Reading Reviews for Misfit. Another word for king.
  
62 Reviews Found

Review #1, by JamesPotterReborn 7. No more snogducting me!

17th December 2013:
Actually, Reg didn't seem weird enough to me. Is his mother Luna Lovegood? It seems like it.

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Review #2, by Enchanted V 25. Misfit. Another word for King.

8th December 2013:
This was bloody brilliant! Please do write more!

Author's Response: thanks so much :-)

Love, T.


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Review #3, by Anonymous 25. Misfit. Another word for King.

31st October 2013:
I really enjoyed the story! The plot was interesting, engaging and a few parts kept me laughing for hours! There were a few grammatical errors and a few sections that needed some polishing. I hope that you continue to write and maybe someday publish your own original creation. :)

Author's Response: Hi :-)
Wow! Thanks so much! I know I have to work on my grammar some more, but I am definitly working on it.
I am just working on my second fic, so I am still on it and my original work needs a lot of polishing and is still hidden in the depths of my PC, but thanks!
Reviews like yours make my day :-)

Love,
T.


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Review #4, by leakycalderin 25. Misfit. Another word for King.

17th October 2013:
I loved this so much! I loved your characters and plot and love triangle/square! Great work :)

Author's Response: Always nice to hear :-)
THANKS SO MUCH.
Love,
T.


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Review #5, by leakycalderin 8. Of snitches and heartthrobs

17th October 2013:
omg I've shipped James and Lia from the start but I didn't think anything would happen so omg I'm so excited!!

Author's Response: Hi,
I'm so glad you liked it :-)
Love,
T.


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Review #6, by SoaringPatronus 25. Misfit. Another word for King.

22nd September 2013:
I loved it!! One of the better fanfictions I have read. I can't believe there are not more reviews! I liked how you didn't make anyone too perfect (well except for Fred, but he is Mr.Perfect ;) ) and just the general storyline was fun to read.

Author's Response: Hi,
Thanks for the review you really made my day :-).
I did have something up my sleeve for Fred, but i never found the right time and dropped it in the end. But yeah, he is more or less my favourite in this fic, next to Reg. Actually i cant decide ^^ i love them all.
Thanks again. Love,
T.


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Review #7, by Navera 25. Misfit. Another word for King.

9th September 2013:
Hey! Just wanted to let you know that I really enjoyed your story! Thanks for sharing!

Author's Response: THanks so much :-)

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Review #8, by GryffindorsPh0en1x 25. Misfit. Another word for King.

28th August 2013:
This story was brilliant. Loved it so much!

Author's Response: thanks so much =)
You have no idea how much that means to me
Love,
T


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Review #9, by shannon 25. Misfit. Another word for King.

25th August 2013:
Omg... Amazing I love it! You are an amazing writer and have amazing story ideas! So just keep writing!

Author's Response: Thanks =)
I am currently planning my next story, though it's still very early in the making ^^
Love,
T.


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Review #10, by K 25. Misfit. Another word for King.

24th August 2013:
Fab :) SEQUEL!! Great ideas and love the oc

Author's Response: Thanks =)
Always happy to hear people liked my work =)
I am currently working at a new story, but I did think about a short sequel or spin-off =)
Love,
T.


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Review #11, by Lexibugs 25. Misfit. Another word for King.

22nd August 2013:
Can we just take a second to marvel in how perfect this ending was? I loved it.

I spent five hours of my life reading this.

I have no regrets. :)

Anyway, thanks for posting.

Author's Response: wow! You're review just made my day ^^
You can't believe how much this means to me =)

Love,
T.


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Review #12, by HPManiacs 24. So much for a happy ending

18th August 2013:
It's so good! I absolutely have to know what happens next so update soon!

Author's Response: Hey =)
Thanks so much! It's always nice to hear ^^
I just updated two days ago, so according to the backlog, where're almost there =)
Love
T.


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Review #13, by Voldy Needs a Hug 1. Of the invisible Misfits, oh, and call me Lia

13th August 2013:
Hello! It's Voldy Needs a Hug with your (very late) review.

I really enjoyed your summary! It immediately caught my attention and drew me into the story. From your summary, I could predict that this story would avoid many of the main cliches here on the archives, which is a relief.

One of the first things I noticed while reading was switching between tenses. Toward the beginning of the chapter, you switched between the past and present tense several times. It's best to stick with one tense, unless you're including flashbacks in your writing. Most authors tend to write using past tense, which is how the majority of this chapter is written.

I noticed a few grammar and punctuation mistakes, but they were minor. You have a few run on sentences, such as this one: "Head boy, Quidditch captain, popular, a Ravenclaw – imagine growing up with a Ravenclaw parent - and how my mother often puts it, a hunk – not that I would call my own father a hunk, but let me tell you it’s a disturbing experience when your fellow classmates sigh and swoon each time they hear your father’s name – he’s been quite a prodigy during his time." Breaking that into two sentences would make it easier to read and comprehend. Additionally, certain sections of this chapter tended to get a bit wordy at times, such as Lia's recollection of the Sorting Hat placing her in Gryffindor.

So far, I'm enjoying Lia's character. She seems original, funny, and entertaining from this first chapter. However, I feel that you introduced too much information about Lia - and all of the characters - in the first chapter. One of the key aspects of characterization is to introduce such information gradually, without revealing it all at once. Instead of describing your characters outright, try to incorporate their quirks and traits into dialogue, instead of blatantly stating them.

This chapter was a bit description heavy, which can get boring at times. Perhaps you could try adding a bit of dialogue toward the beginning of the chapter, instead of the two lines at the very end.

Overall, I enjoyed this chapter (particularly the characters). I think it has quite of potential, and I'm excited to see how it ends. Good job!

Author's Response: Hi,
sorry for the late response. First, thanks for your review.
I know I am late and I literally have no excuse, I'm busy, working on my new one, new job ... It's been a though month :-)

I am glad you like the characters, thats always one of my main concerns. As this is more of an introducion chapter I want to keep it low on the diagloge, but more will definitly follow :-)

Thanks again,
T.


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Review #14, by heeeeeeee 22. Thinking. It doesn’t do you any good.

30th July 2013:
Please update bloody soon

Author's Response: tried my best =)
i hope one week was quick enough


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Review #15, by Pensieve Princess 21. Of punches and kisses

14th July 2013:
yayayayayayay!! I'm terrible at writing reviews, but I wanted to show how happy I was when I saw this story had updated. I can't wait for more!

Author's Response: yayayay ^^
Thats how happy I am to know you like my story =)
Always glad to hear people like my weirdos ^^
Made my day
Love,
T.


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Review #16, by ShadowRose 7. No more snogducting me!

3rd July 2013:
Wow, I promised you this review over a month ago. I am seriously SO sorry for the delay. But I'm here now, at least! :)

First of all, the word "snogducting" is just all kinds of funny.

You know how I feel about Reg, so I just adored his POV. Especially the part at the beginning where he was just being his oddball self and thinking obsessively about pigs. I swear he'd fit in quite well with me and some of my friends, considering we had an intense conversation about bacon the other day. I also love his little protective streak at the end, where he says, "And he wasn't worth the bacon on his toast if he hurt her." It's a shame you already have him paired with someone, because I'd snatch him up in a heartbeat... Never mind that he's a fictional character. :P

Scorpius is such a good character too. He definitely knows how to handle other people's problems, like advising Lia, but not his own, which is the irony of the whole thing, and very true of many people in real life.

Lia and Fred, in a strange way, make a good pair, at least for now. I would say that I really hope they get together, but seeing as I've already read the next few chapters, I can't say that as I already know what's going to happen.

One CC I have for this chapter is that it might help if you used phrases like, "Laura said," or "Vanity replied," to help the reader determine who's speaking at the time, because there are spots where it gets a little jumbled and I have to re-read it to figure out who says what. Generally, if more than two characters are speaking, or if they don't alternate back and forth, it's best to include dialogue clues to help the reader.

Overall, I really enjoyed this chapter, and feel free to re-request for any later chapters!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

Author's Response: Thanks!

Love,
T.


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Review #17, by HarryGinnyLove88 20. Butter my butt!

25th June 2013:
keep going.. creat story :P

Author's Response: thanks =)
I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Sorry for the long wait, but I am about to update right now.
Love,
T.


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Review #18, by Beautiful Soul 1. Of the invisible Misfits, oh, and call me Lia

10th June 2013:
Hear for the review swap, but I don't think you need my review, you've got plenty already :PP

First of all, this story is excellent already. The name is great, the summary is great, the FIRST LINE is great!!

It's a really great take on this type of a plot, there are quite a lot of fanfics out there with this type of plot similar to yours, but your is written so well I don't care!!

Keep writing this, it's great!!

Author's Response: thanks ^^
Always nice to hear.

Love,
T.


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Review #19, by Courtney 19. And all was well?

22nd May 2013:
Well, I'm sure a few people will be upset when they hear about her staying at Malfoys - like James and even Rose if she thinks that there is anything romantic going on between them, so I'm interseted to see how things will get worked out between R/S and J/Lia. Thanks for sharing

Author's Response: Hey =)
Thanks for the review.

James sure will be upset ... for plenty of reasons ^^ with Malfoy being the least of it.
And Rose and Scorp are always difficult, but meant to be, so you'll soon see if they can finally leave their pride and stubborness behind. Anytime soon.

Love,
T.



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Review #20, by Char 18. A very wotter Christmas

11th May 2013:
Love this story!! But i was totally rooting for Lia and Fred. oh well. I'm super excited for the next chapter, update soon! :) xx

Author's Response: Thanks so much ^^

The next chapter is already written. It just need some polishing, so I hope I can get it up soon =)

Love,
T.


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Review #21, by ShadowRose 6. Oh sweet invisibility, where art thou?

24th April 2013:
Whelp, I must say that I saw Fred and Lia coming... Only because I've already read this once. But it did come as a surprise the first time. :)

I like James and Vanity (Jamity? Vanes?) together, for now at least. In this chapter, you still show them as the really cute and infatuated couple, and it certainly annoys Lia, which is also kind of funny too.

I love how the guys all find Lia entertaining when she's mad, because it kinda makes her seem like she doesn't quite fit in with the guys, and she's kinda a source of amusement, which is quite refreshing compared to the girls who instantly befriend the boys of the story despite their previous shyness.

I like how Scorp and Lia's friendship is progressing, and I love how Lia ends up playing a mediator of sorts between Scorp and Rose.

There were a couple more grammar things in here, but it's nothing major, and its doesn't have an effect on the story, but it's just something I've grown to notice after a while. :)

Fred. And. Lia. Kissed. I honestly love that scene, because it shows the difference between Lia's and Fred's personalities in their attitudes towards the whole situation, and Fred ends up awed by her non-attraction to him (if that's even a word...).

This chapter flows really well too, and has just the right amount of description to keep the reader engaged.

I know that someone said the story was moving slowly, but honestly, that's not necessarily a bad thing. You need a good deal of introductory fluff to get a feel for the characters before you can just into the crazy action. And personally, I think it's been pretty engaging so far anyway. :)

Reg likes History of Magic. Another thing that makes him so weird... and adorable. I feel like I talk about him every chapter... I'm not obsessed, I swear.

Overall, another great chapter, and feel free to re-request for later chapters whenever! :)

-ShadowRose

Author's Response: Hey =)
Thank you again,
I'm glad you like it, finally someone telling me I'm doing an okay job in getting the information i need to get out there out there ^^
Fred and Lias kiss is also one of my favourit scenes. It was really fun to write that =) and I'm glad it wasnt to obvious ^^
As i already said, I plan on editing soon. I swear. Then I'll go over the few grammar mistakes and all that, maybe try to get it flow better or whatnot. I'll do what needs to be done =)

I'll definitly re-request. I always love your reviews =)

Thanks again,
Love,
T.


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Review #22, by ShadowRose 5. And up we go…

24th April 2013:
Hello, here I am again!

"I'm just saying, maybe the mandrakes just need a good old hug." And once again, the good ol' Reg we know and love has returned. :)

There are some more grammatical things in this chapter, like "Thisbelonged" in the second paragraph, which I'm assuming should have a space in the middle.

I like how Lia's opinion of Scorp did a gradual 180 as she talked to him, and eventually ends up thinking of him as an acquaintance, and eventually a friend.

As for James and Van, I think you have a good dynamic going between the two of them, because while it's definitely not a romance for the ages, you can see that they both at least have some feelings for the other, and it's just a cute little relationship.

I like how you use the conversation with Scorpius to kind of show what would have happened with James if he'd seen her fly, because even Scorp has the same initial reaction, and then ends up complimenting her.

I have one little CC on the flow here, because I feel like in between the time that the trio starts working on homework and ends is a little jolting. Even just a sentence that said something along the lines of "After, quite a few hours, Van looked up and said, ..." or something like that, so that the reader can see a clearer time frame, because then it's a little easier to relate to.

I do really like the description in this chapter, especially up in the Astronomy Tower when you're talking about the nighttime and things like that.

Also, references to Muggle literature. LOVE. Maybe that's my inner bookworm coming out (scratch that, it IS my inner bookworm coming out), but I always appreciate the references in stories.

I love how Fred's first reaction to Lia is asking about her sister, especially since I know what will happen between the two of them eventually. :)

One additional little comment I have is in the last scene, where Van and Lia are having "girl talk." Often it's good to break up dialogue by talking about their actions of expressions, just so that the reader can see what's going on more clearly and get into the conversation a little more. :)

This was another excellent chapter, and I still really like your writing style! :)

-ShadowRose

Author's Response: Once more, thanks so much.

This wasnt exactly my favourite chapter to write. As I went through it over and over and it still didnt turn out 100% what i wanted it to. Especially the girl talk scene, I wanted it in this chapter, but i just couldnt see it anymore xD because i worked over it so much.
I always planned on editing it later on, but I never got round to it till now. Well I'm planning on it soon, but i want to chatch up on my current chapters first.

Thanks,
Love,
T.


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Review #23, by ShadowRose 4. Thank you, Mr. Potter!

24th April 2013:
Well, after a horribly long delay, I'm finally here with your requested review! :)

First off, "His parents saved the world so that we could get drunk at school" is my favourite line of the entire chapter. I was quite literally laughing out loud at that one, because I kept picturing Harry defeating Voldemort, and then suddenly a bunch of kids coming out of nowhere crazy-drunk. I have a weird imagination, but whatever...

Normally I'd comment on the cliffhanger, but considering I've already read most of the later chapters, I kinda know what's coming next... Oh well, cliffhangers are cool anyway. :)

There are a few, I guess the word would be mechanical, issues that I noticed, like "The wind ruffled my locks that hang loose" I think the "hang" should be "hung" to keep with tense. Most of what I noticed was just little things like that, that aren't actually all that important to the chapter.

One thing I do like about this chapter is how well it flows. Even though the events do jump around, I really don't end up all that disoriented, because it transitions very smoothly.

I like that in this chapter, Reg is shown as more of the good friend type guy, and less of the confused jokester. Not that I don't love Reg that way, because I totally do, as has been explained by my previous reviews, but it is kinda cool to see him in a new light.

Ooh, Vanity and James... I wonder what will happen there? Of course, I can't really say that now, as I already know due to my reading ahead, but I think it's a cool story-point to add in, and I really like where you go with it in future chapters, and I really ought to stop talking about future stuff, because then I'll run out of stuff to say in future chapters.

My one little comment is that I feel like there was a little less description in this chapter than in previous ones, and I think there's a lot that you could expand on if you wanted to.

Also, I love the stand-off between Lia and James, because he's definitely in for a shock when he sees her fly for the first time. :)

Overall, really great chapter! On to the next one! :)

-ShadowRose

Author's Response: Hey =)

First again, thanks so much. I always love reading your reviews.
I was a little busy (and i admit, lazy) lately so sorry for replying so late, its not because I dont apprechiate your effort.
Well, I know chapter 4-6 are not my best, I started getting a little impatient with the progress as well, but it was hard to put things out there that i needed without rushing things.
I also wanted to show, why Reg and Lia are friends in the first place. After all he isnt just a confused tag along ^^ he really is a good friend and I wanted people to see that.
As for Vanity and James ... well it needed it to happen. Things don't always straight and this approach seemed more real to me than any other drama that could be so easily sorted out with just one talk, if you know what i mean =)

I'm planning to get ahead a chapters right now, but i also kind of have writers block, so its a little difficult. Well, I plan on editing then and I'll definitly go over the typos and slip ups then, so thanks for that =)

Love,
T.


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Review #24, by slytherinchica08 2. Your bottom is just fine

19th April 2013:
Another fine chapter here! I think you are doing a great job with your main characters characterization, keeping her about equally as sarcastic as she seemed in the first chapter. It was interesting seeing her interact with her family, she really does seem like she doesn't fit in with them at all! And her dad seemed kinda rude to her, expecting her to get all of those owls and not understanding that she isn't exactly equal to him or her mom when it comes to schooling. Poor girl, I would hate to have all of that pressure on my shoulders! Her friends are awesome! I love Reg, he's just so weird but doesn't seem to really care that that is what people think about him. I really don't have too much else to say about this chapter as not much really happened during it. But it was enjoyable! Also i didn't really spot any mistakes in this chapter so great job on that! I look forward to reading the next chapter! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Hey =)
Thanks.
I know the chapter 2-4 are quite uneventful cause I wanted to get the reader a feel about the characters and their friendship. Also their had to be some things out there before it could get to the good stuff, for people to realize why this is "the good stuff" ^^
Well, I really hoped to make up for it with humor and I hope I could trigger some interest as to where this will go.
So thanks again =)
Love,
T.

PS: I was a little busy lately and didn't to read much, but I'll try to drop a review or two this weekend. =)


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Review #25, by slytherinchica08 1. Of the invisible Misfits, oh, and call me Lia

17th April 2013:
So first of all, let me comment on your summary. I love it! I think it does a really good job of catching interest, or at least it caught mine. I love reading stories about people who feel like they are misfits maybe its because I think everyone at some point in time probably feels that way and also because I myself have written a story or two in which my main character has felt/been a misfit.

So this right here: "Head boy, Quidditch captain, popular, a Ravenclaw – imagine growing up with a Ravenclaw parent - and how my mother often puts it, a hunk – not that I would call my own father a hunk, but let me tell you it’s a disturbing experience when your fellow classmates sigh and swoon each time they hear your father’s name – he’s been quite a prodigy during his time." is all one sentence. You might want to think about going back and making this into at least 2 sentences to help make it not seem so long. Right now I just look at it and while I get what its saying, there's really nothing to break it up and allow the reader to digest so to speak. You do it again here: "She was the popular girl during her time at Hogwarts , the pretty one, beloved by everyone, but apart from that grandma raised her to be the perfect wife, to find a man like my father, with the right looks, wealth, influence, than marry him and have perfect little children." My suggestion for this would be to put a period after everyone and then start a new sentence with "But apart.." I think it will just add that little bit more to the chapter. And maybe here: " By the way, while hers were always an angelic example of perfection, mine were an unruly mess." Instead of starting off with by the way, I think that by taking that part off and starting it with But while, it will make it flow better. It made me pause anyways when I first read it since it looked a bit strange to me. This part: "pass me on the streets I probably would trigger " would should be wouldn't. Here: "personality that just drawed you in." drawed should be drew.

Um wow, I'm really sorry about that long paragraph of suggestions! It didn't seem like it was that long, oh well. Anywho onto my thoughts! I really liked this first chapter! The voice of your character is great! She seems very sarcastic and funny, and just very interesting! I loved all of the introductions, I thought they were all very well done and give us a good idea of who our main players in your story will be! So I think this first chapter has a great voice and if it continues throughout the rest of the story you're well on your way to a great story! From what I can tell in this first chapter it seems like we are going to have a lot of fun with these characters, and that things might not always go right for them either. It seems like this is going to be a rather humorous story! I'm excited to see where exactly you are going to take your characters in this story and how they trio of misfits are going to handle their times at Hogwarts! Especially with James Potter running around! I really look forward to reading more! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Hey =)
Thanks so far,
I din't mind the suggestion, I'm rather grateful actually, since sometimes it's quite hard to enact the advise someone gives you.
But I guess I really have to take some time, to go through all of that again and rethink it ^^
By the way, I know about the "would"-typo, I already changed it, but it's not yet revalidated.

So, I'm glad you like it ^^ and thanks again.
I'm off to take another look at yours now =)

Love,
T.


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