I like the story so far, it's original!Author's Response: Thank you! Report Review
Wow!!! Okay I have never really read a Fred /OC story so thank you for writing one!
I loved the beginning. Though there were some awkwardly phrased sentences, I believe it was a great start.
I think that maybe by upping your sentence structure, like combing short sentences and as such, this would become an even great piece!!
Thank you so much for writing this!!Author's Response: Thanks! So sorry for the late response.
I'll define consider what you said about the sentence structure. I'm aware that that is one of my weaknesses and I'm glad you pointed it out. Report Review
This is definantly one of the best stories I've read for a while. I can't wait for you to update again!!!Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'll do my best :) Report Review
Only 90 (yes, I actually counted) 'so's? You're clearly not that sorry ;) Well worth the wait!Author's Response: I'll try to post an update as soon as I can. Hopefully, it won't be so long! Report Review
post the next chapter! ahh! i want it! i love this story!Author's Response: Thanks! Keep reading! Report Review
I love this story it's AMAZING and really funny please update soon because its the best story EVER! I would put more than 10 out of 10 if i could!Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you like it :) Report Review
Review as requested.
I love the start of this and I like how its started out as a house party with Weasley but also a teenage marriage is something I wouldn't normally do, but for this it actually works. I think this story is going to be fun but maybe, as I got confused, produce some kind of story character lists? I will be doing this for my own fic.
LauraAuthor's Response: Thanks for getting to this so promptly.
I'm glad you think that. As for the characters, most of the Weasleys will be in and out. The only ones who I think it was important to get across in these two chapters were Amy, Fred, and Roxanne. Everybody else should be introduced more in the next few chapters. I do think you're right and I should make all of that more clear. Thank you, I hadn't thought of that at all! Report Review
I love the last line, it was a very nice last line if I do say so myself. And now anoth wondeful hapte has passed I am in dire need of anothe one soplase keep writing and keep a Hufflepuff happy :3 The plot of this story is really great and I need to know where this is heading so hurry up ad write more ;) As usual no grammar problems and stuff like that s you're in the clear. My reviews are getting shorter and shorter because there really is nothing to complain about, stop being a good writer! (Thats a joke by the way, please never stop writing!)
Snoopy xAuthor's Response: Thanks. I rewrote that line three times before I was satisfied. I'll be working on this story as much as I can :)
I can't tell you how much that means to me, saying I'm a good writer. Thank you so much. Report Review
Snoopy again for your 4th review so here we go!
This is turnig out to be a very interessting story, two people gtting married at a birthday party when they are drunk. How brilliant is that! I have come across a few of these two teenage married drunk sort of idea, but none has been written as quite as well as yours has. I loved every second of it and I really need to read more and more and more (you get the picture) So please fufil my wish and continue to write more :)
Snoopy xAuthor's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you think it is good and I'll try to update soon. Report Review
Omg this was great! I can already tell this is going to be an amazing story. I hope you update soon!! :)Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you like it and I'll try to finish the next chapter soon! Report Review
I freaking love this!!! Oh the things that happen when firewhisky is involved. I loved their "romantic" wedding! I think your doing a great job, in fact I'm going to go read the next chapter now! :DAuthor's Response: Thank you for taking the time to review! Please keep reading :) Report Review
Love it :) I hope you update soon :)Author's Response: Thank you! I'm just revising chapter 3 now :) Keep reading! Report Review
hahaha i think this is actually a brilliant idea for a fanfic xD
i like it so far (:
it'll be interesting to see how they progress because they're actually married. and how their family will react when they find out.
i feel like this should be the type of thing where because they're together in the first place (unless they're not...) it shouldn't matter that much but it should.
and if they're NOT already together (which i dont think so) then this should be VERY interesting lollAuthor's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you like this.
They were together before. Hopefully, it will be interesting anyway ;) Report Review
Hello! This is Nymphie Tonks from the review battle!
I quite enjoyed this first chapter! The plot you have started shows a lot of potential and I’m looking forward to seeing how it advances. You have a lot of opportunity to make this story really original and exciting! :)
My one suggestion with this chapter, though, would be to add a bit more detail into the chapter. It starts will great with Amy and Fred talking but I would love to see more detail about them getting married. It is a big part of this chapter and I would have loved to be able to read it. I’d also like a bit more of the emotions leading up to the final sentence of the chapter. Maybe her thoughts leading up to her suddenly realizing how insane it is that’s she’s married.
Also, I like your main character, Amy, too. She seems well developed and I can tell you understand her character as you write her. Which is great. It makes her character much more believable. I also like the sarcasm she uses. Maybe it’s because I love sarcasm, but it’s easy for me to relate to those sorts of situations. This actually leads me nicely into my favorite quote:
“Ouch, that hurts. I totally believe her. She's very convincing, that one. Always comes up with the cleverest of taunts.” ~This is quite amusing and amazing!
I do have a couple things I noticed while reading:
"Let's do it," I say suddenly, suddenly serious” ~The use of suddenly twice in this sentence is a bit to repetitious. I would either drop the first suddenly or change it to another word.
“She's pretty enough, I suppose, but he's told me that he thinks she is a "insane bat who doesn't know any boundaries." ~This is nitpicky, but ‘a’ is supposed to be ‘an’.
“Part of it has to do the way Nott babbles on about her brother, but mostly it is just her sheer hatred of all things Slytherin.” ~You need the word with after the word do.
Other than the few things I mentioned, this was quite a good chapter. I loved the sarcasm and hope to see more of it in future chapters! Keep up the good work!
~GrimmerzAuthor's Response: Thank you very much!
I've actually decided to rewrite this chapter and I'm definitely taking what you've said into consideration. I think I'll bump the train part to the next chapter and make those corrections. Thank you for pointing them out! Report Review
I think this story has some really good potential. Interesting plot line and I like the characters. I'm interested to see more and see some of Fred and Amy's backstory! :)Author's Response: Thank you so much :) Report Review
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