I'm back for chapter four!
I really loved the opening of this chapter, when Helga is comforting Mary. She seems so comfortable, and is so good with children, and with making them feel relaxed around her. I smiled through that whole conversation, just because it was so sweet! Salazar did put a bit of a damper on it, though, because he had to bring blood purity up. I felt so bad for Helga and Mary then! Mary because she's only one of four Muggle-born students, and because of the way Salazar speaks of her, even though she's so young. And, of course, I wish Helga didn't feel like she has to keep her heritage a secret!
And then they went back to the shape-shifter, which is a boggart, right? I didn't really make that connection until this chapter, because of the fear thing, and the fact that it's in a dark, small space. I thought both Helga and Salazar's fears were very interesting, and I love how much we can learn about their characters just from that. I'm curious about Salazar and the fire, though! Hopefully you go more into that soon!
I agree with what Godric was saying at the end of the chapter. I think they should just tell Salazar and Rowena about their parents being Muggles! They can't move past it if they never find out!
This was a wonderful chapter, and I can't wait to read more! 10/10
Cassie :) Report Review
I really loved this chapter! Helga's character just grows on me more and more with every chapter I read! I love the way that you've written her, because she has the qualities that are associated with Hufflepuff house, but there's also a sassy, witty side of her, too! She and Salazar make quite the pair, and something you do really well with their conversations is show how similar they really are. At first glance, they seem like total opposites, but they have more in common than someone might think!
The shapeshifter also has me intrigued! I want to know what it really is, and why it scares Salazar so much! I have a feeling that they have no idea what they're getting into trying to go after if again!
And I love that you're introducing the Hogwarts we know from JKR through Rowena's planning! You've done such a good job weaving in little details like that, and I think we're getting a wonderful sense of who the four founders are as people.
This is a fantastic story, and I will definitely be reading more and adding it to my favorites! 10/10
Cassie :)Author's Response: Hey thanks! I like this chapter a lot too...it was fun to bring Rowena and Elaine into the mix. And I'm glad you're liking the Salazar/Helga moments so far! They are more compatible than they seem at first, and I'm so glad that's coming through for you.
The shapeshifter will be explained in more detail in coming chapters. It definitely becomes a challenge! And I'm glad you liked the mention of the blueprints. I'm working on my descriptive skills, and knowing when to add little things like that. Writing this story has been such a learning experience :)
Thank you so much, again! I'm so honored that you're enjoying the story so far!
--Maggie Report Review
I'm back for chapter two! I absolutely love Helga's character! I love that she has the qualities people associate with Hufflepuff house, but also has this sassy, witty side that you might not expect. I'm curious about the others though, especially Rowena, so hopefully I'll learn more about them as I keep reading!
The conversation between Helga and Salazar was really well written! It felt really natural, even if Helga felt a bit awkward or embarrassed at times, and thought it flowed really well. I liked seeing a warmer side of Salazar, as well! And, of course, the cliffhanger was excellent, and I'll definitely be moving on to the next chapter! 10/10
Cassie :)Author's Response: Hi Cassie! I'm finally getting around to responding to these awesome reviews :)
She is kind of sassy, isn't she? Haha I love that about her too. This is the first time she and Salazar start getting real with each other. It's a bit of a bumpy road, as you're already noticing :) And I'll be bringing some of the other characters into the fold more soon, so hopefully you enjoy that when it comes.
Thanks girl! Moving on to respond to your next review now :)
--Maggie Report Review
Maggie! Yay I got a shout out and Down Comes the Night won a Kecker! It deserves the win :D Iíve missed this story a lot and, of course, Helgazar! I still think itís one of the coolest ship names ever so I was so happy I could squeal over it again :D
I really loved Helgaís disbelief at the beginning of this story. It was so adorable and really realistic. I think thatís the reason why I like Helgazar so much because of Helgaís disbelief that theyíre actually together whereas Salazar appears to take it for granted and doesnít show the same level of it. It kind of shows the impending doom of the two of them.
I really loved how much Helga cares for her students. I thought it was really nice that she and Rowena were trying to make the girls independent people. I can imagine that Salazar wonít be happy with this happening, as he probably has old-fashioned views about women so I wonder how heís going to react to this. Then the way she was sticking up for Mary was really nice too, and the way she believed that this might be a chance for Salazar to change his ideas.
Aw they kissed! Ok I know I shouldnít be awing over this and shipping this ship considering what Salazar has done, but I canít stop myself for some reason. I guess Iím kind of like Helga and Iím under Salazarís spell and heís keeping me entrances and forgetting that heís actually killed someone. Then there was this line ĎSo we sought each other out at odd hours, whenever we could come across a suitable place to be alone.í Which showed how romantic their little forays were.
Iím glad that Elaineís still got the pregnant glow about her and I canít wait for the baby to be born! I suppose that even though Salazar is kind of evil he did make Helga go and apologise to Godric and it was nice to her being more forward for once. Iím glad that theyíre friends again though as they have a really nice friendship.
This line cracked me up though ĎďMe and Salazar?Ē I asked, feigning ignorance. Godric just rolled his eyes.í I think it was the eye rolling from Godric which really pulled it off as itís so unlike Helga to be like this. I hope we get to see Rowenaís reaction to all of this in the next chapter :D
Another great chapter, Maggie, and I canít wait for the next :D
-KianaAuthor's Response: Kiana! I'm so psyched that you came by to review this chapter! And of course you get a shoutout, you deserve it! :D
Haha, she definitely needs a little time to get used to it. She's spent so much time believing it could never happen between them, so it's hard for her to wrap her head around the fact that they're together! And Helga just isn't as composed as Salazar under any circumstances, so I can see why it would seem like he's not as invested in their relationship.
One of the things I was hoping to show in this chapter was how Helga and Salazar can help each other. Her influence goes a long way in helping him practice tolerance. She wants to "fix" him, and at the moment he wants to be fixed. And in return, Salazar helps her face her fear about having an honest conversation with Godric. So in a lot of ways they are great for each other, and I wanted that to come across :)
I'm so glad you liked the fluffy parts! I loved writing them :) And believe me, I know what you mean about feeling conflicted over this ship. I love them too, but they've got some tough things to overcome. "Impending doom" is the perfect way to phrase it, haha. But who knows what the future might hold?
You know, I was actually considering ending this story before the baby comes. But how can I not show the arrival of the Gryffindor baby? I think Godric would be very unhappy with me if I did that, lol. And speaking of Godric, I was so relieved to get him and Helga on good terms again! It feels wrong to have them on the outs, and it was fun to write them being silly together as always.
Thank you so much for the wonderful review! You are awesome for doing this, and it absolutely made my day!
--Maggie Report Review
I've seen this story mentioned all over the forums, especially in the Hufflepuff common room, so I thought I would check it out. I'm so glad that I did! I absolutely love it so far! I'm writing a founders era story myself, so I really enjoyed seeing the way you characterized the four founders, and how it's different from the way I'm writing them. I love the voice you've given Helga, and the relationships that the characters have. This is such a great story, and I can't wait to read more! 10/10
Cassie :)Author's Response: Hi Cassie, it's so great to hear from you! Wow, you've seen this mentioned on the forums? That's the first time anyone has said that to me, haha. That's so exciting! I'm so glad you stopped by :)
I love seeing different takes on the founders too, so I'm glad you're enjoying mine so far. Helga is so much fun to write; I've really enjoyed getting inside her read. And this review makes me really want to get into The Fourth Daughter and check out your characterization of them too! I've started it, and I added it to my favorites right away so I could come back to it later :)
Thanks again for the sweet review, Cassie! I really appreciate you taking the time to come by and review my story :D
--Maggie Report Review
Hey there! I was so happy to see you updated xD And OMG I got a mention in your author's note? Thanks honey! I do love your story so much =)
This chapter has me smiling so big. Helga's happiness is infectious! I loved the way things played out. It was great how Salazar is becoming more tolerant towards muggles now, agreeing to teach Mary, and even greeting Elaine! I just want to punch the air with a whoop xD
I loved all the romance between Salazar and Helga, you remained true to their characters and yet unfolded different sides to them which I enjoyed. The part about Godric and Helga was awesome and Godric's comment made me giggle.
Your writing style and descriptions were perfect as always too. Some dialogues were simply superb, like in the interaction between Salazar/Helga in the kitchen. The 'stealing moments' in 'dark corners' had me grinning and I could just imagine the thing in my head - Salazar and Helga make my heart beat fast, haha. I do love them so much, they make a perfect couple.
I am so excited for this story, it's really going great! Please keep writing! Superb job as always xD
P.S. I am the first to review this chapter, woohoo!Author's Response: Yay, my first chapter 8 reviewer! Of course you get a shout out, AD...I'm just incredibly grateful for all the time you put into reviewing :)
Aww, I'm glad you liked the fluffy romance in this chapter! I wanted readers to get a chance to see how Helga and Salazar would work as a couple, and I just think they would be really precious together. And they also have important things to learn from each other. Basically I wanted to show them at their best moments :)
Godric is kind of a man-child sometimes, haha. He loves to tease Helga, but what are big brothers for? It was great to get a chance to write their friendship again.
I definitely plan in continuing this soon--hopefully my updates will get faster now that it's summer. I'm just over the moon about this review, AD! Thank you for taking the time...I love getting random reviews and they're so rare for me :) So glad you still like Helgazar, and I'll definitely let you know when their story continues :)
--Maggie Report Review
Hey there - so glad to see you re-request for this! I really am enjoying this story! Expect a favourite winging its way towards you soon enough ;)
As I said before, I love your characters. I think they're all so brilliant. They're all definitely flawed, with their own qualities and faults, but they feel so real whenever I read them and it's so nice :) Helga is so great - I love how you mentioned her intention to teach any student, no matter what qualities they possessed, and transferred that to a call for unity in Hogwarts and no houses. It seems perfectly logical, you know, and yet, like her, I can understand why the other three don't want to abolish the houses. It's not that they're too stupid to see it, they just see things differently.
Elaine and Rowena are wonderful, wonderful characters too. I loved the discussion about motherhood they had - when Rowena was smiling wistfully at Gareth - and the references to Helga and Rowena feeling like old maids and unloved at nineteen and twenty-one. Again, a really nice historical reference slipped in so well ;) Rowena was so good, though - it reminded me of Helena and Rowena's desperation to bring her daughter home before she died, and Helga's own want of a child (Salazar's child!) was a nice characterisation as well. Plus, it did make me curious about what happens vis-a-vis the continuation of Slytherin and Hufflepuffs' lines, both of which we know survive down to Tom Riddle's era ;) little Helgazar babies... even Salazar, I think, would smile at that.
This chapter is, I think, noticeably slower than the previous one, but I wouldn't say it drags, as such. It's more based on character development than plot, which is why it feels slower, but important stuff still happens in it - like the meeting, particularly - and Helga's failed decision to tell Salazar. I wouldn't worry about it, tbh. It's not slow enough that you'd need to cut anything out, I don't think, and even if you did, I'm not totally sure what you would cut out O.o
Plot-wise, I loved how you included the meeting where Godric effectively puts forward the first mention of a need for the Sorting Hat. It's obviously something that happens before Salazar leaves, but I've never seen it included in anywhere before, so it was so nice to see! And Helga's failed confession will, I think, be important later on... perhaps... :P Also, Salazar defending her from Godric, who can be so patronising at times, was kinda sweet :)
On length... I don't think you have a problem with it. Personally, I always aim for 3-4k words in a chapter, as that seems to me to be a good length. As long as you don't go overboard and start writing 7k chapters or more, in which case for the sake of our beloved validators, I'd have to object ;)
So yeah, I love this. Helga is great, Salazar is just lovely, I feel oddly sorry for Rowena, Elaine is kinda terrifying at times, a par of me wants to slap Godric, and Gareth is the cutest thing to exist. And a favourite is coming.
Please re-request! :D
Aph xxAuthor's Response: Hey Aph, thank you so much for coming by! I'm glad to see you're still enjoying the story, and I really appreciate your thoughtful reviews :)
I wanted to show some of the conflict the founders might have had as they discussed the future of the school. Sure they're all friends, but like you said, they see things differently. Helga is more concerned with the students emotional well being than their intellectual accomplishments, and that attitude isn't really shared by the other three. I wanted to show that neither opinion is necessarily right or wrong, and I hope I pulled it off.
That scene with the girls and Gareth is one of my favorite ones in the story. I liked sort of hinting at Rowena's hidden vulnerable side, and Elaine was fun to bring back into the fold. It kind of came as a surprise to some people that they're so young, but I did want to follow the norms of the time.
Helgazar babies! Haha, that made me laugh. I mean, who knows what could happen down the road? ;)
I'm glad you thought the length was okay, and that the pace wasn't annoyingly slow. And that last paragraph is the perfect sum-up of what I hoped people would think of these characters! Thank you again for such an amazing review, and the favorite. You made my day! I'll definitely re-request :D
--Maggie Report Review
Hey there! Popping by with your requested review! :) It definitely was no trouble at all - I love reading Founders story so I was so excited to see you requesting.
First off, you asked about characterisation. Helga, as I'm sure you must know by now, is fabulous. I love how she's so... simple, but complex, if that makes sense. She looks at things so simply most of the time, but sometimes complicates things unnecessarily. She sticks to her guns completely, she doesn't back down. Definitely reminiscent of the badger ;) Rowena and Godric are so great as well - they're almost exactly how I imagined them: Rowena almost delicate and fragile, despite being so clever and beautiful, and Godric a bit like an over-grown child at times, lol.
Salazar... honestly, I think he's a great character. I like how you'd hinted at secrets in his past, at something happening to do with muggles, to give him this hatred of them, and how he has these beliefs about muggleborn students and things. I also love how you made him common but also wanting to be noble; he's like the exact opposite of Helga. He's really complex, but sometimes he can be very simple-minded in his thoughts and ideas. The one thing I would say is perhaps not to make him too emotionless. You've handled it pretty well so far - with the incident with the Boggart and his reaction to Godric's news - but maybe just keep it up? Maybe there's some form of entertainment which genuinely amuses him? Jokes which make him smile/laugh? Weather he likes/scenery he likes? After all, no one can be emotionless the whole time. But, other than that, he's wonderful! I'm so curious as to see what he's hiding from the others and what happens when he - inevitably - finds out Helga and Godric.
Your description is lovely, really really lovely, and you use it so well - only adding it in when necessary. I particularly love the way you described the Boggart and how you describe the Founders. It really paints the picture in my head and makes me associate certain things with them, you know? The only thing I would say is maybe add in a bit more description here and there of their surroundings - like the buildings, etc. Is it light/dark? Is it cold/warm? What colour are the flames of the torches? What colour dress is Helga wearing? Just little things like that will really bring it to life, I think ;)
Plot... plot is fantastic. I love it to pieces. I love how you're keeping it trimmed to the founders themselves, not including much about the students and so we get greater insight into them as people; I love the relationships you're building between all of them. And the secrets! Gah, there seem to be so many secrets in this, lol. But it's great - it adds a lovely touch of mystery to this.
So yeah, this was really, really great. Flawless grammar/spelling and flow... plot is amazing... characterisation is brilliant (Salazar kinda reminds me of Mr Darcy/Mr Rochester, you know)... feel free to re-request any time! :)
Aph xxAuthor's Response: Hi Aph! I'm so sorry it's taken me forever to respond, but here I am! Thank you so much for this fantastic review :)
I am absolutely loving the process of writing from Helga's point of view. I've just grown to love her so much over the course of this story, and I love seeing that readers connect with her too. And you're spot on about Rowena and Godric too. I'm hoping to show a more mature side of Godric in upcoming chapters, so hopefully you enjoy that.
Salazar has challenged me every step of the way, because I'm trying not to make him a clich√É¬©. But I'm glad you're enjoying him so far :) His roots as a peasant definitely have fueled his ambition for greater things in life. And Muggles do feature prominently in his past, in a way that will be revealed soon. I love the idea of bringing out little quirks about him that would add interest...thanks for the suggestion! I'll definitely keep it in mind.
I'm so glad you like the style of my writing for this era...I really think I've found my niche as a Founders writer. I am looking for ways to expand on the description though, so I really appreciate the ideas!
This my first real attempt at a chaptered story, so I was nervous about how well the plot would hold people's interest. I'm so happy you're liking it! It's been fun to get into the mystery of it all :)
Thank you so, so much! I so appreciate your feedback, and it will help me a lot as I continue writing. This was such a lovely review...it made my day!
--Maggie Report Review
I had major doubts about the idea of fan fiction but this is surprisingly well done and has an interesting plot with a whole new way to look at Hufflepuffs.Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so glad you stopped by, and that you liked the story. I'm really sorry it's taken me this long to respond, but I appreciate this review so much! Report Review
The second Slytherin said that he wants Hufflepuff to go first, I realized that the shape-shifter is most likely a boggart. I'll have to keep reading to see if I am correct!
This story is great so far! You portray each person's personality so well, along with their mystery.
I'm glad you're doing it from Hufflepuff's point of view as I'm a Hufflepuff myself. :) Go badgers!
The part in a previous chapter where Hufflepuff turns Slytherin made me so pleased. Hufflepuffs (including myself) are constantly being underestimated.
Keep writing!Author's Response: Hi! I am SO sorry it's taken me this long to respond...life has been incredibly crazy lately! But I'm so glad you decided to review, and that you're enjoying this so far!
Good guess on the boggart thing, but you'll have to read on to find out for sure :) And I'm glad you're enjoying getting to know everyone. Sometimes the personalities are hard for me to capture, but it's awesome that they're speaking to you.
Hey, I'm a Puff too! So I definitely get what you mean. I wanted to write a Founders story that lets Helga take center stage :)
Thanks again! I really appreciate your time and feedback :)
--Maggie Report Review
I'm sorry that I can't leave as detailed a review as I usually do, but my brain is mush. I will try my best though!
Ooh, I wonder if the room is cursed to display the person's worst fear? Kind of like a boggart? I wonder what the fire has to do with Salazar, and his past.
I think the thing I like most about your story is your characterization. You seem to know your characters inside and out, particularly Helga, Rowena and Elaine. I was really impressed by how much I felt like I knew Elaine after only a few paragraphs. She seems very much the quintessential wife-on-the-outside; she doesn't know the others and feels out of place. But she's so much deeper than that.
And I wonder why Rowena's expression changed when she saw Godric with his family. Is there some interest there? I really enjoyed getting a better glimpse into her character. Is it canon that she was the one to design Hogwarts? Either way, it was a nice touch. It makes me really happy, for some reason, that the swinging staircases have always been there. I really like getting to read all of the wonderful things about Hogwarts!
Again, I'm so sorry about this review xD I promise to leave a better one next go-around. Thanks for requesting!Author's Response: Hey Sarah, thanks so much! Don't worry about it, I appreciate any feedback you have time to give me.
You're on the right track about the secret of the room. All will be revealed soon :) And I'm so glad you are enjoying the characters! I actually really do feel like I know them well, and I love hearing that it comes across. Elaine is one that I hope to bring out more as I continue to write this; I think she's got an interesting point of view that wouldn't normally be seen at Hogwarts.
Rowena's layers do get peeled back somewhat as the story goes on, so I hope you continue to enjoy getting to know her. I've really loved writing her friendship with Helga in this :) I'm not sure if Rowena's designing the school is canon or not (there aren't a whole lot of canon details out there), but for some reason I like the idea of her doing it. I'm happy you're enjoying the glimpses of Hogwarts in its very first years. They've been so much fun to write!
Thanks again for this review! I love hearing from you, and I'll definitely be re-requesting as soon as I can!
--Maggie Report Review
Hello! I am here with your (very late) requested review.
I love Helga's determination to be equals with the other founders in terms of her education. Studying in the library all hours of the night... very Hufflepuff indeed! :3 I love this line, "For reasons I could not fathom..." so fluffy. But still written in the time-appropriate dialogue. You are making me a serious Helga/Salazar shipper. (Helgazar? haha)
I really like your characterization of Rowena as well; you tell us so much about her in so few words. She rarely smiles, and speaks her mind. She and Salazar seem to have more in common in that way, but there's just something that clicks between your Helga and he. When they were trying to get information out of Evan, and Helga stepped in, it really showed their differences and her willingness to look past his brash behaviour.
This line is so brilliant, and ties in this story with the entire HP series and all that it entails: Sometimes I thought Hogwarts castle held even more secrets than books. So good, so good.
GAH!!! When he said that he's been watching her too, and that he noticed she doesn't like low ceilings. I am shipping them so hard right now. And the ending, oh my gosh! Cliffhanger! Please feel free to re-request from me, I don't want to forget to keep up with this story. :D
Another job very well done!Author's Response: Hi Sarah! I am so sorry for the appalling lateness of this response. RL got away from me for a minute there, but I'm back now! Thank you so much for the review!
One of my goals for this story is to show some of the "signature" traits represented by the houses in the Founders themselves. It ties the history into the present, in a way. Glad you enjoying seeing that hardworking side come out in Helga!
Haha, I've had fun writing Founders fluff. I didn't want it to be too in-your-face just yet, but this chapter definitely has the beginnings of chemistry between Helga and Salazar. They have very different values, but Helga is drawn to him regardless. And yes, Helgazar is the perfect name for this ship! I love it because it sounds like a dinosaur to me :)
If I had to choose a favorite character aside from Helgazar in this story, it would probably be Rowena. She has this very composed air about her, but in later chapters I get to explore what's going on beneath that. I hope you enjoy that when you get to it, because I'm definitely going to re-request :)
I love that line! I'm so happy you noticed it. And I guess it does hold true in the series as well, I never noticed that before. That's a great thought!
Thanks so much for coming by! This review made my day when I read it. I'll be looking for an open spot to re-request :)
--Maggie Report Review
Oh My Merlin, Finally!! I was totally cheering (in my mind) while reading the ending scene!! Yay for Helga/Salazar romance =)
I think this chapter was the best so far, it was written so really well. I loved Salazar and Helga's interactions in both the segments. I absolutely loved the paragraphs from "He took a deep breath and then reached swiftly..." until the end of that segment, I think it was a very powerful and significant moment in Helga and Salazar's life, and you portrayed it wonderfully.
The second segment had my heart aching for poor Salazar - oh to endure so much at such a young age. It really broke my heart to read what happened to his parents, but yeah it totally justifies his hatred towards Muggles. And he even killed the guy, ghosh the man is so broken =( I do hope Helga is able to "save" him. *sigh*
I loved the palpable emotion and romance between them later in the segment though, I think you did complete justice to them. I loved their exchange of dialogues during that whole scene, and was pleased by the way it ended. It was all very surreal in a way and I could see it happening in front of my eyes. I especially loved the ending sentence, I totally went "aww" at that.
I loved Helgazar all in all, and look forward to lots more of it in the future ;)
P.S. Please do update soon!Author's Response: AD. I am so ashamed at how long it's taken me to respond to this review. Life has just been sweeping me away, and I'm so sorry! But I was SO excited for you to get to this chapter. It has the Helgazar I've been waiting to write for so long, and I was dying to hear what you'd think!
This chapter is a huge turning point for the story, and I wanted it to be powerful and high-drama. I'm so glad you felt that! And yes, Salazar has had a very rough time of it, and those events have affected him all his life. He's deeply troubled and conflicted, but Helga will definitely do all she can for him.
Ahh, I'm so happy you thought I did these characters justice! I wanted their developing romance to be believable every step of the way, and I wondered if this was too soon for such a step. But I'm so glad you liked the ending, and just the whole chapter itself. That's so exciting!
Thank you so much for all your wonderful reviews! They have meant so much to me :) I'll definitely let you know when I update again. I'm working on it, promise!
--Maggie Report Review
Ah, I seem to liking this story more and more as it progresses (if that is possible).
I really liked the opening scene between Elaine, Rowena, and Helga. I love to read (and write) budding friendships between characters, so it was a great read and made me smile. It makes me feel sad to see Rowena wanting a life like Elaine's too though, and I wonder if you'll explore how she came to giving birth to her daughter, and all, in your story.
The discussion between the four founders and Elaine had be on edge as I kept wondering if Helga would speak her truth now, but (thankfully) she didn't yet. I liked how she spoke up regarding her views on the "sorting" matter. You have made her this "mother hen" soft person, but also a strong character, which is awesome!
Salazar's views on blood scare me though, and I wonder what has caused his hatred for muggles so much, so I hope you delve into that aspect soon!
I loved the parting scene between Salazar and Helga, quite sweet. Poor Helga though, she is totally smitten and it seems it will just be getting harder for her to tell the truth now.
Anyway, I am totally looking forward to the next chapter, and hoping for some awesome romance between Helga/Salazar soon! Great going!
(AditiDraco95)Author's Response: Hi again AD! I'm finally back to finish responding to all your awesome reviews! They mean so much to me :)
The opening scene of this chapter is one of my favorite ones in the whole story so far. I loved writing the girl talk, and I loved exploring the experience medieval-era women might have had at Hogwarts. These three are so fun to write together! And as for Rowena, Down Comes the Night isn't really her story, but I hope to write more about her in other pieces.
Helga is willing to speak her mind when she feels strongly about something, but she definitely doesn't look foward to it. That's why the discussion was such an ordeal for her. But I'm glad you saw the strength she has; that makes me so happy!
Yep, Helga's completely into him now! Haha I'm really excited that you're ready for more romance at this point, because it's coming! Speaking of which, I'm off to respond to your review on the next chapter. Thank you again!
--Maggie Report Review
"And he was quite handsome, in his way. I supposed that must play some part in it." - I loved this line. Doesn't handsomeness always play a part? ;) Haha.
I loved the initial few paragraphs where you explained how Salazar and Helga's relationship had evolved. It was important filler information, but I was pleased to see that you didnt make it sound boring at all, as sometimes happens with authors when writing filler stuff.
I love the interactions between the four founders, and enjoyed their meeting in the library.
And oh dear, Salazar's reaction to Godric's news was so sad. It has really made me scared of what will happen when he learns of Helga's secret, it might destroy their growing relationship =(
I loved the scene between Helga and Salazar though, you wrote it beautifully. You have a knack of writing their "chemistry" in a realistic way which is great!
I also really liked the scene between Rowena and Helga. It is great that you are exploring the relationships of other characters too. I like their bonding =)
All in all, this was another well-written chapter. Great work as always!
(AditiDraco95)Author's Response: Hi AD! I'm sorry I'm being so slow to get to all your reviews; I've been sick this weel :/ But looking through all your wonderful reviews is great medicine!
Haha, that line. I could just see Helga thinking something like that, and it's so true :) I'm glad you liked those first few paragraphs. At first I was really worried they would drag or be too filler-ish, but I think they turned out okay. I wanted to show how Helga and Salazar have learned to tolerate and even appreciate each other (at least a little bit), while still keeping things moving along.
I think this is the first scene I wrote with all four of the founders together. I really want to do another one, because I think I've barely scratched the surface of what their dynamic would be like. I've found that it's hard for me to handle more than two characters at a time; someone always gets pushed to the background. But I'm working on it!
Salazar's got some issues to work out, that much is pretty certain at this point. And it's hard for him because he really does value Godric's friendship, but he has trouble getting past the hate. I'm glad you're still liking the dynamic between him and Helga, though :)
Every time I write Rowena, I find myself wanting to explore her character more and more. It's great to hear that you're liking her too!
Thanks again! I promise I'll keep working on these, and hopefully I'll get to your last two reviews soon :)
--Maggie Report Review
Hello again! I am sad that this story didn't make it to the final round since its simply so awesome! Nevertheless, I give it the first prize for best written ship =)
Oh, and before I move on to the review, I want to say that the actor you chose for Godric is quite handsome xD
I liked this chapter a lot (I seemed to be saying this for all the chapters, but oh well). I loved the starting where Helga handles Mary, it really shows her motherly sweet side. That scene was really lovely. I also like how she mentions hard-work to be the key to success (sort of) since hard-work is one of the main traits of the Hufflepuff house in the books so its awesome how you utilised that as a trait in Helga.
The scene of Helga being "caged" was powerfully written and really struck a chord with me since you expressed her terror in such a powerful manner. The way Salazar sort of calmed her was really a nice touch, and I loved how she was able to feel almost secure because of him. Later, when he gave her his sort-of-apology, it was the best scene so far, as it showed such a human side of Salazar, and I really liked it. I hope to see this side of him more often - Helga is certainly bringing out the tenderness in him!
The ending scene made me sad of course, poor Helga. She has developed feelings for Salazar, and now Godric wants to tell their secret of them being Muggleborn, and if that happens Salazar might hate them. You wrote that scene nicely though, I love the way you write your dialogues.
All in all, another brilliant chapter. I am really enjoying the story and will come back tomorrow for more =)
(AditiDraco95)Author's Response: Hi again AD! Aww, I appreciate that so much! I was so thrilled to be nominated for the ship-off, especially with all the wonderful writers I was up against :)
And Chris Hemsworth! When I thought of who I'd want to play Godric, there was literally no other actor who came to mind.
I wanted to show Helga in a teacher's role at least a little of the time in this story, and I wanted her mother-hen side to really come out. I think she would take every student under her wing, but she'd have a soft spot for the Muggle-borns.
I'm glad you liked the cage scene! This was my first time writing fear, really (this story contains a lot of "firsts" for me), and I hoped it would be relatable. And the aftermath was fun to write because it was the first time Helga and Salazar really made a connection. And you're right; they definitely bring out different sides to each other :)
Helga and Godric both have some big decisions to make pretty soon, and sometimes they aren't quite on the same page. I'm so happy you like the dialogue, though, since that's something I've been working hard at.
Thank you so much for your thoughts, and for all your time. I'll try to respond to the rest of your reviews today (sorry I'm being so slow). But I so appreciate you coming by, once again! :)
--Maggie Report Review
Hello again! (Happy valentines review-a-thon)!
Ah things keep getting more and more interesting. I wonder why Salazar is afraid of fire though, I cant wait to see that mystery unfold. His reaction was so strong to it, it broke my heart. I loved how you wrote it all.
I love how you write Rowena, she seems exactly like I'd imagine her to be, so kudos for that! I liked the interaction between her and Helga, and it was great to see some depth in their friendship.
Elaine and Helga's argument was also well-shaped, and I loved how Helga (sort of) defended Salazar. It was really sweet and showed a great deal of her feelings.
I loved the ending, and I enjoyed the Salazar/Helga interaction before that. Their relationship seems to be growing, and I love it.
All in all, another great chapter. I love the direction in which the story is going!
(AditiDraco95)Author's Response: Hey again! I'm running out of ways to say thank you for all your awesome reviews :)
This is one of my favorite chapters in the story for a lot of the reasons you described. I loved writing Rowena, and starting to develop a real friendship between her and Helga. I've already decided that when I finish this story, I'm writing a sequel from her point of view :) And Elaine is another favorite character of mine; she has some more time in the spotlight later on.
Helga is definitely intrigued by Salazar at this point, and she just tends to have a lot of sympathy for people. Both of those factors play a part in her "defense" of Salazar to Elaine. I can't wait for you to see their relationship develop in later chapters!
Thanks again AD! :) Report Review
Hello! Once again, Happy valentines review-a-thon, and also, good luck for the ship-off!
I must say I am enjoying this story a lot! I love the way you portray Helga, its awesome! I really liked that we got to see so much of Salazar in this chapter, and immensely enjoyed the interactions between him and Helga. You did a great job writing it all! I suspect that the "creature" is a boggart, and I am very curious to see how Helga and Salazar now deal with the situation. Ooh, and I also liked the little hint you provided of Rowena working on the tiara (as I think that is what she is working on).
I am loving this story so far, especially since your grammar, pace, flow, and characterisation seems to be so perfect, and I cant wait to read further. This is going in a great direction!
(AditiDraco95)Author's Response: Hi again AD! Thanks again for all your lovely reviews :)
Ahh, I'm so glad you're liking it so far! Helga is such fun to write and I just love her, but Salazar has been much more challenging, especially near the beginning of the story. Glad you're liking him! You're so right about the creature (which I can tell you because I know you've already read on), and it will play a part in future chapters for sure. And as for what Rowena's working on, you've got a really, REALLY good guess ;)
Can I say thank you again? Haha, you're going to get a lot of thanks from me :) I so appreciate all the time you've put into reviewing this story, and I am so happy you're enjoying it.
--Maggie Report Review
Oh!! Oh goodness. This chapter had so much awesome in it.
I love that you started off right where chapter 6 left us. It wasn't an easy meeting. I really liked Helga's guilt at not addressing what she wished to as well as her desire to cast blame to Godric (although even while she's blaming someone else wrongfully she still knows she is. Love it).
You continue to give her character a really intense kind of innocence. Even if she doesn't want to think herself that way because she's deceived Salazar, or I suppose just not told him the truth, she still really is. And now with this revelation. Oh gosh. It may have been very good that Salazar told her without him knowing that she's a muggle born or it may have been very bad.
This gives them the chance to build such a strong connection. A chance to really need each other, and maybe that's better to have so when he does find out (and we all know he will) he has a harder time walking away from her.
But it could just as easily go the other way. You've shown us the depths of Salazar's hate for people that commit a wrong against him. Will he consider Helga not telling him a wrong? Will he be even more infuriated now that he's opened himself up and confided in her?
Let's back up to the memory itself. You, m'dear, did such an incredible job showing us what happened while still having Salazar tell the tale. We got his raw emotions from the cruelty that he witnessed, and god that was terrible but amazing. You've given him an honest reason to feel how he does. But he still can't see that every muggle isn't the village that jeered as his family was murdered. But at the same time, if you had a child that was kidnapped or something by a plumber, I'm sure you'd never want another plumber in the house. Yes that's a weak example, but I mean that I get it. I get why he feels like that because it wasn't just one cruel man, the man that lit fire, it was all of them. They all watched two lives be tortured out of this world and did nothing. In fact, they welcomed it. How is a young child ever supposed to let something like that go??
This was a truly an incredible and powerful chapter, darling. Please let me know when the next is up ♥Author's Response: Jami, hello! Thank you so much for coming! I've been needing feedback on this chapter, and I always love your reviews :)
One great thing about Helga is that she's very self-aware. When she does something she percieves as wrong, she realizes it. Problem is, that awareness doesn't always factor into the choices she makes. And you're right--she definitely doesn't see herself as innocently as other people might.
I just love all the thoughts you're giving me about Salazar's story, and predictions about what will happen. It will definitely solidify their bond, I can tell you that much. But as for the rest, I'm going to have to make you wait for the next few chapters to find out :)
I am so glad that you connected with the memory, because I worked really hard to get the tone right. This is the most intense subject matter I've ever dealt with in writing, and I really wanted to do it well. My goal was to get really emotional with it while also showing the readers how those events have shaped Salazar's personality and views. Hopefully I accomplished some of that. Salazar doesn't know how to make peace with the events of his past, and he's never really been in a place where he wants to. But Helga's going to try her hardest to help him, that's for sure.
Thank you so much for stopping by! I'm so happy you're continuing to enjoy the story, and I'll let you know when I get ch. 8 finished :)
--Maggie Report Review
Happy Valentines Day review-a-thon!
Oh! I loved this! I am surprised that I didn't come across this before. I now know why this was nominated in the ultimate ship-off!
I think you have written this brilliantly, Helga is just amazing! I love your portrayal of her. She's very much the Hufflepuff we've heard of, yet she is so much more inside, and it's great that you've explored it. I enjoyed reading your backstories of Godric and Helga, of them being of muggle parentage, and the way they grew up together practising their own magic and such. It all was thought out very well. I also liked the way you described Salazar, he seemed exactly like I'd imagine him to be. The last interaction between him and Helga was amusing and I enjoyed reading it a lot, and the ending left me with a smile.
I think this is a brilliant story, and so I am adding it to my favourites to make way through all the chapters, and keep following this amazing piece of writing.
Your grammar, pace, flow, and descriptions (and over all narrative I should say) is impeccable and its refreshing to read such a neat and perfect piece of writing. Your characterisations seem to be great and I cant wait to see more of Helga and Salazar. I would love to see more into Godric and Rowena too though, especially since they all seem to be such good friends.
(AditiDraco95)Author's Response: Hi AD! Wow, your reviews have my mind! I'm so happy you made the time to stop by and do this for me :)
Ahh I'm so glad you like Helga! I love hearing that people enjoy her; I wanted to give her some life, and also give her a chance to stand out. It seems like the other Founders get the most attention (much like their houses), and I wanted Helga to get some time in the spotlight :) I loved exploring her background, and starting to explore her relationship with Godric and with Salazar.
I will focus on Helga and Salazar the most, as you might imagine, but in the next few chapters I try to give readers a chance to get to know each of the other characters. I hope you enjoy that, and I'm so, SO happy you've read on!
Thank you so much for your wonderful reviews! I'm off to start responding to the rest of them now, and I can't wait!
--Maggie Report Review
Hello! I am here with your review, after all of that confusion. I don't usually read Founders fics, so I'm excited about this one--especially the 'ship! Hufflepuff is so overlooked and neglected, even a bit in canon, and then in fanon it's just become kind of a joke to be a Hufflepuff. But we need to stay strong! :D
Anyway, here is the review proper. Like I said, I haven't read more than one-shots with Founders era, so my canon is a little rusty.
Your introduction is beautiful. I feel like you have engrossed yourself, and therefore the reader, in the time period you're describing. The fact that the Hufflepuff clan were travelers is brilliant. Did you make her aunt a kitchen maid on purpose? It makes me thing of the Hufflepuff common room being near the kitchens at Hogwarts; really ties it all in together.
I love the line "simple and full of light," but am distracted that she goes from saying this to saying her childhood was marred because she carried a secret. I guess it's just the phrasing used, because it's entirely possible to have a simple childhood with the downside of having to keep your magic a secret. But it seems to go from saying that everything was pretty much perfect and her not having any secrets to hide, which is wonderful, to having a secret. A very minor detail, but it does seem to conflict a bit :)
The relationship between Godric and Helga is really endearing. I wish his wife, Elaine, had a fun and esoteric name! xD But it's nice that she accepts him for who he is, and very rare in those times.
Interesting change to go from Helga and Godric having to hide who they are from their families, to having to hide their families from Salazar. And it's brilliant that her role as a traveler comes back into play when she is able to point them to an abandoned castle to use as Hogwarts!
I'm interested how they contacted their first round of students. If it was so difficult to come out as having magical powers back then, how did they find them? How did these very first people to ever hear of a magical school react?
Also, I would love to see some dialogue here. Your storytelling abilities are wonderful, and for the amount of back story here, you really do retain the reader's attention. But it would be nice to be shown, and not told, certain aspects of the story in real-time.
The line "in hindsight, I suppose that was my first mistake" is brilliant. Are we going to have an explanation as to why exactly Salazar is so prejudiced? Especially since the general worldview back then was that he was the one "in the wrong" for being a Wizard, rather than exhibiting a trait of magical nobility?
The exchange in the kitchen was easily my favorite part of this chapter. Helga isn't like your typical female character, playing tricks on boys out of spite--she only did it because she was challenged, and up until then kept her mouth shut about her abilities. She and Salazar are really compatible. They're equally ambitious and passionate, the only difference I see being that she's much more private about her opinions.
I think this is a really great start--I'm glad I got to read it!Author's Response: Hey! I'm so sorry it's taken me this long to respond, but I so appreciate you swapping with me! This review is wonderful, and you've given me some awesome feedback.
I love getting review from people who don't read many Founders fics. As a Founders enthusiast, I'm always hoping for more readers to enjoy this awesome genre with me :) And I wanted to write about Helga not only because she's the founder of our awesome house, but because of exactly what you said: Puffs are overlooked so much, and I wanted to give Helga a chance to stand out.
Yep, I made her aunt a kitchen maid to give Helga a foundation for her expertise with food. It seemed like a good way to work that in :) And I'm glad to hear that the writing feels true to the time period, because that's been really important to me while writing this story.
I reread the chapter just now, and I see what you mean about that conflict being a little wierd. That's something I'll definitely work on when I edit. And you know, I never really fleshed out their methods of contacting students. But now that you ask, that could be something worth figuring out :)
I've actually been playing around with some dialogue to add here. I'm so glad you enjoyed reading about the backstory, but I definitely agree with you: there needs to be something to break up the monotony of that first section. Maybe sometime I'll actually get around to editing :)
Salazar's motives for his prejudice will be explained later, yes. He's a very proud person, and that plays into it. But I hope to give a more complex portrayal of him than the generally terrible person we tend to think of him as. And that kitchen scene! That was such fun to write :) I loved giving Helga a chance to stand up to Salazar and give us Puffs a good name, haha. She and Salazar have different world views, but they're more compatible than they seem at first glance, like you said.
Thanks so much for your feedback! This review was so awesome (and by the way, so is KC&CO. I think I'm already hooked!) I'm so glad we swapped!
Hey Maggie, it's me with your review!
I'm coming to really like Salazar, even if he is a Slytherin! He seems really caring in a discreet sort of way towards Helga, and he seems to be oberserving everything which is happening, which is really good, as it shows his cunniness and how he's analysing the situation.
I thought the lead up to Salazar's history was great, as it showed how him and Helga have become quite good friends, and then you feel their friendship is breaking up, but this secret will make them even closer.
I thought it was great that you tied in Salazar's parents death, with them burning at the stake as that is genuinely what happened in those time, so good historical accuracy! I can know see where his fear of fire comes from, and I can really understand why he would hate it so much.
I'm glad that you made Salazar's hate of muggles have a reason behind it, and that it wasn't just an irrational hate. If it was irrational it would have been the easier and more predictable choice, so I'm glad you went for the more rational and unexpected choice.
It's almost worrying how similar Salazar and Voldemort are, both comitting their first muder at 16, both believe purebloods are the best, both having a severe hate for muggles. Also their inability to feel regret and guilt. I really like how you've drawn comparisons between the two.
Woo, Helgazar - that's such a cool name! I loved that scene, I just dread that Helga's come along too late to save Salazar, as he seems to deep in his hate for muggles for it to change! I loved the kiss scene I thought it was a great lead up, and it seemed like the only approriate thing to do after Salazar told her that. In response to your question over whether it was too soon, I don't think it was as it seemed the most natural progression.
In the first paragraph there's this line ' I struggled to make peace with what had just occurred', I think it would sound better, if you said sense instead of peace :) I thought it flowed really well so no need to worry about that.
Overall I thought it was a great chapter, as it had so much revelation and drama! I'm really looking forward to the next chapter to see how Helgazar continues! Kiana :)Author's Response: Hi Kiana! You're the first reviewer on this chapter, and I appreciate your feedback so much!
As I've been writing Salazar, I've realized I have more than one goal for his character. I want to portray him as this really straight-laced guy who is kind of unpleasant at first, and when he does reveal a sense of humor, it's always at someone else's expense. But under that, he really has a lot of good qualities and is capable of compassion and love, and I try to show that too. He's not an evil person, but he's deeply troubled, which affects how he acts. He's also very observant, like you noticed, and his observations about Helga have led him to trust and care about her. I think he's one of the more complex characters I've written, and I'm so happy you're warming up to him! The fear of fire comes from that deep-rooted memory of watching it kill his parents, and I'm glad you thought that seemed believable. I definitely wanted to have his hate come from somewhere, and not just be irrational, like you said. I hope readers can sympathize with him and understand him, even if they might not want to meet him in real life.
Okay. Sorry for the Salazar character sketch there, I just really like talking about him :) And I really appreciate all your great thoughts on him. But anyway, on to the rest!
Kind of like your comparison with the Riddles in the last chapter, I never even thought to compare Salazar and Voldemort. But now that you mention it, they really are so similar! Haha it just goes to show how history repeats itself, even in fiction.
I am SO glad you liked that scene!! It's definitely my favorite so far, because I love romance. I worried a little bit that there wasn't enough buildup, but I'm happy it worked for you. I just felt like it was the perfect time for it to happen! And Helga will definitely do all she can for Salazar, but you'll just have to read on to see the results.
Thanks for that wording suggestion! I'm making notes of all the suggestions I've gotten, so I can go back and edit at some point :) And thank you so, so much for your wonderful reviews! It just means so much to me that you enjoyed the story, and that you took the time to review every chapter for me. I'm working on chapter 8 now, and I'll definitely be hitting up your review thread when it's up! Thank you again, Kiana!
(Oh, and I like the name Helgazar too. It kind of sounds like a dinosaur, right? :P)
--Maggie Report Review
Hey Maggie! As I love this story, I decided to review chapter 6 as well!
I thought the opening scene was great, as I'm really glad that Elaine and Rowena are getting closer, as I feel at times there's a more masculine feel to the story, so perhaps with all 3 of them being friends now, it will create a more feminine feel to it :)
I also liked that scene because it showed how there are many different forms to intelligence. Though Elaine maybe considered inferior by Salazar for not being of magical blood, she is probably has a lot more practical and useful knowledge than she does. Even the hard working and practical Helga recoginises that is something she lacks in, as she's more of an academic. It showed you that neither forms of intelligence should be rated better than the other.
I thought it was funny, how Rowena wishes she had a family and children, yet once she has her daughter (Helena), they fall out when Rowena is dying over her diadem. So it just goes to show that even though you may crave and wish for something it doesn't always work out like you expect it to.
I guess you could draw comparisons of Helga and Salazar to Merope and Tom Riddle senior. Both were desperatly in love with someone who despised their blood/magical status, so they disguised it so they could get together. As Merope and Tom's ended tragically when she revealed her true birth, I'm guessing Helga and Salazar's isn't going to go that well either, I'm wondering whether this will be the thing which fuelled his departure.
You can tell where the fatal flaw of Hogwarts is but what Helga said, saying she wanted to create a legacy of unity not division, which is exactly what it does with the house system. And whichever house you land in, you get prejudiced against immediatly and have to face that for the rest of your life.
I thought the scene at the end was wonderful, with Salazar sticking up for Helga, you can see the beginnings of their romance now! I really loved this chapter, and you know you can always re-request whenever you want as I love this story! Kiana :)Author's Response: Hey again!
That scene with the women is one of my favorites in the entire story so far. I like the dynamic they have together, and I like seeing Elaine happy :) And I love what you say about different types of intelligence. I hadn't thought of it that way, but it's a great thing to take away from that scene. Salazar (and even Godric) could probably learn from that comment :)
Rowena has a story of her own to tell, definitely, and it's got some sadness in it. I'm trying to show little shades of it throughout Helga and Salazar's story, but maybe I'll end up writing something from Rowena's point of view. That could be a good next project :)
Wow, I never thought of that comparison with the Riddles, but it makes perfect sense! I love hearing about things that readers see in this story that never occured to me. But you would be right in predicting trouble in Helgazar's future. I hope you'll keep reading to see how things unfold.
Thanks for the wonderful reviews! I'm off to re-request for the last chapter now. I really appreciate all the time you've put into this :)
--Maggie Report Review
Hey it's patronus_charm with your review, don't worry about the lengths getting longer, that way I get to enjoy the chapter for longer ;) Thanks for saying my reviews were wonderful it really meant a lot to me :D Ok on with la review!
Though I may have already said, I think it was really good how you developed Helga and Salazar's friendship slowly, as I do believe making them friends first does make their relationship more realistic and believable. As you tend to have so much free will in the Founders era, it was good that you didn't use it excessively, but kept within the realms of normal :D, unlike some people.
At times, I felt the wording was a little awkward, and had to reread the sentence so I could get the full meaning, so may be if you reviewed that it would improve the flow of things. I thought your vocabulary though was very befitting of the era which was great that you tried to make it historically correct as possible.
I thought it was great that even though Helga is an awesome character she still underestimates herself. I feel this is such a Hufflepuff quality it really fitted in with the story. When she underestimates herself it seems to only be her physical attributes that she's underestimating, because she's seemed to have grown in confidence, and can now make jokes with Salazar.
Even though Helga is my favourite character in this story, Rowena is a close second, as she's rather funny, in a quirky way. The way she's so determined to find a spell which will get rid of the boggart reminded me a lot of Hermione, and when she was researching basilisk's/horcruxes/e.t.c.
I thought the scene in which Rowena revealed that she knew about Helga's true heritage, was great, as you could really sense the tension between the two, and Rowena's anger/annoyance/sorrow to Helga's sorrow at having to betray her friend and still betray another.
Overall I thought it was a great chapter, I can't wait for the moment something more happens between Helga and Salazar. I think this a really underrated genre, but hopefully stories like yours will help change its reputation. Kiana!Author's Response: Hey again! Thanks for the awesome review, as always :)
Helga and Salazar are so much fun to write together, and I'm glad you like the fact that they start as friends. I'm like you--I found that to be the most realistic way to go, especially for two people who are so different. And I'll definitely look over my wording later, but I'm happy you're enjoying the vocabulary itself.
I'm so happy you're still liking Helga! I wanted her to connect with people and to be relatable even though she's from a different time. She doees have some areas where she lacks confidence, and don't we all? But I wanted her relationship with Salazar to help her confidence, and I'm glad you're seeing that even at this early stage.
Aww, I like Rowena too! I'm glad you see humor in her, since it's not really an obvious trait of hers. She's definitely a little off-center compared to most women of her time, because she values learning so much (as we already knew.) She's been great fun to write. She is a great person to come to for guidance or advice, as Helga is learning. I'm glad you liked the scene between them. Helga's got an intense moral decisions to make, and I thought it was important to show that not everyone will always approve of her actions.
Thanks again for the great review! I'm off to respond to your next one now :)
--Maggie Report Review
I really love this story, so I decided to review chapter 4 as well :D
Helga just gets more and more lovely with each chapter, that scene with Mary just showed exactly what being a Hufflepuff was all about. Helga and Salazar what an interesting couple, right? Beforehand I would have said they are the most unlikely pairing, but since reading your story I can see how they may have ended up together. I thought there scene together was really adorable.
I was glad you included a school scene, because they are at Hogwarts, and if you didn't I think the story may have started to become a bit detatched from the school. So just include a scene or two per chapter so it will stay believable.
Hm, Salazar's afraid of flames, and I always associated that with the Gryffindor house. Maybe their hatred for one another lies deeper than previously thought?
I think the plots coming along great and it's really believable. It certainly makes you want to read on as you provide the right amount of action and information so they balance one another out well :) Great job! KianaAuthor's Response: You are just too awesome. Haha, I'm going to get spoiled with all these extra reviews :P
Since you just suggested in your review for chapter 3 that I add more about the school itself, I'm really happy you liked the scene with Mary. I'll definitely take your advice and keep sprinkling that kind of thing in :) And I wondered how people would react to Helga and Salazar being romantically involved, because they are so different. But like you said, I think that's what makes them interesting. I'm happy you liked their little moment in this chapter!
The flames will be explained in the next few chapters, so I won't give anything away about that. All will be revealed soon though, don't worry.
I'll definitely be re-requesting again from you! I'm so happy you're enjoying this, and I love getting a new review from you :) Thanks again, Kiana!
--Maggie Report Review
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