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68 Reviews Found

Review #1, by cypress Chapter 17

16th October 2013:
And now, since this is the last chapter you have written, I'll try and leave as comprehensive a final review as possible. :)

First - I love this. I know that all the Harry/Ginny shippers are probably raising their arms and crying out in anger at that, but it's true. I felt that way at the beginning...that it was all very rushed for them. And though that didn't mean it was a bad idea for the story, I was waiting for things to fall apart. I'm glad that they did, because I really felt that was inevitable, and probably needed to happen to keep their relationship realistic, so brava for taking that route.

Also, regarding your pacing, at first things were going kind of slowly, but I think - the more I think about it - you've done a pretty good job of mimicking the pacing of the actual books. I'm hoping that things will balance out, since everything's sped up and the leap from Christmas to February was a large one (though not uncalled for or anything). I imagine that as you get more into the death eater plot (which I'm super excited forby the way), things will slow slightly, in that we'll get more detail about what happens over a shorter period of time. I think, though, that your pacing is good right now.

Other than that - I can't think of any other constructive comments. Basically anything I thought should be dealt with in one fashion or another has sorted itself out. I think you've got a great story and I've been pointing out my favorite parts along the way as you know. If you have specific questions, let me know and I can private message you, but otherwise, I say just keep writing!

And overall, great job. :) Thanks for this story, and I hope my reviews have been helpful. Sorry again for taking so long to get to this, but some things just can't be helped, as I'm sure you know.

Take care, and I'll try and come back to read the rest of this story when I have some more time. :)

Cheers, and all my best,
cypress

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Review #2, by cypress Chapter 14

16th October 2013:
Ooh! I love the cliff-hanger. Things are definitely getting interesting. :D I'm looking forward to finding out what's up with the cursed pocket watch. Not much else to say, though. Just wanted to express my excitement!

cypress.

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Review #3, by cypress Chapter 12

16th October 2013:
"The baby replied with a soft, sad cry, as if calling out for someone who he didn’t quite remember, but still missed." This just - killed me. So sad. :( I think it's kind of cool that you showed Harry attempting parsletongue again. I imagine he would be a bit sad to lose that, though I don't think I ever realized it until you wrote this.

cypress.

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Review #4, by cypress Chapter 11

16th October 2013:
You do a great job with your imagery throughout the story. This part was particularly good: "She blinked a few times, trying to focus her bleary eyes on the strip of light that dipped the wooden floor in early-morning gold. She stretched her back, hearing a slight click, and put her feet down on the floor. She grimaced at the cold touch of the wood, and hurried to find her slippers, tugging a jumper on over her pyjamas." And the next paragraph: "The stairs groaned at taking her weight, cutting through the silence of the sleeping house."

I love Teddy poking Harry's face. That was very amusing. Also, I like how much of Molly you're rolling into Ginny. That's how I imagine her as well - very much like a younger version of her mother, and very headstrong. And for a boy who grew up without a warm, doting (and slightly overbearing) mother, I'm sure she's exactly what Harry wants in a woman. ;)

cypress.

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Review #5, by cypress Chapter 8

16th October 2013:
Ugh! So much emotion. That scene on the platform just - tugged at my heart. It was so perfect - perfectly paced, perfectly described - my favorite part of this whole story so far, for sure.

And I had completely forgotten about Hermione's parents! The only question I have is just technical - why not a portkey?

Anyway, great job so far. :)

cypress.

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Review #6, by cypress Chapter 4

16th October 2013:
The first half of this chapter is absolutely amazing - I really like Harry's voice. I think it's spot on (though that may just be my opinion). I was honestly a little surprised that he and Ginny decided so quickly to move in together - and to broach the subject to her parents. But that doesn't mean it wasn't the right move. It just surprised me, that's all, that Harry wasn't nervous and Ginny hadn't maybe snuck the idea into conversation with her mother earlier or that Molly and Arthur didn't put up much of a fight at all.

Last comment on this chapter, I thought the "just... witches' stuff" was clever. I was very amused by that. xD

cypress.

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Review #7, by cypress Chapter 3

16th October 2013:
Hello! Me again. I loved the scene last chapter where Hermione and Ron got together. I wouldn't have minded a bit of dialogue to learn exactly how Ron asked her to make the promise to always be honest.

And this part - Hermione drunk - now this is really funny. I love that she interrupted him and you showed me so much with her dialogue here. Well done!

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Review #8, by cypress Chapter 1

16th October 2013:
Hi! cypress here with your (long overdue) reviews. Since I often find it easier to review right as I read, rather than gathering up all my comments into two long reviews, I'm just going to drop you reviews along the way as I read this story.

A few comments on this chapter: First, I love your opening paragraph. Great description. I think the only question I had this whole chapter was how far the clean-up squad actually got since two days isn't very long at all. I like the interaction between Harry and Ginny. I could really feel their care for one another. And I think that JK didn't give us enough to really get to know Ginny, but I'm sure she's quite spectacular for Harry to have fallen in love with her.

My two favorite bits were both Molly-centric actually. Her "on three" - that's such a Weasley thing to say, and sort of made me sad and happy all at once. Also, her words to Harry: “Harry, you are a very good man. Now get to bed.” I imagined him smiling a little before you even told me he did. I think the only thing that was missing from that were her hands. I imagine her holding his face and turning his head towards her to make sure he listens, or patting his leg or his arm. She was always very tactile and that was one of the things that Harry craved from her, I imagine. So I'm curious what her hands were doing. Anyway, I'll continue reading and drop reviews along the way as I notice or think of things to say. :) I'll be slow - offline life is quite demanding right now and will continue to be - but I won't leave you hanging forever. I promise!

Until then,

cypress.

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Review #9, by harrysmyhero Chapter 17

5th September 2013:
I am enjoying your story. Yes they are 'mature beyond their years'but it is understandable they want to avoid the monotony. Or at least Ginny does. Te her their relationship is stuck in a rut. I hope you continue with it and I am looking forward to another chapter. Will Harry be satisfied to wait, or is he broken to by her rejection? Will it prevent him from asking if they did get back together?

Good luck.

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Review #10, by LilyEPotter Chapter 2

3rd September 2013:
Back for another review!

Poor Ron and Hermione, such miscommunication and taking several steps backwards instead of one step forward.

Ginny does seem to have the ability to get through to Harry.

There was one thing I noticed in the phrase "In my mind I you never". Should it read "In my mind you never"?

This was a good chapter!

Good job!

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Review #11, by LilyEPotter Chapter 1

3rd September 2013:
What a sad beginning to the story. But how touching that Harry is showing such support to Ginny as they go through the memorial and then Fred's funeral back at the Burrow.

Good job!

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Review #12, by Athene Goodstrength Chapter 2

18th July 2013:
Oh, oh... I never use this word, but, "feels". So many feels! This chapter is a little emotional roller coaster... You managed to make this sense of sadness and loss pervade the whole thing, perhaps more with your descriptions of the destruction of the castle, Harry's first real home after the death of his patents, than with the memories of people having died.

But despite the sadness, there are really heart-warming moments, such as Molly trying to rally her troops, Harry humming to himself, Ginny seeking him out and telling him what I've always personally believed (they never really broke up!)... And the conversation between Harry and Ron. That was probably my favourite bit. I feel like you know their voices really well, and did a great job of portraying thei relationship in a way that feels true to them.

So I was feeling quite cheered, and hopeful... And then my OTP start acting up! Sigh! But you handled their awkward conversation really well, and again, it doesn't seem out of character at all. I liked the image of Ron kicking the stones - there's something so forlorn and endearingly childish about it.

Loved this chapter, can't wait to read on.

Author's Response: Thank you thank you! I wanted to concentrate on the relationships in this chapter, so I'm glad you liked it :)
Sorry about Ron and Hermione - I had to do it! The good bits aren't nearly as good if you don't have some bad bits in between ;)
Thanks for reading and reviewing- you make me happy!


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Review #13, by Athene Goodstrength Chapter 1

18th July 2013:
Where do I even begin with this? This opening chapter brought me to tears. I have often wondered about the days immediately following the battle, and have seen a few fics which try to describe them, but I don't think any of them have come up with something quite so perfect and as moving as this.

You use imagery and description really well, and I could envisage the scene as I was reading, which is always - to me- vital in enjoying a story (no matter how sad it may be!). I also really love HPFF that makes natural, unforced use of magic, and you accomplish that beautifully here. The scattering of flowers from wands, the white balls of light, and oh my goodness - the patronuses at Fred's grave. That's probably one of the most moving, beautiful and fitting ideas or images I've ever come across on this site. The idea that the family use their very personal guardians to see Fred to his rest is just so. Ack, I'm lost for words. Tender, and thoughtful, and really, should be canon.

My only CC is that this chapter seems to move quite quickly, and I wonder if you could have spent some more time at each of the scenes - maybe use some dialogue. That said, I kind of like the silent, reflective nature of this chapter...

This was lovely. Well done :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing! I really love it when people write such long messages- I find them really helpful :)
I'm glad you liked the way I treated Fred's death and the use of magic in the chapter, and your comment about thickening out the texture is really helpful, and one I've had before on these first few chapters. I've been meaning to go back through these early chapters and add some more dialogue in since they're a bit sparse at the moment- I just need to find the time.
Thank you so much for your review!


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Review #14, by A concerned fan Chapter 17

23rd June 2013:
Hi, so this was my favorite fan fiction but you havent writtenin over a month and it makes me sad. We all want to know what's going to happen next. And by the way, the reason you have less reviews than others is because you show up less on the news feed if you update less often than others. PLEASEEE WRITE AGAIN. (And i hope you're ok and there isn't a sad reason for why you can't write. In which case, i send my regards.)

Author's Response: Hi!
I'm super sorry I haven't updated in a while - I've got the next chapter started, but I haven't had a lot of time to update recently because I've had a load of exams which I've only just finished. I will update as soon as the next chapter is finished, but I've also been dedicating a lot of my writing time to a new project that I will hopefully be releasing this summer on the website.
I'm really glad that you like the story enough to be so concerned, and don't worry! The next chapter will be written, it just might take a little time.
Thank you for leaving me this message - I'll try and get the next chapter up as soon as possible :)


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Review #15, by Raq Chapter 17

22nd May 2013:
I really like how you made Ginny not completely O.K with moving so fast like other stories. Can't wait for the next chapter

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Review #16, by FriendofMolly Chapter 17

19th May 2013:
UnknownHorcrux,
I have speculated before of Ginny's attitude toward Harry, Teddy, and marriage. Now I'm afraid that it's way more than that. Did something unknown happened to Ginny at Hogwarts with the Carrows ? Maybe she feels like if she gets engaged that she'll become a mother instantly and miss out on being young? I do hope you have the next chapter getting ready for post.
FoM
PS Ron and Hermione on the other hand are moving smoothly (what a surprise)! But nice to see.

Author's Response: We'll find out more about Ginny's feelings, but really I just think it's that she's scared. I mean, she's only seventeen. Living with someone is a big step for someone that age, and then they have a part time baby and jobs..
The next chapter will be out soon, and as for Ron and Hermione, they're still happy for now in their new-relationship bubble.
Thank you so much for all these fantastic reviews. They really have been so helpful for me :)


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Review #17, by FriendofMolly Chapter 16

18th May 2013:
UnknownHorcrux,
Well at least they had Christmas. Though I loved Harry's gift to Teddy, I would have thought a stuffed wolf would have been given too. Ron and Hermione are really unbelievable. How amazing they are together. I am wondering though what Harry and Ginny gave each other. I suppose Ginny's reaction to Molly admiring Harry's fathering skills, perhaps scared her because she isn't ready to be a Mum. Could be she isn't sure just what Harry is planning for the future. I must continue.
FoM

Author's Response: Thank you! Yes, Ron and Hermione are working well together at the moment - they're still in happy new couple mode. Don't worry: there will be drama to come ;)


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Review #18, by FriendofMolly Chapter 15

18th May 2013:
UnknownHorcrux,
It just gets darker and darker. So the Lestrange degenerates are active and around. I have a feeling that the watch would have led Dung to give it to Harry had he had it longer. Now I suspect you're going to wreck Harry's holiday. But they must be found and sent to Azkaban. This chapter was fantastic!
FoM
PS I love your magical imagination. Marauder 5 might have been your inspiration, but it came from your talents.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Although, as you will later read, Harry was not the intended target. And don't worry: here at the auror office we're working hard to find those brothers!

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Review #19, by FriendofMolly Chapter 14

18th May 2013:
UnknownHorcrux,
At last! I was waiting for the dark to show it's presence. The funny thing is I don't think Dung had a clue. How perfect and needed was Harry's gift. I do think though, Bill would have known anyway. At first I was afraid the Rita had snuck into the party. You are going to have to find something for Molly to do. She should teach household spells at Hogwarts.
FoM

Author's Response: Yes, poor Dung. He really can't get it right, can he? I do think though that even Bill would have had trouble identifying the curse, as I talk about later on. You saw the effect it had on people - I doubt he would have been able to look away! And yes, I do need to occupy Molly somehow. That's a good idea for her... I'll think about that! ;)

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Review #20, by FriendofMolly Chapter 13

18th May 2013:
UnknownHorcrux,
A wonderful start for Bills birthday. Harry's gift sounds very, very, intriguing. It's good to see Hagrid again and to hear about Norberta. I bet she would still recognized her 'Mummy'. On to the next.
FoM

Author's Response: Thank you!

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Review #21, by FriendofMolly Chapter 12

18th May 2013:
UnknownHorcrux,
That was awesome. The exchange between Teddy and the Wolf was totally unexpected. It's a good thing Teddy can only change his hair color. My heart did sigh a bit. I hope Remus was looking on. I think what Ginny felt was the loss of Tonks. That Dora should have been the one with Teddy. Harry's lack of parcel tongue was not a huge surprise, as most authors write the same. I do like it when he can. He doesn't have to use it for bad. I must go on.
FoM

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked Teddy's reaction to the wolf. I wanted to make it clear from early on that although he's found a sort-of family, he will still miss his real parents for the rest of his life.
Thank you for all your reviews - I really appreciate them :)


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Review #22, by FriendofMolly Chapter 11

18th May 2013:
UnknownHorcrux,
I do like peaceful, normal and easy going chapters. But I am wary of what may come. I loved Harry's line about Kreacher. He may not bite, but he will let Miss Hermione know how unhappy he is. I think for Kreacher being appreciated by Harry and friends, being complimented about his house and cooking skills, not to mention how happy they are with him. Teddy is adorable. At 6 months he might be a little young to crawl, but we are talking about Magicals. They definitely do things different than Muggles. I must go on.
FoM

Author's Response: Haha, I'm glad you liked the bit about Kreacher. I like to have him included :)
I'm happy you liked seeing Teddy - unfortunately I'm no expert on optimal crawling ages, but the websites I looked at when writing this chapter seemed to point me there. Who knows, though? It changes a lot with regular muggle babies, so it really could be any age with a wizard. Also, I thought he'd be more fun to write if he were a little more than an adorable blob :)


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Review #23, by FriendofMolly Chapter 10

18th May 2013:
UnknownHorcrux,
Wonderful and sweet chapter. I do hope at some point you'll have more dialogue. You're setting up a more peaceful time. There will be some down and dangerous times ahead. I'm looking forward to what you have in mind.
FoM

Author's Response: Thank you! Yes, I know that these chapters are a little thin on the dialogue front. the next chapters are more wordy, but I do plan to edit this soon :)

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Review #24, by FriendofMolly Chapter 9

18th May 2013:
UnknownHorcrux,
You wrote this chapter almost perfectly. I say almost as I don't understand why they don't recognize their surroundings. Yes, Hermione restored their memories of who they are, but how does that wipe out where they are? This is the first time I've seen that happen. Ron has finally reached in and become the man he is destined to be. I see him so much like Arthur. I must go on.
FoM

Author's Response: I always just assumed that when a memory charm is lifted, the memories of your old life flood back while the 'fake' life you've been living fades away. I suppose it could be done either way - Rowling never gave us any examples of this happening, so I just wrote what I always thought would happen. I'm glad you're enjoying the story!

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Review #25, by Jessica Chapter 17

18th May 2013:
OMG your story is amazing, please continue it its very addictive and sounds just like it should be the way it is..

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