Hm. This is bound to be an interesting story. I'm looking forward to it. Marta seems to be a bit crazy. Or insane. Your choice... Cant wait to read on! It's great! Keep writing! -Janelle(:Author's Response: Hi, I'm glad this story has piqued your interest! Marta would probably secretly agree with your evaluation of her mental state, though she wouldn't like to. Thanks for reviewing, and I hope you will enjoy the rest of the story! Report Review
Love love love this story!
I've read both this and all that's posted of Fiend so far, and now I've sat down to write reviews on them :)
You had me hooked from the first chapter! Marta is a fun character, and Benjamin was fun too, until you started dropping hints that he might not be all that nice. When she told Remus, things were just too exciting after that. I went to work with four hours sleep just because I couldn't stop reading. It was _so_ worth it :)
When we found out that the cursed women would die when giving birth, was around the time I checked out your profile for more stories and saw the Fiend sequel. And I was like, No... Don't tell me Marta gets pregnant and dies... Curse myself.
The ending was so sad. I can't even imagine Marta's life after Benjamin came "back". Living for two-three years like that... I have a feeling she was welcoming the prospect of dying at that point. And poor Remus... No words... I'm a fan of happy endings, and don't like sad endings much, but it's a breath of fresh air to read them sometimes. And when it's so well done as your ending... Of course, it doesn't hurt knowing there's a sequel of some kind :)
On a happier note, I love your writing style! English not being my first language (but I aced the language at school), it's easy to read, but not... simple. I don't know how to explain it. I just love the story! Favourite!Author's Response: I'm glad you thoroughly enjoyed it! I had fun writing it too! I'm sorry it's taken over a week to get back to you, but now I finally have some time to go through this and the other lovely review you've been generous enough to leave for me!
When I wrote Benjamin in the first chapter, knowing full well on how evil and vile he was, I wanted readers to kind of like him and see him as a sort of bad boy. I've never written a character quite like him, and he's grown to be one of my favorites. Ooh, you went to work with that little sleep?! O.o Well, I'm glad that the story didn't disappoint you then! I hope you've caught up on your sleep since then!
Ah, the end of this story . . . it was halfway through writing this when I came up with the idea for the sequel. I changed my plans for the original ending in favor of the one you have before you. It might not be overwhelmingly obvious, but Marta was still hopeful in the end. Yes, she partly did enjoy the thought of not having Benjamin always hanging around and reminding her of the curse, but she has hope that one of her descendants will find a way to destroy Benjamin in the future.
Wow, until you said something, I wouldn't have been able to guess that English wasn't your first language! I think I understand what you mean about my writing style. I try to write in such a way that you have to read between the lines to understand the deeper meaning. At least, I hope that's what I'm doing! Thank you so much for your review! Report Review
Okay...well, I just thought I'd let you know what my fav quotes were in this chapter. Here they are:
"Never apologize for thinking. Only a fool would waste time in such a manner."
[This is simply brilliant!! As a general rule, I wish I knew people who'd say this sort of thing on a regular basis!]
He then slammed the drink back onto the table. "I just donít like seeing anyone by themselves. I figured because I was bored, and you looked bored, we might as well be bored together."
"I'm not sure about that logic, but it's your time to waste."
[great dialogue and characterisation - this one made me smile :]
And, finally: "Sirius also got up to leave, saying something about how James should be done stalking Lily by now."
[I love the casual James/Lily reference here...after all, it's not like Prongs would do anything other than stalk Lily on a Hogsmeade weekend!]
So thank you for making me smile numerous times in this chapter! It really brightened my day :)
10/10Author's Response: Yay, favorite quotes! I always enjoy seeing what other people liked!
Ooh, I'm glad you like Alexander's line there. I too would like to know more people like him.
Sirius has always been one of my favorite characters, no matter what I have him doing. I love his logic and personality. It's great hearing that he made you smile too! :)
Ah, James/Lily reference. I couldn't resist mentioning James's stalker-like habits with a certain redhead.
Thank you for sharing your favorite lines! Your sharing made me smile too! And again, I'm terribly sorry for not getting to this response for almost two weeks! Please forgive me! Report Review
Woaahh...my first impression: Benjamin is super creepy! Is that how you intended it to be? :P
Anyway, I love this fic all the same and can't wait to read the next chapter! It's definitely got potential!!Author's Response: Yup, Benjamin isn't your traditional imaginary friend. I'm glad that you're enjoying this story! Thanks for reviewing! I'm sorry that it's taken nearly two weeks to respond! Report Review
I stumbled upon this story quite by chance and devoured it all in a couple of hours. I'm pretty sure you're quite fed up with hearing how good this story is and how it has all the right elements, the right balance, basically the right everything, but I must add my own bit of praise: This is truly a remarkable story!
I loved it all, from the neatly built plot to the depressing ending (and that's coming from a firm believer in Happily Ever After, mind that!).
Your characters were all excellently depicted (even the slightly oblivious Sirius, who was very refreshing I must say).
Marta was portrayed perfectly, a believable character. You didn't overly focus on her appearance/clumsiness/angst/name-perfectly-normal-trait-most-OC's-display-so-compulisively-it-gets-annoying, but instead built her as a character. You gave her a history, which gave her motives, and not a pleasant history at that, and yet you managed to make her cope with her life like any real person would: in her own way. In short, you made her human.
Benjamin. It goes without saying that he is also another excellently painted character. What I particularly loved about this character was your skill in giving him an evil nature without it seeming artificial or predictable. From his slightly mercurial nature that made him almost normal (I won't go so far as to call him human) and even likeable, to the evil he is, when at last he shows his true colours, how he apparently changes, grows even through the story to it all being revealed as deception, all of it made him an amazing and unique character. I must admit I understood this story was not going to have a happy ending the second he showed his sadistic nature (I think it was ch.18 if I'm not mistaken).
And you earn some more praise for that too. You prepared the reader for a dramatic ending. By the end of the story you made us hate Benjamin and empathise with Marta's helplessness. And the way she accepted her fate, sacrificing herself for the lives of her friends and the lives of people she barely spoke to, well it speaks volumes on your maturity as a writer. You gave Marta a horrible life, but did so with philosophy. You wrote a story that said something to the reader and left said reader with something to think upon. And that I believe is what every writer aspire to.
Well, I hope my review was not too long. I shall embark upon the sequel now. :)Author's Response: Rest assured, I could never get tired of positive feedback! :) I simply do my best!
I always like going into a story with a good idea on where I'm going to end up. I develop the middle part of the story as I go, but I wanted this story to be different in many ways, including this tragic ending. It's fantastic hearing how you like it despite your fondness for happy endings!
Thank you so much for your praise on Marta and Benjamin! You've pretty much summed up how I write characters- I treat them like people that could actually exist. Well, except Benjamin. I wouldn't want him to really exist in real life.
I hope you don't think I'm mean or cruel, but I enjoyed writing the ending. I had many people like Benjamin at the beginning, but as I got closer to finishing the story the Benjamin fans started falling out of love with him. But I knew after a while that Marta's character didn't have the strength to be rid of Benjamin for good. It wouldn't be realistic for her. I'm glad to hear that you understand her sacrifice and the reasons behind it.
Thank you so very much for leaving a review with your wonderful thoughts! It certainly wasn't too long! I hope you enjoy the sequel! Report Review
Excellent story, sorry I didn't comment on any of the chapters. While you do have some spelling issues, the story was wonderful. The ending on the other hand, is simply depressing. You have a sequel? Well, I can find that myself lol.
Your portrayal of Benjamin was quite effective in establishing his overpowering and quite evil presence. I definitely liked the parts with Remus and Marta together, and the cheering charm incidents, and so on. :) I really do wish that somehow the story would have worked out for Marta and Remus to be together, but not everything can have the happy Hollywood ending unfortunately.
Overall, well done. :)Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! I know, I still have spelling problems, but I do my best to fix them before I post. I hope they weren't too distracting for you. This wasn't the original ending for the story (the original was going to be just as depressing through), but I'm happy with it despite the grim tone. Besides, this way gave me a chance to even write a sequel to which I do hope you might like!
Thank you for your comments about Benjamin. I had never written someone this evil before in my life, fan fiction or original, so I'm glad I pulled this off as well as I did. Remus and Marta were so easy to write together, so I'm also saddened that I couldn't have them together for very long. Sadly, my desire to keep my stories as canon as possible helped push me towards the ending you just read.
Thank you so much for your review! It really means a lot to me! Report Review
Okay, I completely completely completely loved this story! I plowed through it, and I skipped eating lunch and dinner to keep reading it. I hate myself for not leaving more reviews, because this story definitely deserves more than what it has at the moment. Anyway, I thought the curse was really interesting, and I also like the fact that the witches' faces stay the same while the hair and eye color change according to the father. There are a few things that I've been wondering about, though. Does the name "Greengrass" have anything to do with Austoria (is that Draco's wife's name?) Greengrass at all? And another thing. I was a bit confused when Ben was explaining the Venus Lupin and Remus Lupin connection. If Venus Lupin gave birth to a girl, then Venus Lupin would've died, and the curse would've just kept going. So how does Remus come into all of that? I love the story so so so so so much! Now I'm going to read the sequel!Author's Response: Wow, you skipped meals to continue reading? I'm honored you felt this was more important that food! :D It's okay that you didn't leave reviews during the course of reading- it's much easier to just go to the next chapter, right?
As for your questions, here are the answers in order. Yes, Alexander Greengrass, Marta's grandfather, had several brothers according to my story. One of those brothers had his own children and grandchildren and such. Astoria's father would have been Marta's second cousin (or third cousin or second cousin once removed or something of the like). Basically, the relationship goes back to Marta's grandfather and Astoria's great-grandfather having been brothers. I just really wanted a pureblood surname for Marta's mother (and yeah, I chose it because of her future relationship with Draco).
The same kind of relationship was sort of the same with the Lupin family tree. Venus Lupin had the curse. But her father was a Lupin and had his own brothers to carry on the family name without the curse. So Marta descended from the Lupin father that married a cursed witch. Remus descended from the Lupin uncle that had no contact with the cursed lineage. And Venus was born in 1242 (no, I didn't just make up that number, it's been in my notes for ages), so Remus and Marta have over seven hundred years of generations separating them from being related. I really hope I didn't confuse you with all that, but those were really great questions!
I must thank you for leaving this review! I'm always delighted when I see someone enjoyed something I wrote, and hearing about your excitement and desire to read it all right away makes me smile! And I see you have reviews waiting for me over at Fiend, so I'll speak with you again over there! Report Review
Benjamin is getting on my nerves, and I'm not Marta either.Author's Response: There's more to Benjamin than what Marta assumes. His story is, er, complex, to say the least. Report Review
*tackles* Sirius Black, at your service!
ROFLMAO xDAuthor's Response: I simply love Sirius. He is, by far, the easiest character I've ever written. Report Review
God this must be VERY awkward for Marta.maybe Benjamin is really a dead spirit???Author's Response: Awkward moments are a constant in Marta's life, I'm sad to say. Interesting thought about Benjamin so early in the story. Thanks for sharing! Report Review
I swear this is the most depressing end to a fic...Author's Response: I hate to admit it, but I like writing depressing endings. Somehow, making my characters miserable/dead makes me happy. I must be weird. Report Review
I know that I haven't reviewed every chapter, but I thought I'd leave you this review to let you know my thoughts on your whole story.
First I've honestly never stumbled across a story like this before, and I absolutely loved the idea that you had it was very unique, and those are my favorite types of ideas!
Next I absolutely loved the character of Marta--I was pretty taken with Benjamin for a while (but I'm sure that was intended in some manners). Marta was witty, and I loved her relationship with Benjamin for the most part. I like how he took care of her despite how much she hated him in some instances. I think one of my favorite parts was when he went away for a week and Marta was basically losing it, and he showed up as if nothing was going on just helping her with his essay. While I quite enjoyed Benjamin to some extent I was sad with just how cruel he got with Marta, and others that surrounded her. He had quite the temper, especially when it came to her relationship with any form of muggle-born.
Diana was very smart in naming Marta after the woman that Benjamin was in love with. I liked that she was so smart, and figured out exactly what was going off. I also liked that he was so gentle (in some aspects) to Marta because of everything that she went through and because there was the whole underlying factor of her face being the same to the original Marta's as well.
Then in the beginning I completely thought Kazil (sp?) was so cold hearted to the only daughter he had, but it turns out he cared very deeply for her. Agh! I feel like I could go on forever about all of these kinds of things!
I did like the relationship that Marta had with the Marauders, mostly Remus and Sirius because they seemed to be the sole focus out of the group (clearly I'm stating the obvious). I like how you portrayed Remus, especially that she met him when he was in the hospital for is lycanthropy. Their relationship didn't ever seemed strained and it was basically effortless once they could actually pursue it. I just really loved the two of them together, and was sad that it didn't end up well for them.
Also I must say that in the epilogue I wasn't expecting Marta to be pregnant, I was thinking she honestly might kill herself before she'd have a child, but obviously she wasn't completely coherent when she engaged in sexual relations with Sirius. Also I liked that Remus vowed to try helping her no matter what, only thing was I was secretly hoping that Benjamin wouldn't make Marta suffer for talking to him, but in some manner he did because he took so much joy in the fact that she'd never see him again, and she was going to die. He was just so heartless in the end. Throughout a good portion of it at least he seemed to have some form of remorse, but at the end he was full on nefarious.
Well I plan on reading your sequel momentarily, and I'm sure I'll leave another rambling review. Overall I wanted you to know that I loved this story and can't wait to look at your sequel and some of your other things! :)Author's Response: It is perfectly all right that you didn't review every chapter. I am simply astounded by the length and content of your review; it simply makes me pleased to hear what you enjoyed about reading this story!
I too hadn't heard about an evil imaginary friend story anywhere before either. When I originally conceived it, I tried figuring out how to use Benjamin outside of fan fiction. But fortunately for you, I gave up after a month of mental debate and this piece before you is the result of Benjamin bullying me to write his story! :)
You're right about how Benjamin was supposed to be endearing a bit at the beginning. He was the 'bad boy' that most of us romanticize into being a softie at heart. Marta then evolved to be the opposite: a shy girl with self-esteem issues that only Benjamin could help (or reinforce). I hope it doesn't sound mean, but it sounds like you went through the feelings I wanted you to experience- loving the character to loathing him. Or at least, something along those lines.
I don't know what else to say about Diana because you already said it so well! Diana simply knew Benjamin's weaknesses and used them to protect the daughter she knew she could never raise. As for Kazik (it's okay, the spelling was close), I only wish I could have gone into his character further within the story. I probably feel sorry for him the most because of what I did to the most important girls in his life.
I know in a lot of Marauder stories, many female OCs become really good friends with all four Marauders. In keeping this story different, I restricted myself to just two. The reasons why I chose them are also obvious, so don't worry about stating the obvious yourself either! :)
When I had planned the epilogue, the thought of Marta killing herself had never even entered my mind. My only goal was to show how I would transition from this story into the sequel and show Benjamin at his all-time worst. And while it wasn't obvious, Marta's presence at merely taking care of herself and carrying her daughter to term signaled to me that she still had a teeny tiny bit of hope left.
I must say thank you, thank you, thank you for this review! I thoroughly enjoyed reading and responding to it (sorry it took me a week to answer you)! I can already see that you liked the start of the sequel. Until then! Report Review
This was an amazing story, it had a bit of everything, a little romance, a little mystery but a lot of sadness. As wonderful as it was, it was terribly upsetting! I felt so deeply for Marta, she was doomed from the start :( but all good stories evoke strong emotion and just because this one was sadness it doesn't take away from the fact that this was a beautifully written piece, that was a captivating read. Well done ur a wonderful author as I have said before and you never fail to keep me guessing :D one of the most shocking/ traumatising parts was that the baby was Sirius'. It was so sad on so many levels!! The baby will be an orphan, Sirius will never know his child, Remus lost the love of his life due to actions of one of his best friends, who didn't even know what he did!!! Wow, such a dramatic ending on so many levels! And now off to the sequel :)
Random girl :)xxAuthor's Response: I'd known since the beginning that this would be a sad story, but I didn't decide it would be this sad until I was half way through writing it. I'm glad to hear that despite the depressing ending, you still appreciate it for being a good story. Originally, Benjamin didn't win, but when I changed my mind, I figured that making Sirius involved in this way would be a sucker punch to Remus (and you). And while Marta's story is done, I'm pleased to hear you're going to jump over to the sequel! I hope you enjoy and thank you so much for your wonderful reviews! (And I'm sorry it took me nearly two weeks to respond!) Report Review
I have a confession to make.
I read this story a good four days ago, at least. Maybe even five. And yet this amazing fanfic has remained in my mind since then, poking me because my pay-as-you-go internet expired before I could submit a review.
I must admit, the first few chapters did get on my nerves slightly. I got the feeling that there was slightly too much repetition; I understand you were trying to explain how Benjamin's existence adversely affects Marta's life, but to me, it just seemed a little much. However, that might just be me :P
When the story started picking up, it improved. I admit I did think at one point that Benjamin was Tom Riddle, kind of like Marta was his Horcrux and he was manifesting himself outside her body because it was easier to keep her sane and safe that way. If that was your intention, how clever of you to lay miniature clues that would temporarily mislead us (the readers) to consider a different possibility, therefore being more shocked when we learned the truth. If it wasn't, you're evidently a better author than you realize ;)
While reading this fanfic, I felt like I was on a rollercoaster; I was rooting desperately for Marta to be able to get rid of Benjamin. I was terrified when he started showing his evil self, homicidal when he started hurting Remus (because Remus is too lovely to deserve being hurt!) and completely and utterly brokenhearted when Benjamin "returned from the dead" and started forcing Marta to sever all ties with her friends.
His ability to control the purebloods is cruel yet astounding; Marta and Sirius' one-night-stand was unwanted yet uncontrollable. I love how you wrote him to be so consumed by his desire for revenge that all the good qualities he once had have been replaced by pure evil.
And now, here are some little facts about this fanfic:
I cried so much reading the ending that the following morning, my neighbour saw my red eyes and asked if I'd had some kind of family bereavement. (Yes, really.)
I both hated and loved your final few chapters. Don't get me wrong- I don't hate your writing, but I was more like... I hate the fact that this is happening, I hate that I can't change it, I hate that this character I love is suffering. Do you know what I mean? And yet I love how you wrote the ending; not everything ends happily after and you reflected that. I do have to ask though, if Benjamin survives through Marta's blood, why doesn't she commit suicide? She's aware that she's going to die during childbirth, so why not end the curse with her instead of inflicting him upon her daughter?
This is the longest review I've EVER written, which just shows how much I have to say about your amazing fanfic.
And despite the fact that it's been almost a week since I read My Not-So-Imaginary Friend, I didn't need to re-read this fanfic to write my review- oh no. Marta and Benjamin are still rattling around in my mind, which just proves further how fabulous this story is.
I'm going to shut up now and go and read the sequel :PAuthor's Response: First off, let me reassure you that it's okay that it took a few days between reading the ending and writing this massive review (which made my eyes boggle when I initially saw it). It's also taken me almost a week to get around to leaving you a proper response that you certainly deserve, so I'd call us even. :)
I agree with the beginning going by rather slowly. That's a nasty habit of mine that I've also done with another completed fic of mine. At least you endured through the repetitive chapters so you could get to the meat of the story. I know this is something I need to work on in the future. That's why I write fan fiction in the first place- to improve my writing style and skills.
I actually intended for Marta's pendant to be a false Horcrux, actually. Sort of like Slytherin's locket in DH. I actually didn't think that Marta as a person could be a Horcrux like Harry was. I will take your compliment about me being a good author graciously. Your idea actually seems like a blend between what I was trying to get you, the reader, to believe and what was actually happening, so you were very close to the truth while reading.
Thank you especially for sharing the emotions you experienced when reading. I see these chapters dozens of times before I post them, so my emotional reaction to the events diminish to the point where I giggle at tragedy and hardly smile at the cleverest of jokes. It's great to know that the emotions I intended to convey were actually felt by you, the reader.
Oh yes, Benjamin's powers are quite overwhelming. One thing is certain about Benjamin: he has become an excellent actor after doing this for nine centuries.
Oh my gosh, what a nice neighbor! I'm really sorry that I made you cry, but your neighbor sounds so caring! I just had to address that.
I understand what you're getting at with the whole love/hate thing with the chapters leading to the end of the story. I know I feel the same way when my favorite characters in other people's stories have terrible endings. But Benjamin was just too powerful for the Marauders and Marta to get rid of him so easily. Addressing your question about Marta possibly committing suicide, I wanted to show that she still had a flicker of hope somewhere deep down. While she failed miserably, there's always a chance that one of her descendants might be able to break the curse. If Marta killed herself while pregnant, she would also kill her innocent daughter. Additionally, I knew a girl who committed suicide in real life. None of my characters will ever do such a thing, no matter how depressing or hopeless life may seem at times.
On my computer, I can't even read all of your review without scrolling down a bit. And now with my response, there will definitely be a lot of scrolling to track my response with your review! :)
Thank you so very much for this fabulous review! It's okay that you didn't reread the entire thing to write this. I'm glad to hear this story made such a lasting impression on you! I hope you enjoy the sequel! :) Report Review
Im really starting to think benjamin is some sort of possession of that necklace :( which is so worrying :( this chapter was happy and yet so sad at the same time. Im so glad she apparated first and did some magic really well :) but i was sad to see that she could only do it to escape benjamin, its like the way sirius prides himself on teaching her by being her inspiration to learn when shes doing it to avoid him, its like she relies on benjamin even to apparate :( and she couldnt even take the congratulations the teahcers were going to give her, i really hope she starts to gain some confidence in herself and believe she can do things on her own, in that way i hope she sticks with sirius' tutoring because i think he is trying to give her that confidence. You really are a talented writer, all the pieces that i have read of your work are fantastic and this story takes so many twists and turns that it keeps the reader ( me!) so addicted to every chapter! :D Well done :)
Randomgirl :)xxAuthor's Response: Hm, you think the necklace might be the key? That's interesting. Yes, very interesting indeed. (That would probably be a lot more meaningful if I didn't take so long to answer your review- sorry!)
I agree with your statement about this chapter being happy and sad simultaneously. Her poor self esteem really handicaps her at many times, but I thought of Marta's success as more of a way of showing that she can push herself to do something on her own if she really wants to. But hearing your thoughts, Benjamin (and now Sirius) still acts like a crutch for her to lean on. Wow, months after I wrote this, I'm seeing the different angles this could be interpreted through. Is it wrong to be surprised like this by my own writing? Well, you're actually the one who helped me see this angle, so kudos to you! :)
Once again, I have to thank you for being wonderful and leaving this fantastic review! I'm only sorry it took me so long to answer (you might be tired of me apologizing like this, but I'd feel more guilty if I didn't). I'm confident you'll continue to enjoy. Things really start moving fast after the next chapter! Report Review
Oh my god, that was terrifying! Poor Marta, Benjamin is so evil and has a scary amount of power :( I definitely think he has something to do with her necklace and also maybe some type of ghost creature :/ as he said he doesn't miss peeing, therefore he did do it at some stage! Meaning he was alive at some stage... possibly!! Maybe I wrong about that and yes it is a weird thing to pick up on!! Haha I can't believe I'm so behind on this story I didn't even notice that it was completed :/ oops I hope u still read these reviews now :) also a quick question u keep referring to Marta being tall around what height?? Weird question but as ur very descriptive in your stories I said I'd ask! :) I can't wait to find out what Benjamin is so on to the next chapter :D
Randomgirl :)xxAuthor's Response: First of all, yes, I still read these reviews (even if it takes me more than two weeks to respond- I'm sorry!). I love reviews!
As for the story, I wanted this chapter to be intense and show a hint of what Benjamin can do. And I think that by your reaction I achieved my goal! He has a lot of secrets that are close to being revealed (which you already know because I see you've finished the story because I'm late in answering your review- I'm sorry again!). But seeing what you're picking up on, I'd say you're more observant than poor Marta. Nothing can be too weird to pick up on in this story, so no worries there!
I initially wanted to mention Marta's specific height within the story, but at the time I was confused as to whether use metric or stick with the old inches/feet way because of what I recently learned on Pottermore about measurements. So I decided to just skate over the topic. But I always imagined Marta standing at five foot ten because then she would be taller than 98% of the female population and equal with half the males (thank you, college statistics class). So I always pictured her about the same height as Sirius and James and just shorter than Remus (I think Remus would be over six feet tall). In metric, the conversion would make Marta 177 cm or so. I know, a really long answer to a quick question, but now you know why I never stated the answer directly.
Thank you so much for another review and I hope you continue to enjoy! :) Report Review
Well that was weird!!! How did Marta go from flirting with Remus to being Sirius' girlfriend?! Ok well I know how, but still that was so shocking and funny and devastating all at once!!! Haha Sirius is brilliant, he was so funny but so oblivious! But poor Remus :( I loved that he was in this chapter as he's been missing for a while and I thought they might finally get together and now this happens! Can't wait to see what happens next!! :)
Randomgirl :)xxxAuthor's Response: I know, it all happened so fast! I don't think even Marta has fully wrapped her mind around it yet. I had been driving myself crazy with Remus because I hadn't been able to find a place to put him in the chapters until now, and then this happens. I hope you continue to enjoy! (And I'm sorry it took me two weeks to answer your review! I feel terrible about it- but at least now there's a response!) Report Review
OH MY GOD! Marta's mother saw benjamin too!! ( or a benjamin type character, im guessing!) how does marta not find her looking to the side in the photo strange???! im so excited about what happens next with that! also i was slightly taken aback to read her father knows about benjamin :/ other than that this chapter is quite upsetting, you see just how deprived of human contact she is, her life is so lonely :( her dad is so cold and im even wondering how her mum came to marry him?! she just seems so lost, she called her house her fathers house, not home, and she doesnt even have a real home in hogwarts either, she reminds me of harry pre- hogwarts but she never got the home he did in hogwarts :( i really hope things start looking up for her :) i just wanted to say this story is just fascinating, how you could even come up with a storyline like this is truly remarkable, i really hope you keep writing because you really have an extraordinary talent.
Randomgirl :) xxAuthor's Response: So, you deduced that Diana saw Benjamin? You don't think Diana might be looking at something else in all the old photos? ;) Marta doesn't notice it because she's been looking at these pictures since she was little. She's not bothering to figure out what Benjamin really is like you and everyone else.
I know in my last response that I said everything is explained later, but I wanted to say something about Marta's father. This man lost the love of his life on the same day that Marta came into the world. Marta looks like her mother, aka the woman he lost. Her presence serves as a constant reminder of the one he lost. That was my basic mentality when writing Kazik and I just wanted to share it with you. He's also a really sad character in this story.
Thank you so much for another lovely review! I absolutely love writing and I'm glad you enjoy reading the product of my hobby. And I don't see myself stopping any time soon. :) Report Review
This was a brilliant chapter, but kinda confusing. :/ it seems benjamin doesnt like martas mother or grandfather very much and i cant seem to understand why? and im curious as to why her father doesnt want her to have any of her mothers things?! :/ and where did her mother and father meet since 'it definitely wasnt hogwarts'. So many questions!!! :) and now to find out, onto the next chapter!
Randomgirl :)xxAuthor's Response: I know, I address so many things without explanation, but the pieces will fall into place with the revelation. Trust me, Benjamin's motives will eventually be made clear and you'll get a better idea of Marta's father's issues near the end. I know, I'm not answering any of your questions, and I'm sorry! Just know that reading the answers within their respective chapters will be better than reading them in an author's response. I think you already know that, and I love hearing these questions. Here's a big thank you for sharing them with me! Report Review
Benjamin is a strange character, hes so interesting but i find myself hating him so much that im thankful for the moments when hes not there! i was afraid he was goin to pop in during her conversation with Sirius! :/ Im very glad he didnt by the way! I hate him but I also want to know all about him! Also i think Sirius is going to start appearing at random times to make Marta use her knowledge of spells ( well i hope, because that would be pretty funny!) :D anyways another great chapter and on to the next
Randomgirl :)xxAuthor's Response: I find that I love Benjamin simply because of his cruel, evil, hateful nature. I've never written a character quite like him before. I look forward to hearing what you think about him after the truth is revealed. As for Sirius- you've already read on so you know what happens (and I'm sorry it's taken me so long to respond!). Thank you so much for pausing to leave this review! Report Review
Such an intense story and as much as it pains me to admit that a story that ends in death could be good, I actually found this story to be rather fantastic.
Your twists and turns really kept me on the edge of my seat. And even though I was hoping Remus and Marta would be able to stay together, I think I knew in the back of my mind the cycle had to continue. I especially like how you had Benjamin begin to call Marta, fourty-six. Unfortunately, it is a dehumanizing technique that often works in making people feel inferrior. It still sends shivers up my spine when thinking about all of the power Benjamin had throughout the entire story (and in the 45 previous girls). The again, Gaunt was the same surname as Voldemort's mother so it would only be fitting Benjamin would be just as powerful if not more.
Overall, this was beautifully written. Once I realized you had finished the story my self control was destroyed. I had to find out what happened. Thank you for taking the time to write this story. It truely has been an outstanding jouney. You are an amazing writer and as I have said mulitple times before the flow of your writing was breathtaking. Thank you again for all of your hard work.
orangezauberAuthor's Response: When I originally concocted this story, I had a different ending. But when I got into it and learned more about Marta and Benjamin, I realized that ending wouldn't work as well as the one you see before you. Marta was never capable of beating Benjamin. Hence this epilogue.
Benjamin Gaunt is probably one of the strongest characters I have ever created (in both my fanfic stories and original works). I rather enjoyed writing him, simply because I knew his true nature and potential from the beginning. And unfortunately, I have a bad habit of creating a Remus/OC relationship that will inevitably end up being doomed in the end (why oh why must I believe in Remus/Tonks?).
I appreciate and thank you for all the kind words you have sent me now and in all past reviews! I'm glad you enjoyed it, despite the gloomy ending. I always looked forward to your reviews and I wish you the best with your own writing endeavors! Report Review
I suppose since I waited so long to pace myself through these chapters, I no longer have to wait. You have posted the ending of the story so I will be able to read to my heart's content.
Funnily enough, as soon as you mentioned the diary in this chapter it brought to mind those voice activated. I would have asked if Marta tried saying Benjamin's name when trying to open the diary previously...however, you answered my unspoken question.
The letter was amazing. I can't believe that this didn't actually happen. It was so well written I would swear that someone had actually wrote it to their daughter. Not to mention the background and history you put into it. I will forever be in awe of your writing skills. It isn't everyday someone comes across such a 'real-life' story.
It would be interesting to read a story about Benjamin and the original Marta back in the founding days. I am not much of a founders story reader, but I would be interested in one such as this because I have already become familiar with the characters.
I still believe poor Remus is going to have a complex about Marta. Even later in life, I can imagine him checking the air around him to make sure there is no Benjamin around (regardless if Benjamin was still 'surviving' or not) when he came close to Marta.
I also remembered you mentioning Marta's grandmother, Diana's mother because I have a friend by the name of Rhea. It isn't a common name and it does stick with a person once they come across it.
Thank you again for all of your hard work. You will forever be one of my writing inspirations. A level of excellence from which I wish to strive.
orangezauberAuthor's Response: At this point, this story has been completed for about a month, I'm sorry to say. But at least you have everything out for your reading pleasure!
When I wrote Diana's diary introduction/letter, I worried for a bit that I was putting too much explanation in one place even though it made the most sense. I had been sitting on all that information for so long, it was actually a relief to get my notes put into a chapter with the ability to be read by others. In a weird sense, Diana was actually me reaching out to the Marta I had created (which could be considered a mother writing to her daughter).
Original Marta and Benjamin in Founders era. That's an idea I have definitely run through my head several times. I have a sequel to this story coming out soon, and this very idea will play a part in there somewhere (although I hope I won't regret giving out this spoiler later!).
I do feel sorry for Remus in this story (and any other story I put him in). I love him so much and yet put him in such horrible situations.
You know someone named Rhea? I think it's a lovely name and I love the mythological meaning behind it and all other names of the like.
Wow, thank you so much for leaving another excellent review! I hope you continue to enjoy my work, and I'm honored that you think of me as a writing inspiration! Report Review
Yeah, I was pretty sad and shocked too that Marta died. But, agreeing with everyone else on here, I agree that it was amazingly written and as that one person said, it does take a lot of courage to have the antagonist win, especially with all the fans the story had, who were hoping that Mart would find a way to destroy Benjamin. I'm looking forward to reading the sequel that you're writing though! :) Hopefully Marta's daughter can find a way to disspell Benjy forever. Loved the story and I can't wait to read more.Author's Response: I know, hard to believe I would just let my protagonist give up. But it wouldn't have been realistic for Marta to win. Benjamin was just too good. I needed someone different, hence my decision to sacrifice Marta and create Forty-Seven (I just can't tell you her name yet). Just know that this girl has a tough job ahead of her. Thanks for the review! I hope the sequel will live up to all expectations! Report Review
Grrr, I really don't like Benjamin >:/ He's ruining poor Marta's chance of making friends! How come he has it in for Remus though and is okay with Sirius? I can't remember if you specified a reason for it or not :p
Anyways, I like where the story is going and I can't wait to read more about Marta's relationship with the Marauders, Matthew, Benjamin and maybe Lily and her friends? Hmmm :)
I'm also looking forward to get to read some more Quidditch scenes :D I bet you're good at writing those!
Anyways, great chapter!
-AmandaAuthor's Response: Then it looks like you and Marta have something in common! Remember, Benjamin likes Purebloods like James and Sirius, but Remus is just a half-blood (as far as Benjamin knows). Further reasons will be clarified later.
It's good to hear you like this story! The other characters have to compete with Benjamin and his antics. As for Quidditch, the first match is just around the corner! And yes, I enjoyed writing those scenes. Quidditch is a big part of this story since it's the only place Benjamin can't follow.
Thanks for another review! It was lovely hearing your thoughts! :) Report Review
How sad!!! I was back reading chapter 18 and was thinking, "How is she going to resolve this in two chapters?". But...I guess it didn't resolve the way I planned it to :( Very good story overall, however! Very unique idea and very well executed. Although this story left me sad, I enjoyed reading it. I hope to read future pieces from you.
If you ever get bored, head over to my story page and check out Slytherin's Angel. Would love to hear some thoughts and opinions from a great writer :) Take care!Author's Response: I know, there was absolutely no way to make a happy ending in just two chapters. That wasn't the direction I wanted to go. This story turned out better than I expected and I'm glad you enjoyed it, despite the ending I chose to go with. Thank you for reviewing to share your thoughts!
I'll make sure to check out your page. Sadly, my online time is limited but I'll try to find a way to get myself to your story! It just might take me a few days. Report Review
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