Hello there, dear!! I just listened to and reviewed the podcast of this on HPPC, so I thought it was only fitting that I come and review the story! (After all, there really are too few random reviews going around these days!)
I found this to be hauntingly beautiful. I really loved that you showed two different characters in their letter-writing experiences, but you also connected the two episodes by stating that Remus was upset at Regulus' death. It also seemed to suggest (at least to me) that Regulus was at least partially the inspiration behind Remus' wanting to write a letter, which I thought was brilliant.
The idea of Remus trying to write a letter to Teddy but not being able to find the words really got me... it nearly brought tears to my eyes.
I think my favorite line was at the end, "the tranquility of a necessary rebellion". Absolutely stunning!
Overall an amazing job, dear! 10/10! Report Review
Hello again! I'm here for your prize review!
I'm not too sure if you saw my last review but I'll repeat what I said before. I'm aware that I won't be able to give you 10 reviews all at once so whenever you post something new, I'll review it and then you'll slowly get all 10 prize reviews. :)
Okay so now onto the review!
This was amazing! The way you write, it's so clear and it gets straight to the point! You don't have unnecessary rambling - a lot of fics tend to do that - and you just portray all the emotion really well!
You have a real talent, you really do! I love how you've referenced the fact that Remus was poor and would probably just buy a pack of 20 pens for $2 (AU) (I tried converting it to British pounds but I got confused D:) because that just gives that extra more canon-feel.
I loved, loved the last bit of the third last sentence:
he understands the tranquillity of a necessary rebellion.
That was beautiful, it was so sophisticated and captured the image of the Wizarding War (hopefully that's what it's referencing - I may be wrong :p).
Anyway, this was a wonderful one-shot - it definitely deserved that Dobby nomination!
Review 2/10. (That isn't the rating by the way, just how many reviews I've left in case I lose track :p).Author's Response: Hey~
Well, you can't really have unnecessary rambling in a 500 word fic, can you. :P
It was really self-indulgent though - I'm probably one of the few people in this world who'd choose to focus on the bloody pens they use, for God's sake - surprisingly.
Anyway, you're right about that sentence, and once again thank you so much for your lovely review! :D Report Review
Wow, this was so beautifully written-you really have a way with words. The tone of this piece was just perfect-and I'm not quite sure how you managed it in only 500 words! It's definitely a skill, and I think this is a piece to be proud of!
Courtney:)Author's Response: Hi!
Wow. Thank you so, so much; I'm really glad you liked this. :) Report Review
Hey it's patronus_charm from the review tag!
Wow is all I can really say, that was just brilliant, and so beautifully written, the way you described things, it was just wonderful, but the best line was definitely - 'dipping an imperious quill into dark ink', I mean I'm not even sure why I loved it, but it just brilliant!
Even this was only 500 words, it felt like a lot more, as you managed to convey so much, in such a little space, and that requires great skill, so congrats!
And the way he was writing a letter to Teddy, almost as if he knew, he was going to die, that really made me want to cry, as I think that was one of the saddest things, that Teddy had to lose both of his parents, so unnecissarly!
I can definitely see why it was nominated for a Dobby now, and congrats on that by the way! Wow, I think I'm going to favourite this story, it was just wow, really! Kiana :DAuthor's Response: Hey!
I'm really glad you like the writing; it's just mostly made up of words that sounded good at the time. xD
Anyway - thank you so much for this lovely review (and for the favourite!) - wow! :D Report Review
I teared up at the end of this! This was so beautifully written, and just so poignant and heartfelt! I especially loved the way you wrote about Remus - so heartbreaking! And in 500 words, no less! Such an amazing achievement! You should be really proud of yourself for this story! It's wonderful!Author's Response: Hey!
Wow... thank you so very much. I'm really, really glad you liked it this much! ♥ Report Review
I love how you've opened this with an Angela Carter quote. She's one of my favourite authors! But that's kind of irrelevant to the story itself so I shall move on to something resembling a review.
How on earth do you fit so much into just 500 words? If I'd written the same thing it would have taken me 5000. It's a real skill to be able to write something neat and concise, and I'm envious of anyone who can do it.
The first time I read it I was a tad confused and I've gone over it a few more times in an attempt to digest it properly. And I love what happens here - it's not clear at first, but I think I've worked out the plot for myself now and it's awesome. I'm a bit hesitant to tell you what I think it's about because, well, I'm almost certain I'll be wrong, and I get the feeling that this is meant to be a bit amibiguous anyway. I feel like it's one of those pieces you have to read and then let stew in the back of your mind for a bit and wait for it to become fully apparent.
The ending's heartbreaking. Well, all 500 words are, really, but the ending especially.
Also, I've got to say that I don't read Marauders often, but now and again I'll read something about them, like this, and it blows me away.
Great job! ♥Author's Response: Hey!
Angela Carter is one of my favourites, too. You have great taste. :D
So I suppose that's meant to be a rhetorical question, but I'll answer it for you anyway: I cheat. Because my readers are mostly Potterheads, it's the readers that are filling in the character backstories, most of the plot, all that kind of stuff. It can go awfully wrong, so I'm glad it seems to have worked for you. (And I've probably ruined it for you now. Sorry.)
This fic tends to confuse everyone, so sorry 'bout that. But - thank you so much for your wonderful comments! (Your interpretation probably isn't wrong - I tend to go for a more postmodern approach to that kind of thing anyway, because I'm an awful person.)
Once again: thank you so, so much for your lovely review. Report Review
First off, I love the quote you started with. It really set the tone for the whole piece.
With a few chosen words, I can picture the myriad of stories that these two characters had gone through to get to these moments, and the myriad of stories that these two characters had after writing. Writing is indeed a powerful tool. Even though you left a lot unsaid, I am fascinated by the depths that I felt within it. Congratulations on your Dobby nomination!Author's Response: That quote is from one of my most favourite sentences ever, so I'm glad you like it. And you're the first person to comment on it, so thank you. :)
The cool thing about writing about characters that my readers already understand is letting them fill in the blanks, so it's not me being deep, it's just trying to provide a framework for your imagination... if that makes sense at all?
Anyway, thank you so much for your review! :) Report Review
Remus doesn't have the words and I can hardly find mine in order to express how this piece made me feel.
So short yet so powerful. It amazes me how you can send so many emotions and make us understand so much with so little words. The connection between the two characters, Remus, obviously the second one, and I'm guessing Regulus is the first one, right? Talking about how they should come and get Sirius out of the house (well, that's my understanding anyway!).
The ability to express ourselves with written words is amazing and although we, fiction writers (you especially) may find it normal and, if not easy, at least feasible, it really isn't the case for most of the rest of the world. With this piece, you showed just how much words matter and how difficult it can be to express your emotions through them.
I really loved it and felt really touched by it; so much that it was very hard for me to write this review. This is your "tag review" that I got yesterday and it took me 24h to find the right words to express how you made me feel and yet, I still find that this doesn't do justice to it. It was a wonderful read, thanks! Definitly Dobby nomination worthy!Author's Response: I think we are all running out of words recently, since I've spent a ridiculous amount of time looking at this review and thinking, "Wow." But anyway.
I cheated a bit by just choosing moments, which you Potterheads would understand. I imagine it'd be quite a bit harder to write a full-length, linear story in 500 words.
Well done for guessing what the first note was about! You're, like, one of three people who figured it out, because I'm not really that good at this whole plot thing.
Random fact: "a godlike science" actually comes from Frankenstein, when the newborn Monster discovers the power of language and stories and thinks "wow, I wish I could do that". It was the inspiration for this fic, so any credit should probably go to Mary Shelley for that idea, not me.
Thank you so much for your amazing review - I'm really, really glad you liked this. :)
I feel so conflicted right now because even though this Every Word Counts challenge is wonderful and interesting and you did it well, I really really wish this was longer. But maybe it's not necessary. Still, though, the writing pulled me in from the beginning. It's so easy to just lose myself in your writing. You have a really unique style and I adore and envy it at the same time. And you truly made every word count in this short piece.
The Remus-Regulus connection is something I haven't come across before and it's so fascinating. To think Regulus' piece of writing had touched Remus in a way, years after he was dead. I have to say, though, I didn't really understand what Regulus was writing about and I wish I did.
Remus' part just blew my mind. Only few words and so many things in between - Sirius, Regulus, the war and his struggle...and then the beginning of a letter for Teddy, it just broke my heart. So overall I really liked this story and your writing, since you always manage to invoke an emotion with very few words. Great job.Author's Response: Hey there!
...Wow. That's a huge ego boost (just what I nned before triple maths in the morning, actually) - thank you so much!
I've always been fascinated by Regulus and his quiet, clever bravery... it reminds me of Remus in a way, so I decided to play on that.
As for what Regulus is writing about - yeah, that confused everyone, sorry - the first is to Remus about Sirius, the second is the one we see in HBP and DH.
The cool thing about writing for a bunch of Potterheads is that I don't actually have to say much about Remus in particular, but you guys can fill in the blanks, which makes this piece far more detailed than it actually is. :P
Anyway - if I haven't ruined that for you - thank you so much for your review, and I'm really glad you liked it! :)
Hello, I'm here from the review thread. :)
And wow, this was stunning. I love the flow of your words the the dark and mysterious feel of this piece here too.
Your words are very haunting too. :D So good job with this short fic here. Keep up the good work. ;)
-AsphodelAuthor's Response: Thanks, love. Report Review
This was a very well-written fic. I liked your style of writing as well as the plot. The ending was fitting indeed. I also liked your character portrayal of Regulus and Remus. Your narrative was quite good. This made a short and sweet read. All in all, I liked it. Good job!
(AditiDraco95)Author's Response: Hey there!
I love Regulus and Remus, and this thing was very interesting to write, so I'm really glad you appreciate it.
Thank you so much for your review! :) Report Review
Ah, I love this so much! Is this really 500 words? Just over six paragraphs? I felt so much of their character in such a short span of time. Every word is so well-chosen and crammed with backstory. There's something about the flow of the sentences that made me want to keep reading, at first to guess who these characters are and then how they tie together. The moments are quite different, but I feel the same shadow of war hovering over them, and sort of a quiet intensity foreshadowing their impending actions.
♥ love it!Author's Response: The cool thing about telling events in canon characters' lives to a bunch of people who know them as well as I do is that you get to have fun with it - it's not crammed with backstory at all, it's just that your imagination is. If that makes any sense at all.
Anyway, if I haven't ruined this for you, thank you so, so much for your lovely review, I really do appreciate it. :D Report Review
Wow. This is amazing! It's so short, but it feels so much longer. I've read stories many times the length of this that leave much less of an impression and leave me with much less to think about. I adore this. It's the little details that show you what's happening. The note saying "Dear Teddy". Someone being the "Destroyer" of the house of black. You did a wonderful job with this. You should be proudAuthor's Response: It's nearly always a good sign when reviews start with 'wow'. XD
Erm... thank you so, so, so much. I've been staring at this review for ages wondering how the hell I'm going to live up to that praise. Honest to God. Wow. Report Review
This is short, but I know it is only 500 words, so I am not surprised!
I didn't really get it that much though. I think the first section was Sirius's brother, Regulas or something like that, right?
And the second part, is, hmm. Remus Lupin? Or Harry? No I think it is Remus. because of his son Teddy? Am I right? Yes? No? I will find out if you reply!
But anyways, I though this was good, and I think you should continue writing!Author's Response: Yes, 500 word fics tend to be short. :P
The first is indeed Regulus and the second Remus, and this fic basically confused everyone, so I'm sorry about that.
Thank you so much for your review! Report Review
Hello there from the review tag forum!
I enjoyed this a lot. It seems almost sureal that in 500 words you could create this invisible bond between two characters that are years apart in time and live two completely different lives, bound together only by the affection of their brother (in my opinion Sirius was like a brother to Remus). I also like how in the end he couldn't find the words to say to Teddy.
XoXoAuthor's Response: Hey there!
Honestly, I have a bit of a problem writing something that's longer than 600 words, so 500 isn't too much of a stretch for me. If it had been 5000 words, then that would've been way more challenging, actually. I'm weird, I know.
Thank you so much for your review! :) Report Review
That was so beautifully written. Writing a story this extraordinary in 500 words really shows your talent as a writer. You chose your words carefully and there was this subtleness to it all; I loved it to pieces.
I admit, the first time I read it through I was confused but after going back over it a second and third time, everything clicked and, wow, I'm just in awe of you.
This was absolutely fantastic- I loved it.Author's Response: Thank you so much! I wanted to sort of write something like Regulus' letter to Voldie, you know, short and sweet but still complete-feeling. Either that or I would actually find it harder to write a 1000+ word one-shot. Anyway.
I think everyone was confused by this one. Sorry about that. But I'm glad you re-read it! That's high praise all by itself.
Thank you so much for reviewing. :) Report Review
First of all, I'm so impressed you managed to get this all into only 500 words. They're so so difficult to do (I tried doing one myself once and ended up scrapping it because I hadn't said half of what I'd intended to in the 500 words). Sometimes they can feel under-developed, you know, like it could almost be any person or people, just with certain names, you know? But this wasn't like that, this felt developed and it felt... I dunno, right? Like it should just be this length - no more, no less. I have no idea if that made sense or not, but never mind...
I love how it was Remus and Regulus, both connected by Sirius and to each other separately - through the note - and that was it. Yeah, you mentioned Tonks and Teddy at the end, but they weren't in the story in the same way - they were almost just like additions to the scenery and description, lol. It's not a bad thing - it worked really well here because it allowed you to really focus on Remus and Regulus.
I loved your characterised of them both. They're not friends, so they can't exactly understand each other or anything particularly deep or meaningful, but they've, in a way, shared an important moment for each of them and shared the feelings that accompanied that as well. And that is, in its own way, impossibly intimate and really brings people together, you know. So even though they don't know each other, really, it feels almost like they at least understand each other, without ever exchanging words or anything.
Your mention of Sirius was great, too. I loved how you sort of summarised the whole Sirius and Regulus relationship in that one short line where you described Sirius moving through all those emotions after hearing that his brother was gone. It somehow gave so much depth to it - I honestly don't even know how and couldn't tell you what it is about it that does that, but it just does - and that made this all the more saddening.
Gosh, this was just lovely. So thoughtful - you made me thoughtful, lol - and sad in a kind of way which makes me smile and feel almost proud of these two, because of the significance of those notes they're writing and the actions they do in this. It's odd, but it works.
Gah, this was just lovely :)
Aph xxAuthor's Response: I have the opposite problem to you - I can't write a long, detailed piece of fic. I struggle to get past the word limit to be honest, though admittedly this one required a hell of a lot of editing out stuff, so I'm glad the length worked for you.
Remus and Regulus are both fascinating characters in my opinion, because in my headcanon they're almost doubles; they're both quiet and subtle, with an inhuman amount of hidden depths that aren't quite as explored in canon as I'd like.
And yeah, for the purposes of this piece, Tonks and Teddy are basically furniture. XD
I'm glad you've said this because it was one of the things I was going for in this; the idea of... erm... sort of... an individual collectivity? That's a bit of an oxymoron, and you've put it far better than I could have, so I'm going to stop talking about it now.
I've always imagined Sirius as kind of taking emotions like gunshots - quick, but powerful, with long-lasting effect - and I tried to put that into the line, so I'm really glad it worked for you. I've never put so many adjectives into a sentence in my life.
You feel proud of them! I do too! I'm rather fond of them both. :)
Thank you so much for your absolutely wonderful review! Report Review
Well, that was very, very beautifully written. Almost poetic. I loved subtlety and how carefully you had chosen the words to convey the message.
I must admit that I had to read it twice before I got every aspect of it, but I partially blame your beautiful use of English language. It simply dazzled me. Anyhow, it's interesting how you managed to write such a compex piece with 500 words. I personally couldn't do it, so my hat is off to you.
I would love to read more about Remus. He's such an interesting character and you nailed him with a couple of phrases.Author's Response: Thank you so much. I did have to do an unbelievable amount of editing, so your appreciation is... appreciated.
I think everyone had to read this more than once to figure this out - and if you ever do figure it out, let me know.
But really, though. I'm very glad you liked the writing style; I've never written something like this before.
I've written a different Remus since, and maybe I'll return to him in the future.
Thanks ever so much for your review! Report Review
I think this oneshot is extraordinary. I don't know whether this had to be exactly 500 words, but it flows so well and doesn't feel clunky or stitched-together at all! It also puts together an intriguing story, and I really want to know what happens next :)
Great job!Author's Response: Hey there taggy-person!
It was actually meant to be 500 words not including quotes, but that's a secret. >.>
Thanks for your review, and I'm glad you liked it. :) Report Review
I read some of the reviews and I'm happy that it wasn't just me confused all. I did get it the second time around, when I actually started paying attention to the words.
You're words were so captivating, that when I first read them I was just reading. I didn't even understand what I was reading, so I had to read it the second time around and make sue I pay attention, I guess the confusion is partly my fault too, huh?
I really like the hints you gave us! They weren't that subtle to me on my second read. Your writing is really really good, especially how you describe and gave reasons for things. I loved how you gave reason to most things, like how Remus was using a pen instead of a quill.
A really well-written story! And I enjoyed it! You're a great author, even though I've only seen two of your stories. Both were completely fantastic.
Izzy xxAuthor's Response: Hello again~
I'm glad you got it... eventually... I wasn't really thinking too much when I wrote this one, otherwise I'd have at least attempted to make what I was talking about clearer. Sorry about that.
I wasn't sure about the hints, I actually thought they were too obvious at one point and you'd all scorn me for underestimating my audience. Apparently I went the other way instead. But anyway - you flatter me far more than I deserve. I'm so glad you like the words themselves. I'm a bit obsessed with language and poetry and the act of writing and all sorts of other pretentious things, and so I decided to indulge myself a little bit (a lot) with this one.
Thank-you so much! :) Report Review
Hello :) It's your fellow Gryffie from the common rooms here. I really loved the way you portrayed everything in this story. The way you started off was brilliant as well. This was a wonderful piece to read!
10/10.Author's Response: Hi :)
That is fantastically ego-boosting, and I'm so happy you liked this so much! Thanks. Report Review
Hi! I'm here from Review Tag :)
This is a great piece - I really love your descriptions, the way you make small events into the gigantic impacts that they are in canon. Your comment about the word 'dark' struck me as being particularly effective in its subtlety. I also thought you characterized both Regulus and Remus well, though I was admittedly slightly more impressed with Regulus's section. (Not entirely sure why.)
Overall, this was a little confusing for me, though. Usually I can appreciate very abstract and disjointed pieces like this, but I guess I just sort of missed the point on this one, like you were a little too subtle in the references that you were making. For example, I still can't figure out exactly what was meant by the title. Care to help me out?
Overall, though, this is nice, and I can see from even this small sampling that you've got talent. It's also nice to not pick out technical errors as I go along, because I don't see too many of them here. This is a great addition to the EWC Challenge :)
-AmandaAuthor's Response: Hi!
I'm glad you like the descriptions - I R&R'd your Neville/Hannah today, and your own descriptions blew me away, so that's very high praise coming from someone like you. I may have put a touch bit more thought into Regulus' character rather than Remus' in this case, so that might be why you preferred his part.
I've managed to confuse everyone with this fic. I think I just like subtle references and feeling better than everyone who doesn't get it. xD
"a godlike science" is in fact a Frankenstein quote about language in general, which I thought was fitting for this fic. I should probably put that in an author's note somewhere.
Thank you for your review, and I'm glad you liked it. :) Report Review
So I had to read this a few times for it to fully sink in, but I have to say you did an excellent job of managing to convey some very deep emotions into a very small amount of space, truly making every word count.
Lupin is a very layered character, and you did a great job of capturing that complexity here. You also had grat choices of words, and it seemed to flow effortlessly.Author's Response: Hi, tag-person~
I'm glad the word count worked for you. I think the great thing about both Remus and Regulus is that you don't often need a lot of words to convey their thoughts, because they're not dramatic people.
Thank you for your review, and I'm very glad you enjoyed it. Report Review
Woah... I've had the re-read the entire thing three times before I could fully grasp the story. Something about the flow, it's soft and lulling. The last line is particularly stricking. The unfinished letter is intriging, sad, almost disappointing and when you get to the end the line hits you like a bullet because it's... blunt? Different from the soft, sweet melodious voice from the rest of the text. Very.. powerful. :)
I've always found it difficult to write a complete story in a few words and you've managed to deliver that in such a beautiful way, it's stunning. Honestly, this is a great work, it's beautiful and we can tell you've spent a lot of time choosing your words. Very, very nice piece.
10/10 and this is something I don't give lightly, you should really be proud of this :)
-JuneAuthor's Response: Wow. Thank you so much. Erm. I was worried that the end line was a bit too abrupt, actually, but I'm glad it worked for you; I'm also glad you liked the narrative voice in general (it could have turned out a bit pretentious).
You flatter me far too much. You've made my day. Thank you so much (again). Report Review
Wow, I love the way that you can fit an entire story into 500 words, I love your imagery and I love your writing style. Seriously, this whole thing is really, really great. :)Author's Response: You flatter me far too much, but thank you anyway, and I'm glad you enjoyed it. :) Report Review
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