Lovin it so far!!! Really excellent!Author's Response: Thank you! :) Report Review
This was a good chapter! Hopefully Molly sorts things out with her family soon! And Scorpius and Molly... That's an interesting pairing that I wouldn't have thought of! I want to see where you take that. Only one thing that I noticed tha you cpuld work on- the chapters move really quickly, so sometimes they feel a little rushed. Also, what the name of the girl who is Molly in your banner? She's really pretty! 9/10
Cassie :)Author's Response: :) Thanks for reviewing!!
I will try and work on the pace for you over the next few months or so! With the holidays and exams coming soon I'm not sure when I'll have it all edited and a new chap up, but I'll try my absolute hardest!
The girl in my new banner is Jane Levy, she's an american actress.:)
Thank you (again) for the review! :) Report Review
Your first couple of lines immediately amused me. I think you have Percy's character down very accurately here.
*grins* I have a theory that siblings 3-5 years apart are less likely to get on than those smaller or larger gaps, because the older one is old enough to find the younger one's childishness irritating, but not old enough to really grasp that they can't help it and the younger one is old enough to see the older as a peer and want to take part in what they are doing, but not old enough to be able to participate properly, so their attempts to join in are more likely to annoy the older one. When you're 11, your three year old sister trying to participate in your games is amusing, your 9 year old sister joining in makes the game more fun, but your 6 or 7 year old sister just ruins the game by doing it wrong, without being small enough to make their mistakes sweet and forgiveable. That's my theory anyway and it seems to be working with Molly and Lucy here.
You misspelled Gryffindor as Griffindor.
I like the fact that Lucy and Molly are younger than a lot of the other cousins. I guess Percy was concentrating on his career, which makes sense for him. I also like the fact that Fred and Roxanne are twins. Twins run in families, so it makes sense that somebody in the Weasley family would have twins.
Offspring is one word and when you say '"...", joked Rose', there should be a comma at the end of the dialogue, not a full stop and "joked" should have a small j. The same rule is true when anybody speaks and you use something like "said x", "shouted y", etc.
You've said "six of whom where all boys". It should be "six of whom were boys".
And you've written "the feeling's neutral". I assume you mean "the feeling's mutual", since a neutral feeling would mean they'd no opinion on each other whatsoever.
*laughs at the idea of Hagrid attending a kids' tea party* That's a funny mental image.
*cheers for the Sorting Hat's song* I tend to skip them because they are HARD.
*laughs* I'm actually planning to put Molly in Hufflepuff too, but she won't start Hogwarts until my year 3, so that's a while off.Author's Response: Thank you!
I'm glad my first lines amused you! That's practically what any writer wants to hear!
The sibling theory was more a last minute decision.
I had thought on it before because I know of siblings who almost hate each other and then get on so well with their other siblings!
I think it all depends on how big the age gap is.
I will fix those mistakes ASAP!
I thought I got all my Griffindors changed to Gryffindor! :S
Ooops! Thank you for pointing those out! I am strongly considering a Beta!
Thank you for reviewing! Good luck with your story as well, I would love to read it!!
:) Report Review
LOL. Loved it. The irony is awesome. You gotta keep writing this one.Author's Response: :) Thank you so much!! Your review has made my.. WEEK! haha
My next chapter should hopefully be out in a week at most... :)
I really like your flow at the start and ending but the journey seems a bit rushed.
But it was still really good and a great idea for a story!
I love all you characters, they seem so original!Author's Response: Thank you!! I was hoping to edit the first chapter soon.
Again, thank you!! I will be updating in a few weeks! Report Review
Wow! This is so cool, I thought I hated Percy before, but now it's too much! Ugh what is his problem? And WOW Rose, you really do like Molly after all, well family is family! :) this is awesome! I really love this story as I've said before! :D update soon! Xxx I'm gonna follow this story 'til the end!Author's Response: :) Thank you!!! I was feeling so gloomy about this chapter and was sure i would get a review about how horrid it is, so you have restored my faith!! hahaha
Family is family... minus the odd exceptions i'm going to have to make (hinthintspoiler) haha
I need to write the next chapter still but it's all planned out, i'll be no later than a few weeks if even!
Thanks again! :) xxx Report Review
The first thing I noticed when I was reading your summary is the fact that you Gryffindor wrong instead of Gryffindor you wrote Griffindor. Well I noticed the fact you also had several other mistakes in your chapter I would suggest getting a beta. I think the story has much potential and I like the idea you have here but I would sincerely suggest getting a beta and to request a banner ( many people donít read stories without banners).Author's Response: Thanks... :) Report Review
no come back!! i want the party! :( but this was really good, im gonna follow this story till the end! :)Author's Response: Thank you! Again! hahah.. i know, i'm so evil... :)
Glad you liked it, the next one is writen as shall be submited around tonight/tomorrow ish! So it will just need to be validated. Report Review
I really liked this chapter! It's a good story so far! And I think Molly is adorable. I can't wait to see how her family reacts to the fact that she was sorted into Hufflepuff! Also, I really liked the sorting hats song! 10/10
Cassie :)Author's Response: Thank you so much!! I was finding it hard to write the sorting hats song, so it's super to hear you liked it!
I love Molly's characteristics, she's a lot like my best friend, which is what i liked about her.
Hopefully the next chapter won't dissapoint! :) Thank you sooo much -Nic :P ;P :) :D Report Review
aww poor Molly! Are you going to continue with 1st year or are you going to skip some of them? This story is really awesome, i'm a Puff too and i was a liitle dissapointed that i was in it too but now that im there i love it! :) Im happy that Molly doesnt take after Percy's persona! Keep on writing, this story is quite good! :D xAuthor's Response: Hahaha Thank you sooo much for reviewing!! You actually made my day!!
I'm going to skip forward to the summer of going into lower sixth, but i promise lots more chapters and drama...!!
My friends where put into Hufflepuff by Pottermore and i made fun of them for ages as i was a Ravenclaw, but i do think it has more depth to it than most people think. Hufflepuff has more character than all the other houses, well i think it does anyway! :)
Thank you soo much for reviewing!!! :D Report Review
Hello! I'm here with your requested review!
I think you take on a very nice aspect -changing how people may view Hufflepuff! I especially like the title which conveys this message with ease and is fairly attractive.
I think you need to add more details and descriptions because it seems to be all dialogue at several points of the chapter.
Also, I think you need to acquire a beta as you have few technical errors here and there from typos to shifting tenses! I'm sure it's nothing that a bit of proofreading wouldn't fix.
As for your question about where to pick it up next, I think that three years later would be a better option than taking on the following day in detail and then doing the time-skip.
Keep on writing! And good luck with the rest of the story.
-MannoAuthor's Response: Thank you for reviewing!
I will go back and proofread and add in more detail like you mentioned..
I definitely think that the three-years-later thing seems to be the best way for the story to progress.
Thank you so much! :) -Nic Report Review
Hey! I stumbled upon this story when browsing this site and I couldn't help but check. It's a story about being a Hufflepuff after all (or something along those lines) :D
I like your title... It sounds really great. Hufflepuff is usually misunderstood as the house of leftovers, and I can't wait to see how you 're-define' that :D
Your Molly is lovely and likeable as character, and her internal monologue is fun to read. I particularly like it when she describes the Weasley family tradition.
I like how you describe the the way she sees the different houses banners and occupants. Though the part about Ravenclaw's student being either solitary or reading a book is too over the top for me.
This story have a nice flow and pace, but not so much for the last part. I think you kind of rush it too much after she got sorted. She was upset at the end but I felt that I missed the emotion she was feeling. I would suggest you explore more of her emotion before coming to the common room scene so readers can feel/see how her emotions build up.
I spot a few typos but it's really minor I think.
I think it's a great and promising start. I'm curious about her internal conflict about not following her family traditions and probably potential conflict between her and family/cousins? :D
Ow, and the Sorting Hat's song is fine. It's not an easy thing to do, so good job on that :DAuthor's Response: Thanks!!
I had really no idea about the song so it's super dooper-awsome to hear its not absalute trash!!
I know what you mean about the rush of it, i must change that... I will change it soon because i thought that too... i thought i might get away with it. Dang you very perceptive reader!! LOL
I was thinking of some of her family being pleased for her and some not liking she's in Hufflepuff because everyone else is in Griffindor...
I hope i redefine it so it doesnt seem like the last resort house if ya know what i mean, i'm gonna keep the good finders one because it's going to be a large part of my plot, but most of the other traits are going to be changed a lot. Take Kyle for example, he isnt very happy 24h and none of them are going to be pushovers. :)
I'm excited about this story and i'm sorry i didnt push it for the last few scenes, but i will fix it and get the next chapter up ASAP!!
So glad for your feedback!!! :) -Nic Report Review
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