Great story about James' parents. I always wondered about them but never really got intrigued because it's a story that rarely gets written about. I think this has got to be the first fanfiction I've ever seen written about how James' parents met.
The story's really original, so I like how it's like a breath of fresh air compared to the other, really cliched storylines going around.
I loved how you made Tristan Potter SO similar to how James Potter (the first) was. Looks like over-confidence runs in the family.
Anyway, good story and I love your other fanfictions as well. Overall, well done! One of the best one-shots I've read. :)Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review and your very kind words! :) I'm glad you enjoyed the story so much! Report Review
First of all - I love that you've showed a bit of where James may have gotten pieces of his personality. The Potter men quite possibly think they know their way with women, it seems ;)!
I usually don't love first person, but that's because it's often poorly done and I feel like I'm reading some boring diary entry. But this was wonderful! You kept the story open so I knew what was going on as opposed to just what the character was thinking, you used first person to not only let me be part of Isolda, but you let me see what was going on outside of her.
I also love that they both seem to have a sarcastic/bordering on dry sense of humor with one another, I can feel Iz enjoying Tristan, even if she doesn't want to. And we all know the Potter men love a chase..
For some reason I also really enjoyed when Iz noticed that he had a pleasant, open smile. Maybe because it gave me such a clear picture of what was going on - you really made these two easy to imagine and watch while I read along.
You did an amazing job making this a believable 1900's portrayal! Your word choices really complimented the style, helping take me back to large dressed, overdone hair, and gossipy women who think everyone aught to be married by sixteen.
This is just the kind of thing I was looking hoping to read ♥Author's Response: Oh, yay! This is definitely one of the pieces I'm proudest of, despite the first person (which I tend to dislike for the same reason as you). I had a lot of fun with it - I always pictured James's father as being a little ridiculous, especially when he was younger. :P Thank you so much for the review, and I'm glad you liked the story so much (and especially that you felt like I captured the time period)! ♥ Report Review
I don't usually take the time to leave a review, but I have to say i enjoyed this story and if you were to continue this into a longer story I have to say that I would like to read it.Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time here - I really appreciate it. :) I'll also keep that in the back of my mind - the general consensus for this seems to be disappointment that it's just a one-shot! :P Report Review
Here for the review swap!
I think the thing that stood out to me the most about this one shot was the strong and distinctive voice that you gave to James' mum. It was lovely to read this and be able to /know/ the character despite the short length of the story. That being said, I am curious to know more about her -- to see other facets of her personality. I guess that's the beauty of a one-shot, though. You get to show a brief snippet, a single point in time and only give the reader what is pertinant to that particular story. I think it speaks to the quality of your one shot that this left me wanting to know more. :) You also did a good job building up a curiosity about this mysterious Mr. Potter. I got the sense while reading this that there was likely more to him than her friends lead her to believe, and when I finally got to see him for myself I was like, "Finally!" It was a very nice build up and resolution.
I think this was an interesting story to tell and play with as a means to explore a different era snd person. You did a great job working with the first person (whether the first person strengthened your characterization or the strong characterization strengthened your use of first person, I'm not sure... chicken or the egg I suppose), and I think the first person suited this story very well. It made this story feel more personal. As for era, I suppose you did well working with the turn of the twentieth century (though I'm far from an expert with this era). The names and the patriarchal sort of society (they all thought it odd for her to work instead of want to marry) gave this piece a old fashioned, era apropriate feel. I think that perhaps the diologue could have felt a touch more turn of the century -- I don't have specific examples of this, but I just didn't /feel/ the era in the progression of dialogue. Now that I've said this, I do want to clarify that this was primarily a concernt in the exchange between her and her mother. I thought when she finally did speak to him that their dialogue was fantastic.
All in all, I think you performed admirably in your self issued challenge. This was a lovely and enjoyable one shot and I'm glad I got it in the exchange. Very well done.
MelissaAuthor's Response: I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to answer this. The House Cup ate my free time.
Definitely know what you mean about the dialogue - I was a bit worried about that re: the conversation between her and her mother. I'll definitely go back to try and tweak it a bit.
Thank you for the review. I'm really glad you liked this and thought it worked well - I think I'm being won over by first person. (Only a little, though. :P) Report Review
Ooh I really love this! It's definitely got that old-time feel - I can really tell it's in the 1900s :) I really love the characters in this and the story itself! It reminds me quite a bit of Pride and Prejudice, hehe :) I love how unusual a person Isolda Winters is - Love her name as well! I just loved how Isolda avoids anything to do with this new handsome man, but eventually gives Tristan a chance.
I've also never read this pair before (surprise), so I just loved this story about how they met :) A really enjoyable fic to read - wonderfully written! :)Author's Response: Oh, I'm glad that this put you in the feel of the era - I was definitely going for that, but I was a bit worried it wouldn't come across. (I'm also really pleased that it made you think of Pride and Prejudice - that is, like, one of my favourite books ever.)
Thank you so much for the review! :) Report Review
This was a really fun read, there were just a couple things that caught my eye though (lol other than Tristen) You had said that he just arrived in town, when I was under the impression that his family had lived there since the Peverells (canon wise) so maybe that he'd been away for work and had come back?
Also when you had mentioned substituting Newt eyes for Frog eyes, I think you might have gotten something mixed up there. oops, no I was wrong lol. It was just kinda confusing lol.
Other than those things, this was a wonderful read :) I'd always been interested with this couple, and I'm glad it was a simple one-shot, but had it's complexity to it :) I thought it was a really great balance. Also, for a first, first person fic, I couldn't really find any faults, it flowed nicely :)
Great job! I'm glad this happened to be my 700th review :)Author's Response: Hmm. I actually never got that impression - I assumed that there were descendants of the Peverells who lived in the village on and off, but not that the Potters had just stayed there since the time of the Peverells. Interesting - I'll look into it! :)
Thank you for mentioning the newt/frog eyes - I'll go back and try to reword it a bit to make it clearer!
I'm really glad you liked this as a one-shot; most people seem to really want me to continue it, and I was starting to be worried it couldn't properly stand on its own!
Thank you for the review! :) Report Review
It's a little hard for me to relate these two young people to James Potter elderly parents - the generational differences seem so big. I wonder what he heard about Isolda and from whom - what made him interested in meeting her. Interesting beginning - thank you!Author's Response: Thank you for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed this - it was a lot of fun to write. :) Report Review
naww, that was so cute! you should so make something longer out of it! :D
10/10Author's Response: Oh, thank you! :) That seems to be the common consensus. Right now I have a lot of WIPs and no inspiration to continue this, but I'll definitely keep your feedback in mind for when I finish a couple of my current fics (which actually should be soon).
Thank you for the review! Report Review
I just had to go back and look...no! This is only a one-shot. I really enjoyed it. I would have liked more because I'm greedy. :D
"And that you use the blood of virgins to make potions that you bathe in to keep your youthful appearance."
^ Oh, psssh, I hear that all the time (just kidding). That's an interesting way to attract a woman! I wanted to clap for Tristan. I loved all the characters you introduced to us and the language! Wonderful work as usual Beeezie!Author's Response: I think that's something that almost everyone who's read this one-shot has said! I might consider expanding on it a bit or writing another one- or two-shot when I have a few less WIPs and a little more inspiration. :)
Thank you so much! ♥ Report Review
Ha ha, Tristan was so much like James! You're exactly captured how I always imaged that James's parents would be. You did very well with all of the historical details, which I greatly appreciated and enjoyed.
I thought you did very well with first person point of view! I loved Isolda's voice - very strong and self assured. Good for her. You're a highly talented writer!Author's Response: Oh, thank you so much! :) I had a lot of fun with this story, and I'm glad you feel like it came out well! Report Review
I've never read anything like this before; but I really enjoyed it :) Keep up the great writing :) 10/10
XAuthor's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it. :) Report Review
I really liked this story as a one-shot, but it would even more lovelier as a short story or novella. You have excellent characters here, intriguing plot and all the other elements ready to go for a longer ride. So please, consider it? This was definitely my favorite of your fanfics yet.Author's Response: Aw, thank you! :)
I do think that this is going to stay a one-shot, at least for the moment - I have a lot of other WIPs that I want to finish up. However, I'll definitely keep your comment in mind for the future. :)
Thank you for the review! Report Review
Cute. I liked it more than I expected to be honest. I'd go so far as to say that I'd rather like a bit more... perhaps a short story of around 10 chapters or so? :)
Seriously though - was very good. Cute and sweet.Author's Response: Aw, thank you! :)
I think that this is going to stay a one-shot for the moment, but I'll keep your comment in mind - maybe I'll add to it or write a sequel at some point in the future. :) I would like to explore the pairing a bit more - it's a lot of fun! Report Review
I want first so bad. Seriously, if someone beats me to it while i'm writing this... not happy.
I cannot believe this is your first first-person; it's absolutely brilliant. I love the idea of Iz being skeptical of Tristan. It makes her remind me of Lily, and that just makes me smile, haha.
Wonderfully done, yet again, and such a unique idea, as far as I'm aware.
- Adele :)Author's Response: Aww, you are so sweet!
Thank you so much. This was really, really way out of my comfort zone - I kept wanting to fall into third person and then had to go back and rephrase! Other era I'm a little more secure about - I think a Hogwarts era fic would be the most difficult for me - but still, this was difficult.
I'm really, really glad you liked it. (To be honest, the work is worth it even if only you like it, because you are awesome and never fail to make me smile as a reviewer or as an author. &hearts) Report Review
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