Reading Reviews for Life As We Know It
  
293 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Veritaserum27 chapter five

18th February 2015:
Hi Erica!

I know it's been ages since I've left you a review on this story - but I'm back!

I really enjoyed this chapter as told from Hermione's point of view. I liked her thought process of how she chose Cormac because he would sufficiently annoy Ron - and then almost instantly regretted it. Haha - she had to spend the entire night mapping out her moves and predicting what sneaky plans Cormac had for her. I was looking forward to hearing her tell Slughorn off for using the House elves to do his decorating, but you stayed true to canon and Hermione was distracted enough to hold her tongue.

Haha - it was satisfying to read that Cormac was stuck under the mistletoe - at least for a little while.

Great job with Harry's characterization as well. He's bound and determined to find out what Malfoy is up to - even if it means running after him during the Christmas party.

Nice chapter! Off to the next!

♥ Beth

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Review #2, by TreacleTart chapter six

10th February 2015:
Hi SlytherinChica08,

So far the way you have edited your story is good. The plot moves along at a nice leisurely pace, leaving the reader time to adjust to the changes Hermione is feeling towards Draco. Instead of succumbing to the "love at first sight" syndrome that a lot of Dramione falls under, you are doing a great job of allowing it to develop at a much more natural pace. I'm excited to see how you will finally bring them together, since at this point, Draco seems to still dislike Hermione quite a bit.

In this chapter, I really liked finding out that Pansy believes that Hermione and Draco are having an affair. I also appreciated that every time Hermione tries to defend herself, she only makes the situation worse. She keeps seeming to wind up at the wrong place at the wrong time.

Good work! Looking forward to chapter 7!

~TreacleTart

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Review #3, by TreacleTart chapter five

10th February 2015:
I think this was my favorite chapter so far. You managed to follow along with canon, but keep it fresh and interesting. You showed the cunning, clever side of Hermione.

Again, I noticed a few minor things where Cormac said something that didn't fit his demographic. He says "my uncle Tiberius told me about the parties you threw back in the day." Maybe rephrase it. To me " back in the day" seems very American sounding.

Otherwise, another solid chapter. I am enjoying it so far.

~TreacleTart

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Review #4, by TreacleTart chapter four

10th February 2015:
Four chapters down and the story is still progressing nicely. Your description of Hogsmeade at Christmas was beautiful. I could see it in my head as I read it.

I really enjoyed the addition of Mr. Bleakly and his personal moment with Hermione. I thought he came off like a kind old grandfather telling a story about the good old days.

I did notice one thing and it's relatively minor, but I thought it was distracting none the less. During the part where Mr. Bleakly is telling his story, he says "We spent the rest of the day hanging out under the tree." It sounds off to me because it hanging out sounds more like something a young person would say. It also sounds very American to me instead of English.

Otherwise. I liked this chapter and am happy to see you breaking away from the original story a bit more.

~TreacleTart

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Review #5, by TreacleTart chapter three

8th February 2015:
Hi SlytherinChica08,

I've just finished reading chapter 3 and like your previous chapters, I enjoyed this one. You do an excellent job of keeping the characters close to cannon. The way the dynamic between Draco and Hermione is progressing is just right.

I am also enjoying the way you've characterized Ron. I like that you've had him attempt to be cordial with Hermione and that she shuts down each and every attempt.

For the most part, I think you are doing a great job of portraying Hermione. I think the first part of this chapter where we see her insecurity for a moment and then she decides she's being silly is very well done. At moments I do find her thoughts to be a bit long winded, but overall, I think you're hitting the nail on the head.

~TreacleTart

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Review #6, by TreacleTart chapter two

8th February 2015:
I just finished chapter two and I liked it, but I have a few minor critiques to offer.

I found Draco's speech to be a bit stilted. While I enjoy his arrogance, I just couldn't help, but think that he could sound less forced.

Also, the part about Hermione crying for Malfoy does not seem authentic to Hermione's character. If anything, I feel she would've been much more suspicious of him and hardly sympathetic at all.

I thought the addition of Sarah and Lisa was interesting and am looking forward to seeing where they tie into the story.

I really enjoyed the dynamic between Harry and Hermione. That seemed very easy and relaxed.

You also do a great job of making the reader feel what your character is feeling. Kudos for that because it's hard to do.

~TreacleTart

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Review #7, by TreacleTart chapter one

8th February 2015:
Hi there SlytherinChica08,

I enjoyed the first chapter. It flows very naturally and the interactions between the characters seemed realistic. I really liked how you introduced Draco into the story. Allowing him to accidentally witness Hermione's moment of weakness was perfect.

I also appreciate that the story is told from Hermione's perspective. It adds a nice layer to the story.

I'm very much looking forward to reading the rest!

~TreacleTart

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Review #8, by MrsJaydeMalfoy chapter four

21st January 2015:
I just love your characterization of Hermione in this. There's so many details about her, from her appreciation of the books Mr. Bleakly gives her to her thirst for knowledge and inability to understand why she can't think her way out of her emotions... based on what we know from the series, all of those things are true, and I love the way you portray that.

The story about Mr. Bleakly's wife was so sad, and it made me want to cry that he was starting to give away his possessions to "join her".

And Ah ha! So Pansy IS hounding Draco about what happened. But I can't believe Ron/Lavender started that rumor about Hermione! I'm so mad at both of them right now!!

Another intriguing chapter dear, and off to the next!

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Review #9, by MrsJaydeMalfoy chapter three

21st January 2015:
I can't believe it... tell me he did NOT tell her secret! Ugh! But at least he got what was coming to him, right? :P

It was so sad to read Hermione, telling herself that it had all been a mistake and that Ron would come apologize... she perked up so much just at that thought, it really was heartbreaking.

Another wonderful chapter, and I'm off to the next!

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Review #10, by MrsJaydeMalfoy chapter two

21st January 2015:
Whew! It's certainly a relief that Malfoy doesn't want anyone to know what happened in the RoR, either. I can't imagine Hermione's humiliation if anyone had found out!

I really liked the statement that Harry and Draco aren't as different as they seem, because they really aren't, and of course Hermione would be able to see that. And the moment with Harry and Hermione on the couch was touching and tells a great deal about their friendship.

It's so sad to hear Hermione talking about not being understood in her thirst for knowledge. I hope she finds someone who understands that soon, too.

Another great chapter!

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Review #11, by MrsJaydeMalfoy chapter one

21st January 2015:
Hi Erica! Happy (VERY belated) Hot seat day(s)! I'm so sorry I didn't get here during the first 2 rounds, but I promised myself I was going to try to make up for that in the 3rd.

This was a really heartbreaking chapter - I felt SO sorry for Hermione, and even worse after the smirk on Draco's face. I think this was an excellent way to begin a Dramione - with everything changing on the day that Ron and Lavender started kissing. I also really liked Hermione's description of Lavender as a "mess" and "unorganized"... the fact that Hermione considers those things to be negative says a lot about her, and it's so true to her character. It was so sad when Hermione was wishing she was Lavender, that really broke my heart.

I'm very curious as to what Draco will say, and what will happen next. Great introductory chapter, and I'm off to the next!

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Review #12, by Freda_and_Georgina chapter four

17th January 2015:
You should just write a story about Mr. Bleaky and Helen. I love how you have Hermione listen to his story and him being so willing to tell it, especially with all those details! I realize this chapter isn't all the Bleaky's relationship, but it's so sweet I can hardly see around it! (But the other parts were amazing, by the way)

All in all, it was a sweet chapter, especially Mr. Bleaky (in case you haven't noticed, I love him)
--Georgina

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Review #13, by likeness_of_a_seabird chapter one

17th January 2015:
Hufflepuff Hot Seat Review, round three!

I really liked the beginning! Hermione’s hurt was so palpable I wanted to shake both Ron and Lavender and tell them to be a little more considerate of other people. I get that they are supposed to be madly in love but enough is enough. I also liked that because they’ve lived in the same dorm for years, Hermione recognises that Lavender’s infatuation with Ron is probably only temporary.

It was so sad that she thought she might have to be alone for the rest of her life because no one seems to recognise her desire to learn and mock her for it instead. I really liked the line “Books and cleverness was one thing, but in the end, that’s all that they were” because that’s what she says to Harry at the end of the Philosopher’s Stone. I’m glad you included that line because that’s one of Hermione’s defining characteristics: she’s clever and she loves books but there’s so much more to her as well.

Oh dear, Ron and Lavender have arrived. It was a bit rude of Ron to not leave immediately, I thought. At least he could have apologised. I wouldn’t have blamed Hermione if she had hexed him; he and Lavender both kind of deserves it…

And Malfoy was there, and he saw the whole thing. Dear, oh dear, this really isn’t Hermione’s day, is it?

Great first chapter, I can’t wait to see what’s happening next!

- Emmi

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Review #14, by Pheonix Potioneer chapter one

16th January 2015:
Hello! Here for the Hufflepuff Hot Seat review!

What??? Malfoy saw Hermione crying? Oh, that's got to be bad... Malfoy may have been preoccupied this year, but even he couldn't miss out on a golden opportunity to make Hermione's life hell.

You do a terrific job demonstrating Hermione being heartbroken- such a beautiful piece. And I love Ron's little gesture with his hands, and his eyes looking "soft"- I can picture him so well, feeling kind of sorry for her, but at the same time wanting to snog Lavender.

Somehow I don't think Malfoy will do anything bad... seeming how I'm pretty sure this is a Dramione fic. Or maybe he will insult her, and then apologize later or something? IDK.

Brilliant first chapter- this gets straight to the action.

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Review #15, by Very Secret Santa chapter four

30th December 2014:
While I don’t know what the next chapter will be like, and how big the gap was, I am very happy that you chose to add this chapter.

It is so impressive how much thought you put into your minor characters and background story. The story of Mr. Bleakly really was touching!

Also, it is amazing to see Hogsmeade through the eyes of Hermione. We know that when they first went there in their third year, she checked out all the historical places and even though Harry never visits more than the Pubs and Zonko’s it was refreshing to see what Hermione would do on a Hogsmeade weekend.

Plus, i can’t stop being amazed at how well you fill her character with her own thoughts and life and a past and a family and what-not. I know, I know, I mentioned this in every review so far - but I really think it can’t be said often enough! The Dobby for the best wielding of Canon Character was very much deserved. The part, where she plans out her shopping tour was just perfect! I also smiled when she mentioned loving buying presents for her friends - and then thought about the planners she bought Harry and Ron in fourth year, that would keep telling them to get their stuff done!

It’s curious that Pansy apparently doesn’t know anything about Draco’s business. I couldn’t help but wonder, if this was the one visit at Hogsmeade where Draco Imperiused Katie - or was it the one before...?

What I do like about your story, is that it is very realistic in its development. There is no sudden making out with Draco or incredible, out-of-the-blue attraction to him so far. But they do keep running in to each other! Nicely done.

Again, just a few small details, that I hope you won’t mind me mentioning:

“I would have to go it alone today” - I think it is meant to be “to DO it alone”

“It was lightly snowing” If I\'m not wrong it’s “It was snowing lightly”

“Scrivenshaft’s Quill Shop was just up again” – I’m not sure what this is supposed to mean. Is it that it’s just ahead of her? Or maybe that it’d just opened?

Looking forward to more!

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Review #16, by Very Secret Santa chapter three

30th December 2014:
Again, I am amazed at how well you follow the inner thoughts of Hermione. You entwined her every-day life and all that’s happening in Hogwarts cleverly with her thoughts.

Even though seeing Draco the day before had clearly occupied her mind a lot, she wakes up and all she can think of is Ron. I liked that a lot, because clearly this would have a deeper impact on her.

But then towards the end of the chapter, we get some Malfoy-time again and it adds to the suspense. What are him and Pansy planning, and what was he telling her? Pansy is another intriguing character and I cannot wait to see what you will do to her (and Draco)...

I also feel - and maybe that’s only a feeling - that you wrote this chapter more carefully. It seems well thought-through and has a more delicate choice of words, even though it is somewhat a “filler”.

I noticed that commas are misplaced on some occasions, maybe you could have a look at that sometime. Also just very small things that caught my eye:

“and rubbed at my puffy eyes.” - which, I think, should be “rubbed my puffy eyes”, without “at”

“Ron would be the dominate one” - dominant

“he had taken her to the same room I had run off too” - had run off to(, too)

“Ron and Neville both deep in thought about their next movements.” I think in games it would be called just “moves”, not movements

“and just merely thinking about it set me on edge.” - and here I guess either just or merely would suffice.

Otherwise another wonderful chapter!

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Review #17, by Very Secret Santa chapter two

30th December 2014:
Hola again!

What a nice second chapter. Again, I really appreciate the slow pace you are taking with this story. It gives the reader time to let themselves fall into your world.

What was probably most interesting in this chapter, is that Hermione in your story and Harry in the books both get to see the vulnerable Draco that clearly has some problems. But here we see, how different a reaction that can evoke from people depending on their personality and circumstances.

Your insight into Hermione’s thoughts really fit of what JKR describes: She’s empathetic and wants to know the reasons and motivation behind people’s behaviour.

I am wondering now if Draco was there in the Room of Requirement because of his plan with the vanishing cabinet – and “hiding oneself” means the same to the room as “hiding something” – or if he was there to be alone, just as he later does with Myrtle…?

The additional roommates of Hermione’s are a very good addition, too. In general, the life Hermione leads besides what we know is always a bit of a mystery, so I always love to read the details authors come up with. Overall you do a great job with putting yourself in the spot of your characters.

As for CC, I would maybe go over the text again regarding expressions and some minor grammar stuff. It isn’t bothersome at all, your story is still great to read, but if you plan on reediting it again you might want to think about it. Maybe I should mention that I’m very far from being a grammar-whiz so my greatest apologies if I suggest corrections of things that are actually correct! :o

Concerning expressions:

“There had to be something going on that I couldn’t place” – this expression implies, imo, that you noticed something (an action, a detail) but cannot decide for the context; not that you have nothing but a vague idea that something’s off.

“And that’s when I noticed it, the slight pink of his grey eyes, telling me the truth.” – I got a bit confused here, because I never heard of pink eyes before. It becomes clearer toward the end of the chapter, when you explain that he does in fact have pink spots in his eyes, but maybe you could write it here too?

“just the sound of shredding paper connecting us.” – I thought another expression might be better, since you describe very well how Hermione feels connected to him because they both go through the same heart-break. So actually, it is more than just shredding paper connecting them, but maybe the paper is forming a silent conversation? Or something like that ;)

“though hers was contained to just a small portion of her bed.” – I thought about it a bit, and maybe it’s just me being a little bit slow again (in that case – sorry!) but I just couldn’t get what this sentence is supposed to mean :(

“even my nightstand was placed exactly so, making sure” this is a little bit awkward, so maybe you could say “, so that ..[explanation]”

As for orthography / grammar etc.:

“...even though really I didn’t care.” I believe here there should either be commas added, or the word order changed to “I really didn’t”

“For the words that he said, the agony behind his eyes…” Maybe in accordance with the following sentence this should also be written in past perfect!

“They were preoccupied on a certain blonde” – preoccupied with sth.

“as Dean had kissed Ginny not too long after Ron and Lavender disappeared” – had disappeared

“and as bad as it may have seemed, I was kind of glad..” – as bad as it may seem (otherwise it’d be something that has happened before)

“loves cruel sting” – apostrophe “love’s cruel sting”

I hope you don't mind my nitpicking - gread read!

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Review #18, by MadiMalfoy chapter seventeen

30th December 2014:
Well it has been a mighty long time since I read this last! But I had some free time so I decided to catch up on this and see where you were going with it! :)

They kissed!!! And it wasn't overly done or anything! It fit the situation and its purpose well. (And it just made me happy because yay Dramione) :) You write without adding unnecessary prose or description. First person can sometimes be a little tricky, but you write Hermione very well! Sometimes wielding canon characters in different situations (namely Dramione in this case) can be difficult and come across as extremely OOC, but you handled the information given to Hermione very well and adapted canon events to fit with everything. And I liked the little bit with Bill--helps to flesh out his character and how he actually got the scars from Fenrir (since I seem to be forgetting how he canonically gets them; I must need to reread the books again).

Overall, these last couple of chapters were splendid and I'm excited for more! Although I'll most likely be late on them, I'll still do my best to get around to upcoming stuff as soon as I find free time! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

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Review #19, by Very Secret Santa chapter one

30th December 2014:
Here I am again, after all the roof-climbing and handing-out-of-presents still a little bit beaten, but what could be better to relax than a great story!

I will try to review every chapter of this story. I have worked a little bit ahead, so here I go!

First of all, the setting of the story is quite interesting. It starts with a canon event, but takes on a completely different direction. We don't know yet how the storyline of the war, Voldemort, the Death Eaters and so on will progress - if it goes in a similar direction as the books, you've set yourself a big task, and I can't wait to see how it will turn out.

I also like the way Hermione tells the story. Her analytical thoughts are very much in character. Especially her description of Lavender is really sharp, I loved it! The difference between her reaction when Ron ran into her and Harry in the books, and when they run into her here, is interesting. I guess Lavender's presence does make a difference. In any case, your descriptions of her thoughts and feelings at that moment is very convincing.

You took enough time to perfectly ease into the story. The whole first chapter takes place within - what, maybe 15 minutes. It's good that you made Hermione's feelings and thoughts clear and set a solid ground from where to kick off with the rest of the story.

There are also a lot of question implied in the story, that make me curious. For example, how will Malfoy's task of killing Dumbledore work out when he has to do with Hermione?
How come, that the room of requirement let people into a place where one goes when they want to be alone? (It's interesting to think that it would react as when you ask it to turn into a place to hide stuff - and after all, the room can only be one place at a time - or can it?)

Very good job with the first chapter!

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Review #20, by HeyMrsPotter chapter fourteen

30th December 2014:
Hello again, Erica! Happy second review hot seat day :D

Things are getting so exciting at this point in the story! You have this really wonderful ability to create tension in your chapters, and its so evident in this one. Even though I know what is going to happen with Harry and Dumbledore and, to an extent, Draco, I still find myself scared for them!

I really enjoyed Hermione's interactions in this one, as much as I can't get enough of her conversations with Draco, it was nice to read about her conversing with others. The brief glimpse we had of Dumbledore was brilliant, he's so difficult to write but you managed brilliantly. I can understand Hermione's disappointment with him but of course we know that he only brushed her off because he knows what is going on with Draco. I also really loved her teasing remarks to Ginny about her snogging Harry!

Looking forward to reading the next chapter, I'm very nearly caught up! Which means you need to write more :p

Dee :)

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Review #21, by wolfgirl17 chapter one

29th December 2014:
Happy 2nd Hufflepuff Hot Seat Review Day!

This chapter s a little all over the place as far as first chapter goes. I mean, you've really laid the foundation for Hermione's anguish over Ron and Lavender, and you did leave us with a great cliffie there at the end with Malfoy finally revealing itself.

The middle is a little clunky though. Like, you're a little repetitive with the bit of her being so upset and the bit when Hermione is demanding that Malfoy come out, not realising it's him. I was totally hoping for some more tension between Ron and Hermione too.

It's always bugged me that Ron was so purposely dense about the idea. I mean, he knows she's upset over him being with Lavender. He has to, otherwise he wouldn't say that line about her having her knickers in a twist and him being a free agent. He has to know. So why is he such a sod about it?

I'd love to see some elaboration on that scene in this chappie if you ever do another edit. And maybe a little more of what's to come with the plot. Like so far you've just got Hermoine mad at Ron. Ron and Lav getting together and Malfoy randomly showing up. It's just not much to really hook the reader into wanting to find out anything other than what Malfoy is going to say to her, you know?

Anyway, on to the next chapter. Keep up the good work.

xx-Wolfgirl

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Review #22, by kenpo chapter one

27th December 2014:
Hello! Thanks for the swap! (I'm ten reviews away, so I'll likely end up reviewing more than just this chapter in the next two days). Before I start reading, I feel like I need to tell you that Dramione isn't really my thing, but I am open to reading it, particularly from someone who I have faith in making it natural. So... here I go!

I love the notes about Lavender. I agree - the fact that her favorite subject is Divination does speak volumes! Yay for judgement and cynicism!

I'm looking forward to exploring a Dramione in this Era, rather than post-war. I also like the fact that this begins with a very canon event. It's comforting to me, seeing as I'm so out of my comfort zone, reading this.

Draco has to be the last person that Hermione would want to run into, especially at this point.

Your Ron was also in character, which I was happy to see. I liked how much focus you gave that moment with Ron considering whether to go with Lavender or stay and make sure that Hermione was okay. You made just a few seconds last paragrahs, but in a good way. I liked that a lot.

The narrative style fit Hermione really well. I liked the bigger blocks of paragraphs, because that's probably how Hermione thinks. I also like seeing that this is first person, from her POV. I don't think I see that too often. I write Hermione a lot, but I don't think I usually do first person... do I? Oh god, I can't even remember. I think I usually do third person.

BUT THIS ISN'T ABOUT ME!

I loved the last line. The fact that Malfoy experiences glee at the hands of Hermione's humiliation is comforting to me. Even though I know that you're a good writer, I'm instinctively made nervous by Dramione.

(There is something cooking in my house and it's making me so hungry)

I liked this chapter! I'll definitely be returning to read on! I'll see how far I can get before classes start and I have to give up a lot of reviewing.

Thanks again for the swap! I always like getting out of my comfort zone, and this was a good read!

-Georgia

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Review #23, by mymischiefmanaged chapter three

20th December 2014:
Hello hello! I'm catching up on all my reviewing/responding/writing and realised I've massively neglected our long term swap over the last few months. Sorry about that!

Okay, this chapter. I like how it starts. Hermione trying to rationally convince herself that things are okay and that she doesn't need to be upset is a very convincing portrayal of how her character as she appears in canon would approach this kind of situation. It's a side to Hermione that we don't really see through Harry's eyes, because Harry's not all that good at dealing with other people's emotions, but I think the way you've handled it is very realistic and in character. She's let herself have the feelings, but wants to talk herself back into being logical because it's where she feels comfortable.

And then Hermione's ignoring Ron at breakfast is a lovely nod to the fact that we can't properly ignore our feelings. It's satisfying to see Hermione getting her revenge, even if it is just in a tiny way. And I like that Harry's there and just completely oblivious because neither of his best friends have filled him in.

Malfoy's words are cruel both times Hermione runs into him, but I think you keep the tone just light enough that we can see there might be something going on behind it. He's struggling, and taking it out on other people so he doesn't have to think about it. Or maybe I just read that here because I know what happens in JK's work. Either way, it's very well written and is a good development of his character.

Pansy's hideous, but wonderfully so.

This is all round a very good chapter, and I really enjoyed reading it. Sorry for not reviewing so much recently! Things have been a bit hectic.

Lots of love,

Emma xx

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Review #24, by HufflePuff_Blitz chapter one

11th December 2014:
Merry Christmas Erica!
Here is your gift part 1 of idk. Until I get the story posted. :)
I loved this first chapter. You took a classic scene from the books and gave it a really nice twist.
The whole chapter I just really wanted to punch and or kiss Ron at the same time. So I think i was able to tune into Hermiones feelings.
But anyways great! Can't wait to read more!
Kyle

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Review #25, by HeyMrsPotter chapter thirteen

10th December 2014:
Hello again! What better time to catch up LAWKI than your review hot seat day :D

It really shows in this chapter how far you've come with your writing from the early version of chapter 1. You've got some really amazing language and imagery throughout this chapter. This line in particular:
'Each step I took seemed to accentuate the pale pallor of Draco's face as he lay there on the infirmary bed' is just beautiful.

As always, your characterisation is perfect. I'm so used to how well you write Hermione and Draco but it was Harry's part in the beginning of the chapter that really impressed me. The simple things like him sliding down the wall and the small smile with Ginny were very typical of him. Ron was brilliant too, I loved how he was distracted by the chess game.

The interaction at the end was so sad, I can really feel Draco's pain at the situation he's got himself into and how desperately he doensn't want to do it but feels he has to. And of course Hermione was perfectly stubborn with him! I'm glad she's not giving up on helping him :)

Dee

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