29 Reviews Found

Review #1, by AlexFan One day after

27th September 2014:
Story Search Round 1

I've been meaning to read this story for a while but I've been really busy so the Story Search gave me a perfect reason! Scorpius seems so lost after the breakup with Rose, and though I've never experienced something like this, I can see why he feels this way. Rose has been such a huge part of his life for so long that he would obviously feel like something is missing from his life.

I like the other characters that you've introduced as well. Lottie and Natasha seem really great, if maybe a little weird but I already really love them and I'm excited to see what they add to Scorpius's life. Scorpius's parents are absolutely perfect, oh my God, they're so concerned with his love life, it's almost like they're giving him advice on how to deal with a bully. I wonder how well Scorpius's friendship plan is going to go.

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Review #2, by Water_Fay Six hundred and forty seven days before

23rd March 2013:
I love how you have the chapters labeled by days before and after. I really like how it starts after the break up and then goes back. keeps it interesting and kinda reminds me of 500 Days of Summer. love your work. You are by far one of my favorite authors on this site. Love!

Author's Response: Hey Water Fay!

Thanks very much for this lovely review! Glad you like the style with the days before and the days after. I've actually got almost all of this story written (apart from the next chapter, which is annoying).

Should be more with you soon! :)


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Review #3, by AriesGirl40 Five hundred and sixty eight days before

26th January 2013:
I enjoyed the easy going banter. It's all fair game in NaNo. Would make an awesome bumper sticker. see you next chapter!

Author's Response: Ahhha, I'm definitely going to get that sticker! That sounds wonderful :)

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Review #4, by sour_grapes_snape Five hundred and sixty eight days before

26th January 2013:
There's nothing quite like the craziness and insanity that is the Weasley family. You know, they really WOULD have a cockroach cluster eating contest, would't they? They're all ginger nutters, the lot of them.

I really like your portrayal of Scorpius. It's so different from many of the other ones, and it feels so much more real, too, based on the (very little) that we know about him from J.K. Rowling. The part about his childhood was so heartbreaking. I can't imagine growing up without all the crazy little things I did with my brothers and cousins.

D'aww. We're getting so ScoRose cuteness :) Once again, I really like how you're developing their relationship. It really is different from anything I've ever read - but of course, all of your stories are like that. It's why I love them so much.

Cheers!

-Laura

Author's Response: LAURA! Hi. Welcome to my NaNo :D

Yup, absolutely nutty. I was wondering whether I'd made them too mad then realised that I most definitely hadn't, ahha. I LOVE the Weasleys xD

One of the things I liked most about this was my Scorp - he's just so useless and lovely and I want to give him a big hug. And I wanted their relationship to develop in quite a normal way, as opposed to something dramatic and huge - relationships never seem to do that in real life.

Thank you for this lovely review! :)


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Review #5, by chocolateteacups Six hundred and forty seven days before

2nd January 2013:
I really liked this chapter - seeing how they had gotten together was good, I liked the backstory. I really enjoy the writing style and I think the sense of character you have created is very strong. Good work :)

Author's Response: Thank you chocolateteacups! As it was Nano there's LOTS of backstory and chronology jumping and I hope you still like it after awhile. Thank you :)

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Review #6, by AriesGirl40 Six hundred and forty seven days before

31st December 2012:
I like NaNo writings, they tend to be very wordy and informational. Great Job!

Author's Response: Very wordy indeed! Thanks for a lovely review :)

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Review #7, by Wistful Three days after

29th December 2012:
I'll start the first line of this review by remarking that I think the first line of the chapter is absolutely epic. Mostly because if I was him I'd be dramatically on the bed and being completely confident that it was the absolutele worst break up in the world. So, I think I like this version of Scorpius. And I love how he didn't seem to realize how the friendship offer wasn't exactly legit because in the books everyone says that and no one actually means it. And I admittedly am wondering why Scorpius's Mum provided a second alarm after the first - although on second thought that would be a good idea for me.

AND HELEN I REALLY LIKE LOTTIE SO I HOPE YOU HAVE SOME AWESOME PLANS FOR HER. Because. because she is epic. And poor Scorpius with his dysfunctional family. Although I'm sure you'd like me to commentary on every single thing that I like [because I'm sure that would be quite a review] I'm going to cut off xD

AND STACEY AMUSES ME. AS DOES DOM.
and that concludes this review xD

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Review #8, by Cirque Du Freak Three days after

28th December 2012:
OH MY LIFE I LOVE STACEY SHE IS FAB. No, but, seriously. I do love her. She's amazink. Fabulous kind of Dom-ish, but not kind of character? Like that's the impression I got so far.

Aw, but yeah I love their back story where, you know, Scorp isn't such a loser and got laid brah. Lol, no but yeah. I don't know what my reviews are and I will not try and attempt to describe them or even coherently write them seeing as its impossible right now (despite my being in an absolutely freakin normal mood). My cat agrees that Stacey is fab. Astoria is even more fab, because oh my life couples' counselling with Draco Malfoy. Thats a brilliant idea to have. Awkward sofas and sitting there in a sulk like 'you don't appreciate my spontaneous fervour Astoria just let me be the beautiful peacock i can become!!!'

I also really love that this has like this Abstract Nouns-esque kind of style of writing? Like the split up between half monologue and dialogue, but a little bit less philosophical shall we say.

Author's Response: HEYO.

I knew you'd like Stacey! In my view she has a certain duality with Dom, and it just gets me shaking my head and stuff because if it wasn't for Rose I think Dom and Scorp would actually be quite good friends.

I WANTED TO ASK YOU ABOUT THAT (it's weird not being able to ask you anything). I had this whole like 'how to solve a problem like Scorp's dating history?' (that isn't actually what it was called but 12+) and I was asking all these people like SHOULD SCORP HAVE HAD A THAANG WITH STACE. So yes. I'm glad that you like that.

AHAHAH. couples counselling. I might have to actuallly write some of this.

I'm glad you like it Hanzi because this is al youurrs :D


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Review #9, by Cirque Du Freak One day after

28th December 2012:
Lol I'm such a *insert favourite type of expletive here* because I haven't even reviewed this yet despite having been ahead of reading this before~

YOU ADDED STUFF TO THIS CHAPTER that I didn't see on the other website and its all deliciously long and stuff and aw yeah I like this.

There were loads of different parts of the same situation and I really love that because its all connected, but it makes it feel like we know the characters fairly well at this point, because of all the different interactions that go on with Scorp and then we could potentially imagine loads of different ways Scorp could react to other situations, too, and yeah.

I loooOoOo00ve your Scorpius. I kind of get now that I read this back why one would think of you as Scorpius, because he's got the clotted cream thing going on a bit, but he's not that pathetic, because he can stand up for himself if he really wanted to and he has the humour and potential to be really fabulouso and yeah.

I really like this determination of being friends after their breakdown of a relationship because its entirely possible and it has this sort of adventurous side of Scorpius, because he really seems like he wants to give it a go and not give up on that and its all a bit like a muted passion? IDK what I'm saying anymore.

But yeah, I really loved this and it was super freaking awesome and ajsfhsaifauhfsdufhdsufs I can't believe you wrote this for me.

Thank you darling. ♥

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Review #10, by Manga_girl One day after

16th December 2012:
Great new story Helen! ScoRose is one of my OTP's and I'm sad that they broke up even though I haven't even seen Rose yet in this story...

Anyway, I really liked your portrayal of Scorpius and his opinion on the break up. In a lot of stories it is Scorpius breaking up with Rose but I like the idea behind this story.

It's a really good idea, showing two ex'es trying to be friends rather than two friends trying to get together again!

Anyway, I really enjoyed this and I'm going to go and read the next chapter now!

Author's Response: Whel, with me you never really know what's going to happen. Glad to see you like the story and thanks for the lovely review dear! :)

-AC


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Review #11, by Toujours Padfoot One day after

13th December 2012:
Poor Scorpius. :( I wonder if it will ever really hit him that it's over, or if it has hit him and he's merely overestimated what his reaction to it should be. Maybe he doesn't need Rose as much as he thought, or loved her in that way as much as he thought. Maybe both of them will have a more fulfilled relationship if it's platonic.

Which raises the question: Can they only ever just be friends? There's that history there, and initial awkwardness, and the judgment and expectations of friends. The true test is when one or both of them begin to date other people, and how that's received. Rose has a stronger family support system than Scorpius, whose family is palpably disappointed in him for not being able to make it work (LOVE LOVE LOVE that Draco was pleased his son was shacking up with Hermione and Ron's daughter just for the sake of aggravating them. That's hilarious.). That they depended on him to put their name in a good light by associating with such a renowned family of war heroes to sort of lift them up out of their own darkness, is sad but understandable. Astoria sounds absolutely suffocating, questioning him as she did during dinner. Stiff, cold, formal people. I love that Scorpius regarded her as the height of maternal when to people like Rose, who's grown up knowing real warmth, only sees traces of unhappiness everywhere in that house.

I wonder what went wrong with Scorpius and Rose, besides Dom's influence. (Rude, Dom! Rude!) I'd like for Scorpius to find someone who really would have him crying on the floor, clutching a teddy bear in the event of a break-up, someone he became willfully dependent on, someone who understands what it's like to have such a horrifying genealogical background. Where Rose shines in everything she does, and comes from a family of nothing but wonderful, beloved people, Scorpius has a bunch of holes in his family. He should find himself. Figure out what he wants, what's good for him.

Or maybe Rose IS the one for him, but not yet. Not right now. Maybe she's outgrown the current Scorpius and would be better suited for him after he's done a bit of growing up and becoming more independent, more confident.

This really got me thinking, as you can tell by my rambling! I'm hoping the best for Scorpius, no matter who he ends up with.

Well-written, compelling, with touches of sadness and humor in all the right places. I really enjoyed it! And as this is an entry in my gift-it challenge, I'd like to extend a thank you for your participation. :)

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Review #12, by fayeswonderland Three days after

9th December 2012:
Hi there!
So this story has only two chapters until now, but you already got me hooked!
I love how it the plot is so different from all the others i've read: the traditional built up from either friendship or hate to a relationship in the end.
I like that it starts with the break up and that it already has a complicated pre-story.
Stacey is a lovely character - when she said the bit about the booty call at the end I actually had to laugh out loud (that's a very good thing ;)).
I really feel for Scorpius, the poor guy is devastated :(
What I also really enjoyed were Scorpius parents and the fact that their relationship isn't perfect either, but they try to make it work.
What I would love to see in the next chapter, would be a bit insight into Rose's feelings - how she sees the break-up: was Dom right, when she said "nobody means that" (being friends after a break up) and and and...
You really made me curious as to how your story continues!
Favoriting and I can't wait for the next chapter!
-Sally

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Review #13, by imacullenpottergirl Three days after

8th December 2012:
Well, that was a very interesting chapter! I really enjoyed it! My heart kinda sunk when you elaborated on how the Malfoy's marriage is falling apart, because Drastoria is one of my OTP. But every story is different I suppose. But don't get me wrong, I still enjoyed every word of it!

I found it quite surprising when you said that Stacey was never supposed to exist, because in my eyes, she fit in quite well there actually.

Again, loved the humour, especially the bit with Dom. Looking forward to another chapter soon!

-Abhi

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Review #14, by imacullenpottergirl One day after

8th December 2012:
Wow. Um, where have you been all my life?! How have I not read even one of your stories?! I am absolutely boggled! You are such an amazing writer, and I loved this chapter.

Scorpius is such a fragile and charming character, I can't wait to read more! And, already, I can just tell, that I'm going to love him. I can just tell.

You put such detail into your story, its astonishing because its a nano, and most people struggle to finish before the end of november, let alone stop and put such incredible detail into every sentence!

I loved the humour in this chapter, what can I say, I'm really loving this. I just can't stop smiling! This story really has put me in a great mood, and with the week that's ahead of me, I'm gonna need it.

So thank you!
And just letting you know, I'm going to go ahead and read the next chapter too, just cause I want to, even though I only had to read one. Technically.

Loved it!
-Abhi

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Review #15, by slytherinchica08 Three days after

8th December 2012:
Oh how I loved it! I'm so excited to finally see that bit about writing the letter as i find it really funny and it really is what interested me in this story! I liked the whole idea behind this, two people trying to remain friends after breaking up. It is a rather hard thing to do though I'm really glad to see this in a story because I like to reamin friends with my exs because if I was friends with them before why can't I be after? I think Scorpius is wonderfully sarcastic and fun, I just love the way that you have him. And Stacey was fun to read about! I love how NaNo creates these other things that weren't supposed to be there but then when you begin writing it you're like yeah that is so awesome! I can't wait to see more ScoRose though but I have enjoyed these first two chapters, as I do anything else written by you! This was a wonderful second chapter! I will be keeping my eyes out for the next! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Review #16, by LittleWelshGirl99 One day after

8th December 2012:
Hahaha, ok, wow. This was so great, there is literally a huge great grin plastered across my face right now. The entire thing was just... ack, so good!! I'm reminded a little bit of Marina's 'Just Rose' but from a less creepy Scorpius's point of view. I'm still trying to figure out Scorpius to be honest; the problem (well it's not really a problem) is that I can sense so much of /you/ in this story, particularly the sections with Draco and Astoria and the 'dysfunctional family' scenes. I'm sort of muddling up you and Scorpius. :L

But I do love the attention to detail you always have in your stories; it's amazing really, how well you can make the words jump off the paper at me. in this chapter, I think it was Lottie's dubious coffee-making ability that really made the whole thing so realistic and imaginable. Love it.

I've been looking forward to reading this ever since you said that you were writing ScoRose for NaNo, and i was definitely not disappointed by it! But then again, I was never expecting to be ;)

xx

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Review #17, by shadowycorner One day after

6th December 2012:
This. Just...wow. Maybe this story speaks to me in such a special way is because I've gone through a similar break-up recently (I mean, it fixed itself for now, but it was really tough the in-between). I just need to reach out and hug Scorpius because he is so genuine. I also feel kind of bad, because I was Rose, sort of, but also Scorpius a little. And there's just something about your narration, oh my God. Personally, I don't really like beginnings in which the character has a monologue about what happened and how it happened etc etc, I'm more of a jump right into action kind of reader, but here it didn't bother me at all. I really cared and I really wanted to know about what happened to Scorpius and how their relationship ended, I don't even know why, I just did. I love his honesty about the entire issue, especially coming to the end. I've never felt so close to Scorpius in any Scorose before! I also think that the premise is original, because there are all these stories about how they get together and this begins with their break-up. But I believe this will change, I mean, I HOPE SO, because my heart just melted when I read about the way Scorpius loves her. At the same time, I feel he needs to grow a little bit and gain independence. I am really, really interested in this. There were also these little things that I liked, like Lottie calling Scorpius Scorpio, just lol. Also, Draco's attitude about Rose. That sly ferret man! And it was also quite refreshing to read that he wasn't madly against the relationship but the contrary. Overall, a great display of character and I'll definitely be back for more. :)

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Review #18, by CherryBoom Three days after

6th December 2012:
I like Stacy and her straight shooter personality. It's interesting to see Scorpius's ex-girlfriends and how they act around him. Clearly he has usually ended relationships on good terms, maybe partly because he seems to try to avoid disturbing the balance in his own life at any cost.

The idea that the kid would write letters to home, so that his parents wouldn't divorce, is quite sad. Then again, I guess if Draco would've suddenly become a happy-go-lucky family guy after the war, it would be a really far-fetched idea. I like how you paint an interesting family picture of the Malfoys for us, but that it's real with difficulties and not just glossed over.

The best part of this chapter was definitely Scorp's and Dom's discussion. The snarkiness and sarcasm practically dripped off from my screen. =) And I love that Scorp tries to fend for himself. He should do it more often.

I find it interesting that Rose avoids Scorpius. Hmm... Speculations.

The pace was very good in this chapter. I like your way of writing long, detailed conversations that I can imagine anyone having in real life. There were some misspelled words and such, but it didn't bother me much.

I'm starting to really dig this fic. I'll put it in my favorites, so I can see when you update it again. =)

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Review #19, by CharlieDay One day after

5th December 2012:
Woo! review swap! (Can I just say that the voice control on my phone wrote that so I am VERY PROUD)

I can quite literally never resist a next gen humor, so, um, I didn't resist! I'm so glad to be reviewing this, as im always meaning to read your things, but I never get round to it. Ugh, busyness)

hehehe this was very, very funny! I enjoyed it a lot

I only noticed a few typos in there, but I mean that's to be expected! It's a nano, after all!

All in all, I very much enjoyed it ! Thank you so much for diving me a chance to read some of your fab work,
Charlie

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Review #20, by slytherinchica08 One day after

3rd December 2012:
Helen u have another great story on ur hands! I love that this is told from scorps pov, i feel that it really adds somethong new and different to ur story as most ive read are told in roses pov. I found quite a few spelling mistakes, minor ones mind u, and more toward the beginning to middle of the story. Nothing that a quick sweep through of the story wouldnt fix. Usually i would copy and paste some examples but since im on my nook i cant do that. I thought that the characterization of each of your characters were done really well and i especially liked that scorps parents were acctually supportive of him being with rose. I look forward to reading the next chapter! Great job!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Review #21, by CherryBoom One day after

2nd December 2012:
I like the idea that you took Rose/Scorpius and gave it a brand new spin. It's very much true that this pair tends to be resident Romeo & Juliet in fanfiction, so it's fun to see that you went into totally different direction right from the start.

Scorpius's personality took a little while before it started to grow on me, but his analytical mind and his observations were quite perceptive. He seems to be in some kind of state of numbness because of the breakup in this chapter, and it reflects on writing very convincingly.

Since we didn't see Rose in action, just how Scorpius sees her, it's pretty difficult to say anything about her yet. It's going to be interesting to see whether you'll stay in his POV or whether Rose gets some chapters of her own as well.

Astoria was very well portrayed. I liked how she wasn't exactly the mother hen, but still cared deeply in her own way about her son's happiness. Draco is pretty distant still, but I'm looking forward to reading chapters where his relationship with Scorpius gets more space.

There were some spelling mistakes, a couple of verb problems and one or two instances where your idea didn't come quite through to a reader. I would suggest a little rereading to catch typos and some such. But all in all, those little mishaps didn't affect too much my reading experience. I have always enjoyed your writing, so I'm looking forward to reading more this story.

This chapter was paced bit slowish, but I do think it's a matter of lengthy introductions and limited action, which will hopefully be remedied in next chapters.

It was an enjoyable read and I will continue reading next and upcoming chapters as well. =)

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Review #22, by WitnesstoitAll One day after

2nd December 2012:
Hullo!

This was such an enjoyable read!! I'm not all that big of a next-generation fan, especially where Scorpius and Rose are concerned, but this was so fresh and funny and absolutely lovely that I couldn't help but be sucked in by it all. Your scorpius is darling -- woebegone is an excellent term. I love the use of first person for this story, and you really seem to have gotten inside of his head quite well. Call me a Rose, but I think his relationship with his mum is a little sad, too. I couldn't imagine a mother who couldn't be vulnerable enough to spend time with her child without her face and hair being done up. But, then again, Scorpius does make a valid point -- that's his only experience of mother and so to him, that's what mother is. I thought you did an excellent job of weaving in some Malfoy family history and the general public's views on the Malfoy family into Scorpius' narrative -- it all seemed like a very realistic outcome for them.

I found myself to be particularly fond of Scorpius' work environment. It really seems like an interesting cast of characters. Especially Lottie. That girl -- lololol. I sort of can picture this terribly eager girl with round glasses and no idea how Scorpio takes his coffee, but just trying to be helpful and there. She's adorable. Scorpius' interpretation of her seems a little sad though -- that he sees her as a girl with little self esteem who deems herself not very important, being only a secretary. :( I rather agree with Rose on the matter -- maybe she does feel more comfortable with guys. And besides, who wouldn't want to chat with scorpius?? He seems perfectly lovely.

I dont' find myself feeling all that sad for scorpius having lost Rose -- and I hope that he can remain friends with her even if she changes her mind and decides she wants their relationship back. I also find myself hoping on a small level that Scorpius and Lottie get together. Call me crazy (I know it's only the first chapter) but ships must sail, and I call captaining the S.S. Lottius.

All in all this was a great chapter!! I would suggest (now that the craziness of Nano is over) going through and doing a quick edit. There were a few typos through out this chapter, but nothing so bad as to distract from the context of the story. Excellent job, and I'm really looking forward to reading the rest of this story!

Melissa

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Review #23, by Ron 4 Hermione Three days after

2nd December 2012:
Hey there! :)
The idea of the fic is interesting, I don't think I've read many post-relationship fics and certinly not one concerning Scorpius and Rose but I like it. It works well.

Scorpius, bless him. He's either just completly confused by this whole break up and not thinking clearly or he just honestly believes he and Rose can still be friends. I do feel bad for him and I'm curious as to how Rose is handling this, is she handling it better then Scorpius?

Stacey is quite amusing, and I like how she is just so, laid back (I think that's the word I'm looking for). She is interesting and I hope there is more of her in the story.

I love this part, "There was no bloody way that was ever going to happen.
*
Dom was the one who answered the door." There is just something about it and it fits really well!

There was only one mistakes I spotted, in the first chapter it says "to b happy" and I think you mean to be happy. It's a great story, an interesting idea and I like the way you have written the characters! )

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Review #24, by Aphoride One day after

2nd December 2012:
Oh my gosh. So, I've read a lot of Scorose's (who hasn't?! :P) but this is really, completely different to nearly every other one I've read and gah, it's so good!

First, gosh, I love your Scorpius! He's just so conflicted and sarcastic and kinda pathetic and a little bit whiny, and he's just so real that I just wanna hug him and not stop for about two hours. The way he interacts with everyone is just so post-teenage boy it's funny - he's scared of the women at work, feels lonely and without friends, is doing a kinda crappy job because it's something to do and is still living with his parents. I almost feel like I could walk down the street one day and bump into him, you know? It's almost terrifying... but just great ;)

I feel so sorry for him, though! You've really started this with a bang - Rose breaking up with him, the issues with his parents' marriage and his family life... he's got so much on his plate that maybe it's a good thing he's only doing a bad job, lol - he might not be able to concentrate otherwise. I really, really wanna see where you're going to take this - are he and Rose going to get back together? Are his parents going to work something out/stay together (Drastoria for the win!)? Will he stop being scared of the women at work? SO MANY QUESTIONS, SO FEW ANSWERS!

There were a couple of mistakes - you misspelled 'Avada Kedavra' - and a couple of little grammar things but they didn't effect the story at all.

Great, great job! :D

Aph xx

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Review #25, by AriesGirl40 Three days after

2nd December 2012:
Stacey stays, Scorpius needs someone who makes him think and keeps him on his toes, yet is not a romantic interest. I think she was a good idea.

Dominique though needs to take a chill pill. If Rose and Scorpius's split was in any way her fault, there must be something wrong with her life that she would make it her lifes mission to destroy a cousins relationship. I do hope you have a back story on her.
Good chapter, loved Scorpius freaking out on Astoria. What kind of mother would tell her son that thanks to his screw up she saw the light! I'd move out since they seem to be on the road to recovery. lol

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