Yay for the holiday swap! I finally got to finish this. (And, since I'm lame, I didn't leave a review on the last couple chapters, because I wanted to see what happened. Hopefully you can forgive me.)
I was wondering if you'd end with Euan killing himself. For a large part of the story I kind of thought you would, but the last couple chapters had me hoping that maybe he'd get a vaguely okay-ish ending. I'm glad you didn't go that way, though - letting people recover is also a valid choice, of course, but the finality of the way Euan's story ended really worked with the hopelessness that you communicated throughout.
So I was wondering about that. I was not, however, expecting you to finish up with Toby as a teenager. That said, I'm really glad you did - this was a perfect ending. It wasn't cheerful, not really, but there was an element of hope in it that I never got with Euan and that I don't think I should have gotten from Euan.
However, knowing that Toby really has turned out mostly okay took a little bit of the sting out of the rest of the ending, and I think without ending it this way, it would have lacked something. Toby was so much a part of this that without knowing what happened to him, it would have felt a bit unfinished, and I think that leaving a little room for hope is appropriate.
There were a couple little things throughout that I think you could have improved - there were some typos here and there, and during the trial in particular some of the language being used seemed a little off. However, that's pretty minor - what you have here is an excellent, gut wrenching story, and I think it was brilliant from start to finish. Thank you. Report Review
So I've been meaning to come back to this since I finished chapter 5, but I haven't really had the time. When I saw that the Second Task was a reviewing competition, though, this was one of the first things I thought of, so I'm back to review another chapter or two. :)
I feel like I'm just repeating myself when I say this, but I really love the opening section. I think my favourite part of it is actually the emphasis on moving forward, but it seems to me like you're not using forward to mean improvement - it feels like you're more using the word 'forward' as a way to say that you can't turn back the clock. I really like that, both as a general philosophy (for lack of a better word) and in terms of this story in particular. There is a sense of hope in it as well (especially in the closing section), but it's not all puppies and rainbows, you know?
Or maybe I'm reading things into it that you didn't really intend. :P
At any rate, I especially liked that theme in relation to the focus of this chapter: Toby. I know you say in your author's note that you'd originally intended to make this about Euan again, and I'm glad you didn't. Not that I don't like reading about Euan, obviously - it's just that I think that you're right, Toby did need this chapter, and it added dimensions to the story that you haven't really had the opportunity to show thus far.
I thought that you did an excellent job portraying Toby; there were a lot of little things (the "sleepovers," the red train, the letter at the end) that really helped to show just how young he is. He clearly doesn't understand everything, but he's confused and hurt by what he does understand, and for me, that's especially heartbreaking because he's so young. We've seen a lot about what Jessica has faced in previous chapters, but Toby's a different pov, and I think that showing him here really helped to enhance the story.
And, you know, break my heart.
Another excellent chapter. Report Review
It took me a while to get the courage to read this because I'm never really one for sad story's but I'm so glad I did.
This story is so amazing and soemotive. I don't think there was a single chapter that I didn't cry in. I had to go and get some tissue's halfway though to stop sniffing, I was so bad. I couldn't even see the screen though my tears at one point.
You're seriously an amazing author, I love everything that you write.
I'm going to end this review because I need to go on the hunt for some more tissues as I'm still sniffing. I really can't wait to see what you write next.Author's Response: Crescent Moon! Oh, I love your reviews so much and I was SO excited when I saw that you'd read this story! It's somewhat of a baby of mine and sometimes I get a tap upset about lack of read-ness, but then some people stepped in and-near doubled that to these levels. Ah, thank you so so so very much! This story really means a lot to me.
Hopefully you'll like whatever it is I write next :D
-AC Report Review
I have just read the whole thing over again and I still feel it's bloody amazing :D As we speak I am writing my own little Azkaban One-Shot type of thing and ths inspired me to do so. Hope you don't mind or anything o.o I'm mentioning this in the summary because by god it needs more reviews than this, this is just an oustanding piece of writing.
Please tell me if it's fine to post my one-shot :S
But this sory still gets ten trillion out of ten.Author's Response: Oh wow, thank you very much Snoopyy! I've always thought there should be more stories about Azkaban, so feel free! I'd feel honoured.
Thanks for asking and leaving me such a lovely review. You're wonderful :D Report Review
Wow. Human rights, a new side of your writing. Well, not exactly new, just new to me. This story is very powerful and has so much meaning. I really like how you didn't have Euan get better. I seems more real.
KEEP WRITING :DAuthor's Response: This story was always about Human rights to me and I'm so glad that you thought the ending was fitting. I loved writing this story so much. You're making me miss it xD Report Review
Yay, hopeful ending! :D I am eternally an optimist, what can I say? :P
I did think that Harry was going to be the benefactor from the beginning, especially after he made the appearance a couple chapters ago. It just seems like something he would do. Plus, he's got money to burn, so it seemed logical.
To be honest, I thought you wrote Harry pretty well. He was definitely recognizable as the character we know and love. (or at least, I love. I can't believe you hate the trio! Blasphemy!) Even more so, I was very impressed with the descriptions the other characters had of him. In particular:
"A man, Alfred supposed, who after years of being faced with unimaginable horrors and injustices had began to control his emotions – but never quite rein them in fully."
That has to be one of the best descriptions of adult Harry I've ever read. It just seems so perfectly like him. I mean, in OotP, we see what all of the horrors and injustices of his life are really doing to him. By DH, he's learned to rein them in a bit, and by this point, I'm sure he's even more in control, but I agree that he'll never be able to control his emotions fully. He's too passionate, too prone to letting his heart rule. Anyway, that was a great line. Bravo.
I was also really struck by this line:
"Maybe everyone learnt to bend their morals for the greater good, at some point in their life."
Maybe it was your use of 'the greater good', but it was just very striking. This is weird, but it reminded me a bit of the Spiderman "With great power, comes great responsibility" line. Harry and Hermione are these people who are still seen as heroes and have all this influence, and now they have to decide how to use it. Of course, Hermione would be in charge. Was there ever a doubt?
Jessica is beginning to annoy me a bit. I'm willing to cut her a bit of slack due to her obvious lack of knowledge about mental illness and the stress she's under, but seriously lady, they're trying to help your husband. Take a breath and stop jumping down everyone's throat!
*climbs off soap box* Sorry. This was a great chapter. I'm excited to see how it all ends. *cough*please beahappyending*cough*Author's Response: Hey there Singularity!
What is this optimism you speak of? It sounds interesting? Ahha. Angst writers anonymous is maah home.
It's not so much hating the trio, its more hating the fact that I don't have the ability to write them properly. All these people with trio fics it just baffles me and writing Harry here... I was so aware of everything and it was really hard for me. So that compliment about that line literally made my day, as it's something that I just think is insane hard.
Ah. I can't imagine Harry just to kick back after everything and just have a nice life with his kids - as much as he may deserve that - and Hermione, too, I think they'd want to keep fighting for WHAT IS RIGHT and stuffs.
Poor Jessica, she's had a lot to deal with. But you're right - she's the type to lash out for definate :)
Thanks for such a lovely review! I'm so glad you've kept up with this story :D
AC Report Review
Oh my goodness. I don't even know what to say. This chapter is so fantastically done. You've done such a brilliant job with writing Euan's mental illness and his family's reaction. Seriously, it's so very realistic. And it's so utterly heart wrenching. Euan used to be this good dad and good husband, and he wants nothing more than to be that again, but he can't. He's not that person anymore. How do you cope with that?
The language you use and the story flow are as hauntingly beautiful as always. You just have such a way with words. It's incredible.
I so very much want a happy ending for everyone, despite how unrealistic that is, especially with the way this chapter ended. I'm still going to cross my fingers for some miracle spell to be discovered that will fix everything.Author's Response: Ah! I'm so glad that you enjoyed it! Not to sound perverse, but mental illness is something I'm fascinated in - particularly because I've lived with it in my house for most of my life. He's caught up in it all, because he can't physically be the person he wants to be.
Ahhh, thank you so much. Well, I can't promise you a happy ending but, well, I hope that it isn't too bad :)
AC Report Review
I read the entire chapter without crying and then once I thought 'I have to write a review' the tears came because there aren't enough words that I can think of to fully explain how I feel.
I'd like to say I'm glad Toby turned out normal and that Euan, oh poor Euan, never got to return to the life he so desperately tried to cling to.
But more importantly I'd like to say thank you, thank you for writing this. For expanding beyond the norm and writing something so painful and so heartbreaking but it really makes you think, it really moves you to the point where you don't want to to move you anymore.
I'm just...I have no words.Author's Response: I'm sorry about making you cry, Deeds, but I'm so glad that it effected you and ah thank you for this lovely review! I'm going to save it and protect it forever and yeah.
I couldn't have not made Toby okay physically, I didn't have that sort of ending within me but... I wanted this to be a /make you think/ sort of story and well, I think that I got there :)
Thank you so much!
AC Report Review
NO! They won, yes, I'm happy about that, they deserved to win and Prichard, was just awful but that's how it is in cases, isn't it. I'm really interested to know how you were able to weave all this information together and form a very sound case. Are you interested in law? Did you do any extensive research when writing this chapter?
The ending. I was...I was certain he would see Toby and maybe, just maybe, a bit of light would have found Euan and he would have been able to hold on a little longer but that ending.
I'm not sure if I'll be able to handle the next chapter. What are you doing to me?!Author's Response: Research. ah, I'm going to sound pretty terrible now but I actually didn't do any extensive research or anything and I know nothing about law, really, so this is like a huge WINGING IT sort of thing, but I have a really clear of idea of how this scene should be from the very beginning of the story so...
I'm really sorry, ahha. Good luck with the next chapter! Report Review
I'm sad I wasn't around for the end of 'A' month and that I haven't been around to read the newest chapters. It's exciting to come back and jump into this because this story has really left an impression on me.
I knew Harry was the benefactor, it just made sense but I never understood why and now I do. I don't care if he's OOC, I don't care if it's canon. I care about Euan and Toby more, you know? Harry is important to the story but Euan...Merlin...it'll break my heart if he doesn't get better and I don't think he will, you seem to be setting us up for that.
I figured he would try and kill himself and for a second, as I read the opening to the chapter I thought he had succeeded.
It's just so hard to wrap my head around everything that happens in this story. It's an emotional rollercoaster for me when I'm reading this. I can't begin to imagine what it's like for you when you're writing this.Author's Response: Eee! I've been so excited for you to come back and read the rest of this story and I'm so glad that you're here now :)
Harry, I think everyone knew but I'm okay with that, ahha. You get a bit of confirmation here though.
See, this is really cathartic for me and a way to push out all these emotions and feels that I have into a story and, well, I love writing it. I loved writing every little bit of it :D Report Review
That. Was. Just. Wow.
Really! That was excellently, awesomely, fantastically, marvelously, wonderfully, superbly, divinely, exquisitely, perfectly, remarkably, sensationally, brilliantly BRILLAINT! I think I still haven't used enough adjectives to describe the ending. I think that italics at the end were just glorious. They were a perfect way to end the story! I couldn't have asked for another awesome-er! =D
Okay over to the actual review now. =P I think that there couldn't have been a better end to the story. I've already said in my previous review that Euan's end was getting obvious and well, just what I thought would happen. But then again, if you hadn't killed him, if wouldn't have been as realistic and sensible as the rest of your story has been. It makes me feel very very sad to know that with Euan, your story has now ended too. I didn't know it until now, but I had fallen in love with this particular story. To think that you could make your readers fall in love with your stories and characters in just ten chapters, it's just amazing. Really, very good job! =)
I'm so glad that Toby turned out normal. If something traumatic had happened to him, I would've cried. I mean, after everything Euan did to keep him safe and away form harm, I think that Toby deserved a normal life and I'm very very very happy that he got one. Even when the memories won't leave him and will probably torture him for the rest of his life, I think that he turned out very well. The way you described the relationship with his mother was also very good too. I think that by the looks of it, Jessica has done a good job with Toby and has made sure that Euan's son is not afraid, ashamed or scared of his father. Great job with that.
I loved the entire chapter's set up. I think that the fact that Toby loves History is brilliant. I personally love History too =) So there's a Lydia there in the equation too, eh? =P Haha, I liked her. I think that she's a very good for Toby and has been characterised well. Her soft personality and her sweet dialogues felt very familiar and had a very good feel to them =) Great idea, bringing her in like this. =)
The part where Jessica narrates the entire scene about what had actually happened, all that was just... wow. I think that I could actually feel it happening, could actually see how they all had been feeling at that time; could feel Euan's desperation, Jessica's despair, Toby's screams, everything. And then you blended Jess's words into actually memories. It all flowed extremely well and had a wonderful feel about it. I was pulled into the story and I could've sworn that had there been just a few more words, I would've started crying. A very very good job.
After the awesome ending to an awesome story, I feel like I haven't praised you enough. It has been a remarkable journey since the start and I feel really proud to have been a part of this story since the first chapter. I'm extremely grateful to you for requesting this story =) Thank you. And if you feel that you need to hear more appreciative words from me, all you have to do is ask! =P
Ah, I don't feel like ending this review. Because then that would mean the end of the story and that would make me more sad. *sighs* Okay I think I've said enough. Really FABULOUS job with the story. KEEP IT UP! I hope you bring similar stories for us in the future. =) Good Luck for everything and Happy Writing! =DDAuthor's Response: There was a lot of lovely adjectives there :D
I knew from about chapter two that I wouldn't be able to write this story with Euan surviving everything, simply because I think it would take someone incredible strong to actually survive. It just wouldn't have been feasible for him to recover fully, so... it had to happen. I fell in love with this story too! It is very short compared to a lot of the stories I've written and, ah, I think I've done quite a lot in these short ten chapters. I'm pretty proud :D
I couldn't have messed up Toby, he was just so innocent and perfect and there's nothing that could have brought me to make things anymore difficult for him. Even if I thought there was no realistic way for him to be okay, I'd still make him okay. A lot of things have happened to him and, in my head, he sort of mirror's Euan - only at the point he doesn't have anything that could push him over the edge because it isn't so wholly invested in anything, like Euan was with Toby. And I think that he'll be just fine :)
I like history and, well, it just seemed a very Toby thing to enjoy. Oh, Lydia. She's cute. And she was needed for the plot.
Jessica! She gets to narrate a little more here and, well, I always knew that I'd start from the beginning, so to speak, and I liked the whole rounded ~voices~ that Euan used to here, and now Toby's listening to them and... yeah.
I'm so glad that you've been part of this story too! This is definitely the first time I've requested reviews for a story from the beginning to the end and your reviews were lovely all the way through.
Thank you for such a lovely review and I@m really glad you enjoyed it! :D Report Review
Hey! This is apocalypse, here with your review!
Wow. Seriously. Amazing! That was pretty intense! It all sounded exactly like it would in a real court during a real hearing. I think that you did a very very good job with it all. The entire flow of it was brilliant and the way you connected all the questions of the lawyers, with the answers of the witnesses, that was simply genius. Seriously. I know nothing about law and courts and stuff but whatever I do know from movies and stuff, this seemed just as realistic as it's in books and movies. Really good job!
Okay, this may sound very weird and maybe wrong, seeing as how every one of your readers dislikes Prichard, but I have to say that I actually liked his addition in the story. Of course, it's too bad that Euan had to face him during his trial and had to answer to the insensitive man, but that aside, I think that it's a wonderfu; thing for you that you've created such a character that raises such strong emotions in people. That's a very huge achievement and you should be proud of it. =) Also, considering the entire trial, I think that Prichard was a pretty good lawyer. He did a very good job in trying to prove his point and winning the case. I was actually pretty impressed with him at certain points. I don't know if it's good or bad but I really admired his ability to take an answer and to twist it in such a way that he sounds like the right one and the witness turns wrong. Really good job with him! =)
Hmm, Hermione. Interestingly, I think that she was pretty good too, but for me, her dialogues and her presence were overshadowed by that of Prichard. That could be because the chapter was from Euan's point of view who did not feel intimidated by Hermione like he did with Graham so you know, he concentrated more on the latter. However, I do feel like Hermione should have been more prominent, more enthused. Her aura wasn't really all over the place, if you know what I mean? She's the defense lawyer and is fighting for much more than just Euan so I thought that there could have been a bit more of a display of steel from her. I don't know if you know what I mean. Anyway, it's just an opinion and now that there story's finished, I think that you can stick with what you've written and the way you've written it. =)
Euan. Oh, Euan. Euan! Ah, sorry. =P But my heart just breaks for him! I think that I can see his end coming at this point and I feel like I need to hug him close so that he just doesn't feel what he's feeling. You have done an AMAZING job with his character. You're probably more attached to him than anybody (Well, DUH, he's your character =P) but trust me when I say it, there are a whole load of people having the same attachment with Euan like you or I do =) His emotions, his despair, his feelings, they all feel like they're mine too. You've written him so brilliantly. You know, there are some emotions that a person can't feel before their time or if they're not meant to feel them. For instance, I canNOT ever fully imagine how a father would feel for his son; I think that your interpretation of that relationship in the form of Toby and Euan, is actully how I'd imagine it to be like. You've captured the essence of their father/son relation very well and have displayed it even more wonderfully through your words. Really. Well done!
I think that Jessica has been a very good support for Euan despite her character and her issues with him. For me, she's done everything she could have without hurting anybody more than they already were and she's suffered just as much as they all have. You've done a good job with her too. In the end, even if I cannot say that I like her, I can definitely say that I understand her and feel her sorrow too. On the other hand, I think that the little twist you added in the shape of Alfred was interesting. I do agree that what he said was absolutely right and he couldn't possibly have lied. He gave his professional opinion, which according to me, was the right thing to do, despite what his words would do for Euan's life.
One thing that I thought I should mention as a separate thing. I do think that what Hermione was fighting for was right and that she had picked a very good case for her point to be proved, but I also think that there should have been more she should have asked for rather than just asking for compensation and justice. For some reason, I had thought that she wold demand another separate prison for people like Euan; people who had committed or would commit minor crimes and could not be asked to serve such as severe sentence as Azkaban. I don't know why, but I had believed, actually believed that she would ask for another separate prison to be built. I don't know if you agree with me; it's just what I had thought was sort of obvious and would definitely happen.
Well, I think I've said too much in this particular review. I'll be reviewing the next chapter in a while too. =) I can't believe this story has finally come to an end. Can't wait to see how you end it =) I hope you like this review. I've probably written to much but eh, what can I do? I love to say everything I have on mind. Turns out, I did have a lot =PAuthor's Response: Apocalypse! You know I absolutely love you, right? This is such a beautiful review and it was wonderful to arrive home and find this waiting for me. Sorry for taking a long time to respond, it was just so long and beautiful that I wanted to do the job properly.
As a person who's never been to court and has also hasn't seen that many court hearings on TV or anything this was entirely based off my preconceptions, so I'm sure if a lawyer read this they'd laugh at me but I'm really glad that you thought it was realistic, ahha!
Prichard! I really enjoyed writing him, partially because he is so loathsome. But, if he'd been on Euan's side he'd be just as brutal and vicious in his defense of Euan - I guess that's just being lawyer. He was really fun to write and I'm glad that you sort of liked him. He was fun :D
I think that Hermione probably did come off as weaker but see, I have a great deal of... I don't know, I just know that I couldn't be a lawyer because sometimes I'd have to fight for things I didn't believe in, or be more brutal than I'd necessarily want to be, so I guess that's probably that coming through. I just couldn't write Hermione as absolutely ruthless as the others.
Oh, Euan. He's been one of my babies since day one and it's pretty hard to look back on this now it's finished and... well, I don't get to write about his story anymore. It almost feels okay though, but. ah, the feels. I enjoyed writing those a lot. But, you're right - I have no idea what it feels like to be a father or a parent or anything, so perhaps I'll look back at this one day and think of it as slightly wrong, but... heh.
Oh Jessica, bless her heart. I shoved her in an impossible situation and I guess it was only natural that there should be some cracks in her facade, but oh, dear. I'm feeling all emotional now. Poor Alfred, I'm sure he felt bad about that for a very long time after the trial but... he couldn't lie. I wouldn't be right.
Oh, see in my head this was always the first step of a much larger thing. That there was going to be a few court cases, then she was going to push forwards a bill with some of the things you were suggesting - just making sure that she had the attention of the world and stuff before she pushed forward on the big picture, and there's quite a bit about that in the last chapter.
Thanks for such a lovely review and I definitely loved it :)
Oh my goodness…I never cease to be amazed by your writing! This was so beautiful, amazing, awe inspiring….just wow.
You take your time to pull in details, small ones that everyone seems to overlook, like the spider. Rarely do people stop, myself included, to watch a spider crawl its way up a wall to make a web. It’s not something I think is dreadfully entertaining, yet the way you bring the spider in, opening and closing this chapter, is really awesome. It not only ties the chapter together, but carries that same sense as the last chapter. Alone. Stuck. Prison. And just…I loved the detail, the metaphor, all of it.
And that carries throughout the chapter. You put in so much detail, so much description, yet it never seems over whelming. It just seems like it belongs, like it was meant to be there. It gives in to the stream of consciousness and really lets the story just flow. And it flows so well that I get totally lost while reading it. I could probably go on and read all the chapters and not realize how long I had been reading. It really is great!
I also love the characterization that comes with all the detail. I think it’s because the story is first person, told from the perspective of someone actually having spent months in Azkaban, but I feel like I understand the breakdown of Euan mind, how very scared and disconnected he can be from society some times. It gives me chills, with how real the whole thing feels from the way you wrote it….It really is fantastic.
I did find a couple nitpicky things that I thought I would mention:
“So did I,” He said, opening a draw and holding the parchment up before returning it.” –I think you meant ‘drawer’ instead of ‘draw’.
“The fact that you are unable to escape the very worst of yourself and they very worst of people, until you believe that happiness cannot possibly exist.” – You have the word ‘they’ in this sentence and I believe you meant ‘the’.
“I’m not... I’m not right. I’m not being fair too her.” –‘to’ instead of ‘too’
“What was the name of then me in the cell’s adjacent to yours?” –I think you intended this question to read ‘what was the name of the men in the cell’s adjacent to yours?”
I know those are really nitpicky, but I tend to read things like an editor…but really, even with those few things, I LOVED this chapter. It really was fantastic. The description, the imagery, just everything…excellent. Hopefully I’ll be back soon to read more! Great job!
~GrimmerzAuthor's Response: Hey there! First off I'm so sorry that it's taken me a criminal amount of time to respond to this review, I just wanted to make sure I had enough time to give you a proper an eloquent response and so now I'm ignoring my revision and hitting this like it's fresh (I need to stop hanging out with my friends with silly accents, her phrases are infectious). Okay, so, now I've rambled on about nothing for a great length of time... TO YOUR REVIEW.
E I love you! You're wonderful :D
^ 'not dreadfully entertaining' ahhha, I know have a vision of someone very easily entertained just being like LOOK AT THAT SPIDER and everyone just being like. uhh...
One of the things about this story is I just succumbed to my usual desire just to go on a mad one with the description, so it's good that it isn't overwhelming - because I think every so often we're very much in danger of it being like STOP DESCRIBING THINGS NOW PLEAASSEEE. So, yaayy.
Thanks for all those nitpicky things! When I edit chapters, I copy and paste all the reviews I've received and then delete all the compliments and work from there so, really, this is really very helpful and you're making me want to edit now... but I'll resist, got lots of reviews to respond to!
Thanks for being patient and waiting for my response and being understand and such, and thanks for a lovely review!
-AC Report Review
Perfect way to finish it, well done. I loved the glimpse of Toby as an older boy finding his way in life. He turned into a great kid. :)
This is one of my favourite stories ever. I have loved every bit of it - even the bits I also hated. Perhaps especially those bits.
Just perfect. :)Author's Response: Ah, Jen! I'm really glad that you enjoyed it. I loved writing this chapter and I was so excited to have gotten to the end with it. Eee! Thank you so much! It's one of my favourite that I've written (my favourite that I've completed, for sure).
AC Report Review
Helllo again, well I loved how we got to see toby in hogwarts and aww I think lydia was brill :D I'm gutted about Euan ! But overall I really loved this story it was excellent and nothing like I've ever read before, very unique which I REALLY enjoyed so thank you for that ! As its not everyday you come across a story like this so well done AGAIN :D can't wait to finish reading the rest of your work:D so lots of love from scotland. cally xxAuthor's Response: HEY CALLY (I'm so glad you decided to read this story, you would not believe). I loved Lydia and /oh Toby/ my heart. Poor Euan.
I'l glad you enjoyed it though! I'm really glad you found it, as I like to think it's one of my more special storys. Lots of love from a part of england -ninja face-
Ac xxx Report Review
Oh my...I can't even...I'm at a complete and total loss for words right now. There's so much I want to say...only you could make me love a story so much, especially one that's only 10 chapters. Just wow.
One thing I'm insanely glad about now that this is finished is that I was here from the start. Maybe it was 2 chapters up when I started reading it, maybe just 1, but I got to experience that same excitement for every new chapter. And for this story, what really made it amazing, was that a new chapter would roll along and it /still/ wouldn't be happy. Euan would still be completely messed up, and some part of me didn't even want it to be happy. But you kept me reading. I couldn't stop reading this story.
Not only was it beautifully written and the characters so perfectly fleshed out in such a short span of time, but you managed to portray a theme. You made a huge statement about human rights in this, and I'm not even sure if this was your original intention, but it made the cruelties that happen even in the real world feel so /real/. I've read the articles about cruelty in prisons and the inhumane stuff people do, but your story is the first thing that's made me feel like it happened to my father. I could put myself in Toby or Jessica's shoes and it was like Euan was part of my family. I could feel their pain as he just kept deteriorating. I don't think I've ever taken away more from a story than I did with this. It not only was an excellent read, but it was one of the rare stories that really made me think.
Oh, and then I must talk about the ending. I know I've already given you my hopes for the ending so many times, and this didn't disappoint. Going into this, I thought that Euan would either have to recover or kill himself. There could be no medium for him. Now that I've read it, I'm so glad it was the latter. Oh god, that sounds so sadistic! No, no, I'm NOT glad he killed himself. That was horrible and cruel and so sad! But it was the perfect ending. It really was the culmination of everything. All the heart breaking moments, the glimmers of hope, and then the crushing sadness again all ended with THIS. I love the way you just stated it flat out. In some weird way, that just made it worse than if you had shown Toby sobbing his eyes out. Just the way he accepted it made me feel ten times worse, and that's when I started crying.
I am really glad, though, that Toby was able to get through it. He, at least, isn't messed up because if there was one character I loved through this, it was Toby. Toby was the character that would really tug at my emotions, because he was too young to be going through so much. He didn't deserve to lose his innocence so early, and I'm so glad to see that he's still able to live a normal life despite his past. If there was a character in this who really deserved a happy ending, it was Toby.
Ooh, and now this Lidya person is in the picture...? :D Good for you, Toby!
If Toby had been ruined though, I can tell you right now that I would have been crushed. I would have been found curled in a ball on my bed wailing and muttering about how cruel the world is :P So thank you for at least giving him something that resembles a happy ending.
I know you mentioned to me earlier that you wanted to try and make your ending real, and you've done just that. It wasn't overly sappy or overly dramtic as it very well could have been. Epilogues have a tendency to be really sappy and unecessary, and this wasn't. It wasn't trying to show all the happiness or drama that came after Euan's ordeal, but it instead just showed a little piece of life after his death. You revealed everything you needed to in just a normal day of Toby's life, and that's what made this so special. After all the insane amounts of figurative language and all of that in the past 9 chapters, it was a great finishing touch to end with something so direct and so real. The perfect finsishing perspective.
OKAY LAST THING I PROMISE. Wait...crap...just forgot what I wanted to say. GIVE ME A MOMENT. (AND I'VE BEEN COHERRENT THROUGH THE WHOLE THING. I KNEW IT WOULDN'T LAST.) Oh yeah...I remembered...the italics at the end from all the previous chapters came about a hair's width away from beating the last two paragraphs of TAOB, which to this day remains the best thing I have ever read. It finally, FINALLY, all made sense and came together and then that last line was just so EPIC.
You are an absolutely amazing author. In fact, I don't think there's a word out there that can possibly hope to describe your level of awesomeness. So I shall invent one.
You are AMAWEFANSUDIBLE. Oh yeah. A mix of awesome, amazing, fantastic, super, and incredible. Amawefansudible. We can totally make this catch on :D
Thank you for one of the best reads of my life. These past chapters have all been absolutely amawerfansudible and I'm going to stop typing now before my fingers fall off and also so you don't have to anticipate anymore.
No really, I mean it. I'm going to stop now.
I can't frolic in a meadow after this, though, which seems to be how I end all my reviews for you. Um...instead, I think I'll go curl up in a corner and cry.
But that's a depressing way to end a review. I'll just send you and Toby a million gallons of love.
If you can even put love in a gallon.
OKAY I MEAN IT THIS TIME. I'M GOING TO SHUT UP NOW.
I love you and thank you once more ♥
-NaidaAuthor's Response: This story is really short. Like, ten chapters for me is just... Well, I've updated five chapters in a day before (the queue was short)...so ten chapters is like a blip really, but I've felt so connected to this story.
I was here from the very start too ;) No, but seriously though, it's been so lovely to have you here from the beginning. I wont go into how amazing you are now, but if wasn't for you + the other readers who religiously reviewed this story + told me that you loved it, well, I swear I would have still finished it... but it would have taken a lot longer. I mean, I owe you a lot. You nominated this story for a Dobby - the biggest Azkaban boost ever. So, I've been able to experience the excitement of waiting for you to read each chapter and feel your reaction. It's been incredible. I've love waiting to know what you thought with each chapter & I'm honored that you decided to stick with it to the bitter end :D
Ohmygosh, no one's ever given me such a writing compliment. See, I've come to decide that writing is my voice for things. I get angry about a lot of things that I can't change, and I've said time and time again that if I could ever just get someone to think about some of the things that daily get me angry then I could die happy.Thanks to you I can say I've done that (that may sound dramatic, but I'm deadly serious - I can think of nothing I'd rather leave the world with than knowing than passing on a small portion of my perspective onto someone else). But, yeah, it was definitely my intention to go into rights & injustice and the way people just pass over it. The problem is people just decided that they can't do anything, so why should they care - I think caring is a huge start.
THEN ENDING. Oh Euan, he was cursed from the moment he set foot in the place.There wasn't any doubt in my mind about his future; I'm glad that you got that. Although we do now find ourselves in the uncomfortable position where I've got two completed multi-chapter stories on the archives, & both of my MCs were doomed from the start. I swear it's not a habit! Honest! Writing the ending to this, ah, I was so proud of it whilst I was writing so thankyousosomuch. It wasn't originally going to be like this, but then it was. I'm glad it was.I didn't think anyone would cry in this one! Ha! Go tears. Should I be glad about that? I wish I'd kept a tear-tally :D
I couldn't have done that to Toby. Toby's untouchable. Of course, everything had an effect on him - but it's almost been a good thing for Toby's character. I love Toby. I'm actually gutted that I only got to really focus on him for two chapters, because I honestly admire him (that's stupid right, because I made him up? He feels real though, + I'm okay with being crazy). Anyway, Toby, he's strong (+ very like Euan). He'll get through it :D
I'D NEVER CRUSH YOU LIKE THAT NAIDA. I aim for all endings to be bittersweet, but sometimes people miss the sweet bit.
Real ending! Points for AC. I always knew that everyone was going to get the full Euan-attacks-ministry-official side of the story here (it felt so cyclic and round!), but the rest of the events weren't going to be found out through Toby (and a side order of Lydia). Life always goes back to normal in the end and I guess I wanted to capture that.
AHAIR'SWIDTHAWAYFROMBEATINGTAOB? I might write that in the summary, ahha. Eeee, that's such a huge compliment on so many levels (about how much you liked TAOB, too) and so yes, bemybestfriendforever - yeah?
When I've published a real book (lolololol stop dreeaaminngg) I'm going to put your name at the front. Because, really, you're amawefansudible and your support has been invaluable. Honestly. (we /will/ make it catch on. I'm going to just drop into all of the updates and just act like it's a real word untill people just embrace it and go with it. Then the dictionary people will come searching).
Oh my god. I have no idea how you do this, how you write such heartbreaking yet beautiful stories and how you tie up your loose ends so elegantly and how you make me care about all your characters so much but hnng I don't know but don't stop because I would like to flail over all your stories FOREVER.
Seriously, though, there is literally nothing that I disliked about this chapter and I'm actually really sad that this is the last review I'll ever write for this, ever. I think this might be one of my favorite stories that you've written (though it's got some stiff competition :P) but you've taken something so dark and just made it... not light, but beautiful. In its own way. I dunno. -flails-
I loved that this was Toby and god, I love Toby too. And he's so brave and I could so see where Euan was present in him. Also loved how you talked about the whole 'quiet-brave' because I think that's my favorite too - because there's more to being brave than jumping off of the Astronomy Tower. I think that's sort of the difference between bravery and courage - doing the difficult stuff, you know?
...let's just say that your Toby is actually one of the most admirable characters ever and I love him lots.
I was glad to finally know what 'the incident' was - I'm kinda glad we didn't find out till now, because I think it wrapped everything up nicely. And then, all the sudden, everything made sense, the final puzzle piece and gah. EUAN. My heart broke. :/
My heart also broke when I found out Euan was dead. Euaneuaneuaneuan :( :( :( And it's so heartbreaking because he'd won, but he hadn't really, and there was a part of him that never made it back from Azkaban and gah.
And then the ending. That last line. So. Perfect. Everything's going to be okay. ♥ ♥ I almost saw Toby as writing the story, in a way - it was something that flashed through my mind as I was reading it. I sort of liked the idea that he managed to write about it later on so... I guess I've adopted that into my head canon?
I'd apologize for leaving such a lengthy ramble but I honestly couldn't care less at this point because I love this story so much. I'm so proud that you finished it! YOU ROCK ♥ This is honestly so, so beautiful and it's been such a pleasure to read and... well, I'm just really glad I found it. Let's leave it at that.
You've written another marvelous story and I will forever be telling people to read this, because if they're not... they're missing out.
♥ ♥ ♥ I present to you my long ramble of fangirling love!Author's Response: HANNNAAHHH. Sorry for bullying you into reviewing, ahha, I was just sat there continually refreashing being like I NEED TO KNOW THAT IT WAS OKAY so thank you very much for being the first review on the last chapter of this story and AHHH thank you :D
Eee, I actually loved writing this chapter and whilst I was writing it it certainly felt perfect to me and that was a good feeling to me. Maybe in a years time I'll look back at it and tear it all apart, but right now I'm going to think of this as the favourite things I've written for ages and ages and ages and ages.
TOBY. I could see Euan in him so much through like, well, Euan was never clever or extraordinary - he just sort of got on with things untill something made him snap (although, if you ask me that does make someone extraordinary but... well) and then Toby has sort of got part of his old mannersim and the quiet-brave and resillence and I've never loved a characters so much as I love Toby. Well, maybe thats a lie. But I do love him. My /heart/.
There was no other way for Euan, twas always the way it was going to be (Iwillnotkilloffallmymaincharacters.Iwillnotkilloffallmymaincharacters). Hehe, I actually wanted you to have the option of you deciding whether or not Toby might have written it or not, so you can freely have it as your head canon if you like.
Thank you veyr much. YOU ROCK. I'm really glad you found it too. Do tell people to read it! The awesomeness of such a thing will probably kill me, but I'm down with that.
AND IF I COULD WORK OUT HOW TO POST THE LITTLE HEARTS IN REVIEWS YOU'D BE DROWWNNING IN LOVVVEEE.
AC Report Review
Hey! This is apocalypse, here with your second review!
I think that I'll focus on characterisation for the most part of this review. Starting with Richard Abercrombie, I think that you've done a great job with him by making him realise of his weakness. It's interesting how he sort of blames himself for his son's anguish when it's not really he's done. His feelings have been written very nicely. You have a great talent for writing emotions and relating them all to the situations of your characters; I really admire that about your writing. =)
Moving on to Alfred: Well, he's a very good helper of theirs and I really like his constant presence. You've made him very sweet and co-operating; he was the most patient with Euan and that patience and tolerance is obvious in his actions that you write so excellent job with him! =)
Harry: I think that this is the one that you're having most problems with, aren't you? I know, he's a tricky canon character to write about and its pretty easy to get off base with him. Anyway, in your story, I think you've managed to pull of his character to some extent. The maturity that's expected to be in his character is there. However, I do have a few things that I think could've been better. For instance, if Harry's such an important Auror at the Ministry, I think that he's be more professional and appear as an authoritative figure. You might say that that would clash with his original character but I don't think it will. You have to add and transform a person's personality according to your story and making him sound a bit more like a person whose important. I hope you know what I mean.
Moreover, there were occasions where I felt that you were trying to make his characteristics too obvious and were mentioning them too much. I mean, yes, he can't help but save people but I don't think that there's any need to say it out; plus, we also know that Harry doesn't really acknowledge the good stuff that he does but making him give credit to Hermione again and again seemed like a little too much; I think that only once or twice is sufficient.
These are the only discrepancies I had with Harry's character. Apart from these, he's fine and has proved to be a good addition to your story. I think that the fact that Harry was the benefactor had gotten pretty obvious but still, for the record, it was a good idea and you pulled it off well. So keep it up! =)
Aah, I can't wait to see how you end this! The entire plot is going very well and you're doing a great job with maintaining everyone's characters. I think that your description and detail are great; they make me wanna read on and on. As always, the beginnings and ends are epic, they always take my breath away =)
I think this is it from me at the moment. Oh, and I didn't mean to offend you in any way by this review; just voicing my opinion. Anyhoo, don't forget to re-request! Until next time, Good Luck and Happy Writing! =DAuthor's Response: Hey there Apocalypse! I'll respond to this one first so you don't think I'm offended or anything, ahha. This is exactly what I needed, really. My canon fear was most made humungousified with the whole /Harry/ thing becuse, well, who isn't terrified of writing Harry?
So yeah, part of the reason why things are started so obviously - like you said - is because I got all panicked and potentially tried a little bit too hard to make him as Harry as I physically could, hence the slight stating of the obvious (ahha) so, at some point I'll go back and try to take that out a little bit. Back to my usual show not tell philosophy, ahha.
Authority figures. Okay, got it. It's like... it's so hard because I wanted him to be older and more mature but still /Harry/ and as he isn't one of my own creations I ddidn't know quite now to do that. But yeah, this review was really really helpful and don't think I'm offended at all! I'll be going back and editing as soon as I have the chance with this in mind.
Thank you so much for all your help! :)
AC Report Review
I know I said that last chapter's opening section was my favourite so far, and I think it's still true, but I loved this, too. I like the glimpse into Jessica's mind, especially right on the heels of the last chapter. It reveals a lot about her, and it also reveals a lot about Euan. The only thing I didn't love was the last last sentence: It is a pity that he was your fairy god mother too. I wasn't really sure what this meant, and it was a bit too confusing rather than intriguing for me. I mean, it was still intriguing, but I just would have liked a little more context, you know?
If that makes any sense.
I loved the comparison of Euan to a dementor. I can absolutely see how that would be the case, and I loved the depth and perspective this gives to his torment and the effect of Azkaban not only on people imprisoned there but also on the people who love them. This is just a perfect, perfect, perfect story about the intricacies of mental health. Assuming there are Dobbys again this year, I need to nominate this for something, because it is seriously perfect.
I am so, so glad that you included this chapter.
I also want to say that I totally know what you mean about writing major canon characters - it always makes me nervous, too, but I think that you pulled it off well. :)
(I am so unhelpful as a reviewer. Sorry.)Author's Response: AHIDOJSOIDJSXKNSAOIDISHIADHOIHIhIJOSK. THank you so much! This is one of the stories I'm most proud of, like, I really do just /love it/ so I'm really glad that other people like it too! I just, like a couple of months ago this story had about half the number of reads, less than half of reviews and I was more or less convinced that there were only three people reading it... which made me sad, because I loved it so much. You know what I mean?
Ahha, it doesn't surprise me that the imagery sometimes gets off base... as I tend to enjoy it too much and go off on tangents that only make sense in my head. When I edit (and oh, I WILL edit at some point) I'll be sure to do soemthing with that line - whether it be removing it or adding another bit to it.
Ee. You know me and my love of writing about mental health, so that means /a lot/. Thank you so much :D
AC Report Review
Okay, the beginning of this was just so perfectly creepy. It does an excellent job of portraying how detached and damaged Euan got in Azkaban. It puts me in that mindset, and makes me feel even more sympathetic toward Euan.
Not that you haven't managed that well up to this point in the opening and closing sections in particular (though also in the rest of the story), but there was something about this - about him pulling off the spider's legs and crushing it and ultimately regretting it - that just resonated more strongly with me than anything else up to this point.
You know, I think that this is my favourite chapter thus far. I really do. The way you open the larger section, after the creepy bit about the spider is also absolutely brilliant. I don't think I can actually name off all the perfect parts of this section, though I'll give it a try.
The way that Euan reacts to and remembers his fellow prisoners worked perfectly. Of course he wants to forget about them; who can blame him? His reaction to the man in the cell next to his, and how he wanted to hide his female friends after having to listen to him… that was perfect. And the part about his father being a better father the second time around - oh my god, yes. That happens so often, and just that one little comment adds something to his memories and his difficulty escaping them, even now.
That's also true of the way you describe Azkaban itself. Euan says that he's weak for letting it break him, butr you description of it is so perfect and so vivid that I as a reader couldn't imagine it not breaking him - breaking anyone, really. The way you describe his state of mind is just nothing short of genius - I feel like I use that word too much, :P but it's only because it's true.
Alfred is also perfect as a therapist. He does everything right, and I love the way you talked about muggle remedies. Similarly, Jessica's reaction to Euan's problems is perfect. I'll be interested in seeing whether she meant what she said and if so how far she'll take it or if she was just speaking out of anger.
Another excellent chapter. How do you do it?Author's Response: Its really strange because the reviews I requested for this and your reviews all came on the same day so the review count suddenly EXPLODED (well, went up by four) and I had all these lovely reviews to read.
Yeah, I've always thought this bit with the Spider was the best. Every spider related bit was orginally written with this in mind, so I'm glad that it worked for you :)
I'm a strong believer that there's hardly anyone in the whole world who could survive Azkaban. I'd be unfixable within about a day, I think, because it's just so brutal and /awful/ really.
Ahha, I like the use of the word genius so it's fine -flails a little bit -
With Richard, well, when given a second chance a lot of people are much better than they were the first time. That's what second chances are for, I think :)
Thank you so very very very very much for this lovely lovely review! :D
AC Report Review
Hey! This is apocalypse, here with your review! Firstly, I'm really very sorry for being so late with your reviews; I got really busy with my studies and wasn't able to review in the past few days. Anyway! I'm here now. =)
I was very glad to be back reading Euan's POV again. It's been so long since I read his POV and it felt really nice being back to it. Jessica and Toby aren't bad story tellers but Euan just has that familiarity about him that makes like his version a lot.
Poor him. I think that you've done a brilliant job with describing his inner turmoil and the panic he's feeling. His feelings and emotions have been depicted very well and I can't help but feel pity for him. The way you made him calm himself and concentrate on the situation was amazing. I could feel myself getting tense as he got tense and tried to control his panic.
Ah, I think that the way you've made Toby Euan's lifeline is great. His feelings for his son are so apparent and transparent that they make you feel sorry for the father and son both. You're doing a very good job with maintaining Euan's character and have polished him very nicely. It's nice to see him trying to cope with his situation despite feeling lonely.
The plot is progressing very well actually. I think that you did a very good job by making Jessica send him to the apartment. I don't think that it's right; seeing as being alone can have disastrous affects on a depressed person but I think that it's understandable and that Jess couldn't have done anything more. Her character is appearing very strong at the moment and I'll have to congratulate you on succeeding in keeping it stable. She's still on the neutral side; neither appearing bad nor good. That's great characterisation on your part. =)
It's good to have Euan's father play a role in the story too. I can't believe that he had said all those things to him. You've created a great dynamic between this pair of father and son and I can't imagine what Euan must be going through when he sees his father helping him. You've a done a SPECTACULAR job of describing Euan's feelings. You're a master with the emotional stuff and I really love reading all the descriptions of feelings and emotions. =) Keep it up!Author's Response: Hey there apocalypse! Sorry it took a while for me to respond to this review. My unanswered reviews exploded a little bit and well, yeah, I got behind (this is currently number 18).
Oh nose, you're reminding me that I've finished writing this story now. No more Euan's POV. -focus-
In my mind, Euan's love for Toby is essentially his tragic flaw (although that won't make a lot of sense untill you've got to the end, maybe) and I've always seen Toby as the singular thing that keeps Euan trying, which is sad considering all that happens.
In my mind Jessica didn't have much of a choice but to send Euan to stay elsewhere, because otherwise it wouldn't haveen fair on Toby.
I like to think that the emotional stuff is my especiallity, so thank you very very much for this lovely review! :D
AC Report Review
hello its cally i decided to eventually join properly yehyy:D but i must say im gutted as i get the whole way through this then boom it ends here :(! i am so excited for the next-last chapter as i have absloutly loved this. I really liked the way you had him slip in and out and i thought the chapter with toby was brilliant i was nearly in tears when he was talking about his dad and how much he hates the whole thing oh and about him getting bullied ! and whooo they got justice !! :P but congrats on another fab story and i cant wait to see how it ends :D lots of love cally xxAuthor's Response: Hey there Cally! I'm really glad you've come to read this story because it's one of my favourites that I've written. Ahha, the next chapter should be up soon as it's all written and ready and it's just a matter of balancing updates and such. I'm really glad you enjoyed it and thank you very very much for stoping by and reading! :)
AC Report Review
Hey! This is apocalypse, here with another review for you!
Wow. Toby's chapter. I don't think I was expecting a six year old's narration when I opened this chapter, so I was pleasantly surprised. I think it was an amazing chapter. It was the most heartwrenching chapter of the story and made me wanna cry. The poor child!
You captured the simplicity of the child's brain very well. I think that you did an amazing job with keeping the narration simple, uncomplicated and very innocent. It was really interesting to see the adults' problems viewed from a child's eyes and I think that you pulled it off really well. The fact that he was glad that his father was not home to ruin everything was killing! I felt like I wanted to hug the poor child and cry with him just to make him feel better about everything's that's happening around him.
I think I sympathise with Jessica too. It's really hard for her to decide between her husband and her son and I just hope that whatever decision she makes is for the best. Everything here was written amazingly! You portray everything so excellently that it sounds like its'real life rather than just fiction. I think that somehow, everyone ca relate with this story of yours in one way or another. Seriously. I hope that you keep up with your writing and never give up writing! =) You amazing at it and we need writers like you! =D
Brilliant chapter! I think it was one of the best works I've read in a while so good job with it! Can't wait to read ahead! =) Do re-request for the next chapters! Until next time, Good Luck and Happy Writing! =)Author's Response: Hey there apocalypse! Thanks for another lovely, detailed and helpful review!
This was actually one of my favourite chapters to write of all time and I'd definately consider it the sadest chapter I've ever written of anything (and I have an unfortunate tendancy to write things that are criminally depressing). So, I'm really glad that you liked this chapter from Toby's pov and I definately watned to enduce the let-me-hug-you-and-make-it-all-better sort of thing :D
Ahhadoihaiofd. The second bit of your review just made me die with excitement. Writing is really important to me and that's just... aha, I'd love to be a writer one day but even if that doesn't happen I promise I won't every stop.
Ah, thank you so much for all your lovely compliments! I'll be sure to rerequest a little sooner this time :D
AC Report Review
Hey! This is apocalypse, here with your review! I'm glad that you remembered coming back to my thread for reviews and I'm going to try doing my best with reviewing this chapter seeing as I don't really remember much of what has happened earlier. I do remember the main plot so I think it'll be somewhat easier; however, I do hope that next time, you re-request sooner so that I can give you better reviews =)
Anyway, can I just say that I'm really happy to be back reviewing this story? I think your writing style in this story and the overall plot is pretty engaging which makes your readers enjoy your story whenever they come back to read it. It's really very interesting =) I, for one, love the way you start and end your chapters. Those paragraphs in second person give the feeling of doom and gloom that your story needs to portray. Even when your chapter does not convey the sadness fully, the endings and the beginnings to the trick. Good job with those! =)
About Jessica, I don't think I've ever disliked her much. I don't remember if I've ever said that I didn't like her but after reading this chapter I can surely say that I don't dislike. I don't particularly like her either but I think that I can confidently say that I do understand her feelings. I think that the way you've portrayed her hear and have made her think of her husband's and her child's health is excellent. She's being a strong woman here and it shows. I think that I should congratulate you for that seeing as how you've described her emotions and her despair so well that I was able to understand her point of view and actually be neutral about it. Great job! You've progressed well with her character. Though I do think that she shouldn't have blamed Harry. I mean, what if HE's her benefactor? =P Could be possible. ;)
I can't imagine why writing Neville and Harry could have been terrifying. You did a good job and maintained the originality of their characters pretty well. I like how Harry was fussing over James and the way you described Neville and Hannah's relationship. It was interesting to see some canon characters pop up; you did a great job with them so don't worry about it much =)
I really pity Euan and Toby. It's so sad to see Euan like this and so sad to know that he's drifted away from his son. All that he wanted was to have a child and when he had one, he wasn't there to see him grow. It's so sad. But it's also commendable how you've written it all down. The plot, the feelings, the emotions and the surroundings are described so brilliantly and effortlessly that it all makes me admire your writing even more. Keep it up! =)
I really hope that I've come with a good review for you. It's been a long time so I don't really know what I should've focused upon. I just gave general comments so I hope that you like and that they help you in any way they can. I'll be reviewing the next chapter in a bit too! =) Glad to be back to this story!Author's Response: Hi there apocalypse! Thank you so much for stopping by and leaving me this lovely long review. I know it was such a long time since I requested for the last two chapters, so hopefully you weren't too confused and lost when you started reading :)
(Oh, and it made me squee pretty bad when you said you were glad to be back :D)
Writing the beginning and ending to these chapters is one of my favourite parts to write, as I guess to just embrace the imagery and the metaphor and say to hell with the consequences! So it's pretty good that people actually seem to like that, ahha :)
I think you've pinpointed my feelings towards Jessica. I don't like her but I don't dislike her. I'm pretty fond of her though, after writing about her for quite awhile. She's being strong because she has to be, when in reality she just wants to run away and be bitter and feel sorry for herself for a little while.
Oh dear, I'm so terrified of writing canon characters its not even funny. So, I'm really glad you thought they were okay. That's so reassuring, ahha. Thank you so much!
Ahha, thank you. I know this story is like... high up on the sort of depressing rating, but, ee, thank you so much for this review and it was definately definatey a good and lovely review! I'm just sorry that the response took so long - I just wanted to sit down and do it justice :)
Thank you again!
AC Report Review
Hi there! *team blue* (Take #2)
Aah you've gone and done it again, Helen - written an absolutely amazing chapter that is really stuck in my head and I can't stop thinking about. You should really share some of this talent around, y'know ;)
I loved how this was written from Alfred's point of view. It really gave us such a rich insight into his position as the poor slave-driven worker, who I am absolutely adoring because of all the little details about how much he wants to help people and particularly what lengths he's going to for Euan. I loved Claire, too - she seemed so down-to-earth and lovely, perfectly balancing Alfred. I think you've built their marriage up wonderfully!
I also like how we got to see a different side of Euan now that it wasn't being told from his POV; we can see what a desperate state he's in. I also liked seeing more of Jessica, who I haven't really liked much before but thought I was far too biased... I still think I am, but that's not stopping me from /really/ not liking her, at least until we get to see her side of things. It was lovely how much better the pub made Euan, and ironic, since the pub changes so many people for the worst.
And your imagery was as mind-blowingly, breathtakingly amazing as ever. I love how it comes at the start and end of each chapter, and it really sets the tone of the separate chapters as a reminder of the horrors that are forever lingering with Euan. It puts you in the place of the description so much and it's just so amazing and spine-chilling and just omg!
Oh, and I love how you've got Harry and the war as a sort of go-between where people can always find middle ground, it's so clever and I love how it reminds us that all wars end somehow. Euan's will too.
10/10 for gorgeousness and spine-tingling everything ;D
~TGKAuthor's Response: Lotttiee! I'm really sorry for taking awhile with this response, things have been really mad down my end. But, ah thank you for such a lovely review! I can't believe you took the time to write this out a second time (this is the sort of thing that makes my heart sing) but yes, thnak you thank you!
I really enjoyed writing this from Alfred's pov (although it feels so long ago now) and it was really good to explore his character. As much as I don't like reading fics where the POV skips around, I do enjoy writing them... ahhha. On that vein you'll be able to see Jessica's POV at some point! So then you'll be able to make your mind up properly :D
I love pubs. I guess that's how that crept in there. They just always seem to have a lovely atmosphere :)
Aha, thank you so much TGK! This was such a lovely review and I love you very much for leaving it for me :D
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