Reading Reviews for Fleeting
29 Reviews Found

Review #1, by SereneChaos Sunlight

15th July 2013:
OH MY GOSH! What a brilliantly written drabble. I think you did a fantastic job highlighting how Neville and Hannah's relationship progressed, and am doubly impressed by the fact that you did it in so few words. The little details (such as Neville spending a year drinking substandard coffee) really make the story come alive and make it unique to you, the author. I especially loved how subtle you were about some of the other things (such as Neville rolling over with a velvet box in hand) without having to explicitly tell us what happened. This was so sweet! Good work!

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for coming by!

I really love my details, and they were kind of the focus of this story. It was interesting to play with the imagery of sunlight and morning, too. I didn't want to blatantly write a proposal story but just kind of hint at Neville and Hannah having a nice life together after the war. Obviously, there's much more about them that's still left to tell :) I'm glad you enjoyed this drabble, though!

Thanks for your kind review!


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Review #2, by ImagineHarmony Sunlight

15th July 2013:

This is a beautiful, heartwarming one-shot. I was totally going all 'NEVILLE/HANNAH! NEVILLE/HANNAH!' - the description and imagery was just beautiful and the reasoning and such behind it drove me insanely mad (and happy!) Very, very real! The third paragraph oh, it was so lovely.

And then in the last part where Hannah feels he's leaving, it's just a bit sad! And panicky, and then the cutest thing ever happens and she sees a box. FEELS.

This is really good! A lovely Neville/Hannah one-shot!

Author's Response: Hey!

Thanks! The focus of this piece was really the warm imagery and I tried to keep things simple. Neville/Hannah is a cute pairing and I felt good giving them a happy life together after the war.

Thanks for your lovely review :)


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Review #3, by ValWitch21 Sunlight

14th March 2013:
Okay. I had so many options to pick from, but I chose this, and now I'm really glad I did because I'm a sucker for Hannah/Neville and this was so perfect. If you ever decide to write something longer about these two you need to tell me, okay?

Now. Your Hannah. I can't even begin to describe how much I adore her characterisation. All the little details you put in, like the fact that she's appreciated by Augusta; still has little habits from the war, like not wanting to stay alone; or is surprised that she owns a pub -- those added to her brilliant portrayal smoothly and beautifully.

Okay now moving onto Neville, that is one of the best portrayals ever of him as an adult and he doesn't even talk. He is unexpectedly normal Yes. There are so many stories where Neville suddenly morphs into a confident, sometimes even arrogant person, and with you, well, he doesn't: he's not physically perfect, he's still a bit shuffling and awkward, he didn't get a big head. THANK YOU. &hearts

I think I'm just going to go and fill up on more of your writing now. Annnd I still need to review the other chapters of The Middle Man.

Author's Response: Hi Val! Thanks for the swap! You definitely didn't have to do multiple reviews, but I really appreciate it. I always love your feedback.

I don't currently have plans to write anything focused directly on Neville and Hannah, but I definitely will let you know if it happens. I do have vague plans to do a post-Hogwarts novel after I finish both Diamonds into Coal and Post Scriptum, so I can see including some Neville/Hannah in that along with the other canon ships. I'll keep you updated on it :)

We know so little about Hannah, so I had fun getting to know her and just playing with her personality. She seems like the kind of nice, normal girl that would be good for Neville, especially following his wartime experience.

Agreed about Neville--I think his awkwardness and genuine nature is what I love about him. He's a reminder that ordinary, flawed people can do extraordinary things, and also that you should never judge a book by its cover. To try to make him into some kind of superhero robs him of what I consider the best parts of his personality. I'm glad we see eye to eye.

Thanks for this fabulous review, Val :)


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Review #4, by 800 words of heaven Sunlight

12th March 2013:
Hello from the review tag!

So I've been steadily reviewing my way through Post Scriptum, so I thought I'd give something else written by you a shot!

I've mentioned how much I love your description before, and I think you mentioned back that you sometimes go overboard with it. I still love the descriptive bits in this - they were very vivid and visual, but at least in the first paragraph, I thought it was just a smidgen excessive. Perhaps because all the things that were described all revolved around visual stimuli, rather than other senses (I think that might be the case - but this may just be me being incredibly narrow and only seeing description visually) as well?

Can I just say that I adore the way you've written these two? They are a seriously underrated couple, partly because there was no romance between them in the books, and partly because a lot of the fans want to ship Neville with Luna, but I think you've written them beautifully here. Something that's often missing in romance fanfics is that sometimes, romance can be seriously ordinary. You don't always have to go slay a metaphorical dragon, or play hard to get or whatever. And I think, especially after the craziness of war that both of them went through, giving Neville and Hannah a normal romance is just a nice way of showing things going back to normal.

And that last paragraph with the little box - I think I screamed in delight. I'm just a sucker for weddings like that!

Author's Response: Hi there! Nice to see you again!

I'm afraid my muse is to blame for going description-overload with this one-shot. I really wanted it to be muted and personal and very much about Hannah's senses and perceptions. While I don't think I will go back and take any of the imagery out of this piece, I will definitely take your advice about looking for ways to insert non-visual imagery into my other work. That's a really excellent suggestion and I hadn't thought much about it before.

I kind of get the Neville/Luna ship, but I do see Neville as wanting to settle down after his little bit of heroism in the war, and Hannah seems like the kind of nice, normal girl who would be perfect for that. It's great that you liked their normalcy and the way I cast a little bit of brief, faint light on their romance here. I really had fun trying them out.

Thanks so much for this lovely review :)


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Review #5, by Dezire_427 Sunlight

26th February 2013:

I must say, I rarely ever read Neville/Hannah stories, and even though it was short, it was so beautifully written. The emotions and fluffin this made me smile, like the winter sunlight makes you all warm and fuzzy inside. Excellent work. I can certainly see why it was a Dobby finalist!


Author's Response: Hi Akansha! I'm really glad you enjoyed this even without being a huge Neville/Hannah fan. It's great that you liked the imagery and emotion. It was really light and fun to write.

Thanks for your kind review :)


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Review #6, by EverDiggory Sunlight

3rd October 2012:
This was so beautifully written! And adorable! I am so impressed with this! I swear I forget just how amazing your writing is then I come back and read more of your stuff and its like getting hit with a semi truck! Your writing is just so beautiful and truly awing.



Author's Response: Hello again!

You're so sweet, thank you! I'm glad you liked this!

Thanks again for this kind review!


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Review #7, by slytherinchica08 Sunlight

19th August 2012:
OH I loved this! I loved the narration of this story as it was different from what I have normally read. I think you did a wonderul job with Hannah and thought she was very sweet in wishing for the night to not end so she would not have to part with Neville. You did a great job with such a short piece to get her emotions across and also telling us a story, that gives us extra information, such as how long the pub has been hers and such. I thought it was all very sweet and well written. I loved your ending with the small mentions of a white velvet box which only makes me think that he is going to propose to her which is just so cute and sweet that he would do so before he has to go back to Hogwarts. Really this was a great oneshot! Great Job!


Author's Response: Hello, thanks for coming by!

I'm so glad you liked this! I don't write much fluff, so it was nice to get away from my usual dark subject matter and try something light and fun. I've also wanted to write Neville/Hannah for a while now, and this challenge presented a nice opportunity to try that out. It's great that you liked the emotion and the ending with the proposal, too :)

Thanks for your sweet review!


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Review #8, by Siriuslover177 Sunlight

26th July 2012:
Wow, I absolutely love the emotion, and description you put into this story, despite only being 500 words. It broke my heart, when she said how he had to leave so early, and how she doesn't like it. Also, the part about Neville not always being a man, or not always being the one who helped win the war, I loved that you added that into there, because it gave the story a great feel I believe.
Also, the end, "Oh Neville. I am your savior, too" I loved that line so much. Great touch.
I loved it, and great job getting it to 500 words, nice job.


Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for coming by :)

I'm glad you felt like this story "packed a punch" even with its brevity. I definitely do view Neville as a normal guy, despite his recent claims to fame, and I think Hannah would love that about him as well. I'm happy that you liked the ending of this piece, too.

Thanks for your very kind review!


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Review #9, by I_trusted_Snape13 Sunlight

18th July 2012:
Awh, this was so cute! (:
I love Neville stories and I really liked this! Was this told by Hannah Abbott? I wasn't quite sure, but that's what I thought :p I liked the fact that this was told my her, without a bunch of dialogue and words. It was quite beautiful. I love the description and the way you told their story so simply. Really great job, I loved it. (:

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for coming by! (I apologize for having neglected Unforgiven, by the way - my time is just so limited. I hope I'll get a chance to catch up one day.)

I'm glad that you liked this, and I'm sorry for any confusion about Hannah - you're the second reviewer to mention not being sure of her identity, so maybe I need to mention that in the summary. I was definitely going for a simple, sweet feel here, and it sounds like that's what came across, so that's great! :)

Thanks so much for your very kind review :)


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Review #10, by kalkay Sunlight

18th July 2012:
This story is just lovely. I can picture the scene in perfect light and the only thing I want to know is who the girl is. Maybe I missed that but it doesn't matter. I love how just purely innocent this piece seems and how the girl is still having issues adapting to the fact that she's not in school because I know exactly how that feels! Great story! Thank you for sharing it. :)

Author's Response: Hey! Oh, sorry, perhaps I should have made it clearer that this is supposed to be Hannah. I'm glad it had an innocent feel, because that's precisely what I intended.

Thanks for your kind review :)


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Review #11, by slytherangoddess Sunlight

18th July 2012:
This was beautiful. Your details were sensory-filling and I could just see that little room where they were sleeping.

I loved the fact that the ring box was white. So often its black or maroon or some deep colour. The choice in making it white brings out the lightness of the piece. Everything is sunshine, her life is beautiful, and darkness no longer settles over them.

This was an amazing piece!!


*this review is a thanks for keeping such awesome order in the common room! And I'm glad I read it, you have some great talent!!

Author's Response: Oh, thank you, SG! (I'm really trying to use my math skills to help out my fellow Snakes!) I don't even know if I paid all that much attention to the color of the ring box when I wrote this, but I think it's neat that you found meaning in it.

Thanks for your very kind review :)


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Review #12, by teamdobby Sunlight

18th July 2012:
This story is beautiful. It just captures the love between Hannah and Neville brilliantly, showing that they are both quite easy going people and therefore they are perfect for each other. I think this story has convinced me of Neville/Hannah! :)

Your description, flow and grammar is perfect. I can't believe it is only 500 words as you gave so much information. Thumbs up for this fantastic one shot :D

Author's Response: Hi there!

I'm glad you liked this story and felt like it had an easy feel to it. That's just what I wanted! I don't write Hannah/Neville a lot, but this piece was really fun and I might return to them later. I'm happy that you felt like this was "full" despite its brief length.

Thanks for this lovely review :)


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Review #13, by Maybe Sunlight

18th July 2012:
Aw, so sweet. I really love how Neville was portrayed in this one-shot: "unexpectedly normal." Just ordinary Neville. I think it's very easy to make Neville into this war hero who is so idolised and, while I think he deserves his glory, we have to remember that Neville is still Neville. The references you made to him asking Hannah to the Yule Ball and reading about the Founders and drinking the substandard coffee just screams classic Neville and it brings home how the war hasn't changed him at his core. I thought this was really lovely, especially the fact that Hannah is Neville's saviour too.


Author's Response: Hey!

I'm glad you liked the ordinary feel here, because that's exactly what I was going for. I imagine that if anyone were to fall easily into a "normal" life following the second war, it would be Neville, and I'm glad he and Hannah can have a few moments of peace now. It's lovely that you liked his characterization :)

Thanks for this sweet review!


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Review #14, by adluvshp Sunlight

18th July 2012:
Aww this was such a sweet little story. At first I couldn't quite understand who was who, but towards the end, I understood. I absolutely love the second paragraph of the story where you describe Neville. That is just so sweet. I really like how they're each other's saviours. I think that's a beautiful reference too. The 'flashbacks' into how Neville and she first got together were a nice touch to the story too.
I really liked this story, it was short and sweet, and a cute snippet into their lives.
Your writing was perfect as always, with great flow and pace, and no grammatical errors!
Good job!

Slytherin for the Cup 2012!

Author's Response: Hey AD!

I'm really glad you liked this little one-shot! I really tried to convey the simplicity of Hannah and Neville's relationship (as I see it) and the way that they 'save' each other in little ways every day. I'm also glad that you liked the little bit of background there to give context to their relationship. I tried not to overdo it!

Thanks for this very kind review :)


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Review #15, by Jchrissy Sunlight

16th July 2012:
Okay, I had already read this for review tag then someone tagged you before I was able to say I was Reading and reviewing. Anyway, I still wanted to leave this review, so here I am :).

You have completely mastered first person. And you stay consistent in your tenses, very good job!

This piece is entirely created on emotion and imagery. Something that could get boring if it wasn't written by such talented fingers.

This was far from boring, it was a very fluent and poetic piece that gives us a really good amount of information without it ever feeling like we doing anything but basking in their love.

I know when they started dating (roughly), I know that Hannah already owns the pub, they're engaged, she has a 7th year from Hogwarts working for her... just all these details that you let me discover through the beautiful pictures you pain.

I am quickly learning to like Neville and Hannah, and if I hadn't already began to then this one shot would have forced me to love them with the gentle yet fierce love she feels.

I like the idea that they are each others saviors, I think it speaks volumes for their characters.

I wish I could do more than give you gushy sentences, but I really love this and can't do much analyzing when my heart feels so happy and full thanks to this wonderful 500 word challenge (amazing use of those words, by the way)!

Amazing as always, darling!


Author's Response: It's so sweet of you to come by, Jami, even though you didn't actually get to tag me :)

This piece was definitely meant to be more poetic than plot-driven, like many of my one-shots, and I'm glad that the information still came through okay even with that style. I've never written Neville/Hannah before, but I think their ship is really cute, so I imagine that I might revisit them later in the future.

Thanks so much for your lovely review!


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Review #16, by lizmusic45 Sunlight

12th July 2012:
This is pure Amanda, this the same genius I know and who's writing I adore, this is is the prime example of who you are and how perfect your writing is, this, is just pure Amanda.

This is totally going in my favorites, I love this one-shot way to much to let it go.

My one-shot mine! :P


Author's Response: Hi Liz! I'm really glad you enjoyed this enough for it to make it into your favorites list, and your compliments, as always, truly make me blush.

Thanks for your very sweet review :)


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Review #17, by Indigo Seas Sunlight

4th July 2012:
You always leave such lovely reviews, so I thought I would try and leave a lovely review in return. This may be slightly less lovely than yours, simply because you're always a bit more eloquent than I find myself to be. :P

Anyway. This was just the sort of thing I needed to read. It was short, it was fluffy, it was just so... sweet. In the greatest, warmest sense of the word. It's such a simple thing that you're describing - lying next to someone while they're sleeping - and yet I can feel the love and affection she has radiating from every phrase you've crafted.

Sometimes I think it's hard to describe something that's so human, so normal. If that makes sense. It may be difficult to really capture the... I can't find the word I'm looking for. I dunno. What I'm trying to say is that you seem to have written the emotion perfectly, whatever that elusive emotion might be.

I hope I made any sort of sense. This was my favorite line: "He stirs, frowning slightly, and part of me panics. No, no, donít, donít leave, donít end this." It's sort of a simple line, but I love the slight discomfort/panic she's feeling in it.

Anyway, this was really lovely. You've woven their history in without it being awkward, and your romance is just... very romantic (see what I mean about being more eloquent?).

xx Rin

Author's Response: Aww, Rin, thank you! :)

Sweet is definitely what I was going for, so that's great to hear. I really wanted to show pure love in the aftermath of something so tragic, and I wanted to do it in the simplest way possible, because that's how life can be. It sounds like I executed that well here, and that's really, really lovely to hear, so thanks!

Yes, I like that line, too - there is that slight sense of panic, that feeling that the moment is about to shattered and the "real" day is about to begin. I'm glad that it worked for you.

Thanks so much for this really kind review :)


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Review #18, by tangledconstellations Sunlight

2nd July 2012:
Hey, lovely,

I really, really enjoyed this. It was so gentle and loving and the whole atmosphere was just bliss. Neville is honestly such a cutie pie, and your interpretation of him was so wonderful. He is gentle and so full of love, and the examples you've given, of him plucking up the courage, and always getting things a little bit wrong, are just divine. It makes this piece all the more wonderful.

The italics and the centering of text are really interestingly and thoughtfully used. It makes us connect with the speaker all the more, and impresses her wants and love for Neville that little bit extra. It's so telling of your talent that this is so short but yet you manage to create this amazing back story, and I kind of feel as though there is a whole other life waiting to be delved in to. It is really quite magnificent.

I'm gonna quit with the gushing now, and just point out the fact that I can provide NO constructive criticism or negative points about this. It was flawless - fluffy and lovely and the perfect love Neville has always needed.

:) Laura xxx

Author's Response: Hi Laura! Thanks for stopping by!

It's really great that you liked the gentleness of this piece and the warmth I tried to fold into it. I definitely wanted to write something that was fluffy but not completely... meaningless, you know? It still has that layer of plot underneath of it, so that you have some context for this soft little moment.

Thanks so much for your sweet review :)


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Review #19, by Moonyxluna Sunlight

27th June 2012:
god, this was just so comforting. It was adorable, and loving, and so different! I mean, okay. I love your writing style already, but when I clicked on this I was not expecting to have such a heartwarming feeling! It really shows how multi-talented you are.

I think my favorite was her remembering back to Neville asking only moments after Ernie. I thought that was so sweet! And believable, as well.

Hannah was characterized very neatly here. I liked her 'oh god, I'm old' moment when her waitress walked in. It showed how much she's been through without even realizing.

Again, nothing but the highest praise! This was so beautifully and carefully written, I really enjoyed it!

Author's Response: Comforting - that's a great word for what I wanted to convey, and I'm happy that it worked. I know I don't usually do fluff, so I was a bit nervous to get the reactions to this one, and I'm pleased that it all seemed to work well for you.

It's great that this seemed believable. I really wanted it to feel simple, flirtacious, and sweet. They're both just so normal, you know?

Thanks for another kind review :)


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Review #20, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Sunlight

25th June 2012:
Hello! Deeds here with your review. Ah! I just love when you request because you always give me something I know I will definitely want to read. Neville/Hannah? My OTP! I'll warn you, I'm very critical when it comes to them because they're my obsession. So this is what you wrote for your areas of concern:

Does the beginning hook you in? How's the flow, given the short length? Any other general comments would be great.

I'm going to try to answer everything here and hopefully add in a little bit more.

Let's get started!

Light, spilling in through our window like warm milk that comforts children at night. It weighs down my eyelids and seeps into my skin, filling me up like a sunburst. The feeling makes me want to explode, a bouquet of flowers erupting forth into life and love right next to him.

Does the beginning hook me in? Yes. I love the description right here. How itís kind of very abstract and I love the emotion. When I get to sunburst and 'explode' a smile appeared on my face. I could feel the love and that's all I ever want to feel when I read Hannah/Neville. The imagery...the light, the warm milk, the sunburst, the flowers. Everything just fits together and flows wonderfuly. Every just exudes love and comfort. I feel so warm and fuzzy inside.

He is unexpectedly normal, and his grandmother always says that I will make the prettiest bride.

^ Okay. So I appreciate the fact that you mentioned his grandmother because a lot of people forget about poor Augusta. She was a big part of his life, she raised him and people seem to throw her away like nothing. I thank you for that.

He drank the substandard coffee at the Leaky Cauldron for a year before asking me out on a proper date, and then, six months after that, he moved into my tiny flat. He is still stealing my heart day by day with his stories about the Hogwarts Founders, which he reads in Hogwarts: A History on his breaks from teaching, and the ever-blooming flowers in our home.

I'm back tracking a little here because I just wanted to comment on the backstory you give them. It's very simple and fits well with the entire one-shot. I like that it's not dramatic and not over done. I read and write a lot of arm waving and declaration of love shouting that when I read this everything just slides together smoothly. I think the little things in this story is what makes it the best. How they're just in bed. The mention of the flowers, the past and a future. It's all very simple and normal and that's who your characters are.

I'm the worse reviewer. I swear. I never give you any critiques. You're just so comfortable in your writing style and it shows. How can I critique that?

Thanks so much for requesting! If you have any questions/concerns feel free to PM me.

- Deeds/Alyssa

Author's Response: Hi Deeds! Sorry this response took ages!

Okay, confession time - I was pretty much dying to request a review from you as soon as I put this in the queue. I'm so glad you liked it!! :)

I'm happy that the warm metaphors and imagery worked for you - I meant for it to read just like I put it in there, like a flood of happiness and fluff. I wanted to capture that half-awake feeling I have when I get up, swaddled in covers and remnants of sleep.

Augusta should definitely not be thrown away. I imagine that she and Hannah would have quite an interesting relationship, really.

I wanted things to read as being under-dramaticized (is that a word?) and subtle and simple, and it seems like that's exactly what came across, so that's just lovely.

Hey, I love getting reviews with no critiques :) Seriously, though, you're super sweet. Thanks!


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Review #21, by forsakenphoenix Sunlight

24th June 2012:
I swear every time I read something new by you, it's like your talent has grown tenfold since the last chapter. I'm really quite impressed at how much you've grown as an author and how comfortable you seem with your writing style. It's beautiful to watch. But not as beautiful as this fic.

The opening scene, the imagery there was so, so pretty. The warm milk and the sunlight. It was just so light.

I'm not a big fluffy, contented type of reader but this was perfect. I'm left feeling all warm and fuzzy. I love the small details about Neville and Hannah's relationship, how Neville won her with simplicity. That's seriously one of my favorite lines in a fic and I don't know why. You've encompassed their relationship in one line, basically. Every moment, every milestone, is just so normal, you know? I love how Neville spent almost a year until he worked up the courage to ask her out on a date.

I also really liked Hannah when she was questioning when she stopped being a seventh year. I mean, really, where has the time gone?! That one line was an effective way to point out to your readers that they aren't students anymore and I think it helped prepare me for the end, with the ring box (and oh, that was so precious, the way he rolls over, following her scent, gahh). Also, her disdain for waking early, for Neville leaving the comfort of her bed and her arms to go teach...I can't get over how perfectly I can imagine everything and it's just so gorgeously written.

I really loved this, if you couldn't tell. You need to explore more underloved ships like this one and I will gobble up your writing like a... well, I could come up with some cheesy simile, but I'll let your mind come up with something more creative. Just know that I adore you and you must never stop writing!

Author's Response: Hi! So this response has taken ages. Sorry!

I never do fluff, it seems, and it's a shame, because this was fun and a nice departure from the rest of the stuff on my angst-filled page. (I sense you can empathize there, a bit. I'd kind of love to see you do fluff. TANGENT.)

Yep, normal is what I was going for here. They're just another wizarding couple, just like everyone else, and yet they're survivors of something so incredible and heartbreaking. I feel like 'normal' is just what they need.

I think I might come back to Hannah and Neville later on, and I'm definitely thinking that more fluff and more underloved ships are in my future. (Lately, Scorpius/Lily has been pulling at me. Need to finish my novels first!)

Thanks so much for this sweet review :)


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Review #22, by caoty Sunlight

24th June 2012:
Hello, I'm here with your requested review. I'm going to say I don't usually read a lot of straight-up fluff, though, so I might not be much use.

The beginning, with your heavy use of imagery to describe the sunlight - which would, by the way, degenerate into purple prose at the hands of a lesser writer - is 'aww that's lovely', and then you realise that it's pathetic fallacy, which brings it up to 'brilliant'. It's extremely poetic. In fact, I think this fic as a whole could be converted into a poem very well. (That's a compliment, by the way.)

It's the little details that make this piece as good as it is, though. Neville's growing tummy, the seven minutes, the flowers everything about Delilah; there's a beauty in the small things, which you show well in this fic, and it adds to this overall sense of warmth and contentment you get from Hannah.
(Although, by the way, Macmillian has only one capital M. I'm pedantic, I know.)

I have a couple of tiny little critiques for you:
the soft, pale skin that coats my shoulder
was a little bit creepy, because it set me off on a tangent of imagining Hannah's skin being painted on the muscle and fat and so on. On a more serious note, I also think it could be interpreted as being a little bit narcissistic.
In addition, I'm not sure how surprised Hannah would be to learn that Neville is mostly normal - after all, she was in his year at Hogwarts, and therefore most of the time knew him as a forgetful, shy guy.
I don't think either of these things are too terrible, though, and I'm not sure that the second one isn't just my headcanon getting in the way.

The ending is just the most beautiful thing. The way you've introduced the ring as on the same level as one of those small details which make Hannah and Neville's relationship what it is, is fantastic, and a perfect ending to this lovely fic.

It was definitely a pleasure to read, and put a smile on my face, so well done. :)

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for coming by, and I'm really sorry that I've taken so long to respond to this.

Whoa, that is high praise - thank you! I always work hard on my imagery, and it was fun to play with the metaphor of sunshine and warm food for such a light, airy sort of piece.

Thanks for catching that about Ernie's name. I'm glad that most of the detail worked for you, though. The details are probably my favorite thing about writing.

Ooh, creepy is not what I wanted to convey, so thanks for pointing that out. (I think I was still thinking of the food metaphor, like she was a cake. Gosh, that is a bit creepy!) I think you've made good comments about Hannah's perception of Neville, too - I think I was thinking more from the mindset of her watching him pick up the sword of Gryffindor and slaughter Voldemort's pet snake, of his strong, defensive words at the final battle. Still, he should come off as a normal guy.

Thanks so much for this lovely review :)


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Review #23, by luvdobby26 Sunlight

23rd June 2012:
Hello, hidden_secrets, here with your requested review :) This was a very nice one-shot. Short and sweet, my favourite! I love N/H fics, they're so sweet and this one was just bril!

Right, lets start with the stuff you were concerned about:

The beginning does hook you, and I really liked the whole thing about warm milk that comforts children at night, it was amazing, and a brilliant description!

Flow - This flows very nicely, even though the story is so short. You really shouldn't have been worried :)

Now onto the other areas:

Plot - Well, since the story was so short, I can't really comment on this, but it was still very interesting :)

Description - The description in this story was beautiful! You really are amazing at describing! Some of the things you described and the way you described them were truly amazing!

Charcterisation - Again, because this was so short I can't really comment on but you seemed to do a nice job with Hannah :)

Writing - The writing was beautiful, slightly messy in places but mostly a clean read. Well done!

Grammar - there was no grammar mistakes that I could see :D

Overall - overall, I very nicely written one-shot, that really hooks you from the start! Very well done, I hope you request more reviews from me :D

9/10 Well done xx

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for coming by, and I'm sorry this response has taken so long :)

I'm really glad that you liked most of the piece, and I'm sure I'll be back to request again soon. (I kind of wish you had been more specific about what came off as 'messy', but no matter, I'm glad most of it was okay!)

Thanks again for this kind review!


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Review #24, by StormThief17 Sunlight

23rd June 2012:
Hi, StormThief here!

The beginning certainly does hook me in! The description of the light is very vivid. In fact, all of your descriptions are very strong! They set a good tone for the story.

The flow is also fine. You were able to go through a couple of years in the blink of an eye without losing anything! I think this is a great relationship to explore and you did it very well. I would like to see more of Neville's character, but I can see you wrote this to be 500 words exactly so I guess that wouldn't work...

Anyway nice job! Its a very engaging couple of paragraphs!

Author's Response: Hi! Sorry this response has taken so long!

Ooh, great! I tried to focus on the imagery in the beginning to really build the scene, and it's great that it all worked well for you.

I was naturally a little worried about the flow because of the brevity of this piece, but I'm happy that you liked it. I may return to Neville and/or Hannah in the future, so stay tuned!

Thanks for your kind review :)


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Review #25, by TenthWeasley Sunlight

20th June 2012:
I adore this challenge -- it's by and large one of my favorite things about the forums, this challenge. Okay, so that might be a slight exaggeration -- but it never fails that when I read a story somebody's written for it, it turns out that the story is pretty much exceptional.

Not that I would have doubted a story from you would have been so lovely, but even this exceeded the very high standards I've come to hold your writing to. You have a beautiful way with words and descriptions, and from that very opening comparison about light and warm milk, I was hooked. The entire story had a gorgeously warm and soft and buttery feel to it, and truly I'm just sitting here soaking it in now. ♥

The thing that's best about this, though -- Neville and Hannah are just so normal and relatable and I am so, so impressed at your characterization of the pair of them. You've made them people in a place populated by characters and that's no mean feat. Hannah's thoughts about early rising, and about time slipping by (when did all my favorite characters grow old?) are just so real.

I loved this -- you write so, so beautifully. I'm almost sorry this isn't a longer piece, but massive congratulations on getting this to exactly 500 words! (More or less difficult than you thought?) Seriously, Amanda. This was beautiful. Thank you for sharing it with us!

Author's Response: Jane! This response has taken ages. I'm sorry.

I agree, I love this challenge. The pieces submitted for it are pretty much never boring. I think 'buttery' is definitely a good way to conceptualize the feel I wanted this to have, something warm and comforting.

I'm really glad that both Neville and Hannah seemed on point to you, and that they felt relateable, as you said, in a large cast of characters. Getting it to 500 actually wasn't so bad - I only had to quickly edit it a couple of times before it came in at the right count.

Thanks so much for your very kind review :)


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