He there! The Black sisters are a relationship that always interested me, so I'm really happy to have found this!
This is a short beginning, but you get so much characterizations in this small bit. Andromeda isn't the young woman that will on day sever ties with her family for love, but it's easy to see that she has enough bravery to do so. Though currently she's just a young girl who believes her sister's words are nothing but sincerity.
Bellatrix. Always the leader. She fits the role of older sister here perfectly, and it isn't hard to imagine the path she'll eventually take. She knows no fear, and isn't concerned about mundane things like the possibility of her very young sister hurting herself. When she gives orders the other sisters listen, and it makes you wonder just how obsessed she must've been with Voldemort to bend so easily to his will.
And our littlest princess. I thinks four year old Narcissa would be adorable, haha. I like that you've made her deficient, because at that she they all are. She doesn't understand the real world yet, and she tried to enforce her mother's rule about the tree. I really loved that. And thought it was just as fitting that her older sister would be able to talk her into doing what she wanted.
This is a really awesome first installment, I'm excited to see where you take these characters!!
& hearts; Jami Report Review
i really like this! its sort of weird to think of the black sisters (especially bellatrix!!) as cute, happy, little children. i'm excited to see how you work in the whole bellatrix-becomes-an-evil-death-eater part! job well done!Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for reading! :) Report Review
Again, a nice look at the Black sisters when they were young. Here I had no trouble matching the chapter title to the text; in fact, I really liked the idea of Bellatrix and Andromeda having matching necklaces. I think it was a good motion, a good symbol, and cute that Andromeda gave Cissy a blue ribbon as well. It spoke a lot about Andromeda's character that she wanted to find a necklace worthy of Bellatrix; it shows how much awe she still has for her. As an older sibling myself, this was a nice insight into the mind of a younger sibling.
You did a good job describing what it was like to get on the train, and it was interesting to see again how the Black name seemed to hold so much prestige. People even respected Bellatrix at such a young age! There are so many possibilities for such a theme, it's really great.
I would like to see more things happening as the story moves forward. Since this is a collection of smaller stories, you don't need to set things up quite so much as you would a novel. Now that we've had two chapters of the younger girls, with fairly straightforward plots, I'd like to see some more exciting things. Maybe that's just my personal preference, I don't know. But one of the great things about collections of moments is that you can throw together a lot of exciting scenes without all the necessary filler in between, and that's definitely something you can take advantage of here. Obviously there are finer pacing details that I haven't gotten into, but what I'm saying is, I'm ready to be surprised. I'm ready for an insight, or a twist, or something exciting to keep pulling me inward.
I would also warn not to get too heavy on the "sisters" theme. It's pretty obvious that that's what you're going for here, so take care that you don't emphasize it too much or it will start to bang us over the heads. As long as you involve at least two of the three sisters in one chapter, or even just one while mentioning the others, we'll get the picture. ;)
Great start here, hope you keep updating! Happy holidays!Author's Response: I'm a younger sister myself, so connecting to that part of the dynamic is much easier for me. :) I do think that all younger sisters look up to their older siblings quite a bit.
Pacing's something that isn't always my strongest suit, so thank you for the advice! From here on out, I do have all of the chapters planned, and hopefully that will help move things along a bit, and that I'll be able to stick to the essentials instead of having to stick filler in.
Duly noted! :) The next few chapters will be focusing more on each of the individual girls (although the others will make appearances) so hopefully that will work.
Thank you so much! I'm trying to get back into the swing of writing this (and writing in general) so hopefully I can continue soon.
I think you've got a good start going here, for sure. Like with all stories about the three black sisters, it's good to establish a base first, where we can see them simply, as little girls, only shadows of what they'll become. As someone who has attempted similar things before, especially with Bellatrix and the occasional Andromeda, I know it's fun to try and find ways to inject their personalities into the frames of little girls.
I enjoyed Bella and Andys relationship in particular; they almost had a dance going, where one would say something and the other would contradict it, but they always settled into some sort of agreement. Andy definitely had a degree of power over the bossier Bella, which is an interesting dynamic I hope you enjoy further. At the same time, Bella convinced Andy to do some things during which I got the sense that Andy wouldn't have had the guts to initiate herself. Cissy was a smaller character, to me, as she was almost too small to see the Narcissa she'd one day become. But you did a good job with her as well, I liked the stubbornness.
I'd encourage you to play with these dynamics if you continue writing, adding to and layering them as the girls grow. If you're ever stuck in a scene, I'd bet that if you returned here, you could find several reminders of how you envisioned the girls from the get-go.
I also liked the two mentions of "because we're Blacks." That's a big idea that you can definitely stretch throughout the entire collection of stories, and a really interesting mindset to have. One might think that the reason Bellatrix was so insane later in life was because she believed she believed she was immune to even the most basic things, like pain, because of her heritage.
If you ever feel like working on this chapter, I think some more detail wouldn't be terrible. You described things nicely, but there were few things that leapt out at me. For instance, I thought the idea of faint pops indicating traveling house elves was really cool, and completely realistic. However, lush gardens and untamed forests are pretty expectable, if you know what I mean.
I'm also having some trouble connecting the chapter name to the chapter content. You mentioned creamy petals at the end, which looked like it was intended, but other than that, the chapter title didn't hold any meaning for me. If you were to say, for example, that creamy white is the color of innocence and the girls are innocent at this point in their lives, then I might see things better. Just a thought.
So, great start here! I'll be interested to see what you do with chapter two! Happy holidays!Author's Response: Writing the sisters as young girls was definitely an interesting challenge, but I do think that it is important, as you said, to establish a base. I think it is a bit easier for me to try and picture Bellatrix and Andromeda than Narcissa, especially as she was the youngest. I always pictured Bella and Andy being the closest of the three, though of course, we know that they eventually fall out.
My hope is that as I continue, I'll get a better sense of who they are and hopefully that will be shown in the story. :) They're definitely complex characters as are their relationships with each other, which is a bit daunting, but I do think it'll be fun to explore.
I think that Bellatrix probably did have a sense of entitlement that followed her throughout her life that stemmed from her family and her upbringing as a pureblood. I think she has does have a scary amount of confidence in pureblood superiority, and that probably did start with what she was taught when she was young.
I really would like to go back and edit this chapter because I know it could be better, so thank you so much for your suggestions - they're incredibly helpful! And thank you for leaving such a lovely and detailed review! Report Review
Aw, I can't believe I'm actually sort of feeling fuzzy for the Black sisters. It's really an accomplishment!
I loved your characterization of Bella, all authoritary, but somehow, still caring for her sisters. And little Cissy is so cute, I sort of felt bad for her.
I liked the descriptions, though they felt a bit wordy but I'm guessing that's because of nano? :P Anyway, this will probably be fixed when editing, and maybe adding some smells instead of every single action.
It wasn't too bothering anyway, and I could nicely picture them climbing the tree, helping each other like real siblings. But did I miss the time it was? I could see them making every step up the tree, but I couldn't tell what sort of light was peaking through the leaves, if you see what I mean?
I think it's got potential, and I'm curious to see your take on this complex bond you're creating :)
-Val Report Review
First off: if this is an unedited story, how do your edited ones look like? It's amazing! I can't begin to tell you how much I loved and enjoyed it. I don't know if it's just a coincidence but today I pondered writing a story about the Black sisters because I was sure no one ventured to do it. And here came your story! I am sure to review every single chapter.
I simply adore how you portrayed their relationship. So strong. It seems almost unbreakable. It makes it an even more bitter-sweet story knowing how their relationship will end up. Brothers and sisters should never fight. Should never turn their backs on each other. Should never kill each other if given the opportunity despite whatever conflict they may have.
The characters are very much in character (well except Andromeda who feels a bit like an OC since we don't know that much about her). Bella is as bossy as we see her as an adult, always praising their name and status. Cissy is simply adorable. A very lovely story this is!Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. There does seem to be a lack of stories about the Black sisters, so here's my attempt at trying to figure them out.
It does make it even more bittersweet knowing that eventually, they'll fall out- I completely agree with the idea that siblings shouldn't fight or turn their backs on each other. I think the relationships between siblings is something unique and special... hopefully that'll come through in the story. :)
Hopefully more of Andromeda's character will be seen soon! :) Thank you for such a nice review! Report Review
Hey! So you requested a review from me for this story awhile ago, and then I started neglecting my review thread. I'm here now, and I hope you can forgive me.
A couple mechanical notes first:
In the opening section (in italics), you phrase most of it with you/they, but the second sentence in the third paragraph uses "one" instead. I'd suggest changing it so that there's more consistency. Minor, but I thought I'd point it out. :) Other than that, I loved that opening segment - I think it set the mood well and was just a really lovely piece of prose.
I also thought that you overused their names a little in your dialogue. Usually, when people talk to each other, they use each other's names relatively sparingly. The little sequence at the beginning, before they go outside, is really where I thought that this was a bit of problem. Just cutting out a few of the name mentions there would have made it feel more natural. :)
Other than that, though, this was absolutely lovely! I know that you probably want CC, but there's not much I didn't like.
It can be difficult to properly portray children, especially several different children of different ages when they're just interacting with each other. You managed to pull it off with style. They were each completely believable, and I also felt like you managed to stay consistent with what kind of people they ultimately grow up to be without overdoing it.
Bellatrix in particular was perfect. I've often seen young Bellatrix written in a very one-dimensional way - she ends up being portrayed as ruthless and even a little bit evil. You've depicted Bellatrix as headstrong, confident, and even a bit arrogant, and I can easily see how that gradually turned into bloodthirsty and unstable. Right here, however, she's just a know-it-all older sister, and I even found her kind of cute.
That's not to say that the other two weren't well-done, too, because they absolutely were! Narcissa was excellent, and you really hammered in her role as the youngest sister. I can see how that could have affected her personality, and I think it makes a lot of sense given what we see of her in canon. She really was a bit of a follower, wasn't she?
The only thing I think you could have expanded on a bit was Andromeda. I did get the sense that she was more supportive and generally a bit less daring than Bellatrix, but I felt like a lot of her personality traits were defined by her being the middle ground between her sisters and being less extreme than either in general. That works in general, but I did want to see a little more to distinguish her from her sisters - right now I feel like her character is built more around what she isn't than what she is.
On the whole, though, this is a really lovely piece, and I'm glad you requested. I'm sorry again that it's taken me so long to get this review to you!Author's Response: Quite all right! Thank you very much for leaving such a helpful review! :)
I am planning to edit this at some point in the future, so mechanical notes are very much appreciated. Writing dialogue is something that I struggle with and am hoping to improve. I'll definitely try and work on that and use it in the future chapters!
I was sort of terrified to try writing children. o.o So I'm really glad that it seemed to work, haha! Bellatrix was probably the hardest, because I wanted to show how she could end up being the way she did (if that makes sense) but at the same time, I really /didn't/ want to show her in that one-dimensional way.
Hopefully Andromeda's character will become more defined as the story continues - I have to admit I'm still working out the details to how I want to depict her. (oops!)
Thank you so much for the review - it was incredibly helpful! ♥ I really appreciate it. Report Review
It's Rosie from the Blue vs. Bronze review battle! :)
That was amazing! I usually don't read much about the Black sisters, but this one was especially well done! I loved the descriptions, and the way you portrayed Bella. I find it really strange to read about her because of the way she turns out when she's an adult, but at the same time, it was realistic. Nobody's evil as a child. I noticed how Andy would go along with everything Bella did, I thought it was just cute. :D Very few punctuation/grammar/spelling mistakes, which is wonderful, I can barely make any critiques. I love your writing style, too! I will definitely read the next chapters! :)
~RosieAuthor's Response: Thank you! I know, it did feel sort of weird trying to write her as a child - I mean, she's Bellatrix. But like you said, nobody's evil as a child, so I wanted to show that. Thank you so much for such a lovely review- I really appreciate it! :) Report Review
This was a fantastic update (and I'm sorry I took so long to come review it). I loved getting to see how Andy had matured and grown-up, how she still looked up to Bella and being able to see her emotions when Bella was leaving, it was really sweet. I love that they exchanged necklaces as a promise, something to tie them together (and again later with Cissy, when Andy ties the blue ribbon in her hair) - it's very reminiscent of the chapter chapter with the daisy chains linking them together. :)
The contrast between the Bella at home and Bellatrix was very nicely done, and it's nice that Andy doesn't feel shafted in anyway by Bellatrix's words or actions; she just knows it's what is expected of her.
I'm really interested to see where you take this story, how these little girls that you write so well turn into the women that we know from the series. I'm especially interested to see how you depict that break in their bond when Andy marries Ted - it seems impossible here for anything to come between their sisterhood ties, but I know you can pull it off.
I'll keep my eye out for your next update! :)Author's Response: Thank you for coming to review it! :) I'm glad you liked that - it is a bit reminiscent of the first chapter.
I suppose Bellatrix is hardly the only person to change who she is at school versus at home! A need to be something else, I guess :) Andy does understand that.
I'm really excited to get to that part - it's a little daunting (especially because I don't want to have to break them apart!) but hopefully I'll be able to do it. Thank you so much for the review! Report Review
I shall feed your review box like you fed mine ;)
I really like the progression you showed in this. Andy's progression from child to eleven year old was done really well, and I loved her emotions when Bella was leaving. The part with the necklace especially was gorgeous. I love how sisterly that was, and it makes it so painful to know what happened to the 2 sisters later in life. Cissy was adorable as well.
I think you've also managed to express the life of the Blacks in general perfectly. It's fresh and interesting from a lot of stories I've read about them, especially concerning their relationship. But I don't think Bella and Andy would be at odds. It makes more sense that Andy's morals would begin to change once she got to Hogwarts.
Another lovely chapter. Update soon, yeah? :)
-NaidaAuthor's Response: Review boxes happy all around!
I'm glad it seemed to make sense! It's sort of a big jump to make, so I was hoping that it wouldn't seem too awkward. I'm not really looking forward to having to write their falling-out, to be honest. :P -hides-
(maybe I'll just make this an AU where everyone lives happily ever after?)
I just can't quite see them /never/ getting along at all. I think they were a complicated group of people, which makes it terribly interesting to write :D
(now I really am tempted to make this AU and have them be happy forevers)
Thank you very much for the lovely review! ♥ I shall do my best. Report Review
Oooh, I really like it. I've not read much about the Black sisters and I like your y'know, whole writing style thing. I can't wait to see it finished, 13 chapters and all! :)Author's Response: Thank you very much :) I'm a little nervous to attempt to finish it all, but I'm determined! Thank you for reviewing! Report Review
Wow, Hannah, this is absolutely lovely. Your style has grown and matured so much since you first joined (I distinctly remember reading some of your first stories way back when) and this is absolutely incredible.
I don't usually pay a lot of attention to summaries, as I read 90% of stories because of links off the forums, but your summary for this is really what drew me in. It was so lovely and artistic and /poetic/ and hng just amazing in every way. I also love plots like this one. There's so much potential with the Black sisters yet very few write about them, at least not in detail.
This chapter in itself was also great. I personally find it incredibly difficult to write children, because it's hard to get into their minds, but you've done that perfectly here. You managed to capture the mentality of a child so perfectly. The feeling that you're immortal, like nothing can hurt you, all of that was portrayed so well in the tree. You can see Bella already start to be proud, which I also like, and the relationship between the sisters is so sweet, that I can hardly bare to know that it will fall apart in the future.
It really was an incredible chapter.
-NaidaAuthor's Response: Thank you so much, Naida! That means a lot to me. ♥
I can't quite remember which came first, the summary or the plot - they sort of became tangled up in each other but I thought that it would be fun to play off of their last name so... there you go!
Glad to hear I didn't totally mess it up! :P aha I did my best to channel my inner child. (sadly, I think it was a little too easy... I'm not known for being particularly mature)
Thank you for such a lovely review! :) Report Review
Hi, Hannah! I'm here with a rather tardy QTR review for you. :3
I was so, so pleased to see you had updated this story! I so enjoyed the first chapter when I read it a few months back, and the fact that you'd posted a second made me ridiculously excited. You characterize the Black sisters so well, and although they're children, it's very easy for me to glimpse the characters they become. Proud, conscious Bellatrix melds with clear-thinking Andromeda so well that it's difficult to see, apart from knowing about Ted Tonks, what might have ever forced them apart. But that's great, because in canon, you wouldn't ever pair them together. I just cannot get over how realistic every single one of your characters is, in everything I read of yours!
I'm so excited to see what you've got planned out for us -- how you'll bring these girls into the women we know from canon. I think I'm most anxious to know how you'll handle Andromeda's necessary break from her always-pure sisters, because I just cannot imagine it with how /magical/ Andy is here. I know you'll do it justice. :D You really do make them seem like sisters, not three characters linked by surnames they all end up shedding, anyway. There's that familial similarity there that links siblings in ways that you almost have to know firsthand to be aware of. :3
Love this chapter, Hannah, as always -- and I'll be watching for further updates! You write so well, and the Black sisters are not easy characters by any means, but yours are so natural as to seem effortless. ♥ Looking out for chapter three, and excellent job!Author's Response: Thank you! I'm really glad the characterization seemed to work out, because that's definitely one of the things I'm most worried about. Especially Bellatrix - she's a bit intimidating, haha! But it's a fun challenge. :)
I did - for once! - plan this out, so hopefully that will help me show the change naturally, because I do hope that I'll be able to explain how they end up falling out in the end. That's always been one of my favorite things about their story - trying to figure out how they went from being sisters to strangers.
Which is also why I wanted to show that they were linked more than just their surname - they were sisters first and foremost.
Thank you so much for such a lovely review! ♥ I hope to finish ch 3 soon. :)
Another good chapter!
I can see Bellatrix as haughty, but not yet the slightly crazed woman we know she will become. Andromeda clearly cares so much for her sisters. I think her character especially is very realistic.
I like each section, but I wish they were each a bit longer. While they get the point across well, they end too soon.
I really like this story. I'm glad I found it :) Please update soon!Author's Response: Bellatrix is definitely the hardest for me to write and get into the head of. I'm hoping to show her change slowly, but we'll see how well that works out for me. :) I am glad you like Andromeda, that means a lot!
Hopefully some of the next chapters will be a bit longer then! Their length does sort of fluctuate depending on the amount I have planned for them.
Thank you very much - and I'm in the middle of writing ch 3, so hopefully that'll be up soon! Report Review
I love the way you showed the Black girls as young children. I've never seen one like this before. I can picture them all acting just like that as little kids. Bellatrix is adventerous and in charge, Narcissa doesn't want to be left behind, and Andromeda is like a little mother, looking out for them.
I like that you showed their relationship as children and didn't forget that even crazy violent Bellatrix was once a cute little kid.
This chapter is very cute. I'm interested to see how the girls grow up. I must read more :)Author's Response: Thanks! I thought I really needed to start with them as children to get to the point where I want to end - if that makes any sense at all, haha. But I did try to have some of their personalities show!
It is weird to think about, but even Bellatrix was once a child too. :)
Thank you so much for the lovely review! Report Review
Hey! It's BeaJerry from the Ravenclaw forums ;3
I really enjoyed this chapter! There aren't enough Black sisters out there, and the one's I've read are all dark. This was really enjoyable to read, as it showed them in their youth, and also showed their personalities differently- Bella being the bossy, Percy-like? one, Cissy being the young toddler and Andy being, well, Tonks.
One thing- I always imagined Tonks to be the youngest? As she married the latest, she was described as being youthful, whereas Narcissa had a teenage son.
-Bea xoxoAuthor's Response: Thanks for the review! ♥ I'm glad you liked it. As for Andy - she's actually Andromeda, (Nymphadora) Tonks' mother. :) According to the HP lexicon, she's in between Narcissa and Bella. Thank you for the review! :) Report Review
I thought I had read this before, but obviously not. Like all of your writing, this is beautiful and a wonderful glimpse into these characters we don't get to see very often in canon.
I think my favorite part of this is when they're leaving the house as an unbreakable chain and then they make the daisy chain - I don't know, the repetition of something linking them together...it's really powerful.
I love your characterizations of each Black sister - Bella as the bossy, know-it-all older sister, Andy is slightly cautious but still curious and adventurous, and little Cissy who just wants to be included with her older sisters. The glimpses we get of their mother through the small details you included also reveals a lot about their upbringing and I really appreciated getting that without dragging it on into some long, boring expose of what it's like to grow up as a Black.
This was such a great little moment that I enjoyed reading. I hope you update soon and give us more glimpses into the lives of the Black girls as they grow up, to see the moments that shaped them into the women they were as adults. :)Author's Response: The lack of knowledge that we have about them was partially what prompted me to try and write this, to try and begin to understand the very, very complicated Black family. :P
I like having the idea of all of them linked and bound to each other when they're young... because as we know, the bonds are broken once they're older. :(
I did want them to reflect a bit who they would become, though obviously they're different as children - still, I think that the basics would be there.
Thank you! :) I'm actually really excited about this, because I recently replotted everything and I actually have a /plan/ this time! (kind of a big deal) The next chapter should be put in the queue shortly. Thank you for the review! ♥ Report Review
Going all the way back to the beginning with the Black sisters is such a bold thing to do. I know tonnes of writers that have written them as teenagers and young adults, but it is really rare to see them as children.
I thought you really captured their personalities (as far as they have been formed to this point anyway) well! Bella's fearlessness, Andromeda's kindness and willingness to break the rules, and Narcissa's tendency to be a follower -- they all come across quite nicely in this little scene.
Even more, I love that you wrote them as children because it made me start thinking about how their relationships must have changed as they got older and wonder if things maybe were different after the end of the war? Anyway, I really love the angle you're coming from with this and it'll be interesting to see where it goes!
AnnieAuthor's Response: I confess that I was nervous about writing them as children, but I thought it was necessary for the story to go where I wanted it to... so I tried it out!
I wanted to reflect a bit who they would grow up to be, but still show that they were children. I firmly believe that even Bellatrix wasn't evil as a child. :P
The idea of their relationships and how it changed over the years was partially what inspired this, and this is my attempt to begin to scratch the surface of a rather complicated family. Thank you very much for the review! :) Report Review
You should never stop writing about the Black family. :) I ADORED your Sirius and Regulus one-shot, and when I saw you'd posted last in the battle thread, I rushed over here before someone could post ahead of me, because I've had my eye on this for a while now. And I wasn't the least bit disappointed -- you are truly a gifted writer.
I think you got the personalities of the Black sisters all really accurately, especially since they're children here, and that's not something that's a terribly easy thing to do. Even Narcissa, who had all of maybe ten lines, I can just /see/ as the Narcissa she grows up to be. I have a lot of admiration for that. And what's more, you seem to have incorporated the stereotypical big-sister, middle-sister, little-sister personalities, as well. I don't know if it was intentional, but I enjoyed reading it. I have two sisters and only two sisters, as shown here, and it was so easy to relate to.
Your imagery continues to be lovely and beautiful, as always. :3 For something you claim is unedited, this is written EXTREMELY well. My favorite line --
"Let's make a daisy chain," Andy said, and they spent their afternoon pulling up the flowers that grew at the edge of the forest, admiring the cool touch of the creamy petals on their hands, tying their stems together.
There is just something so peaceful and serene and lovely and calming about that sentence. It's beautiful. I will be watching for updates I can review for you, because I'm really excited to see where you take the three! Excellent job, I cannot say it enough. :)Author's Response: Thank you! I very much enjoy writing about them. ^-^
I admit I was a little nervous about writing them at this age, because while I wanted them to reflect who they would be, I didn't want them to be exactly the same... does that make sense? haha
but I am a younger sister myself, so I'm not surprised that that came through, heh! :) I actually only have one older sister, but I'm well aware of what it's like to be the youngest, so their interactions were sort of based off of my own knowledge.
Thank you very much for the review - it means a lot to me! :) I'm excited to see where these three take me myself. Report Review
Okay recently I've become facinated by the whole Black sister dynamic, honestly - they're such inherently facinating characters. And you managed to pinpoint exactly whats so interesting about them in your first paragraph.
You're so good at creating bits of poetic-profound bits of pros and weaving them into your stories - and really, its beautiful and you should be really proud of that. Throughout all your stories theres always lines that take my breath away and make me just want to sit and think about them for a long time.
There are some things that are meant to be unbreakable.
That is such a wonderful way to start a chapter and I loved loved love loved it. I loved the characterisation of the Black sisters too - with them working together and playing together. Thoes bits weren't quite as beautiful and stunning as the beginnning bit (and to often how your writing is - because really, you're very talented) and obviously they didn't have to be because they were the main section but, hmm... I guess what I'm trying to say here is that I thought it was really good, but that YOU could have made some of it better as you're talented enough to do so. I'm probably not making any sense here. Maybe its just cause I'm tired and therefore words don't feel as smooth when I read them at half tweleve but... well yeah.
You're characterisation was excellent and I don't think I could find a typo or whatever if I tried. I love the whole concept too, of the Black sisters, and I'm so glad that more people are beginning to write about them. I definately want to read more, so I'm adding it to my favourites.
Goodness, this wound up quite long...
-ACAuthor's Response: I've recently fallen in love with the Black family, I think! So wonderfully complicated...
ack. Thank you. :) That means a lot to me. eep
The beginning definitely was a bit more poetical and different from the rest. I think I get what you're say (and hah, I totally understand what you mean about half twelve... almost midnight here!) I do plan on editing this at some point, so maybe I can work on that then :)
I definitely do love writing about them and I've really been enjoying what I've been writing for this so far. So thank you very much for the review! ♥ Report Review
I was reading this cute story with this silly grin on my face. :P It was so sweet! And in a way, quite chilly too, if you think about it. Mind boggling, isn't it? How they grow up to be so different. Especially Bella- I cannot imagine her as Bellatrix after this. Despite that, the personalities were very realistic and believable. I loved how you portrayed Bella as a little bossy and confident. And her rebellion! How can I forget that? Even though it's really subtle- I mean she only goes to the edge of the forest, but still. It actually suits her.
And Cissy- you can really see how young she is through her naivety and wanting to believe everything her elder sisters tell her.
The beginning as well as the ending were simply beautiful. It tugged at my heart, really. You write really well! Very naturally. :)
In short, I loved this. :)
PS-I used to make flower chins when I was young too! :PAuthor's Response: It is weird to think about, isn't it? Bellatrix was once a child too. Hopefully over the course of the story I'll be able to convince you how she ended up growing up to be who she was, haha :) But I'm glad you liked Bella! She was sort of daunting to write, but I think I'm pretty happy with how she turned out.
Thank you very much for the review! :) I'm glad you liked it.
(And yay! I used to make flower chains when I was little as well.) Report Review
I really loved the premise of this story. It is amazing to sit down and consider that the black sisters were children once, before there was death eaters and stigmas and societal implications for them to live with. I love the style and feel it was executed fairly well. I think as you write it, the voice of this piece will grow and become very distinct and lovely. There were a few small things I'd consider changing in the way of editing, but instead of marring up this review with all that, I'll just shoot you a PM.
All in all, I was sad that the second chapter wasn't posted, because I'd definitely have continued reading onward.Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for reviewing, and for the PM - it was really helpful!
It's an idea that I find really interesting, because no one was born evil. Even Bellatrix was a child once, after all.
I am working on the voice and the style of this and hopefully it will grow as I keep going! I'm still experimenting, so it's good to know what works and what doesn't as much.
The second chapter has been written and is being edited - I put it aside for November, but I'm working on it now. Thank you very much for the review! :) Report Review
Aw Ilike this story.
I don't read many stories about the black sisters but this one was exceptional with both of the older black sisters staying in their respective roles. Bella the bossy on e with Andy as the more caring one.
I'm interested to see what you do with the rest of the story :D
GinevraMollyPotterAuthor's Response: Thank you for the review!
I imagined that the sisters would be similar to who they were when they grew up, but not identical. So Bella isn't a crazy lunatic yet, but she definitely is bossy.
Thank you! :) Report Review
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