Reading Reviews for Drafting the Script
  
13 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MissMdsty I.

15th October 2013:
Hey there!

This was such an emotional story. It moved me and it touched me and it was just too perfect for words.

The characterization was spot on, for both Luna, who being presented in canon is always challenging to write, while keeping her true to her nature, which makes her unique.

Ollivander gave off the exact same vibe he did when I read him in the books. The kind of man who is mysterious without trying, mostly because he knows so much about obscure things like wandlore.

I liked how you made a timeline for them, starting with their imprisonment at the Manor, and the fact that they grew close, since it was only implied in DH, when he sent her a new wand. The fact that Luna chose to have him at her wedding was really sweet and something that I think she would do. I also liked how you had her tell him about Rolf, because it was really refreshing to see that despite her general personality, our Luna grew up and fell in love.

The last part broke my heart into a million pieces. It was so heartwarming how she went to his bedside, and that was the last moment they saw each other. It made for a bittersweet ending. His thoughts on Luna, as being a "bright eyed creature" made me tear up. Those three words sum her up prefectly!

This was a lovely piece of writing and I am so happy to have come across it! Good job! :)

Ral

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Review #2, by Jchrissy I.

21st July 2012:
Yay yay yay I get to review! Chai in hand. Puppy cuddled in his bed. Perfect time to read!

Anyway, I was going to go with the lighter fluff mood, then as soon as I saw the banner for 710 I realized I already reviewed it! It must have been a while ago for tag or something :). Im so excited to be back with Luna though, even if its under different circumstances.


Bah. Im so lucky I chose this one to read! Everything about this story is beautiful. The imagery you used, creating that confusion in time between when Luna first started looking out the window and Mr. O thought it was silly, to when it had become some a habit that he needed it as much as her... It was all so beautiful and dark and special.

Love. Love Love Love that you had him at Lunas wedding. I was almost worried when they started dancing he was about to confess his love then Id have to go puke. Thank you for not making that happen ;). Anyway, they built such a realistic and special bond. She saved him during those horrible days, weeks...

I think the idea that they would have kept such close contact is so perfect. Look at what they suffered through together. How could they not? Who else would really understand what you went through better than the person who endured it alongside you?

Luna was just as amazing in this as FSTR. Her internal beauty never falters. Youre so very, very talented Melissa!



Author's Response: As fun as fluff is, I tend to prefer writing a happy balance of fluff and drama with a touch of angst. :P Ahh. You are too kind to me!! I am so, so grateful to have your support of my writing, and I'm fair anxious to read this sirius one-shot you mentioned.

Aha. NO. I'd never in a million years write Luna in a ship with Ollivander. The only people I've ever shipped her with are Rolf and Dean Thomas. I'm a very fussy shipper, and get very queasy with ships with huge age gaps. I'm glad you saw the more-or-less inevitability of their friendship. Luna is so vibrant and has so much vitality, I'm sure she was a beacon of hope for the other prisoners of Malfoy manor.

Gah. Thank you so, so much for this review and all of your general loveliness. I am getting very spoiled by your reviews. :P



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Review #3, by Indigo Seas I.

26th June 2012:
Bah, you and your characters. I simply don't understand how you are able to write canon characters with such depth and believability. They scare the bajeezus out of me because I'm so afraid of screwing them up somehow - and it's easy to point fingers when you're reading and say, "that character is not behaving as they should." But... wizard-God, I just cannot even express how much I adore your characters. If I could eat your talent, I would (but I would save some for you so you could continue writing brilliant things like this).

Anyway, moving on from my character-love fest, I quite enjoyed this. It takes a lot of skill to start with a situation we've seen in the books/movies and turn it into something completely different. Instead of just drafting, "Luna and a grumpy old wand maker are stuck in a cellar the end," you've turned their story into just that: a story. A script? I love the idea. I love the originality of it, and I love how you've executed it. Uniqueness has a special place in my heart, simply because sometimes it's hard to find, and this is just... bah. /eats

I think your flow is really solid, even though you're jumping kind of back and forth between various moments. It's easy to see the fluidity of how they've come together and formed a relationship, which is super hard to do. I've seen a lot of instances of, "I don't know you but NOW WE ARE FRIENDS." Kind of like that dog in Up. If you've seen that movie.

I'm completely off topic now and if I continue any longer I'm afraid I'll be ranting about clown wigs or dust bunnies or things equally ridiculous.

SO. I loved this. I love you. You're a very accomplished writer, and I want to read your things all day long (but then I would die from lack of nourishment, and that wouldn't be good).

All my love,
Rin

Author's Response: Baww.

Thank you so much for this lovely revew and all of your compliments, Rin. I adore canon and so it really makes me happy to hear positive feedback concerning my characterization of them. :) I'm not even entirely sure where this idea came from, but I am very proud of this story. It is very reassuring to hear that the progression of their friendship was believable!!

Thank you bunches! You rock.
Melissa


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Review #4, by lizmusic45 I.

12th June 2012:
Oh my gosh this was amazing. I have no complaints, not one single one, you wrote this so perfectly, oh my gosh this is the best thing ever!

I loved this one-shot with all my heart, I love Luna, and I loved how you mentioned Rolf, you made him such a good man, such a good guy. Ugh I love it so, so, much!

You are amazing!

Lizzie

Author's Response: Baww. Thank you so much, Lizzie. I am really proud of this one shot and am so glad you enjoyed it. The relationship between Olivander and Luna is one I've wanted to explore for a long time.

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Review #5, by ChoS_sista_gurl I.

27th May 2012:
Me again! This piqued my curiosity as well, and I have to say I never thought about the relationship that Luna and Mr. Ollivander might've developed during their days of imprisonment. I love fics that take a mention of something in the books and develop it into a story! One tiny thing: where you say "The darkness in the world was triumphed," I think you mean it was triumphed over? Just a typo.

Great job again! What a sweet and unlikely friendship.

Author's Response: Hey again! I have to say at the sake of sounding egotistical, that this is my favorite one shot that I've written. In my head, Luna and Ollivander had always had a friendship follwoing their imprisonment. It never really occured to me that this was a novel idea until I posted this one shot. Thank you so much for your review!

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Review #6, by manno_malfoy I.

14th January 2012:
I loved it; every little bit of this one-shot was lovable. Not only have you portrayed Luna so accurately and beautifully, but you have also portrayed her and Ollivander's surroundings with words so captivating that I saw it all in my head.

My favourite description of Luna was, "She was a strange silhouette of light against the darkness."

For a silhouette is usually black, I was really amused by the sensible anomaly you've created here.

As for Ollivander, perhaps there were two consecutive sentences that I grinned at while reading; they would be, "Her tales of dirigible plums and fanciful beasts painted bright images over the resident grey scale in his mind. Mr Ollivander enjoyed her stories his rich chuckle and rare smile brought a flicker of warmth to the chill of the prison."

As for the dialogue itself, the core of the discussion that you've chosen was rather interesting and and full of wit. And every sentence said by either of the characters seemed to be so in character that I was able to hear Luna, and even Ollivander, speak in my head through your words. And trust me, that doesn't happen with me often.

I suppose, that in my eyes, the plot of this story is built on the rich and unique imagery and the brilliant transitions between one scene and the next. Though each conversation between the two characters is far apart, time-wise, from the one following it, the flow of the story did not seem to be rushed through. On the contrary, everything seemed to be going at a gentle pace. And, I especially liked the linking lines between the conversations in the cellar; they were quite witty.

I really love the angle you have taken. It is, indeed, very creative and well-written. This was one of the most refreshing things I've read in a while, tone-wise, style-wise, structure-wise, and idea-wise. I absolutely loved it.

(Whoops! Sorry about the essay I've written here!)

Author's Response: Essay reviews = win.

I literally am a bit speechless right now. I was nervous approaching this one shot since I also have a luna WIP and didn't want to recreate that version of luna here. I'm very glad she worked. Ollivander on the other hand basically wrote himself. Their relationship is this one shot was very much inspired by my own relationship with my grandpa, and so this one shot has a very special place in my mind and heart.

I'm very glad you enjoyed it and want to thank you yet again for leaving this review.


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Review #7, by academica I.

8th January 2012:
Hey! Thanks for the swap :) It was a tough decision, but I decided to go with this one. You seem to love Luna!

This story is such an interesting study in contrasts. You've got Luna, perched like a songbird (fantastic metaphor there) and waiting patiently to be rescued while she admires the night sky, and Mr. Ollivander, the elderly, world-weary man who has already accepted his impending doom.

I also love the character progression you've shown even in this short piece. Mr. Ollivander clearly comes to care for Luna and worry a little bit about her, and Luna shares a little bit of her light with him. I like that you've shown us that the two of them maintained their friendship after their capture was concluded. And Luna's yellow wedding dress... so very her. Great choice!

The ending was very sweet. I would never have imagined the two of them creating quite so special of a bond, even after what they went through, but I like to imagine such a thing. The whole story was rather light and tender, and quite enjoyable.

I did notice one tiny thing -- when Luna says "of course I will, but then again, you already knew that, I think", you're missing the last comma in that sentence (after 'that'). Normally I wouldn't mention such a minute detail, but it did disrupt the flow a bit for me, and I had to go back and read it over again before I understood what you'd intended to say.

Wonderful!

Amanda

Author's Response: I do love Luna!

I thought they were such drastically contrasting characters that they would compliment each other well. Luna is sort of an infectious soul, and I could see her having a very positive impact on Ollivander's life.

Thank you so much for the review!

xoxo
Melissa


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Review #8, by webeta123 I.

7th January 2012:
Hi there, I'm from review tag.

This story is so sweet and I loved every bit of it. The flow was simply beautiful and the word choice made the story all the more plausible. I love when minor characters get new life breathed into them and you made Mr Ollivander so believable. Even Luna seemed to be in perfect characterization, with her paradoxical statements and unwavering faith. And the end was so bittersweet. Overall a very touching story. Easily a 10/10

~webeta123

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! I really am proud of this one shot and am glad you enjoyed it.

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Review #9, by BettyMaeStrange I.

5th January 2012:
I'll just start my saying that this is really wonderful!

You create a wonderful relationship between the two and I think the formatting is brilliant, with the whole idea of a script and the un-italicised text being almost like a narrative - very well done with that, it's very different from what I normally read, so I really enjoyed that.

Your descriptions are excellent, and you really paint the picture of the scene. I especially liked your description of Luna sitting beneath the window with the light streaming down on her - just the image of her sat there was completely 'Luna-ish'.

Your characterisation of Ollivander was wonderful, too, and I think his words and your description of him fitted him very well.

The only two things I will mention now is that I didn't think Luna's words fitted her as well. I know it's a very hard task slipping into the essence of a character that has already long existed, but I think you lost a bit of her dream-like quality and her essence when she spoke. Your depictions of her expressions and movements were perfect, but I think the dialogue of a character could be something for you to think about next time - the way they speak is just as important as what they say.

Grammar and spelling was spot-on as far as I could see, but, for example:

"Shhh," she placed two of her fingers to his cool, dry lips, "You're..."

Should be: "Shhh." She placed two of her fingers to his cool, dry lips. "You're..."

If someone has finished speaking and you are not describing the dialogue with something like 'he said' or 'she asked' then you don't put a comma, just a full stop, and there would only be a comma *before* opening quotation marks again if it would be something like this:

"Shhh," she said, placing two of her fingers to his cool, dry lips, "you're..."

So you see the sentence continues and the second bit of speech does not have a capital letter.

Gosh, I'm sorry if I've epically confused you here, I think I confused myself - perhaps just have a read over online at some of the rules of speech.

I hope this helps you and I think you've done a wonderful job over all in terms of describing their relationship and experience of imprisonment.

Well done! xxx

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review and for the critique! I wrote this rather quickly and never really did go through and edit it. I'm glad you enjoyed the one shot... it was a lot of fun to write.



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Review #10, by AC_rules I.

5th January 2012:
This was just so lovely in every way :D

I mostly expected it to be brilliant because I'm pretty sure you're one of thoes rare people who can write Luna beautifully (I sadly, am not one of those people) to the point where she feels so much like the Luna in the books that I want to believe this sort of thing happened. Still, I think your surpassed my expectations.

Every coversation was so brilliant, Luna was so perfect and so was Ollivander! I think you picked two of the most impossible characters to write and did it impeccably. Plus their friendship felt so real and true and stunning. I just loved everything about it. Thank you for writing such a lovely one-shot for me, and thanks for being a lovely secret santa :D

-AC

Author's Response: I'm so glad you enjoyed this one shot. I had a lot of fun writing it, and it sort of wrote itself and I just had to hope that you'd end up liking it, and then you did! And so I am happy.

Thank you for the review and a very late merry christmas to you.


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Review #11, by Toujours Padfoot I.

3rd January 2012:
Such a beautiful story. ♥

You are the ultimate authority on Luna. Ollivander is cynical but softened by her, as everyone is when their lives become saturated with Luna's magic, and their friendship is very unexplored in fanfic. I don't think I have ever read a story about Luna and Ollivander while they were being imprisoned in Malfoy Manor before this one, and it was exactly as I imagined. It was light and dreamy and bittersweet, and slid perfectly into canon. I don't think Luna will ever stop looking, because she knows there's always something left to find; and I like that a bit of that optimism rubbed off on Ollivander, however reluctantly. He died a better person for having known her.

Well done, Mel.

:)

Author's Response: Authority on Luna... that sounds so daunting and official. But Luna magic! that sounds fun. I couldn't see anyone remaining cold and unaffected after spending any length of time with Luna, Ollivander being no exception.

Thank you so, so much for your support. It means the worlds to me.

xoxo
Melissa


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Review #12, by hdawg I.

3rd January 2012:
MEL, MY HEART! MY EYES! I CANNOT SEE :( this is truly beautiful. I don't know what else I can say that would allow me to comprehend my thoughts and emotions. It's just so simple and beautifully written that it suits the simplicity of their friendship so well.
Thank you for writing it!
Lots of love, Hannah

Author's Response: HANNAH.

Thank you so, so much for this review. I really enjoy writing Luna, and when other people enjoy what I've written -- that's like the best ever.

xoxo


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Review #13, by Loopy456 I.

3rd January 2012:
I know I'm not AC but... Oh my goodness. This is so gorgeous. I have never read a piece like this before but I loved it! I think it was so clever and so typically Luna. 10/10, definitely :D

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review.

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