It's nice and can you tell me if there are more chapters coming? Oh and please tell me your age ? Report Review
Hi, WeasleyTwins here to review - don't you just love review swaps?
First off, I would like to point out your description. I thought I was literally going to scream in delight. It's so rare to find someone who has such an amazing grasp on the element of description. To top it off, there was /so/ much of it in this one-shot - my favorite part of the story, by far. I would consider description to be your best asset as a writer.
I also really liked your use of repetition at the beginning and ending of the piece with "Drip. Drip. Drip." At the beginning, that really set the mood for the piece. It's ominous and foreboding, it's minimalist and rather ingenious - a perfect way to set mood. At the end of the piece, that repetition sent chills up my spine. It was a fabulous way to the end and brought the piece full-circle.
Furthermore, I liked your portrayal of the main character's characterization through the usage of internal thoughts, emotions, etc. Coupled with the description, I think it really played to your strengths as a writer.
I do have a suggestion, however. The newspaper clipping discussing the murder seemed a bit stilted. It was this particular sentence that really jilted me out of the story: "Witnesses say that they saw a flash of green through the windows meaning that Logan had just preformed one of the unforgivable curses, the killing curse." It doesn't sound like anything a journalist would say, to be honest - it's the last part where you say "meaning that Logan..." If I were you, I would reword that. But, it's just my opinion :)
Overall, I really enjoyed the piece and thought you did a great job!
ShelbyAuthor's Response: aww thank you so much. Having just got back from a horrible two day walk with my feet falling off, this just really made my day :) I'm please as punch that you like it. No i must re-pay the favour and send a review back you're way. Thanks again
Vicky x Report Review
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