This review comes in three parts:
1.) congrats on getting married and your new job and all the wonderful things happening in your life at the moment.
2.) thank you for updating. you are honestly one of my favorite writers and it's not just your style or plots or anything, it's the wonderful way you portray Percy, especially in a story like this. I hate all the stories that make him (and Audrey) out to be annoying and stuck up and just... ugh.
3.) HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO ME. THIS CHAPTER. I'M CURRENTLY SITTING IN THE SAME ROOM WITH MY GRANDMOTHER AND I HAD TO KEEP MY EMOTIONS IN CHECK. ugh. /unappreciated. (lol. no. I loved it. keep doing what you're doing.) Report Review
This chapter was heartbreaking, the reactions to Fred's death were written so well though, a million props for that. It just seemed so realistic, I felt like I was back into the world of Hogwarts in a way that I normally don't feel except for when I'm reading the actual books. Amazing job, I cannot wait for the final chapter of this, it has to be the best thing I've read in quite some time. Report Review
I actually felt rather bad for Percy in this chapter because it seems like all he really wants is to go back home, but obviously he can't do that. And I know that it probably looks bad, but being able to sit by and watch all that without saying anything does take a certain type of person. Also, I was super proud that Percy has started to do some snooping! He really does mean well, and that action showed it. Report Review
I am in complete love with this story after just reading one chapter. There are NEVER any stories about Percy, and certainly none that ever try to explore the reasons behind his actions in the war. This fic seems so right, something that I find hard to find in most fics these days. It seems like something that would be out of the books, all the characters are just written so well so far! Report Review
this part made me cry.
It only seemed right to say something. But Percy didn’t know any prayers for the departed, having never had to use them before. So he said the only one that popped into his mind, which he still remembered by heart, despite a sore lack of use.
“Hail Mary, full of grace…”
He got halfway through it and suddenly found it difficult to get the words out. He forced one word at a time in between sobs and deep breaths.
“…Pray for - for - for us - ” And then his voice didn’t work anymore.
“Pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death, amen,” finished a low, tense voice behind him.
this is so damn depressing but you're a fantastic writer, as you've no doubt been told. would love to see that fourth chapter up :) Report Review
oh my goodness that had me bawling like a baby. and then i started thinking about what it would be like if my sister died and the floodgates just opened. so basically what i'm trying to say is that this is incredibly awesome. i mean, i cry at a lot of things, but not usually this much. jeesh, i'm kinda a mess still no? enought with the rambling; i really liked this story and update soon! Report Review
This was amazing! The religion parts put me off a bit, but that's just atheist me. Other than that I loved it! :) Report Review
I love the way you connect everything! Aberforth, Penelope, Percy. The way Percy acts and the way you get inside his head is just so...so...so Percy. You are giving me so much insight to his character that it almost feels like this ishis story. I feel like it's a part of canon that JK just couldn't fit in.Author's Response: I really try to stay as canon as possible (even when I do stories with non-canon pairings or situations, it's very important to me to stay true to the characters), so your review is very high praise! Thank you! Report Review
It seemed he had made the unfortunate choice of building his house upon sand
^ That was my favorite line.
Religion? Yes, please. More. I have become increasingly interested in Wizards and Religion. Were they religious? What do people think? I wrote a Percy/Molly II one-shot that was focused on religion and ever since then...well, this is the perfect story for me.
I adore Percy. I don't think he's given enough credit. No one thinks of the struggle he had to go to. He was determined to make a name for himself and he believed in the Ministry so strongly until it crumbled and he saw it for what everyone else did. He came back to help his family just in time. He wasn't a coward. He wasn't dumb. He was just misguided.
This is a really wonderful, well written story. I'm so glad it's on the 'featured stories' this month because I never would have come across it.Author's Response: Thank you so much - I really wasn't sure what kind of reaction I'd get to this story, because a lot of people believe so firmly that conventional religion just doesn't exist in the wizarding world, and while I'm definitely not arguing that the Weasleys absolutely are religious in canon, I have interpreted them that way, at least for the purpose of this story.
I felt that Percy's story was just begging to be told with references to religion, him being the prodigal son and all, AND especially considering his middle name. Ignatius? Hello. Famous Catholic saint. Combine that with a story about seeking forgiveness and redemption, and I realized there was a very rich area to be explored here.
Percy is one of my favorite characters, and he's become my favorite character to write. I think he's misunderstood and not treated fairly. I think nobody ever bothers to look at what made him tick the way he did in the books.
Thank you again for reading this, and for your thoughts! Report Review
It was amazing!
I loved how much Percy has changed from the last chapter, he really stepped up and showed that his family was more important to him then anyone else. They fact that he would risk his life just to know whether his sister was safe really is a special thing to have.
I also love the lines 'You’ve made it fairly clear by coming here that you don’t have much to lose anymore.”
“But he does!” snapped Percy. Could Aberforth not see that, or was he just being purposefully instigative? “They all do!”' that in the end, even when he wants to get out. To go home he doesn't not because of Pride, because he want's to keep his family safe and sound, well as sound as they can be as traitors.
I also liked Aberforth in this, he is just as stubborn here as he is in the books, and just as caring when he 'tests' to see if you are actually worthy of such information and also trust worthy. He really is a caring guy, even if it's impossible to see.
I really do love this story, it just has something, I can't think of what, that gives it that little bit extra. Makes it a really enjoyable read. I think it has to do with the under represented character and your writing techniques that make it such a good read.
I look forward to reading your other stories late. :) Report Review
I love under appreciated Characters.
Percy during the war was never discussed in the books so it is really something to see a story about him just after the ministry falls. I have always wondered what he was thinking at the time, to save him self, if he didn't care about his family, whether he was fine with all the terrible things the Death Eaters were doing.
I liked you portrayal of him, how he did care and how it made him sick to see the muggles on the fountain. To me it meant that he was still a Weasley and a good man at heart, he was just to far in to get out safely and share his real opinions. Especially with him being a suspect to knowing the whereabouts of Potter.
You really got Percy to a tee, well how he seemed to me in the first book, I like to believe that he didn't really change, he always seemed like the kind of person to put his career first, but you really showed that he also cared deeply for his family.
Your writing is lovely and flows well, it also has a lot of imagery in it without making it over excessive and slow.
I am looking forward to reading the next chapter of this fanfiction.
Keep up the good work. Report Review
You are so creative. And awesome. I heart you and your writing. Report Review
I love you for the religion theme. I hate Merlin=God in fanfic, it's a pet peeve of mine. It's not actually accurate to canon, either, and I really liked this version. You did great with Percy, as always. Report Review
Your characterizations are so perfect, they're practically canon. Percy and Aberforth were both done so well!
I love watching Percy change. It's slow - he doesn't exactly run home at once. But he's coming to the conclusion that he needs to get out.
I liked the relationship between Percy and Aberforth. At the end, when Aberforth offers some information on how Ginny's doing... I thought that was sweet. :) And both are right in some ways; it's seemingly simple to just get up and leave, but in reality, I think it's probably much harder.
"Pride's a hell of a sin, boy." I really loved this quote. ^-^
Wonderful job. I love this story and how neatly it fits into canon, and how you're taking a look at poor unloved Percy. You've done a fabulous job! Report Review
Percy is perfect and your characterization of Aberforth is so scarily like Jo's, I'm beginning to think that you're actually her and not the Melanie I know and love.
Seriously, though, this was really great! I'm looking forward to the conclusion of the story, even though we all sort of know how it ends already, I'm still interested in hearing it from Percy's perspective of which there isn't much on HPFF.
This fic is a breath of much needed fresh air. Good job, Melanie! Report Review
I've said it before and I'll say it again - no writes Percy Weasley quite like you do, Melanie.
There was a very simplistic quality to the writing, but it only helped to further the impact. The tension and the terror were so present, I found myself sitting on edge when Yaxley was talking to Percy.
I think it's rather cool that you've decided to bring religion into the picture. As you said, it is a controversial issue, but I've always thought that a decent majority of wizards believe in and prayed to the same God that Muggles do.
All in all, this is stunning, but that's to be expected when it's written by the likes of you! Report Review
Haha I love Aberforth. It was so lovely to see Percy go and see him. I was wondering what you were going to do with him once I saw his name in that file.
I'm still rather intrigued to see how this all turns out. Percy isn't one of my favourite characters, but he does all right for himself here. He has his redeeming qualities.
I really like this fic. Can't wait for more :D Report Review
This is wonderful! I haven't really read any stories taking place during the war, inside the Ministry, and from Percy's point of view aswell. I love your Percy! Every other story about him I read, he is this really stuffy kind of person and you just make him so much more real! He's a real person with very real emotions and it shows in this.
Lovely quote at the beginning too. "Go forth and set the world on fire." It fits nicely.
Can't wait to read more. Report Review
i've always thought that his character had an interesting story to tell. i mean, there was clearly other, important, key, intense stuff going on while harry was out running amuck chasing horcruxes. the order of the phoenix (when percy first starts defecting from his family) has always been my favorite book because of all the politics behind it and as he wound himself deeper and deeper into that political knot, i've always wished we got more of that. so, bravo.
i think you got the interworkings of the ministry so down pat. for sure. nothing about it seems unnecessary or unbelievable or ridiculous. it was all very...canon, i guess. very well done. and percy, of course. you did a great job with, y'kno, his inner conflict while still keeping him the play along goody goody that he's always been. though, i must admit i would hate to be inside his head. right from the off, all that thinking and reasoning in the first couple paragraphs there! oh my god, i would be exhausted living in there! but again, completely true to his character and very well done.
as for the religion, well, i'm not going to sue you :P i don't have the money to sue you, but despite all the conflicts about it in potterverse, i like where you're going with it. i think it might partly be because i think percy is one of those characters that would do really well in the real world, y'know? his is one of those stories that could be applied to someone you might know. and with that aspect it's like you're pulling us that much closer to earth. bringing the story closer to our own lives. relatable. effective. good job :)
can't wait to read the rest!
-sunday ./. Report Review
Percy happens to be one of my favorite characters, because I think he's really interesting, and I've always wanted to read something about him during this time period. I liked how you likened him to the prodigal son - in fact, that was what I wrote my blog entry on for the house cup! :P heh. But it's quite fitting.
"Go forth and set the world on fire." That's a really beautiful quote there, and it's one that I really love. I think it fits really nicely, too. ^-^
Your Percy is perfectly characterized. He felt real. He was ashamed of what he was doing, but at the same time, felt trapped. Yet he missed the Weasleys, and you could tell that, and I was glad about that.
"...he had made the unfortunate choice of building his house upon sand..." I just really enjoyed the imagery in this. "'Better benefits, sir?' was the dry response Percy wanted to give" just made me laugh. :D Heh. He's not completely humorless after all! :P
I think you handled the issue of religion tactfully and very well overall. You weren't forcing it down anyone's throat: it was just one character's wondering and thinking. I could see how Percy might want to find some sort of comfort in his life, and religion might be a way that he could find that. I also like the tie-in with his middle name! :) I had to do a project on St. Ignatius back in elementary school, haha.
A great job! This was really compelling to read and I'm very excited to read the rest. Wonderful work! :) Report Review
Hello Melanie! ♥
This was a brilliant first chapter. I've never pondered about Percy during this time, and now I'm shocked I didn't. It's such an interesting idea, and very different, perhaps difficult to get right but you definately have. I feel like Percy's emotions came across so well, and you've built up this strange world brilliantly - there is a sense of fear, and loneliness, and it's dark, which makes it all very gripping. Percy's characterization is brilliant, perhaps he doesn't have the same heroic/bordering on stupid thing going for him as Harry, but he certainly isn't boring. Heh, I don't know how to convey what I mean but your Percy is perfect - he's smart, sharp and you've shown that when he wants to be, he's kind of a badass too.
Umbridge's characterization was also perfect, and the whole atmosphere of this was just chilling - I really felt Percy's repulsion of himself and also his fear in that courtroom, and his loneliness.
This line was my favourite: So he tried to avoid it, the way he tried to avoid thinking about what his mother might be cooking for dinner that night, or how his sister was doing at school, or just trying to remember what it felt like to not be so alone and utterly lost.
So beautiful and made him feel so real, y'know?
Looking forward to the next chapter
♥Author's Response: Thank you, Helena!
I've been wanting to write this for awhile, because it was obviously a huge part of his journey. And he's starting to realize what he got himself into, and the really heartbreaking part, I think, is that he wishes he could just go home but now he CAN'T, and I think that would have been almost unbearable. And he's only about 21 years old at this point, so he's still very much a kid in many ways, and I think that makes the whole thing worse. Definitely right, he's not a "hero" in the way Harry is - Harry would never have been able to keep his mouth shut and his head down - he would never have been able to stand by while people were doing things he didn't agree with - he would have felt the need to act out and express his disagreement even if it was going to get him killed. But that kind of behavior would not be helpful here, and frankly, not everyone can have the same hardheaded and fairly reckless sense of righteousness that Harry exhibits, so while Percy disagrees with what's going on, he literally can't do anything (unless he wants to risk getting killed or imprisoned). While Percy's decisions got him here, at this point things are completely out of his control. I just think that's a really scary thought, and I wanted to explore what would have been going through his mind at this time.
Next chapter is halfway done at this point! I'm glad you're enjoying this! Thank you so much for the wonderful review!
Melanie Report Review
I really like seeing this from Percy's POV. I can only imagine what he went through before deciding that enough was enough and joined the proper fight again.
Fasting people he knew like that would have been incredibly hard for him. In fact, I think for some, they would have turned to religion and their faith in such times. However, to see Percy struggle with his, it is a nice thing to actually see. Given the situation he is in, his thoughts are very valid.
Excellent first chapter and I am definitely going to keep a lookout for the next.Author's Response: Thank you, Len!
I think you're right, many people in a situation like this would turn to their faith for support. That didn't seem to be Percy, though - and I thought this situation would provide a great backdrop for a personal struggle with faith. And once I got that idea in my head, I got really excited about it.
I am really glad you liked this chapter. I've had pretty big hopes for this little project, and I hope the next couple of chapters deliver.
Melanie Report Review
Oh Melanie ♥
I adore Percy, as you know, and I don't think he deserves half of the abuse he gets in the HP community. He's so much more complicated than a lot of people seem to understand and you get that across perfectly.
I'll be honest, I am pretty religiously ignorant :P Everything I ever learned in RE has since locked itself away in a cabinet in the back of my mind. However, as controversial as this could be, I love the route you've taken this first chapter down. It isn't overdone. It isn't forcing anything down the reader's throat. It's just posing the question, suggesting something for us to think about and anything that makes me think automatically gets my vote.
Percy's character is divine. As I said above, you've done him an enormous amount of justice. I love things that fill in the gaps for the less central characters and what was going on in Percy's head in that year when the Ministry fell has always intrigued me. I've never even thought about the security of his job, how he'd feel about working in that environment but I'm asking myself all those questions now (although you've answered most of them).
I just want to pull out some truly stunning lines:
- he tried to avoid thinking about what his mother might be cooking for dinner that night, or how his sister was doing at school, or just trying to remember what it felt like to not be so alone and utterly lost. - That just broke my heart in two. You've given Percy so much heart and soul.
- "Better benefits, sir?" was the dry response Percy wanted to give - I love how you've brought out the side to Percy that we saw just before Fred's death in DH: the lighter, more daring side.
I am so happy that you're back. This is completely stunning and I've missed your writing so much. You're such a flexible author - it's unbelievable.
xxAuthor's Response: Thank you so much, Rachel! ♥
I don't think I realized what I was getting into when I started writing Irrational, but I seriously just fixate on Percy now. And I don't mean that in a creepy way (well, would I creep on Percy? The answer is yes. HOWEVER...) I mean I really just find him a fascinating character, and once I started writing him, I just wanted to write more stories about him. I've been really excited about this one for awhile, because this was such a pivotal point in his life, and we really don't know much about it.
I'm really glad the religious stuff didn't come off as overbearing. It was never my intention for this fic to be preachy, or to either advocate for or against religion - it is a look at one particular character's personal struggle with faith, morality, etc. So I am hugely relieved to know it's not off-putting, because I was actually really worried about that - not only because the issue of religion in the wizarding world is hotly debated, but also because I was concerned that some readers might interpret this as me having an agenda.
The idea to bring religion into it really started with Percy's middle name, which is the name of a saint. I found that really interesting, read a cool essay about similarities between Percy and St. Ignatius, or how St. Ignatius might have influenced Percy's character. And I just thought that this situation Percy is in would be a great backdrop for a personal struggle with faith. I'm not Catholic, but considering he was named after a saint, I just ran with it, and I thought the issues or themes of confession and atonement would tie in especially well.
I like those two lines you quoted as well. As to the second, specifically - this fic is supposed to be pretty heavy, but you know me, I have a hard time leaving humor out completely. :-P And like you said, we know Percy actually has a sense of humor, so I take every opportunity to bring that out!
I'm happy to be back, too! This review is amazing and made me smile so much.
Melanie Report Review
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