GAH! This was amazing! It really was! I love reading Founders stories but I can rarely ever find any that I enjoy. This was brilliant! I loved the 2nd person POV in this story - it made the emotion more raw and believable and also made me intrigued (I love reading stories like this).
*is now off to read all of your other stories*
JasAuthor's Response: :D Oh wow, for this to be one of the only Founders stories you've enjoyed is completely mind-boggling to me, as this is like, the most neurotic Founders story I myself have ever stumbled upon...but I am glad for it! Haha--yes, I enjoy writing shorter pieces in 2nd person, and sometimes they just come out that way and I don't question it.
I'm so glad you enjoyed, thank you for the review!!
-lily Report Review
Hey Lily! I'm here for TGS Review Challenge #3!
I love the earnest honesty I read in this piece. I think Salazar has really gotten to the heart of Rowena here, in that she craves knowledge more than anything else, possibly to the point of an obsession. He hates what she does to herself in her pursuit of perfection, and yet he cannot stop loving her, chasing after her fruitlessly. I think it's so interesting how many women chase after bodily perfection, and yet Rowena wants to perfect her mind, letting her body waste away in the process.
This was great. Very haunting. Nicely done :)
-AmandaAuthor's Response: Hello, Amanda!
Yes, this is definitely an exploration of earnestness. Sometimes I feel that we'll never really know ourselves as well as people who love us, and, you're right, I think Salazar really knows Rowena.
I see Rowena as sad and somewhat cold, and I think a lot of that could be because she had an obsession, yes. And, isn't that love? On both ends--to destroy yourself chasing after something you admire and accept and want.
Thanks so much for your review! It was lovelily put and I am glad that you've read it as you have. Report Review
WHOA. I am completely speechless. I don't even -this is so beautiful and amazing. I don't even know what this is...pure amazingness or what.
The story is a beautiful tragedy, I can almost feel Salazar's frustration from where I am sitting. I'm not too sure about this, but it seems to me that he kind of hates Rowena for ignoring his love for her. And then, he points out her flaws but then he kind of commends her for it too. This is so lovely!
You have no idea how badly I want to steal your amazing skills :P (I won't!)
Recenseo 2012Author's Response: Hello!
This is technically, in my opinion, a prose poem :P But you can call it what you like.
I think that there is always that danger, that it's easy to confuse love and hate (that's not my idea either--Freud's). I'm not sure it's that she ignores him but that she ignores the things that matter in life to him. He likes material wealth and can't understand her; things could be so easy for us, he thinks--yet, this is you!
And yes. There is, in my experience, inextricable from love an admiration. Even if you sort of don't like the person, but you love them, at least, I know this is true of me--I still have to sort of stand back and be like, wow, you're absolutely something I don't understand. But lovely. I think Salazar is having these feelings for Rowena here. Or 'feels' as I like to call them, less-eloquently.
Heee. Thanks for leaving me intact, but your skills are, I am sure, more precious to you than ever mine could be.
Thank you for the review! It was lovely and a surprise :) Report Review
Simply lovely, Lily. Not much more to be said than that. I'm so impressed with your one-shots as always. I really should be giving your WIPs a chance once midterm season ends.
Love love love Rowena/Slytherin. And this is so elegant (as all of your writing is). Love the details he notices. Love the fluidity.
Excuse the rambliness of this short review. Just wanted to let you know that I read this, loved it and ahh. You are so talented.Author's Response: CELESTE. such a lovely surprise! thank you so much :)
my WIPs are fantastically different... you should arm yourself with preparedness for crack-resembling not-crack if you ever do read them.
i have always sort of shipped slytherin/rowena. i think they'd be well-matched. i know most people who ship founders ship rowena with godric but i don't see that working, as it seems like gryffindors and ravenclaws are sort of founded on opposite ideas: gryffindor is act, think if you must and ravenclaw is think, act if you must. in very over-simplified terms. slytherin seems like a broody, angsty fellow, as rowena seems arrogant and distant. they'd still be completely dysfunctional, but better than R/G.
i love the rambliness! YOU are so talented so it means a lot to me to hear your appreciation. (MUCHOS LOVES) Report Review
I just - wow.
I really don't know how to review a story like this. Everything is so intricate, and beautiful, and so incredibly deep. I could see Slytherin watching her from a distance with all these things running through his mind, while she continues on - oblivious? Maybe not. Maybe she's good at pretending like he says.
Is this the overwhelming feeling of his unrequited love? Or a love that she won't allow him to bloom? For his part, I can get a sense of his frustration - he's trying to be as truthful as possible even if some of what he says isn't flattering, yet he sort of flips it into something else. It reminds me of a song called 'Poison and Wine' by The Civil Wars - dunno if you've heard it.
'We come unknowing into life; we do not ask for it; and sometimes you ask for death...' - I love this line. It speaks volumes, and it is so so true.
I like the references to "Portrait of a Lady". It's exactly what this little one-shot is. I'm glad I got the chance to read this, I think you did a great job.
LiaAuthor's Response: My idea for this piece was that Slytherin was visiting a dying Rowena. His love is not wholly unrequited--Rowena feels as much for him as she could anybody, I think. But she doesn't really show him that, which is one of her flaws. Unfailing interiority. He's very frustrated, you're right, but also sad and desperate. He tries to console her at the end I think. I think this stems from him trying to tell her how he feels, point out her flaws, but then just revealing how much he loves her by romanticizing everything. He also despises her a bit.
I'm listening to the song right now, I hadn't heard it before. AND UM IT IS PERFECT. So good. SO GOOD OMG. Thank you for telling me about it! And yes, I think this is what S & R would sing together if they were so inclined and spoke modern english.
Thank you so much for this review, I love it! Report Review
Wow Lily.. I am always so impressed by your writing - how do I begin to describe just how.. amazing your writing is? I don't even know how to explain it, but the way you construct sentences and ideas, and well, write, is just so special and I think only very few writers on this site can achieve that kind of high standard. I really don't know how to explain it, it's just so.. deep, and there are so many similes, metaphors, and techniques you use!
When I'm finished reading this I just get this feeling of awe, since this is really a piece of art. Gahh, just basically - your writing is so descriptive, beautiful and conveys so much thought, feeling, emotions! :) Stories like this are so enjoyable to read because they're so refreshing! Just so different and unique and truly SPECIAL! :)
- charlotte :)Author's Response: Hi Charlotte! It is so wonderful to see your review!
I wrote this as a prose poem originally. Left it mostly in that state, but made it a bit easier to follow through turns.
And omg, you're wayyy too nice to me haha. I do strive to create new things, things I haven't seen before but that also are true to what I see in my heart when I see a story there.
Thank you sooo much both for the review and all your compliments...I'm sort of in awe right now and this is basically a review for the books ♥ Report Review
I am at a complete loss for words right now. Because everything I am coming out with sounds trite and discordant and colloquial. You have such a gift of maneuvering language, of shaping it and making it something beautiful and euphonic, more like a song than a poem, that comes not from study but from something you've been born with. You should always, always use this talent. I am not deserving of this gift. ♥ I am seriously completely blown away by this and I don't even know what to say anymore.
You will end at your birth. DO YOU REALIZE HOW WISE YOUR WRITING IS. And not just the book-smart, but... you understand life, and how people move and grow and LIVE. It's hard to describe without sounding unbelievably stupid but I have so much admiration for how much insight you've got. And the whole way through, I got that warm, sort of floaty feeling that comes from reading really good poetry. Because it's not just about the story told -- it's about the mood and atmosphere of the poem, and you know that more than anyone. You've nailed it.
I aspire to write like you, and I say that not because we're friends (although I am so glad we are), but because it's true. I'd say it if I'd never talked to you in my life. Thank you for writing this for me. ♥ Thank you for writing this, period.
I shall never be able to repay you for this. :3Author's Response: HELLOOO!
Okay so. I just want to say, I totally did NOT write this in hopes you would come blubber about how "good" this is or anything! I just know, that you appreciate poetry like me, and I wanted to do something for you because you have been so supportive for my writing/studying/things and I have been so inexcusably lazy with updates, sending you notes, etc.
My writing comes from a place in my heart that vomits up stuff. So. I feel it's strange; I have no social experience, yet somehow I get these /feels/ about how people work. They could be incredibly daft or stupid, but they look good on a page/computer screen at least?
Mood is something that I have never been able to set out and say, okay let's do this thing! But somehow it's very important to me. I read my stuff aloud, so that might help.
Anyway. I love you for being my friend and an amazing writer. In more ways than I've expressed to you through my blubbering reviews, I do really admire your writing and am so pleased that what yours does for me, it seems mine, somehow, does for you.
This is in no need of repay-ing (??), because it's more of a thank you. Consider it pre-repaid. Cause that's a thing.
(h) (h) (h) Report Review
Ah, Lily, this is truly amazing!
Your writing is excellent, as always; I was hanging on to your every word and wish the story never ends. Everything you write is beautiful, of course, and this one-shot is simply lovely!
"There is no technical language that can describe your intricacies." Something about this line made me read it over and over. Was I captivated or just being weird? "I see you at the end of your life moving back through the halls of your triumphs, and while they are not small, while they are spacious and fertile, you will have nothing left in you to love with." Amazing...
Hey, Lily, why don't you share your writing skills with everyone? Great great job, and I'm looking forward to reading more from you.
P.S. I've read "The Sheep Child" before...very mature indeed!
I'll have to read "Portrait of a Lady" and "Portrait D'une Femme" ("Portrait of a Woman" in French?) I'm sensing a theme, too.Author's Response: Hello Lilly!
I'm so pleased that you enjoyed this. It is probably the hope of every writer that a reader is in dialogue with the text, and it sounds like you were :) And, of course, thank you for the compliments! :P
To be totally honest, perhaps too honest haha, that line you quote, the first one, actually arose out of me wanting to use a term that came from technology, like real deal computers, then realizing that slytherin wouldn't really have had that kind of language at hand :P So. I can't actually answer your question from a knowledge standpoint, but IN MY OPINION if you were just being weird it was only in a good way :) The next part, I'm glad you like it! It wasn't quite the same; I labored over that sentence particularly, so I'm glad it stuck out, in a way.
HAh, well, I'm sure when you start posting some of /your/ writing it will be skillful enough without any of mine, but of course to speak this way is to assume that I have any to share :P I have always thought that with one-shots like this, I tend to place a lot of stock on luck.
Also, yes, the sheep child is amazing and beautiful but also deeply horrifying at the same time :D I have not actually read, ironically enough, 'portrait of a lady' by james but (and you're correct with the translation) Portrait D'une Femme is fabulous, and I can wholeheartedly recommend :)
Thanks so much for your review! I appreciate it so much. Report Review
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