28 Reviews Found

Review #1, by DestinyKrystal Is This All A Dream

20th July 2014:
I was really enjoying this story. I found it today and was disappointed to see that it wasn't completed or that you haven't added to it in a while! Please finish it, this is one of the most unique and amazing stories I've ever read. Please I beg you..finish it!

Author's Response: Hi,

I'm glad you're enjoying it! I hit a huge block with this and it needs editing badly as it was of my first pieces of writing. For now at least it's on hold as I'm focusing on other stories. At some point I will go back over it, as I have already edited my version of the chapters.

There is a sort of prequel (I say that because I wrote it afterwards for a challenge) to this in the form of my other story 'My Summer Of Love'. It's got Rose, Scor, Al and Phoebe all in it too. But it isn't finished either.

I will eventually at some point but for now it's on hold I';m afraid.

Thanks for reading and reviewing.

-Potterfan310


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Review #2, by RoseWeasley7 Is This All A Dream

29th April 2013:
Please update!! I've been waiting for FOREVER!

Author's Response: This is sorta on hiatus at the moment as I'm trying to finish the sort of prequel story about Rose in her teens. (My Summer Of Love, if you're intrested and it has Phoebe to.)

Chapter 6 is ready but I need to edit this to match up with the sorta prequel.

I can't specify when this will be updated but it will be updated I promise. I am not giving up on this story!!

Thanks again, glad you like it!

-Potterfan310
Sooh x :)


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Review #3, by Bethan Is This All A Dream

17th April 2013:
Great story so far, keep up the good work! :)

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing!!

-Potterfan310
Soph x


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Review #4, by Avanell 2 Is This All A Dream

4th January 2013:
Fun update, curious about the niece...I could also play on some words in this chapter but won't, lol!

Author's Response: Ahh all will be revealed...
Thanks for reviewing xx

-Potterfan310
Soph x


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Review #5, by Reader L Is This All A Dream

3rd January 2013:
Great story but please update soon :)

Author's Response: It just got updated :)

Another update might not be for awhile yet as other stuff needs to be updated :)

Thanks for reviewing
-Potterfan310
Soph x


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Review #6, by Hannah Surpise Paties, Insane Best Friends and Confessions

3rd January 2013:
I'm gonna cry!!! That's so sad and wonderful!

Author's Response: Aww *hands out tissues*
Thanks for reviewing! :D

-Potterfan310
Soph x


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Review #7, by Marauder_Weasley Welcome To America

2nd October 2012:
great story i hope they get together soon

Author's Response: Thank you and all will be revealed...
-Potterfan310 xx


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Review #8, by shadowcat2 Where It All Started

2nd October 2012:
A little birdie told me it's you birthday tomorrow! Happy Birthday in advance, Potterfan310 !
Hope you will have a fantastic birthday this year.

"Sapphie is trying to tickle me" came another.

I think this was the perfect way to introduce the twins. We barely know anything about the twins and I could already imagine two beautiful kids happily playing around. I think it was adorable.

I liked how you kept Rose's guy a mystery to us. It definitely made me curious. I liked the little touches that you have added that reminded me of the original stories, especially, the one about the nargles. I think the romantic part with the mystery guy was very sweet too.

Moreover, I really liked the relationship between Albus and Rose. I think it was amazing how Albus is ready to give up the job for Rose. That was family does.

That is all from me for now.

Happy writing.
Shadowcat

Author's Response: Thank you!! for the review and birthday wishes! :D

I'm glad you love Sapph and Henri - their too cute.

Thanks again xx
-Potterfan310
Soph xx


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Review #9, by yerawizard27 Welcome To America

10th September 2012:
Please update! There are few grammar mistakes here and there, but I'm totally loving this story! I added this to my favourites :)

Author's Response: Thank you! :D - Chapters 3 and 4 haven't been beta'd yet.

-Potterfan310
Soph x


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Review #10, by Elenia Where It All Started

19th June 2012:
(Tag!)

I love your Rose! She's so bubbly and joyous, her narrative was fun to read. You also did a great job with Al, he was very supportive and an awesome cousin for helping her out so much.

Few little spelling errors and then some punctuation errors, but they're all very easily corrected. You really should take a look at the Writer's Resources at the forums, that's really helpful when it comes to grammar! I found so many good tips there that helped me. Because good grammar always makes the reading experience more enjoyable (:

Other than that, I think this was a very nice start! Maybe try adding more a bit more description, that would improve everything even more ^^

Good luck writing!

~Elenia

Author's Response: I love Rose too, she's Brill as is Al :)

Thank you for the lovely review and I shall be off to the writer's resources now :D
-Potterfan310


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Review #11, by Jchrissy Surpise Paties, Insane Best Friends and Confessions

19th June 2012:
I think the ending is great! You have a very good concept. Rose being pregnant with twins and running away to America, not giving Scorpius a chance to make things work, just basically needing to get out, and adding Al to it is great.

I think that you really love this story, that is obvious to readers which makes it more compelling.

I do think you could benefit from a Beta (We all could, I have one too) just to help with punctuating dialogue, the flow, and simple stuff that would make it a smoother read :)!

I hope they are twin girls!!!

I also loved the emotion in the goodbye scene. You put so much of your own excitement into writing, it's great to see someone enthusiastic about their stories!

Author's Response: Thank you :D
Already got a Beta except this cahpter hasn't yet been done.

All will be revealed when she goes for her 20 week scan - coming up soon

-Potterfan310


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Review #12, by agenth Surpise Paties, Insane Best Friends and Confessions

18th June 2012:
how come Al doesn't ask who the father is?
I mean that would be the first thing to ask if someone tells me she's pregnant...

Also she's in her 4th month, with twins, doesn't anybody see her baby bump and wonder?

Author's Response: Al doesn't ask because he knows what Rose is like and that she will tell him when she's ready, but he does ask her in chapter 5.

As for the bump Rose uses a spell to make her seem thinner - This hasn't been added in it yet because it hasn't been edited

Hope this answers your questions :D
-Potterfan310


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Review #13, by Amber Surpise Paties, Insane Best Friends and Confessions

17th June 2012:
That. Was. Awesome. You should make some more of these,or atleast add to this one

Author's Response: Thank you :)
It will be updated soon in the next week, mabye 2 weeks at the latest.

-Potterfan310


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Review #14, by caoty Where It All Started

7th June 2012:
Tagged you from the common room thread~

So, first off: your Rose is lovely. Her narrative voice is chatty and fun, which is great, and I do like her a lot. Your Al is a great guy too, he's just so nice.

There are a fair few typos, a couple of formatting errors (was 'he mocked' meant to be in italics?) and a distinct lack of commas in this chapter, but that's nothing you can't improve on. Another thing: when your Rose is narrating the flashback, she'll often make comments in the present tense rather than the past tense, which is a little bit jarring.

I do wonder a) who the father is and b) why Rose decided not to have an abortion. Overall, though, this chapter was a great start to a story, and it's definitely interesting. I'd like to see what the parents think especially. :)

Author's Response: Thank you :)

I didn't realise 'he mocked' was in Italics. It shouldn't be but it's like that because of it being beta'd and I didn't notice.

a)You'll have to read on
b) why would she?

As for the parents and their reactions, well lets say it doesn't happen for a long time :)

-potterfan310


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Review #15, by Jchrissy An Emergency Shopping Trip

29th May 2012:
I think Phoebe is a very funny and creative character :)! This chapter had more detail, and your dialogue flowed naturally. That is something a lot of writers have trouble with, but your conversations didn't sound forced.

Just remember to edit and punctuate :). The correct grammar goes a long way to helping a story sound smooth.

The father has to be Scorpius, right?! :)

Author's Response: Thank you for the review :D
I love writing Pheobe and I'm glad you Like her :D

So far the 1st chapter has been beta'ed and hopefully the other 2 will follow in the next few weeks.

You'll have to read chapter 3 to find out :)

-potterfan310


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Review #16, by Jchrissy Where It All Started

29th May 2012:
I really like the idea of this story, and by the first chapter it seems that there is definitely potential!

It seems like you get excited while you are writing, which is great! Maybe you can try and pause a bit to give the story some more time to build. For instance, upon telling Al she is pregnant, I think that needed to be played out a little more. I don't think they would just say a few sentences about it then carry on. That happens quite a bit through out the chapter, like I said it just seems like you get so excited to get your ideas down you forget to add description.

I think you have a lot of passion for writing and just need to critique your style and work on editing a bit more thoroughly. This seems like it can be a very intriguing and reward plot, I hope you continue writing it! :)

Author's Response: Thanks for the review :D
Edits are on the way as it's beeing beta'ed
Thanks for the advice :)

-potterfan310


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Review #17, by rainstormsatnighttime Surpise Paties, Insane Best Friends and Confessions

27th May 2012:
That was brilliant! I really wish she would've at least told him that she's pregnant. I can't wait to find out if she loves him, and I hope he comes after her. I hope Phoebe will make more appearances later in the story, too. Awesome chapter =) Update soon! xx

Author's Response: Thank You :D
ahh it's a mystery so far ...

Phoebe does make a reapearances through out the story, she's Brill :)

I will try to update soon x
-potterfan310


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Review #18, by Dmlong Surpise Paties, Insane Best Friends and Confessions

25th May 2012:
Oh gosh I loved this chapter!!! Seeing (or reading, whatever) Rose say bye to her family and life she is used to was pretty sad, but exciting as well.

Phoebe, oh Phoebe. I just love her! Selling her best friend out for a giant slice of cake and icecream...I can't say I blame her. Cake is pretty delicious. :)

Now on to SCORPIUS! I knew he was the father!!! I love that he told Rose he loved her and wanted to be with her, but I think he ruined his chances by waiting so long. In a perfect world I'd like to imagine him going to America to find her and be with her, find out she is pregnant with his children, help her raise them and live happily ever after. I shall see though.

I really hope you update this soon. I'm dying to read more!! I'm already addicted. :))

Author's Response: Hey
Thank you for your 3 reviews they made me happy :D

I'm glad you like it and Phoebe (I mean cake is yummy of course, especially chocolate) :)

In a perfect world it might happen, but this is Rose's life complete with secrets and drama (with a lot more to come). Maybe Rose will get a happily ever after - of sorts. You'll Just have to wait and see...

Next chapter should be up in about a week as I need to update 1 of my other stories

Thank you for your lovely reviews x:D
-potterfan310


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Review #19, by Dmlong An Emergency Shopping Trip

25th May 2012:
I freaking love Phoebe! I totally wish she was moving to America with Rose and Albus. She brings life to the chapter thats for sure. :)

So does Rose not plan on ever telling her parents she's prego? Or is she just going to wait? Or will that also be revealed in another chapter? Just curious.

As previously stated, I'm guessing the daddy is Scorpius or hoping rather. I know Ron would definitely be mad that a Malfoy is the father of his grandbaby. But I will find out in a few minutes! haha

Lovely chapter. I enjoyed it & Phoebe's crazy ways! :)

Author's Response: Phoebe is Brill and I love writing her :D
Maybe Rose+Al will get a few little visits off Phoebe..wait and see

At the moment Rose hasn't told her parents, she hasn't told anyone except Al and Phoebe.
You will find out soon enough ...
Thanks for the review :) x
-potterfan310


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Review #20, by Dmlong Where It All Started

25th May 2012:
Omg I really love this so far! I definitely havent read a fan fiction like it before, so I'm sure excited to see where you take this!

I love that Al and Rose are very close. I always pictured them to have the closest relationship out of the family. I literaly laughed out loud when the doc thought Al was the father. Talk about awkward.

I'm especially glad that you have a couple more chapters posted. I'll go and read those now! :) Also, idk who the dad is (obviously lol) but I can dream that it is Scorpius, because in my head those two are just meant for each other. I'll stop rambling now though. Great chapter!! :)

Author's Response: Thank you and I'm glad you like it. :)
I always see Rose and Al the closest as well, I think their more like brother and sister than cousins.
thanks again :D
-potterfan310


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Review #21, by erinn1197 Surpise Paties, Insane Best Friends and Confessions

25th May 2012:
Very good chapter. I probably sound like a broken record but more devlopment. Its rush and confusing. And dont be mad when i say this but everything with Scorpious is unrealistix. You need to slow things down with him and add more feelings.
~Erinn

Author's Response: thanks xx
-potterfan310


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Review #22, by erinn1197 An Emergency Shopping Trip

25th May 2012:
Very good :) Yet again, I'm going to offer advice and I hop you wont be mad at my advice. More development. Everyone seems so Mary Sue (if you dont know what a Mary Sue is, google it. It can tell you more thanI can.) I'm also very lost and confused. Fix that. Like I said, more development. I hope you dont mind me giving advice. :)
~Erimm

Author's Response: thanks and advice is really good.
The reason for the chapter is so that the reader meets Phoebe her best mate who is slightly insane- hope this makes it a little clearer.
-potterfan310
p.s If you are up for it would you like to beta this?


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Review #23, by erinn1197 Where It All Started

25th May 2012:
Alright, I'm liking your idea for this story. So i hope you dont mind a bit of advice. There needs to be more development in the story. Everything seems too straight forward and rushed. Slow it down a bit. We have time. Add more description. To much dialouge can be over whelming. Also check your grammar and names of people. Like I saw some of this... 'rose Moncia Weasley' Dont forget that. Otherwise, very good story. I'm liking your idea. Now, onto to Chapter 2 :)
~Erinn

Author's Response: Thanks and the plot belongs to The_Seeker12.

This chapter had been edited and is waiting validation.

thanks again for the advice and review :)
-potterfan310
p.s how could it be slown down ?



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Review #24, by WeepingWillows Where It All Started

24th May 2012:
So far with this story, I think that you keep the reader guessing about who the father is. I think that it makes the story more of a mystery and makes the readers want to find out what happens more!

I enjoy the plot :) And Think that so far you have a great start! The only grammar errors that I noticed was punctuation, but those are easy fixes.

"Bring up the past why don't you Al[insert , here]" [I]i muttered

Sometimes using proper punctuation helps with the flow of a story :)

So it'd look like this now: "Bring up the past why don't you Al," i muttered.

I is generally always capitalized too. :) Just a little tip! I don't think it was too distracting though and I thought that you have a very interesting plotline. Keep up the good work :D

Author's Response: thanks for the review :)
and the grammar will be fixed

thanks again x
-potterfan310


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Review #25, by luvdobby26 Where It All Started

22nd May 2012:
Hi Sophie. This is great so far. I love the plot and I can't wait to find out who the dad is! I wonder how she'll cope with 2 kids. I like how you've written Rose and Al and how you've got those flashbacks, it makes it really interesting to read. :) Great job and I'll read the next chapter soon. :) xx

Author's Response: heya eilidh
thank for the review :D
You will find out who the daddy is in the next chaper (currently in the que). Glad you like it :)

Rose with 2 kids should mean a handful. I love Al when writing this, he's so sweet
xx
-potterfan310


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