Reading Reviews for Misplaced Dreams
  
13 Reviews Found

Review #1, by alicia and anne Epilogue: Free

18th January 2014:
Denial is slowly fading. the truth is settling in and I don't like it. ;(

*sulks*

This is a really sad chapter and I'm feeling so very sad.

Jared is all alone and he's had some terrible things happen to him in his life and it's making me sad, I want to hug him!

Awww Theo!

AW They're together again! I'm actually crying! There are tears!

This was brilliant! Such an amazing ending, even if it was very sad.

So amazing!

Author's Response: Denial is very helpful. I love it. Keep it.

It's a very sad chapter. People keep dying. *hugs you and Jared and Theo*

Thank you so much for leaving a review, Tammi. I'm sorry for the sadness.

Sam.


 Report Review

Review #2, by alicia and anne Iceberg

18th January 2014:
I get like that, although sometimes I can barely remember what I ate the day before...

Oh no, I don't want them to argue! Because if they don't make up and the ship sinks... I shall cry.

Oh no, the sea is calm... it's the calm before the storm!

I'm glad that they apologised to each other though, they needed to, especially because even they couldn't remember why they had fought in the first place.

Oh no! I know it's coming but I want it to stop! ;(

This is making me sad... I want to cry :(

Awww he wants to save Nathaniel!

:O THEY COULD APPARATE! Why didn't that thought cross my mind?

Yes they're out! But no Nate is hurt! :( I don't want him to be hurt, please let him get better.

:O

Did you seriously just do that to me? Did you break my heart?

Nope, denial is setting in!

Next chapter will have him okay.

Yes.

Yes, denial is good. :D

Author's Response: I can never remember either, it sometimes gets me into more trouble than whatever it is I've forgotten. :P

It would have been too sad if the ship had sunk before they'd made up. I couldn't do that.

Yep,the calm before the storm is definitely what it is. That's how you know so etching bad is happening.

I'm glad you're glad they apologized to each other. They really did need to.

I wish it would stop, too. Please don't cry.

Ahh, yes, he does.

THEY CAN! You were too scared, maybe?

I didn't do anything. We love in the land of denial. :D

Thanks for the amazing review, Tammi!

Sam.


 Report Review

Review #3, by alicia and anne Never Forget

18th January 2014:
I really like how he's comparing being on the Titanic as being similar to being at Hogwarts with being contained to one place.

:O NATHANIEL VEGA?! *Tries to stay calm* It's great knowing secrets and inside information because when I see characters you've mentioned I get so excited! :D

Awww he met a Charlotte, :D That's nice that he has someone to talk to now that he's been left alone to explore.

I am really liking Charlotte. :D She seems like fun!

I'm scared to read more and find out what happens to them all when the ship sinks. but I shall continue on because it's a wonderful story!

Author's Response: Comparing it to Hogwarts is like building this false sense of security; it's a security blanket. But, like Hogwarts, the bad can still come. So sad. But a good comparison, I think. :)

NATHANIEL! He's very excited that you're excited to see him! :D

He met Charlotte. They shall be my what if couple. She's very nice, I'm glad you like her.

Thank you so much for leaving a review!

Sam.


 Report Review

Review #4, by BookDinosaur Prologue: The Ship of Dreams

1st January 2014:
Hello! I'm here for the Sixth of the Twelve Days of Reviewing. :)

Ah, this is exciting! I've never read anything about the Titanic before on HPFF, and I'm really interested to see how you'll work this into the HP universe.

I love the relationship you've establised between Jared and Nate, they're so obviously friends with each other, although perhaps Nate might treat Jared a little better than Jared treates him because Nate is adopted, but nevertheless they are best friends and I think that came across really well in here.

I liked that little touch you added at the end where Jared wonders what the girls will be like because it just showed us the subtle differences in the pair and helped to characterise Jared that little bit extra.

I also really enjoyed how they viewed the Titanic as such a grand adventure, some irony there considering what happens to them in the end. And how they treated Jared's younger brother and said that sven was too young for adventures! No age is too young for adventures, not really. No age is too old for adventures either.

I found it really interesting that this deals with the Nott family. I thought the Notts were meant to be purebloods, but here they are preparing for one of their kind to take a trip on a muggle-built ship that will have muggles in it. Maybe his goes to how at peace the two worlds were before Voldemort came along.

I absoluely love the fact that you didin't tell us the name of the ship until the end, it kept a bit of the susense going even though we know what's going to happen. And then you pulled the same trick on us at the end with that remark about wishing to turn back the clock and the beginnings of worst nightmares, and if I didn't know the fate of the Titanic I would be desperate to know what you were talking about. As it is, I'm very interested in learning about what's going to happen to Jared that makes Nate so remorseful.

I really enjoyed this first chapter, you did a great job conveying a lot in so few words. Amazing work!

Author's Response: Hello!

They are definitely best friends, always have been. Nate has always been a little... clingier, I guess you could say, because he's not a real Nott, he doesn't want to lose what he has. But Jared treats him as he would a brother, doesn't fear the same things because he won't leave Nate. :)

Titanic was probably seen as a grand adventure to everyone, what with all the press and being called unsinkable, so I think Nate and Jared would definitely think the same things... until the end happens. No age is too young or too old for adventures, unless you're an older brother who doesn't want his little brother interfering. :D

The Notts are Pureblood, but they are also old money and used to having the best. Titanic would have been considered among the best, something that not many others in their circle would have. And it was before Voldemort, so it was a little more acceptable because it showed money.

It's good that I get to keep the suspense going, even though we essentially know how everything will end. Ah, does something happen to Jared or does it happen to Nate? ;)

Thank you so much for leaving a review!

Sam.


 Report Review

Review #5, by alicia and anne Unsinkable

7th October 2013:
Awww I love how excited and happy they are about being on a boat and onwards to a better life for them both. I'm finding their excitement infectious and I can't help but smile along as I read.

I love how you really capture how amazing the Titanic was, it really was magnificient and you have got that across brilliantly in your descriptions, it's easy to image them running through the ship, imagining what and who they pass. :D

Aw *squishes* I can't help but love whatever character has the Nott name. :D

Awww they've met a lady friend! :D Poor Nate though, feeling uneasy at pretending, but Jared is right, they won't see these people again.

I do like how Jared explained away what Nate said, it must have made people uneasy to hear that the ship could be sinkable, and he must have seen the future if he mentioned that Icebergs could sink it. If only he knew what was coming.

I can't wait to read more of this, Sam! You're such a fantastic writer that I get so excited when I know that you're updating something. :D

Author's Response: It's the time to smile, they're very excited right now. Can't say about later, but right now they're happy.

Aww, thank you. I'm a bit of a Titanic buff, I'm very glad it's paying off. :P

He's just being realistic, he has no idea what's coming. And that's a little bit terrifying...

Thank you so much for leaving a review, Tammi!

Sam.


 Report Review

Review #6, by HufflePuff_Blitz Unsinkable

19th September 2013:
I loved this chapter!!! Nate at dinner is how I feel when I go on boats. I like the different take on the titanic and hope to see more soon! Keep up the awesome work :) -kyle

Author's Response: Hey, Kyle!

Thank you so much, I'm glad you like the take - someone has to have doubts. :)

I'm so glad you liked it!

Sam.


 Report Review

Review #7, by alicia and anne Prologue: The Ship of Dreams

18th March 2013:
This is exciting! Titanic! :D I like the Titanic (not as much as my dad who is too obsessed)
I really like how he talked about how much this trip would mean to him and that it was their time to show that they were adults, and make mistakes and look after themselves.
I wonder how they'll get on on the Titanic, and how they'll deal with the inevitable end.
I can't wait to find out more my lovely!! :D

Author's Response: Titanic is one of my favorite history topics. The film is alright, but actually learning about it is much better.

Yeah, it shows that it's meant to be a good trip, their mistakes aren't supposed to be this bad. But things never go to plan.

Thank you so much for leaving a review!

Sam.


 Report Review

Review #8, by TenthWeasley Prologue: The Ship of Dreams

26th February 2013:
Titanic is my all-time favorite movie, and I've read more books than I care to count on the subject -- so seeing your forums advert for your banner, and then seeing that that banner had Leonardo DiCaprio on it to boot, made me curious! I've never read a Potterverse-centric story about the Titanic before, and this was a very interesting way to start.

I like the relationship you've already built between Nate and Jared, and I'm intrigued as to how you're going to develop that over the course of the story. This was a short prologue, but it led into the rest of the story nicely -- which is, obviously, exactly what a prologue is supposed to do! The ominous note at the end was a nice touch, too, although I do suppose we all know how the ship's story is going to play out. I have a few suspicions about what'll happen, but we'll see if I'm right...

There were a few things I noticed in reading this story that you might want to know about. :) First is comma splices -- you have quite a few in here, and it makes your writing seem a bit more unpolished than it could be. If you haven't looked into those, I'd definitely recommend doing so. One example was here:

We, however, were eighteen and not long out of Hogwarts, just last summer, to be exact. -- There should either be a semicolon or a dash after 'Hogwarts,' or the 'just' should be the start of a new sentence (I'd do it the first way myself). They're two like thoughts, but they're also separate thoughts, and can't be part of the same sentence, even with commas. There were several other examples of this, too, so be on the lookout for those.

And a couple of grammar things:

one look between he and I told me that second ticket belonged to me. -- 'he and I' is not proper grammar here. You wouldn't say "the look passed to I" or "the look passed to he." Although it sounds funny, the correct way to word this sentence is "one look between him and me." I would personally avoid that altogether and rephrase it as "one look between us."

the tickets in my best friend and brother's hands would takes us to it. -- 'takes' should be the singular 'take' instead.

Nice job! I hope I've been of some help to you, and I'm curious to see where this story is going. Keep writing!

 Report Review

Review #9, by Siriusgirl Prologue: The Ship of Dreams

11th January 2013:
Hi!
This was the only entry for my challenge :(
Good job. I really hope you post more. It's a promisnig start.

Author's Response: Hi.

Aww, that's sad to hear because it was a great challenge. I have my chapters all planned now, they just need to be written, so I hope it won't take me so long to post. :)

Thank you for making this challenge and for reviewing.

Sam.


 Report Review

Review #10, by academica Prologue: The Ship of Dreams

7th December 2012:
Hi Sam! I feel like you're always updating and adding new stories and yet I never make it over to your page. So I'm here for the holiday review swap :)

I really like the tone of this first chapter. It think it matches up with the movie, that air of excitement and wonder and all the hope that could come with an adventure across the ocean to America. I think it's neat to imagine it coming from two young boys, and it'll be cool to see what they get into before everything goes south--as it unfortunately must :(

This seems like a small quibble, but I wasn't a huge fan of the names you chose. They seemed a little too informal to come from a stodgy pureblood family like the Notts. Nate, I guess, is a little different because he isn't actually their son. Jared and Anthony, though, just don't fit well for me. 'Ant' also isn't the nickname I would have chosen.

This is a good start, and I can only imagine how magic and the Titanic might collide. Great work!

Amanda

Author's Response: Hey, Amanda! Yeah, one day I'll stop writing everything down... No, probably not. :P

Yeah, we all know the ending to this story. Well, the ship anyway. It's a new thing for me to write, but I'm a Titanic nerd so fingers crossed I won't mess it up. :P

The names just seemed to fit in my head, when I imagined their characters. The nickname 'Ant', though, is actually there for a reason and would be the youngest brother's nickname no matter what. That'll come up in the next chapter.

Thank you very much for reviewing this. :)

Sam.


 Report Review

Review #11, by CambAngst Prologue: The Ship of Dreams

30th November 2012:
Very interesting premise! You don't often think of magical folk getting caught up in the major news events of the muggle world. Since you're about to plunge the two of them into the middle of one, I can only assume this story will be about that voyage.

You give us only the barest taste of who these characters are and what to expect in your prologue, but I still found it intriguing. The son of an old, pureblood family and his adopted brother/best friend, setting off on a great adventure together. It definitely holds a lot of promise.

I noticed one small typo you might want to take a second look at:

-- Jared didn't answer me, he'd already fallen asleep. I listened to his soft breathing, waiting for sleep to tale me as well, and my dreams are all of our adventures on Titanic. - should be "take me as well".

Nice start!

Author's Response: Yeah, it'll be interesting writing about the friends on the Titanic. New for me to write, but I hope I get it right and people continue to enjoy it.

Thanks for pointing it out, I've fixed it now. And thank you for leaving such an amazing review. :D

Sam.


 Report Review

Review #12, by BKL8008 Prologue: The Ship of Dreams

29th November 2012:
It's an interesting premise, and I will hold off all judgements (admittedly tainted by other Titanic fiascoes). So far, it sounds interesting and I want to see what happens to this gang. Onward!

Author's Response: I hope this will different to other Titanic stories. I hope you continue to like it. :)

Thank you for reviewing.

Sam.


 Report Review

Review #13, by slytherinchica08 Prologue: The Ship of Dreams

29th November 2012:
Sam! this is a great beginning! I saw you post the link to this on the forums and thought I would pop on by and leave you a review as I haven't read anything of yours in a bit! I thought this did a good job setting up the beginning of the story, it introduces the two main characters any way and their relationship with each other. I look forward to reading more and seeing how you go about this! good luck on the challenge, i've entered it as well but haven't finished chapter one yet! Great job on the first chapter!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Thank you for stopping by and leaving such an amazing review, I really appreciate it. I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to respond.

Sam.


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login