Hey there! I saw that you were nominated for most thought provoking Diadem and Iíd been meaning to check this story out for a while, so now seemed like a great time!
Wow. That is all I can really see about this chapter, and wow in a good way mind. I can definitely see why it was nominated for that diadem. Iím just blown away by it all really, and Iím so glad that I clicked on it. It was just amazing.
It didnít connect for a while that Lila was Lavenderís daughter, but when I found out it made perfect sense, and it really fitted with the bitter and slightly evil character you built her up to be. I think it was a really brave step to make your main character hate on everything, but it was really effective because I really felt as if I knew her even though it was only after the first chapter.
I canít wait to learn more about Lavender, and what sheís been getting up to and whose Lilaís father, as itís obviously had an effect on her if she acts in this away. Her emotions are so deep, and I can relate to them even after chapter one. Ah this was just a perfect chapter really.
And Albus Potter is sort of evil too. I rarely see that done, but I really liked it. I always imagined that the next gen children wouldnít be as perfect as theyíre usually portrayed to be so itís a real delight to read how youíre portraying them here.
Your overall style is really lovely and easy to read and the descriptions were great. You have a new follower of your story, and I will be back as soon as revision lets me :D
-Kiana Report Review
ANNON! (Yes I know I greet you this way every time, but your presence is too sporadic for my taste so I am obliged to enthuse about your appearance).
That sentence was quite a mouthful, anyway, HELLO YOU I AM HAPPY TO SEE YOU AND LILA BACK.
I like that Lila's middle name is Rosaline (and depsite everything she says, it fits her) -- it softens her, makes her less agressive.
I have a theory about Lavender, except I don't want to express it here in case people read this. So, I will PM you soon, if I remember to, and also I apologise for this rambliness.
&hearts Report Review
Oh my god. Rhiannon are you trying to wrench my heart in multiple little pieces because you succeeded :(Author's Response: Mwahahahahahahaha I feel like steven moffat
ily Beth :D :D Report Review
I love this story, it's such a breath of fresh air on here! Excellent writing, I'm so very envious of your characterisation.Author's Response: I'm so so glad you like it! I've enjoyed writing this a lot and I'm pleased you think it's original. As for characterisation, I'm a little scared at how I manage to write Lila apparently so successfully??
Thanks for reviewing! I love you :3 Report Review
Woah, your main character is scary. I would say she's a psychopath but she doesn't fit the description of one so I'll just think of her as crazy or mentally unstable.
I'm curious as to what was going on at the beginning because obviously Lila is hunting someone down but has she turned into a werewolf or something because it sure sounds like that.
I feel bad for the little girl that she nearly broke the arm of, she must be terrified.
I like the ending though even if the teacher is smoking (although that isn't much of a big deal for me). There doesn't seem to be any grammar or punctuation errors so great job on that and Lila has already started to develop as a character.
P. S. you're my 700th review so I'm excited! Report Review
I love this so much- dark/evil characters are my favorite, and I wish I could write them. Alas, I cannot, and they are my HPFF addiction.
I especially love Roxanne. I like the fact that Lila has a friend that is like the anti-Lila, and that together, they are almost normal. Update soon!
SimoneAuthor's Response: Hello! Thank you so much for reviewing i love you ok?! And yes haha I agreee. Dark characters are so much fun to write, and Lila is slightly insane so it's fabulous. Nothing is too weird to write about!! Have a go writing them, honestly! I didn't think I could write them but it came surprisingly naturally... hopefully that doesn't say too much about me... :P
-Annon Report Review
wow, I love this so much! you're such an expressive writer, in other stories lack of dialogue can get boring but even when it's just Lila's thoughts it's fascinating stuff, shall definitely be looking forward to updates Author's Response: IT'S BECAUSE SHE'S SO INSANE HAHAHAHA
Sorry that make same sound like a psycho too. Maybe I am? ;D
Thank you for the flattering review! I will update very soon hopefully maybe xxx Report Review
"The way she looks the most beautiful when she doesnít quite know what to feel."
That's quite beautiful. I want to keep reading simply because I have no clue what to think about each of the characters.
Fascinating narration so far. Looking forward to your next chapter!Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review! I've loved writing this crazy story and it seems that people like it at the moment? idk but anyway THANK YOU I LOVE YOU Report Review
ANNON! *rolls down hill and tackles in a hug* I'VE MISSED YOU AND YOUR WRITING AND LILA AND ALBUS AND WHAT DID I JUST READ!
I am so, so, so, so thankful Lila doesn't follow Roxanne down this one, because she's not capable of it. Thank you. You have no idea exactly how much this means to me.
Albus, what are you doing? Do you fancy yourself dead? Lila will probably go, just for the curiosity of it. I hope.
Such an amazing chapter! I love the way we really get into Lila's head. Great job &heartsAuthor's Response: *hug tackles back*
Hello Val! THANK YOU SO MUCH SO MANY COOKIES ON THEIR WAY TO YOU RIGHT NOW.
No I don't think I could have dealt with Lila starting self harming it would be too hard to 1) write and 2) keep within the ToS and 3)personal reasons
Ahha will she though? Thank you lovely xox Report Review
Wow, thank you so much for updating! I am incredibly impressed with your ridiculously brilliant writing! I can't get over how wonderful your writing is; I have to read every chapter dozens of times. Please please please keep writing more.Author's Response: Thank YOU for such a lovely review! You have no idea oh my god this has really made me feel better after a horrible horrible day. You read every chapter dozens of times? IM CRYING
LET ME HUG YOU
I LOVE YOU OK Report Review
the story is wonderful and I cant wait for moreAuthor's Response: wow thank you! The next chapter is in the queue xx Report Review
I loved the last chapter! Thank you so much for updating!Author's Response: You're welcome! Thank YOU for reviewing :) √Ę¬ô¬• Report Review
Annon, you're on a roll!
ZOMG THIS CHAPTER WAS AWESOME AND HORRIBLE AND I'M JUST A PUDDLE OF FEELS RIGHT NOW.
Lila is so tortured, I feel like giving her a hug - well, you know, from a safe distance or something. She seems to fit much more with Roxanne than with Albus, and I honestly hope you don't get her to end up with the latter (shush, Lilbus shipping feels).
Merry Christmas to you too!
&heartsAuthor's Response: Aww thank you so much! I know it's mean of me but I'm very pleased to hear that my story has reduced you to a puddle of feels :p Lila is very confused and messed up, yes. Poor girl. But the thing is, she also brings it down on herself. And no don't give her a hug, she'd probably attack you! :D
Hmm I know what you mean. I'm not very good at writing slash though, so I'm going to see how things go. :)
Thank you for reviewing Val!! xx Report Review
Hey there, Annon! I saw your thread this morning and couldn't resist the chance to jump back into Lila's mind and story, so here I am!
This chapter was just as intense as the first. I don't know how you do it - focus so much energy into the chapters and keep it there for the whole time. It might be to do with Lila's character or your writing, but whatever it is, it works so well with the story and really makes me keep reading.
Lila is quite honestly terrifying. I think I'd only feel safe around her if I was with someone like Kingsley or Moody, you know? She's mad enough to be funny, but sane enough that it's just terrifying, because she knows what she's doing and that it hurts people but she doesn't care and does it anyway. And it's that awareness, despite everything, which scares me. Gah, I need an Auror bodyguard when I read this, lol.
I love how you're bringing in the Next Gen kids we all know and love in various forms - Lily, Roxanne, Albus - and seeing how Lila reacts to them. She's so harsh to everyone and isn't scared of anyone, except perhaps Albus from that confrontation, and just puts up with Roxanne in a kinda weird way. It's not really a healthy friendship, I don't think.
Also, Albus? Roxanne?! Lila's lovelife is looking a little busier (can you even call her lovelife a lovelife? Should it be more a 'not-hate life'? lol) now :P I loved the little touches you put to them and the new bits of Lila we saw - like her hating number thirteen, Roxanne trying to do her own tattoo, Albus being so protective of Lily and hating Lila but being somewhat compassionate at the same time. Even now, they feel pretty real.
Gah, I really wanna know what happens in the next chapter now... - how Lila reacts and everything... such a cliffie you left there... so unfair... ;)
Anyway, this was a really great chapter and I really enjoyed it!
Aph xxAuthor's Response: Hi Aph! Thank you for such an amazing review :O I'm so pleased you decided to come back.
To be honest, I'm not quite sure how the story got to be so intense either. I wasn't planning to make it so focused and emotional, but there we go. It is a good thing for me to write, because humour gets a little boring after a while and I like to expand my genre and techniques and things.
The thing about Lila is that she doesn't care about the risks to herself; getting expelled, or detention or anything. So she wouldn't hesitate to lash out or do something totally unexpected. I think that yes, it would be advisable to encounter her with a trained Auror!
Lila doesn't do healthy friendships really, but I am hoping to evolve her relationship with both Roxanne and Albus!
Thank you for such a flattering review!!
xx Report Review
Ack, okay I love this.
I mean, she is pure evil and it's delightful. Not even in the way that people sometimes write evil characters, either, but she's just... wow. There was just something so excellent about her somewhat violent (and slightly beyond) tenancies and her just existing in Hogwarts and accckk, LWG, I realllyyy like it and I'm going to add it to my favourites. I love stuff like this that's a little bit messed up and leaves you a tad unsettled, and I don't think I've ever read such a smooth piece of writing with such a... unique main character.
The last bit, ack ack akc, that last line was just so great that I can't get my head around it. I loved the bit about the sword. Wonderful. Is she a gryffindor? How is this going to turn into a longer story? I can't wait to reaadd morreee. Love it.
Happy writing :)
-ACAuthor's Response: FEELING SO FLATTERED RIGHT NOW.
I must admit, I feel delightfully evil when I'm writing this story actually. There's something so satisfying about writing characters such as Lila - well, to me anyway. And I often have to ask myself whether I'm overdoing it a bit; I mean, it's not entirely realistic is it. :P But yes, I wanted Lila to be unique, so I just kept pushing the ToS boundaries- and will continue to do so. ;D
No she's not Gryffindor, she's in Slytherin, but I can see why you might think she's gryffindor!
-LWG :) Report Review
Tagging you from the Review Tag thread.
This was really fascinating. Very unique and far-removed from the vast majority of Next Gen fics on HPFF. In a relatively short space, you've built up a very interesting, well-defined and rather frightening main character. The seething rage and aggression that fills her is almost tangible the way that you write it. The violence she inflicts on those around her doesn't seem born out of any particular affliction that I can pick out. She simply hurts people because she likes hurting them. She likes the feeling of power that it gives her. You're doing a terrific job of avoiding all of the usual cliches so far.
Her pursuit of the first-year boy that she eventually jinxes had me more than a bit convinced that she was a werewolf. There was a very primal feeling to that section. The blending of sights and sounds and sensations was very vivid and a clever way to paint the scene in the reader's mind. Then to discover that it's all about something as silly as a quill -- or perhaps even more frighteningly that it isn't really about a quill at all -- made her seem even more raw and sadistic. I loved it, really.
It seems like she has an equal and opposite of sorts -- at least a worthy nemesis -- in Albus Potter. That sets the stage for a lot of very interesting confrontations. In the end, it seems that she gets the better of him, although not without considerable effort. And she's good with a knife, which immediately made me think of Sollozzo in the Godfather for some strange reason. For his part, Al was a different sort of intimidating presence to me. Confident, vaguely menacing but without the undertones of sadism and unnecessary violence. More refined, if you will. It's a very believable and somewhat traditional characterization for Harry's middle child.
The scene with the new History of Magic professor was brutally chilling. I loved the subtle aspect of her personality that her preference for ending Voldemort's life betrayed. The smoking teacher? Eh, honestly I think you could have been alright without that detail, but I definitely understand how you can sometimes get a picture of a scene in your mind and anything less just won't do. It didn't ruin anything for me.
Your writing was fantastic in this. Everything flowed beautifully and the abrupt nature of the dialog really complimented the mood. You used more profanity that I usually like in a story, but it didn't seem out of place at all. My hat is off to you. You're a great storyteller and a very good writer. I hope I get to read more of this!Author's Response: Hello there! I'm awfully sorry at how long it's taken me to respond to this review *hangs head in shame*. Truth is, I wasn't sure how to! It's so brilliant and amazing and helpful, I didn't want to mess it up with a lame response.
But I'm facing my fears. xD
I'm really encourage by all the things you've been saying in this review, because it makes me feel that people are interpreting the story the way I wanted them to, and not getting the wrong end of the stick.
Yes, Lila is addicted to power. She has to be in control all the time, she has to let out the rage that constantly consumes her - and she does this by hurting others. She's a horrible, evil character and is so much fun to write.
Well, the werewolf aspect comes into her characterisation slightly as well. Of course, it's not very plausible for her to be more than a TINY bit animalistic/feral, seeing as her mum wasn't even bitten properly, but I'd like to imagine that some of the raw primal instincts have filtered down to her.
Hmm... if I'm honest with you Albus's character sort of sprung into shape of its own accord. I don't have any clear guidelines as to the way he should act, which I'm certainly working on. But I like the way you perceived him! :)
I have quite a bit planned for the history of magic teacher!
I'm truly honoured to get such an amazing, flattering review from you. I can't thank you enough for the time and trouble you took to do this for me!
SO MUCH DELICIOUS EVILNESS. This will be a rubbishy review because I'm heading over to your lovely PM to give proper feedback there but I do love Lila's creepiness. Such hate in a character is unusual - the only people who I feel come close are Pippa Nott and etc.etc.'s Albus - but I really enjoy it :D
It was nice to meet Roxanne! She's very enigmatic, I hope we see more of her (although the ending was slightly WTH?!-y... eh what) and she seems nicely evil too >:D and more Albus!! HE'S SO DELICIOUSLY ANTI-EVIL, I hope Lila brings him down with maximum sexual tension and minimum cliche.
I am clearly getting far too into this evil business, but I do like reading a less fiesty Lily II; it's nice and original!!
BACKSTORAY, WOOHOO~ It was awesome to know more about Lila's evil ways and why she's such a sun-sucker (fine, I made that weird word up) because all I want to do now is KNOW MOAR 8D
so FANTASTIC JOB ANNON!!
~Lottie xoxAuthor's Response: HEY THERE. Gaww this isn't a rubbish review, this is a very lovely review indeed!! Thank you. :3
Hmm yes SDF's Pippa is pretty similiar... but nicer... and less insane. There is something sort of refreshing about reading (and writing) about "evil" characters.
Yeah, Roxanne and Lila huh? It's not really a slash and it wasn't originally going to have any mention of slash but ... err ... it wrote itself? :P
Roxanne's a bit of a weirdo too - what with the whole gothic style and the tattoo.
Maximum sexual tension and minimal cliche! I like it! (but may need some help with it :3)
sun-sucker describes Lila so well omg! YAY FOR BACKSTORIES. There will be more backstory. Soon. Maybe.
xoxoxox Report Review
Hey, I'm here from tag.
Your language is lovely. You've really got that tactile imagery down; the running at the beginning actually felt physically painful to read, which is fantastic.
And all the violence is described in perfect detail, leaving us no illusions as to what kind of person Lila Brown is. (I can tell you've been having fun with all this bullying and dominance. It's fun to read, too.)
Poor Lavender. First she's scarred for life when she's a teenager, then she has to become a sex worker with all the stigma attached to it, and then she has a beast from the fires of Hell as a daughter. Will we meet her as the story progresses?
And the ever so mysterious History of Magic teacher. He seems to understand Lila, and he seems to be a bit of a character himself. I'm intrigued.
Well done on this so far, and I may pop in again at some point to see how this novel gets on, so stay tuned.Author's Response: Hello! Thank you for the review. :)
That's such a great compliment, thank you. I was aiming for a more sensual, abstract kind of narrative. The violence sort of adds to that because it's quite unexpected and strange really - but yes you're right, it leaves no illusions as to Lila's character.
Lavender will certainly make an appearance. As Lila's mum, she has a large part to play in the plot - and indeed Lila's characterisation.
Ack thank you! I'd love that :)
-LWG Report Review
Ack I honestly love the way you write! It's captivating and flows very, very well that I don't want it to stop!
One point that I honestly loved:
Potter shoots me a derisive look. "Go to hell."
I cackle, "Oh, but I'm already there."
I love Lila so much and this chapter gave a lot of food for thought. Roxanne? very, very intriguing character. and what ever happened to Lavender? another very interesting plot line happening there.
I love this story :D that's all I can say!Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much, that is such an amazing thing to hear. :D I LOVE YOU FOR THIS REVIEW. It means a lot to me. Thank you.
xxx Report Review
Awesome chapter again, I can't wait for the next one! :)Author's Response: THANK YOU SO MUCH ASDFGHJKL :3 xxx Report Review
I love love love this so much! I adore Dylan Thomas so I immediately chose to read this when I saw the title, and I'm so glad I did! I love how you present Lila. I'm a big fan of 'evil' characters so I adored her. I really really want to read more!!!Author's Response: hello! Thank you so much for the review :D I love Dylan Thomas too - especially do not go gentle into that good night - so yeah. I wanted to base a story on it :)
MORE IS COMING.
I'm queuing chapter two today ;D
thank you xxx Report Review
It's Veritaserum_Girl; from my review thread
I absolutely love this!
I really love the idea of an evil main character, and I really love Lila's negative view on absolutely everything. I don't think that this story is too intense at all; I think it's just right.
The way you write is very nice; I enjoy the language and the way you compose your words.
I think you've got a very good start and I would really like to see how this story plays out! c:Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much for such an increidbly fast response to my post in your review thread :D
I'm pleased you don't think it's too intense; I had been wondering just how far to go on the whole "evil" thing and the "violent i hate you all" attitude :/
I'm very flattered by this review! Thank you! xx Report Review
I don't like WIPs, and yours doesn't differ - I hate waiting for updates! Obviously it's too late for that now.
This is really well-written, and I actually like you character despite how horrible she is. I'm a terrible, feelingless person. Anyway, yes, so I loved this first chapter and now your going to have me reviewing regularly and asking for more, just like right now.
:)Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for such a sweet review :3 Aww I'm sorry its a WIP! I'm nearly done with the next chapter though :D
Don't worry - you're NOT a terrible, feeling-less person! I love Lila too :)
MORE IS COMING :D
thank youu xx Report Review
AH SO EVIL, AND HOW DO I ALREADY LOVE HER SO MUCH?! Your writing is so fabaroo and exquisite, Annon; I'm already in love with the evil Lila and her nasty, violent ways. All the description was so perfectly balanced to make her feel evil but not overdone as that's just uncomfortable ;) I can't wait to read more about Miss Unhinged and Potter, they've got a thing already, and you've given this Thing such an air of mystery that it's impossibly exciting already :3 MORE SOON PLEASE OKAY, although I realise I say this about all your stories... xoxoxoxAuthor's Response: YAY LOTTIE YOU ARE TOO AMAZING TO ME WHAT DID I DO IN ANOTHER LIFE TO DESERVE THIS REVIEW?!?!
yay I'm glad it wasn't uncomfortable! that'd be awks ;D I was wondering just how far to go with it and whether to give Lila at least ONE redeeming quality but then I thought I'd just post this first chapter and see how it went!
Miss Unhinged lol, GAH THAT'S GUNNA STICK NOW :P
yay i love you
xoxoxoxox Report Review
Words cannot express how completely awesome Lila is.
She is a NINJA!! :)
And it's so original, her parents and the whole chapter, it's just so creative!!
Not to mention fambubblybumshus :D
I love this chapter, and her reputation.
You can certainly tell that this story is different to all the others.
I love the new fantastic idea and the perception of Hogwarts from a kind of "Damn this place SUCKS." POV instead of the usual "Hogwarts is amazing." perception.
I love the amount of respect she has for the teachers, how all together badman she is.
My favourite part is actually the vivid and gripping description at the beginning of the story.
Brilliant , please keep it up!! :DAuthor's Response: Ninja-badman-Lila FTW! ;D I guess she is a ninja, in a way, haha - although i can't pretend that was the first thing that came to mind whilst I was writing her!
fambubblybumshus? coolest word ever, right there!
You know, I couldn't have summed that up better myself. Lila does think Hogwarts sucks. Well, actually, she thinks that /everything/ sucks.
Thank you so much for this review!! :D Report Review
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