I thought that this was absolutely adorable! Sometimes it's fun to think about some little may-have's with smaller events within the books, and I think that this was a cute idea of what could have happened had Molly and Arthur come to get Harry instead of Ron coming to whisk him away in the flying car. It was cute, and you did a really good job portraying Harry age appropriately as well!Author's Response: I'm happy that you liked this! There was a challenge on the forums that never went to judging, but it involved writing a "what if" sort of moment in the canon series. I was assigned this one, and I loved writing it -- it came very quickly.
I tried keeping this as in-canon as possible, in writing this, and am so pleased to hear that you think this might have actually happened. Thank you for taking the time to review this story for me! :3 Report Review
Poor Aunt Petunia, she had no hope of stopping them did she?
Your writing is fantastic, I envy you. Think I prefer the original escape, no offence haha. Can't beat a flying Ford Anglia pulling off your window bars.Author's Response: Aunt Petunia had no chance indeed! Not to mention that she was probably scared stiff. ;) After all, a bunch of people who could do /magic/ were in her house, scuffing up her nice clean floors!
Thank you for such a lovely compliment! And no worries -- I, too, prefer the original version of Harry's escape. ;) This was written for a long-forgotten challenge that never went to judging, but I've a fond spot for it still. Thank you for giving this a bit of TLC -- I really do appreciate your reviewing it! ♥ Hope to see you back very soon! Report Review
I always liked alternate stories, or alternate timelines, if you will. I think this one was very well done. You can surely feel how miserable Harry is, more so than canon. This could just have easily have happened, although one has to admit that the rescue in canon was much more fun! hehe. I also have an image that I'd like to send to you, an inspirational banner, if you could drop me a line at BKL8008 at gmail dot com. If you want it...Author's Response: This story was actually for a challenge, some months ago, but the initiator never got back to judging the results. :P I'm not too miffed, though, it stands on its own! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
And thanks again for the graphic -- it makes me laugh every time. :D Definitely inspirational! Report Review
Well, first of all, thanks for the welcome to the Ravenclaw Common Room! That was very, very nice of you) Secondly, the story is wonderful, great job!
The weird thing is, it doesn't even feel like an AU. It feels like an early draft for the actual chapter of the actual Chamber of Secrets. (I keep picturing JKR reading it through: Good, good... I like this bit about the plug, good... Wait a second, FLYING CAR?!)
I must admit, I had a bit of a problem with Mr. Weasley's reaction when he notices the bars on Harry's window. I know, I know, they all follow Dumbledore's orders, and it all kind of makes sense, but this whole child abuse thing never sat well with me. When Ron's Dad saw Harry's window and was, like, "Bars, huh? Imagine that." I just... Oh, never mind, it has nothing to do with your writing anyway, just a little personal thing.
Your writing, as I said (or did I?), was very good indeed. I loved the story, and I'm definitely going to check out that podcast now) Good luck and Happy Holidays!Author's Response: Not a problem -- always willing to extend a hand of friendship, if I can. :) Thanks for popping by and checking this out!
I tried integrating this story into canon as much as possible, since it was written for a alternate moments-type challenge and I wanted it to read as though everything from canon was exactly the same except this one bit. I'm glad you seemed to think so!
As for Mr. Weasley's reaction, I do write that he is shocked -- it's a sort of stunned-into-silence thing, that he can't believe anyone would do that to a twelve-year-old. Trust me, mild child abuse does not sit well with him at all.
Thanks for the review! Report Review
I don't usually read a ton of AU's, but I really liked this one! Harry was very well done and his characterization very true to the books. I especially liked the dialogue, it sounded a lot like J.K.'s. :) It was exciting to see inside Harry's head.
I didn't see any grammatical errors and the story as a whole flowed marvelously. You have a wonderful writing style.
FAVORITE QUOTE TIME!!
"It really would have been something to have escaped the Dursleys in a flying car.."
That made me laugh. It was such a wry little insertion of canon, and still flowed very well with the story.
10/10! :)Author's Response: This was originally written for a challenge, but I wanted to make it as canon as possible while fitting the requirements (I had to take a given "what if" scenario and rewrite a scene from the books).
It means so much to me that you thought the dialogue sounded like J.K.'s -- that is an extremely flattering compliment, and I really thank you for it.
Everyone does seem to like that quote! :D I wanted to sort of pay tribute to the master, as it were. Thank you so much for leaving such a wonderfully sweet review! Report Review
Whoa, it's so weird stumbling across stories on the archives that I've listened to in podcast form...I loved it as a podcast, though, and I love it just as much as a one shot!
One of my favorite things about this piece is that you have hints of canon mixed with all the AU. Just saying stuff like "It really would have been something to have escaped the Dursleys in a flying car..." adds that extra element to your work. It jolts me back to canon, which somehow makes me feel more comfortable reading this, if that made any sense at all.
I felt like your characters were all really well done. The small additions like Mr. Weasley with the electricity made a huge difference, and I like how you didn't overdo it either. Even Petunia's reactions were exactly what I expected they would be. You really did a great job with that!
-NaidaAuthor's Response: I sometimes forget I recorded this story as a podcast! I'm really glad to hear you enjoy it, though. :) I LOVE adhering to canon wherever possible (obviously I take liberty with my OCs, but canon facts are my bread and butter) and appreciation of them always encourages me so much.
Thanks so much as always, Naida! Your reviews really brighten my day. ♥ Report Review
I was just lazily searching through the updated stories, and this one caught my eye. I loved it! It's so sweet and charming, and it just warmed my heart. Best of all, it was so in canon. It felt like Jo could have written it herself. I'm also such a bit fan to AU sorts of situations, so I was happy to see this. Good job!Author's Response: Aww, thank you very much. :3 Harry's a little intimidating to write since everything in canon is told through his eyes, and fan fiction writers run a large risk of messing him up. When you said it sounded like Jo, my heart was strangely warmed, and it really meant a lot to me. :3
Thank you for such a kind review! Report Review
This is really sweet and was very enjoyable to read. You've got Harry pretty much on-point, which I was totally relieved to see, because quite a lot of writers tweak him a little.
You should be pleased with how it has turned out; it was lovely.
10/10 :)Author's Response: Your name caused me a bit of a spasm. Hello! I don't believe we've met, but I'm experiencing all sorts of Twilight Zone sensations at the moment. :D Are you sure you're not me in another dimension, then?
Anywho. Thanks so much for reading the story! And I greatly appreciate your comment on Harry's character -- JK knows him so well, writing him is a bit intimidating, and the fact that someone thinks I've got it means a lot. Report Review
I never fail to be impressed by you, sis! Seeing your penname on something pretty much guarantees it's going to be a good read and that I'll love it, and this was no different! Everything you write, no matter what the characters or plot are, is so poetic and beautiful; you are clearly very talented, since you're able to put so much into ANY pairing/genre/scenario. It flows perfectly, as do all your other pieces that I've read. Your description is once again, spot-on; I could picture the events in my head as clearly as if I were standing there when they happened. You include so much detail; it's even the little things that make this so wonderful - like when you said Arthur was looking around as though he expected Harry's trunk to be following them down the stairs. You MUST have won the challenge this one-shot was for, right? An excellent read, dear, I love it! 10/10! Author's Response: Sis! *hug* Your compliments astound and overwhelm me, and your reviews never fail to brighten my day. :3 Actually, I never did recieve results from this challenge, but it matters not a whit to me. :D
Thanks so much! Report Review
YAY I loved this! You write very much like J.K. Rowling, well done!Author's Response: Wow, that comment just made my day! =] I am so glad you came by and left a review, thank you so much for the awesome compliment! Report Review
Oh my goodness Jane! (Sorry this was late... the dishes took way longer than expected :C) This was super mega awesome! I felt like it was written like JKR write things and oh goodness everything was so realistic and very very good!
I really liked how Molly and Arthur (That took me three times to spell! :C) were arguing in the car, that just made it even bettter!
Anyway, I can't think of much else to say other thatn super super mega awesome joib because this was really really well written! I mean, not surprising, coming from you Jane because you radiate awesome, but yeah, twas lovely! :D
-AnnieAuthor's Response: Don't worry a lick about it, dear! *hug*
You thought it took after JKR's style? *faints from shock* That just made my evening, that did. ^^
Annie = the bomb. That is all that is running through my mind right now. ^^ Love you!!! Report Review
omg i loved it. such a nice way to have harry leave privet drive. it makes me wonder if this would have been better, although getting saved by a flying car is rather fascinating as well. very well written!Author's Response: Wow, better? Nothing's better than JK Rowling's version, although I'm flattered you said so. ^_^ I'm so glad you popped by to review, thanks for your sweet comments! Report Review
Wow. I loved this.
I've never thought about it before, but now I do remember Molly saying that she and Arthur were just about to go check on Harry themselves, if he hadn't replied to Ron's letters by the next day. I think it was all very realistic, and very descriptive. I loved every second of it. You captured Harry's essence perfectly - not too angsty, not too complicated - his personality and your narration of him was perfect. It was exactly like reading him in Chamber of Secrets. Yeah, I said it. You wrote like Rowling.
I loved the little bit about Arthur and Molly arguing about the invisibility booster, and how he wanted to turn down that little road. It was a realistic detail that really made your story come to life. I felt like I was sitting there in the backseat with Harry.
But my favorite part is the emotion I got when Harry hugged Molly. It just...a picture is worth a thousand words, you know? And I envisioned it and felt all warm and fuzzy inside - but sad, too, because Molly is the mother Harry always wanted. He lived with his aunt, his closest relation, but she didn't show him any love or affection at all. And here was this woman he barely knew, already showing him more love than he'd ever been given during his whole life at the Dursley's. It was simple and natural for Molly to hug him and coo over him, but it wasn't an everyday thing for Harry. It would have meant a lot to him. I kind of teared up just thinking about it.
Anyway, enough rambling. I loved this. Jane, you are an amazing writer. 10/10.Author's Response: =O
I am speechless. It is probably the best feeling in the world to have one of the best HPFF authors (my opinion, but it's pretty much true) say I wrote like my idol. And so I would say thank you, but that doesn't even come close to covering my feelings!
Hehe, poor Arthur. ^^ I've actually gone back and written in a snippet that shows his fondness for Muggles, he's such fun to write. =] And Mrs. Weasley's fawning over Harry is fun to write too, hehe - especially in front of Aunt Petunia.
Merlin. =] This is probably one of the best reviews I've ever gotten... My hands were shaking at the end of your first paragraph. ^^ Oh, dear me... I'm a mess.
THANK YOU, SARAH! *squish* That's all I know to say anymore. =] Report Review
I loved that line "It really would have been something to have escaped the Dursleys in a flying car..."
I think it was amazing!
Loved it! ;D
-Siriuslover177Author's Response: Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving a review! ^^ Hehe, I love that line, too - a little tribute to JKR's original storyline. =] Thanks so much! Report Review
Bravo my Dear!!! This was a great story. Your word usage and metaphors were amazing. You are very talented and I could completely picture the whole thing in my head as I read, that is the sign of a great writer, in my book anyway. I truly enjoyed every word. No wonder Jess (Golden Trio) loves to read what you right.
I will be searching out more of your writing in deed with much anticipation.Author's Response: Thanks so much for coming by and leaving such a sweet review! I love that my writing gave you pictures in your head - I definitely agree with you when you say that writing should give you mental pictures. =] I most certainly will return to your review thread, as I have some other one-shots you might like! Thanks very much! Report Review
And i was NEVER told of you writing this why? Another amazing piece from miss Jane here. I cant believe the things little Lorenzo can help you pull of!! ;) It just makes me wonder how on earth i am so lucky to have you liking MINE of all peoples writing.
I personally think you couldnt have gotten harry mrs weasley and petunia any better. I do think that Aurthor may have been a little more curious about a muggle home then you wrote him though, maybe causing petunia to be even more in disbelief. however all in all a wonderful fic yet again!! xox JessAuthor's Response: Oh, I was so sure you knew!! =P Perhaps I should make some more shameless adverts, yeah? Bahahaha!!!
Hmm, you're quite right - I think I'm going to go back in and add some more Arthur-y bits. =] Thanks for the suggestion, chickie!
Of course I like your writing, you nuthead. ^^ Thanks so very much, Jess! xoxoxo Report Review
Oh gosh, wonderful story! I love how simple your creation of an alternate story was :) It was done quite, quite well.
The flow was wonderful, and your characters fit themselves radiantly. :D Ahhh. I'm so glad that you've finished and turned it in this early. It's nice to see a response already!
Thanks for this wonderful little story, Jane :)
-AnnaAuthor's Response: Thanks so much for your wonderful review, Anna! *hug* Aren't you proud that you inspired this story? You should be - I never would have written it without your prompt! =]
I'll be eagerly awaiting the challenge results on April 30! Report Review
Aah, this is lovely. I love how you've managed to make this storyline your own while still keeping some of the original element from JKR.
I LOVE this line: 'It really would have been something to have escaped the Dursleys in a flying car...' It's a brilliant line and very fitting!! :D
I can't find anything to criticise or any suggestions for improvements. You've made this real and believable. :)
This is a great story and I definitely love this version of Harry's escape from Privet Drive ^_^
xx Author's Response: Thanks so much for swinging by and leaving a review! *hug* You're just so awesome - one of the sweetest people I know. =]
Hahaha! You got my little tribute to the original plot, there! That just made my day, that did. ^^
Thanks sosososososo much, as always - I cannot even begin to tell you how grateful I am that you would come and leave as many reviews for me as you do. =] Thanks from the very bottom of my heart! xoxoxo Report Review
I really like the way you write - I get the impression you're very visual from reading it, you use a lot of adjectives but nothing that slows down the pace, you keep it moving while painting a very real picture. This was a really good idea for a story (and to think you came up with it for a challenge!), I enjoyed reading it (and I hope I'm still the first review... :D)Author's Response: Thanks so much for coming by and leaving a review! =] Yes, this is a challenge entry and I'm rather pleased with the way it came out. I'm very glad you enjoyed reading it, thanks so very much!
Hope to keep on seeing you around the forums. ^^ Report Review
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