Reading Reviews for Letting Go
  
17 Reviews Found

Review #1, by alicia and anne An Old Face

17th March 2013:
I like seeing Tonks hanging around with Hermione and Ginny, it's nice to think that this could have happened if Tonks had lived. They could have all been friends like they are now.
I'm so glad that Tonks has found someone though, as sad as it is that Remus isn't around anymore, she deserves to be happy and I hope that Dylan brings her some happiness.
I'm happy that you said that Dylan is lovely, Tonks deserves to have someone lovely after being alone for so long.

Author's Response: I like to think so, too. I wish they could have been. Mean JKR, killing Tonks and Remus. ;(

I guess we'll wait and see. But she does quite like him. :)

Thank you so much for leaving a review!

Sam.


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Review #2, by alicia and anne Choices

17th March 2013:
That was really sad, I had goosebumps for literally the whole of the chapter, scared of when the time would come for the bad news to hit. It's so sad that Remus died (I can never get over that death, and Sirius's but we won't talk about my heartbreak over that yet) I'm glad that Tonks survived though. Although it was heartbreaking to see her anguish at the beginning and having her ask her mum if it was the right decision.
I'm so glad that Harry and Andromeda are going to be there for Tonk's and Teddy.
Off to read the next chapter.

Author's Response: I'm still not over it. It was such a hard choice, knowing who to write for this chapter. Tonks was almost going to die and Remus live. I wonder how this story would have gone if I had done that...

Thank you so much for leaving a review!

Sam.


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Review #3, by LadyMalfoy06 An Old Face

20th May 2012:
I like this story very much! Hope you update soon! :)

Author's Response: Thank you. I hope to have the next chapter up soon. :)

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Review #4, by Beeezie Choices

25th February 2012:
Hey, this is Beeezie, here with your review!

Overall, this was a good chapter; as always, your mechanics were pretty solid, and it flowed very naturally.

The major issue I saw with this chapter was that there were a fair number of points where I felt like a little more relevant description would have helped really convey the mood better. It's a very emotionally charged situation, but I didn't always feel the emotion from the characters as strongly as I would have liked.

For example, in the first paragraph: but Andromeda knew she needed to calm down - "knew" was a bit of a strange word choice to me, and I felt like "felt" (or something along those lines) would have been a bit more appropriate. More importantly, wanted you to expand on that a bit - why does she want Nymphadora to calm down? What does she think will happen if she doesn't? Instead, you just have her fussing with her hair, which ended up feeling a little out of place and awkward as a result.

Another example: Her hands covered her mouth as she let out a sob, then proceeded to run them backwards through her hair. The delivery of the second part of the sentence felt a little too casual for me, considering the gravity of what she's just been told, and I wanted something that felt more relevant to her feelings. As with before, the fact that she's running her hands through her hair tells me nothing. If you described how she did it, that might be different, but as is, it just feels a little awkward.

There were also a few points where I felt like italicising a word or two in certain places would have given the dialogue more punch. For example, in the third paragraph, italicising "Don't" or "not" might have just added a little more emotion to the dialogue. Similarly, in the sixth paragraph, italicising "husband" might have done the same thing. It's minor, but I think it could have just given some of the dialogue a little extra strength.

It's not that I thought that your descriptions were bad, because they weren't. I just felt like they sometimes lacked that little extra spark that really would have helped make the emotions jump off the page. (The computer screen? Whatever. You know what I mean.)

On the whole, I thought that your characterisation was good. However, I did notice a few things that felt a little problematic to me.

First, Andromeda felt a little flat to me. She was trying to convince Tonks to stay, but all she seemed able to come up with was that Remus wanted her to stay with Teddy ("You will stay here like Remus wants and look after your son."). We don't know much about Andromeda, but that seemed a little off to me. Is that really the best argument she can think of? "Listen to your husband"? It just didn't really make sense to me, and I feel like not finding a reason that relied more heavily on the dynamic between the mother and daughter really missed out on a great opportunity to bring some depth to their characters and to their relationship.

Second, Harry felt too comfortable with the situation for me. The Harry that we knew throughout the books was awkward whenever it came to strong emotions. Now, I think that sometimes people overstate that a bit, but here, I think you swung too far in the opposite direction. He showed a lot more sensitivity than I expected, especially when he started talking about "we." Does that make sense?

Tonks was done well - she was a little clingy, but I think that if you altered the way you're portraying Andromeda and Harry a little, she would have been fine. The major thing that leaped out at me was the importance she seemed to place on listening to Remus - I just didn't buy that Tonks would have decided anything based on what Remus told her to do, you know?

I hope I haven't come off as hypercritical - I really do like the story. The idea of moving on after the loss of a loved one - especially a spouse - is very interesting, and I have no doubt that you'll do it justice. I just think that with a little editing, this chapter could be even better at really conveying how the characters are feeling and bringing the scene to life.

Please feel free to rerequest when I clear my queue. :)

Author's Response: Hey, Beeezie. :)

Ah, description always seems to get me. LOL. For the first point, I put "knew" because she's been in a similar situation with Ted and I think she'd have worried, wanted to know everything, been frustrated for not knowing, and she would know that worrying excessively wouldn't help, so she knew Tonks had to keep calm. I don't think I described that very well, though.

I don't see you coming off a hypercritical; I love your reviews for the fact that you point these things out. It really helps me as a writer.

And editing and me are best friends when it comes to this story, I just hope everything else is helpful... New characters; it's a scary thing. :P But I hope I can make this chapter and Andromeda and Harry better... *fingers crossed*

Thank you!

Sam.


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Review #5, by xxJazminexx An Old Face

19th February 2012:
Amazing! I really like Dylan, he seems cool and Tonks deserves to go on a date! This story is going to get even better I know it. This chapter wasnt as angsty, which was nice and I loved the beginning scene with Hermione and Ginny and their girly chit chat. Excited for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Dylan is cool, I think, and Tonks really does. :)

Thank you, I hope you'll like the next chapter, too.

Sam.


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Review #6, by xxJazminexx Choices

19th February 2012:
:( This was so sad I feeling like crying (Though I am not xD) Remus/Tonks were always an amazing pairing and to see them being split apart is more sad than them both dying.
The chapter was beautiful, a great introduction and I loved reading it. You show the emotion well and you can easily feel sympathy for the characters. I don't know why but I loved how you portrayed Adromeda, it just seemed so, her.
Off to read the next chapter!

Author's Response: They were so amazing and I blame my muse for making me kill Remus. I really do... :)

Thank you, I'm glad you liked it and Andromeda; I've never written her before so it's nice to here. :)

Sam.


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Review #7, by charlottetrips An Old Face

17th February 2012:
I'm now here for Chapter 2. Thank you for skipping some very sad years, though I'm sure you'll touch on it in the coming chapters.

I like the way you describe the little actions like fiddling with the ring around her neck (though I know it's significant) and the fact that Tonks blinks or this on Hermione - pushing her dark, though [] slightly tamer - though I feel you should put [only] there as it would seem to read more as a complete thought.

The way the girls react to this guy is so girly :P It's awesome. Tall, Dark and Delicious
Also their way of talking and the joking and comments they make as well as the understanding they have of Tonks and her loss of Remus speaks of long-standing friendship. You write that well here.

So [your] married?" - you're

I like Dylan. He's gorgeous and sensitive! What a winning combo! :P

Your story is coming along very nicely!

Author's Response: I'll fix those, thanks for pointing them out to me. And thank you for reviewing this.

Everyone will love Dylan! At least, I hope so. :D

Sam.


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Review #8, by accioHPFF Choices

15th February 2012:
Wow, this was really great! :) Although I'm not surprised, I've read some of your stories before. :)

I loved how you wrote about Tonk's choice, should she stay with Teddy, or go to help Remus in the Battle. I felt like I was also having to decide what I'd do: go and fight, or stay with my child. I was willing for her not to leave the house. :P

Andromeda's great- although I love stories about all three of the Black sisters. I think that, although Andromeda's always in the shadows in the HP books, we all build up this image of her in our minds, and the Andromeda you created is almost exactly like I'd imagine her to be. :)

I don't know what to say, this was really great. If you ever want a review on later chapters... *points to review thread* :)

Author's Response: Wow. Thanks for that! I'm so glad you took the time to review this, it means a lot.

Sam.


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Review #9, by charlottetrips Choices

8th February 2012:
OK wow. I did not mean to read something that would make me cry first thing in the morning. I thought (hoped) you would start some years after the war had ended so that there was some distance between Remus' death and the moving on part, but no, no you had to start here!

This moment was beautifully written. Tonks' conflict is clearly shown in how she moves, her words and even in her hair. She's strong and a fighter, yet a wife and a mother and all of that is seen within the Tonks you have written.

She wrapped her arms around Tonks, rubbing her back. She needed Andromeda just as much as Teddy needed her and Andromeda was here for her. "Always remember that you've made the right choice." - This is what I like about the Andromeda you have written about.

When Harry gives Tonks the news, you can already see that he's grown up, that he's a man and not a boy. I don't know if you meant to do that, but you see from the moment he appears on their doorstep that he is not the Boy-Who-Lived but the Man-Who-Survived.

This was a beautiful beginning.

Author's Response: I'm sorry it made you cry. No, this is more like a prologue, so just after the war. Chapter two is, like, nine years later. :)

Wow. Considering I've never written Tonks before, this is a very huge compliment for me! :D

Andromeda is cool. :P It's exactly how I see her. :)

I did not see Harry that way until I read this.

Thank you so much!

Sam.


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Review #10, by LilyFire An Old Face

7th February 2012:
Wait, so is Teddy 10 now? She's been living with her mom for 10 years? *slightly confused* Other than that, I love this story. It's brilliant, and I *almost* wish I had thought of it :) I can't wait for chapter 3.
~Lily

Author's Response: Teddy is nine; it's been, like, ten years since she started seeing Remus, I was counting before Ted was born, too. Tonks stayed at home to be with her mum; Andi would still have family and would't be alone after Ted died, she'd be there to look after Teddy while Tonks was at work. It was a sad, emotional time and neither wanted to leave, but their Black pride wouldn't let them say it... :P

If you have any questons, feel free to ask. :)

Thanks for the review. :)

Sam.


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Review #11, by Keira7794 Choices

7th February 2012:
You chose Tonks. :(

But then again - I would say the same if you had chose Remus instead! :P You portrayed Tonks really well - she was on her feet and constantly thinking, just like what I imagine the auror training would have made a habit.

You showed the caring 'mother' side of her really well and Harry's guilt. I really liked it :D

Only thing I saw (I'm rubbish with grammar) is in the last paragraph, you opened with a " when it wasn't necessary. Other then that it was a great start :D

Well done :) Keira :D

Author's Response: I chose Tonks. And it was the hardest choice ever. :(

I'd feel the same had I chosen Remus, too. :D

Thank you for pointing that out, I fixed it. And thanks for reviewing. :)

Sam.


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Review #12, by justonemorefic Choices

7th February 2012:
In the books, I always thought it was especially tragic for both of them to go. Teddy without parents, and Andromeda without her daughter or son-in-law (and without her husband as well). Tonks was someone I really wanted to see grow old, too (she'd make a pretty awesome aunt). So I saw this and I thought, ooh!

I definitely think it could've been as simple as that - Tonks stayed behind to make sure her son was safe. Part of her must have known (especially after being an Auror and in the order) that if both of them went into war, there was a likely chance that both could die, leaving Teddy parentless. It's sort of that unspoken part of Remus asking her to stay behind. I like how Tonks kept thinking and doubting about her choices; there really isn't a right answer in war.

The last scene with Harry :( But I like the spark of hope you've given. Teddy still has a family even if Remus isn't there anymore.

Author's Response: I was in tears when I read that they were both gone. So, she had to stay. :D

I think's she'd known that, too. Yeah, I agree; Teddy does still have a family, even if his dad is gone. That's what the story will be about. :D

Thanks for reviewing.

Sam.


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Review #13, by ginerva_molly_weasley Choices

6th February 2012:
TAG!

I was part of a challenge similar to this and had to decide Remus survived so it was interesting to see it done the other way round.

It was interesting to see how you'd portrayed Tonks's anguish when Remus was at the battle. The bit about her losing control of her abilities was a nice touch. I can just imagine her making that decision to stay with him and in a way I was willing her to because we all knew how it was going to end. The bit about her having to choose between Remus and her son really tugged at the heartstrings but we all knew that she would be making the right decision which was nice!

I love her being calm when Harry walks in because that is so realistic. When you're weary with worry and tiredness you start to block everything out and become almost limp and zombie like which I think you showed really well. And the way she reacted when she heard the news of Remus :'(

I like how you've made Harry comfort her because that's how I always imagined it to be, him comforting her and promising to be there for her.

I really liked this!

Author's Response: It was so hard sticking to my decision, I wanted Remus to stay. But I had to do what my muse said. :P

Thank you so much! I've never written anything like this before, so this is veery encouraging.

Sam.


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Review #14, by keeperoliver An Old Face

4th February 2012:
Another good chapter. You could have warned us of the time jump, but it worked out OK. Dylan seems like he will be a good character. Why is it that Teddy does not want a man in their life? I realize he has Harry there, but surely he wants a father? Looking forward to more. Keeperoliver.

Author's Response: Sorry about that. Dylan will be a very good character. You'll find out why Teddy doesn't want a father, or any man besides Harry, in his life. I'd tell you, but it's part of the story.

Thank you. :)


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Review #15, by Werewolfs Rule Choices

22nd January 2012:
This story reminds me of the song 'Teddy Boy' by the Beatles. You should check it out, it could help with the story.
Good start.
-WR

Author's Response: Thank you. I will. :)

Sam.


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Review #16, by keeperoliver Choices

22nd January 2012:
Hello Sam. It made sense the way you wrote it, and the way it worked out. Remus would have gone to try and protect his family, and Tonks remain behind to care for their son, Excellent choice. Well written, and explained. Have you decided yet for your choice of a love interest for tonks? Keeperoliver.

Author's Response: Hey. Thank you. It seemed to make the most sense in my head as to why one would live (though it should have been both... :P)

Tonks' love interest is called Dylan Roberts *refrains from giving a full character bio* and you will meet him in the next chapter, which is being written now. :)

Sam.


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Review #17, by Aurorofthelight Choices

21st January 2012:
Brilliant story idea! I always enjoy a fresh idea and plotline! You have a winner in the making here so keep at it! Looking forward to future chapters! :)

Author's Response: Thank you!

Sam.


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