Hey, Secret Santa here :)
Gahhh, I love Jily. They are such a cute couple. And James' thoughts in this were just perfect. So were the Marauder's reactions, with the whole confusion about his feelings and not believing he was in love with Lily. I loved this.
The whole 'no dialogue' thing was interesting. You did it really well, so it didn't drag or take away from the story like a few stories like that do. Great job on that!
This was such a sweet story. Love it! Great job :)
Happy Holidays!Author's Response: I'm so glad that the 'no dialogue' worked for you! I was scared to try it because I didn't want the story to come out bland, so I'm glad that you liked it.
Thanks so much! Report Review
This story was great. Definitely one of my favourite Lily/James. The way you voiced the characters was really real and believable, but adorable at the same time. I enjoyed every word. Probably the best short story I have read here, really. (^_^)Author's Response: aw thank you so much!! (:
im a sucker for canon so im so glad that you found everything real and believable!
thank you so much!
(btw, i love that we have the same name!) Report Review
This was so cute! I liked how you showed both sides of the relationship. You did very good in showing James's doubts and fears and Lily's confusion. It was very short and sweet, but eloquent at the same time. Thank you for your submission to the challenge.Author's Response: im glad that you like it!
at first, I had written it to be a one-shot but changed my mind; I'm glad that u liked it!
thanks! (: Report Review
Happy Birthday! This is your Gryffie Brithday review. This story was recent and frankly appears a bit under-loved, so it seemed like a good choice.
I thought this was a fantastic characterization of James Potter.It wasn't too saintly. It wasn't completely lovestruck and smitten. There's a strong dose of competitiveness and a fair bit of fear and even a bit of possessiveness. In other words, it was completely human. Love often starts out as that feeling of realizing that you aren't so happy about the idea of the other person being with anybody else.
The way you wrote the reactions of the other Marauders was really well done. Carefree, slightly jealous Sirius who mostly just doesn't want to lose his best mate to a girl. Wise, patient Remus who wants to help James along. Even poor, clueless Peter who can only contribute his outside observations.
"James didn't want to ruin it, but he knew in his heart that Lily Evans was going to be the death of him one day." - Gah. Poor James. If only you knew how true this statement really was. :(
I think my favorite part was watching James start to be honest with himself about his feelings for Lily. He seems like the kind of kid who had a pretty strong capacity for self-deception. He could convince himself that being popular and talented and a great Quidditch player made up for the fact that he was a bully. He could convince himself that Snape deserved the abuse that he heaped on. (OK, maybe he was a little right about that.) Here, he finally admits something to himself. He's honest about something that makes him feel weak and vulnerable. It's not a natural act for a guy like James, but it's an important one.
Your writing was terrific in this. I didn't see any typos or grammatical problems. It flowed really well from start to finish. Nothing sounded wordy or stuffy.
This was a really good one-shot. You know what I think would be awesome? Writing Lily's side of this. How did she go from thinking of James as an arrogant, obnoxious prat to falling in love with him? Then you'd have a complete set!Author's Response: aw thank you so much!
this was such an amazing review and I loved every piece of it!
This one-shot of mine was a bit unloved, so I feel so glad that you wrote a review on it!
I'm glad that you like my characterizations on James because he's my favorite character (along with Sirius) so I like to think that I did him justice (:
the idea of writing Lily's side is AMAZING!
i think i will do that because that sounds like an amazing idea. it WOULD be nice to see the change and the idea of a complete set is nice!
thanks for suggesting that!!
i loved your review!
thank you so much!! (: Report Review
Awww. I loved this. Great job!Author's Response: aw thank you (:
thnx for R+R! Report Review
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