oh my GOSH you have to update this quickly!
i love it so much! :D
haha lysander xD am i sensing a love triangle here?
and lucy! xD omg!
timmm! AH! they will actually TALK tomorrow! :D
i love this. i love this. i LOVE this. udpate soon! (: Report Review
Aww Lucy will never get Tim if she doesn't talk to him! :/ I'm shipping Lucsander now though, they're so GOOD together! I think it's flowed well through all of it and I obviously like the cjharacters! They're mint. Update soon yeah? :D Report Review
I love Lucy! She's so cuuute! I love the bits of ScoRose we get through and I love her friends setting her up! I haven't really liked Lucy before but now I just really adore her! Report Review
HA. a dungbomb in her own common room, I love Hufflepuffs :') This is so funny and i adore hufflepuffs in general so yeah, great job man. Poor Lucy, nothing seems to go right for her;) I love people that are michevious! Report Review
I thought this chapter was as well written as your first.
Your characterization of Lucy is spot on from how you portrayed her from your first chapter so it's nice to see that your staying consistant. I don't see her as a 'Mary Sue' she has more dementions and personality then a 'Mary Sue' would/does. I also liked the depth of your other characters as well. They are all simply done and all of them are relatable. I do feel quite sorry for poor Lysander though.
The dialogue and descriptions of your story are all well put and thought through. The produce the vivid pictures that your intending your readers to see. The flow of the story was overall very nice and smooth except for a couple of minor parts. This first one I found made me stumble a bit..."“She’s actually fourteen James, and you were doing the same when you were her age if memory serves” Lily corrected moving her scrambled eggs around her plate." James was talking to Lucy about Lily. I am not clear if you meant to put Lily's name in here or if you meant Lucy's. The second place that I stumbled was here..."And he’d certainly changed for the better when he’d met Lucy’s mum Audrey. However what neither Fred nor Audrey had managed to do was calm his obsession with good marks and good behaviour. Which is definitely why Lucy’s mum hid the letters they received from Hogwarts listing off her bad behaviour." Before this you were talking about Audrey and George and it wasn't fully clear to me which twin you were actually intending to place here. I am not trying to be a nit pick, but I feel that you honestly have the right as an Author to know that there is a couple of areas that would flow better if they were cleared of confusion.
I have really enjoyed this story and I am excited to see where you take it. Keep up the great work! =) I look forward to reading more of your work.
-SR17 Report Review
This was an interesting chapter as I have never read anything that really has focused on Lucy Weasley. With the exception of her playing minor roles in other stories based around her cousins. It was very refreshing to read since the focus was on her.
I thought you did a good job making your characters come to life. They are girly, but it's done in a way that is tasteful and not over the top girly. I think they are all relatable characters, especially Lucy. She always chooses Dare which is predictable for her as it is others that I have known who would do the samething. This makes them much more believable because you can relate to them on some level.
When I read for flow of a story I usually look for minor word phrases that seem out of place, words that aren't spelled correctly and sentences that don't make sense and I have to read them countless times before I am able to pick up on where the mistake is. I didn't see any of those in your chapter. I thought your flow was smooth and done with ease.
Your descriptiveness was well done when describing various parts of the Hufflepuff Common Room. I could also picture in my mind the girls all sitting around in a circle playing Truth or Dare. Some stories overkill on the description aspect and it over loads the mind so it sluggishly pictures events. I am happy that yours was just the right amount.
Overall I thought this was a fun first chapter. I can't wait to see what is next. Thank you for not making Lucy a stuck up snob like others have done. I always thought she had more depth then that despite her parents.
Keep up the great work! =)
-SR17 Report Review
Blerg! I never thought I would love a Next Gen that isn't a ScoRose so much! Especially with the ScoRose ship being mentioned so casually, it makes me giggle and I love it. This was a great girly chapter, its got just enough of the girly stuff with out going over the top. And getting to meet some of the family was great too, their relationships are very believable. Also, Lysander, I like him and can't wait to see where that goes. Great second chapter!
-brithewriter Report Review
Here I am reviewing for the review swap!
Ooooh another interesting chapter! I love how you in this expand on Molly's personality and attempt to show how she could stick up for herself by refusing to help James. Also your characterisation of James was fab! He comes across as the over protective older brother that all the Weasley's were to Ginny so it makes it believable.
Lysander's really cute with asking Molly for help. They should just get together and get it over with because they'd make a cute couple especially because he'd already sort of formed an alliance with her by not reporting her for setting off dungbombs in the Common Room!
It was interesting to see Lucy's view on her dad and how much he compared her to Molly. molly seems to be the carbon copy of Percy that he would want his daughter's to be but Lucy seems to have more of a bubbly personality and one in which she doesn't care what her father thinks. The comparison to Al and the fact his parent's threw him a party shows the stark contrast between the family.
Molly's friends really do make me laugh with their attempts to set Molly up. Mission Seventeen Candles sounds very interesting and I can't wait to see where you go with it!!!
A very nice chapter and I also can't wait to read your review! Report Review
Okay, I just want to say that this story is VERY promising. I can really imagine being in Lucy's situation, which means you are a very good writer. Anyway, there's some beautiful writing in here, and I'm sure this story is going to be great! 10/10, and keep on writing ;*Author's Response: Oh thank you!
I think Lucy's situation is not very uncommon at all. I just wanted to write something which captured how a teenager would feel. I normally don't write stuff that's Hogwarts centric, but I'm enjoying this.
Thanks so much for reviewing, I really appreciate it. Report Review
For a first chapter this is both insightful but also leaves just a small lack of information that people want more of!
The fact that it focuses in on Lucy Weasley is intriguing as she is a very little explored character with no specific cliques that apply to her so I think you've done really well to try and develop a canon character which is almost like an OC.
I love the way that you've thrown us straight into action with a truth or dare game bewteen friends which shows how Lucy immediatly contrasts with the people around her which makes good reading. It also gives us a little snippet into Lucy's personality by saying that she hasn't been kissed and isn't very much experienced.
I find it interesting though that she isn't the goody-two shoes that you'd expect Percy's children to be.
I'm interested to see where you go with this story! I will favourite now!Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review. The reason I love Next Gen is that essentially all of the kids are almost like OC's - we have so much room to move in what their personalities are like, but we still have the knowledge of their families who their parents are and essentially still have a structure on what we can do.
So I'm really glad you like Lucy, I'm loving her at the moment, she seems to be writing herself!
Thanks again for the review!
this is an exellent beginning to the story and i can't wait to read the next chapterAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing and I'm so glad you enjoyed the first instalment! The next chapter is in the queue waiting for validation so hopefully it will be out soon!
Thanks again. Report Review
This is an excellent start to your story. I loved the dare that Lucy's dorm mates came up with, but being a Hufflepuff myself I don't think I would be to pleased at starting out with negative points.
I can't wait to see what you come up with next so 10/10 and adding to favs so I know when you update.Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing. I don't usually write about the Puff's - being in Ravenclaw myself, but I've hardly read any stories about them and I've always had a bit of a soft spot for Hufflepuffs!
I'm so glad you enjoyed it, I've been umming and ahhing over this story but decided to post it, the next chapter is already in the queue.
Thanks again, your review has honestly made my day! Report Review
Hello! Poor Lucy, but you know being seventeen and not having been kissed yet isn't that uncommon, I haven't been kissed yet! But then again I'm kind of a loser. :)
Great story!Author's Response: Oh I know seventeen isn't that old! I just feel like when you're a teenager it feels like the end of the world, which is why it's such a huge deal for her.
Thanks so much for reviewing, I'm glad you liked it! Report Review
Okay, I'm glad that this will be more than a one shot. It is very cute, and a realistic girly night. Good job on that! Lucy isn't a common main character, so kudos on that as well especially for making her not like Percy or hateful. I like her. :DAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing! I really like Lucy too, so I'm glad you do as well. I haven't read many next gen's that revolve around Lucy but she just popped into my head and I had to write her. Thanks again! Report Review
Wow(: I really loved the dung bombs,and I loved how Lucy is a hufflepuff. To be honest,I haven't read to many stories about hufflepuffs,so its a nice change! I think everything was great,but I do hope to see a bit more characterization in the next chapter(: yes,I will be reviewing the next chapter seeing as how I am extremely curious as to were you're taking it. You have written this chapter cleverly, in such a way that leaves it open for so many possibilities(: I am hoping to Lysander in the next chapter as well? Hopefully! If not,I am certainly anxious to see if theres another boy(: On one last side note,I'm not quite sure how to describe it,but your writing is rather tasteful,if you get what I'm saying,if not...well,then I sound like an idiot.
Great work doll:D I can't wait to read more!
EverAuthor's Response: You are a dangerous flatterer, I think my ego expanded to twice it's size after this review!
I'm so glad you liked it, it was literally something that came to me and I just sat down and wrote out almost two chapters. Putting Lucy into Hufflepuff was just - there was no other option for me, especially the type of story I want this to be. I feel like Hufflepuff's would be these unassuming typical teenage girls without much house rivalry or judgement of others.
There is definitely more characterisation in the next chapter (which is in the queue waiting to be validated) and hopefully if you get the chance to have a read through, it'll make you get more of a sense of Lucy and what's going to happen in this fic.
Don't worry, Lysander will be making many more appearances including some other male specimens.
Thank you so much for taking the time to review, it honestly means the world to me.
B Report Review
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