OMG this was such a sad fic but a really good read. I truly loved this. The way you wrote it was amazing. Gabrielle's feelings came through very brilliantly. I totally got myself lost in the story. The way you shifted between the past and present was perfect. The flow never broke. This was some very impressive writing I must say. The ending had me kind of shocked and sad. I felt bad for Gabrielle. Her characterization was really very good. Theodore's portrayal was spot-on too. I loved how the entire thing fit together. The grammar and everything was perfect too. This made a wonderful read. An amazing story I must say. I wish you would write a sequel to this, even another one-shot would do, but I am quite intrigued as to what turn things are going to take now. I really want Theodore and Gabrielle to have their happily ever after so it would be superb if you could do a sequel. Coming back, this fic was amazing as I said before and I really felt Gabrielle's pain and emotions. The intensity of it all was captured awesomely.
All in all, a very well-written fic.
end of an era review extravaganza: house cup 2011
Forum Name: AditiDraco95
house: SLYTHERIN Report Review
This is excellent! Great work.
I especially loved the twist at the end- I speak a little French but not enough to figure out that she was pregnant before she said so in English.Author's Response: thank you so much!!
tbh i had to utilise a translator since my knowledge of french has never needed to stretch to 'pregnant' before. Report Review
Poor Gabrielle, I can sympathize with her thinking because I can kinda understand it--she thinks that because she is so beautiful she can have whatever she wants: the job, the guy. I think you wrote her character very well with this one sort of imperfection, especially in the one part she talks about Daphne in a biased sort of way.
The only thing I think you can do to improve the story is kinda stregnthen the details within it. Like, go further into her previous unrequited loves. Why did she fall in love with Bill? Was it just because she was jealous of Fleur? Another example, is the office job she has for working with Theodore. Was it in the Ministry of Magic or somewhere else. Or even talk more about Theodore himself. If you're more specific, I think it'll really help to take the depth of this story to the next level.
Again, great job with this story! You've explored a unique range of characters and made Gabrielle very canon!Author's Response: thank you!! i'm so glad Gabrielle came over just the way i wanted to you! (saying she's like canon is actually making me jump up and down with excitement)
thanks for all the crit, i didn't really want to go into too much detail on the past loves because the focus was really on Theo but i'll definitely add more details on the other things you mentioned! Report Review
Wow, the ending really made your stomach drop. Your story had the script of a fairytale, it tells the story of a girl who falls in love with boys quite frequently and then she falls for the one. She finally gets the man of her dreams, but he won't call her the girl of his dreams because of his ugly fat wife. And then, I jsut loved how she revealed her pregnancy in French and it was a tragedy, because he didn't speak French, so he wouldn't ever understand…Author's Response: thank you! i'm really glad you liked it!
there's always Fleur and the rest of the Weasleys to make him understand, Gabrielle's very lucky in that way - not that she's going to appreciate it at the moment. Report Review
This is really a great story! Though there are a few things. Theodore was in my mind never handsome as he had been descibed very fragile. I would rather say Je t'aime or Je t'adore instead of Je adore tu, which is incorrect.
But I really like the story! Afer the deadline, I will announce the winners in my thread.
-Xxx- sweett_lovely_girlAuthor's Response: thank you!!
i've always imagined him as someone who grew into their looks slightly but Gabrielle thinks he's totally handsome, just like she thinks Daphne is ugly (it's the whole third person subjective thing).
thanks for catching the french as well! Report Review
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