The only existence more sad than Dudley's in this story is the poor woman who had to care for him. How revolting!Author's Response: I felt so bad for her! But on the other hand, she WAS quite an enabler and should have left him a long time ago. Dudley contributed nothing to their relationship. Some people honestly just want someone to coddle and care for and squeeze, locked up in a cage of their own making. Report Review
This is a heart wrenching and slightly disturbing story, in its own way. I felt awful for Dudley; the descriptions you used were great. I especially like how you really gave the reader a feel for the characters, even with just a few simple words.
Great job! I hope to read more of your work. :)
- fluffy.pandaAuthor's Response: Slightly disturbing is a pretty good summation. Laziness and morbid obesity is so common nowadays that it's unreal, but it's something that many do not write about because it makes readers and writers squeamish. Given that Dudley was coddled for much of his young life to the point of abuse, this sort of sad ending for him wouldn't be too far-fetched.
Thank you for reading and reviewing! I hope to see you again soon. Report Review
I was so disgusted as I read this, I thought I might be sick. Most authors hint at themes like this, touching on them briefly, but then backing off a bit because it's difficult and embaressing, but you didn't, and that's truly amazing. I don't think I ever could have written something like this. I would have been too grossed out at the image I created, but you wrote it so well, and I have to praise you for that. Sarah, you really are one of the best authors this site has to offer.
I didn't enjoy it, but I don't think I was supposed to either, was I? Regardless, it was wonderfully written. I think you captured Dudley well, much to my own horror of where he ended up in life.
Keep up the good work, love.
- Adele. :)Author's Response: Hi, Adele!
I suppose this is the only time in my life when someone's told me that they were disgusted while reading my writing and I can take that as a positive sign. XD Bahaha. Dudley was SO SO gross here and it made me grimace the whole time I was writing him. Ew ew ew. But I've got to say, there are a LOT of people out there like this, the modern epidemic of people who feed themselves to death and are lazy and enabled, etc., and it was interesting from a writer's perspective to delve into that.
Thank you for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Although this was heartbreaking, it was wonderful. You did an amazing job with it. The ending was fantastic! Amazing job! :)Author's Response: Thank you! Not many people enjoy this story, and for good reason - it's a bit repulsive. But I'm glad you liked it. :) Report Review
How have you never mentioned this? WHY DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS. I am going to make everyone read it and then they will tell you how silly you are for not telling us about this.
Oh Dudley. I always like to pretend that he changed, but the way you wrote him here is too fitting to dispute. He treated his wife like his mother had let him treat her and it is shocking. He's just so incredibly lazy and ... fat. It's like he had stopped being a person, a functioning member of society, and had turned into part of his easy chair, with a vacuum attachment for biscuit consumption.
It's a chilling idea, and the ending, with the ring disappearing into the floor, is perfect.
Awesome one-shot darling!
AnnieAuthor's Response: ANNIEEE
Dudley is gross, which is why I try to pretend that this one-shot doesn't exist. The only reason it has gotten any reads at all is because lovely Janechel has a fondness for it and likes to spread the gross-o Dudley around to unsuspecting people.
Thank you for reading and reviewing, dollface. :) Report Review
i have utterly no sympathy for him and yet i am tremendously sad for him at the same time. gah. now i am conflicted.
what an incredible story. i just...wow.
not as poetic as your other stuff i have read but that is perfectly okay. poetry would not be suited here, not for Dudley.
i am amazed by the heavy reality of this. i am a closet watcher of the biggest loser and i constantly find myself saddened by it and by the terrible state of existence obesity brings a person. as a stupidly skinny person i have no idea what it is like to be overweight so i cannot even imagine what it does to a person mentally and emotionally.
dudley though...even though i don't feel much compassion for him i can see, knowing where he came from and who his parents are, how he came to be this thing stuck in an armchair and stuck in the horrible pit of a life he had constructed for himself.
i liked the childishness to him as well - the 'how could she?' mentality he has. ugh. makes me cross >.<
fantastic work, as i am coming to expect from you darling!!
xxAuthor's Response: Aww thank you so much for yet another wonderful review! They just make my day. :)
Dudley is, in a word, pathetic. He is also gross. Like a giant blob that just sits there. So in the very end, it's difficult to feel any sympathy for him. But on the other side of things, it is pretty easy to see how he could potentially end up like this, because of the way his parents coddled him. And then marrying an enabler didn't really help. So it's just really sad, and pathetic, and you are right. He's really childish.
It's sad to know that there really are a lot of people out there like this. I watch Discovery Health sometimes, when they have specials about diseases or severely obese people. And usually, I have seen that the morbidly obese people are being fed by their child/significant other/parent, who is relatively normal in size - or at least able to function. They ask for food and they get it, no question. It's like...you people are feeding them to death. That is not love. That is enabling a very harmful habit and they are going to die. All you have to do is say 'no'. It's not like they're going to get in the car and go to McDonalds themselves.
Thank you, once again, for the review. :) Report Review
(Prize Review #4) Sorry it's taking so long.
This was very powerful. You managed to portray him so well; the mind set he had was never wavering. The way he thought of his wife and himself was steady. I feel sorry for Emma, of course. She had to have been a very strong (yet also weak) person to stay so long. I can imagine her crying at night, hoping things would get better. You painted and entire portrait of her for me, despite not using her any more than a few lines. The way she's a teacher and constantly tries to connect to him. It's so heart-breaking. And what's worse, she will probably feel guilty for his heart attack. :(
Anyways, this was written so well, as usual. Wonderful. --JennaAuthor's Response: Thank you for yet another wonderful review that makes me giddy and sets the tone for a great day.
It's true, Emma probably would feel guilty about the heart attack. It's always sad to see people like this characterization of Dudley, and even more sad to see the people they bring down into the dirt with them. These people enable them because they love them, but they are essentially creating monsters. So the whole idea of a person becoming this pathetic, self-absorbed, helpless individual all because of how he was coddled by his parents and then enabled by his wife to do nothing for himself - it really piqued my curiosity. The psychology of it interests me quite a lot.
I'm glad you enjoyed this!
:) Report Review
Hello, TenthWeasleyWriter guided me towards this story and I am glad she did. This is brilliant. It is safe to say you have embodied Sloth, some bits were awful to read. (Awful because of you amazing description not because you can't write.)
I am in awe of this description though, I was reading through it and just wow! The best part is when you are describing his heart attack, it is so detailed it sends shivers down your spine.
OPERATION:Green With EnvyAuthor's Response: I was cringing while I wrote several parts of this story. Dudley's characterization was gross and he's not the easiest person to relate to. But if you think that I embodied sloth, then that means I've achieved my goal! Hurrah!
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. :) Report Review
Wow, this was amazing.
I have never read a fic about Dudley after the HP books before and this has certainly convinced me to read some more.
I feel sorry for Dudley for the heart attack but I feel more sorry for Emma who would have had to put up eith this for all those years.
You've done a great job with this and I'll be surprised if you don't win the SDS challenge. I have also entered it but my entry is nowhere near as great as yours.
xxAuthor's Response: I loved your SDS entry! I think it's a lot better than mine. I think your entry and InspiredL's entry are really amazing and I'd be surprised if one of you didn't get first place and the other one second place.
I don't feel sorry for the Dudley in this story at all. I think he had it coming, really. And some of it is Emma's fault, for enabling him. But of course, it all started with Petunia and Vernon enabling him and coddling him.
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. :) Report Review
Hey Toujours Padfoot! At long last, I am here to review your submission! Thank you for being patient with me :) Like I've told everyone and wrote in the Challenge thread, I will review all the submissions and you are welcome to ignore or edit the submission from my suggestions. I will be re-reading all the submissions when it is time to judge them, so no worries there. Can't wait to dig into some Sloth ;)
'He tried to turn his head toward her, grunting with the exhaustion of it. His neck was lost somewhere under slabs of grotesque fat' -omg, ew! Between this and the glasses and the laziness, I want to vomit lol. BUT I mean this in the good way. Already I can tell that you have a great way of description and I can already sense the Sloth one a paragraph or two in. Lovely job already.
'a place Dudley had not visited in over three years' -oh wow, o.O that's VERY telling. Great showing versus telling here.
'A group of C-list celebrities were herded together in the same house, and he found pleasure in their drama and wild antics.' -This narration seemed more you than Dudley, while the rest of the piece was consistently Dudley...I feel like he would have known these people by name and been more invested than this statement shows.
Ohhh that last line/paragraph/ending! Brilliant. I wish I could say more about it to express how great and summed up it was. I totally believe this could happen to Dudley. While I'm borderline considering this piece to be more Gluttony than Sloth, I can definitely see how it could fit into either of those categories -and they really are often connected sins- I'm still leaning towards Gluttony since he was fixated on food. But he did totally ignore his wife in a very apathetic way *is torn* Feel free to PM me why you picked Sloth over Gluttony :P
Regardless, lovely one-shot! I think you should get a snazzy banner and besides what I wrote above, I have no major CC (trust me, this is not usual lol). I think you satisfied me as a reader with this piece. I felt so badly for Emma that must have been a difficult decision to finally make :/
Thanks for entering my challenge and I hope you enjoyed it!
nrbAuthor's Response: Thank you! I enjoyed writing for this challenge, even though Dudley was kind of grossing me out. I will definitely PM you about why this is more sloth than gluttony. :) Report Review
Since combing through this story, looking for Cedric and finding him under Dudley wearing a dress and lipstick (trust me - I'm scarred for life), I've always wanted to come back and review this. And, seeing as I'm on a reviewing spree right now, I figured this was as good a time as any to do so. ^^
This is, strangely enough, the first piece of Dudley fan fiction I've ever read, and woe betide the ones I may read after, for you have set the bar very high, my dear. I, too, have always imagined that Dudley gets his life in order after DH, but reading it in a different light makes enough sense for me to have a little nagging doubt in the back of my mind.
I love your more serious stuff just as much as your funny story, and for being so great at humor, it just impresses me you can turn it off and write something like this. The last bit, with the wedding ring, has stayed in my mind like a literal picture - that's not an easy thing to do, Sarah, by any means.
I'm your number-one fan, you know that? All your stuff just keeps me coming back and coming back, wondering what you might post next. I'm addicted!
OPERATION: Green With EnvyAuthor's Response: First of all: I MUST KNOW WHAT THIS OPERATION GREEN WITH ENVY MEANS. It's driving me nuts and I think you're doing it on purpose just to bamboozle me.
I am suspicious that it's an attempted takeover by Slytherin - in which case - good luck. You're going to need it, since Puffs rule. Oh, who am I kidding. Everyone's either in Gryffindor or Slytherin and Hufflepuff is the least popular House. OH WELL. I stand by them, anyway! So boo on you snakes! Boo, I say! I wanted to type 'boo' with about eighty o's at the end, but it wouldn't let me. Boo on the automatic spell-fixer-thing!
Thank you for your lovely-ful review spree. IT MADE MY DAY. Goodness, you have been busy, haven't you?
Like I said in another review, I think Dudley kind of grew up and away from what his parents were like. But in an alternate reality, he could easily have gone this way, since he was so used to being fawned over and coddled. Someone like that has minimal skills when it comes to self-care and reliance.
Your reviews always make me squee. And I must say, I am your number one fan as well.
:D Report Review
aw! this was so, so, so so so so so so so so so so so so (a whole whole lot of many so's) sad! I feel so bad for Dudley, but I'm really really glad that Emma grew a spine and left. this was an awesome piece that brought me to tears, especially when it ended in such a dreadfully way ;( but i liked it a lot like that, it has character. 10/10!Author's Response: 10/10? THANK YOU! I was iffy on this one-shot. It's not the prettiest story, and the imagery quite frankly makes me a bit sick. But I feel that in a universe where Dudley had not matured and his parents coddled him forever, this could definitely be a way he turned out.
I'm really moved by your review, and massively encouraged. Thank you. :) Report Review
Poor Dudley! What have you done to him!?!?!?!?
Although I have to admit I actually imagined Dudley getting his act together and pulling through life and becoming successful- it was fun to read otherwise. This was a hilarious, although admittedly disturbing, take on his life. His thoughts and denial were written well and the description of his toils trying to cross to the dining room and taking a couple of breaks on the way were amusing to read.
Overall great job! can't find anything to complain about- although I had grown to like dudley after the scene in the 7th book. poor dudley...anyways-
well done :)Author's Response: I always imagine that Dudley gets his life in order, too. :) I picture him to have married and have children and be a more humble, submissive sort. But since the challenge called for 'sloth', he's the only one in the HP universe I could really think of, his character kind of got a bad ending. Hope you don't mind what I did to him! ^_^ Report Review
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