Reading Reviews for etc. etc. (and life goes on)
1,021 Reviews Found

Review #1, by happyanon Trust Whom You Love, or Is It the Other Way Around?

19th November 2015:
I just got around to reading this now. Busy busy these last few months. Ive said everything ive wanted to say regarding this fanfic. For all it's worth, i find clemence as remarkable. Such a character. So twisted, so cold, so complicated and yet it moments and chapters such as this, so painfully human. I don't know how I feel about this turn of events with so little chapters left. It's going to be too late to hope for a double plot twist. But still, a fan can dream eh? I should be shocked but its not entirely impossible, the chain of events i mean. I'm excited of how everything will go down and eventually wrap up. Clemence, i look forward to your last bow my dear. I freakin love this fanfic. One of the best ive ever read here. As always, much love xoxo

Author's Response: Thank you! I've always found the amount of emotions in this fic a little ironic considering its narrator. It's wonderful to tear Clemence apart 8D there's so much she's been holding in these past 20-something chapters, and it's all the *interesting* bits.

I hope you enjoy the ending to come!

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Review #2, by meredith Trust Whom You Love, or Is It the Other Way Around?

15th November 2015:
I've been following this story for a while and I love it, but I'm getting very nervous about the ending. I understand that Clemence & Albus are problematic, but I don't think they're impossible--I LIKE that their foundation is rocky. It's not right, but it's real. It doesn't mean they can't find a way. Clem has always had doubts, but previously it felt like those doubts were part of a movement towards something, an internal conflict that she needed to overcome before she could give her heart away. There was a battle happening between her feelings for Albus and her selfishness, her pride, her steeliness. Now it's like she's apathetic about Al, and I don't see where it's coming from. Two chapters ago she was fighting for him, she almost believed in him, she wanted him desperately. Now it's as if she could take it or leave it. I just don't buy it. And I don't buy her and Pickett, either. I love them as friends, I truly do, and the hinting at something more is (for me, at least) taking away from that friendship.

All that aside: fantastic character development, sharp dialogue, engaging storytelling. That final scene is heartbreaking. (Have some humanity, Clem!) You're talented to be sure--you should consider writing original stuff. I think you could write a wonderful YA novel with some of these characters/themes.

Looking forward to the ending. Dreading the possibility of death to Clotter. Wishing you luck as you finish up.

Author's Response: This is the reaction I expected from this chapter, more or less, aha. It was actually the reaction I was hoping to get last chapter, because Clemence was already quite cold then. I'm on board with unhealthy relationships, as long as they aren't romanticized; that's not something derailing their train.

The question really is--why does she fight for Albus on Valentine's Day?

I think that answer is not so straightforward. And has yet to be fully addressed. Because she does fight desperately for Albus on Valentine's Day. But I would also say that for all the chapters before, she has never cared about losing him. So what changed? Is it because she finally lost him? Or something else?

She's also never stopped being bitter about their situation, at how Albus is jealous and cowardly and never suffers for it, and she does not trust him because of these things. If she is in love with him, is that love greater than her bitterness? Should she forgive him? Should she trust him? All these questions are in play in post-Valentine's behavior. Fighting for him, for whatever the reason, sounds grand and romantic, but when it all calms down, she still has these realities and she's probably as unhappy about them as you are! It's an interesting undercurrent as I wrote--I think Clemence wants to be in love, but never felt "in love" enough for it to be worth the trouble. And Albus has not proven himself worth the trouble yet.

Thank you so much for your comments! I'm glad you're still enjoying the story even with the potential death of Clotter. I do want to try writing a YA novel version of etc, with all that I've learned after writing fic!etc, thanks to so much encouragement everywhere *U* That version will hopefully entwine everything a bit better.

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Review #3, by l_arcenciel Trust Whom You Love, or Is It the Other Way Around?

14th November 2015:
Amazing as always, I love how three dimensional all your characters are and how their lives keep me coming back for more!

Looking forward to the final chapters even if they will be massively spiral filled ;)

Author's Response: Thank you! c: It'll be one great flaming spiral slide down :D

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Review #4, by glw Trust Whom You Love, or Is It the Other Way Around?

12th November 2015:
Thanks for updating :)
I am a little confused though... That last bit of this chapter.. Is Pickett in love with Clemence?? Like in-love in love?

Author's Response: I'd leave it up to you to decide! It's all Clemence's point of view and the kind of body language she's choosing to interpret. There are at least a few assumptions she makes and he's questionably over Dom, but there's something mutually awkward between them.

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Review #5, by Zelenia Trust Whom You Love, or Is It the Other Way Around?

11th November 2015:
I just discovered this story and have read it all in two days. Suffice to say I love it! Could not stop laughing! You're writing is fabulous. Can't wait for the next chapter!! Xx

Author's Response: 8) Glad to hear! Thank you for reading!

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Review #6, by C Trust Whom You Love, or Is It the Other Way Around?

5th November 2015:
Clickett I ship it! Another wonderful chapter, as usual -- I'm looking forward to the next :)

Author's Response: And here I thought people forgot that catchphrase!

♥ thanks for reading! c:

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Review #7, by HarrietHopkirk Trust Whom You Love, or Is It the Other Way Around?

1st November 2015:




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Review #8, by MelonCoke Trust Whom You Love, or Is It the Other Way Around?

1st November 2015:


Author's Response: Neither can I?? It has been exhausting to write x_x but so very worth it!

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Review #9, by QkStephen Trust Whom You Love, or Is It the Other Way Around?

1st November 2015:
That scene with Picket...
...Truly heart-wrenching. This story has just been so rich and rewarding to all who have read it.

Author's Response: Thank you! It's gone over much better than I expected.

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Review #10, by QkStephen A Kingdom For My Name

1st November 2015:
I honestly don't think I will ever find the wandwork that promises as much magic as your mind and a keyboard. I really have missed your writing oh so terribly.

Author's Response: Wahh, thank you so much! That's such a massive compliment c:

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Review #11, by randomnickname Trust Whom You Love, or Is It the Other Way Around?

1st November 2015:
Oh gosh, dat feels! heart pumping faster after another intense newsroom scene - if those walls could talk they'd had a lot to tell.
I almost forgot how enjoyably loathable Clemence can be - rubbing it in on heartbroken Appy, planing to use the gossip and Albus's trust to propel her own fame, labeling poor Henry as "disposable"- how can she do that and remain so humane to the reader!
I loved the Skeeter-boggart - so many hints on her family and still we know nothing yet, can't wait!
Aand that Henry scene

Author's Response: If there were a portrait in that room, they would have a lot to tell! Can you imagine Snape cringing at all this debauchery?

It was fun writing Clemence going back to her loathsome self. It's been too long! And it's very fun/frustrating to have it mix with the new heroine!Clemence that she still refuses to acknowledge. What's really stopping her from going back to her old ways now that Hogwarts is calm again?

Thank you very much for reading! (Oops, I hope your review didn't get cut off!)

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Review #12, by Dish Trust Whom You Love, or Is It the Other Way Around?

31st October 2015:
Damn, the suspense is killing me, what is happening in Clemence's mind? I love that girl, she's such an amazing character, no wonder you won the Dobby! Keep updating, I await your next chapter :D

Author's Response: You're back! Thank you ^__^ Ha, if she knew what was happening in her mind, I think this would all be easier on her.

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Review #13, by pinkpanther16 Trust Whom You Love, or Is It the Other Way Around?

31st October 2015:
So glad you updated! I'm kind of glad you're breaking this into two chapters to stretch the ending out a little longer. I've enjoyed this story from the beginning and I can't wait to see how it ends! Good chapter! :D

Author's Response: Thank you! The chapter does work out better at this length, anyway, and I think it'll give people time to breathe after that emotionally taxing ending x_x I wanted to end it quickly, but I guess I couldn't do it!

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Review #14, by Anon Trust Whom You Love, or Is It the Other Way Around?

31st October 2015:
Ooh - I was NOT expecting that.

You're amazing at conveying feelings, and I want to add how all of your characters are complicated and personal - no one's really just filling a position.

Amazing chapter!

Author's Response: I always found it a little ironic that etc is the most emotionally taxing story to write, and it's by far the most emotionally charged, when Clemence is so anti-feelings! And I think that exposes her heart more than anything else. She cares so much when she does care; there are so few things in the world she believes in.

Thank you very much! c:

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Review #15, by naughtforreal Trust Whom You Love, or Is It the Other Way Around?

30th October 2015:



(Today is a good day to start a cult.)

But as I was saying, just because Clemence doesn't feel it with Al, it doesn't mean she doesn't have a heart. DID YOU HEAR THAT RUN CLEMCLEM RUN

Oh Gina, drive them all off a cliff to end their suffering. (I don't know where all this sadistic tendencies are coming from) ANYHOW, I feel weird about that part with Appy. I mean, was Clemence really that dense around feelings or was it another ship because I'm actually totally fine with Clappy.

But then you have to make Clemence catch Henry looking and in that very realistic second, THE FIRE BURNED


Gah! I know it's not full of feels enough just like I said I would but if you could see how am I scrunching my face right now BAHAHA

I await the next chapter.


Author's Response: YOU'RE NOT A REAL SHIPPER UNTIL YOUR FIRST RITUAL SACRIFICE. In-story shipping is possibly the most entertaining thing to come out of my stories for me. And hey, it's nearly Halloween, probably the only socially appropriate time to dance around a boiling cauldron! Not that we're overly concerned about social norms.

I swear in every fic I write there's a scenario where it's appropriate to chant RUN [character] RUN! But sometimes they don't :( Clemence needs a mob after her.

Clappy is my Sherlock/Moriarty ship. I never understood that ship until I wrote Clemence and Appy. Ambiguously shippy, totally charged confrontations that only get ahem, more intimate later. Appy gets some fun scenes next chapter :D Everyone thinks she's down for the count. Well.

And a surprisingly charged confrontation with Pickett?? Thank Sam Claflin's green eyes. They are carrying the story right now. I almost feel bad for Albus this chapter. Almost.

THANK YOU FOR STOPPING BY, DIANNE ♥ me and julia owe you a #1 fan foam finger

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Review #16, by Dish A Kingdom For My Name

25th October 2015:
So, I just found this and have been addicted for the last few days to it! You have an incredible talent, the writing is perfect and the characters are even better! I love how real they seem, the flaws, the lack of typical yet still giving you that guilty pleasure feel everyone loves in fanfiction. It's addictive and please keep updating!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm chugging along on the next chapter; slow but getting there!

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Review #17, by Slytherdor_ A Kingdom For My Name

5th October 2015:
LOVE IT!! Are you still writing this story? It's not abandoned right??? I'd probably cry if it was tbh. You've done so well, I love absolutely everything about it! The character development, heated scenes, funny scenes, dialogue, monologue, literally EVERYTHING. it's my fave story and I ned an update!!!
Keep up the amazing work!!!

Author's Response: I am! It's just a very VERY long chapter. Thank you so much for the review!

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Review #18, by Bri A Kingdom For My Name

23rd September 2015:
I NEED MORE! So far, everything is amazing! I love the story!! When are you going to update?

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm about 7k into the next chapter right now.

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Review #19, by Elizajane A Kingdom For My Name

17th September 2015:
I'M SO HAPPY YOU UPDATED! I reread the whole story before I read this chapter, and I loved it even more the second time through.

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so glad you reread it too; it's such a different story now since 2011 *_*

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Review #20, by greenbirds The Casualties of War

3rd August 2015:
oh gosh. i can't remember if this is the fifth or sixth time i have read etc. etc. all i know is that- in my opinion- it is perfect and my go-to fic when i need writing inspiration. i am so in love. when will you next update?
(this is my favourite chapter btw)
keep on rocking n rolling x x x x

Author's Response: aw thanks! I'm always trying to write;; it's just a matter of time. keep poking!

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Review #21, by Penelope Inkwell V-Day D-Day

28th July 2015:
So, I'm reviewing in reverse here, but I failed to leave a review on this chapter before (shame on me). But here I am now!

First, shenanigans. I love shenanigans. You always come up with such interesting ones. And love potion. Well, it just wouldn't have been right if that hadn't been thrown into all this romantic craziness at least once.

It was all so zany. And Scorpius, ohmygosh! Scorpius and the elk. Scorpius and trying to help and announcing that he was gay and KISSING PICKET oh my gosh I died laughing.

Ohmygracious. I liked getting to see Clement's steely nature applied to such an absurd situation. She really never backs down, and good for her. Honestly, Al deserved what he got, in my opinion. I mean, I can understand being jealous and hurt by those pictures. Perhaps he should have known better, but I can still understand. Nonetheless, subjecting yourself to the horror of an Appy romance? If he'd had three kids named Comma, Semicolon, and Dash before he snapped out of it, he'd have brought it on himself.

I think that Dom's comment here is really fitting for this fic: "They think they have it hard, the boys. Believing there must be better people hiding under our skins, and by God, it's up to them to uncover us. They put us on pedestals and they get angry when we don't sit still."

It reminds me of something really important that I forgot to say in my review of the following chapter (A Kingdom for My Name, since I reviewed these backwards). After all this...madness, I was happy to see Al and Clemence back together.

I was happy, but...I don't think it's a terribly healthy relationship. And I don't think it could last, definitely not in its current incarnation. Because Albus is putting Clemence on a pedestal. And don't get me wrong, I think he's right to an extent. There is more good in Clemence than she shows. She likes to portray herself as 100% sharp edges, but that's not entirely true. Still, it's not entirely false, either. If he's trying to make her into someone she isn't, or if their relationship makes it impossible for Clement to be who she should be, then it's not going to happen. They may love each other, but at present, I don't think it's the best sort of love.

Plus, I can't help but notice that Scorpius says love potions don't work so well on the already-in-love, but it seemed to work pretty well on Albus. Maybe it's a bit less of a love and a bit more of an infatuation? They have chemistry, but you can't build a life on that (well, you can scientifically, but not in the literary sense. Aaand I'm rambling now).

Really, in some ways, this whole thing seems to be a lot about shipping. You can't will people into being right for each other. And I can't say that they will be or won't be in the end, but right now, I can't say that I see Albus and Clement as a good fit. And that's okay. I'm just waiting to see where it goes.

Highlight reel:
- A girl stands up on her chair, fist ready to pump in the air. "Teamó"

"NO." Pickett, without moving his gaze, points an emphatic finger in her direction. "NO 'TEAM.'"

--I love Henry. My love for all the others is complicated, but no less deep. My love for Henry is a simple love. Simple and true. :D

- And you didn't deserve Appy; no one does. She's too quirky for this world.
--that's a personal favorite of mine. I mean, he still might have deserved it, in my book, but Clemence does make a point.

Thanks for the fun times as always!


Author's Response: I always wonder how many shenanigans I can put into OFs, because they probs wouldn't fly with people who weren't already familiar with my writing 8D They'd just be like, where are the adults. Where are kids getting these resources. At least with fic, HP sort of has a ridiculous foundation and a reputation for terrible security.

Dom's been saying my fav lines every chapter recently 8D

Oh man, I'd be right there with Clemence kicking Albus in the rain. His reason is kind of romantic-sounding except it's not. It's just jealousy and stupidity but ~he really likes her~ so it's okay. I love making him a donkeyhole because people love him anyway; they can't say I didn't warn them if he's being a jerk! He admits it! He's not even that sorry!

AND I LIKE YOUR WORDS ON THEIR RELATIONSHIP. THEY ARE VERY GOOD WORDS. The biggest part is really that their relationship is unhealthy in its current state. That's all I really want readers to recognize because I don't want to romanticize it (while viewing through enough of a desirable lens to fit Clemence's PoV). I don't mind if readers ship them anyway, because unhealthy relationships exist and just because it exists at the end of a story doesn't mean it's ideal. I don't mind people think they'll change and grow into a healthier relationship, because that can happen. But Clemence and Albus' relationship is built on a power struggle and lust and that will never change; their beginning was by no means romantic. But it was very addicting.


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Review #22, by Penelope Inkwell A Kingdom For My Name

27th July 2015:
You're back you're back you're back!

Look, I'm just gonna poke you a little with this pitchfork. I won't even draw blood. Those excuses are pretty good ones.

Man, that first part of the chapter. Whew! Is it just me, or is it a little steamy in here *tugs collar*.

Nice to see Clement and Albus are back together. I mean, we saw it in the last chapter, but now it really hits. And they seem to have a better understanding of one another now. Growth!

Can I just say how much I love Clemence? I love that she's a Slytherin. I love that she is selfish and harsh and critical and she knows it. I also love that her crazy cult isn't totally wrong about her having a heart. And I adore how much she hates the cliche of it all. She enjoys having a reputation as a bit of a b***, and is sad to let it go. But there were also times that she disliked everyone thinking so poorly of her. She is such a complex character, and I think she's very realistic. Definitely no cookie cutter, and more of an antiheroine than anything. She's a very different sort of MC, and an absolute inspiration for me, as a writer, because reading your portrayal of Clemence makes me want to tackle writing difficult characters myself.

I also like Albus a lot. He's not clean cut either, and he's certainly done some stupid things, and he's a hilarious mix of idealistic and a little evil. Which maybe can give us hope that he and Clemence (who is a little more evil, with a dash of idealism thrown in there, which she seems to have half a mind to dig out of the mix grain by grain) can balance each other out.

And Dom! I'm not even going to have room in this review! I love them all! Well, no...I love to hate Appy. But that's it's own sort of love, all the same.

All of the little quips and the sarcasm and the ridiculous bits about the students of Hogwarts in this fic give me such joy.

Barry the beleaguered barnyard owl was a nice touch. Poor thing.

I have to say, a bit of me enjoys the irony of Clement's being mobbed by the gossip columns. You can't really call it unfair. But I love how she was always too smart for that kind of crappy journalism; she was just clever enough to know how to use it. I like that she's encouraging Janey to be a better journalist, and I'm interested to see what direction Clement herself will go. Will all the madness of this whole debacle--From Rose vs. Dom to Her vs. Appy to the mutterings about her relationship with Albus--change the way Clement writes? Or not? Whatever she does, I'm sure it will be with her own particular flair, and I look forward to finding out.

The fairy tale theme for this chapter was an interesting take. I liked it. It shows off Clement's wry sense of humor, and how she's never really fit the archetype of what a heroine "should" be. And Appy, who was everything a romantic lead ought to be stuffed with, made you want to hit her until quirkiness and glitter burst out like a pinata. It works as a nice highlight for some of the overall ideas of the story, like archetypes don't really exist in real life, and there are shades of grey in everyone (at least, I think those seem to be themes. That's what I was picking up). It's an un-fairytale. Poor Clement. Always unfair that the wicked witch has to melt a little, huh?

Well, I still think she can have grown and learn and got to the point where she can even be (occasionally, a little bit) kind and not lose any of her snap. I believe in Clemence!

Well, not in a "member of her cult" way. I'm not quite that far gone ;)

Speaking of which, Highlight Reel:

-"Did you see Sandra?"

-"Yeah, with the Church of Clemence." I untie the cord from Barry's feet. He droops over the sack, regretful of his career choice. Two girls come up to ask me to sign their toast; I ignore them.

-"Church, pshaw. Call it what it isóa cult. Have they built you a statue yet?"

-"No idolatry,

-"You're a witch, b***"

That was one of my favorite bits from this chapter.

So, yes. Still loving it! Still one of my absolute favorites. You create such well-written, entertaining stories and interesting characters. I always enjoy them, but this one holds a special place in my heart.

Hope this review was a decent one. I think it's lucky number 1,000 for this story! CONGRATULATIONS! *throws glitter* *shoves Appy out of the glitter. She's trying to bathe in it. Sparkling like a disco ball brings out your distinctive eye color, which is the first thing that will stun your leading man speechless. What can I say? It's quirky.*

Thanks for the story, and for sharing it with us!


Author's Response: I've been keeping your reviews around to guilt me to writing :P But a month seemed long enough so I'm finally responding! Just keep poking me with the pitchfork.

IT MAKES ME SO GLAD THAT YOU WANT TO WRITE ANTIHEROINES. I think I'm really good at one kind of antiheroine and we sooo need more of them.

I spend so much of my time inhabiting my characters and thinking like them (and in the shower, muttering under my breath in a British accent like them) to get them right. From my standpoint while writing, I don't see clearcut qualities about my characters as much as "I feel like they'd just do this" and often it's hypocritical on paper. Clemence will scoff at other gossip publications because it's trash, while priding herself on building a gossip empire because she likes fame (but only good fame and just enough of it!), while deriding boring journalism because most of it also terrible, while encouraging Janey to go into journalism because she has talent. The nuances of how she likes and hate fame and likes and hate writing gossip--that held me up for so long because I didn't know how to explain it. 'cause I get reviewers who say, Clemence loves fame, she loves gossip; and others who say, oh she just wants to do real journalism. And I get confused because they all seem correct, and I have to go into my Clemence mindspace to figure out why it's all true.

I love fairy tales; can't resist them :D And this chapter has one of my fav foreshadowing tropes: if there's supposedly a happily ever after this chapter and it's not the end of the story, it is not the happily ever after yet ;) I really like what GubraithianFire said in her review about how Clemence insists on seeing herself as a wicked witch. Ever since the beginning, Clemence has told the story and gladly made herself the villain, because she can't bear the responsibility of being the heroine. Even now, at the end of the story, she's holding onto that.

Fangirls, religion, and politics are all the same, really :D

THANK YOU FOR BEING #1000. I really hoped I'd get the next chapter out before then bahaha, and I was scared some random one-liner asking me to update would be #1000 BUT IM GLAD IT'S YOU AND THANK YOU FOR TAKING CARE OF APPY AS WELL. String her up, twirl her around, and let's have a dance party ~ * ~ * ~ *

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Review #23, by Shinicha A Kingdom For My Name

27th July 2015:
Hey! I just read all the so-far existing chapters in one go, and I feel terribly sorry that I didn't stop after each to leave a review. It was simply too addicting!!!

In general I'm amazed with your writing style. It manages to lose itself in details while still flowing nicely, weaves dialogues and internal monologues and action into one seamless, wonderful motion picture.

Of course it's also hilarious, and the absurdity of the events brought me to tears (from laughter) several times: food fights in the great hall??? A rampage in padfifoots??? Even more amazing is the fact that you manage to deliver it with elegant seriousness and angstyness without it ever loosing the humour.

The other thing is your characters; they are really alive and real!! None of them seems shallow, everyone has their mysterious side (even, or especially Appy! She's just crepyy.) I especially love Clemence as the main cast and how we slowly, slowly see her change over the chapters. Not one thing seemed ever 'out of character', i really feel that you are in everybody's head - even the quirkers ones haha.

But since all of the characters are somewhat ambiguous, the mystery of WHO 'the enemy' is becomes almost unbearable!
At first, with the Lipstick on the paper, of course I thought of Appy herself.

And then I can never shake this feeling of "what if it's Dom???" She could've shattered the teapots on V-Day! Also, Rose is still in my mind, although she seemed quite amiable when she wanted thr letter to be published... Endless possibilities! What if it's innocent and nice Janey who just wants the gossip to end and start a serious school paper?

On another note: i also really loved how you created new places in the castle that fit into Hogwarts smoothly. The speak easy, the newsroom,...

And overall the way the romance evolved was just perfect. The moments of passion, in the hallway or at the lake were so well built up and intense, i started drooling and actually got goosebumps! Still, Albus is maybe the character i understand the last. His actions seem a bit random all over the story. But that's maybe just him: making spontaneous decisions, actually not very cool at all, very emotional and caring.

So, sorry for this kinda unspecific and over-viewy any case I'm so glad i read this and super-thankful that you wrote this!! I can't wait for the last chapter and the epilogue :) :)

Author's Response: I'm really happy with what etc's done with my writing style; writing this and Capers at the same time meant they got to feed into each other a lot. etc explored a lot of narrative styles that I'd use in Capers and my description and action in Capers lent itself here.

Also absurd yet serious (seriously absurd, har har) is my writing in a nutshell 8D WRITING FANGIRL MASSACRES WITH A STRAIGHT FACE.

You read it all in one go, so you remember that there IS SOMEONE OUT THERE STILL that we don't know about! 8D Who, indeed? I like your ideas! They're sneaky. I'm sneaky.

I'm glad you like what you've read so far. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I'll try to get the next chapter up soon.

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Review #24, by randmnickname A Lesson in Persuasion

15th June 2015:
"Don't you dear me, buttercup."
"Don't you buttercup me, sweetheart!"
"Don't you sweetheart me, honey"
"Don't you honey me, dear!"
"Don't you dear me..."

Author's Response: Day 61: "Don't you... sweetie-pie... me... (gasping for breath) love muffin."

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Review #25, by Roisin A Kingdom For My Name

11th June 2015:
IT'S UP?!?! Somehow I missed the clanging of pots and pans. YOU PROMISED TO MAKE NOISE.

Not that it matters--I've already had shouty convos with you about this chapter, but whatever, ~HOUSE CUP 2015 REVIEW GO GRYFFINDOR!~

I really love the changes to this chapter. The theme and idea develops really nicely, and the end is an absolute gut punch. And the writing throughout is just stellar. There's something sort of efficient about the writing which I appreciate. It doesn't get bogged down in strings of purple prose, but the fresh word choices and rather workmanly and sparing phrasing creates a beautiful over all effect. The pace, snark and wit totally propell the chapter.

Also, I notice the Rita's relationship with Clemence is more developed than in the draft (I think?) I'd never twigged before that Clemence was raised by her, granted, I haven't read the last chapters in like a year.

Anyway, this is just fantastic. I need to stop being a bad writing buddy and go shout at you about OF now. (DO EET)

Author's Response: IT IS!! I thought you saw it xD bangalangadingdong noise noise noise

I'm glad all the changes worked out c: You said alll the right things to make it mesh together. I still have your suggestion about prewriting the next chapter haunting me, but I knew I could never do it. I CAN NEVER WRITE ON TIME, ROISIN ;A; NEVER EVER.

I had a bit of Rita before, but her development was a little of an afterthought in this fic; something I'm definitely going to develop (more like, HAVE to develop) for OF. Amongst other things.

♥ ♥ ♥

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