Reading Reviews for Not Another Fairytale.
  
102 Reviews Found

Review #1, by BBHP The Pygmy Puff

19th April 2017:
"Washing my broom" and "polish my bat". I'm laughing out loud throughout every chapter.

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Review #2, by BBHP The Agreement

19th April 2017:
Oh no! This "enemies-with-benefits" thing isn't going to go over well, I think. But it's such a fun story! Your original character is really good. I feel like she has a lot of depth, and we will get to find out a lot more about her in the coming chapters.

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Review #3, by BBHP The Bet

19th April 2017:
I love how they bicker! This is such a fun read.

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Review #4, by SomeTypeOfOldMagicLove The First Game

21st May 2016:
I love your story so much! Please update!!! :)

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Review #5, by Shay_Gryff The First Game

23rd January 2016:
Hey! Long time no see, I know. But now that both of us have returned I have some CCs to give you :)

1) I would recommend getting a beta. there are quite a few spelling mistakes and grammar issues that detract from the story.

2) When you cut time, the story loses its flow. Maybe instead you could write something like "after three hours of trying on different dresses, experimenting with hair charms, and piling on pounds of makeup..." etc to convey the passage of time without chopping up the chapters.

As you keep writing, you keep improving. Just make sure to keep your details consistent without including redundant information.

- Shay

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Review #6, by mandarin711 The First Date : Part II

12th December 2015:
I love this story! Albus and Daisy are so cute, I'm so excited for future chapters :) you're a great writer and its a lovely read, keep it up!

Author's Response: Hiya, this review made me smile so much. thank you for thinking so much of me and my story. I'll do my best to not disappoint.

TheGirlOnFirexx


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Review #7, by DobbyLover The Surrender

29th November 2015:
I like your story quite a bit. There are some grammar issues,but I honestly don't care that much. :)

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Review #8, by Lexie Once Upon A Time...

17th August 2015:
This is so good oml! I'm sorry I can't leave a longer review, but i'm giving up my sleep for this story (which is how you know it's good 😂.) I'm looking foward to reading the later chapters!♡

~ Lexie

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Review #9, by ssad The First Date

14th September 2014:
r we gonna get more explanation on what's going on with scorpius and rose ? ?
Other than that great chapter!

Author's Response: All shall be revealed ;)

TheGirlOnFire


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Review #10, by ssad The First Date

14th September 2014:
r we gonna get more explanation on what's going on with scorpius and rose ? ?
Other than that great chapter!

Author's Response: Yes there will be an explanation about Scorpius and Rose... just later on.

Thanks for reading and reviewing.

TheGirlOnFire xx


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Review #11, by kassandra466 The First Date

14th August 2014:
I thought they got off on the wrong foot ,but the have gotten better as time went on. Anything superb chapter and I can't wait for more.

Author's Response: Thank you, yeah they had to start getting along sometime. Keep reading and enjoy.

TheGirlOnFire xx


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Review #12, by kassandra466 That just happened.

14th August 2014:
How intriguing. I can't wait to see how this pans
out.

Author's Response: Thank you,Keep reading to find out.

TheGirlOnFire xx


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Review #13, by kassandra466 The One With The Question

14th August 2014:
I actually prefer this spacing. I really really loved this chapter. Can't wait to read more. Al and daisy are brilliant

Author's Response: Thank you,I'm glad you liked the chapter. Keep reading and hopefully keep enjoying.

TheGirlOnFirexx


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Review #14, by kassandra466 The One With The Party

14th August 2014:
Okay I really really loved this chapter. Best one yet.

Author's Response: Thank you, I'm glad you thought so.

TheGirlOnFirexx


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Review #15, by kassandra466 The Pygmy Puff

14th August 2014:
I love how when daisy told rose she already knew. It was brilliant.

Author's Response: Thank you, it's the job of a best friend to know.

TheGirlOnFirexx


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Review #16, by kassandra466 The Practice

14th August 2014:
I enjoyed it it was stupendous.

Author's Response: Thank you so much. I'm glad you liked it so much.

TheGirlOnFirexx


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Review #17, by kassandra466 The Agreement

14th August 2014:
Another flawless chapter. Well done.

Author's Response: Thank you so much.

TheGirlOnFirexx


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Review #18, by kassandra466 The Surrender

13th August 2014:
I liked it. Although the part all in italics was really distracting. But maybe this just me.

Author's Response: Thank you, the italics was a mistake. Editing error, it's fixed.

TheGirlOnFirexx


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Review #19, by kassandra466 The Bet

13th August 2014:
Ooooh, I loved this chapter. There is so much a stake and what not with all the be hullabaloo. Another lovely chapter

Author's Response: Aww thank you, that's so lovely to hear. I hope you like the rest too.

TheGirlOnFire :)


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Review #20, by kassandra466 Once Upon A Time...

13th August 2014:
I liked it. Not where I thought this was going. But I am enjoying it. Fabulous job.

Author's Response: Thank you, I'm glad you've enjoyed it so far. Hopefully you keep reading.

TheGirlOnFire xx


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Review #21, by VeronicaOlivia That just happened.

15th July 2014:
Beautiful! You have such a great story going here and I am about to fall off my seat because I need to know what will happen next!

Author's Response: Thank you so much. It means a lot to hear such nice things about my story. I'll try and keep you as entertained as possible.

TheGirlOnFire :)


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Review #22, by bri That just happened.

18th June 2014:
Good chapter, It was quite intresting reading along and trying to figure out what was daisy thinking!! Lol she need to figure out that al likes her already! Haha can't wait for the incoming chapters! Hope they come out soon!!!

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing. I'm glad you enjoyed it so far. I'll do my best to post more often. I hope you enjoy the rest.

TheGirlOnFire :)


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Review #23, by Kaitlan That just happened.

4th May 2014:
I love love love this story please keep going

Author's Response: Thank you . I will keep going, new chapter is out.

TheGirlOnFire xx


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Review #24, by Rumpelstiltskin The Agreement

16th March 2014:
Hey there, I'm here for Blackout (number 16/20).

Plot/plot arch: So, it seems there's a little trouble in their already troubled pseudo-paradise, if that's what you could call it. Information does have a way of traveling through schools, especially once it turns into more interesting misinformation, so I like that you added that little element. Fate certainly doesn't seem to be on their side in this chapter, landing themselves in detention and all. To top it off, Daisy ends up becoming partners with Albus. This can only end disastrously. Frenemies with benefits? I stand by my disastrous ending comment ;).

Characterization: Oh Daisy, such strange thoughts on a consistent basis...that's why she's a fun character. It takes a special kind of person to speculate about the impracticality of carrying coins in a bag, rather than paper money.

Other/Notes: Again, I love the interactions with dialogue, especially when your characters are arguing. You do a very good job with that.

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Hey Rumpel,
I would call it an already trouble pseudo-paradise. They're in trouble and they love causing more. Yes, rumours spreading is the worse thing in school, nothing is ever what you heard.

I'm glad you like Daisy and her crazy thought. And I'm glad you enjoyed the dialogue, I hope that I can keep it going an keep you interested.

TheGirlOnFirexx


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Review #25, by Rumpelstiltskin The Surrender

14th March 2014:
I'm back (Blackout 4/20), with a brand-new reviewing style to prevent me from rambling too much!

Plot arch, so far: Whoa boy, Dom is right when she's talking about tension ;). From the beginning, what a better way to wake up than in a slightly embarrassing situation that involves your sworn-enemy-made-ally as your pseudo-pillow. Of course, that was just the beginning of what would be the hilarious misadventures of the pancake-making extravaganza. Speaking of, just wow. I'm truly at a loss for words for that segment, it seemed like one hysterical disaster after another. The arguing over how to make the pancakes, the flower catastrophe, how the batter turned out, pouring a ton of batter into the pan, dropping the glass bowl, the disgusting pancake... it was all amazing.

Characterization: I'm going to narrow this down to only Daisy and Albus for now, because I'm limited to character numbers. Daisy, of course, is an interesting character. She's slightly insane, but that makes her all the more fun. Albus is a typical teenage boy, and seems to take pleasure in annoying the halibuts out of Daisy. As teenagers, with hormones, they seem to be playing their roles nicely.

Style: I'm just making a quick note on the story style here, because I really enjoy it. First of all, you always begin with "Once upon a time...or--", which I really just love because it's not meant to exactly be a fairy tail, although it is, and I think that reiterates the fact as well as adds a little flare to the style. The structure is also quite nice, there is a situation, and then some fantastic quirky bits of dialogue, and I love dialogue. Nobody could ever say that this story lacks conflict, because it is jam-packed with some fun conflicts. I especially like the Daisy and Albus versus Pancakes conflict, but you probably already know that. Of course, all of this inevitably end up in a kiss, even if it was the smallest of kisses, and James' intrusion. :D

Emotion: Daisy's annoyance and anger did shine through, though I've been wrapped up in hysterics throughout the entire chapter, so...yeah.

Other/Notes: Out of all the fabulous lines in this, I have to say that this one is my favorite: "The apocalypse is nigh, were all going to die." --What a fabulous afterthought to the kiss and Daisy's almost-feelings for Albus.

Fantastic job!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Hello again, I'm glad you enjoyed it. that pancake situation totally did not happen in real life. *coughs awkwardly*. I loved writing that scene, it was so much fun. I'm happy yo hear you like my portrayal of Albus and Daisy, I'm trying my best to accurately portray teenagers in the situation that Albus and Daisy are in. I'm so glad that you think they fit their roles.

So the style is something I planned form the beginning, having it fairy-tale style but not really having it as a fairy-tale. I always have an issue with the dialogue, sometimes I think its too much I'm glad you think its good. It's always nice to hear that people like the things you might not be too happy about.

I liked that line too. I thought it was an appropriate way for Daisy to react.

Thanks again. :)

-TheGirlOnFire


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