Reading Reviews for The Demon Within
  
17 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Hmscherer What's Happening

19th February 2014:
See if you can't get rid f all the massive spaces if I remember correctly it only needs to be a double space but the story is god so far I'm enjoying it

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Review #2, by Brazelian The Problems With A Kiss

20th April 2013:
AHHH! This chapter was sooo good! And two updates in a row! :)
Will was so sweet at the beginning! What happened to him? He is so evil and cruel now! And the voice at the end! Poor Mia, I assume she is being crucioed at the end?
I'd have to confess that I was a little disappointed by chapter 9 because it didn't have all the action in it. But this chapter, this chapter has made up for it! Particularly with the slight cliffhanger at the end of this chapter. I can't wait for chapter 11 :)

Author's Response: Oh gosh thanks. It is my favorite so far ;) I can't say too much about what happened with Will and Mia and the voice because it would seriously spoiller the ending, and the ending, in my opinion, will be crazy! I know, Chapter 9 was kind of...yeah...mostly a filler. I haven't posted any fillers it has been pretty actiony so I think it was time for a break. Or maybe I'm just telling myself that because I was boring in that chapter and it makes me feel better...Eh oh well :) I'm glad you are liking this story though :) You are such a great reviewer!!! It makes my day when you comment.

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Review #3, by EvaLestrange A Ball of Awkwardness

9th April 2013:
omg in the last bit when albus confessed his love to mia my heart was going BOM BOM BOM.
omg i have been waiting for it for such a long time. :O
you are a great writer keep writing and good work :)

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it :) Thank you so much! That is so so sweet. You are the best :)

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Review #4, by Brazelian A Ball of Awkwardness

25th March 2013:
I really love this story is so gripping and is one of the best fanfictions that I have read!
Oh wow! That was definitely worth the wait! The red eyes and the voice! So creepy! Poor Mia! Albus and Mia will be such a cute couple!
I am looking forward to seeing what will happen in the next chapters! And also finding out more about the voice.

Author's Response: You seriously just made my day :) Thank you! The next chapter should hopefully come soon, much faster than the last. I'm glad you liked it! :)

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Review #5, by EvaLestrange Getting Together

12th February 2013:
oh its ok. you dont need to feel bad. :) you are a really good writer anyway. keep writing can't wait to hear the next!!

Author's Response: Oh thank you :) I plan to have the chapter up by the end of the weekend so hopefully you don't need to wait long

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Review #6, by Nymphadorah Getting Together

6th February 2013:
update soon.am waiting!!!

Author's Response: It's over(ish) half way. Don't worry, it will be up soon :)

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Review #7, by ines0803 Getting Together

31st January 2013:
Hi!
I'm loving Riley right now (she and Fred together are a threat to their friends. In a good way). I have a friend that is just like her! But I think that if I were Mia, I would have the same reaction.
I actually believed that Rose and Scorpious were together! I was so disappointed with them when I read this chapter! Unfortunately, I think that Mia's plan won't work.

"I did tell Riley, who is bound to tell Fred, who of course will tell Albus. Albus will then ask Scorpius about it. So yeah, basically everyone knows." I loved that and the rule #1 for entering a boy's room.

Great chapter!
Ines

Author's Response: Isn't she wonderful? A threat as in cuteness or messing with the potential relationship? They are just so clueless at times, but that is what makes them adorable :) You will find out about the results of her plan next chapter. Thank you so much :)

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Review #8, by sixteen Getting Together

30th January 2013:
TELL ME WHAT HAPPENS YOU HOBGOBLIN OF A WOMAN!! ;)

Author's Response: Sorry, you told me not to! ;)

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Review #9, by Nymphadorah Breakups

29th January 2013:
its awesome.n update as soon as u can!!

Author's Response: I did last night (: it should possibly be up today or tomorrow!

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Review #10, by EvaLestrange Breakups

28th January 2013:
keep updating please! i am dying seriously dying for the next chapter plzzz get chapter 7 out thanks sooo much. best chapter yet i cant wait to see mia's reaction when she finds out that albus likes her. one negative thing: can u reduce the enters bars there is too much space between each sentence.

Author's Response: You just made me smile :) I'm almost done with it...kinda, if half way counts as almost... I'm sorry about the spaces between them. It does that after I submit it. I'll try to reduce it as much as possible. I hate when that happens :/

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Review #11, by ines0803 Breakups

28th January 2013:
Hi!
I love your story! (I've just found it)
Honestly, I never liked Will. I always thought that there was something wrong with him. He might be under the Imperius curse as well, of course, but I doubt it.
And I love Fred! He just keeps ruining all the sweet moments! Someone will have to do that when he's with Riley.
My favorite part was when Albus and Mia were in his bedroom (of course, Fred had to go to the bathroom in that moment). It was about time that Albus had another honest talk with her (I'm trying to forget that he was drunk).
I'm worried though. I think I won't like Albus reaction when he finds out what Mia did. I'll just have to wait to see.
Rose and Scorpious are finally together! Finally!
Great story, keep updating!
Ines

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it :) We haven't seen the end of Will yet. But you will see. Fred is so much fun to write because he is just so awkward. And yes of course he did, he wouldn't be Fred if he didn't haha.
Albus wasn't too drunk, she only thought he was. But isn't it great that he is being so open with her? :) Yeah, that may be a little ehh...but it'll be okay! But for now, I can't say anymore.

The next chapter is half way done. So I will hopefully have it posted this weekend and then the validation takes ages!
Thanks for the comment :)


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Review #12, by Nymphadorah Fake Relationships

27th January 2013:
wow! nice starting...okay am am gonna read the other chapters..gotta go!!!

Author's Response: Thank you :) You made me laugh out loud!

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Review #13, by Brazelian Worst Day Ever

17th January 2013:
I love this story! And I really liked this chapter! It was very gripping and exciting and I am looking forward to reading more!
Also, I hope you are feeling better now! :)

Author's Response: Oh thank you :) you're such a sweetie! I'm so glad you like it. The next chapter will come very soon. I'm feeling loads better, thanks. Minnesota air and flu doesn't mix, learned that the hard way. Anyway, thank you for the review :)

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Review #14, by Brazelian Who is it?

3rd January 2013:
I love this story! It's really good so far and I am really looking forward to chapter five so please update soon! :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much!! Chapter 5 is waiting to be validated so hopefully it will be up soon :)

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Review #15, by AlbusPotter123456789123456789 Fake Relationships

4th September 2012:
LOVE THIS STORY!! PLZ PLZ PLZ UPDATE SOON!!!

Author's Response: Thank you so much :) I just put in the next chapter for validation. It should be up soon!

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Review #16, by LoonyTheElf Fake Relationships

3rd September 2012:
This was a good first chapter! Update soon!
Love,
Emily.

Author's Response: Thank you :) And the second chapter is almost finished, I'll post it soon!

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Review #17, by liltinglight Fake Relationships

3rd September 2012:
Hi! This was hilarious! :)

Okay... thoughts. So, first of all, Albus truly is a prick. Throughout the chapter I experienced this constant sensation of wanting to punch his face. haha. Maybe its because I'm viewing him through Mia's eyes but I didn't see at all how anyone could find him sweet. Oh, and I also loved how you made Albus the player type rather than James. Usually Albus is the sweet one. I liked the change.

Mia is awesome so far.

Rose and Scorpius are adorable. :)

I don't really know a lot about Riley yet but she seems good.

And Fred is... Oh God he's my favorite so far. haha. I literally laughed out loud at this part:
(
"There are not going to be any children now," Fred said while shaking his head sadly.



"There was never going to be any children," I said looking at my beyond mental friend.



"Not with that attitude!")

lol.

Looking forward to chapter 2! So I'm going to add another smiley (Because I clearly haven't inserted enough already.)
:)

Author's Response: Thanks :) Yeah, Albus is a sixteen year old boy, they are all like that in a way right? Don't be hating him too much, he will change :) As the story progresses I'll have more on the other characters. I'm glad you like Fred. He was fun to write in this chapter. He's just as weird in chapter two, I promise. The chapter is just about done, I'll post it by the end of the week (hopefully it will validate soon). Thanks for the amazing review !! Also, I love all your smileys :)

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