This was totally amazing. It like, serious blew my mind man. Lily is such a babe - hey, I tan even in the winter too, omg. And James is so hot. He's not a toerag after all. Omg so sweet.

Seriously, I love this so much. I died laughing when she said "Take your mask, and take my heart." I mean, everything about this story had me cracking up. The way Sirius spoke was hilarious, and just the whole thing with the messing up the hair, tanning in the winter, the thick blode hair, the fact that Sev isn't that nice anyway but duh, he's her bestie. Everything, everything, everything, everything and everything. And by that, I mean everything - was hilarious.

I commend you for writing this monstrosity, it must have taken a lot of work. You deserve ALL the love (unless you're a toerag, and then you def don't deserve it.) Brilliant.

-Maybe

Author's Response: there is nothing to say there's not still uv ray action happening in the winter, most people are just too weak and cowardly to go out because it got cold or something. peasants!

i did put considerable effort into playing up as many cliches as i could from the marauders era, because that era used to be something i enjoyed reading so much and then i felt like a lot of authors tried to write it just because it would attract a crowd, and because of that the quality suffered and they went for the obvious plot points, that were easy to read.

hahah i hope that i'd pass the toerag test :D thanks for your review, glad you enjoyed.

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LIKE, AHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Author's Response: DON'T MOCK ME

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CAN I HAZ A FIESTA NOW??!! This story was just, like, totally awesome. What Cliche's are you talking about? I saw absolutely no cliche'd, I mean, like, I really did not expect Lily and Toerag to get together and Sirus and Remus?! Where did that come from? (from another galaxy - just because I feel need to answer rhetorical questions) and you left so many underanswered: WHAT HAPPENED AT THE FIESTA IN THE SNOW??!!!

Okay, seriously, haha. You had me hooked from the summary. I NEVER laugh in stories (I'm just a really angst-ridden person haha) but I lost it in this story. It was, like, like, pure terrible-perfection!

NOW LET'S ALL HAVE A FIESTA! *begins fiesta and waits for someone to join*

Author's Response: I appreciate that you appreciate the story that I produced out of legitimate appreciation for the appreciation-worthy Lily Evans. Is she not the most magnificent creature you have ever read? If you allow me to be so bold and you must because you are not within reach so you cannot constrain me, and besides a flower always has her way, I am a master of unpredictable, fresh, exciting and gritty stories, so it is no surprise to me that you were so surprised and compelled by this extremely compelling and creative, original, totally unique story.

Also there is not one other Sirius/Remus story on this site as good as this, did you know? That could be construed as bragging but I ain't doing nothing but reporting facts.

Well the fiesta in the snow was a very grand affair, complete with chips and salsa in which kittens rained from the sky and cherubs burst from the roses that grew out of the snow and played on their little golden harps about how lovely the stars in Lily Evan's eyes were. Sirius and Remus get married and plan out their wolf-child nursery plan together and Dumbledore is their flower girl. The end.

I will join your fiesta, but only on the condition that we can wear gas masks, because they are cool.

(Glad you enjoyed ;) )

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What the hell was this. I'm sorry but it's worse then Twilight. I mean Twilight is ok but some things on there are just plain weird. Like this. Please read this in a monotone type of voice. It makes it sound funny.

Author's Response: Excuse me this story is pure awesomeness. You, sir, are monotone! And Twilight is a time of day, I do not understand your complaint against it. In fact it is a very nice time of day, and besides that, this story is awesome. I have unearthed the abuse that ill-spoken toerags are always receiving at this repetitively-populated institution. I am doing real work for the magical population, I am a social hero, and you are undermining the seriousness of my work and my contributions to society by relating my art to a time of day in a manner that makes no sense. In fact Twilight may even be a time of NIGHT which changes everything.

{thanks for your review, I enjoyed it ;) }

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Like, that is good!!

Author's Response: Like, thanks to the moon and back LOL LOL !! !!! !!! !!! !!!

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LILY. I LOVE YOU.
I could quote everything I liked in this, but dude, that would take me forever and you would get bored of me quoting you and then you wouldn't love me anymore or throw me toast or hold my hand and giggle or start a fiesta for me.

But, like, that was like, totally amazing. Like, this is exactly what I thought a marauders era would be like, like, you know? Like I totes don't understand why this didn't win like five dobbies or anything because, like, it is so good. I am so jealous that I couldn't come up with something as, like, amazing as this. It was just, like, amazing.

H3 h3 h3.

Author's Response: HANNAH STRIKES AGAIN!

obviously sirius is still alive so he stole me a timeturner from the department of mysteries so that i could go back in time and tell his story! too bad lily was too annoying and had to take up most of the story otherwise the star-crossed lovers probably would have gone down in history.

thnkz 4 da reevyew, dawg. !`~'!

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Aha.

I'm slightly concerned about your definition of awesome. I decided to come R & R this one because I've been writing a parody and I found it was such a good way to vent - and it cleared my writers block which was wonderful.

Anyway, it was really funny and I love the cliche's you exploited. Even in all it's faux-awesomness I was expecting you to come up with an actual reason why Lily changed her mind which made it even more faux-awesome than I'd expected when there was no reason whatsoever xD

To make it even worse: more spelling mistakes, more speach (that was hillariously bad) and definately a random kiss or two. In the middle or something.

Beautifully terrible.

-AC

Author's Response: Well seeing as it was for the worst story ever challenge, er, awesome can be redefined.

There is never a reason in the fics I make fun of. It's--well it's actually usually because she has always loved him and has been scared of his a-hole tendencies and getting her heart broken and blah blah blah. I don't buy it, hence, the exaggerated nothingness :P

Hm, I will take your advice into consideration if I ever revise. I could have some reel gud fun wid speleeng.

thanks so much :)

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Woah. This is, like, amazing! I really liked Lily Evans, she was, like, awesome! I agree with you on the cliche front, and I never realised how many there were until you pointed them out! I think this probably is one of the worst stories i've ever read, but in a good way (if at all possible, lol). Oh and I love the 21.20 vision! Oh, and I liked how Sirius and Remus were finally able to get together, thanks to the awesomeness that is a blonde, tanned Lily Potter. I think I may however, have a headache coming on from this... :P

Leanne (leannemariesnape, Hufflepuff)

Author's Response: Woah like heyyy gurl waddup. Lily is da coolest gurl around yo!

I think I am really sensitive to marauder cliches because the Marauders were my first fanfic loves :3

And ofc, I know what you mean, I hoped it was the best worst story ever haha. I had a friend when I was younger who thought she was some hot stuff who bragged to me about how her mom had 21.20 vision and I was unprepared for handling that kind of information. Now I know what to do with it...keep it and satirize it in a story!!

Sorry for the headache but also not sorry, you know? :P THanks for the review!!

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I don't think I've ever read a more awful story than this, and it was AWESOME. I couldn't stop laughing. All those cliches I hate about the Marauders era were pretty much mentioned in here.

I love how Lily is blonde and tan because she's totally the hottest girl in the school, right? And an endurance runner, for charity! Plus she's probably the greatest artist to walk this planet, what with her 21/20 vision.

At least Remmi and Siri get to live happily ever after. Until they commit suicide because they are star-crossed lovers and Remmi is obviously the girl in the relationship, duh.

Can we have a fiesta now that I've made it through this god-awful story? I won't hate on the fiestas and I'll take my mask and your heart...if only you never subject me to this torture, ever again. :D

forsakenphoenix (Ravenclaw)

Author's Response: THIS WAS BEFORE WE KNEW EACH OTHER -le gasp-

And before I knew Remus/Sirius was your OTP lol. Remus is deffo the girl in the relationship and yes, they will come to a tragic ending because Lily is in charge of this universe since she obviously is amazing and runs the school and can survive in just her delicate tan think skin in the winter snow.

Yes, you deserve some serious accolades for surviving! I can't promise I'll never publish something this horrible because you know all authors have bad days but...er, I'll warn you if I notice it!

THanks for the review missy (h)

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This story is so cringe worthy but in a good way. You definitely succeeded in writing one of the worst stories ever. It was actually a bit of a struggle to get to the end it was that bad. You used every possibly cliche there is really well. And some of the dialogue was just so cheesy. "Take your mask and take my heart." has got to be the worst possible line ever but worked so well in this story.

And a Fiesta.who would have seen that coming. Absolute craziness but once again, when you are wanting to write the worst story ever, that is what you do.

Well done on such a diabolical piece of writing :D It was highly entertaining. It takes a good writer to be able to pull together every horrible cliche imaginable and to make a somewhat decent story.

ravenclawprincess - ravenclaw

Author's Response: Haha thank you! I remember struggling to write it as well :P

TO me, and my memory of then-loved Marauders stories, there was always a random party at the end and a quite literal unveiling of james as a real person and not just a rag people use to wipe their feet.

Thanks so much for your review, even though you've basically said I've written the worst story ever :P

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Ok. So lyke. I don't understand. Is Lilly an aztec? bcuz it seems like she turns a lot of heads in the world. And also, Im pretty sure fiesta doesnt meen party in mexican, it means pancake and Idk why James is making such a big deal out of a pankake? seems kind of lik a baybee to me. but whatevs.

(PS THIS WAS REALLY FUNNY, LILY.)

Author's Response: OFC EYE AHM AN AZTEKA ERICANDELA! AND EYE MENT EET AZ PANCAKE KEEP UP PLZ. JAMES EES A DELIKAT SOLE IF ONLY U WER A PRINCESSS U WUD OVERSTAND.

(h) (h) (h) (h)

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I haven't read an awesome-er story :P

You won the challenge, didn't you? Tell me that you did! because i don't think anyone could have written better (or worse :P) than you, honestly! how did you come up with this?? i could never be able to write anything so wittily (is that a word?), honest!

great job. Loved it. Completely. Was laughing throughout. :)

Author's Response: I placed fourth! Considering this site is an amazing place full of really good writers who can write bad things well I feel very honored :D

I basically thought of all the things I hate, then wrote about them! It's easier to do than one might imagine ;)

THanks so much, glad to have been of service :D

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my eyes are bleeding, all the cliches!! D:
i loved it! :D i could NOT stop laughing! congratulations, you should win(:

Author's Response: thank you! and sorry for the injuries... :)
i did actually place in this challenge, perhaps i should mention that somewhere, because really, it was a job to write this without doing something crazy :D
thanks so much for the review!

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I am in love with this story.

Your Lily Potter embodies every single perfection that every cliche-loving author on HPFF stuffs her with.

Because like, even though it happened every day, she was totally justified in always being upset and surprised about it cause she had other things on her mind. - SO TRUE. I don't know about you, but if some hot guy was hitting on me all the time, I would just thank him for the ego boost and be on my way. But in fanfiction, this is never possible. No, Lily must be a man-eater who screams her head off whenever she sees James's face.

Head girl. Nice to everyone. 21:20 vision. Good at focusing. An endurance runner. RUNNING FOR CHARITY. Oh my God! I LOVE IT. Photographic memory. Matching Sirius and Remus together. Classically trained in the Italian Opera. THERE IS NOTHING LILY CANNOT DO. She is a mighty beast with great hair and is super smart and super pretty with huge green eyes.

Toerag with a rose between his teeth. IT'S JUST TOO MUCH. I love it. I love all of the toe-raggedyness.

FIESTA! A FIESTA MAKES EVERYTHING BETTER! Especially when it's snowing and the snow gets caught in your mouth and you choke on it.

AND HE IS MY TRUE HOMEBOY, THE COOLEST OF THE COOL, THE MOST HIGH, LOVELIEST HOTTEST MAN I HAVE EVER KNOWN WHO HAS FEELINGS!

BEST LINE EVER.

Take your mask. And take my heart.

From beginning to end, this one-shot is like an explosion of vomit-inducing brilliance. I LOVE how you have exposed the Lily-James cliche and made it so darn funny. Thank you for taking part in this challenge, it was a thrill to read. :)

Author's Response: wowww LURVE!!?!? i'm so impressed that your eyes withstood the acidic demolition that this story was meant to unleash :P

bahaha you know reading this review has reminded me how spur of the moment all of those details were...seriously as soon as i remembered some other well-worn aspect of lily's character i'd just chuck it in there and rattle it around a little, so when i saw some of the things you mentioned here at first i was like "wut...?" but then i went back and read it and just...just yes. it's there :P
thank YOU so much for coming up with the challenge...i didn't know if i would be able to write it without wanting to end my life but i'm still living...so i'm not sure what to say about that AHEM

thanks for the review, and i'm sooo glad that you appreciated this story for the horribleness monster it is inside. no one likes to be judged :D

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You are right. This story is awesome. Like totally awesome. I did not expect Lily to end up with the Toerag but they seem so perfect for each other! You are such a awesome writer!!

Haha no I loved this story simply because I can't stand most of the maurader era cliches and you made such perfect fun of them. Just guttered you didn't make more fun of the whole common room thing. That drives me nuts. Anyways lovely horrible story. Will refer to James as Toeraggy McToeraggypants from now on. I will now go try to convince my family that I'm not crazy for laughing at the computer so much.

Author's Response: ANOTHER MAURADER-CLICHE HATER!!! i sometimes feel like a bad guy for this story...but hey. i've always catered to a specific crowd :)
I SHOUDLA done the common room more justice, i admit. in my original version (if you can believe that i actually revised something that looks like this) it all took place in their shared common room, but i found that i couldn't do lily-sue justice in such a confined space :P
i just think that since in every marauders story that i've read, lily calls him a toerag at some point or another, it's really not even much of an exaggeration ;) i fully back your usage of this moniker.
thank you so, so much for your reviews!

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AHAHAHA. this was so horrible that it was perfect. you just covered all of the stuff that bugs me most about writing. love love love love loved it!

Author's Response: he thanks so much! this is, as i mentioned, the encapsulation of everything i hate about the marauder's era...also i could have gone lots worse on the grammar but i didn't want to completely murder your eyes :P
thanks so much for the review, i'm glad you liked it!! :D

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Hey Lily! :D

Lol, congrats on WTEB! :D (how did you even find the answer so fast?!) :P

So yes, I chose to read this story. I don't know why… maybe for the humour. And it was humourous! And terribly OVERDONE cliche, all in a good way of course! :D

The way you wrote it was pretty humourous, and like totally awesome. And I loved all of Lily's skills, she sounds, like, awesome. And the inclusion of James' mask and like, his cape!

AND SIRIUS/REMUS! :D YAYYY! Well great work on this! :D I think you just about succeeded in your aim for a worst story!

Author's Response: hehe thanks! i follow jordan on twitter and clicked the link right when she tweeted so i was ready to search :P
i'm glad that it was humourous, i personally want to scratch my eyes out when i read it--which i suppose is good for this particular one :D
heheh thanks so much for your, like, totally awesome review, yo. i love to hear from you!

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...oh my god. oh. my. god. i'm just...

wow. i'm not even going to... wow. i can't even say anything, not going to lie. holy...

-is dead-

ps : nice use of like, like, seven hundred times man. totally like, awesome. :P

Author's Response: I'M TAKING ALL OF THAT AS A COMPLIMENT! hehe thank you for the review :D these are making me happier than reviews for stories i actually tried to write well :P
or, i should say, like like like like like like like like thanks totally!!!

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LOL! "Toeraggy McToeraggypants!" LOL!

This is so bad... like totally...! Hahaha.

Good luck in the Worst Story Ever Challenge... this certainly qualifies!

I've decided to try to read all of the candidates because these are so funny!

I loved your apology to the Validator as well... don't we feel really bad for these guys?

Mine is up as well.. thanks for the laughs!

Dark Whisper

Author's Response: hey, thank you! (i still feel so strange for thanking people for saying this is horrible :P ) and thanks for the luck, with all of the entries i'm sure i need it! i'll try to hop over and read yours as well :)
and yeah, i do feel bad for them, but most of the stories i've read are bad in a sarcastic way, which could take off some of the edge :)
you're so welcome, thank YOU for the review!!

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LMAO - yes, sheer awesomeness, this is. Well, I was laughing all the while, at, of course, the awesomeness, despite how dramatic this is!
xD
This part made me laugh for a good minute:
" 'OMG Remus, I've read that book!' Lily said, pointing a perfectly manicured finger at Remus's copy of the Tales of Beedle the Bard. 'It's like, really good, yeah.' "
And I dunno why, but Sirius having really sharp canines left me laughing as well.
Ah, my lame sense of humor. This story was so awesome that I'm awesome for finding it awesome, yo.

Author's Response: hehe i think you have a golden sense of humour ;) basically this is a conglomeration of all of the marauder-era cliches that i know--i'm glad that you thought it was humorous!
and you ARE awesome for finding it awesome, home skillet.
thanks so much for the review!! :D

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"...and was a toerag, toeraggy toeragness radiating from his toeraggy appendages"

This line is possibly my favourite thing of all the things. An epically bad story, congratulations :D

Author's Response: hehe thank you! i'm glad other people are appreciating, as best they can, the badness of this :) thanks for leaving a review!!!

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LOL!! Omg I love how none of these stories have a plot lol, I was half way down the page and realised I didn't have a clue, where this terribleness was going to take me next. For instance, BOOM! *insert the James who becomes all Spainsh and Loves Fiestas* LOL. I LOVED how you repeated your words, just incase you didn't get the point across, 'toerag, toeraggy toeragness' and 'hottie hot hots' totally had me cracking up!! Genius of over using the word 'like' and I feel totally stupid because that is almost always in my vocabulary lol, I can never just be bothered to find an alternative. I will absoultely try and keep it down to a minimum now though =p. There were sooo many lines that just had me cracking up:

'Common Room that connected their chambers which was totally annoying because like, he snored.' LOL

'at the top of the castle all the way to the bottom without stopping or even sweating cause she was too pretty to sweat and she was also an endurance runner.' - This is sooo true, pretty girls just don't sweat apparently.

Brilliantly HORRIBLE! The over-run sentences, the brilliant adjectives that came in threes, the 'likes', the 'totally's', the 'prettiness'. All just TERRRIBLE!!

Well done my friend, well done *applause*

Author's Response: hehe thanks Dom, yeah pretty much i just sat down and wrote it out and i was glad that it kinda turned out the way that it did...run-on sentences are something that i see a lot but that bother me a lot so i probably overused them :) i used "like" enough as well, don't worry! and i did sort of go to town on the toeragyness :P
thanks so much for the review!! *glomps*

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What I really liked was all the run-on sentences. In a "worst fic" competition that gives you a big advantage in my book. The Lily-Sue was also nicely overdone and the narrator was pleasantly the voice of a silly author who had no idea how pretentious her story sounded.

Good... I mean... bad work!

Author's Response: hehe thank you! i know run-ons are one of my personal pet-peeves :) and that's one of the best compliments i can get for a story like this :D

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This has got to be the worst story ever. I feel bad. I mean, mine had correct grammar, how uncool am I?
The badness is amazing. I haven't read many Marauder fics, but of the ones I've seen/heard of you've chucked every cliche and terrible plotline into a haphazard box covered in flouro yellow and sparkles, eaten said box, and vomited onto a webpage.
MY EYES.
10/10 for being so terrible, well done. You are my hero.

Author's Response: welllp this is the only ever time i'm going to be glad that you thought my story was horrible!! i really tried hard to vomit the most grotesque thing that i could without having to feel TOOO ashamed for the rest of my life. i'm so happy that you even recognized the sprinkles! :D
thanks so much for the review :)

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