Reading Reviews for A Rollercoaster Ride
  
18 Reviews Found

Review #1, by British obsessed Of Birthday Celebrations, Friendly Faces and Tests

22nd August 2014:
Oh god. Oh shit. 0_0
I feel like i am lily. Hope for an update soon XD

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Review #2, by British obsessed Of Illness, Assumptions and Doubt

22nd August 2014:
LOVING IT!!! Can't wait to see what happens!

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Review #3, by British obsessed Prologue

22nd August 2014:
I am on the edge of my seat XD
Keep up this great work

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Review #4, by kassandra466 Of Birthday Celebrations, Friendly Faces and Tests

20th August 2014:
Okay, well Molly knows, and obviously sooner or later she will have to tell Aidan, and I think that he will be supportive, he seems like that kind of guy. It was a great chapter, I loved the charm bracelet idea, I have a feeling that Aidan may have feelings for Lily that are a tad more than friends with benefits.

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Review #5, by kassandra466 Of Illness, Assumptions and Doubt

20th August 2014:
Awe, poor Lily, I really loved this chapter, I loved the peek into her life. I enjoyed meeting her friends and cousins. You have some wonderful characters and I can not wait to see what comes from this. Fabulous job, I so so enjoyed it

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Review #6, by kassandra466 Prologue

20th August 2014:
Awe, I like that they are best friends, and even though we have only just met Aidan, he seems like a decent guy. It was a brilliant chapter and I cant wait to read the next.

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Review #7, by marauderslover15 Of Birthday Celebrations, Friendly Faces and Tests

18th August 2014:
Here with your requested review =D (sorry it took me so long!)

HERE WE GO.

I love how Lily has support and more so that you had Molly be there. Molly is an underrated character that is barely mentioned compared to Rose, Dom and Lily herself. Also Molly is usually characterized much differently usually like her father Percy. But you claim Molly as your own character, stepping out of the stereotypes fan made for Molly. It is refreshing to see you defining Molly differently.

The birthday scene slightly left me in disbelief. It seemed like Lily forgot her thoughts about being pregnant which I can personally assure you nothing would suppress those fears even presents especially when face with the father who is not even her boyfriend. That scene in my opinion was unrealistic. Hogsmade though you made it more believable especially when she wished on her birthday candles. But throughout the scene, I couldn’t connect with Lily on an emotional level until much later on during the pregnancy test. It was then I understood her feelings of fear and confusion.

One grammar mistake I saw: “I-I don’t want it to be true thought (THOUGH)”

Anyway, I am sure this story will be a success. It is really interesting and I could tell there would be lots of drama that Lily will need to overcome. Great story & chapter.

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Review #8, by kayleefrank Of Birthday Celebrations, Friendly Faces and Tests

16th August 2014:
Obviously James is the father of Bee's baby. Otherwise why would it matter if Lily told him where she was.

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Review #9, by Midnight spark Of Birthday Celebrations, Friendly Faces and Tests

14th August 2014:
Hey, it's me from the forums!
I know I was requested for chapter 1 but it was so nice that I read the three chapters! Lily and Aidan seems really realistic. I really want to know how they fell for each other. Maybe a flashback or something?

I had been trying to find a flow in the plot but failed to do so. It's just flawless, I guess. :)
My favorite line was 'Life is no picnic, I tell you' from chapter 2. Thank you for that chance to review!

Loved it,
~Alex

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Review #10, by enchantedx Of Illness, Assumptions and Doubt

8th July 2014:
Lily really doesn't know about her symptoms, somehow I like it better when the main girls never know they're pregnant until later. It progress the fic more, and you somehow get to know more about the character and how they're dealing. The fainting scene was also very good (I'm weird for liking such scenes, but they really add it to the fic!)

can't wait to read more of the fic:)

Author's Response: Hi!

Lily is definitely naive/ignorant right now, but of course she does eventually find out. Hehe nothing weird about that :p Maybe Aidan will be there to save her next time.

Thank you!!

Soph x


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Review #11, by enchantedx Prologue

8th July 2014:
I really like how the first chapter starts!
I'm curious to know more about Lily and Aidan, they already seems like best friends (and more!)
Will go read the next chapter now:)

Author's Response: Hey!

I didn't expect you to review, but ahh well. Thank you ♥♥

They are don't you worry, more will be explained :D

Thank you again ♥♥

Soph x


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Review #12, by marauderslover15 Of Illness, Assumptions and Doubt

24th June 2014:
Hello again! ^__^ Dez aka marauderslover15 here with your requested review.
Y
ou dive into it. You immediately let readers know the signs without having to say “Lily is pregnant” which is great. It always great not to write so bluntly and you did it! I like the fact you left Lily ignorant at the beginning. Usually with pregnancy stories, the main character does notice.

I had to let you know, I REALLY REALLY loved your metaphor, “…flower which had been revitalised.”

From last chapter, you kept the characterization on point. Aidan in the last chapter always seems to make the move and in this chapter as well. Through those little gestures, I feel as if he is confident, go-getter and in control.

I loved the reference Hugo makes as well. His statement is so true to the canon!
I though feel like it is unnecessary to mention every single character’s name unless they are speaking or being referencing to. Like Hugo’s friend or the Gryffindor Quidditch team members. I feel that interrupts the flow by giving unnecessary information to the reader and almost like listing them. If they do play a role in later chapters, then it obviously makes sense to mention them, but vaguely.

Other than that, another great chapter ! Look forward to read more =D

~marauderslover15

Author's Response:
Hi again!

Sorry it's taken so long to get back to you.

Lily is definitely very ignorant at the start, she doesn't think it's because she could be pregnant. To her it is just a sickness bug, something dodgy she ate sort of thing. I didn't want her to think oh being sick in the morning, I might be pregnant. It would have just felt too clunky to me. I wanted the doubt/thoughts put in the readers heads as well as Lily's. The little things Rose and Molly both say to her get the cogs turning in her brain.

Hehe, thank you!! That was actually from the old version of this and I loved it so much that I added it in :)

Aidan is definitely confident and slightly loud, he has quite a few siblings so in his mind he has to be. Lily obviously does take control of their relation/friendship later on because of the pregnancy and in upcoming chapters she is the one initiating their kisses/meetings.

I do love Hugo, he may be a fairly small character now but he comes out a lot as the story goes on, I means he's Aidan's best friend and Lily's cousin. There's bound to be conflict for him.

I hate trying to introduce characters, it's probably one of my weakest points along with grammar.

Quite a few of those who were mentioned such as Olivia and Hugo/Aidan's friends are important because they are all Lily's friends too and they each have a different reaction when the news comes out. As for the Quidditch team, they are fairly important as Lily is on there and her battle with being pregnant and wanting to play Quidditch is a big deal as shown in a later chapter. I've cut the Quidditch bit, moving it to a later chapter.

Thank you so much for the reviews!
-Potterfan310


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Review #13, by marauderslover15 Prologue

24th June 2014:
Hello! Dez aka marauderslover15 here with your requested review.

Okay, so first off, you have a great hook with your story. The introduction, I was thinking he was Lily’s boyfriend then best friend. After finding out he was her BEST FRIEND, I was in awe and that was a hook. Simply because as a reader, I want to know what is going to happen that she ends up pregnant by him! You further hooked me by saying that they are also friends with benefits. This sounds complicated and as a reader, that complications bring drama (which we love). BUT I became confused when you stated, “…crazy how we had never thought about it before, getting together?” For a second, I was like, Wait, are they together? But I’m amusing you mean in the physical sense?

The ending sentence was great. It keeps readers from coming back for more because I want to know what will happen with their relationship (being as complicated as it is).

You did an ah-mazing job with the flow and pace. As having him tickle her, they are physical close which leads them to kissing. It was really well-thought out! Everything went smoothly, nothing was choppy or rushed. And throughout the entire chapter was awesome character consistency.
J
ust to let you know, there was a minimum of grammar mistakes, but it happens.

AWESOME CHAPTER!

~marauderslover15

Author's Response: Hi!

Sorry it's taken so long to get back to you.

Haha, I'm glad because he is in fact just her best friend. They live next door to one another and have grown up together. Oh yes there is going to be a lot of complications, not too mention drama. There is definitely a lot to come for Aidan and Lily, they will certainly be going on a rollercoaster ride full of emotions and ups and downs. I do see what you mean, having read over so thank you for pointing it out. No they're not together, I meant just the physical sense. I'll be sure to edit!

I have a soft spot for that sentence, I just really liked it :D Oh their relationship, it will be hard at times for sure but there are good bits.

Thank you! They are very close having grown up together, I didn't want them to just kiss. I wanted that build up and them being physical as friends and then throw in the being physical with the benefits bit, if that makes sense?

Thanks for the review, I may come back in future:)
-Potterfan310


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Review #14, by jessicalorewrites Of Illness, Assumptions and Doubt

17th June 2014:
although I saw you'd updated this quite a few days ago now it's taken me 'til now to read it. Oops! Oh well, at least I'm here now -- and thank so you so much for the mention in your A/N!

Aw it's so sweet that Rose brings Lily her homework. Well, I suppose Lily doesn't find it sweet, but yeah ;) the sentiment is there.

Molly made me giggle, thinking Lily had died. She seems to be a very dramatic character but very fun nonetheless :)

Oh my gosh I always pictured Scorpius' mum as being a Healer! I know she's not really a Healer as such in this, but she's probably trained in it and I don't know it makes me super excited to see my personal head canons being represented! I hope we get to see more of her.

Arghhh Lily needs to come to her senses and realise she's pregnant! There's no use trying to ignore it. Although I feel as if the last few lines might have confirmed it for her, even if she is still trying to convince herself otherwise.

Can't wait for the next chapter :D Keep writing, you talented thing

- Jess xo

Author's Response: Hi, Jess!

Ha! I'm the same right now, I am so busy but I'm nearly done for summer so I can't complain too much. You're welcome hun.

Rose is very much a swot, it's not like Lily's friends would think of it but yes it was sweet, even if Lily doesn't think so. :p

Molly is the drama queen, I certainly hope that it later chapter this plays out because she is definitely one!

Haha, close enough. I so get what you mean, I was reading something (I'm not sure if it was one of yours or not) and I had to double take because it was something out of my personal headcanon and well, I couldn't just ingore it so I fangirled :D There is more Astoria, don't you worry.

Lily does, yes. The last few lines definitely suggest she knows that she is pregnant but alas she wants to continue denying a bit longer.

Should be up after a few other updates. And you, you talented thing!

Much love,
Soph xx


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Review #15, by HermionesSecretClone Of Illness, Assumptions and Doubt

13th June 2014:
Hello again lovely! Great chapter! Minor errors, not big enough to point out. Getting interesting! I'm just worried about Lily and the baby(Theres obviously one or it wouldn't be in the description lol!) as she hasn't been eating.Nice idea about Astoria being the nurse at Hogwarts! I'm also worried about Aidan,because as soon as James and Albus find out,he is dead meat. :)))-HSC 9/10

Author's Response: Hi!

I know, things are heating up and getting real. There definitely is a baby, lol. You're probably right to be worried but things get explained in upcoming chapters.

I was thinking Madame Pomfrey would be too old, and to make things awkward for Rose it would have to be Astoria!

Haha, oh their reactions are fun, don't you worry!

Thanks for reading and reviewing dear.

-Potterfan310


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Review #16, by HermionesSecretClone Prologue

3rd June 2014:
Hello!! I like this story!! Very few errors! But...

#1:We broke apart for less than five seconds as he frantically pulled his top over his head, but it was five minutes too long for my liking. It should say five seconds :)

#2:In the description of the story, it says Lily II/Aidan. Just saying that if people are like I am sometimes, they might go "Who's Aidan?" And keep scrolling.

Other than that it was great!! I look forward to reading and reviewing more of this story. Cheerios!-HSC 9/10

Author's Response: Hi!

Thank you for reading and reviewing. Ha oops, thanks for pointing that out, I'll be editing when I get around to requesting a CI for this. Oooh I never realised that. Oops, because I have that written on my document where the summary and things are I must have copied it over.

Thanks again. Hope to see you soon.

-Potterfan310


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Review #17, by dracoismyboyfriendguys Prologue

3rd June 2014:
Hey Sophie!
I loved this so much, they seem like amazing characters! Can't wait to see what happens ;) x
-Alice x

Author's Response: Hey Alice!

Aww thank you hun, I love writing this because it's different to my Lily's in other stories. Next chapter should be up soon(ish) no promises.

Thank for R+R'ing hun!
-Potterfan310


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Review #18, by jessicalorewrites Prologue

3rd June 2014:
Hey! The forums brought me here :D
I've seen this story up before on your authors page but never got round to reading it because, like you said, it hadn't been updated in a while. So I'm really glad you're back up updating - or should I say rewriting? Whatever.
I really love some of your other works so I can't wait to see where this story takes your characters. I've never read a Lily II pregnant fic before, I don't think, so once again, I'm excited :D
So far both Lily and Aidan seem interesting. I like the idea that even though they are friends with a few extra perks ;) that they are still best buds. I think they'd be really cute as a couple but who knows :D they seem like amazing friends anyway.
I've favourited and added to my reading so I know when you update. Yay! :) Can't wait for the next chapter already.
- Jess xo

Author's Response: Hi!

I'm always lurking over there or at TDA sometimes, it's one of the ways (like you) I've found stories which are favourites of mine now. I had totally lost muse and I'm glad you didn't read the old one, looking back on it, it was awful. Rewriting and updating yes! I have a couple of chapters already written and then I hope to write the rest for July NaNo because I'll finally be free of assignments and things.

Aww thank you! It's definitely going to be interesting and hopefully like Lily and Aidan you'll be on a rolelrcoaster of emotions too. It's the same sort of ending that I had planned out for the previous version but it's been tweaked and things have been added/changed, it's going to be a plot twist/surprising that's all I'll say! :D

In fact that was one of the reason I came up with the idea for this, not long after I got into Fanfiction actually. Lily reminded me of myself in certain ways and I wanted to play around with that and after reading Delicate (I mean who hasn't? :p) It inspired me so put them together and I got this, well the first version but this is still very similar. I'm excited too because the old version was my baby (due to being my first proper story) and it still is!

The previous version they were just dating and it annoyed me slightly for whatever reason, I felt the need to revamp their relationship and add a twist. The friends with benefits thing seemed to work when I was planning and from there it just continued, I mean that and throwing in a baby there's bound to be drama. Who knows indeed, hehe :)

Aww thank you!! It should be sometime soon, maybe a celebratory update when I finish an assignment, lol :)

This is probably such a long response, but thank you so much!!

-Potterfan310
Sophie :D


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