Reading Reviews for Ron's Explanation.
  
7 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Keira7794 Ron Explains

2nd July 2012:
Hello!

I'm just popping in to review your entry for the 'Ronald Weasley Challenge'. As you know, the idea behind the challenge is to take an event and give reasons for Ron's behaviour - to make the reader connect with him in a way they didn't before. I think you did a great job of achieving this!

I really liked your description of the after-affects of apparation. It's never gone easy for Ron (bless him) and I think the descriptions of him being weaker really tie in with his physical state of living on very little food and travelling long distances.

Fleur's reaction seemed to be a normal respone if you were living in a warzone with one of the biggest blood traitors - I liked how Bill didn't immediately run to his brother's aid. His characterisation was great!

Ron's language seemed very in tune with his character - you don't shy away from using slang or crude language which is very Ron! ;) I also like how he immediately classed himself as a coward - Ron is always thinking negatively on himself when it's often not true! :)

The relationship between Ron and Bill is great - Bill acting out the 'wise older brother' role.

"If this war was going to teach him anything it was that forgiveness is a strength as much as redemption is."
^ Love that line!

Anyway, a great entry and the results will hopefully be up soon! Keira :)

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Review #2, by Ginger Lust Ron Explains

26th June 2012:
Hi. I loved your story. You write well. I look forward to reading more of your works. Keep up good work.

Author's Response: Hi there!

Thanks for reading and reviewing! I am gald that you like the story and I hope you like my other stories as well! Thanks for the review! =)

-SR17


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Review #3, by Marauding hippogriff Ron Explains

11th June 2012:
This is brilliant! I love your characterization, it's top notch. Ron's POV is quite interesting.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I am glad that you liked the story, characterization and Ron's POV. It was really difficult to get him just right.

Thank you!

-SR17


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Review #4, by WeepingWillows Ron Explains

17th May 2012:
I really enjoyed this :) This was such a nice missing moment from the DH and I always wondered where Ron disappeared to when he ran out on Harry and Hermione since we never heard much about that!

The flow of this one-shot was great too and I really liked your Ron. Sometimes writers can make him sound so whiny and needy.

10/10 :)

Author's Response: I am glad that you like it! It was really difficult to write so I am glad to here that you liked how I portrayed Ron. I didn't want to portray him as whiny or needy so I am glad that he didn't come off that way. This was one of his finer moments when he realizes that they need him more than ever.

Thanks for reading and reviewing! =)

-SR17


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Review #5, by The Last Marauder Ron Explains

13th May 2012:
I loved the last line - it was absolutely brilliant! Really cool.

I really liked this fic too, I had never really put much thought into what Ron said to Bill when he turned up at the house, and I never really thought about what Bill said to him. I really liked how you captured it! They only criticism I can make is that I wish it were longer!!! :)

Again, the last line was really cool, and I loved your style and the imagery you used. It was all really good! Again, great job, I just wish it were longer :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing again!

I am glad that you liked this one aswell and that you found it interesting. All the possibilities with this are endless. I do wish I would have made it longer.

Thank you for all the wonderful commpliments and encouragement. I greatly appreciate it all.

=)
-SR17


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Review #6, by Athene Goodstrength Ron Explains

8th May 2012:
Hi fellow Snake :)

I enjoyed reading this story. I made some notes for my review, so forgive me if it's a bit long, and maybe jumps back and forth a little!

Just to get this out of the way, there are a few spelling and grammar mistakes dotted through the story, but the first one to jump out at me was the title- it should be 'Explanation'.
Also, 'Where's Harry and Hermione?' should be 'where are', and Bill 'led' Ron. Also, there's a tense issue in 'The task of apparating drained Ron immensely', it should probably be 'had drained'.

There are a few more, but I really enjoyed this story and I don't want you to think I just read it picking at the grammar!

This story has a beautiful opening sentence. I love Shell cottage. I really like the simultaneous senses of peace and fear that you invoke through the first sentence! You could lose 'made a repetitive sound that seemed to' and it would still be a lovely opening line. But it still makes sense the way it is :)

One thing that jumped out at me was the mention of grass in the next paragraph. Maybe 'dewy garden' would be better, as I was a little confused (albeit only momentarily!), because we went from sand to grass and I wasn't sure where Ron was.

'They danced like gems as he approached' was lovely.

"as if he were an apparition" made me chuckle... he sort of is an apparition, having just Apparated ;) But I like the transition from 'ghostly light' to Ron looking like a ghost.

"Ron raised his wand back in alarm as he stood there now facing Bill who was also standing with his wand at the ready. A wild look shown across his scarred face as he stood there judging the situation before him." A misplaced full stop, and the first half is a little clunky. However, I like the idea that Bill looks a bit scary but is actually calm and calculating. I can actually see Ron and Bill staring each other down in the darkness.

I love the security question!

I really like the quiet understanding between Bill and Fleur, and I love that Bill understands what it's like to be a Weasley.

"That's what the Order is about. You do what needs to be done". I liked that a lot, particularly coming from poor scarred Bill. I don't have a big brother, but this seems very big-brotherly of Bill, very IC.

I also really liked the imagery of Ron lying in bed, playing with the deluminator.

Overall, I very much liked this story. I think your imagery is nice (I really could see it all in my minds eye!) and your characterization of all Ron, Bill and Fleur is good.

I also liked Ron's thoughts at the end, although I think he has moved from 'childish' and upset to clear thinking quite quickly.

I think if you wanted, you could easily develop this into a longer story. Either way, it's a really nice idea, and a great 'unseen moment' from the books.

I also have really loved seeing Ron portrayed as Ron, rather than an OOC angry/Hermione-beating/stupid character that I often see in fics!

Is this your entry for Keira's Ronald Weasley challenge? If not, it should be! I'm still working on mine, but really looking forward to reading everyone elses!

Athene xo
Recenseo 2012!

Author's Response: Hi there!

Thank you for reading and reviewing I greatly appreciate it.

Oh. My. Gosh. *facepalm* I feel kind of silly now with the Title being spelled wrong...Thank you for pointing that out. Also for pointing out the others as well. I agree with the things that should be changed. I will make sure I make some changes on things.

I am happy to know that you liked my descriptive sentences and imagery. I have worked really hard on making things seem more alive in my writing.

I think I could probably elaborate more in places. Especially with Ron's thoughts and how he goes from childish and upset to a much more clear thinker.

I am glad that you thought that I kept Ron as Ron and not the OOC that are seen too often.

Yes, this is entered in for Keira's challenge. I look forwards to reading yours! =)

Thanks again fellow Snake!

-SR17


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Review #7, by Moonyxluna Ron Explains

24th April 2012:
Hi dear! I saw this on your page had no love so I had to change that!

Your descriptions are so lovely in the beginning. I got the perfect picture of him creeping around Bill and Fleur's house. I loved that you had Bill ask the security question, it was a good one too!

This was such a lovely missing moment for Ron. You managed to take a situation where Ron isn't at his highest point in life, and turn it into a moment of growth for him.

okay.. this is a really short review.. I don't have any cc for you because I couldn't find anything! Fantastic one shot! It was really moving. I love your writing.

Author's Response: Hi there!

I cannot begin to tell you how much this review made my day...well night...whatever it is right now. =)

I am glad that I was able to get Ron across in a good light because it was really hard for me to do. I am more use to writing him in a joking around type manner than serious so this was quite the challenge.

I figured by this point in DH Ron is so much better at sneaking around that I had to include it so I am glad that you noticed it. I had to think really hard about the security question.

I am glad that you liked the story and that you love my writing. It means a lot to me! I have been working really hard to mold everything together.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!!

-SR17


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