Oh my Helga.
You're a genius. I'm all tense and nervous and terrified for Hermione and Rose and at the same time I'm snorting into my tea at all these random zombie tropes popping up here and there. And I don't know how many times I've stopped to reread a passage, and think, "This is mindblowing."
I mean, really.
She knew she'd never get there in time, but she elbowed zombies out of the way.
AHAHAHAHA this reminds me of all those movies where the heroes just realise that their guns or weapons aren't doing the job so they chuck them aside and start charging at the whole mob of bad guys and attacking them with bare hands. But your fic is way cooler. Because it's HERMIONE ELBOWING ZOMBIES OUT OF THE WAY. PAH MAGIC IS OVERRATED. I will not sleep tonight thinking about this scene.
And I'm sure everybody has ooh-ed and aah-ed over this, but RAMBO SCORPIUS ♥ ♥ OMG.
A tall, blonde man emerged from the shadows, a large shotgun strapped around his broad chest. Rose broke down upon seeing him.
BAHAHAHAHH I would break down sobbing too if I saw Rambo Scorpius. I assume he was shirtless in this scene because of the zombies or whatever.
I saw this old gun and recognized it from some conversations I'd had with Rose. I picked up the gun and some Ammo, which I'm still not entirely sure how to work, and then decided that I’d try to come to Hogwarts. I never dreamed it’d be like this.
Oh my lawd, Scorpius picks up a gun from nowhere when he needs it most and has some sort of flashback to a conversation he had with Rose and suddenly he's a wicked shot. Going around and snarling, "Let's murder these sons of (dogs)." Oh gods. You transition from horror to cracky stuff in an instant and it's just blaskjoifhasihd brilliant.
And then of course, if things couldn't get better (or worse), we have zombie!Dumbledore roaming the streets. Oh my god. You're the best.
Awesome. And sorry for this absolutely rubbish review in which I said nothing helpful.
-tehAuthor's Response: Oh my goodness I am so excited that you liked this chapter so much! This is one of my favorites, and I know that it's a little ridiculous and over the top with Scorpius finding a gun, but I just could not help myself. It was so absurd, it just had to work.
I love Rambo Scorpius, but I also love Rose in this chapter, because she just kind of freezes up and freaks out, so I liked writing this little "romantic" sub plot in spite of the zombies.
And yes, zombie!Dumbledore, I love it. I knew this is what I had to do, it just felt right. I'm glad that you agree. I'll have alot of fun with him in the future.
Thank you so very much for your continued reviews, I really appreciate your thoughts here, you are awesome!!
Hello Ashley! So...I remembered that I owed you some reviews for winning my challenge *facepalms* Right. Sorry for the delay.
This is just an amazing chapter. It's action-packed, but you still take the time to really develop Hermione's characterisation in some scenes. You portray her sense of guilt accurately, her exhaustion, horror and constant worry for the children. The scene with Greyback was just outstanding. Really, you've done Greyback's character justice here; he's old and bitter and probably with less vigour, but somehow just as savage as ever, if not more. Your descriptions of him as a man and as a wolf were wonderful; they were chilling and precise - his white fur and clouded eyes. These are all very striking details, and you certainly have a knack for visual detail.
Greyback leaping into a throng of zombies alone reminds me of all those scenes in movies where a lone hero plunges into a crowd of enemies and sort of sacrifices himself in order to buy his friends time to escape. Your fic subverted this trope by having Greyback attack those zombies out of selfish desire, and with no intention of helping Hermione and the others. I suppose we won't see him anymore in the story.
The revelation that the chemicals were a result of Death Eater experimentation during the wizarding wars left me absolutely speechless. This is just brilliant, and I love love love this unexpected plot development, because of course, it ties things back to Voldemort, and to canon, and to the wizarding world and era of the books that us fans are so familiar with. I'm excited to see where this will go.
Overall, brilliant chapter. I'm off to read the next one, and once again, massive apologies for taking forever to get down to reviewing! Great work.
-tehAuthor's Response: Hi Teh! Thanks for coming back to review my story!
Thanks for your thoughts on my descriptions! for me, I really wanted to make Greyback as old and decrepit as I possibly could while still maintaining a sense of like...fear. I kind of picture him as having lived out in the wild for a long time and just almost completely dehumanized.
I'm so glad you liked the revelation of the chemicals, when I wrote it I was like, is this cheesy, or what is this?I'm so glad that you liked it. It was really important for me to tie things in back to Canon because even though it is a little weird and funny at times, at the same time it needs to say true to the story you know?
Thank you so very much for reviewing, I really appreciate it! Report Review
I like the humor to seriousness ratio you've got going on here. Hugo was particularly brilliant; I loved the similarities to his dad that he embodied. I'm so happy that you provided the information in this chapter. I'm actually relieved as I was under the impression that there would be more than 18,000 zombies in the world than that.
This is such an interesting story; I love the complexity of the plot! I apologise for the short review but I'm in a bit of a rush at the moment. Will be back soon to read the other two chapters.
THGAuthor's Response: Well thank you! I love writing Hugo, he is so wonderful and humorous.
I thought 18K was a lot of zombies! I thought, oh Lord, how am I going to get rid of all of them?! But I do have a plan for some things, so don't be worried about that haha.
The reviews is fine, I am so thrilled that you have come to read my story! You are awesome, thank you so very much! Report Review
Oooh, so it was a dream within a dream? Very dynamic! I actually felt myself welling up when you wrote the scene; the way that you conveyed Hermione's emotion at that particular moment was really effective.
Your chapter images get more and more intriguing with every chapter. I spent like a full three minutes subconsciously examining it before I'd even started reading. I know it sounds weird. I kind of went like a zombie for a bit just staring at the screen. I need to start sleeping more.
I hope Draco isn't dead. I've been waiting for him to show up for ages now and I'm really curious to see how he'd react to a situation like this; especially with Hermione and Neville for company.
Another really good chapter,
THGAuthor's Response: Aww I didn't mean to make you cry! But it is very sad to think about, to have this dream, to have all of her like...life start falling apart around her and then not be able to pick up the pieces around her. It's startling.
I love the chapter images hahaha. I don't think there is anything wrong with examining them they are just brilliant I think :P
Draco I have a lot of fun with so Ill be interested to see your opinions of him in later chapters! Report Review
Hey! Sorry it took me so long to get back here. I've been kept busy with my college work so I've only had five and ten minutes to spare for the past week.
I love the irony of the whole plot! The idea of the chosen one being the unintentional instigator of another revolution is brilliant. I just love the originality in it!
With every chapter more and more complications seem to be arising which makes me wonder or not this situation will ever be resolved; I'd really hate to be in Hermione's position right now.
I'm sorry but for some reason when I read this line I just cracked up - "Right,” Scorpius replied, cocking his gun back. “Let’s murder these sons of bitches.” - It's such a randomly badass thing to say.
I was really scared that Rose was going to die; but I loved it when Scorpius showed up - not just because he saved her but because it was...well...Scorpius. I like Scorpius.
Ok so random moment over.
Oh no! Dumbledore's alive!!! Well, not actually alive but...alive. If anything can break into Hogwart's then I'm pretty sure it would be the corpse of Albus Dumbledore. I do hope that Hermione figures out a solution soon!
THGAuthor's Response: That's no problem! I'm so happy that you decided to stop by anyway!
I know what you mean about the complications that seemingly keep coming up. There was a point when I realized...oh hey...I better start explaining or resolving some of this or else I'm just going to write myself into a massive hole, so as you read on you'll see some of that kind of start to be explained.
Dumbledore is alive :P sort of. And I love me some rambo scorpius!!
Thank you so very much for continuing to read my story! I really appreciate it! Report Review
"How is it possible that after all of these years, after all the things we've been through, that bastard still finds a way to destroy everything." >>> I actually laughed out loud when I read this! Makes sense that Lord Voldemort would be involved somehow. You write really good humour when it's appropriate.
In a weird kind of way I sort of like Greyback in this chapter; he's really mean to Hermione but he does kind of unintentionally save their lives and really, who doesn't like a bad guy?
I'm struggling to figure out the extent to which this had escalated now because it seems pretty serious if the zombies keep showing up everywhere. But it isn't that long since she tried to revive Harry in the first place. It'll be interesting to discover the science behind all of this but for now I'm loving all of the action!
By the way is it ridiculous that I'm still subconsciously waiting for somebody to sat: 'Take car. Go to mum's. Kill Dad - "Sorry." - grab Mum, go to the Hogshead, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over.' - Sean of the Dead reference, sorry but I couldn't help myself.
Anyway, brilliant chapter!
THGAuthor's Response: Voldemort is such a tricky jerk, he sneaks his way into everything, doesn't he?
I am with you here, I really enjoyed writing and developing Greyback's character. To me, he is this engima, and you never really know what happens to him after the war. I like to think that he just goes off and lives in the wild. He's always in it for himself, so that was very fun to portray.
In order to help with plot holes, I have covered some reasons in later chapters why it seems that the zombies are every where, and particularly why they are stalking Hermione of sorts. There will be answers eventually, I promise :)
hahaha at the quote! Seems appropriate here, doesn't it?
Thank you so much again! You are too kind! Report Review
Have you ever heard of the book 'warm bodies', because I was browsing in Waterstones and when I learnt that it was about zombies I remembered your story and figured I might as well pick it up and give it a read. And so far it's actually really good. Congratulations you've got me interested in zombies now.
Oh wow this story is actually really addictive. I love the fact that you leave every chapter on a cliff hanger, hence the reason I keep coming back here to review more. I have to applaud you on your originality because its rare that I ever read something that's as unique as what you've written here. I love that you've involved all of the Next Gen characters. Al is particularly convincing as Harry's youngest son; his anger reminds me so much of his father when he was a similar age. I was really happy that he didn't die though. For a minute there I was scared that you intended to kill every character off in the story.
Oh dear. Greyback's not a zombie is he? Can werewolf's even become zombies? For some reason I get the feeling that they can in your story which isn't good news for Hermione (although I don't think his turning up in the middle of an abandoned forest would be a good thing anyway; zombie or not).
You do a good job of describing the action that is occurring in the piece. There's always something going on and there's never a single moment when I'm not being thoroughly entertained. I'll keep this review nice and short if you don't mind because I'm really eager to find out what happens next.
Another fabulous chapter!
THGAuthor's Response: Warm Bodies is a movie now, isn't it? I'd only heard of it because it was a movie but it sounds like a really interesting book and I'll make sure to look it up!
I'm glad you like the cliff hangers that's something that I really enjoy writing and i always hope that it does keep people coming back!
I always have a bit of difficulty including ALL the Next gen characters, like the really obscure ones but I think later in the story it gets a little better. I think writing Al has been so much fun because I get to write that sullen teenage attitude :)
As for werewolves becoming zombies, I don't know that really honestly thought that all the way through. That is an interesting avenue to explore, so thank you for pointing that out to me.
Thank you so much again for continuing with my story, it instills so much confidence in me! Thanks! Report Review
Nice chapter images!
In your last author's note I think you mentioned something about trying to turn this genre into something amazing. Any way in relation to that I just wanted to point out that one of the most effective ways in which you tend to do this is through your use of jargon. It reflects a more serious tone that you really can't make a mockery of and I think it works very effectively to give your story an element of more powerful intrigue and credibility. So kudos for that.
Your characterisation of all of the characters (both canon and original) is also very impressive. Might I add that I love the way you write Neville's dialogue; it's nice to see that you've actually kept in mind his massive development as a character in the last book (I've noticed that quite a lot of other authors tend to revert back to JK's earlier and more weak portrayal of his character and it always annoys the hell out of me).
Just one thing though, you seem to have reverted from past tense to present in this sentence here: ' Hermione has never seen fear in Neville’s eyes before, not really.' >>> It's the bit near where Hermione makes a note of how much older Ginny looks as a result of Harry's death.
I really like where this story seems to be going. Nice Chapter!
THGAuthor's Response: First off, I have to say thank you because I absolutely adore my chapter images :)
I use jargon? Wow I wish you would have given an example now I'm sitting here wondering what exactly it was I did. But in the interim I'll just say thank you for the complement there :)
Oooh thank you for your thoughts on Neville's dialogue! One thing that I definitely have made sure to include is the fact that Neville is a strong guy that has grown up and is a professor. He has prove that he is a Gryffindor, and kind of while he plays second fiddle to Hermione sometimes, he is strong and is allowed an opinion on his own, you know?
I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter, and as for the switching tenses thing, I think that's actually a typo on my part, I typed s instead of d :P I'll try to get that fixed!
thanks again! Report Review
Wow, this is REALLY good!
The only zombie-related experience that I've ever had was when I watched Shaun of the dead which, as you pointed out, mocks the whole concept so its really refreshing to read something that doesn't do that. Having said that though there were moments in this chapter when I found myself laughing slightly ('would you get that bloody thing out of my face' being a particular favourite moment of mine) but that just made the read more enjoyable.
So far I've found your portrayals of Hermione and Neville to be very realistic and I particularly enjoyed your take on Roger; he was very funny and believable.
I suppose I've already praised you on your brilliant writing style so there's no point in doing it again but seriously...I am very jealous.
THGAuthor's Response: Hello again! Thank you so much again for continuing to read my story!
I have seen bits and pieces of Shaun of the dead but not the whole thing!
to me, it's really important to kind of walk that line between humor and horror. I want to kind of give the feel that this story never really takes itself seriously, but at the same time that the subject matter is sort of gruesome and awful.
I'm glad you liked my portrayal of Hermione and Neville in this chapter, I did have a ball writing them!
Thank you so much for your comments on my writing style and for continuing to read my story!! Report Review
The first thing that this reminded me of when I was reading it was Mary Shelley's 'Frankenstein' - (which is one of my favourite all time pieces of literature by the way). I'm intrigued to discover whether or not this will embody similar themes of morality as the story progresses.
I feel so sorry for poor Hermione, and although her swearing and deciding to tamper with death strike me as slightly uncharacteristic of her they still kind of work simply because of the context and severity of the situation.
Your writing style is absolutely lovely by the way! Consider me extremely jealous of your talent!
I can't wait to read more; what an interesting idea for a story!
THGAuthor's Response: Hello! I'm so excited to see you here on my story, your thoughts mean a lot to me and I am glad that you've decided to read my work!
The things that you have mentioned about her being slightly OOC honestly are things that have worried me a bit but I guess I think that I justify it by saying that she is so distraught emotinally that she isn't exactly thinking clearly. I am extremely grateful for your thoughts on this matter though.
Thank you so much for your complements of my writing, it really means so much to me. Report Review
I actually read this chapter about a week or so ago now so I had to read it again to refresh my memory. I love how you opened up this chapter with Hermione in the library. I don't think she could ever go to Hogwarts and not end up there at some point or another. I was actually a bit surprised when I read this line, "what she did know was that Harry was getting stronger with each person he turned," because I honestly didn't catch that he was getting stronger and stronger. I probably missed the really obvious hints that you were leaving up until this point, but for some reason I just didn't spot them.
Sometimes I just have to sit and stare in awe of your word choice and how you can express such a simple action in such an amazing way. For example, this next part is just wonderful. "Baby. It was a statement, simple and soft, that met her loud declaration of revelation. The word rolled off his tongue like velvety chocolate, like something he had practiced a million times before to elicit a specific response in a woman." Every single word of these lines seems hand selected and the whole thing is just perfect.
As soon as Ron showed up I knew it couldn't be real, but then I started imagining the scene in my head and I really got sucked into it. Then as soon as Hermione saw his skin turn gray and deteriorate I thought he must have tricked her somehow and he really was there. After Hermione set the entire library up in flames I was a bit shocked, and I was stunned again when it was all a dream. Basically you really threw me for a loop during that whole part, and I had a really tough time figuring out what was reality. You definitely did a great job portraying Hermione's exhaustion-driven hallucinations/nightmares.
I really love how you're bringing in all of the Hogwarts era characters. Now Draco is going to get involved too? I'm actually hoping he's going to get turned into a zombie since I don't really like him. :P This was another fantastic chapter as always!
AlliAuthor's Response: Hey Alli!
I actually had so much fun writing this chapter. Even though the subject matter is really awful, it was really a switch up to write that sensual scene with Ron, and then kind of transition it into chaos. It was really fun. :)
I'm glad sort of that I was able to trick you a little bit into wondering if it was a dream or not. For me, I figured that people would catch on right away that she was dreaming but I am glad that it threw you for a bit of a loop :)
As for Draco getting involved, I had fun with his scenes too, as you will see in a few chapters :)
Thank you so much again for continuing to support me by reading my stories. It means more to me than you can know! Report Review
Ahem. Right. So. This is amazing, and I'm sure you know that, but I'm going to tell you it anyway - the way you've blended the humour and drama reminds me a lot of Shaun of the Dead, which is one of my favourite films.
Hermione's characterisation is interesting. It's very easy to see her as someone who would try to do everything and fix everything the way she does here, and who focuses almost entirely on what she feels needs to be done, which puts a distance between her and the others... it's very realistic and very Hermione.
There's not a lot that I can think of to say here - I'm a bit crap at this reviewing thing, tbh - but that this bit:
"H-Harry?" She gasped, looking at his face, which was pockmarked and unsightly.
"Rarg," was his reply.
was perfectly set up. It's funny, but at the same time it's devastating. I don't know how you do it.
And now I'll shut up, but expect to see me around in the future. I'm kind of like that.Author's Response: Hello! I am so excited to see you here reviewing my story!!
I'm so glad you like the humor and the drama, that is something that I was trying to do, because this story can never take itself too seriously.
I'm also glad that you think that Hermione is well characterized. I always worry since I feel like Hermione would know better but I think that there is this whole other emotional component that would come with losing her best friends that we might not see in the books.
I'm so glad that you are here and I look forward to more of your reviews!! You're a great reviewer, don't put yourself down!! :) Report Review
FINALLY I AM HERE.
So throughout this story you’ve really kept Hermione giving, and almost making it so she doesn’t have enough time to think about what’s going on break down because of it. Like she’s on autopilot and just doing what has to get done next. But with this first scene, her shutting herself away and alone, you really got to explore her feelings. And they were so heartbreaking :(. Watching her tackle this almost impossible kind of battle, but also fight against not even recognizing herself because of her actions is just very sad, and you did such a good job making me feel it all. The line about wondering if she would ever again be the young mother that snuggled her children at night was just so simple but so serious. I think allowing us to see how broken she really is through this was such a perfect thing to do.
Oh she’s just like a young girl again scared and lost. Even more so than she ever was as a young girl... this conversation with Professor Flitwick was not something I’d have seen coming, but something I love so much and just added a whole new dimension. I really liked the tiny ounce of humor you slipped in with him wondering why she was never in Ravenclaw, just to lighten the mood. Not enough to make it actually funny, because that wouldn’t have fit here, but enough to make me smile.
Oh that whole section was really great, Ashley. I’m all feelsy now.
Teddy is so delicious when he’s all in control. I bet admitting what happened to him wouldn’t have been hard for Hermione, and it would have felt wrong for him to be angry with her because of it so I loved that you just had him stick to focusing on what to do. AND HARRY CAN APPARATE. I knew that already, hehehehe. But If I didn’t, I’d totally be going UH OH right now. Well I am anyway, but even more if I didn’t know. Apparating? Aint no body got time for that!
Ohh stop making me feel so bad for Draco ;(.
You managed to end this chapter on such a strong note. We’ve seen Hermione go through so much in this story, but this chapter was really the most focused on what’s going on inside of her, what she’s struggling against within her self and ugh I really, really loved that. Things have been so chaotic and busy, we needed a break to understand what was happening in our beloved Miss Granger-Weasley. I just want to hug her.
AND NOW I want to know what happens next!!!Author's Response: Jami!!
Thank you so much for reviewing this chapter! Whoo!
I'm so glad someone has finally picked up on the fact that Hermione was kind of on autopilot through the first few chapters! I've been getting a lot of heat for not delving further into her feelings, but I really wanted to do that with this chapter because she's really had time to slow down and thing about things.
I know, to be perfectly honest I didn't plan the conversation with Flitwick, it just kind of happened. I was like, oh, he apparently wants to get a few words in, so why not? And there we have it :P
I have tried to continue to insert little bits of humor here and there, because this story should never take itself too seriously. AT the end of the day, it IS a story about zombies :P
I love Teddy, and every time you talk about him, he gets hotter and hotter in my mind!! I think that I will start writing him hotter and hotter too, pretty soon he's gonna be big and muscly and like...wait no. NO. This is not the right story for that.
Harry CAN apparate, and thus fixes one of the biggest plot holes in the story! YAY!
I'm glad that you enjoyed this chapter, I really am. It gladdens my heart that you still love and connect with the characters and it makes me totally want to write faster!! Report Review
Ah another awesome chapter, as always! I loved the moment between Hermione and Flitwick, it was really sweet. I also liked the talk between Teddy and Hermione, Teddy seemed like I'd imagined him. The ending was the most bittersweet though - Hugo's ideas made me laugh, and yet Hermione's fear came through just the same, and now I am really anxious and excited for what happens "tomorrow". Oh and the moment with Draco just broke my heart, poor him =(
Great job!! 10/10!
(AditiDraco95)Author's Response: Thanks Aditi! I'm so happy you stopped by to read this and that you continue to read it, it really makes my day to see your reviews! :)
I know I'm so horrible with Draco, I will be addressing him again in a future chapter.
I hope to get another chapter out soon, thanks again! Report Review
Wow, I think Hermione and the crew need to prepare for an all out war against these zombies. This is getting serious! I absolutely loved this line, "It seems to kill them relatively--" she paused to remove the limbs from a female zombie wearing a torn miniskirt with matching halter top "--effectively, but seems to take quite a long while." I love seeing Hermione take down zombies so casually in the middle of a conversation. She is very confident in her abilities in your chapters which I really enjoy.
The details you included about the zombies in this chapter were great. One of my favorite details you included was about the, "sludge that sat in the zombies' veins." I'm assuming the blood in the zombies' veins is still there but is just getting really thick. I also appreciated the fact that you switched how you referred to the zombies multiple times such as walking dead, the undead, monster, etc. Hearing you say zombie over and over again would probably get old.
Neville's explanation of the zombies with how they can immobilize their prey was a great addition to the zombies! At the time I thought Rose just froze up but it makes sense that the zombies can control them before they attack. It's also really interesting that they have both muggle and wizard properties. I can't wait to see what you do with these details of their powers.
They can wake the dead too!? Wow, I wasn't expecting that twist at all! Oh my goodness and now you've turned Dumbledore into a zombie too and the zombies are capable of channeling their magic through wands as well. I'm so impressed by how many plot twists you've thrown into the story so far and how creative all of your ideas are! I can imagine this being a really popular zombie film or something. :P
I did see one small mistake as I was reading - "He used the strength he that had gained," should be "He used the strength that he had gained." Other than that everything was amazing!
AlliAuthor's Response: You have stumbled upon my favorite chapter! I am excited that you've read it!
I love that line you've posted with Hermione, that's one of my favorites in the whole chapter. What I was really trying to do was just kind of display how they were still having a discussion despite the fact that there was chaos all around.
Here you've stumbled upon one of my other problems, which is varying the way I refer to the zombies. One of my pet peeves is seeing the same words over and over again in a story so I try to vary it as best I can. But thank you for pointing that out I appreciate it!
Ah you've gotten to the part where they can immobilize their prey! That explains Ginny a few chapters ago right? :)
THE DUMBLEDORE TWIST! One of my favorite things about the whole thing. Writing that little thing at the end of this chapter was so fun because I wanted it to be a complete surprise! Just wait until you see what I have planned here :)
Thank you for pointing out that mistake, I shall have to inform my beta ;)
THANK YOU ALLI YOU ROCK!! Report Review
This was such an exciting chapter! Your description of Fenrir's withered body was perfect. I loved the wording you used like his stumped back and willowy limbs. The entire description made me think of a frail, dying tree, which is fitting since they're in the middle of a forest. The addition of Fenrir into the story was very unexpected and a good surprise. I was really curious as I was reading this chapter to figure out if Fenrir would be for or against the zombies.
I really liked how you included Hermione's painful remembrance of Ginny in this chapter. It was so realistic how something as simple as thinking of Ginny stocking the pantry set Hermione's mind off on a cascade of grief as she thought of each of the horrors she had already encountered that night. This addition helped deepen Hermione's character and add a bit of emotion into the chapter without taking away from the thrill of the zombie attack.
It is incredibly fitting that the ministry would keep dangerous potions in the morgue to decorate the room. Honestly, most of the people in that room are dead and don't care how pretty the room looks! The entire idea behind this little detail was genius and it shows that the ministry still has its problems.
I've really been wondering how the zombies are tracking the humans and how they can always pinpoint where Ginny, Hermione, and their families are. I'm curious if they have some mind reading capability with humans or if they maintain some of the knowledge they had from when they were a human. I'm not sure if you've thought about this detail or not, but I would love to know your answer to this!
This was a fabulous chapter as always. Cheers!
AlliAuthor's Response: Hey again Alli!
I loved writing Greyback, and especially his description. I just imagined this ancient rickety old man that is half wolf half man at this point, and so writing him was really fun.
And now we're finally getting into the parts of the story where Hermione's fears and guilt are catching up with her. She's able to slow down and think about what's happened and as such the pain and anxiety is really starting to catch up with her.
I'm glad you thought it was fitting about the potions, I was actually kind of worried about that, people thinking that it might not be feasible so it's really great to get feedback on that!
I will say that the zombies DO have some magical ability but I don't want to give that away. It's really something I've been thinking about and I think the answer really lies in what kind of zombie Harry actually is, rather than the rest. But that's all I'll say because that's all talked about in later chapters :)
Thank you so much again dear, you are AWESOME! Report Review
This chapter was so intense and action packed! I feel like we're moving closer and closer to a zombiepocalypse now that the zombies are multiplying at an even faster rate. I liked the foul mouth Albus had going on there in the beginning of the chapter. He is definitely a typical teenager, and biting angst was a perfect way to describe his emotions.
"Why had Ginny just stayed there? She was seemingly dead the minute she made eye contact with the zombie, as though there was an invisible force rooting her to the spot." This particular line has made me really curious if there's some draw of the zombie's gaze that we don't know about. It's also possible that Ginny had the reaction she did because of her romantic connection to Harry. I hope I'm not over thinking this too much, but maybe there was some brain wave connections going on there or something? =P
The humming and the scrapping sound that the zombies make is so sinister. It's the perfect way to describe the impending attack of the zombies and definitely adds to the creepiness factor. I thought this line to describe the zombies was particularly genius, "Before her lay a black ocean ebbing and flowing upon her front garden." Combining something so morbid coming out from what I'm sure was a very beautiful garden was an amazing way to describe the scene.
I'm so sad that poor Hermione had to set her house on fire. The flames lashing around the pictures, and the fire consuming Ron's memory were heartbreaking details. Oh dear, the minute you mentioned a cabin in the woods I knew something bad was about to happen. That doesn't sound like a very promising place to stay safe! Greyback! It's very creepy that he is just lurking in the woods waiting to prey on Hermione and the kids. I'm really curious to see if he'll somehow help fight the zombies or if he's just going to terrorize Hermione some more.
AlliAuthor's Response: Yes! All my actiony chapters. I miss them so much. I can't wait to get back to all these action scenes!
Of course I really enjoy Albus's foul mouth, I like to write that because I feel like that is what an 18 year old would probably be like.
Don't worry you aren't over thinking it. I'm glad that I did make you think though! The whole thing with Ginny will be explained a little better later on I think.
Thanks again for your words on my description. I enjoy writing about this massive pool of zombies but sometimes it gets difficult trying to describe things different ways. I have problems with the sounds they make sometimes, haha, just varying it and not saying the same thing over and over again!
I think the scene where Hermione sets her house on fire is really sad, I think it's one of the most heart wrenching scenes in the whole story so far.
I will admit that the Greyback scene was heavily influenced by Mike because he wanted some Greyback in his life and of course I obliged :DI enjoyed writing him, as you'll see in the next chapter!
Thank you so much for your kind words! Report Review
I really enjoyed how you opened up this chapter with the back story of the victim. Instead of having Harry attack just a random person off the street, you allowed us to get a glimpse of why we should connect with the beggar due to his honorable intentions. You then snatched his future away when the zombie attacked him which made me feel sorry for him even though we were just introduced to him.
I love the little details you add into your stories like this line - "Finally, the boy found his legs, the connections between synapses firing frantically, sending the signal that danger was approaching." The descriptions like this make your writing seem very intelligent, which I absolutely love! This line really struck me as well, "Hermione could instantly see the toll that Harry's death had taken on her inexplicably youthful features. Ginny Weasley finally looked her age." It's such a small description but with one line you are able to capture just how heart-broken Ginny is over Harry's death and how much of an impact it has had on everyone.
"Crazy unicorns with lazy eyes" - I'm curious if someone set you up with that or if that was all your doing, because that is a wonderful quote from Ginny. :P Neville impressed me more in this chapter than he did in the past two. The authoritativeness that Neville displayed in this chapter made me more convinced that he could handle the head of house position and would be a good partner for Hermione as they battle the zombies.
I can't believe Ginny would just go up to Harry when there is an army of zombies behind her! Silly girl. "Albus, take Lily and go!" This part reminded me a lot of James telling Lily to take Harry and run. I'm not sure if that was your intention or not though. Poor Ginny is a zombie now too? All of your characters are dropping like flies! I really liked the edition of having the hand squirm around on the floor after it was cut off. It really added to the creepiness of the zombies and the entire scene.
I have to admit, I am definitely hooked on this story. Onto the next chapter!
AlliAuthor's Response: Hey Alli!
Well you got some more of my anatomy and physiology happening again haha. I can't help it I just really like describing things like that and just...kind of use the human body with descriptions.
Ahaha the crazy unicorns line. Yeah that was just me being stupid lol. No one put me up to that, it was just me being silly! haha.
The parts with Neville, that was one of the things I was talking about in one of my other responses. I have to remember that Neville is a Gryffindor so that is somethig that I have been striving to do in the later chapters!
The whole thing with Ginny going up to Harry I think is explained a little better in later chapters :)
Thank you Alli you are such an awesome reviewer! Report Review
After the chaos at the end of the last chapter, I liked how you started off this chapter with Neville calmly marking homework at Hogwarts. I'm not sure how I feel about Neville being the Gryffindor Head of House, probably because I've never been a huge Neville fan. It was a very interesting contrast that you set up between how Harry's life and Neville's life turned out. Neville is in a very successful place in his life, covered in silk robes and sitting at a mahogany desk, while Harry is dead and trapped as a zombie.
I really enjoyed the interactions between Hermione and Neville in this chapter. There was a sense of familiarity between the two, and you could tell their friendship hasn't strayed far from the strength it was while they were at Hogwarts. Your characterization of both characters was also spot on. Even though they are both grown up, Neville still seemed timid compared to Hermione and let her take the lead. I can definitely picture their relationship developing like this, with Neville continuing to fall back on Hermione's lead.
This line cracked me up, though I'm not sure if it was supposed to or not. "I created a zombie. A Harry zombie." All I could imagine during this line was a hairy, yeti-type zombie. :P I also love what you did with Roger's character. He was such a pompous jerk so I liked seeing Hermione put him in his place. The way you've used all of the characters from the Hogwarts era and placed them in different positions in this new era is just perfect and doesn't seem forced at all.
Overall this was an amazing chapter! Your dialogue was spot on as always and really helped develop the personalities of all of your characters further. You left us with a major cliff hanger, so I can't wait to see how much destruction zombie Harry has caused.
AlliAuthor's Response: Hi Alli! :)
You know I don't think I ever really drew those parallels between Harry and Neville and how Neville's life has been so successful and Harry's ended so tragically.
I really liked writing Hermione and Neville here. I really try to keep him in character but sometimes I worry that I am taking him slightly out of character. The biggest thing I need to remember is that Neville was a gryffindor, haha.
Lol there are definitely little bits of humor throughout the story because I don't want it to take itself too seriously. So the whole "Harry zombie" line I think was just me being silly. Don't worry for laughing, that is a perfectly natural response :P
I'm so glad you are continuing to enjoy my story, it really means a lot! Report Review
First off, I absolutely love the title you chose for this story! So far it seems very fitting for the story, and I can't wait to see how you explore Harry's brain activity or lack thereof in the future chapters. From what I've read so far I think you have a great concept for an amazing thriller/action story on your hands.
I loved the detail you put into describing Hermione's efforts in awakening Harry. The mention of her almost sensing life from the connections of his spinal cord was perfect. I also liked your characterization of Hermione throughout the chapter. I'm not surprised that she even mentioned earlier on in the chapter how dangerous it was to try to bring someone back to life, but then she tried it herself anyways. That seemed to reflect a bit of overconfidence to me, suggesting that Hermione thought her own efforts would be superior to the results that lead to the creation of inferi.
Your descriptions and word choice in the entire chapter were amazing. One of my favorite lines was, "Familiar tears began to war their way to the surface, and she swallowed hard to discourage them." One of the strengths that you have in all of your writing is how well you are able to bring out the emotions of your characters and thread those feelings throughout the entire story. Another line I loved was the, "ignorant family on the wall that had been rocked from their happy cocoon and now lay in tattered shambles for the world to point at and feel sorry for." The way you describe Harry's family in their moment of grief was so heart-wrenching.
Oh no! What have you done to my poor Harry? I'm not sure what I was expecting from this chapter but a zombie was not it! As you can tell, I fail to read chapter titles. You definitely caught me by surprise at the end after the seriousness of the beginning of the chapter where Hermione and Ginny were dealing with their grief. Only you could get me to read a zombie story. :P This first chapter was amazing, and I can't wait to see what else you have in store for the readers!
AlliAuthor's Response: ALLI! :)
I really like the title of the story too, I really struggled with what to call it for a long time and then this just kind of jumped out at me so I'm really glad that I chose it :)
I always like to add little bits of PT into my reviews, it's like I just can't help myself. Whether it's anatomy or what, I just can't help it.
I think we discussed once that I can't even believe that I wrote those sentences you pulled out. When I go back and read this stuff I am always amazed at the things that I wrote, it seems to me like that wasn't even me. But it was! I didn't plagiarize! haha.
I know, I'm so mean to Harry. I'm sorry! But what kind of story would it have been if I just left everything ok? a BORING one! :P
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!! Report Review
Ash! I am here again, taking opportunity of this lovely 'war' we have going on with the Gryffies!
First off, I have to say that those chapter images are brilliant. Hilarious but brilliant. I like that they always depict some sort of summary for what is going to happen in the chapter. This one was especially important with the cabin and all.
I am dying to know how DO the zombies find them. And how do the move so fast? I mean, they are in one place at some point and then BAM, they're in a completely different place the next. I understand that they multiply very fast but how fast can this 'breeding' go to spread so quick? I feel there's a trick somewhere around here and I am determined to find it!
And just when you think things couldn't get worse Fenrir appears. When does the bad luck end and the good luck begin for them? I felt so sorry about Albus and Lily this chapter. They are orphans now. I can't even begin to wrap my mind around what does to a person. I loved their fierce reaction however. It was very believable and true to real life reactions. When you feel you are overpowered, you have the urge to fight back. Feeling useless in those moments of peril is the worst.
Very very nice chapter hun!Author's Response: Hey!
Thanks for the comments about the chapter images, they are definitely one of my favorite things about the chapters!
Your thoughts on how the zombies move so fast I have actually answered in a later chapter (that actually hasn't been released yet :P ) So you will definitely figure that out later!
I really enjoy writing Albus and Lily and the differences between the two of them and how they are dealing with things. I try to remember back to when I was a teenager and how I made everything a huge drama when it wasn't. And now that there Is a huge drama going on, I feel like Albus would just kind of check out. But he really wants to fight, so I enjoy that side of him. And writing Fenrir was so fun, you'll see!
Thank you so much for reviewing!! Report Review
Hello there! I'm here finally to review your entry for the Apocalyptic AU Challenge. So so sorry for the delay :( Anyway, as I mentioned in the challenge, for all multi-chaptered entries, I will read and review the first 10,000 words (roughly), and so that will be your first four chapters.
Gah! I'm in love with your story already. It's a CLASSIC zombie apocalypse portrayal. You've hit so many of the requisite zombie apocalypse tropes - the shambling gaits (although zombie!Harry's attack on the beggar was terrifyingly fast), the superfast spread of the zombie condition and the mass conversion of people into the undead (it seems to take hours, rather than weeks or months, which is the norm for zombie apocalypses :P ), the collapse of society and the killing of the Minister for Magic, gun-wielding characters, the bitter vengeful guy throwing himself into a crowd of zombies and fighting them alone...obviously you can tell I've read a little more than your first four chapters :P
You're extremely skilled in writing action sequences and maintaining an atmosphere of suspense throughout the story...and this is because there's quite an intriguing plot behind the whole scenario. The vials full of mysterious substances in the morgue really fascinated me - the results of Death Eater experiments during the Wizarding War? This is just too wonderful. Also, this really really linked your story nicely with canon, and that's always a bonus in fanfic. And you always introduce new surprising characters from Greyback to Scorpius.
Ah, and the humour. The chapter images cracked me up :D And the moment zombie!Harry sat up and went "Raaargh" I choked. There was something so ridiculous about the scene, and yet it was gruesome and must have been terrifying for Hermione with the body horror and the ulcered flesh and everything. The humour parts of the story are great; they aren't too obtrusive to the plot and action. This is a story that at times does not take itself too seriously, what with the occasional over-the-top mindblowing action scenes and trope fulfilments, but I think this is an excellent decision on your part.
Anyway, I can't tell you how delighted I am with this fic. It's just...yeah, mindblowing and utterly entertaining; there's a nice balance between the horror/dark parts and the less serious scenes. And again, great plot, great action and characterisation, (especially Hermione).
Thanks for participating in the challenge :) The results will be out soon in a blog post; I've more or less finished reading and reviewing the other entries :D
-tehAuthor's Response: First of all, I am so honored to have won your challenge! It was a great one, and I was just lucky to have started writing this previously :)
Thank you for your compliments of my writing. I always worry about my action scenes so your compliments there really made me feel great!
I'm glad that you liked the humor, I really want to make sure I have a nice balance of the two. I don't want this story to take itself too seriously, because let's be honest it is a LITTLE ridiculous :) But I like to have a nice mix.
This has been one of the best reviews I've ever had! Thank you so much!! Report Review
Hello again! It's been a while since I read your last chapter but I finally have time to sit down and review!
Wow- you're certainly keeping the pace quick and the endings interesting! I'm very intrigued to see what will happen with Greyback- perhaps werewolves will be more effective against zombies than fire is. By the way, I found it interesting that fire was not a more effective tool, though I guess you could say that it did stop them. The image of the shaking bones was very creepy and I could just imagine them coming together and forming a marching, skeletal zombie!
I wish we could've seen more of the emotional reactions to Harry becoming a zombie and Ginny becoming his Queen, especially since both happened so suddenly and so close together. I definitely do understand, however, that there isn't much time for emotional therapy when there's a zombie crisis threatening to destroy everyone's lives. ;)
I think that you did a great job with the action scenes in this chapter. They definitely displayed a great level of urgency and I was torn between siding with Lily's cries to not abandon Albus in the crowd of zombies or agreeing with Hermione's logical decision to get away from the hoard of brain-hungry zombies.
Albus and Lily's (and, I suppose, James') decision to participate in the fight against the zombies was definitely expected. I would have been surprised if they had chosen to stay far away from the fight, since it's something that Ginny and Harry wouldn't have done.
One more question before I finish this review: Why is Harry trying to collect his friends and family? Is he wanting to recreate his life in zombie form?
All in all, I think that you did a great job with this chapter and I'm very intrigued to see where you'll take the story next. Great work!Author's Response: Oh my goodness thank you so much for coming to leave a review on my story!
I have seen quite a few complaints about the level of emotion depicted in the chapters and I have to say that you definitely see some of that emotion in later chapters. I honestly don't think that she had enough time to really process what was going on because her kids were involved and she was trying to get them to safety. So to me I think that that's what i was trying to get across, and then in later chapters I definitely explored more of her emotional reaction.
Thank you for your words about the action, that's one thing I'm always so nervous about when writing because I don't think I'm quite as adept at writing them but it's nice to get some positive feedback for it!
Harry collecting his friends and family is discussed a bit in later chapters in conjunction with the magic that was used to reanimate him :)
Thank you so much again! Report Review
Ermergerd. It's a chapter. With stuff. Exciting stuff. I'M SO EXCITED OK. ACTION SOON WOOO. I love all the chapters of course. But omg. I know you were worried this was too much and I know I've said it wasn't but it's still not too much *Run on sentence* and yeah xD I loved it~~ 97% of the awesomness is the writing, 3% is the CI you see every chapter xD Felt the need to say that.
TEDDY YAY. ALBUS WOO. YAY. I can't wait to see how Hugo responds and such. WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN? *caps lock* Yeah :3 Here's my review yay~ xD
-Mike.Author's Response: YAY MIKE!!
I'm glad you are still reading this! I'm glad you like Teddy and that I'm still keeping you on the edge of your seat!
Thank you SO MUCH for reading and reviewing this! Report Review
Ooh another well-written chapter :D
Ah Draco, the poor thing. You wrote the scene really well, and it was all quite vivd. The overall descriptions had great imagery too. I could envision it all happening. I do hope Draco gets better though.
I liked the "meeting" and the people that were a part of it. Percy as Minister of Magic, now that's something I didn't expect. But anyway, Flitwick's, Teddy's, and Percy's speeches were well-written.
I feel really bad for Hermione though. But it is realistic too that she'd take all the blame on herself (and well it is a little bit her fault). Her reaction towards the end did break my heart a little too.
(AditiDraco95)Author's Response: Thanks so much Aditi!
I enjoyed writing the Draco scene, I think that he is going to be an interesting character, especially since I haven't figured out what to do with him yet :P
I feel bad for Hermione as well, I feel like she just was in the wrong place at the wrong time you know?
Thank SO MUCH for continuing to read and review my story Report Review
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