Reading Reviews for The Unnoticed Slytherin
  
18 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Ashley Ayoub The Unnoticed Slytherin

10th June 2013:
love the story, are you going to continue it?

Author's Response: Yes I will be continuing this story! I have unfortunately had a bit of a writers block for most of my stories so I'm trying to make my way through them. Thank you for taking the time to read and review!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #2, by Jchrissy The Unnoticed Slytherin

3rd December 2012:
Hi there!

First of all, I love that this was a Slytherin story. I'm sure that has something to do with it being written for Slytherin, but it was still awesome because there aren't enough of those.

I think you did an awesome job creating Tracey's initial confusion. I believed she was absolutely wracking her brain trying to figure out if she'd used a great amount of uncredited material and then when she started reading over it and realized it wasn't hers, I wanted to go 'woop!'.. I especially liked that you showed what a decent student is. The fact that McGonagall believed her immediate showed that she is a trust worthy student and the professor had already thought something of the story had happened.

And Millicent is just not a nice girl! I mean, the fact that she was dense enough to think she'd get away with it shows that she was absolutely looking for attention. I loved Tracey's anger at the end too and think it was totally justified. Then when Theo followed up his introduction earlier with calming her down and just being a friend she needed, I awweedd.

This was a very sweet one shot, m'dear. I had a fun time reading it!

Author's Response: AW thank you so much for this wonderful review! It was written for slytherin house and I think we were supposed to use a slytherin character and when I came across the unknown Tracey Davis this just popped in my head. I'm so glad that you liked it and enjoyed my different characterizations! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #3, by kandekisses The Unnoticed Slytherin

11th October 2012:
Awww poor Tracey, feeling alone and unnoticed has got to be difficult. At least love and hate are emotions but indifferent? Ouch

I thought what McGonagall did by calling her out in front of the class was pretty harsh. I would have been very mad if I were her. That's differently a private matter to discuss. But then again if she didn't then Theo wouldn't have come to the rescue!

I'm glad that Tracey realized that the whole time she actually has been noticed. By both Theo and Millicent. I've always had a fondness for Theo and I liked the way you depicted him here.

Very sweet ending =)
Smiles all around

Author's Response: Yeah that bit with Mcgonagall is rather OOC and I'm thinking about going back and fixing it some how. Yes its nice to know that you are noticed especially when its by a guy and one you like. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #4, by MoonPrancerxoxo The Unnoticed Slytherin

18th April 2012:
I really like this one-shot! :D

I'm really intruiged by Theodore and Tracy since they're never really mentoned in the books so I found this story of them two together really interesting :) Good Job! :D

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I just love this pairing and I'm so glad you enjoyed my take on them! thank you for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #5, by ginerva_molly_weasley The Unnoticed Slytherin

9th March 2012:
Part 3 of 5 :)

This is an interesting piece as I'd never really thought of Tracey as 'unnoticed' although it is completely believable since she isn't actually mentioned in the books and only referred to in interviews as someone in 'Pansy Parkinson's crew'.

I think it's interesting that she gets more attention because Millicent was trying to get Theo to ignore her so her plan seemed to have totally backfired. As he seemed to have noticed her a lot more because others were talking about her behind her back for being a plagiarizer.

I like this piece quite a lot! I wish you'd write another chapter regardless of the fact it was for a one-shot challenge but I think you've left this quite open ended therefore there is a lot of room for another chapter!

Author's Response: Yeah thats where the whole idea for this story came from was that she is never mentioned in the books but mentioned in harry's class list. Yes Millicent's plan completely backfired thats for sure! I'm really glad that you liked this chapter! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #6, by charlottetrips The Unnoticed Slytherin

19th February 2012:
So I decided to come back to get Traceyís back story. Havenít we all been there? With being unnoticed. Itís something that Iíve definitely come across at times in my school years (and even a little beyond sometimes).

Whoa! Seriously being called out in front of a class for plagiarizing! Thatís super embarrassing and I cannot actually believe McGonagall would do that in front of a class. She seems more the type to just tell Tracey to stay behind in a sort of blatant ďYouíre-in-trouble-fashionĒ but not actually saying the crime in front of everyone.

I was wondering how Tracey didnít know whoís paper it was if someone had just switched the names and then you explained it right after. It mightíve been best to say it right off due to the confusion a reader could experience (unless you meant it to be all mysterious like that!).

I hate the name Millicent.

Whoa! Tracey slapped and cursed at her! Whoa! Look at that, not so quiet after all! Though I wouldíve thought Millicent would have reacted right back.

Is this meant to go along with the ďYule BallĒ story because I didnít get that they were an item prior to that. Or do you just like using Tracey and Theo? :)

Author's Response: Yeah this was one of my first oneshots and I've got McGonagall a little ooc which I'm not a big fan of either. I wanted Tracey to be really mad about the whole order and over react a bit but I had millicent hold back because she was already in big trouble and woudn't want to get in more trouble. It's not meant to go with Yule Ball as I just love this pairing. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #7, by TheHeirOfSlytherin The Unnoticed Slytherin

27th October 2011:
Five minutes ago, I never once thought of Tracey/Theo, now I love them. I've always loved Theo, he's one of my favorite Slytherins ever, but now he has to be with Tracey. :)

It was an interesting plot you came up with. Simple but effective. You know what I mean? I loved it. It was a perfect little one-shot.

10/10!

Sam.

Slytherin Review Brew.

Author's Response: Wow! I'm so glad you liked my Tracey and Theo! I absolutely love them and just finished writing another oneshot about them and my nano is them as well! Thank you so much for the review!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #8, by Cleopatraa The Unnoticed Slytherin

27th October 2011:
Seeing Iím a huge minor pairing fan ( and Theodore fan) I had to read this. Iíve never read a Tracey/Theodore fic before but Iíve seen such a great fanvideo about them ( called Theodoreís lullaby). What I did notice when I was on your author page is that most of your stories donít have a banner if I were you I would fix that a lot of people donít read stories without a banner. I liked this story! I liked the fact she was unnoticed as most people write characters (OC or canon) that are extremely popular or suddenly become extremely popular. I liked the plagiarizing as things like that happen in real life but I havenít seen it in a fic yet! So kudos for you on that. The only thing I didnít like was the slap it was a bit too overdramatic. Well done!
Cleopatraa
-Trick or Treat from Slytherin House

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! I'm so glad you enjoyed the oneshot and liked my tracey and theo! I might try and get some banners soon but i gotta figure out what i want on them. Thank you!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #9, by academica The Unnoticed Slytherin

12th August 2011:
Hey! Here with your review :)

I liked how you described the advantages and disadvantages of being unnoticed; that was kind of a cool take on something that people normally just view in a negative light. However, when you got to where you were talking about how Slytherins aren't usually unnoticed, it started to sound a little repetitive. You also had a tendency to over-explain yourself later on, like when Tracey said to McGonagall that she took the material from the book and put it in quotes, and then she said it again in an inner dialogue later. I'm just not sure it was necessary.

I was also a little unsure about your characterization of Millicent; even as a Slytherin, I imagine she would be the object of teasing and probably too shy to address the Headmaster in such a rude tone. In addition, I found Dumbledore's punishment to be a little harsh -- detention, failing the class, and the possibility of expulsion? I probably would have stopped at failing Transfiguration, personally. I also found the slap a little overdramatic, especially for someone who usually sort of keeps to herself. I felt similarly about Millicent's response. I just think it got a bit carried away.

I know this sounds like a really harsh review, but I wanted to offer you my honest feedback. I really did enjoy reading about a couple of Slytherins who aren't really fleshed out at all in canon, and I liked Theo's characterization a lot. I also love that you included an unconventional pairing, as I like reviewing those as much as I can. In addition, I didn't notice any glaring technical mistakes, which is always a good thing.

Thanks for requesting a review, and I hope my comments are helpful to you :)

academica (Slytherin)

Author's Response: Yea i think i did get a little carried away with some of the stuff but at the same cheating is something really huge here so i figured why not have it just as big there. Thank you so much for your review if I ever go back and edit it i will keep your advice i mind. Thank you very much!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #10, by Mintleaf The Unnoticed Slytherin

7th April 2011:
Hi! :)

Grammar/Readability:
Your word usage is occasionally a little odd, but nothing stood out enough to comment on! :)

Characterization:
I don't think McGonagall would have outed her in front of the whole class! But then again, if she hadn't it wouldn't have been good for your plot so it's ok haha.

I think Dumbledore's demeanor is right but his speech isn't. He's such a tricky one to right, isn't he? Also, maybe you can put some other stuff in there before Millicent explodes; her anger doesn't seem provoked quite enough! :)

Plot/Flow:
I think you ought to rework your first paragraph. It seems a little stilted compared to the rest! :)

I think you could really do to expand on things a lot, and add more description. It felt a little more like a chapter in a story rather than a one shot. Add a little more mystery to who stole her paper! More suspense and drama! :)

A solid job though, good work.

Author's Response: Thank you for your review. i will deffinately work on the things you mention. as for the expanding i didnt really have a whole lot of time to write this because i had two weeks to get it through my beta and into the queue if i wanted it to count for one of the common room challenges for slytherin so i couldnt really add a whole lot to it without the fear of going over my time i had to do it. Again thank you so much for your review.

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #11, by orderofthephoenix The Unnoticed Slytherin

7th April 2011:
Hey! I'm here with your review :) This is the second Slytherin one-shot I've reviewed today! You Snakes are everywhere! :P

I was surprised to see Tracey called up for this in front of the whole class. I'd have thought Professor McGonagall would have asked her to remain behind at the end of class, as she ended up doing anyway. But apart from that, the plot was very good. An unusual way to be noticed, but sometimes it's the best.

Tracey's character was spot on! You described her loneliness and her emotions perfectly. Well done! :)

I recognise misspelled words easily, especially Britishisms. You don't have to change them but if you wish to, I'd suggest changing 'candy' to 'sweets' and 'recognizing' to 'recognising'. :)

Well done! This was realistic :)

-Sophia x

Author's Response: aww thanks i'm glad you thought it was realistic. I will deffinately consider changing those words if i ever decide to edit this oneshot! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review my oneshot. I'm glad you thought that Tracey was spot on! Thank you so much!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #12, by adluvshp The Unnoticed Slytherin

6th April 2011:
Hey! This is AditiDraco95 from the forums with the review you asked for!

Well, the plotline and the story was good. Well-written.

I found the ending kind of abrupt, so I suggest you could elaborate on it a bit more, give some more dialogues between Theo and Tracey there and then probably smoothen out things a bit by some more description.

The beginning was really good, and the end would be as good if you could just polish it up a bit more =D

The story is quite realistic and is written a nice, plain and simple way which makes it sweet in its own way. so good job on that =)

Characterization of Tracey was wonderful. It was really very well put. You developed your OC quite well. Though I feel that Theo was a bit lacking in this aspect. You need to brush up a bit more on his characterization. As I said, add in a bit more description here and there, and make it slightly more elaborate, then it would be near-perfect =)

The plot and the flow was overall good too.

Just some minor improvements and finishing touches needed (as I pointed above) and then your story could be up for a 10/10!

For now, I'll award you an 8/10.

Good work though!

Hope I was of help and didn't come off as too harsh!

Thanks for dropping by my review thread!

Cheers!
AD

Author's Response: hey thank you for the really awesome review! I will take all of this into account if i ever do an edit. I'm glad that you liked the begining and my characterization of Tracey. I will work more on developing Theo and the ending! Thank you so much for all of your advice!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #13, by Capella Black The Unnoticed Slytherin

5th April 2011:
Heya! So this was really good. I love reading about the lesser known characters from JKR's world, and Slytherins in particular are always a fun read. Yours in particular was enjoyable as it had a proper plot to it - it's so easy in one shots to just go with a single theme, but yours had several, and they all weaved together really well.

I was a little surprised by McGonagall in this piece - given that she could see the work wasn't normal for Tracey, it would have seemed more in character for her to pull her aside quietly, and for someone to simply overhear and then tell everyone else. But that's just my two pence - either way, it was a great way to have her get noticed in all the wrong ways.

I love your Nott too - he's pretty much just how I always picture him, and hits that perfect level of sweet and believable. "Not to me. You were never unnoticed by me" - awww! Really nice.

So yeah, great piece - thanks for posting it!

Author's Response: o wow! i'm so glad you liked it! I wanted to write about someone not noticed in JKR's world and so i figured this would be a good person to do it on. I wasnt sure if i should use McGonagall as the person to point this out but the only other person i could see doing this is Snape but since she is Slytherin i couldnt see him pointing it out either. I'm so glad you enjoyed my plot and that you thought my characters were believeable and sweet! Thank you for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #14, by Kaida_Snape The Unnoticed Slytherin

5th April 2011:
Alright, I'll tell you straight off the bat that I really liked this story. Not what I was expecting at all. Now, to the nitty gritty stuff.

You might want to consider saying that McGonagall hid the name BEFORE showing Tracey the paper, because I was about ready to go crazy with that until I read the next paragraph. Little details tend to bug me.

Anyways, the talk with Dumbledore, as well as Milicent's outburst, feel a little rushed, as did the confrontation with Milicent, but the confrontation was decent.

Perhaps, in the talk with Theo, you could keep the whole "you just did" sequence, but right after have Tracey pause, think, then glare at him for making her feel foolish or something.

In all honesty, I was not entirely sure about this story when you mentioned it, but once I read it, I really warmed up to it. In fact, I liked it a lot, so it's gonna go into my place of honor (i.e my favorites, hehe). Maybe once the challenge is over you could expand this story because I really liked it.

Kaida_Snape

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked it.. It was a little rushed but i needed to get it through my beta and into the que on time to count for the challenge.. i just entered another challenge where i'm going to use these two characters again! I'm so glad you enjoyed it and that you feel it is worthy of your favorites list! You made my day! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review my oneshot!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #15, by LilyFire The Unnoticed Slytherin

5th April 2011:
It's cute. I like it alot. It's very emotional in parts, which I like. The kiss was wonderful, sort of sudden, but you could still tell it was...I don't know what I'm trying to say. It was just a nice story, all in all. Keep up the great writing!
~LilyFire

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm so glad you liked it! The kiss was a little sudden but sometimes the first kiss isnt drawn out, it just happens. But i'm glad you enjoyed this piece and I will continue to write! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #16, by changingfaces The Unnoticed Slytherin

4th April 2011:
Wow. This was really good. I'll admit, when I first saw it I thought 'Okay. Short. Won't be that good, probably not too expiranced." I'm very sorry I judged the book by it's cover, because this was really good, and I'm a bit picky with my fanfics. It was short, sweet, honest and real straight forward, which is why I liked it, and it was one of those 'Slytherins-have-feelings-too' fics, which I always like, loyal as I am to my Gryffie roots (THAT was a long sentance...). Overall, I just thought it was real good, and the main character was relatable, But I'll give it 8/10 because the kiss was just kind of all-of-a-sudden THERE, and I felt like I didnt know where it came from. Other than that, no complaints, and I'm sorry for rambling... :)

~changingfaces (or Ifthiswasamovie)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! This was such a sweet review! I'm glad you liked it and the kiss was just kinda there i didnt really want to have this really big lead up to it when life doesnt always happen that way. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #17, by gingersnape The Unnoticed Slytherin

3rd April 2011:
Oh an do I love stories with unnoticed characters as the MC! I don't know why, but I feel like I can relate to them, and I fet really close to Tracey in particular because she was written with her own original twists that made reading her tale very compelling. The plagiarizing was interesting, as I had never thought of someone doing that before and liked how it came across in the writing, though it did make me wonder as Millicen't punishment seemed a bit harsh when the paragraph started by stating that it was her first offense. Other than that, I really don't have much at all to say and I just really liked it! Theo was arodabela t the end and a giant grin spread across my face when I read the ending! Overall, I really liked it, and good luck int he challenge,
-Annie

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this awesome review!! I'm so glad you liked it! I figured since plagiarizing is such a big deal in RL and people can actually end up failing classes because of it that it would seem appropriate to do that in this fic. I'm so happy that you liked Theo and my ending to the fic! I'm not sure if we actually get places in the challenge since it was for points in our common room just to put it up but thank you very much! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing.

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #18, by MalfoysCarolinaGirl2010 The Unnoticed Slytherin

3rd April 2011:
AW YAYAYAYAY! YOU FINISHED IT!!! I enjoyed reading it and am really impressed with how you pulled it off :) the only negative thing i have with it is i felt it was a little fast paced but i guess with a one-shot it the pace makes sense.

Great Job!!!

Author's Response: Thanks hun! I'm glad you liked it.. yea i only wanted it to be oneday so i figured it couldnt be too long and i needed to get it in before the deadline too! But thank you for reading and reviewing hun!

~Slytherinchica08~


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