95 Reviews Found

Review #1, by LilyEPotter Chapter Three: Questions and Answers

31st August 2013:
Back again for another review!

Again the storyline is flowing well and the characterizations are great!

The phrase "Harry saw everyone around him dug into it," doesn't flow very well. Perhaps "Harry watched everyone..." or "...him dig into it," would help the flow a little bit.

In the sentence "Were all curious in knowing where and what you have been doing for the past year." You might consider "We're all" instead of "Were all".

For "Harry began to tell them about his meeting's with Dumbledore", perhaps "meetings" instead?

I noticed "scrared" instead of "scared".

I couldn't even begin to imagine what it must have been like to recount what they had gone through the past ten months after having lived it.

Having them debrief their actions before getting a checkup seems wrong, but it also seems to be that way in the books too.

Good job!

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Review #2, by LilyEPotter Chapter Two: Discoveries

31st August 2013:
I'm back again for another review! :)

Again, the storyline is flowing well and the characterizations are good. :)

In the sentence "I don't know, should we tell them about the Horcrux's?", you could consider "Horcruxes".

Another phrase "knowing he needed some spare at the moment." I suspect "space" instead of "spare"?

It is a little surprising that they haven't convinced Harry to see Madam Pomfrey yet, considering what happened. But it also makes sense that he's going to try to hide the pain he's in for as long as possible.

I also like how Harry and Ginny have started their relationship back up with little fanfare. I am curious how George knew they were a couple when the rest of her family didn't know. I know it didn't say in the book, however, whether her parents and brothers besides Ron knew or not.

Good job!

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Review #3, by LilyEPotter Chapter One: A New Beginning

31st August 2013:
This is a great beginning for a story!

One thing I saw was "tried his hardest to clam his heart", I suspect it should have been "calm". Another one I saw was "Harry look at her and too noticed" in which you might consider "also" instead of "too". There was also "Ginny kneeled down" where you might consider "knelt" instead of "kneeled".

I think that the story is flowing well and your characterizations are good.

It makes sense that Harry would have at least a bruise from where the Killing Curse hit him.

Good job!

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Review #4, by Sar Chapter Twenty Two: Under Attack

4th July 2013:
What happens next? Will they find the treatment for the curse in Professor Snape's notes? He healed Draco fairly quickly in six year after he was hit by the curse. What about the Auror training? It would be interesting to see what the training is like and how well Harry and Ron do, as well as see what the differences are between their ideas and the program. J. K. Rowling said that they revolutionized the department and the ministry by the time Harry became Head of the department at the age of 27.

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Review #5, by harryhermron Chapter Twenty Two: Under Attack

9th May 2013:
I am enjoy you story. I think a sequel would be great.

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Review #6, by Hi Chapter Twenty Two: Under Attack

2nd May 2013:
are you going to update soon

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Review #7, by GeminiTriton Chapter Twenty Two: Under Attack

26th April 2013:
Can you please try to hurry? It's going so great. In the sequel, make it longer. And I think last of these chapters are I think engagement and stuff. The sequel shall be the marry things. I think that's a good idea. And maybe Harry and Ginny will get James now. Ron and Hermione should get Rose too.

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Review #8, by Unknown Chapter Twenty One: Auror Talks

24th April 2013:
This is great. Will there be more chapters?

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Review #9, by Tani Chapter Twenty One: Auror Talks

22nd April 2013:
The story is interesting..please continue!!

Author's Response: Don't worry, the next chapter will be up soon ;)

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Review #10, by GeminiTriton Chapter Twenty One: Auror Talks

20th April 2013:
Please, I want ACTION! Gimmie that chapter!

Author's Response: Yes, there will be action! I'm starting to type it up today, but I don't know when it will be up.

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Review #11, by GeminiTriton Chapter Twenty: Getting Back To Normal

20th April 2013:
Please, please, please get the updates coming! I always check if you updated it or not regularly now. I felt so happy when two chapters were added. Please, please, please continue.

Author's Response: Aww, thank you so much! Its nice to know that you really like this story! And don't worry, I will continue.

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Review #12, by FriendofMolly Chapter Twenty One: Auror Talks

19th April 2013:
GinnyPotter,
That was bound to happen. The lack of law enforcement and the presence of DE's still loose. It will also depend on just which DE's. I can only hope that this will end on the side of Light. You do have not only recent veterans of the Battle, but three of the most skilled Witches of that Battle. Of course now Harry, Ron and possibly Kingsley are on the way, though there will be action I can only believe that it will end well. I do hope you have the next ready for post soon.
FoM

Author's Response: I haven't started to write the next chapter yet because of my crazy schedule, but I can't wait to start on it, I have a good idea of what I want in it! I hope as well that it'll be up soon, thank you and keep on reviewing!


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Review #13, by Xray281 Chapter Twenty: Getting Back To Normal

16th April 2013:
Glad to see another chapter, but it felt rushed. Don't worry about posting too soon. Remember. Quality, not quantity. When you rush, you make simple mistakes. Almost got the spacing down though. You really do seem to have a good grasp on the characters mannerisms. Enjoyed the short read. I will be patient for the next update. Ever Onward.

Author's Response: Thank you, and I probably will go back and fix it. I knew this chapter wouldn't be the best, it is sort of a filler for things to come. Thank you for reading!

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Review #14, by FriendofMolly Chapter Twenty: Getting Back To Normal

16th April 2013:
GinnyPotter,
Other than one typo, it was just the in between chapter that was needed. You are hinting that there is another reason Harry is so sleepy. I can think of a few. But then Ron and Hermione would be too, if it was catching up the rest missed when they were on the run. I'm thinking it goes back to all the energy Harry had to expend to stay sane while part Riddle lived in his skull. Anyone else would have been insane. I did really enjoy this one. Keep it up!
FoM

Author's Response: Thank you! I didn't know if this would be a good chapter, seeing as I write it half asleep! I hope you keep on reviewing!

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Review #15, by Heather Kay Chapter Nineteen: Trials

2nd April 2013:
I have finished reading all the chapters so far and I think they are really good! You have a good talent for story telling :) Keep writing more I can't wait for the next chapters! Keep it up.

Author's Response: Thank you! The next chapter should be up in a few days.

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Review #16, by GeminiTriton Chapter Nineteen: Trials

2nd April 2013:
Nice story! Keep it up!

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Review #17, by GeminiTriton Chapter Eighteen: Arguements

2nd April 2013:
This is like an original Harry Potter book!

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Review #18, by GeminiTriton Chapter Seventeen: Comfort

2nd April 2013:
Nice story. Couldn't wait for more!

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Review #19, by GeminiTriton Chapter Sixteen: The Unknown

2nd April 2013:
This is simply good!

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Review #20, by GeminiTriton Chapter Fifteen: Healing Outside

2nd April 2013:
Why is there a cliffhanger? You do that a lot!

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Review #21, by GeminiTriton Chapter Fourteen: Little Hangleton

1st April 2013:
This is cool, keep up the good work!

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Review #22, by GeminiTriton Chapter Thirteen: Surprise

1st April 2013:
This is filled with action. It seems nice!

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Review #23, by GeminiTriton Chapter Twelve: Fred's Final Farewell

1st April 2013:
It's okay, I now the pressure. Right now, try not to make the next book have problems too!

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Review #24, by GeminiTriton Chapter Eleven: Nightmare's and Funeral Arrangement's

1st April 2013:
This story is so cool!

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Review #25, by GeminiTriton Chapter Ten: Explaining

1st April 2013:
The next chapter should be fun, I'll read.

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