The title and summary caught my eye, as most fics with Molly do.(See my name, you'll understand). I always admired her, as we of the same age. That admiration increased byloads seeing how she took Harry in and treated him as her 7th son, and her ridding the Magical world of Trixie. I admit I needed to suspend belief a bit. If Molly was looking for the children, she needed to look no further than her amazing clock.
Suspending that belief, I could see all the Weasley sibs trying to do just this for their parents. It's an incredible loving gesture by kids with little experience of cooking and so on. Deep down you can see just how touched Molly was.
FoMAuthor's Response: Thank you! The Weasley's are my favorite family in both the fictional and real world. I always liked how loving Molly was to her kids and I'm glad that you like my story. Report Review
This is definitely something I'm going to add to my favourites! Molly's thoughts and worries at the start definitely mad me think something was terribly wrong, as if they'd been kidnapped or a death-eater attack or something.
Then they're just trying to surprise their parents; that's something I can see the Weasley kids doing.
A quick correction on a small spelling mistake; you wrote "It was quit at the Burrow. Too quiet." I think you meant to write, quiet. It's nothing mayor and most minds would automatically transform it into quiet when reading it. I just though I'd tell you.
Another thing I noticed;"[...]Thought one of the children were in danger.” You specified one of the children and then used the plural of were. I do realize this might have been a deliberate grammatical error, as a way to give more personality to Molly's dialogue. It's just not something I would imagine her saying.
I'm not trying to be to critical here, it's just small things I noted, and I do realize you posted this 9 months ago. But, you revised your Arthur story, and I didn't know if you were planning to go over your other stories.
I'm also not sure whether the dialogue being double-spaced is something HPFF demands or whether it was your lay-out. Though I do want to say that it makes stories way easier to read.
When on the topic of dialogue; I wondered whether or not telling the reader whom is saying the last lines would be an improvement. Although, on second-thought it is quite clear to me who says what. It might just not be so for anyone else.
I did tell you that I would review some of your other works, and leave one of these long ramble reviews.
Another question, (oh god, she's still not finished), aren't firecrackers a muggle thing? Not saying you're wrong, I was merely wondering.
[I re-read your story once more.]
Wouldn't Molly, being a pure-blooded witch, be using the exclamation "Merlin!". It's just that I imagine her going like, "Merlin, where are these children." and then have the Weasley twins say something about Merlin's underwear when their mother walks into the kitchen.
With her having to reprimand them.
:)Author's Response: Thank you for your review! I will go back and fix the errors, also probably add more content. Thank you for such a thought out examination of my story. You're an excellent reviewer! Report Review
I loved your story. It is sweet. And I'm so glad... nobody got hurt!!!Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. Report Review
awhh that was very cute!Author's Response: Thank you! I'm not sure how good I am at writing fluff pieces, but I'm glad you liked it! Report Review
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