Hi m'dear! I am here for the review swap, and I know it was up in the air whether your new lil baby would give you any time to review, so don't worry at all about trying to and we'll just see you the next month you're able :)
Anyway! This was an incredibly humorous first chapter, which I can just imagine sets the whole scene for the novel. I love the idea of the group (and Lucy, haha) all banning together to plot exactly how they were going to go about finding out if this guy is good enough to be part of the legendary Potter Weasley clan.
All your characters had little hints of their own personality, though you obviously couldn't spent too much time on that considering this was from Hugo's perspective. You're also throwing Molly and Lucy both way out of stereotypical head canons, and I absolutely love that. I really love Molly as The Captain.
This was an adorable, fun first chapter. You had a few typos, so whenever you get the time I think you could give it a read through to iron those out. But it was still very enjoyable :)!
Good luck with your new lil sleep destroyer ;)! Report Review
Oh gosh, if Fred is anything like his father, this could be a tough one. *goes to see what Fred's challenge is*
The constant references to Hugo's owl are beginning to amuse me.
And that comment that Hugo has to learn to lie in the next minute is a nice touch. It gives us an insight into how difficult he finds it to lie.
When Lily is saying she wants to be kept in the loop, it'd sound better if she said it "leads me to believe that only THEY are involved" instead of "only THEM".
Hugo has a thing about Teddy killing people. It's like a recurring gag and like the owl, it's quite amusing.
The comment about needing a representative of Uncle Percy's family should have a full stop at the end, before "Lily shrugs it off".
And you misspelled "strength" as "strenght".
It's pretty unfair to expect Killian to beat them at something they're the best in the school in in order to date Molly. If they are looking for somebody who's best in the school at everything, then nobody is really likely to pass their tests and what are they going to do? Sabotage every relationship she's in just because her boyfriends are good at different things than her cousins are?
And it's rather amusing that Hugo's friends can think of something for him to challenge Killian at when he can't. It makes sense though. It's often easier to see what other people are good at than what we are ourselves, because it's considered arrogant to focus on what you are good at.
*laughs at everybody saying it's typical of them* I'd say both good pranksters and simply crazy. Expecting somebody's boyfriend to be able to beat you at whatever your best at isn't being protective of them; it's not like eating a lot or playing chess well makes you a good boyfriend. It's just crazy.
You've written "quarter till seven" when it would be more usual to say "quarter TO seven". I've never heard "till" used in that context.
And you've described Molly and Killian as being like "a king and queed" instead of "a king and queen".
Good question, Killian. What will it prove? I think at this stage, even if he loses a challenge, he's proved himself worthy of their approval. Most people wouldn't have been such good sports and honestly, if he didn't care about her, he'd just have said "this is ridiculous, Molly. Either you sort things out with your cousins or this is over."
I like the rules you've established for the duel. They make sense.
And Umbridge kept the class silent for entire class periods, but luckily for Hugo, he hasn't experienced her.
You've said Hugo can feel the "excitation" when it should be "excitement".
I like the way you've given Killian a reason why he won both the duel and the Quidditch battle - being good at capitalising on his opponents' weak spots. He could come across as a bit of a Gary Sue if he just outplayed them every time, but I think you've avoided that pitfall by drawing attention to the fact that Fred was better than him in a lot of ways; he's just good at noticing and taking advantage of weak spots. Report Review
The question about who would eat something with "kidney" in it's name amused me.
A hot dog eating contest? *dies laughing* Yeah, right, like eating less than Lucy really proves he's a poor boyfriend. They do come up with the most insane things.
It's would probably be better to put a full stop after Killian says "Sure I do" instead of a comma, since he doesn't exactly smile what he is saying.
Love the detail about the first years climbing up on the tables.
I also like the insight we get into the personality of the commentator.
Honestly, though, it'd be pretty nasty and spiteful to try and ruin your cousin's relationship just because her boyfriend doesn't eat enough.
When you've written "Louis never mumbles", you've run "Louisnever" all in together.
And wow, I hope that wasn't true. That would be dreadful - eating poorly transfigured slugs.
Molly is clever though, to get Killian to win the challenge that way. That was an amusing solution. I was expecting him to just best them in each of the challenges, but I think this is better, because it means they aren't all just ending the same way.
That comment about measuring how much they've each eaten if they stop at the same one amused me for some reason. Just how seriously they are taking this, I guess.
When Killian is finishing his sixth hot dog, you've said that "the crow now encourages him loudly", rather than "the crowd".
And in the following paragraph, you've written "Killian Earhart has begun IS seventh hot dog" instead of "his". Report Review
Just occurred to me that this story is from Hugo's point of view as well.
Oh, wow, the wizarding world is in the dark ages, here isn't it? Even when I was at school, it was only the older teachers (the ones approaching retirement age, so they'd have qualified in about the 1940s) who thought learning to keep house was important for girls. The middle aged and younger ones were all like "ye can be whatever ye want nowadays. It's not like when I was young and we were expected to be nurses and teachers."
I bet Hermione is having a fit over those lessons. I'd imagine she's starting a campaign to have those same spells taught to boys.
That part about sitting in the long grass and how they weren't exactly doing homework amused me.
I'm with Eliana here. A guy who rolls his eyes and tells them it's none of their business who Molly dates and that he's not going to get involved in their silly games isn't necessarily unworthy of her. And I'm not sure what playing Quidditch is supposed to prove.
Plus I wonder what they intend to do if Killian fails their tests. Are they going to go to Molly and be like "you can't go out with him because he failed our tests." I'd say she'd laugh in their faces. I mean, seriously, "don't go out with him because he can't beat a Beater with Bludgers". *cracks up* I really don't think they've thought this through.
I like the way Hugo sees himself as the weakest link and is kind of unsure of what he's doing. I'm guessing something is going to happen when he challenges Killian Report Review
Opening sentence sets the scene here well.
I also like the way you tell us the character is in Ravenclaw without labouring the point.
One mistake I've noticed: you've written "next time I get and owl" rather than "next time I get an owl".
The part about the owl being mischievous amused me.
*laughs at Binns being predictable* That's very much in-character for him. He's so boring, I'd imagine the homework he sets would be boring too. Wonder if he'd notice if the students didn't do it. I rather doubt it.
Wonder what Lucy has been through. Having Percy as a father, perhaps!
And Hugo's being a bit dramatic, assuming Teddy plans to murder them.
I wonder how he got permission to enter the school though. If a teacher knew he was coming back, they'd probably think it a bit weird. Especially if he then just disappeared.
We're learning quite a lot about the various cousins from Hugo's ponderings on whether or not to save them. That's a pretty clever way of introducing them to us.
*laughs* The Weasleys look after each other, all right, but it's also pretty dismissive to assume that they know what's best for Molly better than she does. If I was Molly and I found out about this, I'd be pretty annoyed. And if I were their parents, I'd be having a talk with them about sexism and how it's respectful to wait and see if somebody wants or needs your protection rather than just assuming you know best.
*laughs at the comment that Louis's smile indicates that he's untrustworthy* I'm interested in his character here. He is one of the characters that fandom doesn't seem to have pinned a personality on. I mean, James is often portrayed as being like his grandfather, Albus as insecure, Fred as a prankster, Lily as rather like Ginny, Lucy and Molly as either taking after their father or else as feeling like failures because they don't live up to his expectations. But Louis doesn't seem to have a stereotype.
Yeah, I wouldn't like to be Killian either. I sort of hope Molly finds them out and makes them suffer for the way they are treating him. Report Review
Hi! Maggie here from review swap!
So I picked this story hoping that it would make me laugh, and so far it's definitely accomplishing that. I love that you picked Hugo as the narrator, because his voice is great fun to read, and I like experiencing this from his point of view. I can't wait to see what happens when Hugo has to confront Killian :)
As for Killian, he seems like a great guy and a good sport, so I think he'd be the perfect choice to join the Weasley ranks. But of course the boys have to make sure of that in the most hilarious way possible.
Thanks so much for swapping with me! I loved reading this, and I'm so glad to have found it. I'll definitely be reading on!
--MaggieAuthor's Response: Hi and sorry for the late answer!
I'm so glad you chose this story to reivew, it's one I enjoyed writting a lot and definitly one of the most humoristic I have :)
Killian is a great guy, he just fell in love with a girl that has a crazy family, that's all! But he's a good sport so he'll play along. The boys (and Lucy) are all testing him to make sure he'd be a good Weasley and that he will fit in well with their family.
I'm really glad you enjoyed this story so far, thanks again for the review! Report Review
Tagging you from the Review the Person Above You thread in the common room!
Wow, I can't believe how long it's been since I read and reviewed chapter 1! At the time, I don't think there was a chapter 2, so it's neat to come back to this.
You kept Hugo's sense of humor really on point throughout this. His jokes were ironic and self-deprecating, definitely well-written for the way you've set up his character.
So the humor surrounding the, um, stains that Hugo's friend Eliana learned to clean... This is just a matter of personal preference, but I think you could have been just fine without that. It's kind of yuck. It doesn't really detract from the story, but I wouldn't say that it adds, either. There, I've said my piece on that and we'll move right along.
I really liked Eliana's observation on how she'd feel if she were in Molly's position. Somebody had to say it. Molly does more or less say it later in the chapter, but since she's the victim in this grand scheme she can't really be completely objective. She also had a pretty good point about Killian's ultimate success or failure not being an infallible predictor of whether he's well suited to date Molly. But there is a Weasley Way of doing things, and it must be observed!
Wow. Killian was really a good sport about things. I suppose it doesn't hurt that he's played the position for 4 years. The Weasley guys really are idiots, aren't they?
You did a good job weaving the narrative of what's going on in the duel into the conversation between Hugo, Eliana and Molly. It all felt really smooth and engaging.
So I noticed two little typos that you might want to take a second look at:
-- "Unless there’s a new snoging class that I have not been informed of." - snogging
-- "Al eyes are rolling in their sockets in a pretty disgusting way when he gets to his feet and his jaw is definitely wrong." - Al's eyes
Overall, a good continuation of a very unique, interesting idea! I'll be back for more!Author's Response: Hi!! And welcome back!
Ah yes, the disgusting joke at the begining. Not my idea but it made people laugh a lot so I kept it there. I work with teenagers that are about 12 and this is the type of jokes I am faced with everyday...
Eliana's part in this chapter is to be Molly's voice because Molly doesn't get her chance to talk much or let her cousins/ sibling know how she feels. And you are right, she probably wouldn't be very objective either!
Of couse it wouldn't change anything to wether or not Molly and Killian would be in love but do Weasleys really care about that? No, they don't; they just want to make their opinion heard and I think they like tormenting random people a little too!
Killian thinks this is all a joke and I don't think he felt a real treath coming from Al, a 13 years old boy. He just decided to play along but it also is a part of his personality; he'll really enjoy these confrontations with the Weasleys because to him, this won't have an impact on his relation ship with Molly. He loves her and is fairly confident that she loves him too.
And yes, they are idiots. They jumped into this and kind of forgot to gather more informations about their "ennemy". That will come back and haunt them pretty soon!
Thanks for pointing out the typos, I'll get on them as soon as possible. And thanks for this lovely review, I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter, no matter the horrible little jokes in there!! Report Review
nice chapters u know i use to check this story in a week to see it updated or not.
amazing flawless chapters.i think molly must have convinced james to play chess and he too understood that killian is a good choice.
waiting for teddy...:)
10/10Author's Response: Really? There were still people checking for updates? That really touches me a lot :)
I'm really sorry it took so long; master writer's block got in the way and I pretty much abandonned writing but suddently, an idea hit me and I was able to write 3 chapters in a week! Only one left and it's a bit harder to write (I have a hard time with conclusions!) but it's coming soon, do not worry; it certaintly won't take as long!
I'm really pleased that you enjoyed the new chapters and although I already have my reason as to why James did what he did, I have to admit that the idea of Molly asking him would have been a great plan as well.
Thanks again! Report Review
Only one more to go and I can't wait to see what Teddy's up to! This was a very original idea, congrats to you for pulling it off beautifully!
Now that I reached the final (published) chapter I have a few things I would like to comment on:
First of all, the story has a nice flow, there are no pauses and no sudden changes in the pace of the story and that's very good, because I as a reader am less likely to lose interest in what your characters are doing.
Second, I noticed a few spelling mistakes but nothing too big, or something a spell - check couldn't fix. From what I could tell you have very good grammar and your sentences are nicely structured.
And last but not least, congratulations for the original idea and the lovely story! I can't wait to read the final chapter!
Author's Response: Yes! Only one more to go!! It's being written right now and I do hope it's going to be good (I'm really not sure right now...).
Wow, you have no idea how much these comments touched me. This rythm and pace was a brand new experiment for me with this story so I'm really happy it worked. I also like the straight to the point type of story and this is the type of story that doesn't need too much details about the characters or backstory so I thought it was the perfect fit to try it.
The spelling mistake will be looked over as soon as I find a beta! English isn't my first language (it's French) and although I think I'm getting better at writting in English, there are still a lot of errors that slip through my read because I just don't know that they are errors! So you really made me happy with this comment; it makes me feel like all the efforts I put in are showing and that is always good!
Thank you so, so much for these amazing reviews. I'm just so pleased with how you reacted to the story and it gives me motivation to finish this last chapter quickly. Report Review
That was so uncool of him! I can't believe he would do that! Now poor Hugo is back to square one.
I always felt that James was the most egotistical out of all the children. He might take after his grandfather. That's something James Potter Senior would pull in his early years.
Can't wait to see what you have planned for Hugo!Author's Response: You know, I think you are right. James probably is the most egotistical of all the children but, he does have a good reason to do this. Right now though, he just looks like a really bad player, just like his Potter grandfather used to when he was younger.
I don't see him as mean (usually) but more like someone who won't think of the consequences of his actions, or won't think that his decision might hurt someone in the process.
He did put Hugo in a bad situation though, and I hope you'll like what's in store for him! Thanks again for the review! Report Review
He is a God! And he has his father's modesty! =)
I liked your portrail of Louis very much. I think he is somehow overlooked in NextGen stories, but we have to remember he is part Veela so he may have been very popular.
The description of the dance contest was very good, it made me feel like I was there with them. Good job!
Also, the fact that you revealed Killian is Muggleborn makes him a perfect addition to the family. After all, Grandpa Weasley would never forget her if she married a pureblood.Author's Response: Well of course he's got his father's modesty! He is Ron's son afterall!! But reality catches up with him a little faster than it did for Ron though :)
I'm so glad you like the way I see Louis. He's very mysterious to me and I have practically never read a story with him so I don't even know how others perceive him either. But I was thinking along the same lines as you; part Veela so charismatic; son of Bill and Fleur so most likely good looking. That usually equals "popular" in high school!
The dance contest was one of the last ideas I got; I didn't know what Louis would do until the very last moment. Then I remembered Fred and Angelina dancing at the Yull Ball like they were alone on the dancefloor and that's how I got the idea. Of course, this doesn't apply to all Weasleys (Ron being an excellent example) but hey, Louis can lie a little, right?
Yes, Killian is muggleborn especially because of how happy this would make Arthur!!
Molly had better marry him when this is all over. The things the poor guy has to go through. It's like trying to date inside the Mafia.
This chapter I felt was a more serious one, maybe because of the nature of the challenge or maybe because of what Fred said about fighting to protect loved ones. It's just what his uncle did and... I can't think about that! *sob*
Now I'm really curious if Hugo will challenge him to a chess game or if they will do something else.
Lovely chapter, nice job!Author's Response: Hahaha! That was the best description ever! Trying to date inside the mafia is exactly how I imagine this!!
I'm glad you picked up on all of that. Yes, this chapter was meant to be heavier considering all that the Weasleys, among other people, have lost during the war. Fred, especially, must have felt the effects of the war all of his life because of his father so he was the perfect person to challenge Killian on that.
Thanks again! Report Review
Low blow, Molly Weasley. That was under the belt. Though if she is related to Ron Weasley, odds are she could literally eat a horse. Or a hippogriff.
This was the most amusing chapter yet. The eating contest between Killian and a girl was a very original idea. I like how your chapters are very straight to the point, you don't get lost in pointless details.
The line I liked best was the one in which Lucy called her grandma G-Mom. =)
Keep up the great work!Author's Response: The odds are definitly in Lucy's favor for this challenge! But, who can blame Molly really? I mean, the poor girl has to put up with these crazy people who decided that is was totally ok to decide wether the guy she sees is good enough!
The eating contest was the main reason why I wanted Lucy to be a part of this competition. It needed to be a little girl that confronted Killian with food, otherwise, the effect wouldn't have been the same, I think.
G-Mum has been around for a while in my other stories and it makes me laugh everytime. Of course, it was George that suggested the kids should call Molly like that and of course, the name stuck :)
Thanks again for the review, I'm really pleased that you enjoy my little story ! Report Review
I can't stop laughing! This was so funny! =)
While reading, especially the line with which Albus challenges Killian, I could picture Ginny and Hermione making faces at them.
Also, Hugo's reaction to the end of the confrontation was hilarious. "I'm the weakest link!"
I'm really happy you decided to have the whole story told through Hugo's POV, it'll be interesting to see how he reacts to the other confrontations.
Good job with this chapter!Author's Response: I could picture them too! As well as Molly, most definitly rolling her eyes at Albus at that moment!
Hugo is very insecure about his postion in the family, what with being the only Weasley NOT in Gryffindor, he feels like he doesn't have the same strenght of character as the others. But that's also what is so much fun to play with; he is seing the Gryffindors in a different point of view and it's not always in their favor either.
I'm so glad you like it so far, thanks again for the lovely review! Report Review
Hello review exchange partner! =)
First, I really like the idea that you have going on in this story, even though I'm not familiar with the second series. That being said, I find Hugo to be so funny.
Of course one of Hermione's children will be a Ravenclaw. Boys do take after their mothers. My favorite thing about this first chapter is how you described each of the Weasley children through Hugo's eyes, by having him make the decision of who to save. The whole monologue he had going on was very entertaining.
All in all, I enjoyed this first chapter and can't wait to read more!
RalAuthor's Response: Hi!
You don't need to be familiar with the Scott Pilgrim story to understand this story; you'll see, it's pretty straight forward!!
Yes, Hugo is the smart and ackward type of boy and takes after his mother a lot but he still has the Weasley streak in him!
I'm glad you enjoyed the way I chose to introduce the relatives; they are all different and fun but through the eyes of a slightly crazy teenager, they became even more enjoyable!!
I'm glad you liked the first chapter! Report Review
I like this story a lot!!
All your characters are very entertaining and the challenges are quite ingenious. Waiting for the next chapter!!Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to review! I'm glad you like the story so far and that you like the challenges I came up with to test Killian!
Next (and last!) chapter is being written right now! Thanks again!! Report Review
:O Oh my goodness! What a horrid move on James' part .___. I usually like James, but crikey! JDKAFL That's so mean D: KSLJLS WHAT'S HUGO GOING TO DO? (I'm going to spend all night thinking about it now ;) Oops) Keep writing! I'm really curious to see what Hugo does :D
NaNo mummy; Emily xxAuthor's Response: Hi mummy!!
Don't be too hard on James, he had his reasons to do this :)
Hugo will us this to his advantage after a horribly stressful night, I promise! You won't have to wait too long for it either since the next chapter in already in the queue (which I, myself, cannot believe yet).
I'm glad you enjoyed my story so far and thanks so much for stopping by. So far, your encouragements are definitely the reason why this story has been picked up again and I keep writting at the rate I am! Thanks !! Report Review
Hey there, I'm still reading!
This chapter was... wow. Talk about tension! Silly James, not knowing how to play chess. I feel like he didn't want to be outshone by his little cousin beating Killian when he couldn't, because he got a little nervous there.
One more to go! I can't wait to find out what Hugo's going to do now!
~SaraAuthor's Response: Hi *waves happily*!!!
I can't believe people are still reading this after so long!! I'm really sorry about taking so long to write the rest of this story but now, I've really picked it up (see, two new chapters already posted and the next one, Hugo's turn, is in the queue as I write this).
Haha, I'm glad you liked my little trick! There is a reason behind James' move; doesn't make it right but at least it explains why he did it. Poor Hugo though, he'll go through a stressful night, I can tell you that!
I hope you'll enjoy what's coming next and I can't tell you how happy I am that you reviewed this chapter; it really brightened my day! Report Review
Hi, there! Thanks so much for doing your part to help Gryffindor take the cup! Here is your review.
Alright, let's get this right out in the open from the get-go. I've never seen Scott Pilgrim Vs The World. Given everything I know about you, this is probably a well-nigh unforgivable sin in your eyes. Nevertheless, you're going to have to either forgive me or have the Staff remove this review for being "sinfully unaware of the precise, underlying details which link this chapter to the greatest movie of all time which only a barbarian of sorely limited intellect would have failed to see in the theater and also own the deluxe Blu-ray edition with the theatrical trailers, cast and director interviews and all out-takes and bloopers." See, we're communicating! I feel better already.
Even though I haven't seen the movie, I find the premise of this incredibly interesting. I know what you're thinking. "Of course it's interesting! Just see the movie, idiot!" Now, now. That's not communicating, that's yelling inside your head. Just when I thought we were making progress here...
As I was saying, the premise is very, very interesting. So many diverse personalities in the Weasley clan, about to discover and be discovered by this relatively unknown entity. I thought the way that Lucy started to characterize the various boys by their eyes was actually an interesting beginning to how the different confrontations might play out. But I'm also getting ahead of myself.
Hugo's anxieties about Lily and the way that he shuts himself away in the Ravenclaw common room to deal with them started to give me some good ideas about our narrator. He seems a bit awkward, definitely somewhat overshadowed by his older, more outgoing cousins, and dependent, in a way, on his best friend Lily. In other words, just like my own headcanon Hugo. Uncanny...
The hours he spends in the common room were hilarious. He seems like the quintessential Ravenclaw, right down to doing his homework in advance. The way he completely overthinks the meeting that Teddy has called was cleverly done and reinforces most of what I've been thinking about him. Without Lily to talk him down, his anxieties run off with him.
"The strangest ideas are coming to mind right now including the fact that Clarica Devonly, who is sitting at the table next to mine, is beginning to look like she’d make a nice meal." - Brilliant!
I like the presence you've created for Teddy in this piece. As the elder member of this generation of the extended Weasley-Potter clan, he both commands and revels in the adoration of his younger peers. It's admirable, I guess, that he still sees it as his role to spearhead this noble effort to insure that Molly's new love interest is worthy. Also a bit sad that he would be, what, 22 or so in this story and he's still sneaking into the Room of Requirement. I find him mercurial almost to a fault.
I loved Hugo's inner debate on which of his cousins to save from Teddy's imaginary killing spree.
You've done a great job of taking the various Weasley/Potter cousins and beginning to develop their characters in various directions. Lucy, the insightful one. James, the slightly clueless mischief-maker. Louis, the devious one. Freddy, Mr. Smooth. Al, the bumbling but good and loyal friend. And Teddy, the ringleader with some sort of Peter Pan complex.
I liked the sense of formality surrounding the rules and the spirit of fair play. That really adds something, for me. It makes this all seem more serious and less silly, even though it's clearly silly inasmuch as I'm sure Killian's reaction will, at least at first, be along the lines of "what's wrong with you people?"
OK, see how well we communicated once you stopped yelling inside your head? Wasn't that great? Even without knowing a thing about the movie aside from what I've learned from your forums avatar, I have this new appreciation for a small aspect of what the movie might be about, assuming I've understood everything correctly and haven't missed any important details in your story. There you go yelling inside your head again...
Your writing was terrific in this. It all flowed very nicely and I couldn't find any typos or grammatical problems. I feel like I would like to read more of this story. We'll see how bad our fellow housemates kill my free time with their enthusiasm for reviewing podcasts! Until next time...Author's Response: Alright, this was probably the most hilarious review I have ever received !! You definitly don't know me if you think I'd yell at you for something so trivial as not knowing a movie BUT, I would definitly pester you day and night about it though. Bringing you my copy of the movie and offereing you to take it for a couple days; dropping hints like "oh and remember when... oh no, you haven't seen the movie so you DON'T remember..."
Honestly, this story is based on the Scott Pilgrim story, meaning it's a similar storyline but honestly, it stops there. In the movie, the boy has to battle his new girlfriend's seven exes when here, it's the evil/possessive relatives. So you see, you don't need to know the movie to understand this story!!
Hugo is such a great character to me and I have absolutly no idea why! It is kind of strange that we have the same head canon about this character though; are you sure you aren't taking trips into my mind (I'm starting to wonder since you seem to hear me yell at you in my head as well...).
Teddy's presence isn't quite explainable but the Peter Pan complex is probably the best way to go. To me, Teddy has given himself a role in this family; he may not be a blood relative but he will make such an impression of these people that they will have no choice but to accept him as such. This is probably unconscious of him to act like that but he is thinking along those lines.
Your comment about my writting really touched me. I was really trying for something different in this story and I'm so glad it worked. You are one of the rare people that have pretty much read everything I wrote on here so what you think, see and understand of my writting means the world to me. Thanks again for taking a long time writting this and making me laugh out loud with your crazy comments!! Report Review
I'm writing this review for the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th chapters. First of all, at the beginning I expected Killian's reaction to the overwhelming Weasley family to be a little taken back. I thought he'd hesitate but he didn't which is proving that Killian may seriously have what it takes. Lucy's duel was positively hilarious. I love how she just barges in there and challenges him to above all things A HOT DOG EATING CONTEST! It is one of the things I would least expect from Lucy but it was great. Molly's devious mind trying to distract Lucy was great and Killian once again proves his worth the way he turned a shade of green but still eats the next bite. Fred's duel was great and I like how Mirabella is portrayed. It definitely shows a more fair side to the Slytherins. That's all for now I guess. 10/10 and definitely going in my favoritesAuthor's Response: Hi again and sorry for the delay in my response.
Killian takes it as a joke at first. I think after being at school for seven years with a bunch of Weasleys, he already knows them by reputation. Plus, the fact that they care about his being with Molly means that they take him and his relationship with Molly seriously (which, by extention means Molly probably does as well).
Lucy's duel was the most fun to write. A hotdog eating contest was just so silly that it HAD to be done! Afterall, Weasleys are well known eaters, right?
The duel was also a lot of fun to write because of the action and the pace of it. I didn't want it to drag though, or feel like it's too easy. I'm glad you liked the small part of Mirabella, it's not big but it definitly shows that the House wars are a tad less intense in thenext generation.
I'm glad you enjoyed and put this in your favorite; as soon as my writer's block breaks (it's been months now, we should be seeing the end of it, right? ) I will keep this going, I promise! Report Review
The story is better than the title promises .Hope you update soon. Simple , straight forward and thoroughly enjoyableAuthor's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing and I'm glad you enjoyed. Report Review
Poor Killian, no, what am I saying? Poor Molly. What if her and Killian break up? No other guy is going to date her, they won't want to go through all that. It's annoying.
It does make for a very humorous tale though doesn't it? :) This was a great chapter as usual and I can't wait for the next one. :)Author's Response: Hi and so, so sorry for the delay. I've been having the most anoying block and it's so bad, I don't even come to the archive anymore, not even to read... I've kicked myself and decided that answering reviews might shake me out of this, I hope it'll work...
You are so right, poor Molly. Those crazy cousins meddling into her life like that! I think the real problem here is that no guy will ever want to date any of the Weasley girls anymore!! It's not just Molly, these boys are here to protect their girls, all of them, but only when they find the right guy. They won't go and fight any boy that dates their female cousins, just the serious ones!
I'm glad you liked this chapter and, like I said, major writting block over here so the next chapter, altough it has been half written for over two months, I have no clue when it'll come. Which is sad because this story is all outlined already, I just need to fill in the blanks with words but words aren't my friends these days... Thanks so much for this review and I'll let you know when I break free! Report Review
Does it mean one day I'll have to prove myself to my cousins?
Aw. That would be so sad. Hahaha. Hugo is the cutest thing ever. He reminds me of Ron a bit.
I really liked this chapter (and the last one) but the duel was a lot of fun because it had a lot of action. It was so fast paced when I got to the end I was like, 'Aw man! Already?!'
I'm starting to like Killian myself. He's quite the clever boy. I think Hugo, if he's really a great chess player, he'll let Killian win. He seems to like him.Author's Response: Wow, sorry about the delay in responding... I've been having a major, major block and it's so bad, I don't even come to the archive anymore. I've decided that answering reviews could possibly get my muse back into action; we'll see how it goes, waiting anxiously (at least I will be!).
Thanks so much for this review and I'm glad youliked that chapter. It was my favorite one to write so far as well but kind of complex as well. Trying to keep it entertaining and "visual" for the reader was a task in itself and I'm very happy to see that it seemed to go alright!
Killian is a good guy, there's no doubt about that.And what's more is that he really likes Molly so he will do anything to prove that he is worth it, although the way he sees it, doing "anything" mostly means putting up with those strange cousins of hers with a good attitude!!
Half of the next chapter has been written for over two months now but I can't finish it and I do hope that I will finally break free soon and be able to give you the rest of this story. Thanks again, I really appreciated your review :) Report Review
this story is brilliant! It's so original! I haven't read anything like it (I know you got the idea from Scott Pilgrim but you've done it really well)!
Can't wait to read more!
9/10 :DAuthor's Response: Thanks so much for this awesome comment; you really made me happy :)
The idea is totally taken from Scott Pilgrim but I thought it was completely adapted to the next generation but it's fun to adapt it to the magical world instead of the "video game" world of the Scott Pilgrim storyline.
I'm glad you enjoy and hope you'll keep on reading the next chapters! Thanks again for taking the time to give me a smile !! Report Review
Hey here I am with the review from the review tag!
I really really love the concept of this story because it is just nice to see that the next generation weasleys/potters would be so close and able to just call male meetings for them to gather!
I love Teddy being the ringleader of it all because he seems to be an authoritive character who has influence over all of the next gen characters.
I liked how you first introduced Hugo with the interaction with his owl. It showed simply how much he was detached from the situation in the main hall and I liked how the letter seemed to snap him out of his unfazed state. Also the interation with her owl made me laugh so much!
I love the idea of testing this guy out just because it sounds absolubtely hilarious and I actually can't wait to see what they do to him! Your humour in this is just amazing and it was a nice thing to read to brighten up my day! I can't wait to see what happens afterwards!Author's Response: Hey Summer!
I'm glad you like this new story; it's different from my previous stories but I like it a lot as well!
The idea of the Weasley/Potter clan having meetings was always present for me; I like to think that they would stick together and just keep up with news about the other's lives. I know this is a tradition with me and my cousins; we try to see each other about once every three months, just to catch up a bit. Doesn't mean we are all great friends but we are a family and we never want to forget that :)
Hugo is a character I love so much, without real reason but he just wrote himself. The crazy owl, well, that seemed like a necessary part! All owls cannot be as great as Hedwig was now can they?
Thanks again for your kind words, I'm glad you enjoyed this first chapter and this review really brightened MY day :) Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection