I truly enjoyed this.Your descriptions of his wand was a stroke.Good action and enjoyable introspect into the character.Author's Response: Thank you! The descriptions of his wand was a stipulation for a certain number of points in this challenge, as all participating in it had those wand details given to them, but how we went about incorporating that into the story was up to us. Thank you for reading and reviewing! Glad you enjoyed. Report Review
I absolutely loved the ending of this, it made me chuckle :')
And when you said "Even if the odds are against you" I was thinking in my mind "Neville, may the odds be ever in your favour."
Oh gosh, I'm a Tribute Potterhead through and through :3Author's Response: Yay, I'm glad you liked it! Poor Ron. XD
Now I'm having visions of Neville in the Hunger Games, running around while Peeta tries to romance him. Bahaha.
Thank you for reading and reviewing! Report Review
When I looked into my Foe Glass and saw it was you, I knew my story was in trouble. :)
Your words really painted an exciting picture with this one-shot as Neville triumphed over something that he never thought he could. I've always rooted for him. :)
And your last few lines about the spiders, I consider... PRICELESS!
Congratulations on your win for Gryffindor.
But I must say...
GO SLYTHERIN! XD
Dark WhisperAuthor's Response: I had some amazing competition. I really loved your entry. I didn't have time to review it because I was reading so many, but it was really vivid and exciting. :) I'm so happy you liked this - Neville makes himself quite easy to root for. He has a very likable personality. Heee, the spiders. XD Ron is so much fun to tease.
Thank you! And congrats on being chosen for best of Slytherin. That's a wonderful honor. :) Report Review
This story definitely won best overall (for both our house and from the staff) for good reason. It was fun, imaginative, and it works perfectly with canon. I can see this being part of their Auror training so easily, and the way you portrayed the Gryffindor boys in particular was absolutely perfect. Harry acting as though dragons are no big deal, Ron putting his foot in his mouth, Neville falling into a moment of self doubt but digging his way out of it. There was a lot of subtle, complex, and thought out characterisation, and it really pulled me into the story.
Initially, I wasn't sure what I thought about the choice to have them face a dragon as part of their training - I mean, obviously that was needed for the prompt, but I wasn't convinced that it actually made sense. Isn't that what dragon people like Charlie are for? Once I thought about it for a bit, though, I could see the logic behind it - sure, Aurors probably won't really be facing dragons all that much, but at the same time, being resourceful, quick-thinking, and brave are obviously vital parts of being an Auror, and those are all qualities that Neville certainly displayed in the fight itself - which was beautifully, beautifully done.
I have to admit that I wasn't sure how you were going to have Neville defeat a dragon all on his own and keep it plausible, but I was pleasantly surprised. Okay, maybe it was a little unrealistic, but I was pretty much sold; you were imaginative and showed him using the sorts of spells that it makes sense for an Auror trainee to know and use. It would have been out of place for him to use a stunner or something and have it work, and it also would have defeated what seems to me to be the purpose of the exercise, but you didn't fall into that trap. I especially liked the use of the Imperius Curse - that's certainly not a spell I think has been used on dragons all that frequently, and when I think about it, I doubt that most Death Eaters would even think to try it.
And along the lines of the Imperius Curse - I thought that you worked the prompts into the story really well. Using this many prompts can definitely make a story come off as awkward, but the only place I think of that I didn't feel like the prompt really fit was actually the only point where I think you didn't actually need it - the Avada Kedavra reference at the end just felt a little forced to me. Aside from that, though, everything worked really well, and this definitely felt like a story, not an entry to the challenge. If that makes any sense at all.
Now I think I'm rambling and I'm going to stop. Suffice to say, excellent story, and it has been added to my favourites. :)Author's Response: Hey, Beeezie! Thank you for reviewing! I heard that the review-a-thon was really fun and I'm disappointed I wasn't home long enough to join in. Today was my birthday. :P
Going to be totally honest here - I agree about dragons not being a super realistic thing to accompany Auror training, and I also don't think Neville would have used an Imperius Curse on a dragon if he could help it. However, keeping in mind that this is fiction based on fiction, I just wanted to have fun with this and not take it too seriously. Everyone seemed to be taking themselves so seriously in this Task, but for me to enjoy what I'm doing I need to use the prompts but not try to kill myself trying to make everything tie together in a neat little bow. So I just let the story in my head flow out naturally and didn't worry much about it, in the end. My main thing was to have fun, because regardless of points, there's no reason to write something if I'm not actively enjoying every word I write.
It's very interesting what you said about the Avada Kedavra feeling forced because that's the one thing I didn't use to fulfill a prompt! lol. I already had 'Imperio', but just wanted to use it because of the color green, to bring to mind that bolt light emanating. Excellent feedback, though! I can definitely see how that would seem like overkill.
Thanks you for reading and reviewing! Thank you for favoriting this as well, and for your kind words and thought-provoking feedback. I appreciate it greatly. :) Report Review
First off, I want to congratulate you for winning the best overall. It was truly well deserved.
You are a master when it comes to description. Everything was so wondefully detailed and written out, I could feel myself being transported into the story. Normally, that's really hard for me to do with fanfiction, but this was amazing. You have a true gift for writing.
I highly enjoyed Neville in this. He was very in character, having both that nervousness to him that we all know him to have but as well as the bravery that he proved to us all he was capable of. And oh my goodness, I loved that last line he said to Ron. Hilarious!
Excellent job and again, this really was a well deserved win.
-Camila :)Author's Response: Thank you, Camila! I'm so happy you liked the descriptions, and also Neville. I must say, I never admired Neville as much as I do now after he's been chosen as Gryffindor's champion. He's such a brave person, and so good-hearted. I'm glad I got the opportunity to write about him.
Thank you for reading and reviewing! Report Review
The thought of Neville following in his parents' footstepts and becoming and Auror is great. It is something that I can see him doing, as he really flourished in leading the DA during the Trio's absense. I do like how you included his affinity for herbology in among this as well, though :)
The line 'After a Horcrux, this ought to be a cinch' made me giggle. I really like how you have Neville reverting to his insecurity in himself, and then this. He is amazing, he just doesn't always realize that, and you show that perfectly.
Neville's use of the Imperius curse shocked me, to be honest. I think you went about it wonderfully, though. He spoke it without thinking, without really choosing to do so, and you really show that with how he recognizes that it was a foreign feeling for him.
Haha, oh my gosh. I can only imagine the look on Ron's face after Neville tells him it's a bunch of spiders.
I didn't realize the summary before your note. It was really ingenius of you to incorporate that into the story the way that you did!
Congrats on winning best overall, you really deserve it, this piece is amazing!
HufflepuffAuthor's Response: Hi there! Neville's Auror days is canon. ;) He was an Auror with Ron and Harry after school for a little while before he went on to be an Herbology professor, so that's why I used that here.
Neville's use of the Imperius curse shocked a lot of people! I'm surprised at that, I must say. Not to refute anyone's opinions, but all he did was make a dragon go to sleep. That and it was done to fulfill a prompt. But yeah, if I were writing this as something really serious and not hypothetical or anything, I probably wouldn't have made him do that.
Thank you for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Sarah! Oh my gosh, I can't believe I haven't read this yet! Well, here I am, having read, and now reviewing it! It's an amazing one-shot! Definitely deserved to be placed number one in the competition! :D
I've been on a Neville kick lately, really, and I love stories like this about him! There just simply aren't enough of them! I've always loved Neville throughout the HP series, but when he stepped up to defy Voldemort and kill Nagini, he definitely passed something in my mind. He became not the cowering boy who thought he was useless and was too afraid to try any spells, to a real hero. Which is obviously why we chose him to represent Gryffindor for the House Cup! :P What I really like most about this story is that it shows Neville even after his spectacular showdown in the final books, and that his bravery continues on even past that event. My favorite line in the entire fic? "Neville clapped a hand on Ron’s shoulder, looking grim. “Spiders, mate. Tons and tons of spiders.” This had me laughing so hard! Great ending to a supurb fic! :D
~BeccaAuthor's Response: Hey, Becca!
I agree, Neville is boss! We didn't get to see a firsthand account of his more rebellious acts because Harry, Ron, and Hermione were on the run and we saw everything from Harry's POV, but it would've been so interesting to catch a glimpse of Neville defying the Carrows. At least we got to see him come into his own near the end, at the Battle! He's really an admirable person. :) I can't think of a worthier champion.
Thank you for reading and reviewing! I'm so glad you liked it. Report Review
I read this a little bit ago and have only now been able to leave a review! :P
I think this has been said earlier but this was written so well and so not like it was a “Task One Challenge” that I can understand why you beat out the other stories! (And that stings my ‘Claw pride just a tad bit :P )
What I liked most about this was that Neville Longbottom had a character arc to him in just under 2500 words. He realized that he could actually do something, could overcome adversity in his own way and not mess it up. I think the one thing that he had troubling him growing up (pre-Nagini) was the fact that he’d mess up, fall on his face or utterly fail on anything not relating to Herbology. So for him to see that he could actually face a dragon and get his mission accomplished, I can see how that changed him.
I absolutely loved the fact that he tickled his dragon! That is so brilliant and speaks, at least to me, how he’ll handle his Auror duties in the future. He won’t be one of those men who “shoot first, ask questions later” but he’ll actually be working for the greatest good and not to show his own power and might.
And how adorable was it that Neville thought of his grammy in producing his Patronus? ♥ That was SUCH extra love. So was the ending with Ron! :)
Post-Hogwarts Neville has always interested me because I like seeing how he’s matured now that he’s found his own inner strength and I think you showcased that well here!
xCharAuthor's Response: Hi there, Charlotte!
I love, love, love what you said about how Neville won't be one of those "shoot first, ask questions later" sort of people. I think that he tackles things differently than most. Where some would have seen the dragon and immediately thought to hurt it somehow in order to get past, Neville's first response was to tickle it. That says a lot about what I wanted to highlight in his personality. Just because it's a dragon doesn't mean it's not worthy of kind treatment; so rather than fight it, he just made it take a nice long nap. ^ ^
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Ah, another great story by the wonderful Toujours Padfoot! Your story had me sitting on the edge of my seat, but also laughing as well. I liked how you showed that Harry was really brave, going in without a second glance and then you made Ron and Neville all nervous as he did it. It showed that you really stuck to their characterization. When Neville went into the room, I started to get kind of nervous. Even though I'm a big canon fan, I liked that you made him want to become an auror like his parents. He really can be pretty brave at times and you showed that a lot through your story. The whole battle with the dragon made me laugh. Why didn't Harry make it that easy? Neville did it so well and I thought you did a good job with that scene :) I loved at the end how you had Neville make Ron all nervous by telling him if was a bunch of spiders in there. I seriously busted out laughing at that! :p You did a good job incorporating everything into your story and I'm glad you were the one who won it for Gryffindor(: It was a very deserving story! :D
-AmandaAuthor's Response: Baww, Amanda, you leave such lovely reviews. How can I ever thank you?
Bahaha, Harry, putting on a show and strutting around because he defeated Voldemort and now everything else is easy peasy. I think he might've been bluffing just a bit. ^ ^ Oooh, but Auror Neville /is/ canon! Yep, JKR said that before he became an Herbology professor, Neville was an Auror with Ron and Harry. That's where I got the idea of this from.
Neville teasing Ron about the spiders was my favorite bit to write. :) So glad you liked it, and thank you so much!! I'm still flabbergasted that I won. I didn't expect to get more than the points for contributing to ten Gryffindor entries. I just wrote this for those points and for the fun of it, and am very pleasantly surprised at the outcome!
- Sarah Report Review
I just love Neville, so it was exciting to read a story about him and his brief stint as an Auror.
I thought you captured him especially well at the beginning when he was doubting himself and his abilities, especially as compared to Ron and Harry, but managed to remind himself of how awesome he is, and went out and proved it again.
I have to wonder, is an unforgivable curse allowed in auror training? Does it make a difference that he was using it against a magical creature as opposed to another witch or wizard? Just a thought.
I thought this story was really creative, and you did a good job of utilizing the prompts without making them seem forced. The ending made me laugh out loud. Really well done :)Author's Response: Hi, Singularity! Thank you for stopping by to read and review. :)
Hmm, I don't think an Unforgivable Curse is really taboo in something as serious and hardcore as Auror training. Essentially, they /are/ Dark wizard catchers, so they've got to be prepared to use whatever spell possible to apprehend the bad guys. But in this instance, using Imperio to make the dragon fall asleep is pretty harmless.
I'm glad you liked the way I used the prompts, and thank you for calling it creative! That's so reassuring to hear. :) And ha, the ending was my very favorite bit. ^ ^ Report Review
Hi there! What a great answer to the Task One prompt. :) All the stories chosen for best overall have been really great, although I have to admit--even though it goes against my Ravenclaw pride!--that I think yours offered the most seamless integration of all the prompts. It was very clearly a story that goes from point A to B, and the prompts were relevant along the way. So, great job on that!
The last line was priceless. :D I loved that Neville turned things around on Ron--it showed a nice bit of character development in less than 2500 words.Author's Response: Hi, Penny! Yayyy, I'm so thrilled you like this! Especially since you're a Ravenclaw and Ravenclaw pulled out all the stops on this one. I got so intimidated reading all their task one entries because they've got some truly brilliant pieces in there.
I felt a bit nervous about this story after reading a bunch of other entries because I realized mine was so straight-forward in comparison to a few of the more creative interpretations; so it's reassuring to hear that that might not be such a bad thing! I really loved writing about Neville squaring off against a dragon, warring between the confidence he's earned and the hesitance that's been so deeply ingrained in him since he was young.
Thank you for reading and reviewing! Report Review
that was amazing! i love it! you included all of the prompts into the story so easily and i loved the way you written it. that was great!
Go Gryffindors! We really have some of the best stories! heheAuthor's Response: Thank you so much! And Gryffindor's got a lot of fabulous stories. I've got a lot of pride for the scarlet and gold. :) :)
Thank you for reading! Report Review
A fellow Gryffie here, and oh my gosh YES!
I absolutely loved this entry. It's so original, and funny. You've tied all the prompts in effortlessly and your description is flawless and interesting. I really loved your characterization of Neville- the bit about his gran's pride was particularly touching.
Well done!Author's Response: Thank you!! That means so much to me, I can't even tell you. It's like you took all the things I was worried about and told me I did them all right. :) Thank you. Report Review
Sarahhh I loved this. Like, adored it. Because there are more characters than just Neville and the dragon, because it's smart and straightforward and full of awesome in so many ways. Mostly in that you didn't go for the easy way out, and you certainly incorporated all the prompts seamlessly. This could have been an ordinary one-shot (although nothing you write ever strikes me as ordinary), it was so well put together and cohesive and stuff. The one thing that really shocked me, though, was Neville using Imperius on the dragon. I know that it's not illegal on animals and such, but... I don't know, it didn't seem like Neville. That may just be me talking, though, and I am by no means a Neville expert. He's a very difficult character to get right, because it's easy to overplay his wallflower-y tendencies and/or easy to ramp up the awesome factor (this is something I think the movies did and that makes me keyboard smash a lot), and that's when Neville becomes... more a creature of fanon than canon, if that makes sense; that's when I get taken out of the story, and it's that danger that makes me wary of Neville fics. But all that said, your Neville is courageous and awesome but not in overbearing ways, and he's a shrinking violet in a very human way, and Neville is best as a human instead of a caricature. So (cough word vomit cough) -- I adored this. So charming and action-packed and well-characterized and "Tons and tons of spiders." :)Author's Response: HIII GUBBY. ♥
It seems that I cannot write Neville without Ron butting his head in somewhere, being clueless and fun. And ha, yes, this is rather straightforward in comparison to a lot of the other entries. If I'd taken a while to sit on the challenge before writing it, reading the other entries, I might have tried to do something more creative. As it was, I logged on and read the challenge, and immediately started writing. Didn't go back to the forums until I'd posted it.
Fair point about Neville. I suppose my only argument is that Neville was only using the curse to make the dragon sleep, so it wasn't anything malicious; but basically, I just needed a way to use the Unforgivable Curse prompt. I didn't want to take myself too seriously in this fic (hence him tickling a dragon), so I just went with it.
I find Neville to be such an awesome character because in the first six books he was so hesitant and had so many reservations, but in the absence of Harry's defiance, he really came into his own - reviving Dumbledore's Army, trying to steal the sword from Snape's office, sneaking out and graffiti-ing things. So I dunno if he would still really have all of those wallflower tendencies at this stage of his life. The war really changes people, and after a year of standing up to Death Eaters and fighting, proving himself to be a hero, I'm not sure if the fanon interpretation isn't canon, as well. XD
Bahaha, spiders. Poor Ron. I am forever making him the brunt of someone else's joke. He's just primed for it, really.
Thank you bunches for stopping by to read this and review! I always love hearing your feedback - it gets my brain thinking.
♥ Report Review
I am so in love with your writing. I'm in awe of how perfectly you do everything. I absolutely LOVED this one shot and everything in it. Neville was characterized so well; I loved how he felt like he was in canon, but still older and different enough to show that he's not the same boy. And what an interesting challenge for an auror to face! It made sense, though, I suppose :P Neville's methods to deal with the dragon had me laughing, I will admit. I don't think it's /ever/ crossed my mind to use rictumsempra on a dragon. OMG I JUST GOT THE SUMMARY. WHOA LIGHTBULB MOMENT xD THAT'S SO GENIUS. I LOVE YOU EVEN MORE NOW. AHAHAHAHA I'M LAUGHING EVEN HARDER NOW THAT IS SO AMAZING.
*cough* I mean...that was really cool. Anyways, I've always loved Neville and I like that he was powerful in this. Showed that he did learn from the Battle and he did change and my inner fangirl was happy ♥ Your description, as always, was flawless even in something with as much action in so few words like this.
You are absolutely incredible. Amazing job!
-NaidaAuthor's Response: Hi, Naida! I know that Ravenclaw's got loads of fantastic entries, so I appreciate you taking the extra time to read/review something from Gryffindor!
Hee, I'm pleased you enjoyed Neville's reaction to the dragon. Lol, the first thing he tries is tickling it. -shakes head- Aside from the blue fire and smoke and all that, a laughing, squirming dragon would be an interesting sight to behold. Hee, that summary inspired the whole story! I was so excited to be able to take Hogwarts' motto and make it something literal.
Oh my goodness, this review. You're so kind and encouraging. Thank you so much for reading this! ♥ Report Review
THIS IS BRILLIANT!
I love this so much! I can't even put into words how fabulous I think this story is. Neville in auror training is brilliant in most stories but I've never seen a story in which he has to face dragons and I think it is really unique that you chose to tackle the challenge in this way.
The final two sentences made me laugh though and showed me that Neville still had his sense of humour even after battling something like a dragon! Telling Ron hes facing spiders. WellAuthor's Response: Hi there!! Eee, thank you so much!!
I like to think that Auror training forces them through every possible scenario they might encounter, and this one was more of an action-y sort of scenario, and it was more about successfully conquering your objective (getting past the dragon, taking the portkey) instead of fighting against the more vicious elements in Dark magic. It was such fun to think about!
Bahaha, Neville is so upbeat that not even a dragon can put a damper on his mood.
Thank you for reading and reviewing! Report Review
You left me totally speechless! I can't even being to tell you HOW vivid and colourful your description is. From the whole dragon scene, through the converging Dementors to Neville returning victorious it was impossible not to imagine every single detail you filled the story with. Lovely!
The scenario you thought for this story and the way you fitted all the prompts in was incredibly ingenious. Absolutely none of them felt crammed just for the sake of having them. I just love reading action/adventure stories and yours was filled with that. Beginning to the end. So you just made my day happier :D
A great pleasure to read this entry!Author's Response: Hello there! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. :)
I really enjoyed writing the dragon scene. I wanted to make it sort of lighthearted because dragons usually bring violence to mind, with sword-wielding and all that, so it was amusing for me to make a dragon laugh. I think Neville would've preferred a more harmless approach, as well. And then the dementors...eek. I think I would've been more like Harry in that situation and fallen off my broom, but Neville handled it like a pro. ^ ^
Thank you so much for your lovely review! Report Review
Accio Dragon. Accio Dragon? Oh. My. Gosh. This had so many really, really funny parts. You have a wonderful and sense of humor, the kind that involves witty humor as opposed to pointless.
You did such a great job with imagery, this entire story felt very real because of it. And the way you incorporated the prompts, THANK YOU! You made them part of the story, instead of just sticking them where they'd fit. It was perfect.
I don't think I'll ever be able to get the image of Neville raising a massive dragon into the air. And the fact that he surprised himself with nearly everything he did, was perfect!
You are a wonderful writer, and I am so happy that I finally was able to read your entry!
PS: The ending. ahahhah! Poor Ron. I couldn't figure out if Neville was just trying to tease him, or decided if he set him up to believe it was his worst fear, maybe a dragon wouldn't seem so bad?
Great writing, darling! I really need to get started on one of your novels. If you want to pressure me into it with some review requests, I wouldn't mind ;)! Otherwise, I will make it over here soon, I promise!
Jami (PS: Go Gryffindor!)Author's Response: Hi, Jami!
Aww yay, I'm so glad you enjoyed this. :) I had a lot of fun writing it.
I think that one of the best things about Neville is that once he discovered he could be as defiant as Harry, and a leader and a revolutionary, there was no stopping him. He really came into his own. It was fun for me to portray him after the war died down a bit and his bravery wasn't fueled by adrenaline/battle anymore. It has to come from somewhere else now - memories and willpower and all that. Therefore it's a challenge for him, but he gets there in the end. :)
Haha, at the time of writing this I figured that it was just Neville teasing Ron about the spiders, but it would be very Neville-ish if he'd just said it to make Ron prepare for the worst, and that way he'd end up doing better than expected.
Oooh, that would be awesome if you read one of my novels! But no rush - they're not going anywhere. ^ ^
Thank you for reading and reviewing! Gryffindor ftw! Report Review
Hey there! I think this story was very well thought, and written cleverly as well. You manages to integrate the prompts smoothly. Great job!
Go Gryffindor!Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so pleased you liked it. :) I was nervous that the prompts would stick out, so that's reassuring to hear.
:) Report Review
I think I laughed out loud at like seventeen parts of this story. Leave it to Neville Longbottom to disobey Hogwarts' one and only cut-and-dry rule! And "Accio Dragon" had me in fits. Neville is hilarious, and your intelligent humour is clear to be seen in this energetic one-shot.
The hyperbole of this and Neville's adorableness were such a wonderful combination. Neville getting the door that looks like death and then there are tulips and cottages on the other side. OFC. And his infallible logic flip-flopping all over the place--but the blast-ended skrewts, I can't! Oh, wait, I destroyed a horcrux, this is going to be a piece of cake. He's so lovable and very, very canon. I can easily imagine JKR's Neville growing up and being the Neville you present here.
The imagery here is superb. I had a really entertaining and clear understanding of what was happening spatially, which has been a real problem in some of the other HC entries. SO BRAVO SARAH, BRAVO.
Also, the prompts, you responded to them perfectly! None of them felt out of place and if they could have seemed that way, you manipulated that to your favor, such as Neville realizing that the other four uses for Dragon blood weren't helpful to him. That was the move of a talented and sneaky author, ayayaya.
As usual I am super impressed; this is very smart and very entertaining and very, very good writing. I am excited for all the things and proud of you, etc etc ♥Author's Response: LILY ♥
Door of doom = tulips and greenery, natch. I like to imagine that Ron's door opened up into a lake of lava that he had to zip-line over, and maybe Harry's mission was being on a panel of judges that had to vote on dragons engaged in a hot dog eating contest, which they cooked themselves with their nose flames.
Neville's wavering confidence, baww. He forgets how awesome he is sometimes. It's easy to forget just how much he changed since his younger days, since we didn't get to witness him throughout his seventh year at Hogwarts, but he did some daring stuff, defying the Death Eaters in any way he knew how. I HAVE SO MUCH LOFF FOR HIM. ♥
YAY BRAVO. I SHALL TAKE MY BRAVO AND WEAR IT LIKE DIAMONDS~
lol the prompts. It's so hard to make them inconspicuous. And the more entries I read, the more conspicuous they become until all I see are Sleeping Draughts and Crucio and wand cores screaming at me, waving their arms in the air like they just don't care.
Lily you are tops, and my jaw is still slack from your Cho one-shot so it's extra YAYAYAY on this end of the screen because you ~liked it~ and YAYAYAY SOME MORE. ♥ Report Review
Hello, fellow Gryffie! I'm here to read and review your entry for the House Cup Task 1. And what an amazing entry it is!
So often in fan fic, people forget that Neville was an Auror for a time, so I thought it was terrific that you used that part of his life in your story. Your characterization of Neville was great. He's still plagued by a certain amount of self-doubt, but he's also able to remind himself of how far he's come and pull himself out of it.
Having him tickle the sleeping dragon was really clever. It flew right in the face of the Hogwarts motto and didn't turn out to be such a great decision. But Neville is able to recover and eventually find the correct approach. In the course of this part, I thought that you incorporated your prompts really well. Nothing felt forced or gratuitous.
Once he enters the cave, things grew a little darker and more ominous, which I thought was a nice progression. The empty room full of dementors was a frightening spectacle. If there was one thing in the whole story that felt like a bit of a stretch, it was transfiguring a rock into a broomstick. I think that would have read a little more smoothly if he'd been able to find something wooden, perhaps a tree root. Not a big deal, but it stuck out.
Neville's closing line to Ron was priceless.
Your writing was terrific. Everything flowed really smoothly and I didn't see any typos or spelling mistakes. Your descriptions were vivid and it was easy to visualize everything Neville was experiencing. Given the tight timeline, I thought this was an amazing piece of work!Author's Response: Hey, CambAngst! It's so nice of you to stop by and read this!
I think that Neville's disposition is much better-suited for a quiet life of teaching Herbology, but I imagine that in his time as an Auror he would have been just as capable as all the others. He got pretty feisty in his Deathly Hallow days, after all, so this is not the same Neville Longbottom we saw losing his toad on the train back in first year.
I'm glad you liked Neville tickling the sleeping dragon. XD After I read the prompts, I flitted through several plot ideas but kept coming back to Hogwarts' motto, and thought it would be fun to actually use that in a literal sense.
I appreciate your feedback on the transfigured rock, and I think you're right. I rushed a bit quickly through that part; after your review I went back and changed it so that Neville kept the twig he stepped on in front of the dragon's lair, putting it into his pocket, and that's what he uses to transfigure into a broomstick. A bit more of realistic, I hope!
Thank you for your awesome review. Gryffindor ftw. :) Report Review
Naturally, that would be the one they gave to Neville. -- Lulz, poor Neville! Oh, you give him so much justice in this story. You really, really do. I am seething with jealousy because writing something like this would never have even crossed my mind, Cho or not, and you've seriously done such a great job with the prompts you've been given. You wrote them in so naturally -- SO naturally -- and you've done such great credit to your House with this.
Ron was TOPS, by the way. Have to throw that in there before I forget. :D But this is just the sort of thing you do -- you're so inventive, in whatever you write. I was grinning so much at the battle with the Short-Snout, and (probably because I wasn't covered in soot) I found the tickling scene so amusing, because I could see it immensely clearly in my head. I think my favorite part was how you incorporated the uses of dragon's blood, though; that's just something Neville would think, and I just... it's so him. I am in awe.
This review is massive suckage, but basically what I am trying to say is that I loved this. You can write anything and do it so, so well, and it's such an amazing gift. This was fantastic -- you really, really know your stuff! ♥
Gahh. Love.Author's Response: Don't you dare talk about seething with jealousy because your Cho fic made me green. Like, Wicked Witch of the West green.
I LOVE GRYFFINDOR, CAN I JUST SAY. I remember when I first heard of Pottermore sorting and I legit thought to myself about how disappointed people would be when they didn't get into Gryffindor. Seriously, it did not cross my mind that some people wouldn't /want/ to be in Gryffindor. WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO BE IN GRYFFINDOR? HARRY IS IN GRYFFINDOR. I was like...lol, poor saps, some of you are going to have to be divvied up into other Houses to make it even. Ya'll can just slum it while I party it up in my scarlet and gold~
If anyone's going to tickle a sleeping dragon and get away with it, I think it's Neville. Neville is so boss. And yayy you liked the dragon's blood, too! (hug) I was a bit worried that it would stick out like a sore thumb because so many people are going to have dragon's blood mentions in their entries and it'll just be so noticeable after reading them over and over, and I just can't stop rambling, can I.
U DA BEST~ ♥ Report Review
You turned Hogwarts' motto into a action-packed Neville-rific one-shot. HOW DO YOU DO THESE THINGS THAT YOU DO? HOW DO YOU DO THESE THINGS? This was brilliant. End of story.
You wove the prompts into this story so seamlessly, it feels like the prompts were an after thought. So, so well done. It was good fun to see Neville in the midst of his auror traing and even more fun to imagine him tickling and dragon and summoning it up a hill. lololol. Gah. Sarah. I literally don't know what else to say, but you can be assured that I'll probably reread this again in the future because it was so fun and magical and lovely.
xoxoAuthor's Response: HEY MEL, WHAT UP.
Neville-riffic, lol. SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT. I feel a little blergh because I didn't think outside the box whatsoever on this, while you and Rachel and several others made inventive, creative interpretations with the prompts we were given. But I'm glad you liked my attempts. :)
THAT'S A RELIEF TO HEAR, BECAUSE I THOUGHT THEY LOOKED TOO OBVIOUS.
I think that if I had a wand, I would be levitating all the things. Everyone I passed would end up floating. I can just see myself hiding on a roof somewhere, pointing at people and making them walk into each other and forcing them to dance and fly around and whatnot. This is why I never got my letter, see. Dumbles knows I am 2 hot 2 handle.
♥ Report Review
Oh I love that lat line. It is always fun to play on Ron's fears. Really nice work. A good solid fic, loved the setting, Auror Training is one of my favorite reads. Always nice to see what others think the gruelling training would be. Nice work on the prompts too, they all fit nicely. I am so glad to be in with these Gryffindors. A really imaginative bunch.Author's Response: Ron's one of my favorites, so I couldn't resist including him. I've always been interested in Aurors, like a lot of people, and it's fun to imagine what their training might be like.
Gryffindors are pretty awesome. Definitely proud to be one. :)
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I have to give you a round of applause at the fact that you were able to use all the prompts without the story feeling crowded or over worked. I really enjoyed this story. I liked how you described the fight Neville had with the dragon and the way you were able to convey how Neville was feeling the whole time. I felt that the whole story was well balanced and paced perfectly.
You did an amazing job.Author's Response: Thank you!! I was a bit worried at how this would turn out, because I imagine that after reading a bunch of stories featuring mostly the same prompts, they would become really easy to spot and therefore stick out like a sore thumb. I tried to make them blend into the story as much as possible, so it's reassuring to hear that it wasn't crowded or over worked. :) Thank you for your lovely feedback, and for reading and reviewing!
Gryffindor ftw Report Review
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