Hello! I was just stalking yo' wordzz and I was tempted to read this little beauty :)
I am such a fan of you right now. Like. The biggest. In the world. EL MACHO-EST FAN. Does that make sense? Idk.
I liked this a lot.
A lot lot lot. I think that much is clear.
I thought it was really really cool the way this was literally a snapshot into only a few moments, a wasted evening at the most, and yet you've painted the most delightful, rich and creative picture. Scorpius was so true to the Scorpius I envisage, and Victoire just as much. I loved the way you described her beauty to be almost threatening, like an animal. Almost like a Siren. It was really lovely.
Man, I love the way you write so much. Its almost mathematical, so intricate, the way you write. It's incredible. Eesh! Amazing.
Laura xxxAuthor's Response: HEY GURL. This is crazy, I just met you, but call me, maybe.
Anyway. That's basically a proposal in lily-language. I don't even know that song actually I just have seen the lyrics everywhere anyway I will stop embarrassing myself now.
I'm sooo ooo ooo ooo ooo sorry that it has taken me so long to answer this review D:
I'm so pleased you enjoyed this! I love the idea of a really expressive moment that just expands and expands and is what we love to call in the literary-world, "bottomless." Anyway I'm not complimenting myself or anything but I was just trying to translate YOUR words heh.
I personally see Scorpius as desperately eager to be different than he is, but there's still that element of being at war within yourself that carries over to this version of him. Victoire I see as a much stronger person, but equally alluring. A veela is a very siren-like creature; GOOD CONNECTION LAURA (claps for you!)!
BAW. YOU'RE TOO MUCH. I am literally happy right now, my heart is all light and stuff. THANK YOU FOREVER FOR YOUR REVIEWS (hearts hearts hearts) Report Review
Hello! I'm here for the review swap. ^^
I've never read a Scorpius/Victoire - never even thought about them, really - but I think it's so cool that you decided to step out and try one. And what's more, you really made it work!
I think one of my favorite things about this entire fic was that there wasn't much dialogue in it, because I feel sometimes that too much dialogue can take away from a story. We get to know Scorpius a little better than we might have otherwise because we get inside his head a bit more, and for the subject you've chosen I feel that's rather crucial. So kudos to you!
The length was great too - you didn't drag anything out, which is admirable. I also really like you've left it at a point where not everything is 100% tied off, so the reader can still kind of keep guessing. Spelling, grammar, punctuation - all look great!
Thanks for requesting me to read this! 10/10 for you! ^^
OPERATION: Green With EnvyAuthor's Response: thank you!
this is one of those ones where i was listening to the song, and then it sort of came to me that i wanted to write about scoprius and victoire. the whole ambiguity thing came as i was writing and i liked it, sort of, so i left it!! i'm glad that you think that lack of character interaction works as well as i hoped--that's great to hear!
i have a PROBLEM with dragging things out, so i'm glad that this didn't seem horribly awkward or incomplete...i don't usually write from this kind of personality, so i wasn't sure :)
thank YOU for reading and reviewing! i appreciate it so much!
(i'll admit the green with envy thing shook me a little till i remembered you're slytherin, and i've been seeing a little bit about this from my nest at the forums :P) Report Review
This story was a nice change from the usual scorpius stories. I enjoyed reading through his thoughts and loved that you showed his weaknesses. I also love how you compared victoire to pearls. I'm a little confused as to the nature of victoire's personality, but I think you intended for it to be slightly vague, so its not a bad thing. I can see though that she uses people and is not as innocent as her looks would seem to suggest.
The writing in this one-shot was superb, and the conclusion was well timed and executed.
Great job!Author's Response: ah, scorpius. this is so different than i usually write him! i'm glad it didn't seem like too much though.
yep, she was meant to be vague! mostly the focus was to be on scorpius's internal confusion :) you've pretty much got her down anyways, in everything that i meant to suggest !
thank you so much! my first real try at drama, or at the very least, angry characters, so it was hard, and it's wonderful to hear that you thought it was good :)
thank you for the review!! Report Review
I actually really enjoyed reading this; I've not yet read a fic where Scorpius had grown up to be the spit of his father! In some ways, that does make the story a little more complicated because I think a lot of readers expect Scorpius to break away from the prejudices that the rest of his family holds: especially after the war. However, there's nothing in the books to actually suggest he isn't a little sod, so the overall effect is quite believable. I love that you've taken two incredibly flawed characters and put them together: the vain, spoilt beauty and the loathing, proud pureblood.
Victoire seems to have overwhelming Veela power for someone that has more Werewolf blood than Veela! That's possibly the only real plot point that I'd pick up on. Otherwise, I think the plot is believable and the pairing is, as far as I know, original.
I like the drama; although you've exemplified Scorpius' hatred of muggle-born's quite often. It might be that he is genuinely fixated on it, or perhaps it's something you want to look at again.
Overall, a really good one-shot and a plot that I'd quite like to read more of. I really can't say too much about language or grammar because it's generally okay, although there are few syntax issues. Nothing major. I'd love a bit more description of the surroundings and other sense: not just what he can see or occasionally taste. The metaphorical use and general imagery is fantastic though.Author's Response: hi there!
my own idea of who scorpius is is drastically different than the character portrayed here--in my other stories, two of which feature him, he's very different than his father and has inherited none of the traits, even physical, that i've portrayed here :) it was my intention to show the conglomeration of imperfection that comes off as perfection, especially in victoire, and the way that the other wizards look at scorp because he's a Malfoy.
hm okay, with Victoire, it wasn't really the veela effect that i was going after--it's just that she's very beautiful, and is in a damsel in distress type situation...scorpius mentions the veela blood so much because he's using it as an excuse for his attraction to her ;)
i'll go back and look on the muggle-born thing, i'll admit i might have overdone it because i was trying to portray an angry character, which is a challenge and this is a first for me :)
thank you so much! i'll look back over the syntax; i ramble generally, and manipulate words in a way that makes sense to me but is often problematic for the normal world, hehe ;)
i left out descriptions of the place they're in on purpose...i kind of wanted the here and now to be prevalent!
thank you so much for the amazing review! i appreciate you taking the time to do this :)
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