I love how you started this chapter just like the previous one. For a second there I thought that I was reading the same first chapter again until the narrative started focusing on Augusta instead of Neville.
I can totally relate to Hannah's feelings about Augusta. I mean, it felt like she kinda cared for Neville...just because he was Frank's son. Put up with him. But only, just only, when Neville showed bravery in DH, she all of the sudden cared for him. It just didn't feel right. Ugh!
I seriously got teary eyed again reading this second chapter.
Come on, no one could ever be as ridiculously Gryffindor-like as Harry! He took it to the extreme... ---There has never been a much truer line about Harry than this!
Awww, the end was cute!! :) However, how did Neville get the letter to Little Neville? The Time Turners were destroyed...unless there's a new batch. Haha, sorry, just started to wonder about it. XD
Overall this was definitely a great story. I was able to see the difference both in confidence and attitude between the young and old Neville. Even Augusta's attitude is somewhat different...yet the same. She's still trying to see Frank in Neville but he knows how to handle it better.
I absolutely love this. I'm adding it to my faves.
Thanks for the lovely read!
--Rosie/Perelandra Report Review
Hey hey hey! Saw that you signed up for the Gryffindor V Slytherin review so I figured I should come here and review!
The first thing that struck me about this chapter is how well you paint a picture. I managed to imagine perfectly well in my head both Neville and Augusta just sitting and enjoying their breakfast. Many people forget about imagery so it always makes me happy when authors remember and take their time to paint the picture instead of rushing into their story.
Of course, Frank had done it way better and when she got that glassy look in her eyes, remembering how great Frank had been, Neville and whatever he was doing, disappeared from her thoughts.
That line right there...ugh, my feels for Neville, I just want to hug the boy. Poor little guy. Augusta never stroke me as a kind woman...You definitely managed to get to Augusta's true thoughts and Neville's emotions with just one sentence.
Neville's letter was so heart breaking though! Seriously! It made me teary eyed just reading it. You definitely managed to get inside the head of a boy who is invisible to the only parent he's ever known. He grows up thinking he's not good enough and that he'll be forever alone and that's just sad for a little boy to think that way. My poor feelings! :S
To be honest, I didn't see any mistakes so definitely no CC from me. :)
Now I have to know what's in chapter 2! How Neville is going to react to seeing that letter!
--Rosie Report Review
There were some mistakes in this chapter.
Even my first day teaching at Hogwarts was less nerve-wracking then this then is similar to after. For example, he got up and then he brushed his teeth. Here you need than - she likes him more than you.
Sorry to disturbed you children I think you meant 'disturb'. Also, there's quite a lot of punctuation errors, like missing commas. You can use the Beta section over at the forums and have a quick beta look it over for you and fix these little things. Some of the sentences are jumbled together without the needed commas.
Other than that, this was so lovely. It was so nice of Neville to stay with Augusta the whole summer before he got married. He really showed her some loyalty and maybe also thanks for raising him after his parents lost their mind. I felt sad for her when she went to get the letter and started to feel the old age creeping up on her. I'd only suggest to somehow separate that section from what comes next. Because first we have Augusta and her thoughts and then suddenly it's Hannah talking to Neville, which is a bit confusing. I also missed a bit of closure for Augusta's character. But moving on.
I think you wrote Hannah SO WELL. I really believed these two people love each other. She was so lovely to Neville, so caring and gentle, just like the woman I think he needs. I loved their moment and I loved that she read the letter with him. I never cared for the pairing much, because I hardly noticed Hannah, but this one scene made me root for them all the way.
And Neville...oh my sweet, brave Neville. He turned out just perfect, and I'm so glad he realized all that in the end. We can't be crazily brave from start like Harry all the time. Some people need slow growing and need their time, and I think Neville came to know that and be proud of himself, and it was simply so touching. The letter he wrote to little Neville in the end was brilliand and just so beautiful. I really think you've written a wonderful story. The idea was very unique and you gave Neville a nice depth. I'm so glad I got here through the tag and got to read it. Great job. I'll have to check out more of your work! :)
LizAuthor's Response: First, thanks for spotting those errors, I'll get to them soon!
Neville loves his Gran, no matter how strict she is, she is still the one that raised him and loved him in her own particular way. I think that with the years, he would have learned to recognize that her way of loving him might be a bit cold but it is still love and she means well.
As for Hannah, well I'm really glad you like her!
It was hard to figure out what kind of girl would get Neville's heart; it couldn't be someone too outspoken and "outthere" but I thought that getting the true Hufflepuff characteristics out of her would be best.
Wow, your kind words really touched me. I'm really pleased you liked this short-story and thought it was rounded up enough (though I will try to change things a bit according to your comments; they are really appropriate). It was fun to write and really quite easy considering the impressive change this boy went though. Thanks again for taking the time to review both chapters, I really appreciate it a lot! Report Review
Oh my God. This piece here is amazing so far. There are so many little things in this chapter. First off, Neville's narrative was very sweet, a little sad, and in my opinion very good for an eleven-year-old. Some of your descriptions or expressions were really great and they also touched me in a way.
...the security of his loneliness.
That part speaks so much. I've been a very lonely child and I remember how scared I always got when I had to go to a new school, meet new people and I always felt much safer when I was by myself for a reason. Throughout this entire chapter I just wanted to hug Neville and take him out for a huge ice cream.
You also described his granny very well. The way her eyes glazed over when she thought of Frank was brilliantly done. I could feel her pain upon losing him. It was also sad when she looked at Neville as if he was a disappointment, but I think he imagined half of it and the other half was not Augusta being mean, maybe a bit strict. I think she always meant well for Neville, even though she was sometimes harsh with words.
And then the letter, oh gosh the letter! But it's amazing in a way that even though he was such a little scared boy with no confidence, he grew up into such an extraordinary man and I can't wait to read how he reacts when he reads the letter. Off to the next chapter. :)
LizAuthor's Response: Hi! Wow, you really just made my day with such a nice review.
Poor Neville definitly need a hug and ice cream in this chapter (and the fist couple years of school as well). I think he was very much protected by his Grandmother as a child and she wouldn't have let him explore the world and meet too many people in order to keep him from harm and so, his loneliness would have become a security.
Yeah, I agree with you, Neville sees what he wants to see in his Gran's eyes. To me, it's probably more sadness she feels; sadness that this poor boy sitting in front of her would never get to know his dad.
Finally, I'm glad you liked the letter and thought it was appropriate for the kind of boy I described in there. It is amazing to think of what he became as he grew up. I hope you will find the change appropriate in the second chapter!
Thanks again! Report Review
This was so so so sweet. Neville is just so awesome, and you let his unbelievable awesomeness shine through! Its funny, because I never really noticed Neville aside from him being a sort of comic relief. Then, in GoF you get his backstory, and that's when I really started liking Neville. By DH, he had become one of my favorites. I love the way Hannah's here with him, and the way they talk about his old insecurities. I think you really articulated the way Neville felt. All that about living up to his dad and all...*sniff* Anyway, great job! I loved it all!Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed this Neville, I think he had so much to offer, even in his younger days when he was to shy to let the others know him.
I'm like you; I first saw him as a comic relief but the more info we got about his backstory and the more I loved the character and could appreciate what he was going through. As for living up to his dad, well, most boys, even if they know their dad, wish to make him proud and live up to them so I can expect (and based on Harry, we can pretty much confirm) that Neville would feel the same.
Thanks for taking the time to review, I really appreciate it! Report Review
Bahhh you made my heart hurt so much for that little eleven year old with no confidence. I think you really did a grea job with portraying him and Augusta. She's not 'sweet' but it's obvious she loves him. And he's terrified of disappointing anyone, very true to his character.
I think you have a very good hold on these two characters, the only thing I would have liked to see was a bit more description while he was writing the letters. More emotional than physical, because putting all that into words couldn't have been easy.
Great job!!! And thank you for being a lovely Gryffie and reviewing the podcasts!!
JamiAuthor's Response: Thanks so much for these kind words; I'm so glad you enjoyed my vision of young Neville and found it true to character!
Your suggestion about adding some emotional description is very interesting and I will definitly look into adding some things there. After re-reading this part, I have to agree with you that it feels like something is missing, especially since the emotions have been described everywhere else in the chapter!
Thank you for being an awesome Gryffie :) Report Review
Reading the follow on chapter and I must say I think it's even better than the first chapter!
It is absolutely fab as it just emphasised the way things change over such a short space of time (well over 14 years). This is actually so sweet as it makes me realise just how much he has changed from how he was when he was younger to now when he has been through the war!
I find it so lovely that he has found happiness with his wife! And it's so adorable how you make him write a letter to his youn ger self just as he did to his older self!
Well done!Author's Response: Really? Better than the first, well thank you so much for saying that!
14 years may be short when compared to an entire lifetime but to these people, those were pretty heavy 14 years!! Neville has changed a lot from the first time we saw him in the original books and it was a lot of fun having the opportunity to show that off. He became a confident and strong young man and yes, he did find happiness which, to him, was really all that mattered.
Thanks again for this lovely review, I really appreciated it! Report Review
I'm so sorry I didn't review sooner!
This is an extremely talented piece :) It shows perfectly Neville's evolution from that dorky (ish) boy to a hero. The letters are just so good, the emotions are real and you really captured what Neville could've felt there.
This is a rather fresh start to any letter-stories I've read, fresh in the sense of the content. The language, the realization of disappointment, writing a letter to himself!
Continue the good work :)
ImagineHarmony/VividImagination, HufflepuffAuthor's Response: Wow, I'm so sorry I didn't answer this sooner. I apologise but real life is crazy and answering reviews was just so far away in my to-do list.
But I get to it now so, it's not so bad, right?
First off, thank you so much for those kind words, you are making me blush like crazy over here! I'm so touched that you enjoyed this chapter and felt it was true to what Neville was going through.
Thanks again, you really made my day :) Report Review
Realised how clever this was: so somehow Neville sent the letter to his 11yr old self in the past, so he would keep going and not give up :)
I think? haha
That really was very sweet: all of it: Hannah, his gran, the letter and just the overall message that while others thought Neville was a loser, he wasn't in the end and never gave up, however much he knew others didn't believe in him :)
-LizzfizzAuthor's Response: Hi!
Yeah, I like to think he did send the letter (although he could have imagined the whole thing, who really knows :) ).
You perfectly got the message I wanted to send with this chapter and it really touches me to read that; makes me feel like I did a good job afterall!! Thank you so much for the review, it really made my day to read what you thought of this chapter.
First off awesome idea :)
- As much as it does make sense in a way, I think that from what we know about 11 yr old Neville Longbottom is that he if forgetful and doesn't usually learn from his mistakes when he is that age, so maybe he would forget that his gran needed at least three cups of tea before she could be bombarded by his questions and about how long he had before it got too hot outside.
- I don't imagine Neville being hurt by not being trusted, but then I never really thought in detail about Neville's thoughts.
- I think it's a very interesting and realistic idea that Augusta Longbottom was always comparing Neville to his father, reminiscing a lot about her son.
- Like the mention to Neville's love of plants and flowers, foreshadows how he's great at Herbology.
- I think Neville yes he wouldn't have much self-confidence but maybe he is a little over-depressed? Just a bit, I think Neville is a bit more hopeful.
Anyway, it is very sweet how he's so scared and nervous about Hogwarts and being a Gryffindor for his Gran. :)
-Lizzfizz :)Author's Response: Thank you so much for such a kind review!
First, as much as I think you are right about him being forgetful, I am convinced that after being snapped angrily by his gran for a couple years, he would remember to wait at least until the three cups are down! No matter how forgetful we are in life, their are some routinely things that we pick up and they are just part of our lives.
Being trusted is foundamental to develop a good self esteem and a sense of self. By being constantly doubted, Neville would be very insecure about doing the right /wrong thing and that is hurtfull, especially when you are a "big boy" about to go alone at school. That is my perception anyway.
You maybe right, maybe I do see him as a bit over-depressed. In my mind, I don't think Neville thought he had any qualities worth much. It's hard to dream about a future and be hopeful when you don't think you are worth much but again, that is my opinion.
Thanks so much for your insight though,it really helped me re-question this story and the decisions I made while writing it. I think all of your points are valid and definitly deserve to be looked over, which I will do for sure; thanks! Report Review
Wow. Word cannot begin to express how amazed I am at how this two-shot has turned out.
Your characterization and descriptiveness is wonderfully done. The flow of your story is smooth. I checked for grammar errors, but wasn't able to locate any.
I think the length of the story is wonderful and doesn't need to be changed at all.
I'm still just in awe of your story. Keep up your great writting!
P.s. Ignore my dialogue mistake from the previous chapter. I was thinking of something else when I typed that little bit in and realized that it wasn't right. Sorry about that. Report Review
This was truly an amazing story. I find this to be very believable and find that Neville is portrayed very well in character as much as his Gran is. I also like your descriptiveness; it really helps produce a clear visual to the reader about what it is that you're seeing in your mind.
I think that this chapter is the perfect length and you accomplished what it is that you started out to do; write a simply well put, thought out chapter on a younger version of the 11 year old boy.
I thought that the flow of your chapter was quite fluid yet, there were a couple of places I did needed to re-read. This is also going to include grammar. I am not really great at grammar, but I did give it my best shot.
"It's a big day for you," she nodded importantly, smiling lightly suddenly.
The part where you say: smiling lightly suddenly. This was a bit confusing to me when I read it. I even read it out loud, but still found that it sounded a bit off. I think it may have to do with the wording? I figured I would point that out.
"you know, there is something I want you to do today; something I made your father do precisely thirty-four years ago."
I also found that you forgot to capitalize the begining of your next sentence.
"Carefully, Neville set his bottle of ink and his quill next to him; the pieces of parchment laid on his bared, crossed legs."
I wasn't sure if you meant bared or bare.
"And she's right, I really am a disappointment to the Longbottom name and to the wizarding community as well."
The last thing that I found is that a semi-colon could go between right and I as you are explaining two alike things. Just a suggestion.
Overall, I thought that this was an amazing chapter with a lot of intrigue and appeal. I really love Neville because he is down on himself, and if he only knew what he would grow up to do he would be stunned. Not to mention that he was second runner up in being the 'Boy who Lived'.
I can't wait to see what the next chapter brings. Keep up the great work! =)
-SR17 Report Review
First off, I loved how you evolved Neville's character. Seeing them side by side in this fic was really wonderful. I don't think I mentioned this in my review of the first chapter, but I loved the fact that Neville had waited for his Gran's thrid cup of tea before trying any sort of conversation with her. I kind of missed the mention of tea here, but that's probably because I like tea too much. :)
I love that Hannah is so supportive of Neville, how she sticks by the memory of him when she first met him and tells him that what he had considered his weaknesses were the things she liked the best about him.
The twist here, of the second letter, was really great as well. I love the idea of little Neville getting a pep talk from his older self, right before setting off to Hogwarts, to stand strong and persevere. It seemed to be exactly what little Neville needed.
A little bit of crit: the flow is again excellent, but I found my attention waning just slightly during the conversation between Hannah and Neville, and I'm not sure why. Was it too long? I don't know. Nothing seems extraneous or out of place. Just thought I'd mention it.
Lastly, sorry for the delay of these reviews. My computer is simply not behaving today, so I'd better type quickly before it does something else less than savory.Author's Response: Hi again!
Well, I'd like to point out that it wasn't me that had Neville evolve like that but Jk Rowling! I tried to hold true to canon, albeit adding a few more years of maturity to the canon but still, there was no need to add too much. As you said, putting the two stories side to side, the evolution is impressive!
Hannah is a true Hufflepuff AND she's a woman in love; how much more supportive can you get, right? She was fun to write and her relationship with Neville was also easy going and wrote itself; they just fit together.
The second letter was not originally supposed to be there but I couldn't pass the opportunity for Neville to give himself a pep talk! I'm working hard against myself to not write this moment as well because I think it would break the whole of this story. Neville actually received this letter around october, after a full month at Hogwarts where he wasn't all that great and didn't really make friends and still couldn't see what he was doing in Gryffindor, most likely after a tough day of being bullied by Snape. I don't know, I might write it, might not...
I went back on the conversation with Hannah and I think I see what you mean. I'll work on it a bit, try to make it shorter, less repetitive in some way. Thanks for the comment, I really appreciate it!
Once again, thank you so much for these reviews and it is now my time to apologize for the lateness on my response! Report Review
What a wonderful idea you came up with for this challenge! It fit perfectly with how shy and withdrawn Neville seemed in the early books, and the pressure his gran may have inadvertently put upon him while growing up. Caretakers seem to do that, and they can be so completely unaware of the effects they have on the children. You portrayed this beautifully. Poor Neville's letter sounded so forlorn and hopeless, like he wasn't even going to try to better his situation. The characters were well done, the flow was perfect, and I enjoyed this first of your two-shot!Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review, it really put a smile on my face!
It was a lot of fun writting this story but mostly, going back to the first books and reading about this witdrawn and sad little boy and how much he did change through the series.
I think you are right there, his gran put so much pressure on him and she probably didn't mean too; she only wanted him to be good and perform like his father had. We ideolize the deads or impaired and only remember the good things they did and the good moments we had with them; selective memory is human nature. But it can have pretty bad consequences on the others though and Neville had the short hand of the stick there. He wanted to be good but it was never enough, never good in his gran's eye although it would certaintly have been great in his own mother's eye!
I wanted the letter to show that; show how little confidence and self-estime he had. How he never imagined he'd get to do great things. The paradoxe with what he became was pretty big once the two chapters are put together though!!
Thanks again for the review and sorry for the late response! Report Review
Wow. What a beautiful ending. I am a huge fan of well-done Neville stories and this is a great one, even though it's short.
First off, it feels so wonderful to see Neville get the happy ending that he deserves. After all the struggles and all the isolation, it all comes together in such a great way. Your portrayal of his relationship with Hannah was so warm and comfortable. She really has found the best in him. Her defensive reaction to reading about his grandmother's treatment of Little Neville was touching.
And the letter he writes back to himself was perfectly done. It wasn't too long or too high-minded and it doesn't do anything that violates causality. It sounded like Neville. I don't know whether you meant to imply that the letter somehow reached Little Neville or whether that's just left up to the reader to decide, but the hint of that happening was a really nice touch.
This story made my morning!Author's Response: Aw, you really, really made my day with this review; I'm blushing like crazy over here, reading this!
I'm glad you like this more laid back Neville; I always pictured him getting this kind of funny personality after the war. Contrary to someone like Harry, I think Neville beneficiated of the war and discovered himself though his actions. For him to simply have a future is a big thing. I had fun writting Hannah as well; I wanted her to be a nice complement to Neville, a true loyal and kind-hearted hufflepuff.
I'm glad you liked the letter he wrote at the end and yes, it is deliberate that we do not know wether the letter really did go back of if it was all in his imagination. In my idea, it did (actually, that third story is already written, I'm debating wether to post it or just to leave it at that...) but I wanted to be a simple boost for the young boy.
Well, I'm glad you liked it and your reviews really made me happy. Thank you so very much! Report Review
Tagging you from the Review the Person Above You thread.
Wow. Neville is so hard on himself. I think it's perfectly in character for him at this age, but it's still a little hard to read. When I think about the canon characters, my automatic reflex is to think of them as they were in HBP or DH. It really takes me back to remember what a shy, awkward, introverted boy Neville was in the first book.
I think you nailed all of Neville's dialog. It sounded just like him. The fear and reverence he has for his grandmother, the slight awkwardness.
And then there's the letter, itself. Poor, poor Neville. It's kind of heart-breaking to read, but also oddly uplifting. This poor kid who feels like he's a failure and always will be turns out to be one of the heroes of the war. It really goes to show how people can change.
I'm going to go ahead and read and review chapter 2, as though I could have helped myself! Well done!Author's Response: Hello and thank you a billion times for this nice review! Just hearing that you think I wrote Neville in-character is an amazing comment and means the world to me.
It was fun to go back and take a lot at how bumbly and, almost pathetic, this boy was at first. It was impossible to imagine Neville would end up a hero and thats what appealed to me here; surely, if us, readers, didn't see it coming, then the boy himself hasn't!
I tried making his relationship with his Gran true to cannon; I don't think she was a mean person per se, it's more that she was a bit disapointed at how her grandson turned out, compared to how his father was. And we all know that the people that aren't present are always idealized...
Glad you liked it, even if it was short, and I can't wait to see what you thought of chapter 2 as well; thanks for reading" Report Review
Aw, Neville, don't be too hard on yourself! In the movies, when you grow up, you actually turn out to be cuter than Harry and Draco! :)
The premise of this story is so cute! I don't know what the challenge entailed (obviously letters) but the idea to write a letter to your "Old Self" (which I like how Neville is writing the letter as if he will be "really old" when he gets it - is a brilliant idea (and wow, that sentence totally got away from me, it's a bit late...).
This is so Neville: The Beginning Years. He's so not thinking that anything is going to go his way yet here I am snickering because he's going to lead a resistance in the place of the Boy Who Lived who's busy doing something else. I like the interplay between Gran and Neville as it seems pretty IC from what we know of her.
I'll probably pop by later when I'm more sequitur to read the other chappie. Nice one here though!
xCharAuthor's Response: Ahahaha, he does turn out cuter!!
The challenge was to show how much the character has changed through a period of time, starting with a letter. I think that the "old Neville" joke is actually what started me on this. A couple days ago, I heard a song that I had not heard in years and the singer makes a reference to his age in it and I remembered thinking, back when I was younger, that the singer was really old... I am now older than the age the singer mentions in the song and no, I am NOT old!!!
When you're eleven, being twenty is just so far away and for Neville, unatainable. As a child, you see yourself according to what others tell you and for Neville, the person giving him a reflexion is his Gran and she, unvolontarily, is disapointed in him. I think she really expected him to be just like his father and now that she has lost him, well he has become some sort of idealisation that is imposible for Neville to reach.
I'm glad you liked it and hope to see you back again! Thanks again for the lovely review!!
I had to go back and read the second chapter of this story. I was really not disappointed, this story was absolutely beautiful, I love the way Hannah and Neville are so close and the way she feels anger when she thinks of his gran hurting his feelings is so lovely.Author's Response: Oh you are so nice for coming back! Your kind words really make me happy and I'm so glad you liked Neville and Hannah's relationship (and Hannah herself).
Thanks again for this review, means a lot to me! Report Review
(I'm not logged in)
Sorry for giving you the review so late! But I couldn't wait to read this so I'm glad we swapped. Your characterzation is spot-on (as usual) poor Neville, I feel so bad. He's so scared.Author's Response: Ah thanks so much, I'm glad you liked it and thought Neville was good. Thinking back on how he was in the first book, it seems pretty evident that he was terrified of going to Hogwarts!
Hi Akussa! VioletBlade here with your rather late review! Unfortunately, I am only able to review one chapter at a time with RL being kind of crazy and whatnot! However, feel free to re-request the next chapter when I've opened my queue again, if you'd like! (:
Plot: Oh, I just love Neville. You got my soft spot here, for sure. He's one of the characters I never expected to like, but by the end of the books I couldn't imagine the HP series without him! This is original too, as I don't find many stories specifically on Neville, and especially not like this! I really like the idea that he writes this letter to himself, and after knowing what the reader knows about his story, realizing how far he's come throughout his Hogwarts years! Your descriptions were done really well, too! :)
Characterization: I think you've got eleven-year-old Neville down pretty well! I like that you've interjected the bit about him loving his Gran's garden and that he's bound to forget a bunch of things after packing. It's definitely Neville! And I liked your characterization of Gran, too, it definitely broke my heart that his Gran doesn't believe it in him all that much right now, but I think it fits aptly with how she's seen in the first book. We know she changes later, when Neville matures and grows as a character, though, which is good!
Grammar: I didn't see much here, just an odd nit-picky thing here and there, but nothing that distracted from the overall flow of the chapter! If you want to fix them, here's what I saw:
“Well Neville, are you all set to go?” She suddenly asked," Author's Response: Hello and thank you so much for taking the time to read this in dept (and finishing the review in my inbox!!).
It was alot of fun to go back to the beginning and take a look at this, almost pathetic, little boy. He really had no confidence whatsoever and when you know how it turns out, you really just want to tell him to hold on; he'll get his shinning say!
I will look out for those errors you identified. Thank you very much for pointing them out, you just made me realized an English grammar rule that I didn't know and always had wrong!! I will now go through every single of my stories to change it!!!
Once again, thank you very much for doing this, I will definitly go back to your thread for chapter 2!! Report Review
This is so sweet!
I love Neville! He is one of the most amazing characters that developed throughout the books maybe more than the other characters and he really did prove that he had a place in Hogwarts and that he was 'worthy' of being a Longbottom.
I love his letter because it shows his little insecurities and what he thought would happen but it really shows how little he thought about his abilities!
Well done!Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much for this review, I'm glad you liked this little story.
It was a lot of fun writting this while knowing how it will all end up for him. He thought so little of himself and yet, he managed to be a leader of the resistance just a bunch of years later.
Thanks again for reading this, I appreciate it a lot" Report Review
Hi! Sorry this is so late - real life and logging issues got in the way. So this would have been sooner. :)
Anyway, I really liked this! Your description, dialogue and detail is just so amazing! I love how you characterise all the characters - Neville and Gran! This was so amazing!
Emma xxAuthor's Response: No problem at all; I wasn't worried you'd get to it once you had time!
I'm glad you liked the dialogues and characterization of Neville and his Gran; it was a bit hard to write them without falling into the overdramatisation of it all! Thanks for the review! Report Review
Another excellent chapter. I loved how you compared the small nervous and a bit scared younger Neville and the bold brave grown up Neville. It shows the small unsure smaller version of most people and the more positive and sure person that most of us become. Another excellent chapter and 10/10. Thank you for the read.Author's Response: No, thank YOU for the read and the sweet review! Your kind words are the best morning call of all time!!!
I'm glad you perceived all that because this is precisely what I wanted to show; how much he changed but mostly, how much this little Neville is a part of what he is now, as an adult. You are right, everyone of us, as adults, are simply evolutions of what we were as kids. A personality never really changes; it's the behaviors and how we chose to act that change.
Thanks again for this review! Report Review
In a way a sad letter of a little boy who has no dreams, ambitions and confidence in himself while he was writing. It'll be interesting to see how things turn out.
A great start (as always) to your story and I look forward to your update. 10/10.Author's Response: Thank you so much for this kind an unexpected review! This is exactly what I wanted, and felt, Neville was like in the first book (and basically, until the fifth). When you don't like yourself and don't see the good sides of yourself, you can't really imagine things changing in a near future. Neville relied on his Gran's perception to evaluate what kind of person he was (like most children do) and she didn't reflect much positive.
I'm glad you liked and thank you, once again, for taking the time to give me your opinion, it always makes my day! Report Review
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