Reading Reviews for Albus's Story
  
182 Reviews Found

Review #1, by AdinaPuff Watching

25th January 2015:
Review swap!

Ooh this caught my attention really quick. I'll definitely be reading on. I love Albus/Scorpius one shots. I've never really read a novel on them though, but this will be a first!

I like how Albus is so easily distracted by Scorpius. James tried to get him to talk but to no avail. It shows just how captivated Albus is with Scorpius.

His train of thought was good for a first chapter. It explained the situation and how he was afraid to tell Michael. We haven't met Michael too well yet so I don't know how he would respond, but I hope he doesn't have a problem with it. For Albus's sake.

Speaking of responses to Albus's secret, I can clearly imagine James's flabbergasted look if Al was to admit it. I can't wait for him to come out and see the reactions everyone has.

Al seems pretty disconnected from the world. Even when his friends were talking about Scorpius he didn't pay too much attention.

Oooh, way to end it with Scorpius catching the snitch. I like it. Proves everyone who was trash talking him that he can be better than James.

Well done! Loved it.

-Leigh

Author's Response: Thank you for a lovely review! :-)

Oh yes, Albus can be disconnected from the world at times. He is thinking too much. ;-)

I'm glad you like the story! :-)

Molly


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Review #2, by Maelody Wishing

12th January 2015:
Hey! I recognize this chapter! Only, it's in Scorpius' POV! ;)

Seriously though, I love that you do sort of parallel this chapter with the first chapter of the sequel. It shows just how meant to be these boys are! I love Albus in this chapter because he's just so lost in loving Scorpius that he goes through the whole dinner with his parents. We know he's a shy character, and he worries what people think of him more than anything else, but he does this for Scorpius because he loves him. That's what I love about your story here. It's about love, and it's beautifully shown through your characters! I can't wait to continue on the journey with you through the sequel! We'll have a wonderful time!

Author's Response: Yes, I'd like to think of this as a love story. It's not primary about coming out, or about wizards, but a story of how the first time in love can be. Albus is so much a version of myself as a teenager. (Although very different, his feelings and thoughts are mine, if you know what I mean.)

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Review #3, by Maelody Celebrating

12th January 2015:
I was so happy to see that Harry could put his differences with Malfoy aside to agree to talk to him about their sons! Not that I ever really expected him to not do so, but it just shows us the initial growth he's come to that we as fans missed out on because the books don't go that far. ;) Also, Albus practically pleading him to was sort of adorable. I love how he wants everyone to be OK with their relationship, though I sort of think maybe he needs to tone it down a bit. It's great when people are happy for you, but sometimes they have to come in at their own pace, you know? :)

~Mae

Author's Response: You're totally right! Albus is too anxious and he wants everyone to be happy...

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Review #4, by Maelody Introducing

12th January 2015:
I think this chapter really brought back the initial beginning of the story, which I love. The beginning we see a family who is so wrapped up in being a family and arguing about family things, and then we see how one of the family members (Albus) goes off and completely changes his life. Then we're brought back to the scenes where the family is together again, and it's like nothing has changed. I think that beautifully sums up everything the Potters are about. This is perfect!

~Mae

Author's Response: Yes, I lik to think about them as a loving and functional family.

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Review #5, by Maelody Forgetting

12th January 2015:
I like Dorinda. I'd like to see Albus and her become friends in the sequel. ;) I also like that there's someone out there that can read Scorpius a little better than Albus. It's sweet. I was just excited that Scorpius would be spending the Christmas break with Albus! Even if his family isn't speaking to him at this point, I had hoped he would be at the Potters' anyway before this point came up. :)

~Mae

Author's Response: You'll see more of Dorinda soon! ;-)

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Review #6, by Maelody Accepting?

12th January 2015:
I don't know which I loved more from this chapter! The Prophet story, or the letters from his parents! Both of them are the perfect reactions where they should be, and both of the fit so remarkably well within this chapter! I think Harry's letter is my favorite, though. I don't know, maybe it has something to do with the fact we've read seven books based around him, but having his approval really seems more official. ;) Loved this chapter!

~Mae

Author's Response: Thank you once again for reviewing all these chapters! :-)

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Review #7, by Maelody Falling

12th January 2015:
This is it! This is my favorite chapter! The one where everything is officially out in the open, whether they're aware of everyone who knows or not! I just love how matter-of-fact you made Albus care about Scorpius when he thought he was dead. And when Scorpius' first thought was to introduce Albus to his parents as his boyfriend, I cheered! My favorite chapter of the story right here!

~Mae

Author's Response: This was the start of the story in a way. I had this scene worked out long before the other chapters.

This scene, and the various letters is from another fic I wr a few years ago. I would have published it here, but it is not ok at HPFF as it is a sample of letters only (no other text), so it doesn't match the ToS. It is called Letters and can be found on FF-net. :-)


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Review #8, by Maelody To be honest

12th January 2015:
Too bad that truth actually came from Albus in the long run technically. ;) I love this Scorpius view chapter as a whole! As I should since I will get o beta the sequel to this one which, lucky me, gets to be in Scorpius' view! Yay me! Also, I love how Scorpius has his own morals here other than the ones his father has adopted.

~Mae

Author's Response: I'm happy you like Scorpius's thought as there are lots of it to come. :-)

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Review #9, by Maelody Fighting

12th January 2015:
This chapter was the one that took me most by surprise considering it happened right after such a beautiful moment. I always wondered what it was that made Scorpius at that very moment want to be exclusive. I know it's been an issue with them from the beginning, but I can't help but wonder if something/someone else made it clear to him that he wanted his relationship open.

~Mae

Author's Response: Maybe I can write some kind of explanation for this in the sequel? I'll think about that.

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Review #10, by Maelody Loving

12th January 2015:
I hope this doesn't make me sound pervy, but I was super looking forward to the time that Scorpius and Albus would get to lay with one another for the first time! It did not disappoint, either! I think it just showed how much these two boy really care for one another and were ready to take that next step in life together!

~Mae

Author's Response: This was the most difficult part in the story I think. :-)

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Review #11, by Maelody Hiding

12th January 2015:
Lily has to be the best little sister ever. I think she did Albus a favor in telling his cousins and brother because honestly, I don't think it was in Al to ever tell anyone really. Honestly, it was brave enough for him to even step out and admit he's gay to Scorpius so he can have a boyfriend in the first place haha! Really though, I hope there comes a time when Albus sits and appreciates Lily for doing what she did. Sure she reacted poorly when she first saw the pair, but she had her reasons, and she was shocked. He was a little over dramatic with the whole two days thing, though ;). Poor Scorpius could have had more kisses instead of having to worry about his beloved!

~Mae

Author's Response: Oh yes, he is certainly overreacting. Albus is sometimes too concerned about himself to see those things...

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Review #12, by Maelody Flying

12th January 2015:
I know he doesn't have that big of a part in your story here, but I love your Teddy so much! He's one of my favorite characters and I think you've picked him out perfectly. I think he would have communicated better with Albus simply because he is the middle child. So seeing these letters made me extremely happy because they were just so Teddy-like!

~Mae

Author's Response: A Teddy-spin off next...? ;-)

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Review #13, by Maelody Worrying

12th January 2015:
I've always thought the most 'sexy' relationships were the secret ones. Once everyone learn you're in one your life just changes forever, doesn't it? Maybe Scorpius should have reveled in the secrecy while he could have. Now people are constantly going to picking on him for skiving out of things to see his boyfriend and probably won't let him go. Before if he said he was too sick to come, he was just too sick. Now every excuse he has will end up with him 'wanting to snog his boyfriend'. Poor Scorpius, should have learned while you were still naive ;).

~Mae

Author's Response: He is too honest you know... ;-)

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Review #14, by Maelody Wanting

12th January 2015:
Aaaah! This is the chapter where they ended up kissing! I must admit I was way more excited for this than I thought I should have been (I should have seen it coming considering). But the way you placed everything and the timing of it was perfect. I was more excited for their first kiss than I was for my own. :p This was another one of my favorite scenes throughout the whole story!

~Mae

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it! :-D

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Review #15, by Maelody Flirting

12th January 2015:
I actually thought this story might go in a direction in which Albus would end up dating Sarah just to please everyone, then it would deal with him being with Scorpius and having to break it to Sarah and everyone else. I can honestly say I'm glad this didn't end up being the case. Albus stayed true to himself, regardless of the possible suspicion anyone may have had of him. Though I wonder if Scorpius has ever dated a girl in his past to please everyone else? ;)

~Mae

Author's Response: I think that both of them are too true to themselves to date girls for appearance only. Albus could probably have felt himself forced to do so, but not Scorpius. :-)

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Review #16, by Maelody Struggling

12th January 2015:
I really love the scene between Al and his mom. It's just so tinder and sweet. I think Al suffers from what I like to call 'middle child syndrome'. Ginny is just how I would imagine her as a mother, and I think I realized here that she thought of the possibility of her son being gay, but didn't mention it for the fears that she expresses later. It's a beautiful scene, really. I can tell you're a mother. :p

~Mae

Author's Response: The scenes between Albus and Ginny is the easiest part of the story to write. Being a mother myself probably helps. ;-)

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Review #17, by Maelody Dreaming

12th January 2015:
I like the side relationship with James and Jennifer. It's not even all that prominent, but it's really comfortable to read about and see. It's one of those things that you just grow used to knowing, even though it has nothing to do with Albus. Little details like this make me really happy that I get to work with you! :)

~Mae

Author's Response: Thanks! :-)

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Review #18, by Maelody Talking

12th January 2015:
This is one of my favorite moments in the story! When Scorpius and Albus first get to really be with one another. There's that certain uneasy feel to it because neither boy know if the other is gay. It's like getting to talk to your crush when they're crushing back on you, but neither person realize it. I think it's adorable and a memory you've created flawlessly. Great job!

~Mae

Author's Response: Thanks!

It is really kind of you to reviewing all this as well as beta'ing the sequel. :-D


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Review #19, by Maelody Watching

12th January 2015:
Hello, love! Just me here to give you the reviews you earned earlier that I couldn't give cause I was speed reading to get to editing your sequel! ;) Sorry if they're not very thorough, I just want you to have reviews you earn! :)

First off, I'd like to say that I'm glad you let me volunteer to beta your sequel, because when I came over here to check into what I'm getting into, I grew overly excited! You have a wonderful story here and I'm so excited to get to work with you!

In this chapter particularly I really like the relationships you build with your characters. Of course I know most of them are family, but to captures years of memories and relationships with one another can be hard to do sometimes. You make falling into this story feel very natural and that's what I love most about next gen fics when they're pulled off correctly. :) Great job!

~Mae

Author's Response: Thanks! I don't know how to answer to these kind words!
I'm happy you like the story, because that will make our work easier of course!


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Review #20, by The Basilisk Wishing

10th January 2015:
Oh! There's a spin-off as well as a sequel! I'll have to check them both out now! :D

So I'm only a little sad there wasn't more conversation at the dinner with his parents, but I guess that wasn't really the point, was it? It was just to have an effort of having a meal with his son in the house (which then ended up being with Albus as well). It's actually good progress on Draco's part haha!

All-in-all, this had a very nice, sweet ending to it. Happily ever after is always good! Though I fear hardships are coming in the sequel just because, well, it' a sequel! And it's a normal, functioning relationship. What sort of relationship is absolutely perfect, right?

I'm so glad I stumbled across this story, I really am. It's so nice to read good fan fiction that has such an amazing depth of understanding in these characters. We know these people, and we know how loving or understanding they can be. We also know the other people, who may take some time to get used to things. You made this whole story seem effortless and it was just such a pleasure to get to read the whole thing through! You've done a great job with this chapter, and the story as a whole, and I give the whole thing a 10/10!

As for now, Albus's Story is finished and I'm slithering away to the next one without hesitation!

The Basilisk

Author's Response: Thank you once again!

You're quite right. Happily ever after is very rare in relationships... ;-)


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Review #21, by The Basilisk Celebrating

10th January 2015:
Ah Hermione, ever the mediator!

Christmas was a treat! I like that Lily knows exactly what happened with her brothers and she's good enough to mind her own business about it. I'm sure he wants to tell on James for how much he teases her, but maybe she's teaching him a lesson that she doesn't care about him doing his relationship things. Haha

Yay! Scorpius' mum came round! Well, sorta, but enough to actually get through to her son. I wonder what was in his package? It was little so I'm thinking something Quidditch related or something.

While I do hope Draco comes around, I sort of can't help but think this is perfectly normal for him and I actually think it'd be best if people gave him some time to adjust to the idea. It's only been a few weeks, and sometimes it just takes a while to remember that's still the little boy he taught to fly and took to the Ministry for father/son work days (assuming your Malfoy is like the one in my head ;)).

Like I said, seeing the Christmas chapter was so cute, and I'm sad that I'm about to enter the last chapter! But I saw that you said there is a sequel! I'll have to check it out immediately after I'm done with this! It makes finishing this one a little easier. Also, as for the David idea, I'm just your friendly neighborhood Basilisk ;). Thanks though!

Author's Response: Thank you, dear Basilisk! I'm amazed by the number of sweet reviews you are leaving!

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Review #22, by The Basilisk Introducing

9th January 2015:
I hope you don't tire of me saying every chapter is just so sweet, because I can't help myself! Each chapter just gets sweeter than the last! James conjuring mistletoe everywhere is by far my most favorite scene in this story so far! I see so much of his late grandfather in him, it's perfect! :)

As for Lily, I feel for her. I have a younger brother and he does that to me all the time. My dad, too. They're both really into archery and love asking my boyfriends to be 'target' practice. I want to give her a hug.

I think the best part, though, is that Ginny has become her mum. Seriously, it's like having another Molly Weasley running around and I love it!

They spent the two minutes (maybe five?) . That one made me laugh out loud! I think ever teenager in the world knows how that one goes, no matter where they're from! You know, to make sure he had enough towels and blankets and things...

I like that Scorpius is pretty much involved in every game he plays. Poor Al can't even get him to stop paying attention to chess long enough to pay attention to him. Or at least go easy on him haha.

Sorry, I know reviews are supposed to be really helpful and stuff, but I sort of find it hard to do that when I can't stop smiling after every chapter I read. This is the most adorable piece of fluff I've ever read and I'm just so happy that it is an Albus/Scorpius piece. I've said it a few times before, but I'll say it again. Your talent with these characters and the emotions, and even the scenery really, are so close to perfection, I just can't get enough of it. You're awesome, and I hope that when this one comes to an end, you continue to write amazing stories like it!

OK, sentimental stuff, be gone, and get to the next chapter!

Really though, this is great. :)

Author's Response: Don't be sorry! I love your kind reviews!

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Review #23, by The Basilisk Forgetting

9th January 2015:
"I'm sorry about Christmas!" Haha, cute. :)

Yay! The two boys are spending the holiday together! That'll be so sweet! And going to the New Year's party, too! What a way to ring in the new year, eh? They'll both be open and have nothing to hide. :)

Albus and I sound exactly alike when it comes to Christmas shopping. Every year I do it so last minute I end up scrounging through my own room looking for things I've never used to give away. Then, the next year I spend HOURS in one day shopping for all of the perfect gifts! High five to Al!

I knew Roxxie would get over it ;)

It's funny how Al is too scared to bring Scorp over for a weekend dinner, but he'll have him over for the whole holiday no questions asked. Good to know Scorpius won't be spending it alone at the castle though. :)

Oh, and I'm not sure if it helps, but I think Grandma Weasley would like the pair on the left. They suit her hair more ;).

Anyway, this chapter was really adorable. One of the first times we get to see Al actually not really worry about anything. This is a job well done! :)

Author's Response: Albus is nervous, but he's also brave...

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Review #24, by The Basilisk Accepting?

9th January 2015:
"Jupiter and I and all those zillions of cousins of yours" haha! Perfect summarizing of this chapter!

I like that Neville jumped in so quickly, then pretended like nothing ever happened. Albus may have been embarrassed, but it'd comfort him to know those girls were more embarrassed in the end than he was!

Those letters made me tear up a bit! As soon as I saw "My brave Albus" my body was engulfed in chills and a tear started to form. It was so sweet. I also love how Harry wished Scorpius his best with the skele-grow. Also the sweet parcel to come was really cute ;).

Poor Roxanne. Finding out those two things all at once! Well, hopefully she gets over it soon haha. At least now she knows he never flirted back because he was gay and not because he just simply didn't like her, right?

Also, I loved the news paper article! That actually caught my attention and I wish there was more simply because I got that into it. You really do a good job of adding every detail and feeling into this story, and I admire that. You have a wonderful gift of writing and I can't wait until I'm caught up with this story to see how it ends!

Author's Response: Thank you! :-)

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Review #25, by The Basilisk Falling

9th January 2015:
First off, before I forget, of COURSE it was a McLaggen that threw a fit! I wouldn't have it any other way! ;)

Anyway, I was really excited to see a full blown Quidditch game from you, and then you went and scared me half to death! Poor Scorpius! I'm glad he's OK! You'd think Hogwarts would learn by now to cast charms near the bottom so that if players fall, they're caught by an invisible net haha!

It was really cool to see an older student preform accidental magic. I was rereading the Harry Potter books the other day and read the bit where Harry was running from bullies and magically ended up on the roof of the kitchens. Albus ending up right by Scorpius reminded me of that. It was sweet, and worrying, considering he just did apparent unpracticed apparition haha! He's lucky he didn't splinch himself!

There was one little qualm I had with the chapter (though it's still great, don't get me wrong!) I just feel that Scorpius was a little too 'strong' after waking up from a fall like that. He just goes straight to his parent and smoothly and calmly says Albus is his boyfriend. It just makes it a tad bit unbelievable. Everything else was great though! Their reaction were how I imagined them to be if they were put on the spot like that.

As for Albus, I feel sort of bad cause he has yet to get to tell anybody verbally that he is gay. It is either shown, somebody else tells the other, or people guess. I guess he never had to worry about telling people after all. Just worry about their reactions (which I'm excited to see Ginny and Harry's now!)

As for that, I really do hope McGonagall puts McLaggen in his place ;). And high fives to Lily, Rose, and Michael for being awesome!

Author's Response: You'll nev get a full blown Quidditch game from me. I'm as interested in Quidditch as Albus is... I do like swimming though! ;-)

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