Hey! Here for Review Tag!
This was a beautifully written story. You have portrayed Narcissa really well. You wrote her just like canon.
I loved the insight you gave into the just-after-the-war-ended moments. I have hardly read any such fics talking about that same day, so this was definitely very unique and original.
My favourite line was: It’s too late for us, love, Narcissa thought sadly. He bled us dry and now we have nothing.
It really was so heartbreaking and sad. It touched me.
I loved that this ended at a positive and hopeful note. It was so sweet :)
All in all, this story had a beautiful plot, amazing narrative with great descriptions, well-crafted characters, and superb scenes and flow. I really liked reading it, it was just perfect.
Brilliant writing as always,
(AditiDraco95)Author's Response: Hi AD! Thanks for the review, and I'm sorry that I took a little while to respond. My graduate work leaves me very little time for hobbies, and so unfortunately HPFF has to sit on the back burner for much of the time. But I very much appreciate your review!
I'm honestly surprised you haven't reviewed this before, because I you know love the Malfoys. Narcissa is definitely my favorite. This story was really sad and somewhat painful to write, given the setting and Narcissa's initial feelings, but I wanted to see her pull her family from the ashes at the end. After all, she was so lucky to get to keep her husband and son alive and out of prison.
Thanks again for stopping by!
-Amanda Report Review
What a moving piece! I love how her thoughts are all rather dark and depressing in the beginning but than right at the end her thoughts turn aronud and she realizes that she still has so much more to be thankful for, so much more that she can do since she is still alive and so are her husband and son. I love the voice that you have for telling stories, it has captivated me and is very enjoyable to read. This oneshot really makes me want to write a story about the Malfoy family getting on after the war and how they are able to deal with everything that had gone on in their home and with them. Maybe someday I can write it! Anyways, I really enjoyed this oneshot and loved how while there is still much to be done for her she realizes that she has the time to do things still. A very interesting and wonderful oneshot! From your Slytherin Secret Santa!
~Slytherinchica08~Author's Response: I really love Narcissa; I think she's the most interesting (and dare I say the most "good") member of the Malfoy family. I'll always think that her lying to Voldemort so that she and Lucius could go look for Draco is just too sweet. So to me, it made sense that she would step up and help pull her family out of the ashes, given that Lucius has kind of lost all his power at this point. I think she's much stronger than she looks or seems to most.
Anyway, enough Narcissa gushing. I do hope you write that one-shot, and let me know if you do so that I can hop over and review it!
Thanks so much for this lovely review :)
-Amanda Report Review
Wonderful, wonderful story! Hands down, AMAZING. Your style flows so beautifully and your vocabulary usage is marvelous!
My favorite line: She could kiss her husband and let him make love to her in the middle of the night when she couldn’t sleep.
THAT LINE=THE BEST BEST BEST!
Can't explain how much I loved it :)Author's Response: Hello, and thank you for stopping by! :)
I'm so glad you enjoyed this story. It's an oldie, and I think I still need to go back and fix the dialogue tags, but I love it. I think Narcissa is fascinating, and I'm glad that you liked the way I tried to tell her story here.
If you're a fan of Lucius/Narcissa, I have another one-shot featuring them called "A Damsel Distressed" that you might also like. (I couldn't resist the shameless plug.)
Thanks so much for your lovely review :)
-Amanda Report Review
I thought this was a beautiful one-shot! There is a lot of emotion in this story which I thought you brought out wonderfully. I really enjoyed the thought of the Malfoy's being humbled by the war, for example allowing Arthur to help carry Bella out. I also thought that Arthur helping them out was a great touch, it brought a lot of character to the story. That right there shows what a war can do to some.
Your writing is beautiful as always! I really, really enjoyed this story. Great job, Academica!
RecenseoAuthor's Response: Hey! I'm really fond of this one as well, since it was my first real one-shot. I really loved having the chance to explore Narcissa, as she's one of my favorite women in the Harry Potter series, largely because of her hidden inner strength. I'm glad you felt like this story brought a new light to the Malfoy family and that you liked how I used the battle's aftermath to show that life can surprise you.
Thanks so much for your kind review :)
-Amanda Report Review
Narcissa is one of those characters I love to read anything about, perhaps it's because she was willing to betray her own master to save her son, proving that she wasn't really as bad as I thought she was, or perhaps it's because she's so different in each story that it's really hard to figure out her character exactly, there's something I just love about her. What I really like is how you've explored her character in this piece, and how you've portrayed her as a woman who deeply loves her family, the same woman we see in Deathly Hallows. I found her recognizing the kindness of the people that surround them to be something very incredible, and I think really it was one of those great points that show how much she changes as a character and how it ends with her looking forward to the future, rather than her simply dwelling on the past.
It's incredibly hard for me to even find an area to suggest improvement within, as it's hard to find something that could be fixed in a piece which is essentially perfect, not only with spelling and grammar use, but the story itself is perfect. Simple yet the detail and the story you are telling are just amazing, because really I was fascinated by this woman from the start until the very end, I wanted to know how her story ended, and I'm glad there can be at least some happiness for her in the end, because I felt sorry for this Narcissa, losing the man who vowed to protect her son and her sister in the one night, and how obviously these losses affected her.
Overall, I thought this story was written beautifully, it really captured something different about Narcissa and her relationships and feelings following the war, and I loved reading every word of it.
~ In The Shadows I DwellAuthor's Response: Hi! Again, sorry for the delay in responding.
Oh, gosh, I love her too. I feel like I write her a lot, even if she doesn't have a starring role. The portrayal of her in the final book, the one where she really took her opportunity to shine and do something to counteract all the evil that her family had helped perpetuate over the years, is my absolute favorite, and I love dwelling on those moments, which is probably where the idea for this one-shot came from.
I definitely wanted to tap into her sensitivity here, as you've observed, and her vulnerability after having to sit back and watch things happen for so long. I think it would be quite shocking to find yourself alive and whole when people much stronger and smarter than you have perished already. Another element, of course, is the idea that in a just world, the Malfoys probably wouldn't (or at least shouldn't) have made it out alive. My Narcissa here has learned to take advantage of the fact that the world isn't perfect, and not to let the sacrifices of others go to waste, but to live on and take what she can from this.
I'm so glad you liked this. Thank you! :)
-Amanda Report Review
Oh my goodness, that was completely mind-blowing. You are completely talented, I should of known because your reviews are so intellectual.
I've never really thought about what Narcissa and Lucuis did after the war. I honestly thought they'd just whisk away into wizarding society. But you made me think about them. Jolly good job! haha.
Anywho, it was completely realistic probably because I always pegged Narcissa as a somewhat tormented figure, only because she married Lucius, who's a complete coward (my opinion). I don't think many people thought about the Malfoy parents as a couple but you made me see that.
~Ripley 10/10Author's Response: Thank you very much! I'm very flattered by your assessment of me, and I'm glad you liked the story and felt that I portrayed the Malfoys accurately. I always love making people think!
Thanks again :)
academica Report Review
This was a really interesting piece. I never really thought about what the Malfoys would be doing after the battle. This is a really realistic account of what could have happened though. I thought that it was good how she was haunted by her sisters death, and you portrayed the emotion of this appropriately. I also liked how she compared Bellatrix's touch to Andromeda, and how Andromedas touch was warm whereas Bellatrix's was not. The kindness that the Malfoys are given is really nice, too. Your use of senses, particularlly in the last paragraph was really nice, and ensured that the reader felt as if they were acutally at the scene. Similarlly, I liked her grief for Severus, which I think was really nice because it implied how she had gained a feeling of comfort from Sev being around.
Well done, this is a nice piece. :)
Leanne (leannemariesnape, Hufflepuff)Author's Response: Thanks for your kind review! I am pretty proud of this piece, and I'm glad that all of the emotion came through well and the imagery worked for you. Thanks for taking the time to read it! :)
academica Report Review
That was a lovely story. It's the first time I read one from the Malfoy family that takes place or even begins the morning after the war. I like the tone you used; from sadness and grief to hope and love. How Narcissa choses to turn to a more bright future and leave behind her dark past was really well done. the thought process whe went through was belieavable and gradual in a believable way.
The characterization was interesting. She isn'T s character we really got a chance to discover through the books and so, anything could go, right? Yet, I think you found the right balance between her Black heritage, her marriage to a Malfoy and a loving mother.
Through it all though, there was one little thing that didn't sound right and that, in all honesty, isn't all that essential to your story. Having Pansy sit at the table is kind of hard to imagine considering she was the first one to leave the castle after her outburst against Harry. I know, you can always say that she came back like a bunch of kids did but, for a one-shot where her entire importance is to sit there and refuse to look at the Malfoy, I personaly would cut that part out. It doesn't bring anything essential to the story and would keep you from having to explain to (picky, pointy, dumb...) readers like me!!
Overall, a great job. I personaly would not have save Lucius from Azkaban, after all that he has done over the years and that he didn't do so much to redeam himself... But hey, Harry was always a bit too forgiving, wasn't he?
Akussa (Gryffindor)Author's Response: Hey there! I'm glad you liked the tone of the story and the way I characterized Narcissa :)
Pansy was a little more important than that. Her purpose was to demonstrate how the Malfoys have lost ties with even their dearest friends throughout the course of the war. Plus, her rejection of Draco in this piece was the last straw that caused Narcissa to take Draco outside, which allowed her to have the little revelation that was the main point of the story. I haven't read the last book in a while, but I think it's very possible that she and the other Slytherins just hid out in the dungeons while the battle raged on and then she would need to get her stuff and leave the next morning. So I do sort of see her as an important part, and that's why she's in there.
Thanks for your review! :)
academica Report Review
First of all, Happy Slytherin Day!!
Second, OH MY MERLIN! I am utterly speechless. How can someone write like this? So beautiful, so evoking, so filled with flavours and perfumes, emotions and deep thoughts. How can this story have only 16 reviews?
This must be, surely is, the most beautiful Narcissa Post - Hogwarts story I have ever read and will ever read. I am hopelessly in love with it. The flow, it just streams so perfectly, so naturally. It's like every word was meant to be there and if only one of it was changed nothing would be the same.
How can I even start talking about Narcissa and Draco and Lucius when words don't seem to be enough to express my feelings. For sure she is the best Narcissa portrayal I have encountered yet. Everything about her from her deepest thoughts to her most visible emotions are so well kept in character that I can't possibly imagine her otherwise. Even Harry and Arthur who have become secondary or even tertiary characters in this piece are almost perfectly clipped from the books.
I loved how the tone of the story improved together with Narcissa's thoughts. From the dark, hopeless abyss we first read about her, she blossoms and gradually gains hope. The most eloquent paragraph for this is certainly the one when the grass and the food's smell fills her nostrils and her mind with hope of a better world, of a decent future. Your story has left me speechless. I guess that I can only say, and hope that you believe me when I tell you I loved it. It went straight to my heart and favourites :)
House Cup 2011, End of an Era Review Extravaganza
Forum name: Debra20
House: GryffindorAuthor's Response: Wow, I am FLOORED by your review! I mean, people seem to like it, and I'm certainly proud of it, but really, it's the best you've read? Wow! :)
This was actually my first time writing Narcissa in depth, and I wanted to put a different spin on her by including a scene in which we don't know much about what the Malfoys are thinking. I see this imagined sequence of thoughts as the culmination of her taking the reins and saving what matters to her in the final battle. Despite all she's lost, she still has her family intact, and she still has a long life ahead of her. It sort of humbles her and makes her feel proud at the same time.
I'm so incredibly flattered by your review. It may be one of the best I've ever received. I'm sincerely glad that you enjoyed the story! :)
academica Report Review
First of all, I have to say, your story flows wonderfully. It absolutely stunned me, you write beautifully. I loved the way Narcissa seemed so... gentle, so delicate and sweet and most of all, motherly. I've always thought Narcissa had to be a very motherly figure, and you worked that impression to the core. A very sweet, and amazing story. I really loved it. I think it was an amazing story, and you fully deserve the 10/10 I am giving you!^^ Keep this up!
~LunarLuna of SlytherinAuthor's Response: Wow, thank you so much! I am so flattered, and I'm glad you enjoyed my writing. I have received a number of compliments on my characterization of Narcissa, which I love because she's one of my favorite characters and this was my first time writing her in depth.
Thanks again for your very kind review! :)
academica Report Review
First thing first I have to congratulate you on that awesome summary off you it was the only reason I read it I didn’t even look at about who it is. I think you perfectly nailed down Narcissa’s character in this little piece of yours and the way they were so isolated that not even Pansy wanted to do anything with them. I mean yeah I can understand that they betrayed the Dark lord so their allies probably hate them at the moment. I loved the fact Andromeda wanted to help bury Bellatrix it showed that Blood is always thicker then water and even after all that is done to her and her family she still loves her family.
My favorite part was definitely this: “Bella’s beauty remained even after death. She had degraded a bit over the years as her zeal for the Dark Lord intensified, but she still looked like an abused doll with her bloodless skin and smudged makeup. Her black dress hugged her lifeless body, highlighting her hauntingly beautiful features even as her organs began to decay inside of her. Her untamed black hair fell around her face like the mane of a wild, enraged lion. Bella would never have settled for being a mere lioness. She fought like a man, right to the bitter end. Her wand lay within her reach.”
I mean yeah it’s a whole paragraph I copied but I think this was one of the most powerful pieces I read in your story and one of the most powerful pieces I read in awhile
- Cleopatra ( SlytherinAuthor's Response: Thanks for your very sweet review! I get a lot of compliments on that paragraph, and I love Bella, so it was a ton of fun to write her, even just as a brief mention in a story. Andromeda was very sweet, wasn't she? And you've got to feel at least a little sympathy for Narcissa after all she and her family went through, so I'm glad I conveyed that in this piece.
Thanks again for reading & reviewing! :)
academica Report Review
Narcissa became one of my favorite characters after the seventh movie, so it was lovely to see a bit about her. ^^ I think this was a short but awesome piece, with a lot of lovely lines!
Bellas beauty remained even after death. She had degraded a bit over the years as her zeal for the Dark Lord intensified, but she still looked like an abused doll with her bloodless skin and smudged makeup. - this in particular I LOVED! It kind of made me think that it's so easy to forget even the bad guys have loved ones who will mourn them.
I also liked how you had Andromeda offering to help, and Narcissa not knowing how to react to the warmth after so long.
All in all, loved this! My only complaint is it's short and I would have loved to read more! =P
-Caiti [Cappie/Hufflepuff]Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I get a lot of compliments about the paragraph I devoted to Bella, and I appreciate yours as well. It's probably one of my favorite parts of the piece, and Narcissa's interaction with Andromeda was really nice to write as well. Glad you enjoyed it!
academica :) Report Review
This was gorgeous. The imagery, the characterization...everything about it was so perfect. I adored the paragraph about Bella. The imagery in that is fantastic - "but she still looked like an abused doll with her bloodless skin and smudged makeup." Your description of her is spot-on.
The fact that they were so isolated after the battle that not even Pansy wanted anything to do with them, that was so sad. But then all the help others had offered them was just proof that there is still good in a world ravaged by war. Like when Arthur helped move Bella's body.
I loved that Andromeda offered to help bury Bella. The line that you wrote, about how she acted as though time and sins hadn't affected them - that was a powerful line, a reminder of the discord within the Black family.
The paragraph you wrote when Cissy starts talking about how she has years left with her family broke my heart, because there were so many families destroyed by this war and maybe there's a little guilt there that they had fought on the wrong side but they still had their freedom and each other.
I noticed some errors with dialogue tags, not using commas, etc. and I'm probably just picky but it bugs me when I see that. For example: “No.” She said, drinking a bit of the juice. - this should say: "No," she said, drinking a bit of the juice. But aside from that, I didn't notice anything else amiss.
I loved this one-shot. it was just really nicely written. :)
forsakenphoenix (Ravenclaw)Author's Response: Wow, thank you!
Yes, that's one of my favorite elements of this piece, the way I described Bella. In canon, she was very beautiful and then she was taken over by her obsession with Voldemort and became the crazy-eyed Bella we know and love. Kinda makes you wonder what she looked like beforehand, you know?
Yeah, it's funny, because the war kind of changes Narcissa's worldview. She's grown up thinking that the upper crust folks, like her and Pansy, should all band together and shield themselves from blood traitors like Andromeda and Arthur, and yet look who leaves her all alone and who volunteers to help pick up the pieces. I sort of pictured Andromeda as pining for her lost sisters somewhere deep inside after all those years. I imagine their abandonment of her must have hurt very, very badly.
There is a little bit of guilt there. Severus is a good reflection of that; he fought for the good and sacrificed everything, and he lost his life. And the Malfoys are still here, and what did they give? But they did give something, they lived in torment for a while and they ultimately switched sides while they still had a choice. And that's why she can take her time and enjoy her life now that she has one again.
Yep, I've heard of the dialogue tag thing. Thanks for pointing it out though :)
Your review was so sweet. Thanks for stopping by!
You totally deserved winning for this piece. It's absolutely beautiful, so full of hope and love and poetic awesomeness. I love it in a strange sort of way. It's depressing for the longest of times, and then there was the strawberry that just gave her the hope. I'd always loved Narcissa, and you wrote her flawlessly. This was wonderful(:
-Katherine045 (Slytherin!)Author's Response: Wow, thank you! What high praise! Yes, Narcissa is almost overwhelmed by her anguish over all of the destruction, both around her and in her own life, and then she finally gets a grip and seizes the blessing of what she has left. I'm so glad I characterized her appropriately.
Thanks for the review! :)
academica Report Review
Oh, I love this. I've read more than a few post-battle Malfoy fics, but I think this captures Narcissa perfectly in her humbled state. I especially like that you included Andromeda, as well as Arthur (who has offered to help bury the woman who killed his son, if I'm not mistaken). Very poignant. Very real. I think this is how it would have been in canon, though I might chance to say that it's a little too well-written for canon. :) Fantastic work.Author's Response: Hi!
Um, what? You, one of the authors I admire most, decided to come over and check out my humble little challenge entry? Ha, thanks :) Seriously, I appreciate your comments and it was sweet of you to check out my work. I'm pretty proud of this one, especially since it was the first time I wrote Narcissa in depth.
Yes, I wanted to cast a bit of an interesting contrast between Arthur and Andromeda, who sort of personify selflessness in this moment, and Bellatrix, who was consumed by her own greed. It does put the Malfoys in quite the emotional predicament, doesn't it?
Too well-written? YOU are saying that to ME? Wow. Also, don't let JKR hear you :)
Thank you so much. It's so kind of you to review!
academica Report Review
This was such a beautiful moment and I'm so glad that you've written it. Narcissa's pain and love both came through wonderfully and I could really feel the tension ringing through their family.
This was a WONDERFUL piece of writing and I look forward to reading more of your pieces.
SlytherinAuthor's Response: Thank you so much! I hope you enjoy my other stuff! :)
academica Report Review
This was such a sweet one shot! I really enjoyed it! I loved the way you wrote this. Cissy's emotions really came through, and I could definitely see her feeling this way post-war. I love the recognition of Pansy Parkinson, and the way she noticed the matching luggage. The little things can really make a story sometimes. The idea of the strawberry was genius. Again, I love minor details like that that just make the story that much better. You did an excellent job with this! :D
-NaidatheRavenclaw, RavenclawAuthor's Response: Thank you very much! I'm glad you liked the story so much and felt that the emotions were believable. And yes, I felt I had to make a reference to Pansy, since she basically dropped out of Draco's life after the end of Book Six. I tried to focus on the imagery, so I'm glad the strawberry idea worked for you.
Thanks again for your sweet review! :)
academica Report Review
Hi! I'm here for my review, sorry it's taken so long. Well, I really liked this. I could relate to Nacrissa very easily, and I think that the story was very well written, I could not see any spelling or grammar issues. This story has been written many times, but from lots of different characters point of views, you know, where everyone is in the Great Hall after the battle, and this was one of the best. Overall, I think this was very good. Please respond to the review! :) Love Livvy aka peace2lovepotter xxxAuthor's Response: Hey there! I always respond to reviews :)
I'm so glad you liked the story, and I'm happy that Narcissa's characterization came across well. I would have been disappointed if you found spelling/grammar issues, as that tends to be one of my strong points, so I'm happy to see that none of that came up.
Thanks for stopping by to read and review :)
academica Report Review
Pottersinsomniac here with your requested review :O
Alright, so with the characterization, I can only really comment on Narcissa's, since she was the one speaking. I could really tell how confused she was and purely worried for her family and their future. It was a fairly good story, and you can
There are a few things I'd like to point out, though.
First, the battle occured at the end of Draco's seventh year, (I believe in May) so Draco would've been out of Hogwarts after Bellatrix's death. I would say this could've been straight after the battle, but the Malfoy family left before Voldemort died.
Oh, and this next thing is sort of pointless... but I think this is actually 12+. I didn't see swearing in it or anything so yeah...
Overall, though, I like it! You could definitley see Narcissa's personality in this!
-Britney (pottersinsomniac)Author's Response: Thanks for your review!
As far as the timing, the inspiration for this one-shot came from pg. 745 in DH (US Edition). It's the scene of the day after the battle, and the bodies are being moved and people are having reunions all over the place. Toward the bottom of the page, there is a line that mentions that the Malfoys were "huddled together" and looking "unsure" about being there, with no one paying them any attention.
I chose the 15+ because of the sensitive subject... dead relatives and friends described in some detail, primarily. I figured it was best to err on the side of caution.
Thanks again for the review! I really appreciate it! :)
academica Report Review
Hey, it's Roots in Water here with your review!
This is a really nice story. Your characterization of Narcissa was great. She's quiet in her grief and she recognizes that she still has her family to love, which is definitely shown in the books on several occasions. As for the characterization of Lucius and Draco, well, they didn't make too many appearances in this story. However, I can imagine Draco being quiet immediately after the war. He watched his comrade die before his eyes and realize that his side of the war lost. He's probably still processing the information, and so I think his behaviour is IC. As for Lucius, the only problem I noticed is his transporting of Draco's belongings personally. I got the impression that he would usually have a house elf do the work, but perhaps he's trying to get his mind off the war through physical labour.
There were only a few small writing errors that I noticed, though they are mostly just personal opinion. In the opening sentence, "waking up in Hogwarts after being out for twenty-five years", I know what you mean, but "out" doesn't sound quite right... perhaps "having graduated twenty-five years previous"? I don't know what a better way to say that would be... As well, in the sentence "the look she gave Narcissa suggested further ", how about "further confirmed her idea" instead? It flows more smoothly to me.
The only other thing I noticed was a detail from the sentence "Harry Potter had done the most for them, sparing both Lucius and Draco from spending any time in Azkaban for their crimes.". It's my impression (and I could be wrong) that this story was taking place only a day or two after the final battle. Would Harry have already had time to influence the law? Would the court hearings (where I'd assume he'd speak in their defence) have already occured? But perhaps he just stopped them from being taken by the Aurors with the rest of the Death Eaters- is that what you meant?
I really like the description you used, describing Bellatrix as an "abused doll" and noting the difference in the hands' temperatures between the Dark and the Light side. As well, Narcissa's thoughts (the only thing in italics) were powerful. She thought it was over for her and Lucius, but was hoping for the best for Draco and future generations.
The ending was good as well, hopeful and light-hearted. It fit really nicely as an ending.
I really enjoyed reading this- thanks for requesting a review!Author's Response: Hey there, thanks for the review! I appreciate both your compliments and critique :)
Thanks for commenting on Lucius and Draco. I realize that I didn't go into them in depth, as the piece was primarily about Narcissa, but people tend to comment on my characterization of her, and I was curious as to what someone thought of Draco and Lucius. Anyway, I'm glad that I did an all right job with them. I figured Lucius's house elves would still be back at the Manor, cleaning up, and that Lucius would just do it himself to get it done and over with as quickly as possible.
I thought the phrasing in the paragraph about Pansy might have been a bit awkward, so thanks for pointing that out :) I'll keep it in mind in my future writing.
The story did only take place a day or so after the final battle, but as you mentioned, I figured that the remaining Death Eaters (the living ones) would have been arrested right away, and that Harry would have put a stop to the Malfoys being taken away because of Narcissa's help in his victory. It doesn't really have anything to do with court hearings and such, which would come later as a way of formalizing Harry's wishes for the family.
Anyway, I'm so glad you enjoyed the story, and thank you for the thoughtful review! :)
Hello! I'm here for your review!
So I definitely like the plot of this, and the writing is very good. Very descriptive too.
1. About the emotions. Most of them were very believable, but I think you can work on describing them even more. I would have like to have seen her discuss the things Harry Potter did for the family even more, because I think that was very crucial for the Malfoys, but that's only my opinion. Overall, I think the emotion came through very well.
2. Narcissa's emotions were very very believable, considering everything that happened in the seventh book. She was portrayed extremely well and you are an awesome writer when it comes to that.
3. The pacing was a little bit quick, but not overly fast or awfully slow. The transtitions were really great, and I liked how it was sort of her thoughts, then reality, then more thoughts and so on. Great job!
I really enjoyed it!Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! I definitely appreciate it!! I have been trying to work more description into my work, so I am pleased to see that I've gotten a bit better at conveying emotion, and I will continue to work on it even more. I also appreciate your comment on the pacing; I'm glad it didn't go unpleasantly quick for you. I'm also glad you liked the transitions; I tried to write it in a bit of a stream-of-consciousness format and I was afraid they wouldn't come through well. Thanks again so much, and glad you enjoyed it! :) Report Review
I really loved this story. Narcissa's emotions were very real, and I love how you painted her despair and her hope and that feeling of being lost, blindsided by losing even when you thought your side invincible. I would imagine that Narcissa would appreciate losing much more than any of the other Death Eaters, as the prospects for Draco leading a more peaceful life have a chance again. She can go home and rebuild, and not have to sit quietly by as Voldemort runs her home, killing people in it and keeping them prisoners there. Narcissa did right in the end, sparing Harry Potter, even if she was motivated to do so only because she wanted to see her son.
Such a shame, an embarrassment to a family who had once had it all. And now all they have is each other. This piece was very poignant and believable, and I could easily picture Narcissa looking around the Great Hall, feeling more than a little dazed by the situation that had occured within the past thirty-six hours, as well as a bit left out. So many people were rejoicing because Voldemort was gone. Even if they had lost family and friends in the battle, at least they knew that they had fought for the good side all along, that they had made efforts to destroy Death Eaters. Narcissa and Lucius cannot say that. They have to live with knowing that they'd poisoned their son, that they'd committed great evils. But then again, Narcissa may have even more reason to feel relief than any of the others. None of them had had to stare at Voldemort all day long, fearing that he might lose his temper at any second and kill them. The victory is on her side, too, even though she cannot yell and clap and join in their laughter. Narcissa got her life back. She's free.
Wonderful writing, I thoroughly enjoyed it. I think you have a very strong understanding of Narcissa and her family after the battle. I appreciated the little details like Arthur helping Lucius move Bellatrix's body - I can't imagine anything humbling Lucius more than that, after he gloried in belittling Arthur for years. It really shows the power of kindness, and how everyone starts off on the same level again after everyone's world is torn down. They all have to rebuild together, and leave the past in the past.Author's Response: Oh my, thank you for this very thoughtful and humbling review! I could never hope to write Lucius and Narcissa as elegantly as you, dearie, but I'm so glad you enjoyed this little piece.
I agree that the Malfoys are put in a unique position at the close of the second war; they indeed cannot rejoice openly with Harry and his supporters, and yet they longer fit in as Death Eaters either. They are accustomed to being at the pinnacle of the food chain, and now they are simply alone, left off to the side as an afterthought in the midst of the celebration and cleanup. With little pieces like Arthur and Andromeda, I wanted to emphasize that Narcissa cannot yet (or possibly ever) truly appreciate the kindness of her former foes in the wake of all of the loss she experienced. She lived in one role for so long that she can't imagine having to start over from nothing. Yet she uses her formerly unnoticed strength to carry her family at the end, choosing to appreciate what she still possesses rather than dwelling on what she must leave in the past. It's interesting, after Lucius having been in charge for so long, to see her rise up as a new source of strength for her broken family. All in all, I just think there is more to her than meets the eye, and I wanted to celebrate that in this piece.
Thanks so much for the review! It made my day! :)
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This was so beautiful. I think you have really personified Narcissa perfectly. It is wonderfully written and one of the best one-shots I have read in a long time.
Definitley one of the best what-happens-after-the-battle stories I have ever read.
Ellie :)Author's Response: Wow, thank you! That was an incredibly flattering compliment, though I'm not entirely sure that my humble little effort deserves such unequivocal praise :) I am so glad that you can appreciate the sensitive touch I added to canon Narcissa. Thanks again for the review! :) Report Review
Hi! It's Ladybella here to review your entry for "The many faces of love challenge."
First and foremost, I really enjoyed this! I must admit im not much of a Malfoy fan and when I seen this was a story about them I was rather apprehensive! However im pleased to say you converted me to being more open to the idea of reading Malfoy fics because this was very enjoyable!
I loved how you made the cold and untouchable Narcissa very vulnerable and as a reader you could really empathise with her, to the point of feeling quite bad that Bellatrix was dead, (and being a major Sirius Black fan, making me feel sorry Bellatrix dies is quite an achievement!)
I thought the characterisation was spot on, especially with Draco. And you used your quote for inspiration very well! The imagery was great! And I could almost taste the fruit with the way you wrote!
What I loved most was that you really did show "many faces of love" You showed a womans love for life, a mothers love for her son, a wife's love for her husband and grief!
Wonderful entry! Only downside was that I could have happily read on!
Thank you and look out for the results of the challenge on my blog in due course! :)
LadybellaAuthor's Response: Thank you for your thoughtful review!
I think fans are quite divided on their opinions of the Malfoy family, in that they sort of tend to adopt a 'love 'em or hate 'em' mentality. That said, I'm very pleased that you enjoyed the fic despite having reservations about the characters chosen. I have read some great Malfoy-centric fics on here and I do hope you give a few others a try! You never know :)
I've always personally felt that Narcissa was the most vulnerable of her sisters, being the youngest and also because I feel that it must have been difficult for her to lose Andromeda and sort of live in Bellatrix's shadow in order to remain in good graces with the rest of her family. Then she was dragged into this Death Eater mess by her husband and came very close to losing her son because of it. I really wanted to convey a sort of redemption for her in this fic; ironically, she has really lost the least out of the three Black sisters after this war. She and her family have a chance to live better lives, or at least keep living, whichever they choose, and she definitely feels relieved because of that.
I'm also a huge Sirius fan, though I do love the way HBC portrays Bella in the films :)
I've been trying very hard to work on my imagery, since it's one of my favorite parts of the fics I read, so I'm pleased that I pulled it off well for you. I'm also glad that my attempt to show many different types of love came through all right in the end.
Thanks again for reading and reviewing, and I anxiously await the results of the challenge!
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Hey, I loved your story. The characters were realistic and your story was amazing. I loved the 12 paragraph. It was written so beautifully and it was believeable. 10/10 :)Author's Response: Thank you very much! I tried very hard to stick to canon while at the same time showing a part of the final battle that JKR does not fully explore (at least how I interpret it to be). I'm flattered by your review, and if you like my writing, please feel free to check out some of my other work. Thanks again for your comments! :) Report Review
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