Reading Reviews for Lost in Time
  
44 Reviews Found

Review #1, by theblacksisters Captured

27th September 2013:
Please bring in Bellatrix. It would be verrry interesting. Plus, shes one of my fav characters.

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Review #2, by theblacksisters Running

27th September 2013:
Good-I like the sound of 'something big'. And u don't have to beg for reviews. It doesn't really affect if I do review or not.

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Review #3, by theblacksisters Tricked

27th September 2013:
Yes! finally some action. Wonder who exactly they are . . . .

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Review #4, by theblacksisters Panic

27th September 2013:
Getting better. I hope they run into Bellatrix or someone like that soon. keep writing!

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Review #5, by theblacksisters Lost

27th September 2013:
It's a great idea. I do think it's a good start, but I think they should see some Undesirable No. 1 posters this chapter-kinda tell the readers what's going on.

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Review #6, by heartjily4ever Captured

26th May 2013:
This is a really interesting story. I think you have written the whole back in time thing really well, and I'm interested as to what will happen next. Keep up the good work :D

Author's Response: Aw, thanks so much for the lovely review! :) It made my day. I'm glad you're liking the story!

~Rosie


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Review #7, by HPManiacs Captured

25th May 2013:
Good cliffhanger! I love time travel stories! I hope they run into one of their parents! I know they aren't supposed to but I think it's funny and cool when they do! Please update soon!

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I love time travel too. I'm not sure if they will run into their parents, but we'll see...(lol I'm kind of making up the plot as I go so it's a possibility.) I will try to update as soon as I can! :)

~Rosie


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Review #8, by Aphoride Lost

19th May 2013:
Hey there, here with your requested review! Also, it's good to see you back around the forums... ;)

First off, I think this is a brilliant idea! It makes a lot of sense for Harry to have something in his office which links to the war, etc. kinda like a Pensieve, maybe, where he puts all of his memories of the war because he finds them difficult to deal with... I dunno, just an idea, lol, but I really like this! I like how it's an orb, not a time-turner, because honestly that's what gets a bit old for me.

Your characterisation is so good! I like how you've chosen the Next Gen kids we know are all about the same age and how it's just them messing around and being curious - coz kids are always curious! Plus, Albus is actually kinda funny - don't know if you intended him to be - what with him getting annoyed/bored at Rose for jabbering on about OWL results and suchlike. Hugo is probably my favourite, though - he's seems so shy and sort of obedient. I'm pretty curious to know what you're going to do with him over the course of the story.

Description-wise... yeah, I'd say there could be a bit more description here and there. Maybe describe what they're wearing, habits they have (like tugging at a jumper/top or something...) since Rose is obviously nervous, the decorations of the room they're in... honestly, you don't need much because this is pretty short and fairly slow-paced, but a bit more might help readers visualise the scene more easily.

The sentences and flow I thought were fine. Because you're writing it in first person, it works. After all, Albus isn't going to think in the style of Dickens, lol. So yeah, I think it works. It helps keep the pace up as well. The flow is fine, tbh. It's not choppy at all, and the way it is at the moment works really well with the style you've got and the first person.

No Brit-picks anywhere... and the spelling/grammar is flawless too - though I think there might have been a missed word here or there (like 'a'), but it doesn't really matter ;)

One thing I would say is that it was a bit odd having Rose and Al sitting on a sofa and then Al suddenly noticing a blue light coming from his dad's study... it seemed a little random. Maybe you could either include him having seen it before, or them walking out of the room and into the corridor? It would make more sense that way, I think, and make it feel a bit less random :)

I really enjoyed this, though. The plot is brilliant - I love the idea that they're going back to their parents' time and in the middle of the war. It'll be interesting to see how they cope with it all... the characterisation's great and your flow is perfect. Feel free to re-request any time! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Thanks for the lovely review! :D (And so quick!) Haha, I've been lurking around the forums previously, but I don't think anyone noticed lol.

Wow, I love your theory on the orb! Whether or not that's really what it is, you'll find out...;) And I completely agree with you about the time-turners, they've gotten old for me too! (Especially since it's been clearly stated in the third book that they were all destroyed!)

I'm glad you liked Al's characterization and Hugo! Hugo might not seem like a very bold character yet, but he'll get his chance to shine soon, haha. :D

Yeah, description is definitely a major weakness of mine. I like your ideas though, so I'm definitely going to add in some more details on what you've mentioned when I edit. :)

I'm glad the sentence structure was fine! and you're absolutely right--Albus doesn't think like Dickens. :P

I see what you mean--my transition seemed a bit abrupt, didn't it? Again, I'll probably edit that.

Thanks so much for the in-depth, wonderful review. It means a lot. I will definitely re-request soon! :D

~Rosie


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Review #9, by Courtney Dark Captured

17th May 2013:
Hi Rosie!

This was another great chapter. I really love your writing style, and I am definitely going to have to check out some of your other stories - it is really easy to read and I kinda like the fact that it is short and sweet.

I've said it before (I think) but I absolutely adore the idea of this story (I wish I had thought of it first - grrr!) and can't wait to see where it goes next.

Keep writing!
Courtney:)

Author's Response: Hello! Thanks so much for the lovely review, it means a lot. :) I'm so happy you like my writing style!

I know what you mean, I feel like that when I read other stories as well. :P

Again, thanks so much for the kind review! :)

~Rosie


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Review #10, by JustBrilliant Captured

14th May 2013:
Hi there again!

Okay, first of all, I am surprised I am the only person to review so far... I feel like things are getting kind of slow around here since all the books & movies have been out for a while, but I still think it's a bit silly this chapter doesn't have any reviews yet! :o

ANYWAY, I loved this chapter like the ones before it of course :) And I knew right when he said "Voldemort" that they were in trouble lol, and I can't help thinking how odd it would be if Voldemort DID kill them BEFORE Harry destroyed him... I mean, that's just a mind-bender in itself...

Well, I hope you update again soon because I REALLY want to know how they will manage to escape the snatchers/Death Eaters!

Oh, I give you another 10/10 by the way. ;)
Until next time,
Caitlin (aka JustBrilliant)

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing! I was starting to get worried that I was such a slow updater I lost all of my readers! :P

I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter! Haha I just love putting those four in tough situations, don't I?

I'll try to update more once summer starts! Thanks again for the lovely review. :)

~Rosie


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Review #11, by Gerard Running

29th April 2013:
it has been ages, it needs to be faster with the updates

Author's Response: I'm sorry to keep you waiting, but you must understand that I have things to work on in real life too. I'm trying my best to manage my time both on HPFF and RL so you will have to be patient.

~Rosie


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Review #12, by Seaphora Running

4th April 2013:
The action in this chapter was lovely! I just wish it was longer, but that's okay, I understand real life can get difficult sometimes. Update as soon as you can, please!

Author's Response: I'm glad you understand. :) I will try to update as soon as I can, and thank you so much for reading the story!

~Rosie


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Review #13, by Seaphora Tricked

4th April 2013:
Awesome chapter!! :O Now I can finally see where this is all going! You're very clever, aren't you? ;)

Author's Response: Aw, thanks! I'm glad you're getting a grasp of the story now. Thank you so much for reviewing! :)

~Rosie


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Review #14, by Seaphora Panic

4th April 2013:
Lovely suspense build-up here! I loved their reactions to seeing the wanted posters, and I overall enjoyed this chapter very much! You're a good writer. :) This is my favorite story of yours!

Author's Response: Haha, thank you very much! I'm very happy to hear that you enjoy my writing. Thanks so much for all the support you've given me! :)

~Rosie


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Review #15, by Seaphora Lost

4th April 2013:
Now THIS is a cool idea! I am so excited to see what happens! I really enjoy time-travel stories and this is exactly what I've been looking for! Very well-written and definitely my kind of story. Well done! :)

Author's Response: I'm glad you think this is a good idea! I like time-travel too, which is why I wrote this story! Thank you very much for reviewing. :)

~Rosie


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Review #16, by Nikita Running

28th March 2013:
yay
I thank you and it was most definitely not a bad chapter please please please update soon and I will be eternally happy you are awesome

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! :D I'll try to update as soon as I can. ^^

~Rosie


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Review #17, by bananasareamazing Running

22nd March 2013:
lurve it! keep writing! :D that hotel lady was a mean poohead!

Author's Response: Haha, glad you liked it! :) And yeah, the hotel lady sucks, I know. :P

~Rosie


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Review #18, by Water_Fay Running

19th March 2013:
I actually liked it. I only wish it was longer. I'm really excited to see what happens next.

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! :) Yeah, sorry about the length. It was shorter than I originally intended. But hopefully the next one will be longer! Thanks for the review.

~Rosie


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Review #19, by kjp Running

19th March 2013:
ah! I'm so excited, this chapter wasn't boring at all. I'm literally in love with Al's character in this story, Most people expect him to be a little like Harry but your Albus is totally opposite :D
Update soon
- kjp

Author's Response: So happy you liked it! :D Yeah, I always meant for Al to be different than Harry personality-wise. It's also my head-canon. Thanks for the review, and I'll try to update as soon as I can! :)

~Rosie


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Review #20, by Courtney Dark Running

19th March 2013:
Hellooo!

I don't have much to say except that I love your story as much as ever. I just wanted to leave a review because I know how much random reviews brighten my day...even if they just say 'I like your story'. So...I like your story!

Anyway, this chapter was definitely brief but it certainly wasn't boring. I found myself desperately wanting more. I really can't wait until the next-generation kids (possibly) have some more encounters with the characters we know from the books! And I also like how you are slowly bringing Al's character to life, through the little details about his personality you add here and there.

Nice job!
Courtney:)

Author's Response: Thanks so much Courtney! :D You're right, this review did make my day!

I'm glad you didn't think the chapter was boring! And yes, the next-gen kids will have a brief encounter with some of the minor characters from the book. I can't do major characters because that might cause some time travel complications, if you know what I mean. :P

I'm so happy you like Al's character! Again, thanks for the lovely review! :)

~Rosie


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Review #21, by JustBrilliant Running

18th March 2013:
All I can think is 'oh my god, he threw a DESK at them!' hahaha. It's probably because I'm tired, but I thought that was funny. Anyway, I saw you had updated and was like "woohoo!" so I thought I'd come and check it out ;)

And I'm thinking that if it were me I'd be tempted to throw something at Mrs. Muggle Hotel Manager by now. I mean, drug dealers, really? lol.

I didn't think it was confusing or boring, so don't worry about that. Rather, I got all the way through and was like "I require more!"

So, I reiterate - I require more! So update when you're ready and stuff :)

Until next time,
Caitlin

Author's Response: Haha, a desk! I'm glad you found it funny! :P Yeah, the Hotel Manager needs to calm down a little--I really enjoyed writing her though. (For some reason annoying characters a the most fun to write!)

Thanks so much for the review, I think I'll be able to update soon! :)

~Rosie


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Review #22, by Thanks Tricked

12th February 2013:
awesome but you need to hurry up in putting the chapters out there it is making me anxious i really want to know what happens at the end

Author's Response: I'm glad you're enjoying the story, but please do remember that I have other things to do as well, and have work to do just like you. I'm sorry it's taking so long, but I hope you understand.

~Rosie


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Review #23, by JustBrilliant Tricked

7th February 2013:
I for one was totally aware that the old cook was up to something hahaha. It's like when you watch a horror movie and you're yelling at one of the people in it not to open a door or to leave while they still can haha. Anyway, my point is that you made me anxious! lol. Update soon please!

I mean... I simply MUST know what happens next! :)

Author's Response: Haha, I'm so happy you enjoyed the chapter! :) That was exactly the affect I was going for--when the reader knows what the character is up to, but the main characters don't. Anyway, thanks so much for the lovely review, it means a lot to me. ^.^

~Rosie


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Review #24, by Courtney Dark Tricked

4th February 2013:
I absolutely love this story so far, and I can't wait to see how all the events will play out-and the back story to the orb was definitely very interesting. You did a great job on that!

I really can't wait to see what happens next-how Albus, Rose, Lily and Hugo manage to get themselves out of whatever situation they have just found themselves in. I also really hope they somehow interact/see characters from the books who lived in the current time. It would be cool to see what their reactions would be...and if anyone would mistake Albus for Harry.

Your characterizations are coming on very nicely-Hugo seems so cute and innocent. I especially liked his line: “What about our parents?” I like how you slipped a couple of funny moments into this chapter.

Looking forward to your next update!
Courtney:)

Author's Response: Hey, I'm so happy you're liking the story! :D I'm also glad to hear that you liked the orb's backstory and Hugo's characterization. Hugo gets a chance to shine in a later chapter, even though he isn't really prominent right now. ;)

Haha, you're thinking along the same lines as me! Very soon, Albus will be mistaken for Harry. (lol I'm just spoiling the entire story, aren't I? But a lot of people are asking me this so...)

Anyway, thanks for the lovely review, it means a lot to me. :)

~Rosie


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Review #25, by Pheonix Potioneer Tricked

4th February 2013:
Cool! I wonder what they will have to do in order to get out of this! This will be tough to get out of...

So that's why they ended up in this time period, they can only travel by 25 years.

The orb is very intriguing, I wonder how it ended up in the shop if people rob each other for it. Also, I wonder how Mr. Borgin knew so much about it. I can't wait to find out!

Can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked this chapter! :D Yep, those three have some tough times ahead if they want to get back home.

I'm happy to hear that you fond the orb intriguing. Thanks so much for the review! :D

~Rosie


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