There are so many things I disapprove in this story.
1) Harry was the one who asked Cedric to take the cup with him.
2) Harry never told Cho about Cedric's death. That's one of the reasons they broke up.
I'll story there. But here's the deal. these are Cho's thoughts so whatever injustice she's doing to anyone in her mind's eye, it's perfectly fair. She has lost the love of her life and she didn't know what happened. It was a very brief relationship. She has all the right in the world to blame Harry. The fact that she likes Harry (Or liked) gives her more justice, because she's trying to drive away all these weird feelings for Harry.
My point? You've done an excellent job. I mean, you've really really gone inside Cho's head. i did find one or two typos but those can be redone easily. The real Ravenclaw in her and her inner thoughts were all perfectly portrayed. And the prompts were smoothly put in.
Well done love :)
*Hugs*Author's Response: I think you might be the only person who's truly understood the perspective of this story! I know I made a LOT of canon mistakes, but it was entirely purposeful, you're right. Cho isn't going to be thinking rationally- she isn't brave, she wants to blame everyone around her just to make herself feel better. She wants to feel self-pity and cry and do whatever it takes to be able to carry on. And yes, I had to show her Ravenclaw traits in there :D
Thanks for this review, you seemed to really understand my writing here! *also hugs* x Report Review
Oh I really like this, I didn't realise till the end that it was set in seventh year and during the second wizarding war but I do like that she was reflecting her past in a time where survival wasn't always a certainty and you would have been lucky to get out alive. It's one of those weird things, people looking back at the past in moments of crisis, and you did it really well.
I like how you made it out that she hated Harry, and I think at times she probably did, more so after fifth year but she would have hated him for surviving when Cedric could not and getting glory where for a over a year Cedric wasn't named a hero but an accident.
I also like her defence against Cedric being called a spare, it's nice to see that she defended him in her mind, that she saw him as much more then just someone who was an obstacle in a greater plan, that he was important. I also like the fact that Cho joined the DA for Cedric, became a fighter for him and fought in his name, it's nice to see and very different. :)
Overall I really liked it and it's a great story :) Great Job :)
- StephAuthor's Response: Hi Steph :D.
Cho is meant to be angry, confused and upset here. She's in the middle of a war, she's lost the boy she loved, she doesn't know how to deal with it and so she blames Harry. I think, if I were in her position, that I would as well. She's just human; it's so much easier to rant and hate others than to hate yourself.
I wasn't sure wha time period I was going to set it in until the end to be honest! I wrote this in about two hours and it was all a bit higgledy piggledy.
Thanks for reviewing!! :)
-Annon Report Review
This is fantastic! It really is a well written piece in such a short timeframe. I loved your writing here - there were some absolutely brilliant sentences. I loved all the feelings, thoughts and emotions that were conveyed, they were interesting and really felt like true reflections of Cho.
There was just once sentence I thought you could rewrite, it just sounded too messy and long to me: All because Harry had just happened to get put up against the most vicious dragonÖ alive) I'm also skeptical that Cho would know about Moody's tip for Harry. And the only other thing was I couldn't help wondering why Cho wasn't watching the greatest epic fight of all time between Voldemort and Harry? It's very hard to imagine that she wouldn't have seen that.
I did enjoy this though! A nice incorporation of the prompts as well :)
- CharlotteAuthor's Response: Hey Charlotte!
Thanks for reviewing :). I wrote this really speedily, so I'm definitely planning on going back and editing (the sentence you pointed out in particular). Most of the emotion just poured out without filtering through my head to be honest, and I know that it's quite a mishmash of conflicting emotions. I'm glad it didn't confuse you to much!!
Well, I suppose you could argue that everyone would have seen that last Voldemort-Harry fight, but we don't /know/ that for sure. And if she'd been elsewhere in the castle/grounds, it could've taken her a while to reach the Great Hall again.
Anyway, thanks for the lovely review! :D
-Annon x Report Review
Annon, this was so lovely! I don't think I've read a lot of your work which is really sad because THIS was stunning. I'm definitely adding your author's page to my reading list :P
I love all the elements going on in this. You had Cho as the girl I hate, crying over Cedric's death. You had Cho as someone strong, fighting for someone she loved. You had Cho as a proud Ravenclaw and all those elements just worked together. It was incredible. I loved the conflict and resentment in Cho. She was right when she said that Cedric was a much better wizard in a lot of ways, yet Harry had been luckier. Her twisted logic made sense in that moment, and I love an author that can do that.
This was definitely my favorite line in the story: It was a paradox that made Choís head spin, even though she was a proud Ravenclaw and usually loved mulling over concepts like that. THAT IS SO TRUE. I loved the little Ravenclaw traits you had going through this. House Pride, WOOT :D
An excellent one shot!
-NaidaAuthor's Response: Hi Naida! :3 Aw, thank you! I definitely need to catch up on some of your stories as well :D.
Reading back, I actually get a bit muddled myself at all the conflicting emotions I've put in there! Gosh, I'm surpsied you could make head or tail of the thing :P I just sort of poured out every thought I've ever had about Cho, and how she must have coped with it all, and this is what I ended up with.
Haha, yep, I had to show a bit of House Pride! W!!
Thanks for such a flattering review, you lovely person -huggles-
-Annon Report Review
I like this Cho. I find myself surprised when Iíve been reading our ĎClaw stories that I like Cho in a lot of them. Maybe what Iím liking is how much the author is putting themselves into it :P
I like that she thinks of Cedric like this, like she has to live up to his death, to ensure he isnít forgotten like it is so easy to forget. I like that she thinks she has to fight for him, to ensure that his dying was not in vain. In that way, Cho and Harry are alike. He didnít want people to think that Voldemort hadnít come back mainly so they could fight against V but also so that they didnít forget Cedric Ė that he didnít die by some accident but that he was murdered.
Choís fierce in this and Ravenclaw-ish through and through and I genuinely enjoyed reading this.
xCharAuthor's Response: Hi Char! I'm surpsied you liked this Cho actually- because I don't! She sort of blames Harry for Cedric's death deep down, and is pretty selfish.
At times, yeah, I think she's Ravenclaw-ish- but she's also a bit cowardly and pathetic :P I can't believe I'm actually insulting my own story in response to such a lovely review, but there we go. I think I made a few characterisation mistakes!
I'm so pleased you enjoyed the read, and thanks for reviewing! :3
-Annon x Report Review
Spreading some lovely Ravenclaw cheer and support!! I though that this was an interesting one shot -- what with Cho's hatred of Harry and all. And I liked the way the italic sections complimented the normal narrative... like a thought that's a bit too special to be with the rest of her story. They were artfully done, too, for the most part (the one about the portrait felt as though it disrupted the flow a bit, but not too terribly). At the end, I was surprised to see an extra scene tagged onto what one its own would have been a very powerful ending, and I'm not sure I'd have continued on. There is somehting very powerful about this line and the images it creates:
That was the moment it was all over for Cho Chang.
Anyway, I think this was a good one shot that worked the prompts in really well. W.W.W.W.W!!!Author's Response: Hi Mel!! Aw, bless you :).
Mmm, the italics weren't priginally going to be in italics, but I seem to have this weird obsession with italics and zero dialogue when I do one-shots. Ah, you're right about the portrait one- I can see that now. Thanks for pointing it out!
I might see if I can find a way to work a few of the lines from the extra scene on somewhere else then, because I liked a few of the metaphors, haha. But you're right, again :D.
Thanks for a lovely review! :3
W.W.W.W.W indeed ;D
This was a really interesting portrayal of Cho, I think. She's searing, bitter, and sad. I think that is often a trap of intelligent people, that they'd rather default to acerbity than tenderness or true pain. The hard thing about this is that the acid keeps the wound open.
The strangest thing about this story is that Cho keeps thinking that if Voldemort isn't defeated then Cedric died for nothing, but that's not true at all, and the quote that you have at the beginning of the story is proof enough of that---Cedric is an example of goodness and bravery, something Cho understands herself. Cedric's memory is still alive, at least in Cho, and certainly in Harry and Dumbledore and those others who have loved him, or thought about him at all, and I think your story is so interesting because it presents this, but at the same time, Cho doesn't think it or accept it. That's sort of mind-boggling and I'm not sure how you did it.
What I'm getting most of all out of this story is a warning against pure logic. I think that there is a depth of perception that reaches beyond logic and Cho's inability to achieve this is the true tragedy you have presented so well here. Very interesting, and creative. Great job :)Author's Response: hiya! :) that's a really perceptive comment about acerbity keeping the wounds open- and you're really right. It'd be much better to be less bitter about the past, to embrace it more. but I suppose we're all human, and it'd be pretty incredible for someone to have no care for things like this, but yes, this Cho has dealt with it by trying to pile all the guilt on Harry.
Mmm, I thought that Cho would think that Cedric had died for nothing if the cause of his death was left unresolved more than if people's memories of him were obliterated. I'm not sure how I did it either- i wrote this in such a rush for the house cup :P
Thanks so much for the review, it was a really interesting one :)
Good fic. I actually started to really dislike Cho in there, not sure if that was intentional on your part or not, but the way she blamed Harry for all of her ills. As if it had been solely his fault that all the misfortune had come. Whether you meant it or not it made it one of the best reads I've had so far. Really great to ellicit such emotion from your readers.Author's Response: Hi there! Gah, you're right. I didn't liek Cho either, she was being a selfish, cowardly brat for most of it. I probably should have made her nicer seeing as she's for my house and all :D. I'm so pleased you enjoyed this~ thanks for a lovely review!
-LWG Report Review
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