Zacharias Smith! That was really good! I mean, I had thought it might be him, but him tracking for the hallows and joining the DA for it is something I've NEVER imagined. Actually, it makes sense. We always wonder why Zacharias had joined DA. And did Rowling tell us Zach was heir of Helga Hufflepuff? Coz that isn't ringing a bell. But it's a cool idea. Good job. =] What about the Peverell Society? Was it a trap or something?
Go Rose! Let's see what happens in the epilogue. I hope no one dies and everything becomes normal.

Loving your story! Please update tomorrow? ;)
Ashwini

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Hi, Ral!

Confession time. Two of them, actually. First confession - Somehow I missed your status or chapter updates post when you posted this chapter. So imagine my surprise when I realized that I had two chapters to read! Second confession, which relates to the first - I read both chapters and now I'm coming back to review. I couldn't help myself. How could anybody stop themselves after a cliffhanger like that??

You did a really good job with Draco. I loved the way that he's matured and assumed the mantle of leadership in the Malfoy family. His demeanor was aristocratic and courtly, but there were some little things that made the change even more apparent. The fact that he shakes hands with both Ron and Harry, for instance. Something he never would have done in his younger days. And I absolutely adored the fact that Narcissa put her foot down about Lucius joining any more "secret societies". She turned into such a hardcore mom!

With the benefit of having read the next one, I thought it was clever the way that you had Derek be a little bit insubordinate toward Harry in the meeting. It was a nice, subtle little thing. And Scorpius is being so protective toward Rose now. Awesome! You've really brought him along well in this story.

I was kind of surprised that Rose listened to Scorpius so readily, but I guess all of the death and suffering must have made an impression even on her. She was definitely asking the right questions. Very perceptive, that one! If she and Scorpius stay together -- please let them stay together, K? -- there should definitely be some sort of job for her doing investigative research for her uncle!

The scene at the Burrow was absolutely heart-warming. I loved seeing Hermione and Ginny in roles that felt a lot more familiar. And the way that Ginny's words inspired Rose to make her feelings for Scorpius clear was really inspired. I thought you did a good job with her thought process.

Ah, poor Ron. You didn't make him quite as happy as you were leading me to believe that you would. ;) As always, poor Harry is caught in the middle. I felt almost as bad for him as I did for Scorpius. Nobody needed the extra stress right at that moment. Harry's recollections about his first kiss with Ginny were a nice addition to the scene.

And then the cliffhanger... Very well executed. I expected they would find something or somebody in the house, and you led me right into the next chapter.

OK, so one silly little typo and then one concern that's a little more substantive:

"Fine, go get her, move her to the Borrow. - Burrow

The more substantive concern is that I thought the pacing of this chapter was a little too fast. There was so much suspense and tension building up, and for my tastes you could have drawn it out a bit more. In the Auror meeting, for instance, I thought it would have been nice to do that scene from Scorpius's point of view and let him reflect a bit on his family's role in all of this while the other Aurors pepper Harry and Ron with questions. Then gradually transition into his feelings for Rose and why he feels so strongly about protecting her. The same holds true for Grimmauld Place. That one might have been more interesting from Rose's point of view. Let her make the transition from happy to see him to very concerned about his safety. It would have helped to set up what happens when she kisses him outside of the Burrow. Also, giving each of them a chance in this chapter to reflect on how they feel about the other would have been nicely complimentary.

Overall, your writing had a really nice flow to it. The chapter hummed right along. Aside from that one typo, I didn't see a thing.

I can't believe we're so close to the end! This has been such a fun journey. OK, one more to write...

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Okay Rose is revealed, what is she going to do? My curiosity is peaked. Good chapter :)

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Hi! I'm here for the May Review Exchange.

This was a very good chapter. I liked how you included the small bag as well as the talking Patronus.

One point, since the Killing Curse has been used, there doesn't seem to be any speculation that the Imperius Curse could also have been used which could have affected the staff or even the missing Auror herself.

There is one sentence:
"And thought that, they as good as gave their intentions away."
Is it supposed to be "And through that..."?

I also like how the Order of the Phoenix is still active.

Great job!

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The ending of this chapter with Rose going to Scorpius was really, really sweet. I'm impressed that Ron is managing to hold it together for so long, but we all know when he snaps it will be a nice dramatic one. Our poor little Ron... I loved Harry's thoughts about how he was glad it wasn't happening yet, because he'd need Hermione and Ginny there with him when Ron does flip out, haha.

The lead playing out with Draco made a lot of sense, and I can't help but think the Society is more dangerous than ever if they wanted to Recruit Lucius. It has to be some old family name... ugh I can't figure it out! You sneaky mystery maker, you.

Rose needing to process what had just happened before talking to her mother or aunt was an awesome detail. So much has changed for her ever since coming back home, and I doubt she ever expected to fall in love. *insert warm fuzzy hearts here.*

I really loved that Harry wasn't shocked by the relationship. Like he said, they were two people that had a lot in common. And he isn't holding any sort of grudge with his niece dating a Malfoy. At least, he doesn't appear to be. Now if we could just get Ron to agree.. ;)

Another amazing chapter ♥

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This story is awesome. I mean when i read first chapter i wanted to read it all and now i have read 13th chapter and i fell like why there are not anymore chapters. The mystery of the story is very good and i love suspense. Update soon :)

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Just a couple of chapters! :O And then the story would be finished? =[ Anyways I'm glad I can't wait to see what happens next and who is doing everything.
Lovely chapter as always! =]

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Rose was so gorgeous at the end!! AAAahh, so much cuteness :D :D Keep up the awesome writing and update again ASAP!

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thank you for updating, hopefully we get to know who is there... i like your story very much, your writing is very good. i just thought that maybe the auror-operation would be a little more secretive.

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I like this already!! It's such an exciting beginning, though very sad to hear that poor Dedalus is dead! :( I wonder why the killer targeted him?! And Parvati's wand... hmm, I suspect there's some mystery going on there.

I really like the next generation world you've set up, especially Scorpius' musings on the history of the Malfoys and old Lucius still stewing away. The descriptions of Harry and Ron working as Aurors and details of how the department runs was very clear and set up the context really well!

I also love the main characters so far! I like how the story switched perspectives between Ron, Harry and Scorpius, and how it focused on both the older and younger generations. Their musings on Diggle's death were really heartbreaking!

Anyway, you've set up such an intriguing beginning, and I'm excited to read more! :D

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Hey, Ral! Sorry I haven't been reviewing as of late, school's a killer! :(

BUT I HAD TO REVIEW ON THISCHAPTER.

DSJGHSKJFCGBVKJ

EEIWODHG

ROSE AND SCORPIUS FEELINGS SO HIGH RIGHT NOW.

ERUPTING LIKE A VOLCANO!

fejdbvfdjkvbdkfj

I'm no longer suspicious of Dean, I haven't been for a long while but for a moment I thought it was Hermione and then I was like nooo because she's all abut loyalty (Marietta Edgecombe in fifth year) so that's moot and I still am very unsure now. You're really good at mystery but omfg I just want to know!

onLY TWO CHAPTERS TO GO?!

HOW

I REALLY JUST WANT TO KNOW WHO THIS WEIRDO IS.

D:

SEAMUS? NEVILLE? THEY HAVEN'T BEEN INTRODUCED YET.

But I really doubt Neville could do all that, not because he's a bit slow but because he's a good person. And I feel like Seamus is too nice to do that as well. :(

WHAT IF IT'S A SLYTHERIN?!

Theodore Nott, Crabbe (but he's dead so that's not right), Goyle, Malfoy (I don't think it's him because he GAVE them the lead so...).

Other Slytherins: Marcus Flint, Kevin or Miles Bletchley, Blaise Zabini (OMG IT'S PROBABLY HIM!!!), Vaisey, Harper, Adrian Pucey, Terence Higgs, Lucian Bole.

WHAT IF IT'S SCABIOR OR SOMETHING THOUGH?!

WHAT IF IT'S HUFFLEPUFFS LIKE JUSTIN FINCH-FLETCHLEY OR ERNIE MACMILLAN OR ZACHARIAS SMITH ROEDHGVJFDKBJD

OR WHAT IF IT'S GINNY'S EX?! MICHEAL CORNER?

I DON'T KNOW

So as you can probably tell, I'm extremely suspicious of basically everyone in the Harry Potter series, so...

Anyway, this was another AMAZING chapter, and I can't wait to find out who it is (is that obvious? :p) and for the next update!

8451785415418651156641654262415641856/10. ;)

- Kayla. :)

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Oh, I love how you opened up the chapter with Hermione making connections and then leaving to go investigate that further. It's a good thing Harry had something to do, or he'd probably go crazy wondering what Hermione is up to.

I like the way Harry is put off by all the people standing around to gawk at him. It seems like a very realistic thing to happen and something that celebrities like Harry will be dealing with for a very long time, possibly the rest of his life.

I really like your choice of characters and set up in this story. I think that's what drew me into it in the first chapter. I love gumshoe Harry, and his deputy Ron, and I especially like how you put Scorpius as a new member of the Aurors and how he's out to prove his worth in the department. I can feel his need to be accepted for his merits and that certainly his family's history hasn't made things easy for him. It's nice to see his character in this fresh light.

And of course there is the mystery you have given us with the elusive Rose. She's somewhere far away from her family, and Ron is determined to keep her there, or at least keep her out of this shady, possibly life-threatening business. This is unusual for someone in the Potter/Weasley clan to be so set apart from their family, and to have Ron insist on not bringing her into this, well, it just makes me wonder.

You keep throwing more questions at us here, to heighten the mystery of what's really going on, and I haven't seen you give anything away yet, which is good. We want to be all good and anxious about who's behind these deaths and the whole situation with the baffling duplicate wands. I especially enjoyed the wand being connected to Moody, someone who has been dead for so long and the seemingly impossible notion that his wand was involved. It was a direct lead in to how they would definitely need more information about the wands they've been collecting. It just couldn't go any other way except to examine these wands closer.

I commend you on keeping your tone consistent through these first few chapters. Even though the style of this story is rather direct, you haven't ignored the little details of these characters' lives. You throw in small mentions of their past, their prejudices and their feelings without breaking the straight-forward nature of the prose. It's very lovely!

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I am so sorrry, I didn't get here earlier and shame shame shame on me.

But here I am, claiming review 100 (congratulations darling!) and ohmygod THANK YOU. This made me so happy!

I feel sort of guilty because the special mention plus this scene equals a big pile of fuzzy feels, and therefore a horribly rambling review.

Also, I'm not on my computer, so run-on reviews are impossible... However, I must tell you that I really liked Scorpius in this chapter, because you gave him some real depth, which is a nice change from the overused shallow Scorpiuses? Scorpii? Anyway.

I loved this chapter, and I cannot wait to see what happens next, both with Scorpius and Rose's relationship, and with the Peverell society!

&hearts

Author's Response: My 100th review! I am hugging you so hard right now! I just knew the first ScoRose moment had to be for you because you've been telling me about it for so long!

Don't feel guilty, I'm happy you enjoyed it! :D And I'll have to go with Scorpii. It makes them (the whole lot of them) sound like bad boys! :P

Thank you for the review!

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Draco? Is that who it is?

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Yay!!! First of all, the appearance of Sirius and sort of Belle made me happy. Hehe. Thank you for the very sweet mention and dedication ♥

This chapter was so much different than I expected. I'm really happy they half talked things out as opposed to sort of going weird about what happened. It's obvious that neither of them regret it, and seems like Scorpius is actually more sure of his feelings than Rose thinks. He knows he cares about her and that she's almost like a safe place for him, but doesn't have to question that.

Poor Rose the analyzer. You can't blame her, though. She just spent the night with a man she cares about, now in the light of day you never know what's going to happen. I think Scorpius did really well actually trying to explain to her that he did care, even using his annoying riddles, haha.

I loved the added bits of humor with the mentions of Ron and Scorpius's first answer to Rose when she asked what happened. Leave it to a man so to be a sarcastic brat when we're just trying to get answers :P

You did a really lovely job creating the 'what could be' sort of feeling. Picturing them waking up together, sharing a lazy breakfast before both heading their separate ways for the day and end up back home with a warm dinner sharing their days with one another. A really sweet mental image, and I loved that Scorpius was sort of thinking along those lines with his thoughts about a flat in Diagon Alley.

Awesome chapter, miss Ral!!! ♥

Author's Response: My lovely Jami! ♥ Your reviews make me so happy you have no idea!

I'm so happy that you liked the mention of Belle. Like I told you when asking for permission to borrow her, she is part of my head canon now and I wouldn't want it any other way!

I guess it's just something girls do, over analyze things that for men are simple. Needless to say I have no idea how men think and I asked my boyfriend some very odd questions along the lines of "how did you know you liked me?" when researching this chapter! I'm almost sure he thinks I'm mental by this point!

And yes, men love sarcastic answers.

I'm so happy you liked this chapter, it was special for me to write and knowing you liked it just makes me happy! Thank you!

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yay! Loved this chapter, the interactions between Rose and Scorpius are both adorable and meaningful. Update soon! :D

Author's Response: Thank you so much! :)

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Belle! She's one of my favorite characters from Before They Fall. :D
Hmm... Nothing related to the mystery in this one too. =[ I'm so curious that I wish that I would've begun to read this after you've marked it completed! ;) How many chapters do we have left now?? Please please please keep updating!! I'll give you cookies! :) Sad for Penelope though.

Ashwini

Author's Response: Hey there! I'm happy you liked my mention of Belle! I love her as well! Jchrissy is amazingly talented like that!

This story will be 15 chapters in total. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

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Every mystery needs a touch of romance to it, so I liked this chapter. I don't know why Rose's not getting that she's head over heels in love with Scorpius. =[
Nothing related to the mystery plot happened in this one, so /i'm curious about the next!

Ashwini

Author's Response: Well, nothing worth having in life is easily obtainable and love I believe is one of those things! She'll come around... I hope :)

Thank you for reviewing!

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Very interesting, quite well written. Please finish the novella soon.

Author's Response: Thank you!

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HI, Ral! I'm back again for more!

You're doing a really good job of balancing the mystery aspect of your plot with the love story that's developing between Rose and Scorpius. We've now had a couple of chapter to see the two of them interacting off on their own. They're definitely kindred spirits. Both of them seem like deep thinkers, and they're both strongly motivated although they seem to lack direction. They're excelling for the sake of excelling, if that makes any sense. Not necessarily because they love what they do. They also have some distinct differences. Rose is very analytical while Scorpius seems more instinctive. Rose's emotions tend to flow freely while Scorpius bottles things up until he bursts. Compliments and contrasts... I see the two of them having a passionate if tumultuous romance.

It was really interesting to see Rose through Scorpius's eyes. At times, she seems sort of like a refuge to him, a person he can turn to with all the thoughts and feelings that he's unwilling to share with the rest of the world. There's a maternal quality to the way he sees her, but he also sees the frightened, uncertain little girl that she can be, as well. Your Rose is a marvelously subtle and complex character!

The fact that they didn't wake up and have an immediate "Oh, CRAP!" reaction really helped to separate your story from a lot of the Next Gen romance stories I've read. Rose and Scorpius are a lot more mature and comfortable with themselves than usually I see them.

“I wish your father could see you now!” he said through peels of laughter, his eyes shinning.

“Be careful what you wish for, Malfoy. I don’t think it’s good for your health, my father seeing me climb out of your bed. - Yikes! That is going to be a touchy moment, isn't it? Poor Ron. He always winds up being a goat of sorts in Scorpius/Rose stories. I'm really holding out hope that you can do something more interesting and nuanced with his reaction.

The rest of their conversation is also revealing and adds to the characters you've been gradually building. Rose worries about whether there's a future for this relationship and Scorpius spends a fair bit of time just trying to get her to accept him for what he is, without analyzing him down to the cellular level.

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention Sirius's brief appearance. It's wonderful and kind of sad, the way that you've given him a bit of new life.

I noticed a few typos as I was reading, probably a little more than I'm used to in this story:

The sight of her, peaceful and relaxed made him smile. -- I think you need a comma after "relaxed".

How am I to know you won’t walk out that door today and asked to be reassigned? -- ask

I already let you in, you’re just to busy staring between the lines to see it. -- too busy

He needed to have his wits about him, especially since they were no where closer to solving the case. -- nowhere

When the emerged from his room and went downstairs, he saw Rose in the kitchen door, leaning against the frame. - When he emerged

“Love, if I make it out alive today, we’ll talk until you use up all your words!” he said and opened the door, Disapparating on the front step. -- "Disapparating" shouldn't be capitalized.

Overall, a very enjoyable chapter to read! I'm looking forward to seeing some more progress on your mystery in the next one!

P.S. - I'm betting on Draco for the mystery man. :)

Author's Response: Dan! So sorry for taking ages to reply to this! Once again I am so happy you liked this!

I wanted to slow it down a bit, call it a calm before the storm if you will. I've had some very helpful hints regarding that from a reader ;)

One of the reasons I wanted them both to be adults in this story is the fact that as an adult you have a better understanding of who you are and the choices you make. If this had been set during their Hogwarts years, their reaction would probably be different, but they are both adults and they own up to their choices.

Oh Ron! I know he is the sore spot in so many Rose/Scorpius relationships and I think his reaction will surprise you. At this point, it's more about the fact that Ron is his boss than it is about the whole Weasley-Malfoy grudge.

Ouch! Oh the typos! I guess I'm making up for all those other chapters! In my defense I changed laptops and this new one is still a little strange for me! I'll do better next time! Promise!

P.S. - IF you are right, I'll be sure to bake you some cookies! :)

Thank you so much for the review and all your feedback in general! It really means a lot to me!

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Oh my god. That's all I can say right now. This story and the mystery is so awesome that I want to read chapter 11 right away and I'm forcing myself to type this words. The Order is still there? Whoa.
Anyway, just a note to tell you that you're awesome.
Just one thing- Rose calls "Harry" and sometimes "Uncle Harry."

Ashwini

Author's Response: Haha! Thank you so much! It means a lot!

As for your mentions on Rose and Harry/Uncle Harry, it's something I do as well. I call my uncles by their names and when I'm talking about them with somebody I call them Uncle.

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Sounds like Draco Malfoy is going to make an appearance. I like Chocolate chip.
Wonderful Chapter :)

Author's Response: If you are right, I'll get straight to baking! Promise! Thank you for the review!

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This is a great chapter. The story flow is very good.

Is it Ron asking Grantham about prints on the windows or doors?

The second sentence in the paragraph "Teddy Remus Lupin had joined..." could be broken into several sentences.

The paragraph where Ron remembers his faulty wand, why does the memory of breaking his wand haunt him? Is it because Lockhart tried to use it and caused a cave-in? Perhaps a change to losing their wands during the war?

Instead of "The men had these conversations sometimes..." add "The older men..."

Also is "feeding of stories of other times..." supposed to be "feeding off stories..."?

I do want to reiterate that this was a great chapter and definitely caught my curiosity. As a bonus, I was able to visual the scene as I was reading.

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing!

To answer some of your questions: Ron was asking Grantham to check for prints everywhere. It's standard procedure when examining a crime-scene.

I didn't think it necessary to add in the "older" men since in the few sentences above, it was Ron and Harry having the conversation with only Scorpius in the room, so it's pretty obvious.

And yes, I do believe that the correct form would be "feeding off of stories". I'll change that when it goes into editing.

Thank you so much for the comment!

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No, no! The Elder Wand's in danger!!!
Haha, it sounds like I'm present at the scene doesn't it? :P But I love mysteries and I go mad while reading or watching them. That's why I'm not reviewing some of the middle chapter... hope you don't mind! I'm curious!

Ashwini

Author's Response: If you can see yourself at the scene, I've done my job right! :)

I'm happy you liked this! Thank you for the comment!

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I feel like I'm watching the magical version of Crime Patrol (an Indian tv show where cops investigate cases like this =]). So many clues and the mystery...
Now I'm sure there'd be some revelations after Rose's arrival.

Ashwini

Author's Response: You probably know this by now, but Rose will bring both answers and more questions. :D Thank you for reviewing!

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