Reading Reviews for Not just a Barmaid.
  
23 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Owlpost68 Days of News

2nd April 2012:
AAHH! how dare you leave it like that!! :P No really, it's brilliant, but my eye did just twitch.
This is a brilliant story, I love her characterization, I love the relationships she has with Aberforth, and Molly, and all the people you've included that are all canon-ly wonderful :) I'd always pictured Sirius with Marlene too. And I'm so happy you told us what you thought she did during school days. I'd always wondered if she'd gone. Plus everything about her father, and her fear of fire, and silence. All beautifully written. It does make me wonder how old Aberforth is supposed to be if she's in her 20's or 30's maybe. But then again, with wizards being able to live so long, I bet it's not uncommon to be with people much older or younger. I love Molly and her being pregnant :D I can't wait to see more of the 2 together. I'm really wondering what that message is about... Please update soon!

Author's Response: Haha *evil chuckle* Thanks for the review!! Your eye twitched? Oh dear :)
Aw! Thank you! Canon-ly wonderful, lol. I love that phrase. I'm going to hug it.

Wow, this is the nicest unexpected review ever! Aberforth is about 34 in this, and that's /almost/ his canon age. Maybe a few years give or take. And Bella is 29 :) But they may not be together romantically...it's more of a bromance at the moment.

WAIT AND SEE! I will be updating as soon as possible :D
LWG


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Review #2, by Aphoride Days of News

30th March 2012:
I'm here! I'm here! I'm late - but I'm here! :D

Ah, I loved this! I love how the plot is coming along slowly but it's subtle - with Garrett Brandon and his mysteriousness (it is a word. I say it is :P) and now with the sign above the Broomie... things are happening! You're showing a war, bringing the feeling of a war to the story without describing pitched battle scenes in the middle of Hogsmeade or anything, which is great. (I'm actually kinda jealous, lol).

Bella's personality is really coming along - her friendship with Molly, despite an obvious age difference between them, is just lovely. The scene flows so well and I could literally see it happening in my head as I read it. And I definitely agree - weird sayings and a pretty dress make EVERYTHING better :D

Ah, you mentioned her elusive family! I'm almost hoping her sister does come over anyway, despite the war and everything going on, because I get the feeling that they're really different people and the interaction would be interesting. It was good to hear more about her family, as well, and about her dad - even if we don't know why he was killed or how, we can guess it was by the Death Eaters.

I love Aberforth! He's so worried about Bella - it's like she's his surrogate Ariana (kinda... not totally, of course, but... oh, you know what I mean!) - and it's just such a lovely, lovely relationship between the two of them. Her confusion was so natural, as well, seeing as she had no idea what had happened and so no idea why he was acting like that. I'm sure most people would have reacted similarly in the same situation.

I'm curious as to what she's 'too late' for and I really, really hope the mysterious Garrett Brandon returns soon :P

Keep going! :D

Aph xx

Author's Response: Aph! Never fear about lateness! (This reply is late enough-but I told you in our PM why :P). And I was late reviewing Seeing Double so we're even stevens. (Where does that phrase even come from? It doesn't even make sense...)

But, yeah. Thank you!

Mysteriousness is a word...I think... *grabs dictionary, but doesn't actually cos I hate dictionaries and take years to find a word*

N'aww, don't be jealous! There are so many edits and changes I need to make, I can't even begin.

Don't you worry! I think Bella's sister will definitely make an appearance at some point :P

The ABerforth-Bella relationship is very brother-sister based, definitely! I love that. Too much romance in a story can kill it sometimes. And I don't know..the plot's a little muddled in my mind ta the moment so I think I'm gonna need a while to straighten things out and stuff.

Thanks for the review-I will keep going!
Annon xx


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Review #3, by BoOkWoRm24 Days Like These

29th March 2012:
Hey so I thought that overall this chapter was really well done. You're description in the beggining was really lovely.

One of the little things that made me really happy about this was your appropriate use of semi colons. Call me crazy but when people don't use them when they need them it irks me. so good job there.

Just as one little nit pick some of your paragraphs have indents and some don't. If you are going to use indents then use them through out if your not then don't.

Finally I liked how you intergrated the different drinks into your story. For instance at the end when you said that she stopped drinking the hot chocolate and switched to fire whisky or somewhere in the beggining when you said something or other was going like Butterbeer (not a direct quote obviously) I thought these little wizardisms added the whole story Harry Potter feel and were pretty clever.

Overall this was great and I can't wait to read more.

Author's Response: Hi! Sorry for the criminally late reply, things are a little hectic.
Ah, thank you! I don't know why or how, but punctuation and grammar comes really easily to me. I bare;y have to think about it... I do make mistakes quite frequently, but i alwas spot and edit them.

Anyway.

Yes, I will change the paragraph structure thing! Thanks for the review :)


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Review #4, by Livi_777 Days of News

29th March 2012:
Oh Annon, you're delectable!
I already love Molly! So very...Molly-ish! And Melma, she's hilarious, entirely hilarious, and so very familiar, yet you manage to keep her on the right side of stereotypical. Love it!
I adore the suggestion of the romance between Abe and Bella, just don't do it, I like it like this! Of course, it's your story though, so do with it what you will!
Great ending, dun dun dun! What do the Death Eater's want with Bella, and her pub, and what about Garett Brandon? I'm intrigued, I love the blend of plot and fluff, it's so entertaining and yet so gripping! Perfect!
Love you,
Livi xx

Author's Response: LIVI! Hi! You are such a superstar/hero right now. Sorry about such a late reply (you know how busy I am with all the sailing at the moment...) Well, wow. I'm so amazed you like this chapter so much because I am planning major edits, even before I send it to my (awesome) beta. So thank you a billion-zillion times!

Love you too.
(hugs)
x


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Review #5, by Aderyn Days With Silences

20th March 2012:
Tag

Interesting chapter. I liked seeing the scene with Bella and Aberforth/Abe (love the nickname :) ). I guess I never saw them interacting when I read the books, but it makes sense, since they both live in Hogsmeade.

You have some great description in here. This in particular was really vivid: No resurrection awaited you from the ashes, as it would for the death-cheating phoenix. Melting you like wax, running your face into one big blurry mess of a picture. Burning and swirling and tearing; and you were screaming for it to stop, but underneath it all, fire is cold. Not hot. Cold and heartless. Like this room.

I love the progression of her thoughts and how it's illustrated in that passage.

Also, the ending of the chapter is well done. Great job describing Brandon in terms of what he drank.

Overall, this is a nice chapter, and a nice blend of lighter and darker parts. I wonder what those consequences Garrett Brandon (who, by the way, sounds a bit western "this here business") mentioned are...

Author's Response: Hi Aderyn!

Haha, I love Abe too. He's so...Abey. :)

I'm interested that you picked the fire description out, as I thought that was a little too dramatic to be honest, but maybe not. Thanks!!

OMG, a western Garrett Brandon...Never crossed my mind when I wrote that. I wa strying to make him sound official and stuff. Wow, that's a really interesting point.

Thank you.


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Review #6, by elladora Days Like These

20th March 2012:
Okay first thing first I love the fact it's about a minor character. I mean yeah from the title I should have noticed it is about her but I didn't. It suprises me that not more people write about her she is you could say a important character in the books and the Three broomsticks are quite populair. So kudos for originality!I thought it was wonderfull written and I think this could be so slipped in canon so great job on that too. I also liked the flow you had and the characterisation. You can go alot of ways with this story and I'm curious about what you are going to do.

Author's Response: Hi! I always thought the title was too obvious actually, but obviously not (haha get what hapened there? :P) . You're right, there aren't many Rosmerta fics. I searched her name, and only found a Rosmerta/Filch one shot and an abandoned novel, and some other stuff... Ahha, thank you! I've got lots planned, and I love this story so far.

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Review #7, by fancy Days Like These

10th March 2012:
Argh! A fic about Madam Rosmerta! Why didn't I know about this before!? I love Madam Rosmerta and well done you for thinking of writing a fic based on her.
This was a really great start, your scene descriptions are great, I loved the subtle inclusions of Sirius and James (because obviously they would be in the bar and of course Sirius would have a girl on his lap)
Also your Hagrid was really good, and I liked the inclusion of Fang as a pup which was very cute.
A great start, and I look forward to reading more!

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks SO MUCH for this review :')
I'm glad you enjoyed it! Yes, I've always loved madame Rosmerta too. Shame there aren't many stories about her!
Thanks!
lwg :)


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Review #8, by Brittanique Days Like These

4th March 2012:
Hey, Brittanique here with your requested review! I just want you to know that I take notes while reading so I may jump around a bit.

First of all, I would love to say that your descriptions are pretty amazing. I feel like I am right there, sitting at the bar watching James pester Sirius about Marlene on his lap. I can feel the love and warmth of the bar all the way from here, which is the most important part of writing; allowing the reader to join the world. And the best part of your descriptions? You don't shove them down my throat which I find a little too often. You gave me just enough to set the scene and then backed off while I filled in the rest and it was pleasant. Thanks.

Your flow is pretty awesome as well. While your transitions from dialogue to description weren't very distracting I would suggest that you work on your voices. Hagrid's voice was impeccable, and I can feel that Rosmerta is awesome but Melma was a little lost in the crowd for me. I'm not saying she was terrible, I just feel that she wasn't as shining as she could have been.

However, it is not that big of a deal, it is only the first chapter.
As I said in my previous paragraph, you got Hagrid's voice perfectly. I loved his little scene when he was telling her about Fang. The funniest thing is that I can actually see him reacting that way when he first got Fang, it was as if J.K. herself wrote that scene. I was very impressed with your Hagrid.

Rosmerta, on the other hand, was a little bit flat. She seems like a great character and I'm sure you're just warming her up but Iím not quite sure what it is. She seems like a loveable character and I cannot wait to get to know her better. As I said before, it is the first chapter and I cannot expect to know everything about everyone right away. I do like the voice you've given to her though, and I'm excited to be going on her journey because she seems like the kind who will become a favourite if given the chance.

The ending was a little teary for me. She seemed so happy and positive that I was not quite expecting it even though the first war was going on. It seemed that the 'Broomie' was a place to let all the fears go away so I assumed she had none as she seems to spend every moment in there. Well done.

-Brittanique

Author's Response: Hi! √ʬô¬•

Thanks so much for a brilliant review.

Ah, descriptions are actually quite hard for me so I'm pleased with what you said about them! This is my story where I'm focusing on quality of writing instead of just fun, hyper, cliche characters. So I'm putting loads of effort in. I think I rewrote the first chaper about 5 times, and have a beta!

:D

Oh, I'll remember to work a bit on Melma in the next chapter. I HAVE NO IDEA HOW I GOT HAGRID LIKE THAT! Honestly! Everyone's been saying he's brilliant and I'm like 'whoa!'
THANK YOU √ʬô¬•

She seemed a bit flat? Wow, I was worried she was the otehr extreme.
But thanks for your advice

LWG


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Review #9, by Livi_777 Days With Silences

3rd March 2012:
Oooh, I'm feeling the tension! Ah you going to tell us about Rosmerta's father's death? I want to know! or do we have to wait, in which case I'll sulk! Maybe cut down on the poetic stuff? I mean, I adored the bit about the fire, but maybe it was a little unnecessary? I don't know, it could have enormous significance for all I know. It's your story after all!
Garett Brandon...hmm, he sounds suspicious...you really don't like him, do you? And what's going on with Aberforth "You confuse me." what's that all about?? I'm intrigued!
Gorgeous darling! Can't wait to see you on Monday. It's only been a day but it feels like I haven't seen you in forever!

Author's Response: You're such an awesome reviewer it sound slike you just jot down everything in your head! And that makes it seem more real and genuine and such :) So thank you for this review!!
Oho! Aberforth! I love him :D
I MISS YOU TOO D: xxx


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Review #10, by Livi_777 Days Like These

3rd March 2012:
Oh Annon. On Annony-Annony-Annon! I haven't been closer to wetting myself since Roffey found out what defenestration was! I don't even know what's funny about it!
I think it was Johnny asking his Grandad why he isn't dead, I might try that on my Grandad sometime! I think he'd have a fit!!! And Melma! Oh the silliness! And Hagrid! How on earth do you get him so in character? I love it!
But so beautifully written, the way the words flowed together was so obscenely perfect!! Don't you ever doubt how good a writer you are Annon, this is serious talent!
Love you lots,
Livi x

Author's Response: Livi! AH, I love you soo much :hearty thing:
You really think it was good? That means so much to me. And I know it's just fanfiction, and I know I should probably write OF more but this makes me happy :)
Love you MORE
xx


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Review #11, by MrsBowen x Days Like These

2nd March 2012:
Omigod!!! I love it, best 1st chapter ever made!!! xxx

xD

x :0 :banana:

Author's Response: Thank you! :hugs:

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Review #12, by TheGoldenKneazle Days With Silences

29th February 2012:
Ooh this was so gorgeous! I loved all of it and it DEFINITELY lived up to expectations, don't you go putting youself down like that! (Oh dear goodness, I seem to have adopted Aberforth's style of speech...) I absolutely loved the introduction of Abe! He was such a warm character, and I could see exactly why he and and Bella got on, as well finding him so IC :D

I love how they both had nicknames for their pubs and loved both of the pubs for their differences; there was no rivalry. And he was so sweet in helping Bella put her pub back together!

I also liked the darker side to this. With more of Bella's past being revealed, and her hatred of silence so prominent here, we could appreciate even more how much the full pub suited her. It also reminded of how much I hate Ministry officials...

But I adore your descriptions and metaphors so much! As ever they really bring it all to life and put me in Bella's place. I just adore this story so much already asdfghj :3 oh and 10/10! LOVELOVELOVE

Author's Response: Lottielottielottie :3

This is such a wonderful review and I am gonna just keep reading it and reading it!

Yeah, I wasn't sure what to do with Abe. I couldn't leave him out altogether as they are the only two pubs (we know of) in Hogsmeade. So I decided to show their friendship as quite close and amiable, even if Abe doesn't know /too/ much about Bella.

Haha, I hate Ministry Officials too. Apart from Arthur Weasley! :P

*hands chocobeer* x


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Review #13, by Aphoride Days With Silences

27th February 2012:
Hey there! New chapter! *squee* Gosh, I'm so excited!

Anyway, I really liked this! You seemed so worried about it in your Author's Note at the top of it, but I don't think you need to worry at all.

The plot is moving along nicely - the Broomie (love the nicknames by the way! Broomie and Hoggie... hehe) is broken, she has to fix it, Aberforth being involved, Garrett Brandon turning up for obviously nefarious purposes... it's all getting pretty exciting ;)

Bella's character is awesome. I have to admit that occasionally I do wonder when Bellatrix Lestrange turned up in this - but I'm obsessed with her character so it's probably just me! :D She seems so real - she adores the pub and working there and her family background makes sense when you think about it - I hope we hear more about them in the future, though, coz it seems like an interesting story.

Aberforth was lovely. He's almost the Aberforth from canon (kudos to you for that because he's impossible to write) and their friendship is just so wonderful! I liked the bit where she threw snow at him, lol.

Garrett is... fascinating! He will turn up again, yes? Soon? Please? He's obviously not necessarily a particularly nice or charming person, but he's real and interesting and ooh I just want to know more. Is he the guy on the banner? No? Yes? Maybe?

Still loving it!
Aph xx

Author's Response: Aph!! Thank you so much, you are such a superstar! This poor chapter was feeling very lonely until you flew in wearing a batman cape :P

Yay, I'm happy you liked it! I was a bit worried... Broomie and Hoggie, no idea where that came from.

Ah Bellatrix Lestrange! I didn't think of that actually. The two Bella's meeting! Lol, I have to put that in :)

Garrett will definitely turn up again! ;) And no, the guy on the banner is Aberforth.

I love you!!
LWG xx


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Review #14, by Aiedail Days Like These

18th February 2012:
I love the way you've managed to capture the simple appeal of a bar in the wintertime. Especially with the war as a sort of a backdrop to the whole scene. I think that a lot of time a bar is something like a gateway; people want more than they think, but what drives them into one is a simple thing, a want for warmth and conversation, drinking, company.

I've admittedly only ever been into one pub, and it's the campus one so most of the kids were my age there besides all the faculty, but it's a really interesting thing for me to think about the kind of menagerie that inhabits the bar. I could never be a barmaid so it's not appealing to me, per se, but you've described it so well as a good thing from Rosmerta's perspective that I can't quite help but feel like it'd be a place I want to go, too.

I love how Rosmerta knows everybody and really is fond of the people there. She's got a really good sociable aptitude and she's kind without being demeaning (I think of Hagrid, whom everyone sort of writes off as a loon but Rosmerta appears to give him a chance here). It makes me understand why she's sad at the end of the day.

There are small technical details that you may want to look over again. A pint of whisky is sort of a lot as you probably take whisky slowly--I'm not quite sure because I'm underage for drinking in America and I've never actually had anything--and I would find the premise a bit more compelling if Rosmerta actually did sink down and cry every day. It's a very human thing and I think gives her an element of believability. After all, everyone I've ever met, no matter how confident or...anything, cries. Maybe not all the time, but I think people who never cry are people found in books and movies and probably not as much real life :)

I'm glad I decided to join the review tag to have come across this story--I've been so busy that I haven't really branched out with new authors but I've really enjoyed this and am interested in what you have planned for it!

Author's Response: Hi! Ah sorry for taking ages to respond! I honestly thought I'd already replied, but obviously not. I'd had everything planned out too, but then got...distracted D:

That's exactly the atmosphere I wanted, and I'm so glad you saw it the same way. A pub is such a friendly, warm place and I think they ARE enjoyable places. I've always loved them :)

Ah, that's such an interesting point. It never even crossed my mind to check up on whether you can get pints of whiskey! Thank you so much!

I'm very glad you dropped by!


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Review #15, by TenthWeasley Days Like These

16th February 2012:
I really am intrigued at the prospect of this story, because I've read a couple of Rosmerta stories before, but yours had this sort of warmth despite the obviously tense situation that exists outside its windows. I'm not quite sure how to describe it, but there was just that sort of coziness that came from the cozy atmosphere you described, as though measures of drink were going through me as warming agents anyway. And I'm a bit sleepy and I've not had coffee in days, so please excuse the rambles. :)

I've said this before in some reviews -- I don't think I've ever said it to you -- but when reading or writing stories, they adopt colors in my mind, and yours had that warm yellow-gold that I think really contributed to the style. Just reading about the everyday happenings -- the pub patrons, the conversations. Not a lot of people spend time on details like that, and I think that's why I liked this story, too.

Excellent job here -- I'm glad you've been pushing this in the review battle thread, or I might never have read it! I'll be interested to see where you go from here. :) Looking forward to popping by your page again!

Author's Response: Hello! Ah thank you so much for a wonderful review! :D
I'm so happy after reading what you've put because that was exactly the atmosphere I wanted for this! *jumps up and down.* Sometimes life is the most interesting story of all, and a pub has an awful lot of life in it, just waiting to be pinned down on paper. But then I feel that that's too plain a description for a story about a pub. I don't think you /can/ pin own the exact feeling. But I have tried!
That's an interesting way you read stories. I have that with sounds and the days of the week, but never with a story!
Thank you :)


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Review #16, by HarrietHopkirk Days Like These

13th February 2012:
Love me a Rosmerta story. Really, I see so little of her around HPFF that I leap at the chance to read something about her. I feel she got a pretty raw deal after being Imperius-ed in the Half Blood Prince, but I genuinely like her character and think she could be a good plot device - she knows everyone in Hogsmeade.

In this, I love your characterisation and description of her. I love how she knows everyone and knows what dark times lie ahead and what's coming etc and she knows it's easier when everyone is together and having a good time! I suggest having a few more thoughts and emotions (maybe she could relate to some of her customers over losing someone?) just to develop her character a little more. I liked her crying because she was lonely, but I think it came a little out of the blue (I thought the main angst in the story came from the Death Eaters) so I would either build that up before and after, or simply take it out.

I love Hagrid in this! You've got his dialogue down to a tee. Well done! And I loved your depictions of all the Marauders! ♥

Overall, I really, really like this one-shot! Congratulations!

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for an awesome review! Gald you enjoyed the story. Yeah, the main thing I have to figure out is whether it's her loneliness or the Death Eaters that are the problem...I want to kind of include them both somehow but so they correlate :)

Aw thanks


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Review #17, by Tonks1247 Days Like These

9th February 2012:
Hello! Nymphie Tonks here with your requested review :)

This was a fairly interesting start. I havenít read an over amount of stories with Rosemerta in them so I was sort of excited to get more of a taste of her character. And you really did characterize her well. I feel like I get a fairly good feel for her character and her love of having people in her pub. It really is cool. I would, though, suggest maybe more of an insight into her thoughts and her emotions? What you have is good, but I think it really help to develop her character.

With characterization, I also must say you put Hagrid in there perfectly. You write the words how Hagrid would say them, and you do so impressively well. I find him a fairly difficult character to write in that realm, so itís great you did it so nicely.

I would, flow wise, suggest you be careful with the time changes. The main one I saw was between Rosemerta talking with Emmeline and Caradoc and the 1 AM time. Maybe put in an asterisk in between those passages, just to sort of separate them? You donít have to, as thatís just my personal preference in spacing. But really, the flow was great too! I didnít see many problems at all with sentence structure. It all seemed great.

And I think you have it set up alright to keep going on with the story. You have the start of a conflict with the Death Eaters, so Iím sure that could lead up to some interesting occurrences. Also, with Rosemerta being alone. That could really lead you onto bigger and better places plot wise. I would suggest maybe bringing that up before the end of the chapter? Maybe at the beginning when Rosemerta is talking about having people in the pub?

--One other thing: Why was Rosemerta called Bella? I was thinking maybe her first name, but Iím not sure.

Otherwise, this was a really good start. I enjoyed reading it, and please donít hesitate to ask if you have any questions about anything I had to say :) Great Job!

~Grimmerz

Author's Response: Hiya! SO sorry it's taken me a while to respond ^_^. Thank you for a wonderful review!

Yeah, I'm definitely going to work on her inner thoughts in the next chapter. Actually, I worry there will be too many! :D I'm pleased you think I did a good job though.

Haha, yes Hagrid is hard! I read through loads of canon dialogue to try and get an idea of what things he'd say :)

Ok, I'll put in that asterix. you're right, it would read better. Thank you!

And that's a really good idea, I've just thought of something I can add in that will show more internal thought, and bring up the loneliness factor.

yeah, Bella is her first name. I will clarify that when I edit :D

Thanks for a brilliant review!

LWG :)


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Review #18, by TheGoldenKneazle Days Like These

5th February 2012:
Hey there! *team blue*

Ahh this was so brilliant Annon! I didn't think it was slow at all; there was enough action to make it interesting, but it wasn't too hard to keep up with. Your flow was great too, explaining everything as you went along and dabbling in conversation as Rosmerta expertly moved around her customers.

I absolutely adore how you've characterised Rosmerta! She seems so capable, and I love how much she loves The Three Broomsticks. You've written her multi-tasking and happiness so well, I can really see it all her way. The 'life-and-soul of the pub' attitude is very catching :D She's such a people's person, knowing everyone and dipping in and out of conversation, and I love how well she knows her pub.

I loved how you described everything, too; your descriptions at the beginning were particularly gorgeous! It just felt so homely, and I thought that you captured the spirit of the pub so well then!

The one thing that confused me - why does Emmeline call her Bella??

I LOVED IT SO MUCH! 10/10 Annon, it was just so gorgey, and I can't wait to see where you take it :3
~Lottie

Author's Response: Hi Lottie :3

Thanks for a supermegafoxyawesome review! It is quite a happy fappy chapter isn't it!? I'm glad it's not too overpowering/unrealistic.

Gawww thanks so much!

Oh, Bella is her first name! I should definitely make that clear... Bella Rosmerta :D

~Annon xx


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Review #19, by long_live_luna_bellatrix Days Like These

4th February 2012:
Hi there. So far, you've done a nice job with this. You've created a comfy atmosphere in the Three Broomsticks, a nice main character, and you got some familiar faces in as well. You kept people moving, conversations going, and it all added up to a good start.

I do have a few suggestions, however. Firstly, wonderful as the atmosphere of the pub is, there were a couple times when it went little over the top. I don't doubt it's a good place to be, but a pub is a pub, and whenever you have serious drinkers you have to expect some sort of disturbance. I think it would have been more believable if Rosemerta mentioned keeping an eye on the rowdiest drinkers, or making sure the students didn't try to drink anything if they were underage. Also, this line felt a bit too good to be true, to me:

"I smiled contentedly from my position behind the counter. I could tell it was going to be another deliciously rowdy night. As well as delighting my customers, the tempestuous atmosphere inside the pub also made me to feel so alive."

I get that Rosmerta likes her job. In fact, I'd be disappointed if she didn't, considering how long the Three Broomsticks has been there. But I don't know of anyone, even people who adore what they do, who doesn't get tired after a long day, or have some other worry on their minds, or something else. That line made her life sound a little too optimistic, I think.

My only other suggestion is to lead up to her conflict more. You devoted so much time to introducing the pub, that I assumed the trouble would be with Death Eaters, as Caradoc seemed to be hinting. When she began crying because she was lonely, it really came out of nowhere and threw me off. If you set the reader up for that earlier, it would be a great ending to a chapter.

Other than that, it was good. It was well written and flowed nicely, and as I've already mentioned it was engaging as you flowed from one conversation to the next, encompassing all types of people and relationships. You also included some good details, like baby Fang and the boy asking his grandfather why he wasn't dead yet. Overall, it was an enjoyable read.

Author's Response: Hello! Thanks for reviewing. I'm glad you think I'm off to a good start with this!
I agree with you about keeping an eye on the rowdier drinkers-that's a good idea. But the point of this story is sort of to show the relationship between her and the pub. The Three Broomsticks means the world to Rosmerta, and she will do anything for it. She is optimistic!

But you're 100% right about how I should have lead up to the loneliness thing, and probably shouldn't have given away anything so early on with teh Death Eater's thing.

Thanks for a great review!

LWG :)


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Review #20, by charlottetrips Days Like These

4th February 2012:
This was wonderfully written. I love how it's set like a tale that she's telling me, like we're sitting at the bar, it's a quiet night and she's just given me a drink and is talking to me because I've arrived alone and looking like I needed someone to talk to. I feel you've told this in true bartender fashion.

I welcome anyone into my pub. In here, there are no rivalries or hierarchies. No-one is turned from the doorstep. While inside these four, strong walls, friend greets foe, young meet old and sisters talk to brothers without argument or slight. I loved this description. It's the Three Broomsticks, how I saw it in the books as well as how it would be should there actually be one for people to escape to.

The ending where she feels so alone is so sad because, as the reader, I didn't see her as alone but then with her thoughts of feeling that way...I could see it.

The characterization was great. The little details of engagements and old men's birthdays were delightful to read. It was bittersweet and lovely.

Author's Response: Hello!

Wow, thank you so incredibly much for one of the best reviews I've ever had! I'm surprised how I ever managed to write this catually, because I've never been a waitress or anything to do with bartending. I could just picture it all in my head.
I'm so glad you like it! Thank you.
LWG :)


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Review #21, by AC_rules Days Like These

2nd February 2012:
Hello there LWG!

You said new story and I came a-running ;)

AND IT WAS SO GOOD. Ah, I love it when you can feel people improving the more you write and you're certainly one of them. There were so many good things about this! Original, for one, which is always fun and it was so flowy and beauts and I loved it.

Its the sort of story that makes me want to write it myself so that I can read more of it. Like, I'm sat here going 'there are so many things you could do with this' and then I /want/ to do it. SO YES! I loved this. I loved everything about this. I lovedloveloveloved it.

You're definately improving, LWG, and this was excellent :)

-AC

Author's Response: O.o You want to write it yourself? NO! You would far outshine me :P

Thank you so, so much! I'm so happy you think I'm improving. This is such a sweet review.

-LWG :)


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Review #22, by Aphoride Days Like These

1st February 2012:
Hey there! If I hadn't spotted you in the Review Battle I'd still have come here anyway - this sounded fascinating.
It is, by the way ;)
I totally support your idea to write about Rosmerta. She's kinda an important character and The Three Broomsticks is such an important place in the books and in fanfiction, so it's a brilliant idea.
You characterise her so well! We don't actually know that much about her (do we? O.o) but the way you've written her it feels like she could just slide into the HP books without any trouble at all.
Although there wasn't much plot in this one, I'm guessing Caradoc Dearborn's comment about the other pubs all being taken over by Death Eaters isn't just a passing comment? :D Don't tell me if I'm right! It's a surprise, yes?
Also, the style here is very different to 'Marlene', probably because Rosmerta isn't quite so mad :P but it's interesting. I like it - it definitely suits the sort of dreary-but-happy mood of the story.
I will definitely be back to read more.

See you soon (no doubt! :D)
Aph xx

Author's Response: Aph!! You are my current hero! *Heart thingy*

Thank you so much for another stupendously awesome review!

I'm so happy right now :D I'm glad I characterise her well. Yeah, she's very different to Marlene, and it's fun to write. I have great things planned! I think that comment might be a little too obvious... :/ I shall probably edit it out! :P

Haha, no doubt xD I will go and review something of yours now! xx


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Review #23, by MrMenLover Days Like These

1st February 2012:
I can't wait to read more...this was very interesting! I love your characters
x

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! :D

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