Great story! The syntax and vocabulary can be a bit childish at times, but that actually makes it better, since Lily only just turned 12. As far as plot goes, it's quite good. I love your characters and relationships. I'm not sure if the whole Lily-Alice friendship is strictly cannon, but it is really good (very realistic) regardless.
I look forward to reading more. Keep up the good work!Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! I'm pleased you liked it. It's not my best, but I wrote it like a year and a half ago, and I've improved since then. And about the Lily-Alice thing - I wanted Lily to have a friend that people would recognize as the story progressed (since I'm planning to make it link more with the books as it goes on), and Alice fitted the bill.
Thanks for the review! :D Report Review
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