I loved how you wrote this, each paragraph with the same style and structure to it. It really spoke to me like that and really made this stand out from anything else I have read of yours. There is description and yet not, there is a story and yet not, there is action and yet not. Now by this I'm not meaning that you're lacking description or any of the other things, what I mean to say by that is that while there are all these elements to your story they are told in such a simple and very stylistic way. I really enjoyed this oneshot! Great Job!
~Slytherinchica08~Author's Response: This is still one of my favorite one-shots on my page, even after all this time, and I'm so pleased that you enjoyed it so much, too. :) It's extremely different from basically everything else around it, and I really like that; it's not something that usually comes out when I sit down to write something, but I'm pretty proud of it!
Your reviews never, ever fail to make me smile. ♥ Thank you so much for them! Report Review
Well, here it is, review #400. A milestone? And you get it. This is a marvelous piece. One can just see it all around, and every word does indeed count. The description in so few words brings the Azkaban experience into stark imagery, almost as if one can now close his/her eyes and see it. 10/10 for this masterful piece.Author's Response: I am very flattered that I was your 400th review -- thank you so much! :) I have a fond spot in my heart for this one-shot, mostly because it was the first story I attempted this challenge with, and I remember writing it quite well, despite the fact that it's been a year or so now.
I am really pleased with the way this came out. And I'm so glad you enjoyed it, too! I've really got to thank you for what an amazing reviewer you've been to me over the past few months. It really gives me such a confidence boost to see you returning. :) Definitely hope to hear from you again, and once more, thank you! Report Review
That gave me chills. It was written so masterfully. I love how you use repetition, because it just adds to the mental pictures that come with the story. Also, I love the banner! Someone suggested that I get one for my story, but I don't know how! Think you could explain? Thanks so much! 10/10
Cassie :)Author's Response: Ahh, this is a rather old one of mine now, isn't it? How time flies. But thanks very much -- the repetition is, I think, my favorite thing about this, too.
As for banners, it's rather simple! There's a banner in that right sidebar over there called The Dark Arts -- click it, and sign up on the site there, and you can post a request for a banner in a thread there. All the artists are so good, and what's more, they do all their work for free, so I really can't ever thank them enough for what they do!
Thanks, Cassie, as always! ♥ Report Review
Wow, this was great! I'm in awe at the way you wrote this. The emotions and imagery in this was incredible. You really took me and put me in Azkaban. For a 500 word story, you managed to really make me feel fear, and death, and sorrow. I'm honestly amazed. I can't even find a typo to critique XD I think you did a wonderful job of portraying how Azkaban would feel, and why it's such a terrible place. Great job!
-NaidatheRavenclaw, RavenclawAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for the unexpected and kind review! I am really glad you liked the story, those 500-word pieces are always a lot of fun to write. Report Review
oooh god.. really great fic with so dramatic atmosphere that you begin to feel that! thank you author for your job. well done))
I also wanna to ask would you mind terribly if i translate this fic into Russian and publish it on HogwartsNet website? I will state everywhere that I am just a translator and you are the author of the fic.Unfortunately, i dont know how to connect with you so this was the only way)Author's Response: I'm not very comfortable with this idea, unfortunately, and am going to have to say no. :( Sorry for the late response -- I haven't had Internet access lately -- but I hope you understand.
Thank you for the review! Report Review
Wow. This is some of the most beautiful writing that I have seen on this entire site. In 500 words you are able to catch every aspect of what I always imagined Azkaban to be like. You said things that I had thought of but never as able to put the words to it. In other words, you characterized how Azkaban would feel, not just look, smell etc.
This is excellent work. Now that I've read this I'll definitely be looking at some of the other work you have to offer! 10/10Author's Response: Wow -- thank you so much for such a beautiful review. :3 It really made my day to wake up to this! Thank you!!! Report Review
Wow. This is like poetry.Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much. Seriously - this just made my day. I am so glad you liked it. :) Report Review
Wow. I love the sensory imagry that you convey in this fic. I think what really makes it relatable and physical for the reader is the symmetry between each of the first 4 paragraphs. With each one you name one of the 5 senses (minus taste cuz that would be gross lol ) and that really helps me as the reader focus on that portion of the body. With the smells and sounds i could actually imagine what the smells and sounds would be like because of the level of detail...
It was great that you could portray such amazing detail in only 500 words and I commend you emmensely for that :D
~*~Sly~*~Author's Response: This was the result of a caffeine-induced 2-in-the-morning writing spree, and for all that I am glad of its result. :P I agree - not much to taste, except for salt air and... bile? Blegh. There is only 500 words in which to convey things, and taste, I feel, was duly left out! :D
Thank you so much for leaving such a lovely review! Report Review
REALLY interesting. Good job on this :3Author's Response: Thanks so much, this piece just about ran out of my fingers on its own. :D I'm glad you liked it! Report Review
I hate you right now.
BUT I DO NOT HATE YOU. I LOVE YOU. AND I AM JEALOUS.
Argh! I was SO going to write an Azkaban-themed one-shot for your challenge! But since this one-shot blows anything I could have written right out of the water, my idea sounds very pathetic right now. Boo.
Your imagery is just.agh. I want to throw mud pies at you because I am so jealous. Like this part:
The bitter salty brine of the ocean, snaking up the outer walls so far from your own prison, and wrapping itself in your senses, reappearing each time you think you've found respite.
I am so green. So green right now. It's just not fair.
If you do not channel your talent into some writing-related career, I am going to do something drastic! Like bake a dozen cookies and then throw them away! Not that anyone would want to eat them, anyway, because I always burn everything. But there you have it.
I tell you, for such a short one-shot, this packs a lot of power. Could you humor me in saying who you imagine the prisoner to be? I am curious. XD
I like how the lines start off with "The --- are many, but they are none of them --- one wishes to ---." It keeps a steady rhythm to it, and it has this hypnotic, relaxing quality to it because I can hear the crashing of the sea against rock and the loud, wailing screams and it's just...gahh.
You're not allowed.
Alright. You're allowed. But put little disclaimers in your summaries that everyone who reads your stuff is going to start second-guessing their own writing and feel a sudden urge to go delete all their stories because they feel all grrr.
I LOVE YOU, JANE! (cough) DON'T EVER STOP WRITING, OR ELSE!!!
And I would do the little heart symbol thing, but it would just delete it, so pretend it's there! :DAuthor's Response: PLEASE write me an Azkaban one-shot!!! I absolutely adore your work and if you do not write it, I shall be THOROUGHLY MIFFED. And I shall do something nasty. Like give Sirius and Scorp-o wet willies.
I do not understand your jealousy, though, because I took a lot of inspiration from your style in "Silhouettes" when writing this. :D So truly, you are jealous of YOURSELF! Ponder that with some tea for a moment.
*pondering time ensues*
As for the prisoner... at first I imagined it to be Sirius, but then it grew into something more hopeless than I ever pictured Sirius to be in Azkaban. Then it turned into a sort of nameless Death Eater, but I couldn't imagine one of them feeling quite like that. So I imagine him/her as a sort of OC - unknown to me, in fact nameless to me.
IF I CAN'T WRITE YOU CAN'T WRITE EITHER. So there. *squish* Thank you for the sweetest review I've recieved since... the one you left me on 'The Wedding'. :)
*heart symbol* Report Review
Hello dearie, tis MOI here from zee swap, and I decided to review this one becuse it's short and unloved, so VOILA! Je suis ici! (I can hardly think in English today, so pardon my French! :P)
So, this was amazing because it was so consise yet so powerful and I loved every word... all 500 of 'em! :) It was creepy yet beautiful and really just wonderfu! I have been stalking reading some of the entries for this and I really love them all, but your has to be one of my new favorites because it is really something else! :)
Have a great day twinny, (and sorry this is so short! I can't think of anything else to say other than :O You rocked this!)
-AnnieAuthor's Response: Bahaha! I just love your French. :D Thank you SO much for coming by and reviewing this! It's definitely one of the darkest things I've written, if not THE darkest, so I am so, so, so, so glad you liked it!!! :D You're so sweet.
Have a lovely day, my twin! *squish* I love you, and thank you so much for the lovely review! Report Review
Beautiful one-shot. I love how you never identify what the prisoner has done wrong, and how you instead capitalize on the sensations of being in prison. At first, I was a little skeptical about that - wouldn't the prisoner feel guilt or remorse? But I ended up liking how you made that unimportant - the despair and horror drowns out any other more human feelings. It also makes it easier for the reader (the "you" - I also loved the second person) to connect to the one-shot. Great writing! 10/10 :)
AetherAuthor's Response: Thank you for your lovely review! I actually had no prisoner in mind in writing this, so I suppose it's just as well. :D Azkaban is a place of such hopelessness and despair, I don't see how much guilt or remorse could help you out there, anyway.
Thanks so much! I'm so very glad you enjoyed it! Report Review
oooh this gave me major goosebumps! i love the way that you manipulated the accepted verb/subject/object/modifier order in the repeated sentences of the first three paragraphs; it set a sort of smooth and even stage, propelling me forward into the next sentence. i love that you use verbs sparingly; the lack of action in the majority of the piece sort of reflects the place itself that you describe. the tone is perfectly monotonous, though not uninteresting. you put things the way that they are, without sugar-coating them, and yet they seem too blasť to be true, almost. but when you push past the barrier that the mind sets up for us for protection, it just sort of hits you. things you can read of a hundred times are actually things that would drive you, and people much better and stronger than you, absolutely mad.
i thought that the last sentence sort of culminated all the straight-lined sentences like a dark black period. it was nice, and shocking in its way, although you sort of knew it was coming. and it's ironic that all of what you describe in the earlier paragraphs--all 498 other words--lead up to that, to nothing. that you can spend 498 words talking about something to have its summary be nothing. it's chilly, and brittle, but dense all at once.
i don't need to tell you how skilled you are at this, but i will anyways. all of your stories are touching and, that really sets them apart from so many other things that one could be reading.
well done, jane! :)Author's Response: Goosebumps?! That's awesome! :D Writing this piece was very different for me, as it kind of broke all my usual style and tossed the pieces out of the window. As it were. :D I'm very, very, very glad (and relieved, to be honest) to hear that you liked it!
You're so sweet, Lily. Thank you so much. :) *squish* Report Review
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