Reading Reviews for Electric Pow-Wow
  
53 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MissMdsty one.

11th February 2013:
Hello there, dear!

I must say, this was a lovely first chapter. Astoria is a character we literally only see once in the books and that gives so much room for interpretation.

You've created some very powerful images with your descriptions in this chapter. Of the school, as it had been before the war reached it and as it is now. You've also given us some insight into the personality of your leading lady and she seems lost and lonely from what I can tell. It's going to be interesting to discover her as she becomes the woman to win over Draco Malfoy's heart.

Finally, I must say that your writting, as I've seen it so far, flows nicely along and I'm curious to see where you will take this story!

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Review #2, by CloakAuror9 three.

28th January 2013:
"I never remember having seen a person with more hair than you. This line is really sweet to me, but I couldn't help but giggle at the image of those words coming out of Draco's mouth!

I'm glad the two of them are starting to find their feet in this new found friendship. I wish that they'd hurry up a bit though, the suspense is killing me. But it's okay, I'm sure it will all be worth it in the end, right? Right.

Draco and Astoria's characterisations are so original. I've never seen anything like it. I've always imagined Astoria as someone who has a sunny and outgoing personality. So, I'm really loving this whole new shy, subtle side of her. And as for Draco, I love how he's slowly accepting Astoria. In my head, after the war he became very reserved and only chose to talk with certain people, people that he trust.

When I read the summary, I told myself this: 'Okay, Izzy. One chapter a day only. You want to make the story last.' Obviously, I didn't realise how addicting your story was before then! :P I'm hooked. Hahahha.

~Izzy

62nd review out of 100

Author's Response: Also to be fair, this is a headcanon Draco who completely reformed. A lot of people probably wouldn't see this is a plausible outcome of the war, but I think he's just disgusted with his past and has a reaction to it and it's stronger than even learning to hate Muggles as a child. I think he must have realized something big to make him do this. but we enter sort of media res in this story, alas.

AHA. Hurrying is, as you've already noted, not something I'm good at doing. Stuff will happen but it'll take a few more chapters ;)

I thought, no, she's going to be a bit scarred by the war, isn't she? And I feel like Draco wouldn't feel completely safe with someone who had no apparent reservation, because his situation is really tricky and he'd need someone who could balance and weigh consequences and stuff enough to forgive him. Someone with a pretty sunny disposition can seem a bit one-tone, you know, and I just thought he'd be attracted to that element of mystery that a quiet person (when you're attracted to them, at least) carries.

I'm so so so pleased that you're liking this! It's a different kind of romance as far as I can tell because there's no plot in the current moment; theyr'e stuck in the past. It was hard to write but it meant something to me, so, here we are (:

thanks so much for your reviews!! and the story will always be here, so take your time, or don't, because you can always come back to it.

-lily


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Review #3, by CloakAuror9 two.

28th January 2013:
Oooh! And they finally meet! I wonder what happens next...

Again, great job with the imagery! I am just in more and more awe as I keep reading the story. You descriptions are just so perfect. It's kind of refreshing, but I don't know why. Also, I love how you're taking the story in a nice and easy pace, instead of just rushing through things.

I really love how we already know a lot about Astoria and it's only the second chapter. I'm glad her family is safe and alive, even though they disinherited her. But apparently, they didn't really because they didn't completely abandon Astoria.

Also, I like how you describe Draco's eyes as warm. I've seen a lot of fics where they are described as stormy and cold. Like I said, refreshing.

Great job for chapter two! I can't possibly delay reading chapter three now, could I? I wonder how she reacts to his approach!

~Izyy

61st review out of 100

Author's Response: To be fair, I was putting off actual romance. But I am glad you liked the pace of it and descriptions, again!

I like to stick close to character rather than to plot. In some ways this makes me really frustrated with myself but I am glad that you are enjoying it right now.

:3 thanks again!!!


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Review #4, by CloakAuror9 one.

28th January 2013:
I don't know how or why I found your story, but I did. I'm glad I did. Draco/Astoria, YES! I haven't read any Drastoria (is that the ship name?) in a while so I'm really glad I found this.

I like how there was a bit of mystery about her having tea with Professor Flitwick at the start, only to be clarified later when she's in the bar.

Your descriptions are really...amazing? Wonderful? Perfect? It's so easy to get lost in them! The first three chapters particularly had amazing imagery in them. Gah. I wish I was as talented as you.

This is a really great job for a first 'real stab at romance'. It's beyond great! ♥

~Izzy

60th review out of 100

Author's Response: Hiya! Indeed, Drastoria is the ship name.

wowow thank you for all those compliments! Really, all I did was write what I really really wanted to; write so it hurts, the stuff you think you can't say but that when you give it permission just sort of tumbles out. You can do this! I think everyone can.

Thanks so much :3


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Review #5, by TheGoldenKneazle nine.

25th September 2012:
Oooh this was such a perfect and lovely last chapter :3 I thought that you tied everything up very nicely, because there's a sense of peace and finality all through the chapter and it feels as though Astoria has made peace with herself and her metaphors of life. It feels right to leave them here on the bus :)

The metaphors are back! (I am very glad you didn't abandon them in this last chapter, seeing as they've been built upon for the other eight and it would be a shame to leave them out now). It was so nice to have them reach fullness, and the ideas to be lain out in their now-developed forms. I really do feel as though I've been on an enlightening journey with Astoria (and Draco, to an extent), and you've done such a brilliant job of including the reader in all of this! :D

I have such faith in Drastoria after just 15k, which seems a little strange as I've never really been able to get along with Draco before, yet the way you've developed him feels natural and strangely /normal/ after all we know he's been through. Their relationship is strong, and I love how you left them as a pair discovering it all together - also, the cleverness of how it all tied in to the beginning with HOGWARTS BUILDING and HOME was just so beyond-words fabulous 8D 83

This has been such a wonderful reading experience, Lily - you're amazing at what you do as a wordsmith, and I just hope that one day I can write something that makes me think a tenth of what EPW has made me think :)

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Review #6, by TheGoldenKneazle eight.

25th September 2012:
THEY KISSED! AFTER 8 CHAPTERS. MY SHIPPY FEELS ARE GOING CRAZY 83 Meeep the reunion was just so lovely and brilliant and you've really brought them together so well! The feeling of final realisation and enlightenment was so strong, through all the metaphors, and you've brought them together so fabulously :)

It was so lovely to read it and muddle through Draco's words and Astoria's questions with them, because it really did feel like the climax of their understanding of each other. I just hope Draco's concept of 'home' is expanded upon more, because you've portrayed his journey so well and I don't want Astoria to lose him :(

Also I'm ridiculously happy that the title made it in! I was so wondering if/how "electric pow-wow" would come up, and it was so perfect that I couldn't help squeeing, A LOT. It's just so... Drastoria, certainly after the big enlightenment, and the phrasing is just so beautiful in its strange clunkiness, if that makes sense!

(Although interestingly if you google image "electic pow-wow" there are a lot of band/club posters. AIF comes up with play shots and invictus comes up with Morgan Freeman. Imma stop the creepiness now). I almost can't believe there's only one more chapter left D:

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Review #7, by TheGoldenKneazle seven.

25th September 2012:
This was a beautifully contrasting chapter! :3 The change of style seemed to perfectly fit drunk Astoria, because the words were so much less structured and far more over the place, and it was so much like landing in her muddled thoughts.

It was strange at first to have all Astoria's ideas so muddled, because we don't really know why she's upset and what's happened to Draco - just that he's gone, and she can't take it quite yet. It was a different kind of effective and it does make me extremely curious about what will happen to them now, since they've seemed so inseparable, but now...

Your last paragraphs were so lovely, the phrase which originally pulled me in -"goodness is a seed, it starts in the heart and spreads its leaves through the body like electricity - appearing, and all the subtle similies used throughout (such as Astoria being like her fan) made me smile so much. All the theories on life and relationships you write make me think a lot, and it's good to be able to engage so much with your lovely story :)

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Review #8, by TheGoldenKneazle six.

25th September 2012:
This has got to be my favourite chapter so far :3 There was just such an air of peace and contentment that almost seemed to emanate from the words, as Astoria's friendship with Draco had found its place and it had helped her to /do/ things.

I loved the descriptions of their outings together, how they're learning lessons at college - you've shown their process of learning to become 'real' people and gain a 'normal' understanding so clearly, and their camaraderie seems so much more bonding because they're going out into the world together. I love how both their lives are better with the other in it, and how they just slot in nicely with the other, because it feels like a simple and true sort of romance that's been forgotten.

And Hannah - the little ways in which you show Astoria noticing things about people where before she saw very little, such as Hannah's age, is subtly telling. I do love how you show hints and let us work it out for ourselves, because I feel a lot more involved in their lives than otherwise.

Ooh I do so love the ending, too - Hannah's words wouldn't be so profound if Astoria didn't pay so much heed to her words, but as it is, I love how we can see that she's dropped the perfect idea of how to be in Astoria's head. It's all so lovely and I can't wait to see what Draco's been doing, either :D

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Review #9, by TheGoldenKneazle five.

25th September 2012:
Aww, there was so much progress in so few words in this chapter! I just love how you've written Astoria's revelations to herself, because they're tied closely to Draco's words and as she peels back layers of beliefs, we can see her values getting closer to Draco's. It's gradual, though, and the time to get there feels natural and easy.

I do like Draco and Astoria talking more. You write his words in a poetic style, but because they are so similar to the style of Astoria's thought train, it is easy to see how they fit together in this way that nobody else does.

It's difficult to look back and see the moment when this closeness was established because you've written the progression to this stage of honest talking and hand-holding so neatly - it feels real enough to imagine yourself in their places, but not so normal as to lose interest at all. They're both unique, and I love that :)

I like the little reminders of real life, too, though - how they need to get jobs, since Draco hasn't any money. How they're still battling other people's views and morals of parents. It sort of brings Astoria's flyaway thoughts back around in a circle to earth, relating it back to the solid events we know of. This was a generally lovely chapter, and I do look forward to reading more :D

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Review #10, by TheGoldenKneazle four.

25th September 2012:
Aah all the Drastoria interaction is just so lovely here - treated to a full chapter of focus on their new, sort-of relationship. I love how you show the details which seem simple and those which seem fuzzy, hard to decide on, because sometimes they're such different ideas to mine which Astoria is unsure about, and sometimes so similar.

I love the comparisons between Draco and Astoria, too - how it's clear that they have both been thinking that they know each other, judging each other, but have come to realise that they know nothing more than the other people who judge them, too. It's nice to see them discovering more solid facts about each other because of that, such as how they both studied human anatomy once they realised their parents' beliefs were not unshakeable.

It's also nice to see them emerging into the world a bit more, under Draco's influence at least, and becoming a bit less introverted with each other, since it's felt almost surreal until now, how Astoria can move between her few places without touching spheres without anyone else. Now, it already feels as though she's becoming bound to Draco.

Your description is always so lovely and magical, but this chapter's seemed especially entrancing as you described the shift in Astoria's shifting view of herself. I do look forward to reading more! :)

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Review #11, by TheGoldenKneazle three.

25th September 2012:
eep eep this is all so wonderful! I just lurve how you're showing the snippets of their shakily-established relationship, the slowly-emerging understanding as they learn a little more about each other through the vulnerable silence. And the quote "They were learning about each other all in the wrong order, but nobody had ever said that love was a well-timed mechanism, ticking faithfully as a bomb towards detonation. They were vulnerable in their silence before the regular time, but it was all building towards the same result, the same ending place." -- (sorry for choosing the long version!) sums it all up so perfectly, giving us these bright little hints that there can be something more between them.

It's interesting to read Astoria's musings of how much imagination she has, too - we're never sure if she is creating hers and Draco's relationship all in her head, or if she is reading it all perfectly. Her creeping doubts of if she's looking for love in the wrong places keep me rooting for them more than if it was just laid out nicely, too - you've made the romance into this tantalising mystery :D

I do like Draco's characterisation thus far, too. He's downtrodden and not in a great place, but you've given him a routine and hope, so we still cling onto his getting better and will Astoria to talk to him.

I do like how it's not written in a set timescale of "last Wednesday this happened and tomorrow I went here" because the vague drifting of time matches the attitude of Astoria and did I mention that I love the style and progression of this story? Because I do :)

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Review #12, by TheGoldenKneazle two.

25th September 2012:
Draco! Ooh I do like how he's been woven in and out of this chapter, a small feature of Astoria's life, and how his appearance triggered more realisations about herself - that she didn't like people, that she was unused to human interaction. It just shows the small effect he's already having, and triggering shippy feels too~

I like knowing more about Astoria's life, too. Her routine and what she likes to do and where to go show us just as much as her thoughts can, and the way she goes between the library and the Leaky demonstrate her lack of human interaction. The way you describe her thrill at not knowing if she's staying or going, but knowing she can't really go, are also subtler hints to her character that I love.

Ahh Hannah's married? :D You've characterised her so well already as the kind woman who wants to help Astoria where she can but isn't sticking her nose into everything. She's just lovely, and I do hope Neville pops in at some point ;)

The way her potential interest in love and her emotions are described are very different to how I've seen them written before, but it still feels just as romance-y and emotional as other, more plain-reading stories - just more magical (if this all makes sense). Though the cliffhanger is mean, it's definitely worked ;)

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Review #13, by TheGoldenKneazle one.

25th September 2012:
I know I appear to have gotten into the habit of saying this, but I LOVE THIS ALREADY. It's magical and winding, with all the descriptions so beautifully laid out that it's easy to lose yourself in Astoria's world.

The opening scene was lovely. It painted a picture of Astoria's past and showed us how she was ever searching for something bigger, how she didn't want to hold onto anything except that. I loved having her thought train described, because we could begin to see how she functioned, which is often harder to get a handle on - but with your Astoria, I already feel as though I've read a novel about her.

The scene with Hannah was also lovely, because you compared the two and how different yet similar they were, as well as showing us more about how Astoria handled herself with her peers. I liked the details about how the marking of time's passage (ie. clocks ticking) irk her.

Your flow is gorgeous, your characterisation brilliant, and I cannot wait to read more about this romance that Hannah has declared she is on a quest for!

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Review #14, by LittleWelshGirl99 three.

23rd September 2012:
there's something so refreshing about your writing. i think it's because nothing is ever quite what you expect it to be and that's pretty amazing because even with a purposefully random story you can at least predict that there will be randomness ahead. but this is just incredible; every line makes me gape in awe at the screen :P

"I never remember having seen a person with more hair than you" and "it was easy to imagine that you could be swept up into the air and turn maybe into a giant snowflake"

love those lines in particular :)

(you're very very welcome for the sotm nomination ♥)

Author's Response: I appreciate what you say here immensely. It's always the struggle, isn't it, to be--truly original? I see traces of the cliche in this writing, but I think it's because for me, this was a first real stab at some kind of romance and while I could base some of it off my own personality--the way Astoria processes things is largely me, here--I had to have other sort of plot points to hit. The bar maid being the mysterious and knowledgeable character is an archetype that I unwittingly adhered to, and just the setting of a bar, etc. It's not particularly creative in that way, but I think what you're sort of saying is that it seems--forgive me if this is totally overstepping and not what you mean at all--honest. Real, maybe. I did try to make this seem beautiful (so--thank you! :D), but more importantly, I wanted it to be an honest portrayal. I think when you really write anything earnestly and you're not thinking about--well, "art for art's sake" or things like that--the results can be that people like you like the stories so much :3

THanks again for a fab review!! It's so lovely to see these pop up ♥


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Review #15, by LittleWelshGirl99 two.

17th September 2012:
Ok. So. I'm going to apologise in advance for how awful my reviews will be for this story lily, but i just can't even /begin/ to think of words eloquent enough to describe how you've written this.

It's completely and utterly mind-bogglingly amazingly amazing.

homgosh the ending for this chapter! i'm in love.

Author's Response: haha don't worry about it, annon! i love your reviews--they express all that you want them to, I think. I'm unsure of whether this is /really/ that amazing, but nothing about literature is objective, so I am very happy that you're enjoying this. This was me determined to write a "love story" or a "romance" which I'd never done before.and which is quite questionable here, actually. But as long as people are getting at least something out of it, then it was all worth it, because I loved writing it myself :) So I can't accept your apology because really there's nothing to be sorry about, or apologize for!! Oh and thank you for the SoTM nomination, made my day ;)

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Review #16, by LittleWelshGirl99 one.

17th September 2012:
Ahmygod. This is absolutely...

-has literally no words-

Author's Response: ah!! it was so, so lovely to receive this--even no words is a pleasure to see! thanks so much, i'm very glad you're liking it so far!! also thanks for letting me know, i appreciate it :)

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Review #17, by peppersweet nine.

25th August 2012:
omg no I cannot cope with the end of this story

this

is

so

beautiful

Lifting her fingers before her eyes she ticked off these knowable things: one, that people are both the seed and the soil, that what comes out also goes in, in the same instant. Two, that boundaries exist only because that is how we feel most safe, but you can get beyond this conception that your body is only you, and you are nothing outside of it. Three, that you are everywhere and everything you have been and protecting the middle particle is at the detriment of appreciating the outside ones that change and grow and allow you things, like space, and air, and love. I MIGHT EMBROIDER THIS ON A PILLOW OKAY

so many feels

I want to put my face to the screen and absorb this fic by osmosis and let it soak deep into my brain forever and ever

you're very far from London you two yes just keep going and find a little cottage and settle down there and be happy 5eva

ugh just

just

I love you forever for writing this it was so beautiful and ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Author's Response: if you do, send me a picture that i can put on my CV thank ♥

this is the best review you've left me so far. THE MOST HEARTS I HAVE EVER RECEIVED ALL AT ONCE ♥ ♥

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥


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Review #18, by RosieQueen one.

4th August 2012:
It's Rosie from the blue vs bronze review battle! :)

Wow...this was an outstanding first chapter! The way you conveyed the emotion and detail was pretty much flawless! I love how you show Astoria as someone who feels kind of lost, just like many others must have been after the war.

I especially liked the second part of the chapter where Astoria is talking to the bartender. I think it cleared a few things up, like why Astoria was with Flitwick in the castle. And also, the bartender was Hannah, wasn't it? :P I guessed because it was mentioned in the sixth book that Hannah's mother died, and that we know Hannah becomes a bartender after the war.

And who says you're no good at romance! Judging by the way you write, I'm completely sure you write romance pretty well! (Must read chapter 2 now!)

This was a great start! :)

~Rosie

Author's Response: hi! thanks for stopping by :D

i'm glad you enjoyed this chapter; i understand my writing is not to everyone's taste, so i'm always glad to find another who appreciates :)

yes, it was hannah. as this is a longer piece i never felt the need to clear everything up in the first chapter, sorry if bits were confusing!

bah, well, thank you, but i'm still not entirely happy with how it turned out. vaguely pleased, and glad it's complete.

thanks so much!


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Review #19, by TenthWeasley three.

30th July 2012:
LILY. ♥ Did I not say that I would be returning to read this gem? And I must say, before I launch into the heart of this review, that your writing style is to-die-for gorgeous. And I say that now because I've spent the past two reviews expounding on it, and although it rings eternally true, I suspect a third ramble on that subject would not be especially appreciated. ONWARD.

I think that one of the hands-down best things about this story so far is its ability to make me think, because I've never come across a story (that I can recall) that has made me pause in the reading of it so much as this one. Everything Astoria thinks is so true (and again, I feel this is a problem with a bias in my direction), like her comments on maturity. I've never thought about it in those terms before, that some people have a kid inside them for very specific reasons, but I enjoy and entertain the idea. Perhaps the reason I'll never grow out of Harry Potter is the same -- that it fills something fairly essential inside of me. (Hee, how lameee.) Gah, I love pondering over that. I will continue to do so as I type.

And another thinking point that I loved and felt the need to point out, even though it was not even a full sentence: Astoria's comments on Draco's handsomeness. And why? Because she specifically drew a line between handsome and attractive, and those are words that have lost their differences in our society, I think. Because of course you don't necessarily have to be handsome to attract somebody, to be attractive, do you? Oh, you really are so, so intelligent, Lily. I'd completely lost the meanings of those words and just... ugh. Ugh in the best way possible.

And perhaps above all, I love this chapter because of how you write about Slytherins. It always kind of frustrated me in the last book how all the Slytherins got sent down to the dungeons, especially largely being a Slytherin myself. Yes, many of them had Death Eater/pureblood-fanatic ties, but it kind of hurt that JKR would reinforce this stereotype amongst many of her readers that Slytherins are evil. Astoria defies this completely, though -- she is ambitious, so ambitious, and that is her claim to being a Slytherin. Not a tattoo on her forearm, not a curl of the lip upon seeing a Mudblood. I honestly cannot thank you enough for putting that into this story. ♥ You don't have to be a horrid person to wear green and silver, nor do you have to be an admirable one to wear scarlet and gold. You prove right here that it takes all kinds. THANK YOU.

And now, as always, I must quote something back at you:

but nobody had ever said that love was a well-timed mechanism, ticking faithfully as a bomb towards detonation. -- I don't know why I love this so much, but I just copy/pasted it before I really knew what I was doing. You can turn a phrase literally better than anyone I've ever known. That's a beautiful sentence.

HOKAY. Now that I have completely garbled myself, I just want to reiterate again how much I am enjoying reading this story, as I enjoy reading all of your stories. I can't wait to see what you have in store for Draco and Astoria! Brilliant work! ♥

Author's Response: i appreciate any word issuing forth from your fingers :D

i think you may be giving me too much credit. it is more likely, in my humble opinion, that the source of your stopping to think might have to do more with my inability to clearly articulate what it is i truly mean. (i just went all wodehousian and i have no idea why but there you are.) at any rate, i appreciate your appreciation for the mental faculties ;) and i definitely understand what you say about HP. i feel the same :)

true, true. look at the budding philosopher! and i will simply try to accept your compliments as somehow apt, because i like them. there.

YES. that's a big point this story stems from. i have written at length about it in other review requests, but you've got it down, basically. i understand the danger was present, because overwhelmingly the wizards who went bad, as hagrid said, came from slytherin, and there's that annoying little saying that some person wrote who i can't remember because he's not really significant in any literary circle or in any way at all, to be frank: all's fair in love and war.

but the war lasts long after it ends, you know?

ermahgerd, the compliments just keep on coming! it's amazing that people like my writing. i'm always floored. i don't know if i ever believe it.

i'm so glad you're reviewing, too, and enjoying what you read. it means a lot to me to hear what you think ♥


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Review #20, by hdawg nine.

17th July 2012:
It's the last one :( but it's longer so I won't be as sad.

Oh Hannah is such a mother! And I love it. It makes me see the Slytherins in a new light - well not all of them - but you've made me realise that not all of them would have been so...evil, for want of a better word. A rubbish revelation, but you always seem to forget that the people you are reading about are just children, and that they are just as ignorant about some things as they should be, no matter how they act. And it makes me sad to think that simply because of the house they were put in, they weren't allowed to help even though, really, it was their home. It was their home that was being destroyed, and they wouldn't be human if they didn't want to help! Astoria and Draco may have been Slytherins and may have been on the side of evil, but it doesn't mean that they are evil. Why has it taken me so long to figure this out?! Thank you for helping me realise this.

And you've made me realise something else as well. I don't know why, but all the 'after the war' dystopian stories I've read in which people have clung to their families and their old way of life made me wonder why they did it. Why they couldn't just move on. But I must have been really stupid, because family is family; and the hardest thing about the war is realising that what was once safe and whole has been utterly undermined and destroyed. So I think Astoria is right to visit her family. She's had time to think and reassess what she wants with life, and it's time now - after six years - to maybe built up bridges that will allow them to be a family, if not a complete family unit.

Thank you for this wonderful story. And I also thank Julia for recommending it to me. It has been a brilliant experience to read something I never would have normally read before, but I feel like it's helped me to grow as a Harry Potter fan as I feel like I understand more about the 'other side' and what they were feeling.

You truly are a great author, Lily, I think that was proven a while ago. But I just wanted to remind you of how brilliant you are so that you never forget it. Never stop writing, and I will never stop reviewing and loving your work.

Lots of love, your friend,
Hannah

Author's Response: i am continually sad over the fact they got thrown out. i suppose it's because i wasn't there. the thought that there was one amongst them that could have killed more people is hard, but i'm allowed the luxury of a categorical position because of my distance, and i say no to it all. the known supporters of voldie, yeah, kick them out, but allow those who pledge to fight for your side stay! it's doubtful that many of them would--as you say yourself, they're children, and unlikely, especially the younger ones, to dissent their parents' opinions or beliefs.

and to be fair, it was a bit of a lose-lose situation, because it's not like they would have been less scarred if they'd been allowed to fight. it's just a different kind of scarring that they have now, which causes them to question more about their worth than about the state of the world, which has always seemed so sad to me.

she just needs contact with them again. a lot of how people /are/ to us depends on how we decide they are, and now she's had the chance to make a new decision about their place in her life, and they have another chance to take her back. i'm unsure of how it would turn out. the point of this is getting to the beginning of healing.

aw :3 it means so much to me that you enjoy reading my writing; you're such a perceptive, intelligent reader and you're so good at telling me what you thought about what i've written! the perfect reader, truly. and i'm so glad to hear you'll keep coming back, haha, i always worry that i'm so bipolar with my writing that it's hard for people to stay interested, but for your sake at least, and those other few who continue to stop by, i keep trying :D

thanks so much hannah!! I LOVE YOU AND YOUR REVIEWS ♥


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Review #21, by hdawg eight.

17th July 2012:
Is Draco back? I think Astoria might have been missing him. If he is back, well then, I'd better strap in for some more revelations and you'd better get ready for some of my awful dissections of your wonderful fic. I'm sorry.

"I'm a woman, you're a woman--no, I'm a woman, you're a man--" I have warmed to Astoria so much in this sentence. Maybe because I understand what she's saying and am thus imagining Draco in a dress from the Regency period...Maybe.

"Both of us--we're together, and we have a shared past, and were going the same places. Every second passing on that train I was still with you, do you understand?" Oh Draco, such a romantic... and the way you describe their kiss at the end is so apt. It's not soppy, it's not over emotional, but it's so simple and pure that it fits in so well with the story. Not dystopian, it's not as dystopian as it was before, more...reflective.

It's just...a wonderful feeling reading this. I am sad now that I am going onto the last chapter :(

Author's Response: DRACO IS BACK. thank god! also, i love your dissections, don't even apologise! i don't accept your apology!

I CRINGE AT THAT SENTENCE ;A; ughh. yuck. i don't do romance at all and this is why. everyone else makes it look so effortless and i LABORED over that sentence and it still isn't good creys

also, i would be pretty amazed at myself if i managed to create a dystopian kiss--i know you didn't mean that but i'm laughing myself into tears at the thought of what that would be like omg

thanks so much for your reviews you crazy dawg ♥


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Review #22, by hdawg seven.

17th July 2012:
They're growing up into such better people! I hope there is some more interaction between Astoria and Draco in this chapter, I missed it at the end of the last one. Although the description about them living close to each other and purposefully bumping into each other just to see each other made me happy :)

"It's not because he's gone but now that he is she can think about the way he put his hand or foot or at least a finger into the center of whatever was spinning and it stopped." I like this. I think it truly shows just how dependent on each other they have become. And finally Astoria is feeling something. Like before she felt...numb. But now, now that she knows Draco, and his effect on her and her life, she doesn't feel numb. She just feels lost. And if that isn't love, then I don't know what is ;)

Either Astoria is severely drunk, or I can't read. Because I just completely didn't understand a lot of her rambling paragraphs, haha. I hope you wrote it like that intentionally (and in which case, that was great, because now I am definitely disorientated), or I'd better go and take a paracetamol because my head is hurting after not understanding a word of what she said :(

I think...I don't know. I think Astoria is drunk so that she doesn't think about Draco as much, and therefore doesn't miss him as much? Or am I so confused that I am now making things up? ;)

Author's Response: it's difficult to write a story where it's a sad thing in itself for the lovers to separate; in fact, i expressly tried and failed, in my opinion, in my novella for janechel :P so it's strange for me to see that i succeeded in this case, where you were missing their interaction!! crazy stuff, man.

wooo, love! that's more than i tried for but i guess that's there and i'm glad :D

astoria is severely drunk, so much so that she's put up in the leaky overnight so she doesn't splinch herself beyond repair apparating home. i definitely wrote it that way on purpose :P it'd been months since the last update and my writing had changed a lot, so this was a way of softening the transition, in my head. and i'm sorry a lot of it was unintelligible, but you've gotten the main points--that they're growing, and moving, and astoria has finally admitted to herself that she feels something.

i think that to astoria draco is so much involved in who she's learned she is that she doesn't need to think of him in terms of his name to be thinking about him. she realized he's in the center of what she is, and her others thoughts are moving outward from there, so he's sort of at the center of all her thoughts.

congrats on getting through this chapter, phew :P


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Review #23, by hdawg six.

17th July 2012:
They're getting closer! This is such a lovely-paced fic, as I have already said, but it truly is. You don't want it to be too fast because then it isn't believable, but this is just right.

And Astoria is moving up in the world! Draco really is having a significant influence on her, isn't he? But, as I said before, not too fast. And I like that.

"Draco was much more loving, easier to smile, first to take a guess. It was nothing like she should have thought knowing him only from Hogwarts..." He really has changed. Your descriptions of him and their kind of love is spot on. Knowing that they both need each other to grow as people means that their love is going to be much stronger than if they had simply 'gotten together' to get over what happened.

Astoria's friendship with Hannah is so lovely to read. All the barriers about class etc have finally come down from the war, and friendships can now truly be built in its wake. I never thought I'd hear a Slytherin say she was envious of a Hufflepuff, but then again, the war and all that means that others must have felt the same too.

Lily, this is lovely to read and feel these things. It's like I'm reading about real people and I know I will be sad when I finish this and I fully realise that this didn't happen :(

Author's Response: i can't tell you for certain whether or not the pacing was due to me being respectful of the traumatic pasts of our hero and heroine or whether it wasn't me still attempting to summon a muse about me for the romance. i had put my foot down after a time with my timorousness and decided that seven was the ~magical~ chapter, and in many ways, it was, but...well, you know how that turned out, ahem.

i sometimes can't tell where sentences came from at all, and that happens to be one of them. i don't know what concocted history i had in my brain for draco but if you're going to leave home i assume you've got a bit of an adventurer in you, and that somehow seems to fit with that good nature. i wasn't necessarily holding off from "getting together" because i wanted their relationship to be deeper, but i think it had to happen that way, because they're both still frayed at the edges, and it seemed a much more powerful and meaningful relationship to not entirely neglect the romantic individual needs but also to address the more pressing needs, which i imagine would be to feel wanted and appreciated and free.

i never thought about hannah as a hufflepuff and astoria as a slytherin when i wrote their interaction, though it's true that's something a bit extraordinary for a proud slytherin to say :D they were just people trying to help each other in one case and trying to learn from each other in the other. though you can't deny the house affiliations, since that's such a huge part of their lives.

well, it happened in my head, and why should that mean that it wasn't real? ;)


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Review #24, by hdawg five.

17th July 2012:
This is so deep and emotional, and I can't wait for Astoria to open up more to Draco. He is...so different from how he was before the war, and I like it. He's more human, even though he looks less of one.

Wowzers, Draco's past is...haunted. More haunted than I could possibly have imagined. And the revelation about how the money he got from his parents was a strange way of showing love and affection is startling to me, and yet it shouldn't be. Because he never did seem very loving towards his parents, and yet he never left them. It's like an interdependent cycle that neither can break from, because he needs them, and they want to protect him, so they really both rely on one thing - money. I think that's what you were trying to bring across to me anyway. Well I hope it was, otherwise I've completely read it wrong!

"It was rough, calloused, and still warm." I think that describes Draco and Astoria perfectly. They've been through the wars, they were brought up to be cold and unfeeling, and yet what they have seen and what they have experienced together has made them better people. Broken, but better in a strange way.

I am liking this very much. I thought you ought to know, although I'm sure you can probably tell from the way in which I am delving into your writing. This is wonderful.

Author's Response: all humans are made of soft metals and diamonds, didn't you know?

this may seem a daft thing to say, but obviously there are all different kinds of displaying affection, and i think draco's way of doing that would have been to stay with his parents even when he wasn't sure he approved of what they were doing or even if he felt victimized by them. of course, this is budging up on dangerous territory, because it could look like the sort of syndrome children of abusive parents get, where they're unwilling to disagree, but in the books we can see how draco wavers, which adds another element to his loyalty. and money has always been the tether, i think. i don't know if it's fair to say this, but i'm not sure all the different kinds of loving can be classified on a scale of better to worse, you know? just different.

in a way, cracking the ice is more healthy than leaving it whole--if you allow me to indulge in metaphor. while they were with their families they were safe because they could ignore how "bad" things had become, but once they left it wasn't as easy, or even possible in these two's case.

you seriously understand everything and more that i ever could have hoped someone would get out of this. your reviews have been sort of the reward for all the puffy eyes i suffered over writing this fic at three a.m. ♥


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Review #25, by hdawg four.

17th July 2012:
They've finally started talking! I wonder what they'l actually say. I've kind of become used to Astoria's wonderful narrative voice, she's so perceptive.

"She wanted to say we're running from something and that running is making us like what we're leaving behind because we're not leaving anything." I think this is my favourite line of the chapter so far. It's just so deep. I don't understand how you can be so wonderfully perceptive about this, it truly is a great experience for a reader to be able to understand characters much more, especially those who had little/no development, or those with whom you had little sympathy for before. I think I'm rambling, but it's hard to put what I'm thinking into words (although I'm sure you'd be able to do it, you literary beast ;))

Hannah is great (complimenting myself now ;)). And obviously we know what she's thinking, but Astoria has been downtrodden for the whole of her life by her family, by the Dark Lord, and then by those on the winning side because of her family and their affiliation with Voldemort that she can't see the good things. But we can!

Oh and Draco's smile! But although that was lovely to read about, the ending sentence really got me: "it was easy to imagine that they too were only a heartbeat apart in space." It's love! I'm sure it is!

Gosh Lily, you are putting me to shame here with your wonderful writing prowess. Maybe I should try and step it up a bit just to be worthy of knowing you, haha ;)

Author's Response: basically, the point of this fic was to provide a creative outlet for myself at a time where i was being expressly told what to and what not to do with fic, so at a time where people were telling me all about how to develop plot, i wanted to pursue what i really, really love, which is exploring characterization. so i'm glad that you're getting from it what i had put in, and probably more haha.

you have every right to compliment yourself, let's be real. and yes, we can, especially you :D

IT IS LURVE. SOMETHING COSMIC AND ELECTRIC. SHOCK ME LIKE AN ELECTRIC EEL, WOOO~

erm no, have you forgotten how much you made me flail with your dramione? I NEVER EVEN SHIPPED THAT SHIP UNTIL YOU OKAY. ♥


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