This was an amazing story. I loved it! 10/10 for you. feel specialAuthor's Response: I do feel special, thank you! Report Review
This is really different from your normal writing, but not all that bad either. It's...different, you have a talent though. That's for sure. I liked that but where Lily lied because she wanted something different, but she realized that home wasn't that bad a place after all. It was quite a nice twist.
On another note.
Get on the forums for crying out loud!
Of course Dr. Who is the bees knees I reference to it in almost every one of my chapters!Author's Response: Hey!
You know, I did register an account on the forums the other day, but for some reason the account isn't working. It hasn't activated properly, and I can't message anyone about it because when I try it just comes up with a board message...
Maybe I'll just make a new account, that may be easier.
Anyway, thanks for this review (: Report Review
That was amazing! It really was :D The imagery you created and the metaphors were all spectacular. I especially loved the varied use of vocabulary in particular. My favourite section (which was hard to choose 'cause i pretty much adored the entire thing) was probably the paragraph you put in the summary purely because I think it just describes in such a different, exciting way.
I really think the pace and the style in which you wrote this really matched Lily's character- always on the go, wide-eyed and curious. She was just growing up and learning about the world around her and your writing managed to reflect that wondrous tone, yet still keep a bit of that realistic streak through it with sentences like "She was always wrong".
I adored Albus in this! Even though he was only a fleeting character, he was definitely significant. As a brother I thought he was just so sweet. This line: "Albus just said I love you" was lovely :) I suppose it had to be Albus who inevitably saved her from herself and ended up bringing her home, even it was done indirectly, haha.
So yeah, all in all I really loved the whole piece, it was something different and fresh to what I've read before and I think you did an incredible job with it! Like I said before, amazing imagery! That was my most favourite aspect of it all :) Oh, and I couldn't have chosen a better title for this myself! It really was "electric" 8)
~Maddie xAuthor's Response: Wow, this is such a lovely review!! Thank you so much, everything you said was exactly what I was trying to convey.
Thanks for reading (: Report Review
It was beautiful. It really, really was. I don't have much to say , except that I loved this story.
Good job :)!Author's Response: This was a lovely review, thank you ^^
Glad you liked it! Report Review
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